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I am writing this as an addendum to My Story which details what ADs did to my life and discusses to a degree how I got my life back. However, I am writing this to elaborate on what certain problems where posed both physically and logistically after I stopped taking medications. Please keep in mind that I went COLD TURKEY and did not taper, which differentiates me from many people on here; also my story took place over 10 years ago, so my memory is not is 100% clear which means it is hard for me to apply a quantitative number to aspects of my physical recovery.

 

In 2002 I quit cold turkey from a drug cocktail that included an Antidepressant (Celexa), an Antipsychotic (Zyprexa), an Anticonvulsant (Depakote), a Benzo (Ativan), a Z-Drug (Ambien) and a prescription diet pill (Phenteramine – given to me by my pdoc to lose the 60 pounds of weight I gained from the other weight gaining medications).

 

The physical ramifications of quitting cold turkey where hard core, and lasted to the best of my recollection in hard core form for six months. These were: insomnia, exhaustion, akathesia, flu-like symptoms, headaches, nausea and vomiting, total loss of appetite and over-sensitivity to certain substances. There were also mental symptoms: overwhelming memories, mania, depression, over-emotional reactions to certain situations (e.g. crying or extreme anger) and PTSD from the whole ordeal.

 

It is important to note that many of these symptoms continued to linger in a much lesser form for several years. I know that many of you would like a firm number of how long I suffered, but I cannot put a number on it because I started my recovery in 2002 – 10 years ago. This is further complicated by the fact that to get through the exhaustion from WD, I smoked cigarettes anywhere from one to one and a half packs for many years after. Since smoking can mimic some of the symptoms of WD (loss of appetite, headaches, mania, anger) it is hard to delineate what was what. However, I do believe that smoking provided mental focus that I would not have had otherwise. I finally quit smoking in 2007, five years after stopping meds. It was an odd thing, I just stopped one day and no longer wanted to smoke anymore. Maybe this was a sign of my recovery, but it may also have been a reaction to the fact that because of NY laws and my husband, if I needed to smoke I had to go outside. Smoking outside in the rain or cold was getting stupid. I do believe that part of this was a sign of final recovery – I didn’t need to mask symptoms anymore. So if this is true, and I had to put a number on it – I would say I battled with minor symptoms and PTSD for five years

 

So what problems was I left with after drugs had stolen my life? And how did I regain control? Here is a list:

 

Weight Gain

A ruined job history

A ruined credit history from filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy

Over $20K in debt to the IRS plus two tax liens

PTSD

Estrangement from my family

 

I was fully aware of the PTSD, and would think on occasion of reaching out to a therapist. However, because the whole ordeal left me extremely suspicious of the whole field of mental health, I declined to reach out to anyone.

 

So based on this list, I will try to tackle how I recovered in each area:

 

1) Weight Gain: I lost my appetite during WD and I also became a huge walker. In one year I lost sixty pounds with little effort. I did eat, but I ate very small meals, 200 kcal 3-5 times a day, mostly high protein and I ate an apple a day and I drank a TON of herbal tea.

 

2) A ruined job history: I had been fired from three high paying jobs, all in IT. I had no references, a job gap of four years, but I had good computer and office skills so I reached out to temporary agencies. I worked as a temp for many years, in the NY/NJ area only taking jobs at Fortune 500 companies. I built up my resume this way. Today, I list those jobs as “contract” and I explain that I liked the flexibility of “contract work” and that I was in the process of getting married and building a home with my husband, no one questions it.

 

3) A ruined credit history: I got a copy of all three of my credit reports and joined a credit law forum. I found that there were many examples where creditors where breaking either or both the FCRA or FDCPA laws on my credit report. I also hired an attorney. The attorney got 50% of it cleared up, I got the other 50% cleared up myself by tenacious letter writing and disputing with the Credit Bureaus. The forum I used had a great database of creditors who gave people with Bankruptcy on their reports a card with a small credit line; I applied to all of these and rebuilt my credit this way. When I married my husband in 2005, he added me as an authorized user to his accounts, giving me a longer and stronger credit history.

 

4) Tax Debt and Liens: After hiding from the IRS for several years, I contacted them and got on an installment plan. Because I was not working at the time I called them, my payment amount was on $185 for $20K+ in debt. I paid it faithfully for years; in October 2011 I was paid in full. Because the IRS has a law that you cannot pay more than 25% in interest and penalties of the actual tax debt, a good $10K got knocked off the total bill. But I still had two tax liens on my credit report. I did some research and found out about a service called the Tax Advocate service which is run through the IRS. I contacted my local Tax Advocate. For the sake of brevity, I will not go into the details of how I argued my case to get two tax liens released, but I did and in 2005 poof they were gone from my life and my credit report. If anyone needs more info, I would be happy to answer questions later in this post.

 

5) PSTD: I just endured this, but chose to embrace anger over victimhood. I was one extremely angry person for many years and I ruminated and had nightmares for years. I often thought about writing the SHRINK who did this to me, but refrained. One thing that I learned from this whole ordeal was to trust in my instincts which was empowering and allowed me to pick and chose my relationships with people and situations that were good for me. I let go of many friends who were not healthy for me.

 

6) Estrangement from my family: In 2003 I was estranged from my entire family (father, mother and brother). Today I am by choice still estranged from by father and brother. This is because I realize it is futile to ever expect them to change and to stay in relationship with them will only hurt me. I have however, repaired my relationship with my mother. I am extremely happy to share that six months ago I convinced her to move from Illinois to New York and reclaim her life. She tapered off multiple pmeds herself around 2007 and was left with two medical conditions diabetes and downbeat nystagmus from taking lithium and depakote for many years. She lived alone, my brother who lived close by was not helping her, and she was not getting the proper medical attention so she agreed with me. Today she lives 2 miles away from me, we are extremely close and I have helped her get her life back. My husband and she adore each other.

So that is how I put the pieces of my life back after being devastated by polypharmacy. And I joined this forum because I think it is important that people know that taking these medications can be extremely harmful on so many levels.

 

I hope this information helps someone out there. Please feel free to post any questions you may have.

 

I wish all of you the best and trust that if I could restore my life which was utterly devastated by psychiatry, you can too.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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My god , whatever! I knew from your previous posts you were incredibly strong and focused In your battle against these drugs! I just have such immense respect and admiration for all you've been through! I really give you cudos for helping your mom get better. Does anything get you down, now that you've lived through and survived this nightmare?

 

I think when I'm having a particularly heinous day, I will look back and read your story. You're amazing! Thank you for taking the time to write all of us sufferers. It really does give us hope!

I started withdrawing off remeron in August of 2009, with the help of a holistic physician.The reason for the withdrawal was a year or two of off and on nausea, deterioration in my thinking, and more depression. It took me a full year to work from 135 mg down to 45mg. At that point, more drops were causing more depression. Unfortuately, the nervousness that I was also feeling for the last year continued with the 45 mg. Thirty one days ago, I stopped the remeron. I am still feeling the nervousness every day and the last week, I am feeling what I think is depression but not sure. In bed in the morning, I'm already dreading another day feeling this way. I am intensely unsure of myself and find it very hard to do anything. I was a practicing veterinarian for 29 years until I found I could not practice anymore. First of all I couldn't think, or remember, and I had absolutely no confidence in anything I did. These were things I did with relative ease for twenty+ years. So, this feeling of no confidence has been during the time I was on the AD(the last 2 years) and today. I take no other medication other than my blood pressure meds. I tried supplements with my holistic dr. but they seemed to make the intense nervousness even more intense. Anyway, I truly feel stuck.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you so much for posting your story. It's a keeper.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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elizabeth11

You are amazing and your story of struggle and survival in fantastic and an inspiration.

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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You should write a book Whatever!

Rosie

2009 Efexor 75mg tapered twice

November 2011 Pristiq 50 mg

January 2012 Pristiq 100 mg, became very dizzy and anxious with a lot negative thinking! Ear aches, eye pain, headaches, bruxism, night sweats.

Currently on 30 mg of compounded Pristiq

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Does anything get you down, now that you've lived through and survived this nightmare?

 

You have encovered the meaning of my screen name "whatever". As in go ahead disappoint me, threaten me, "whatever" I can take it.

 

But seriously, yes things do get me down, I just try not to stay down too long.

 

You know occasionally, I think about printing out my introduction from this forum and sending it the pdoc who I had. But that seems so melodramatic to do so, and I am not in a place where I want to punish him, I just occassionally go to a place of "I think you should know what you did doctor".

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Barbarannamated

I think he should know too - perhaps a cameo in the movie ;)

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Cameo in the movie that is hysterical! You know I have been told I look a lot like a young Helen Mirren and have also been frequently compared to Meryl Streep.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Barbarannamated

A good visual - THANKS - and very talented-

Funny Helen Mirren story - I went to a screening of terrible movie she did (madam of ***** house in desert) and it was so bad I walked out - she was sitting right behind me in theater -

Wasn't any big Hollywood thing - just a regular movie theatre in Rancho Mirage with industry connections -

Love Ranch was the movie - wanted to stay for Q&A but movie was sooo bad -

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I find hope in your story. I have the utmost respect for you and to see such a strong will is inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing! I am also in New York...May I ask what part you live in....

Everything was ok. And then it wasn't.

 

Med History

11/2009- 50 mg Zoloft (1st ad ever) in combo w/.50 xanax for 2 weeks then use xanax as needed (1st benzo ever)

9 days on Zoloft, I was awake for 9 days straight C/T Zoloft

11/2009- trazadone to sleep for 2 weeks c/t Trazadone

12/2009 start 10 mg Lexapro w/ Xanax as needed

5/2010-3 week taper off lexapro

9/2010? back to Lexapro 10 mg after 5 or 6 weeks c/t leapro

12/2010-10mg paxil

5/2011-6 week paxil taper

8/2011 5mg lexapro

last lexapro pill January 7 2012

all this as per doc orders Thanks Doc!

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  • Administrator

Thanks for inaugurating our recovery story collection, Whatever!

 

(I've closed your Intro topic Whatever: Quit Six Meds Cold Turkey and Lived to Tell About It so you don't feel you have to post in both.)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I find hope in your story. I have the utmost respect for you and to see such a strong will is inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing! I am also in New York...May I ask what part you live in....

 

Hudson Valley. What about you?

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you so much. I appreciate you for giving me & all of us hope for recovery.

Dec 2004 - Put on Zoloft after having a panic attack from the Birth Control Ortho Evra Patch (the doctors thought I was completely insane when I told them I think the Birth Control Patch is giving me anxiety/panic. Funny how they tell you NOW that Birth Control can indeed cause anxiety) Started at 25mg, increased to 50 mg and 100 mg in 2007. They made me too sleepy so decreased back to 50mg until 2009. Reduced to 25 mg in 2010.

Oct 2010 - Decided to come off Zoloft to try and have children. Didn't know anything about tapering because apparently, my doctor didn't know about it either. WDs included heart palpitations, dizziness, tinnitus etc. Decided to go back on Zoloft within 2 weeks of stopping.

January 2011 - Knowing a little more about tapering, I decided to stop taking taking Zoloft with my doctors help again. She told me to hurry and taper in 4 weeks because the tinnitus could become permanent. I thought this was too fast so I took another month to taper.

March 30, 2011 - Last Zoloft pill.

Had a little dizziness & sadness, but felt fine until Aug 2011 after a relative died.

Since then symptoms include brain shivers, migraine headaches on right side of head, warm/hot sensations on right side of head and ears, internal vibrations, tremor, muscle twitches, strange sensations in right side of head, anxiety, nervousness, sadness, disconnected, depersonalization, numbness on left side of body at times, neck pain, muscle/rib cage pains,  just don't feel like myself :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for writing this for us.

 

Lots of similarities: Weight gain ~ PTSD ~ I don't know if I have a ruined job history, or maybe it do.

 

In 2010 I had to stop making payments on 3 charge cards. Discover was not at all willing to negotiate. The other two were. I didn't pay for one month and they contacted me and told me they would cut the bill in half, however, I had to make 4 payments and close the account. I did. I had to take money out of my savings, but I did it. That was a big hit financially.

 

As a result it affected my credit score. Can you please give me the name of the organization you used? I am still paying Discover and the monthly payment are low now.

 

You were focused and stood up for yourself in spite of the WD. Good for you:)

 

The job history...I may start another post. Don't want to take away from what you presented to us.

 

Happy for you and your Mom...

 

Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Hi Nikki:

 

I used this forum:

 

http://creditboards.com/forums/index.php?act=idx

 

It is a self help forum. Places that offer to fix your credit are scams.

 

I did utilize a lawyer, for some of it, but that is only because I good grounds for a lawsuit against the reporting agencies, And they responded in my favor when we threatened to sue.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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meistersinger

Thanks for writing this for us.

 

Lots of similarities: Weight gain ~ PTSD ~ I don't know if I have a ruined job history, or maybe it do.

 

In 2010 I had to stop making payments on 3 charge cards. Discover was not at all willing to negotiate. The other two were. I didn't pay for one month and they contacted me and told me they would cut the bill in half, however, I had to make 4 payments and close the account. I did. I had to take money out of my savings, but I did it. That was a big hit financially.

 

As a result it affected my credit score. Can you please give me the name of the organization you used? I am still paying Discover and the monthly payment are low now.

 

You were focused and stood up for yourself in spite of the WD. Good for you:)

 

The job history...I may start another post. Don't want to take away from what you presented to us.

 

Happy for you and your Mom...

 

Hugs

 

Geez, I wish the credit card companies would have done that for me. When I first ran into financial trouble, they all essentially told me go to hell. Ditto for my car loan (I called then and demanded they take the car, since I could no longer afford the payments. You wouldn't believe the language I used to force them to come get the car.). Of course, it's all my fault that I would go on a spending spree when I was manic...

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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What cracks me up is that I paid off the cards in four payment. $4,000 each. Total $8,000. So here I made such huge payments and they gave me a bad rating. I never really missed a payment that one month before they contacted me I sent them $25 with a letter explaining that I lost my job and could not make large monthly payments, but I could afford to make payments not exceeding $25. They wouldn't here of it.

 

And the government bailed them out....Crazy.

 

I have been issued other credit cards but the limit is low with the exception of American Express.

 

The banks are as bad as the Pharmaceutical Companies.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Whatever...

 

Read your post again this morning and will continue to read it when I need a boost...

 

Thank you so much. You are a very, very strong person to have endured a WD like that. Your life did come together:)

 

Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Nikki:

 

Thank you so much Nikki. It means a lot to hear that.

 

I wish you the best in your recovery. I was 38 when I quit drugs and spent my early 40's in recovery, I realize we are close in age, it is difficult when these drugs impair you at a time in life when you are faced with some of the biggest realities and decisions one has to make.

 

Stay in the fight, I believe in you.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Barbarannamated

Your page is like the Neuroemotion thread .... keep reminding myself 1) the emotions are neurointensified and 2) it IS possible to regain a life!

Thanks Whatever!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 2 months later...

Whatever , thats fantastic news and thank you for sharing, here's to many more happy years drug free, i wish you all the best - you deserve it xx

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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  • 1 month later...

Whatever, i am new here so i hope you dont mind if i ask you some questions? If so, please forgive me.

 

1.) My biggest problem is depersonalisation and derealisation. I have it very sever. like i am only two eyes in the world. Like the world is 2d,..like i am not in this body or i dont recognize myself in the mirror. Its very scary. I am surprised that you can drop so many drugs at once cold turkey and dont have dp/dr. Or did you find a way out of it?

 

2.) You have off course a truly remarkable recovering story. But when i read these stories i always get a bit sad. And i hope you dont take this the wrong way cause i mean it sincere. But you had the worst WD ever; but you didnt have a major problem (an original disorder that brought you to meds) to return to. You had mild depression if i understand your other thread correctly. So i soooooooo much like to get hope from your story. But i then get sad cause i realize that wd is 50% of mine problem. I had a big anxiety disorder with massive social anxiety and agoraphobia (didnt speak, didnt leave the house) before i started this drug for so many years. But it off course just comes back and makes me hopeless.

Did you have any problems at all with dealing with yourself, your issues,..next to wd?

 

3.) if i read your story i see you worked out, you slept in a shelter, you worked in soupkitchen. But how did you do that? I am so scared. So at the end of my nerves. Leaving my house to get the mail is a days work. I am terrified when i see a spider, hear a sudden sound or the wind blow. I am so burned out. How were you able to do all that stuff in this condition?

 

 

ABOVE all;..thanks for your story. I learned from it. Thanks

1997-1999 = Paxil 20 mg

2002- may 2010 = Paxil 20 mg

june 2010-oct 2011= Paxil 15 mg

nov 2011-may 2012= Lexapro 20 mg

Off medication May 2012

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Remy I believe that if you read through the entire thread many of the questions that you asked, I have answered.

 

Of course what I went through is sad. It is terribly sad and terrifying. And for many, many years I lived with a combination of sadness and anger in the pit of my heart and I trusted no one. Even writing that statement brings tears to my eyes, but it is part of my life story. When things go bad in life some of us just kick into survilalist mode. I am one of those people. I just centered my thoughts on what I needed to do to get through the horrible situations as opposed to wallowing into what was happening to me. When all had settled and I was in safe place, I paid the price of stuffing those emotions and had to spend many years healing the emotional wreckage that I ignored to get through to a place of safety.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

This is absolutely amazing. But obviously not to be recommended!! I tried cold turkey but it totally crippled me and with two children I just couldn't put them and my husband through it for months/years on end, I'm sure like you I would've ended up losing so much.

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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I appreciate you taking the time to read my journey. You are correct, obviously I am not endorsing employing a CT approach. In fact, I think it serves as a strong warning sign as why not go CT.

 

If anything, I want those who read my story to understand that during this difficult road, psycholocal attitude is extremely important. You have to fight to get through such an orderel. Just as in war, you cannot predict what lurks ahead, but you can committ yourself that it is me that will win and survive and not the enemy (in this case pmeds, incompetent doctors).

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Reading your Intro and Success stories was the reason I joined this site. You faced a horrible situation head-on and still kept going through unbelievable odds. It showed others it can be done. Thank you.

Unable at this time to correspond by private message.

 

Link to my Introduction thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2477-aria-my-psych-journey/

Reading my psychiatric records: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5466-drugged-crazy-reading-my-psychiatric-records/

My Success Story is listed under "Aria's Recovery".

 

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  • 1 year later...

Whatever you quit all this in 2002 10 years of healing from your quit time to when you wrote this.  You obviously consider yourself healed when you wrote this.  I am amazed at your clarity and strength. Congratulations. I am amazed how well you and quickly you healed I do suspect perhaps it is like child birth and the pain of it dims in time :) (just a thought) . I am curious if in some way some of the drugs were protective in keeping the damage from other drugs lower...  I know it sounds silly coming from me.  I like to know things sometimes and am curious about this. 

I will not say I know what all your drugs do in the brain but when I have a good day I could look it all up. Do you recall what the doses of you medication were and how long you took each drug. 

will make myself a list here

Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine 

Could you give dosage and how long you were on each drug.. will give reasons to follow. 

 

Yes I am seeking a better understanding I have a relative who is polydrugged and tho I know he suffers I find it really hard to believe he can maintain the amount of drugs he takes as long as he has without becoming ill. From your list I see a few that he takes. It just hit my head do some of these drugs protect his body from some of the side effects of the other drugs he is on.  Not that I will get an answer to this by your answering my question but this is what I was thinking every body thinks he is on too many drugs for too long to ever be without them.  And the number of pills he is on scares the crap out of me so in the past few years I have stopped suggesting he try to get off anything as I joined the team of he could not possibly cope.  Now I read your story and think maybe he could...just maybe

 

Not sure but it is something to think about. Previously my thought was he would taper off one at a time and he would not live long enough to get off them all and get any clarity of mind back at all. Still may be exactly the same... hard to tell as I have no Chrystal ball.  One year ago his doctor cut his effexor in half and he is back to 150 that is just one of his drugs. I think he has been suffering from that drop for a year now and many other drugs have been added and tried.

Thanks for being here you make it look easy or possible at least thank you for that it is important.  

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 1 year later...
reachingforthestars

Whatever, Thank you for sharing! How long were you on psy meds before you CT?

Citalopram 40mg from 2003-2015

Jan 2015 started tapering first dropped to 35mgFeb 30mg, March 25mgApril 20mg, May 17,5mg, June 15mgJuly 12,5mg, Aug 12,5mg,

Sep 0mg for 5 days because of stomac flu and after I raised to 7,5mg. All the symptoms of acute WD shaking, diarrhea, vomiting, barely could walk ect. Still didn't realize that it wasn't only stomac flu but I was also going through WD.

Oct 2,5mg and crashed again badly and quickly raised to 4mg. It was then when I knew my symptoms were due to WD.

Then in November after a month holding on 4mg raised to 5mg due to muscle weakness and had a VERY BAD reaction to reinstatement: akathisia(lasted for one or two weeks), insomnia, anhedonia... Drop quicly back to 4mg, Dec 3mg

Jan 2016 2,6mg( in the middle of Jan after I had been on 2,6mg for a week I tried to updose to 2,8mg and immediately had bad reaction to it: akathisia for a day, andehonia got worse. The next day dropped back to 2,6mg), Feb 2,4mg( a new symptom PGAD lasted 24/7 for 2 months after that on and off), March 2,4mg, April 2,3mg, May 2,2mg, June 2,1mg, July 2,0mg( Pgad almost nonexisting, sleeping pretty good, still some anhedonia but there has been a lot of gradual progress), Aug 1,97mg-1,89mg, Sep 1,88mg-1,49mg, Oct 1,48mg- 1,70mg,

Nov 0,65mg- current dose 0,5mg

 

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  • 3 months later...

Hello everyone! Thank you for replying to my thread. I'm back.

 

Here is a brief story of what I went through.

 

In 2012 I took a job which looked promising, AT FIRST. I was a Manager of IT Projects. But quickly this turned into a nightmare. 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. The woman who I worked for was demanding, to say the least. I quickly learned that everyone hated her. I had migraines everyday. One day, I had asked to leave one hour early. She fired me.

 

I WAS HAPPY!

 

Then came ankle surgery. It took eight months to heal. I couldn't drive for three months and had to take the bus to Physical Therapy. After three months of PT, I quit although I needed more. I had a consultation with my MD. He agreed with me and told me that I cannot do cardio, but I could weight lift all I wanted - except for ankle raises. So I joined a local gym and went there everday.

 

In 2014 I had a stroke. It was so bad they didn't think I would live or if I lived I wouldn't have the quality of life. I recovered 95% percent. I was hospitalized for two months, the second month I went into a rehabilitation hospital. I entered not knowing where I lived, couldn't identify objects, couldn't speak properly. I left walking, talking, they were anazed by my successful recovery.

 

There were many reasons that I had a stroke. But the number one reason is my "Mother". If you read what I wrote, I said we best friends.

 

Well, I learned that she was a pathological liar. She was nice to my face, but as soon as I left she said vicious lies about me. She advocated that I should divorce my Husband. She thought that if I were divorced, I would get the house and she can move in with me. I discovered this one month before I had the stroke. My "Mother" is the type of people who makes friends easily. But then she decides that there is something wrong with them. I doubt there is a resident of her apartment complex that likes her. She would befriend one of them and then one month later unfriend them. Also, she is an alcoholic and abuzer of Xanax.

 

I stopped talking to her officially when I was in the hospital. My Husband told me he had two conversations with her, to let her know my status. Both conversations contradicted one another. In one she said I was drug dealer. And she went as far as calling my ballet studio to let them know I had a stroke (I later learned). I am not a drug dealer.

 

During my hospitalization at the rehab center I told my Husband never to call her again. She knew I was at the rehab center and she tried calling me, but she didn't have the HIPPA number. Which is just a number where you can screen calls.

 

Because of my "Mother" who advised me to seek

psychiatristic help 14 years ago. I hold her responsible for what I went through. Yes, I take personal responsibility for what happened because I listened to the psychiatrist for five years. But, she was the person who suggested it in the first place. It is funny, because we had the same psychiatrist and she went on and on at how good he was and then one day he was evil.

 

The only family member I keep in touch with it my Aunt. She lived with my Mother and the same thing happened to her. They were friends since childhood. But when she was in her 70's when my Mother invited her to live with her. After six months she said the same thing she says about me. My Aunt is the most loving person you will ever meet. If it weren't for her as I was growing up, and the fact that I spent most of my time in ballet class - I would not be the brave person

I became.

 

So I am back, and I don't want anyone here to go what I went through. Anyone who is struggling to get off the drugs you or your loved one was put on, I am here.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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  • Administrator

That is amazing, Whatever. I wondered what had happened to you. Welcome back!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Administrator

Whatever, you are incredible. I read your Success Story and went back and read your Intro. Your story of survival is profound. 

 

Your story gives me so much hope and something to hold onto. Thank you. 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Awesome story . Has the fatigue decreased if so how long do you think it took for it to go away ?

Xanax PRN ( 1/2 of .25mg approximately 2-3 a month when needed ) since May 2015

In April 2016 started birth control and in my opinion it triggered anxiety for almost a week straight and took 1/2 .25mg Xanax everyday for that week ( never had taken that many in a row before )

Saw the family MD and gave me Prozac 20 mg.

took it for 6 days and could not handle the side effects and had to stop working

Went back to the dr on the 7 day and told me to stop CT . I told him that I was scared to stop so suddenly so he gave me 10mg to take to see if the side effects decreased

Took the 10mg that night and the next day felt so much worse . After that did take anything any more except and antibiotic due to UTI

It's been almost 7 weeks and I have a lot of weakness ( comes and goes) anxiety , cortisol urges at night and worse in the morning which usually lessens throughout the day , tinnitus , heavy leg feeling , fatigue and burning skin mostly my left arm, face and neck mainly when I fee the cortisol surges .

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  • 1 year later...

Dunno if you're still visiting SA but your whole story is inspirational to me. I'm 27 now. Two years ago I lost everything and also did put on a lot of weight too. I'm a rider but can't do that anymore since my body is wrecked right now. I'm nowhere near healthy as I went a bit overboard with everything. If you could get your life back, maybe I can too. 

Citalopram (Sepram): 2005 10mg, 2008 20mg, 2010 30mg, 2011 20mg, tapered 2012 for two months quit in August 2012, restarted Oct 2012 with 10mg, January 2013 20mg, February 2014 40mg, tapered in August 2014, quit in December 2014

Suprium: Oct 2012 50mg, cold turkey after one month, December 2015 50mg, quit March 2016

Xanax: Oct 2015 2mg used it when needed, quit November 2015

Opamox: January 2016 15mg 3x day, tapered in March 2016, quit April 2016

Tenox: 3 weeks in February 2016 cold turkey

Lyrica: One month in Spring 2016 cold turkey

Abilify: 2 weeks in Spring 2016 cold turkey

Mirtazapine: June 2016 - mid April 2017 cold turkey

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  • 1 year later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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