BigPharmStinks: Lexapro / escitalopram withdrawal

[Altostrata]

What time of day do you take 1mg escilatopram? When do these symptoms occur? How long do they last?

 

Is the brain fog worse at some times than others?

 

Did you ever take fluoxetine or citalopram?

[BigPharmaStinks]

I was in Europe for 3 weeks and there I took my lexapro at 4:30 PM because I was 6 hours ahead of Toronto. I returned to Toronto on June 8 and so I took my medication as usual at 10:30AM. I did not have any adverse reactions to lexapro since returning till yesterday when while driving I developed all those symptoms I mentioned 10 minutes after taking my lexaro. The symptoms, especially derealization which I never experinced before, are still affecting me today. 

 

I never tried citalopram nor fluoxetine because I am scared to change meds, even though I know those ssris are weaker than lexapro.

 

I am wondering if I need to change my lexapro dosage?

[BigPharmaStinks]

2 minutes ago, BigPharmaStinks said:

I was in Europe for 3 weeks and there I took my lexapro at 4:30 PM because I was 6 hours ahead of Toronto. I returned to Toronto on June 8 and so I took my medication as usual at 10:30AM. I did not have any adverse reactions to lexapro since returning till yesterday when while driving I developed all those symptoms I mentioned 10 minutes after taking my lexaro. The symptoms, especially derealization which I never experinced before, are still affecting me today. 

 

I never tried citalopram nor fluoxetine because I am scared to change meds, even though I know those ssris are weaker than lexapro.

 

I am wondering if I need to change my lexapro dosage?

These similar symptoms occured a month ago when I was also driving and shortly after taking my lexapro. I am always lethargic on withdrawal and so when I was driving I got really sleepy but kept forcing myself to stay awake. I'm not sure if by forcing myself awake, I triggered some changes in my nervous system.

[BigPharmaStinks]

I am feeling worse again today after taking the lexapro, but am so confused because I felt better at 10mg before doing too fast of a taper for 2nd time back in November. I also had some improvements in cognition and all symptoms 2.5 months ago, but ever since that I've been feeling bad and non-functional. And now past two days even worse than my 2.5 month-long wave.

 

if I can't write my universit exams in August, I lose all my md-phd acceptances since I was given a one year deferral with the requirement that I graduate by Spring of 2020, and complete all my remaining differed exams with good grades.

[BigPharmaStinks]

I am in desperate need to regain some cognitive function in order to keep my future, which I have worked incredibly hard for. Should I start tapering my Lexapro? Or should I updose?

[BigPharmaStinks]

Anyone kindly able to help me? I am far from stabilized but I am reacting very negatively to 1mg Lexapro all of a sudden after being on it for 6.5 months. As such, I started tapering off by going down to 0.9mg for now.

[ChessieCat]

On 6/14/2019 at 12:53 AM, BigPharmaStinks said:

I was in Europe for 3 weeks and there I took my lexapro at 4:30 PM because I was 6 hours ahead of Toronto. I returned to Toronto on June 8

 

Your symptoms may have increased because of the stress of the holiday and/or the return to your usual routine.  Other members have had this happen.

[BigPharmaStinks]

20 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Your symptoms may have increased because of the stress of the holiday and/or the return to your usual routine.  Other members have had this happen.

Thank you! Hope you have been doing well :).

[India]

On 2/25/2019 at 6:08 AM, BigPharmaStinks said:

Constantly: severe brain fog (before mads had near-photographic memory, 4

Like being permenantly concussed. That’s how I describe it..

[India]

On 6/17/2019 at 11:29 PM, BigPharmaStinks said:

Anyone kindly able to help me? I am far from stabilized but I am reacting very negatively to 1mg Lexapro all of a sudden after being on it for 6.5 months. As such, I started tapering off by going down to 0.9mg for now.

 Feel your dilemma. I have stuck on 5.4mg for some time to stabilise .. at 6mg , not sure whether to updose or taper.

 

@jozeff had a quandary also... He updosed , stabilised and think he might be tapering . 

 

I decided to stay on 5.4mg to stabilise  but considering a taper of 1% micro taper soon..

 

Very personal decision. Hope some other members can help . 

[BigPharmaStinks]

On 7/25/2019 at 8:37 PM, India said:

 Feel your dilemma. I have stuck on 5.4mg for some time to stabilise .. at 6mg , not sure whether to updose or taper.

 

@jozeff had a quandary also... He updosed , stabilised and think he might be tapering . 

 

I decided to stay on 5.4mg to stabilise  but considering a taper of 1% micro taper soon..

 

Very personal decision. Hope some other members can help . 

I actually discontinued the Lexapro on June 22, 2019. I felt a little better after discontinuing, and am now veryyyy slowly improving in windows and waves. Best of luck to your taper

[phillyfan24]

Hey bigpharmastinks,

 

Just checking in to see how everything is going since being off the meds. How’s the brain fog and dissociation?

[BigPharmaStinks]

17 hours ago, phillyfan24 said:

Hey bigpharmastinks,

 

Just checking in to see how everything is going since being off the meds. How’s the brain fog and dissociation?

Hi there! I’m officially 2 months off Lexapro after discontinuing from 0.9mg, and am very slowly improving every month. My serious brain fog, amnesia, and dissociation among many other symptoms are all improving every few weeks in the windows and waves pattern. 

 

How are you doing?

[phillyfan24]

On 8/20/2019 at 3:09 PM, BigPharmaStinks said:

Hi there! I’m officially 2 months off Lexapro after discontinuing from 0.9mg, and am very slowly improving every month. My serious brain fog, amnesia, and dissociation among many other symptoms are all improving every few weeks in the windows and waves pattern. 

 

How are you doing?

thats great to hear...keep up the good work!

 

I feel about the same but have continued to decrease my dose, so that's a positive. I still have the brain fog and dissociation pretty severely tho which isn't great, but it gives me hope to hear you are improving with time.

[BigPharmaStinks]

On 8/21/2019 at 5:40 PM, phillyfan24 said:

thats great to hear...keep up the good work!

 

I feel about the same but have continued to decrease my dose, so that's a positive. I still have the brain fog and dissociation pretty severely tho which isn't great, but it gives me hope to hear you are improving with time.

Yeah I have it severe as well in waves, but I hope it clears in the next year. Do you also have constant head pressure?

[Altostrata]

On 8/20/2019 at 12:09 PM, BigPharmaStinks said:

Hi there! I’m officially 2 months off Lexapro after discontinuing from 0.9mg, and am very slowly improving every month. My serious brain fog, amnesia, and dissociation among many other symptoms are all improving every few weeks in the windows and waves pattern. 

 

How are you doing?

 

That's great! How has your symptom pattern changed in the last 2 months?

[phillyfan24]

On 8/25/2019 at 4:46 PM, BigPharmaStinks said:

Yeah I have it severe as well in waves, but I hope it clears in the next year. Do you also have constant head pressure?

It's hard for me to describe what i feel...i would describe it as constant brain fog, a feeling like there is something in my head...so you could probably call that head pressure as well

[BigPharmaStinks]

On 8/26/2019 at 1:43 AM, Altostrata said:

 

That's great! How has your symptom pattern changed in the last 2 months?

I am experiencing windows and waves, but the symptoms are a little less severe than they were after several months on 1mg.

[Altostrata]

Please update your signature with the date you reinstated 1mg escilatopram. When did you go completely off the reinstatement?

[BigPharmaStinks]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

Please update your signature with the date you reinstated 1mg escilatopram. When did you go completely off the reinstatement?

Sorry for the confusion, but I’ve been off Lexapro for 12 weeks now. I’m not reinstating any psychoactive meds ever again. I forgot how to update my signature, sorry.

[Altostrata]

Your signature:

 

Quote

Current: 1mg Escitalopram (for past 4 months), dropped HardyNutritionals Daily Essential Nutrients from 12 to 8 capsules a day 4 weeks ago.

 

Please update it with current info. Instructions: Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[jozeff]

Hi bigpharma,

 

How are you doing on zero mg of medication?? I really would like to know how you are doing lately?

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

[BigPharmaStinks]

Hi Jozeff! First, I hope you are slowly improving as you taper your citalopram very slowly. My story is a little complicated as I have been in withdrawal since May 2018 when I started tapering off 40mg of Lexapro too quickly. After that reinstatements and addition of vortioxetine did not help much, instead destabilizing me further. Had I stayed off Lexapro since May 2018, I believe I would be very close to fully healed now. Nonetheless, I am now very slowly healing. My healing has followed the windows and waves nature since discontinuing Lexapro at 0.7mg (stayed for 6 months at 1mg then rushed to 0.7mg in a matter of two weeks, thinking I was reacting adversely to the Lexapro, and finally quit). What I later realized was that it was not an adverse reaction, but instead a severe wave that hit at 6 months on 1mg (due to rapid drop from 5mg of Lexapro and fully discontinuing Vortioxetine). Symptoms which stayed with me ever since destabilizing my nervous system since the rapid taper in summer of 2018: severely degraded working, short-term and long-term memory; difficulty forming thoughts (mainly blank mind); degraded executive functioning; difficulty finding words in written and verbal conversation; 24/7 squeezing head pressure; apathy; anhedonia; dissociation; depersonalization; waves of severe ocd; fatigue and weakness; blurry vision; eye floaters. Please note that in the 1-2 day long windows all these symptoms improved greatly.

 

Journey after discontinuation of Lexapro:

 

First 1.5 months: Much less severe symptoms than when I discontinued from 10mg back in summer of 2018. All the symptoms above with added heart palpitations and burning skin.

Months 1.5-5: Burning skin and heart palpitations gone. Started experiencing windows ranging from few hours to 1 day in length. In waves 95% of the time. Anxiety and ocd became progressively more severe between months 1-4, but by month 5 was drastically improving. Able to exercise more aggressively in windows, albeit with symptom exacerbation afterwards.

Months 5.5-8.5: At 5.5 months off got hit with severe wave (what seems to be the 4-6 month wave people talk about). In this wave, I developed burning brain and all the above symptoms were significantly exacerbated. This wave lasted 2 months, then brief window, and back to wave with slightly different symptoms. Overall though, the last 3 months have been characterized by greatly diminished anxiety and ocd, which was however replaced with anhedonia. 

 

The healing is very confusing, symptoms morphing, windows appearing out of nowhere, and waves of excruciating misery striking by surprise. However, please know that I am slowly improving in all domains, with the slowest improvements coming in the cognitive domain along with head pressure and dissociation. 

 

I believe that after the 1 year mark, significant improvements in cognitive symptoms and head pressure will appear.

 

How are you doing in your taper?

 

 

[Amira]

Hello @BigPharmaStinks how are you doing? I have all of your symptoms and i am slowly improving but they are still not gone completely

[BigPharmaStinks]

2 hours ago, Amira123 said:

Hello @BigPharmaStinks how are you doing? I have all of your symptoms and i am slowly improving but they are still not gone completely

Hi there! I have been in a wave for the past 2 months, but in windows I definitely see good improvements :). Ever since 5.5 months off, my cognitive and physical issues worsened while the anxiety-related symptoms greatly improved. In windows, my cognition, anheodnia, apathy, energy, headaches and visual disturbances all improve, however those windows are rare nowadays for me. From speaking with fellow sufferers of this iatrogenic brain injury with similar symptoms as you and me, it seems that many, especially those suffering from severe cognitive issues and anhedonia + apathy, turn the corner at 18-24 months out. How are you doing nowadays? Glad to see some of your symptoms slowly disappearing!

[Amira]

@BigPharmaStinks

i will be 24 months off next October. Akathisia, fear and black depression are gone and when they come back they stay for a short time. Also i have seen some improvments of physical symptoms. But i am still dealing with anxiety, anhedonia, despersonalization, apathy, emotion numbness, brain fog and cognitive issue related to thinking, reading, understanding and creativity. During windows the symptoms never leave, but they become  bearable and less intense. Hopefully by the 3rd year these symptoms subside for me 🙏🏻

 

Are you off meds or still on them? It's a good sign you are seeing improvments. This wave will end and you will have a very good window soon

[BigPharmaStinks]

On 7/20/2020 at 6:43 PM, Amira123 said:

@BigPharmaStinks

i will be 24 months off next October. Akathisia, fear and black depression are gone and when they come back they stay for a short time. Also i have seen some improvments of physical symptoms. But i am still dealing with anxiety, anhedonia, despersonalization, apathy, emotion numbness, brain fog and cognitive issue related to thinking, reading, understanding and creativity. During windows the symptoms never leave, but they become  bearable and less intense. Hopefully by the 3rd year these symptoms subside for me 🙏🏻

 

Are you off meds or still on them? It's a good sign you are seeing improvments. This wave will end and you will have a very good window soon

Sorry to hear you are still suffering from the cognitive and emotional symptoms. I can completely relate. You should start turning the corner in your nervous system healing in the next 6 months. I am 13 months off Lexapro so have a way to go before I turn the corner towards significant improvements. 

[Amira]

@BigPharmaStinks  Hang in there, i started to see big improvments at month 22. It is a very slow process, but the end result is worth it. Wishing you speedy recovery!

 

[BigPharmaStinks]

I am now 27 months out from discontinuation of 40mg of Escitalopram and previous to that a taper off clonazepam 0.5mg and Vyvanse 15mg. In waves which occupy 90-95% of my time, I am still dealing with significant cognitive impairments, such as a constant blank mind (very few spontaneous thoughts due to what I conclude to be significantly diminished frontal lobe activity), loss of cognitive flexibility, inability to spontaeously assemble a flow of more than a few thoughts, significantly impaired working, short and long term memory, anomic aphasia (difficulty remembering a significant percentage of my previous vocabulary), increased head pressure and jaw tension when trying to access abstract thinking or attempt to solve an academic problem, loss of executive functions such as problem-solving, critical thinking and planning/organization; mental symptoms like anhedonia, apathy, loss of emotions & personality and amotivation; and physical issues like chronic fatigue, blurry vision & eye floaters, constant jaw tension and muscle spasms, food sensitivities, exercise intolerance, muscle weakness, squeezing head pressure, sporadic tingling in frontal and temporal lobes, occasional dizziness, and just overall autonomic instability. I’ve had fleeting windows, moreso in the first year, but in the past 13 months they rarely occur and by no means are the windows close to what I used to be cognitively and physically prior to the Escitalopram-Vyvanse-Clonazepam cocktail.

 

Symptoms I no longer have are the typical acute ones like being bedridden, constant dizziness, vertigo, chemical anxiety, neuropathic pain, and burning & itching skin .

 

Miraculously I managed to resume my MD-PhD studies despite functioning at 20% capacity most days - but as Dave Cope, an MIT alumni from the movie Medicating Normal repeatedly said - life is living hell most of the time. Just wondering if anyone with these debilitating cognitive and physical symptoms turned the corner after 2.5-3 years off, as I’m desperate to preserve my medical and PhD education. I’ve seen a few similar cases as mine like Dave Cope recover, but it took him 4-4.5 years to turn the corner from what I've inferred.

 

Please let me know if any of you had serotoninergic neurotoxicity syndrome/as people like to call it here protracted withdrawal syndrome manifest itself in a similar way and when you turned the corner? I am still confident that I will return to at least 75% of my former self, but from what I've seen for cases of substantial cognitive impairment like mine it can take 4-5 years.

 

Best wishes  to everyone else recovering from protracted withdrawal syndrome and/or drug-induced neurotoxicity .

[Nic123]

On 9/9/2021 at 5:08 AM, BigPharmaStinks said:

I am now 27 months out from discontinuation of 40mg of Escitalopram and previous to that a taper off clonazepam 0.5mg and Vyvanse 15mg. In waves which occupy 90-95% of my time, I am still dealing with significant cognitive impairments, such as a constant blank mind (very few spontaneous thoughts due to what I conclude to be significantly diminished frontal lobe activity), loss of cognitive flexibility, inability to spontaeously assemble a flow of more than a few thoughts, significantly impaired working, short and long term memory, anomic aphasia (difficulty remembering a significant percentage of my previous vocabulary), increased head pressure and jaw tension when trying to access abstract thinking or attempt to solve an academic problem, loss of executive functions such as problem-solving, critical thinking and planning/organization; mental symptoms like anhedonia, apathy, loss of emotions & personality and amotivation; and physical issues like chronic fatigue, blurry vision & eye floaters, constant jaw tension and muscle spasms, food sensitivities, exercise intolerance, muscle weakness, squeezing head pressure, sporadic tingling in frontal and temporal lobes, occasional dizziness, and just overall autonomic instability. I’ve had fleeting windows, moreso in the first year, but in the past 13 months they rarely occur and by no means are the windows close to what I used to be cognitively and physically prior to the Escitalopram-Vyvanse-Clonazepam cocktail.

 

Symptoms I no longer have are the typical acute ones like being bedridden, constant dizziness, vertigo, chemical anxiety, neuropathic pain, and burning & itching skin .

 

Miraculously I managed to resume my MD-PhD studies despite functioning at 20% capacity most days - but as Dave Cope, an MIT alumni from the movie Medicating Normal repeatedly said - life is living hell most of the time. Just wondering if anyone with these debilitating cognitive and physical symptoms turned the corner after 2.5-3 years off, as I’m desperate to preserve my medical and PhD education. I’ve seen a few similar cases as mine like Dave Cope recover, but it took him 4-4.5 years to turn the corner from what I've inferred.

 

Please let me know if any of you had serotoninergic neurotoxicity syndrome/as people like to call it here protracted withdrawal syndrome manifest itself in a similar way and when you turned the corner? I am still confident that I will return to at least 75% of my former self, but from what I've seen for cases of substantial cognitive impairment like mine it can take 4-5 years.

 

Best wishes  to everyone else recovering from protracted withdrawal syndrome and/or drug-induced neurotoxicity .

 

 

So sorry to hear you have had to endure this so long but honestly that makes me feel so incredibly hopeless as I have all of your symptoms and the blank mind and complete numb emotions will be the death of me. There is just no way i could live like this for 4-5 years. Its been 9 months since i stopped and nothing has really improved. I had a few weeks/months back where thoughts were kind of coming back anhedonia was kind of gone and cognitive function greatly improved but i had a very stressful period and now i feel like I'm back at square one. the pssd has seen no improvements and if anything have gotten worst but i don't really care all that much. being without emotions is the most devastating for me. I think its easy to look at 4 years like its impossible but if i do have slowly increasing improvements then maybe it will be bearable to reach. I genuinely think lockdowns and being unemployed have made me far worst though as i have a mixture of deep depression mixed in there as well. I was only on 5mg of escitalopram for 3 months so hopefully i didn't do to much damage.

 

I hope you recover soon, NO ONE should have to go through something like this

[BigPharmaStinks]

30 months off and have been getting worse the past 4 months. Completely disabled cognitively and physically while also dealing with the usual anhedonia, emotional anesthesia and depersonalization. Unfortunately, healing Is determined by intrinsic genetic and epigenetic factors.

[Dreamingaboutbetterdays]

Hi @BigPharmaStinks

 

I am so sorry for you. it is really devastating to read another story about someone who is so severely damaged by psych meds...and so young.. unfortunately, I am in the same situation. On top of the issues you have I am dealing with dark suicidal depression and apathy. I know that more meds can only destabilise me further, but my  family would like me to see a psychiatrist. I have even thought about ECT for this drug induced depression, but I guess it could worsened cognitive functions even further.. did you have any brain scan or some health check done? 

 

best

[Lilly998]

@BigPharmaStinks i was reading ur story in the hope of u would recover after 1 year mark stopping those deadly poisons, but I was shocked that u have gone through 2 years of WD till now this is so Harsh !! 

I am sorry that u have gone through all of this esp being a medical student It makes it harder and harder but u are STRONG u gonna pass this .. WE all gonna pass this sooner or later.💪❤

 

I am just so frustrated as this is my 8 months WD and i was expecting to be CLOSER to HEALING but the journey seems so Long 

 

A question plz : I wondered about reinstating Escitalopram at small dose Bec I have quitted Clompiramine 25 mg CT which is a huge mistake , so does reinstating worth trying esp if I have gone CT like this or it is just adding more toxins to my brain ?

 

Hope u Heal soon 💛

 

 

[Lilly998]

@Nic123 I think ur case will be easier u have been on this meds only for 3 months , hope u heal soon and tell us ur Success Story 🙏🏻

[Nic123]

2 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

@Nic123 I think ur case will be easier u have been on this meds only for 3 months , hope u heal soon and tell us ur Success Story 🙏🏻

I had hope that I would but I don’t even know anymore it’s been close to a year with no changes really apart from now I think I’m getting anxiety and heavy despair about this situation I’m having a really bad numb/depersonalised period again after I read some guy who 7 years later still struggling with same symptoms as me… and they last sooo long. It’s just the inability to feel emotions strongly that I can’t stand or just feeling like nothing goes on in my head anymore. Thoughts that I do have, have absolutely no weight or feeling tied to them anymore so I’m left feeling like a vegetable most days. 
 

 

I had a huge setback due to a medical issue after the vaccine where I haven’t been able to do much of anything physically and it’s made things sooooo much worst

[Lilly998]

@Nic123 it is difficult I know I can relate to this , but have u experienced any WINDOWS during this year?  

Don't u take any supplements ?

I suggest watching success stories videos on YouTube when u feel u are losing hope.. there are many people who have made it and they live their best life.

7 years is such a rare case I think, I saw many many people here who were on this poisons for 10 years and recovered after 1 or 2 years 

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel ❤