Longroadhome: think I may be tapering Seroxat / Paxil too fast

[Sassenach]

Been rough.

Tragic loss for some very friends and neighbours.

Sorry if it was a bit melodramatic.

Really glad I know you.

Will chat tomorow, better then.

Look after yourself, I have a suspision ( can't spell agin arggh ) you are not feeling so great either.

 

Sleep well

 

Sas

[Longroadhome]

I’m ok Sas up and down. Hope you’re ok and feeling better tomorrow. 

Take care 

LRH 

[Sassenach]

What are you doing on here I thought you were working hard speak later bye

[Sassenach]

How have you been today?

Good job we're not married, too much alike, how are you, OK.

Translation, not feeling great but don't want to talk about it😀

Or leave me alone, I like to feel unwell by myself.

Did the withdrawal symptoms start when you you began to taper or when you reached poop out?

Your early cuts were pretty big!

Are the eyelashes back home yet and did she bring a pressie?

Gsd on email.

Take care of yourself, things may be tough now but they will get better.

 

Lots of hugs

 

 

Sas

[Longroadhome]

Hi Sas ! 

Had a day off work today and in the garden . Ive really gone for it prob overdone,  my usual trick,  but garden looking the business 

another day on it Thursday and I reckon Ive cracked it  !! ( brummie saying meaning job well done LRH!!)

yes you’re  right I’m not great but managing and yes I keep it inside like you. 

Withdrawal symptoms began when I hit poop out last August and have continued since. Tapering too fast just increased them. I’ve held now for nearly 5 months and am thinking of starting to taper again now as I really don’t think things are going to improve for me unless I do. 

Dr told me to decrease by those amounts and put me on the pregabalin to cope with the symptoms last November . Can’t stay on pregabalin for another two years while I taper the correct way and it stresses me out taking that as well as Paxil so I’m going to decrease that again this month before the Paxil taper starts . 

What about you Sas? What symptoms do you have ? And when do you think you will start your taper ? 

Millie the eyelashes is back with half an eyelash missing (presumably left in the bottom of a glass in Majorca!!) she had a great time went with two other girls had their ups and downs by the sound of it but let’s just say I think they’d probably go again given the chance and a cooling off period ..😉

Aaah  I’ll check my mail now 

Things are tough for all of us that landed on this site at beginning of this year we all seem to be at the same stage in withdrawal have you noticed? All holding .. were like planes in a holding pattern waiting for the ok to continue to descend ... I don’t like flying but maybe after this I’ll no longer be afraid. 

Things will get better for all of us it’s just the waiting that’s a pain .. in more ways than one !! 

You ok after the weekend and the upset with the neighbours ? 

Take care Sas  

[Longroadhome]

Danny looks so much like Archie such a beautiful boy. 

It made me really smile  when I seen him holding the log I have a piccy just like that somewhere and the log was just as big !

Danny didn’t take into account the width of the bridge by the look of it 😊 I see he has his companion with him . 

Such a  handsome breed don’t you think 

Thank you for sending them x 

[Longroadhome]

Today I need to share something special for me to look back on when I’m pulled back into the black hole of wd; 

 

‘I have experienced my first real window’

 

and it has lasted a whole morning!

 

i have been in a bad place for the last 3 weeks with a ‘high’ wave 🌊.

 

but today for no reason (nothing has changed or altered)  I’ve been granted a window and it has reminded me of the person ‘I truly am’.  

 

Today I’m grateful for the reassurance that recovery will come. 

 

 

 

[Sassenach]

Hi you.

 

I am so happy for you, you can own up now, were you beginning to doubt it would ever happen?

If I was there I would give you the biggest hug, a really tight one🤗.

You deserve it after the last few weeks.

One question.

Why are you on here and not enjoying it with real people?

Hope it continues and thank you for sharing, really good timing.

 

Hugs

 

Sas

[Longroadhome]

Thanks Sas!

yeah I was feeling hopeless 😩 

and that’s an understatement. 

Ive even managed to head a meeting at work using “big” words not forgetting my train of thought and having a clear head. That hasn’t  happened even before wd and poop out!! 

I have had to  record it in  case it doesn’t happen again for a while and I can remind myself it really did 😊

thank you for hug 🤗 Sas

how are you and do please answer ? 

Your friend LRH

[Sassenach]

I was having a thoroughly awful day.

I was beginning to doubt whether the drug was working.

I suppose most people know if it stops working as they may feel depressed.

Problem is I was given this as a precaution and don't  believe I was ever depressed.  Fed up, down, tired, lousy but not depressed.

I have no way of knowing for sure whether I had poop out or WD.

18 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

Hope it continues and thank you for sharing, really good timing.

The really good timing has lifted me and I am sure I will get there eventually.

You make a really good Guinea Pig ( no offence intended ).

I hope you get chance to share this Paul and the girls.

 

SAS

[Longroadhome]

Do you mean your antidepressant? 

How long have you been on them ? 

 

I knew I had hit poop out because of the symptoms I had started to experience . Pins and needles in face and feet,  anxiety that was different in that I could instantaneously make it worse and if I consciously relaxed it would die down . It was different to my usual anxiety I have had in the past . 

Also my history is I get depression first followed by anxiety but the real depression didn’t come until a few months after poop out began. Anxiety was the first symptom . 

Have you experienced windows ? 

[Sassenach]

Before I answer.

Are you still feeling good?

[Longroadhome]

Give me a brief description of why you started on antidepressant and why you came to be on this site and what’s happening now ? 

[Longroadhome]

Yes

[Longroadhome]

Not as good but good nevertheless 

i just keep looking over my shoulder  

[Sassenach]

I will answer but you should go and enjoy it please.

I hope you feel as good tomorrow but make the most of now.

You have already helped on here by posting your success.

You know I like talking to you but can't you go see Paul while you feeling good?

[Sassenach]

Give me, never gets🤣

[Longroadhome]

Nobody not even Paul understands so I try not to speak about it

if I do it’s to ian my ex who knows my history 

[Longroadhome]

Come on you stop diversion tactics 

[Longroadhome]

 

[Sassenach]

On 6/5/2019 at 5:52 PM, Sassenach said:

1983 botched gall bladder op. First time I was ill in my life. Had to give me blood which we found out almost 20 years later was infected.

Virus was dormant for all that time ( had no idea that was possible ) Luckily was only the least worst possible infection but it pretty much left me useless.

Reacted badly to everything they tried, I had  not even liked taking anadol for headaches as it made me nauseous.

Eventually there was only one left which had been linked to two deaths, so I was prescribed Ecitalopram as a precaution.

Talk about the cure being worse than the illness.😭

I will answer properly tomorrow, honest but got to check on neighbours now.

 

Sas

 

 

[Longroadhome]

Hi Sas

read this when you posted before are you holding on ad and how’s it going are you stabilising? 

Do you have anxiety and depression?

 

[Sassenach]

Hi LRH

 

I am holding on 5mgs Escitalopram.

I thought things were improving about a month ago and have had some windows but the last few weeks have not been great.

I certainly do not feel anywhere near being stable ( maybe if I were a horse )

Anxiety and depression not really.

The nearest I get to anxiety is palpitations sometimes. I don't really know what depression is, I have never felt like some on here including yourself obviously have.

I count myself lucky, you hide it well most of the time, but for some it seems to dominate their life, and of course I have you to cheer me up🤗.

Symptoms really started three years ago, the worst is fatigue which has been an issue from 2002 but became much worse, some days my feet feel like lead.

Occasionally it will vanish completely and I have muscle power and stamina again, of course it never lasts long.

Today has been rough how about you? Really hope the window is still around.

22 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

Nobody not even Paul understands

Does that mean Paul has not seen the real you?

 

On 6/18/2019 at 2:25 PM, Longroadhome said:

it has reminded me of the person ‘I truly am’

 

Scaryyyyyyyyyy🤣

 

Have a good evening

 

Sas

[Longroadhome]

Hi Sas

alas the window faded but it did me good as I keep reading what I wrote in my diary yesterday and thinking “did that really happen?” Yes it did!  

you can let depression and anxiety dominate your day but I’m finding the less afraid I am of it the quicker it subsides . Not always possible mind but I am getting there and  for me the only way is to taper off no matter what . I am very determined. 

It does sound like you hit poop out doesn’t it ? 

fatigue seems  to be a common problem for so many but the fact you are getting respite from it is very positive. Do you think some of the fatigue is down to your gall bladder problem you were left with ? 

 

Im glad I cheer you up that’s good to hear 👂  

I’m back in wd today but feeling stronger emotionally. 

As from yesterday I’ve decreased my pregabalin to 1 x 25mg daily. My intention is to be off it completely by the end of next month. I have not taken it regularly from the start so yes this may have contributed to my symptoms but I’m optimistic I’ll be ok without it. 

 

Then from September I’ll start the brass monkey taper with my Paxil until I’m off it completely however long it takes. 

Has Paul seen the real

me ? I’ve been honest about the ad I’ve been on for years and the wd I’m going through. But I think I’m the same as you I don’t like to share how I’m feeling as it somehow makes me feel worse if I voice it. Then I know I’m in a bad place so I can’t go there.  I keep it to myself unless it gets unbearable then I may say something along the lines of “it’s a bad day today”  . And the nicest thing is a hug in return  

 

ha ! The person I am is still inside me as I found out yesterday . I enjoy life,  filling my day with interesting things like shopping gym cinema  gardening and socialising ! And that’s just the first half of the day !!

 

sorry you’re  having a bad day Sas but do remember tomorrow you may very well have a lovely “window” of opportunity.  

It will happen. 

 LRH  

[Sassenach]

Hi LRH

 

Guess you have been gardening today, come and do mine please

Need to go for my tea.

Chat tomorrow.

 

Sas

[Longroadhome]

Asthenia and chronic fatigue are another common side affect of SSRIs and wd so why not poop out ? 

What you thinking ? 

[Sassenach]

Stop using big words I don' undersrand.

How did you know you had crashed?

In a rush will be on 5-7pm.

 

SAS

[Sassenach]

Hi

 

You've disappeared so off for an adrenaline rush

 

Byeeeeeeeeee

[Sassenach]

Hi LRH

 

Hope you are ok.

 

SAS

[Longroadhome]

Hi Sas 

have sent you two replies long ones too both Friday have you not received? It was in answer to your questions about poop out? 

Im in Lincoln this weekend with my mother in law and yes im

Ok back in waves but managing,  as you do. she’s  keeping me occupied in her garden. Weeding !! Hardly my favourite job outdoors. 

How are you ? 

[Sassenach]

Hi LRH

 

Only got one short one on Friday, checked PMs and email too, nothing.

Really sorry if if you spent a long time replying, never happened before on here.

Can you resend or are they deleted?

I asked you do to my garden but you not even your mum in law's, your ex mum in law's, shows where I am in the pecking order

Safe home.

Chat soon.

 

Sas

[Sassenach]

Hi

 

Missing You.

Hope you are OK, whatever that means to us😄

 

SAS

[Longroadhome]

3 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Hi

 

Missing You.

Hope you are OK, whatever that means to us😄

 

SAS

Hi Sas 

sorry msnager off this week and as predicted just about everything is going wrong 

printers aren’t working 

staff going off sick

children down with chicken pox 

 

and to top it off Georgie has been sick with small blood clots in it so I’m taking her to vets this afternoon 

how are you? 

Missing you too Sas 

LRH  

[Sassenach]

Sorry to hear this LRH

Hope Georgie is ok.

Try and get some quiet time to yourself.

Lots of hugs🤗🤗🤗

SAS

[Longroadhome]

Just come from vets Georgie staying in fir tests and vet asked if she’d had access to rat poison !!! She hasn’t 

£650 to pay and she only cost me forty quid !!!! 

Insurance ran out April grrrrrr 

anyway some good news today Paul’s biopsies show nothing worrying . Inflammation .

just waiting on CAT scan results . 

Sas how are you you’re  not answering ? 

Right back at ya with hugs 🤗 

[Sassenach]

This is my yorkshire coming out, £650 quid for what?

The insurance would probably have found a reason not to pay out 😈

But we all know it does not matter what they cost.

Great news about Paul, it's not all bad.

How am I doing ? OK Ta.

Seriously get this week over for both of us and go from there.

Have you seen Anna has posted?

Have not had time to read properly but does not look great.

Was not going to tell you but seemed unfair after you offered so much.

Please do not add to your stress though or I will have nobody to be silly with.

 

Sas