catrope: 6 months clean of psychiatric medication after 23 years

[catrope]

Hello everybody,

 

I am a man from the Netherlands (excuse my English) 43 years old and have bean on psychiatric drugs sins i was 19.

 

I have already read a lot on this site, but now found that it is time to introduce myself to you and be an participating  member.

 

Today i am exactly 1/2 year clean of antidepressants (imipramine), after a tapper of 3 months and still in a lot of pain from withdrawal. I can barely function and had a real difficult 1/2 year. I started with imipramine in 2011 and because of the adverse reactions (cognitive decline and being tired al the time) i was constantly switching between different dosing and there has bin added different drugs (ritalin, modafinil, nortrilen enz) of course nothing really helps and mostly made it worse or adding new adverse reactions.   

 

I work in a forensic psychiatric clinic and trying to do a study (experience expert in care taking). The imipramine was holding me back from my work en study because i could not feel anything and my cognitive performance was really poorly. My thinking was really slow, my memory was poor, and i was always in a huge mist. That is wy i decided that i had to com off these drugs.

 

I new it would be difficult to come of these drugs, because in the past i have had to do a lot of switches between different kind of drugs and this was always really hard and difficult, but i had hoped that it would take me about a few months to deal with withdrawal. By this time i know that that was a mistake to think, and now i don't now how i am going to keep up whit this nightmare. I feel very sick and my brain is a huge mess, i cant think normal, it feels like i don't belong in this world. I don't  understand wy people want to live in this world and everything seems pointless to my now. 

 

I have already read o lot on this site, and have seen a lot what i can identify with.

 

A few years ago the doctors found that i have a serious hart disease (dilating cardiomyopathy) and prescribed my with a lot op drugs for this ( acenocoumarol, furosemide, lanoxin, irbesartan, atenolol activis) and i am afraid these drugs will damage me and my withdrawal even more. But i cant stop taking these drugs because my hart could die.

 

Does anyone have experience with other kind of drugs in relation to withdrawal from psychiatric drugs?          

     

 

Edited February 9, 2019 by ChessieCat
added space

[Gridley]

Hello, catrope and welcome to SA.  I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time.  I've been on Imipramine for over 30.  Your taper was fast and withdrawal symptoms are typical.  You are certainly not alone.  I'm going to give you several links to help you understand your situation and provide some suggestions for dealing with withdrawal.

 

To start, in order to give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.  Please keep it brief.  Do your signature in the form of a list rather than one big paragraph.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Please also write an Introductory topic:

 

Please start a topic about yourself in this forum 

 

To help you understand the symptoms you are experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal and how the brain heals.  The withdrawal time doesn't necessarily correlate with the time you were on the drug.  These drugs alter the architecture of the brain, and the time necessary to heal the brain and return to homeostasis is, unfortunately, impossible to predict.  

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

 The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

Youtube video, 4 minutes: Healing from antidepressants

 

I am going to give you some information about a partial reinstatement of Imipramine in case that is an option to want to consider.  Reinstatement of a very small dose of the original drug is the only known way to help alleviate withdrawal syndrome.  The only other alternative is to try and wait out the symptoms and manage as best you can until your central nervous system returns to homeostasis.  Unfortunately no one can give you an exact timeline as to when you will start feeling better.

 

Reinstatement isn't a guarantee of diminished symptoms for everyone but it's the best tactic available. Reinstatement works most predictably within 3 months of your last dose, so you are outside that time frame.  Please read:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

If reinstatement is something you want to consider, we can suggest a reinstatement dosage after you've given us the information requested in your drug signature.  Please do not reinstate without first consulting with us.

 

Here are some links that give information about coping with withdrawal"

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

This is your Introductory topic, where you can ask questions, provide information and give updates.  Again, welcome to SA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[catrope]

Thank you for your fast response Gridley,

 

I made my signature as requested.

I already read a lot of the posts you recommend but not all of them, so i will read the rest also.

Unfortunately my reading (and writing) skills are at a all-time low right now.

Reinstatement of the imipramine does not appeal to me because i am already 6 months without de drugs. And with the drugs the cognitive functions were also very poor. Also it will take me even longer to be free of this drugs.

 

I am especially concerned about my other (cardiac) medication right now, and what these do to my health en withdrawal.

Ans of course i would like to know how long this will take me and when i will be feeling better, but i already know that nobody can tell me that. 

 

I would like to know if there is a sort of natural course of the different symptoms in withdrawal. I mean is there something to say when the different symptoms appear or is this ramdomness.

Is it possible to see where you stand in de process of withdrawal. This would be interesting because this would make the process more predictable. 

 

       

 

[Gridley]

I completely understand your not wanting to reinstate the Imipramine.

 

1 hour ago, catrope said:

Ans of course i would like to know how long this will take me and when i will be feeling better, but i already know that nobody can tell me that. 

 

 

This post by Brassmonkey, one of our moderators, is a helpful guide.

 

How Long Is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

You also asked:

 

"I would like to know if there is a sort of natural course of the different symptoms in withdrawal. I mean is there something to say when the different symptoms appear or is this ramdomness.

Is it possible to see where you stand in de process of withdrawal. This would be interesting because this would make the process more predictable."

 

Everyone is different.  However, these posts, also by Brassmonkey, is relevant to your questions:

 

WDnormal (withdrawal normal)

 

It doesn’t end at “0”

 

Things to do Along the Way

 

 

[catrope]

I see changes but its not getting much easier to keep going. Not one day is the same and i never know what is going to happen the next day. 

I can't stand being around people and don't understand wy people would want to by together. In my eyes it seems useless.

It's so strange, i don't understand anything that's normal anymore. It really feels like i am from an other planet. 

I don't feel any connection with the people around me, and in the mean while i have never felt so lonely en isolated. It feels like the world keeps spinning and i am watching it from an other planet.

The last view days i am really depressed and my thought are really dark..... almost suicidal and that scares my deeply.

It feels like i am so far away from a normal life right now.

       

[frasier23]

1 hour ago, catrope said:

I see changes but its not getting much easier to keep going. Not one day is the same and i never know what is going to happen the next day. 

I can't stand being around people and don't understand wy people would want to by together. In my eyes it seems useless.

It's so strange, i don't understand anything that's normal anymore. It really feels like i am from an other planet. 

I don't feel any connection with the people around me, and in the mean while i have never felt so lonely en isolated. It feels like the world keeps spinning and i am watching it from an other planet.

The last view days i am really depressed and my thought are really dark..... almost suicidal and that scares my deeply.

It feels like i am so far away from a normal life right now.

       

 

Hey man. Many people here have felt your emotions and many including me didnt think anything would come back. Im still in a somewhat not great place but its not pitch black anymore. I was though for almost 2 years.

 

Ive been suicidal alot. My experience is that you (me) get very afraid when you start to get suicidal thoughts. I think you have to live with that for a while. I believe its a sign that you want to live but your body doesnt like whats happening now.

Remember also that is many cases its the withdrawal that is speaking... But its good if you can spend a lot of time with familiy since suicidal thoughts is important to talk with someone about (take away pressure). I would Not mention it to the doctors though..

 

Sorry to hear about your heart problems. Maybe there are support groups around that as well here on the web. 

Hope you can try to do small positive things every day. Start writing a weekly diary  about your feelings and life and you will in 3 months more clearly see your progress. Plus it feels as youre producing something, at least it has that impact on me.

GL

 

 

 

 

[catrope]

Its bin a while sins i last posted on this site, but i have been reading a lot here.

I am now in mount 13 of withdrawal and some things have improved a little and others have not.

Currently anxiety is my biggest debilitating problem. The last 3 mouths i have tapperd my hearth medication because the made me feel sick. Also because of the side effects i had from psychopharmacology medication and the withdrawal, i became terrified for medication in general and don't want to take any more chemicals to my body.

Recently i stopt taking Atenolol (Beta- blocker), Aceconoumarol (anticoagulant), Irbesartan (angiotensin II receptor antagonist), Lanoxin (cardiac glycoside) and Furosemide (diuretics). My anxiety got much worse by stopping these medications.

In this same time i also tried Acetyl-L-carnitine and Magnesium tauraat (Taurine). These both made the anxiety worse.

This weekend i started taking 1000mg omega 3 with 530mg EPA  and 160mg DHA. Saturday i took 1 capsule and i noticed some calming effect, a bit more clear feeling in my head and a little less anxiety. Sunday i felt a lot of anxiety again and took 1 capsules at 7:00 and another one at 12:00. It did not do much on my anxiety so at 14:00 i took 200mg suntheanine. After that is felt really sick, apathetic and i had a big headache.

I realize that i created a lot of imbalance by stopping al the cardio-logic medication and trying some supplements.

I sure hope the anxiety will get better soon, i find anxiety the worse withdrawal symptom by far.  

 

I am using now 1000mg omega 3, Magnesium pidolaat 70mg, Co-enzyme Q10 120mg, iron bisglycinate 15mg and Vitamin D 50mg.

Anny comment on my supplement use?

Is my vitamin D intake to big?

Should i take more of the omega 3 or stick with this dose?

 

I also did some research on my medical history and i wrote down al the medication i have bin using. In the last 23 years i used 40 different psychopharmacology medications. I am really angry now that i was prescribed so many different medications. And every time i wanted to take less medication i became sick and my psychological symptoms got much worse. The answer from the psychiatrist was always more or different medication.

I also noticed that because of the excessive medication use i became completely unattached with ho i am. Now it feels like i am slowly awaking from a coma for 20 years. Al of a sudden i am 20 years older and i don't now where i have bin for the last 20 years. I really want to be ME again, i miss being ME.   

 

[catrope]

A few days on omega 3 and this is what i noticed; Still anxiety but less severe, feeling more clear in my head, a little better to see thinks in perspective. On the downside; tension/pain in my muscles, more headache, a bit more nauseous, more tired.   

[catrope]

I have bin taking the omega 3 for over a week now and i am not pleased with how i feel. The anxiety is back and even more severe, i feel tensed, mij muscles hurt and i am grinding my teeth a lot . I am taking 3 to 4 capsules with combined 690 of EPA and DHA in one capluse. I am guessing that this is way to much for me.

Anxiety has always bin a problem for me and the psychiatric medications i have bin taking have made it worse. Throughout This summer is stopt taking Atenolol and other cardio medication and this has put my anxiety through the roof.

I am desperately seeking for some relief for the anxiety now. For now i will take only 1 capsule of omega 3 a day and i ordered some taurine. Hopefully this will help a little for the anxiety. I also ordered magnesium  AC glycinaat. Till now i was using magnesium pidolaat and hoping that the magnesium glycinaat will bring a little more relief to my anxiety.

 

Can anyone comment on how to proceed from here??

I am in a terrifying place right now and am scared that i will never heel. It gives me an intense feeling of hopelessness....