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Hannahe: Leean's daughter - tapered Wellbutrin now on Buspar

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Altostrata
23 hours ago, Hannahe said:

I live 15 minutes out of town in the country 

 

15 minutes walking or driving? Do you have a bike? Are there buses?

 

You need to get out and have more activities so you're not distressed by a twitch in your arm. This will also "tune up" your nervous system so it's calmer and not so reactive. Only you can make this happen, Hannah.

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Hannahe
6 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

15 minutes walking or driving? Do you have a bike? Are there buses?

 

You need to get out and have more activities so you're not distressed by a twitch in your arm. This will also "tune up" your nervous system so it's calmer and not so reactive. Only you can make this happen, Hannah.

15 minutes driving. Isn't 6 months in recovery still early to try to go out and do things? I’m very overstimulated by a lot of things. 

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Altostrata

No, you need to get out and do things throughout recovery. Staying indoors and watching Netflix is not enough activity to keep your nervous system tuned up. Your body and nervous system need activity.

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Hannahe
43 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

No, you need to get out and do things throughout recovery. Staying indoors and watching Netflix is not enough activity to keep your nervous system tuned up. Your body and nervous system need activity.

Every time I leave the house I freak out and the next day symptoms are worse. I try to be outside as much as I can when it’s nice though. 

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Altostrata

Hannah, you need to be able to function out in the world. Otherwise, you're looking at a future as a psychiatric patient.

 

Think about it. Do you want that? Only you can decide if this is your future.

 

If you don't want it, you must learn how to get out, do things, grow as a person. Only you can do this. Nobody can put it it in a pill for you.

 

 

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GonnaBeOk

Hannah, I’m about a year out of a CT from many years of Prozac and I have every horrible and horrific symptom you could imagine. I have meltdowns a lot and am a decent hot mess. But, I just wanted to encourage you about the walking/activity: I know how hard it is when you feel so awful. I can’t be in public either, can’t drive anymore yet, panic attacks, terror,....all that. But, I did start walking a few weeks ago. My doctor said to do half hour a day. I thought “I can’t do that.” Well, I’m doing it. I call it grandma walking because it’s slow👵🏼. Nothing productive and the purpose is *not* to raise the heart rate. Just the motion of walking helps the nervous system. He said no hills (because of nervous system instability), so my husband drives me to a flat area 2 blocks away 😆, we walk for 15 minutes, and then turn around and walk 15 minutes  back to the car.

 

I have to keep it slow and I have to do it when it’s not too warm (Its really hot in the summer in my town), otherwise it aggravates my symptoms. I’d encourage you to take an easy stroll in your neighborhood (with your mom if you can—it’s easier for me when my husband encourages me and comes with me. But I have gone by myself too). Surprisingly, I also wave and say hi to other walkers and it doesn’t freak me out. In fact I often say to myself: “ wow, I just waved and faked a smile to that person!” Lol. 

 

Start with 15 minutes maybe. Work up to more and more over time as you can, but keep it really easy and at a pace that’s comfortable for you. I can’t do anything that raises my heart rate, but I can walk at a slow pace. I used to be incredibly active and fit, but for now all I’ve got is this....so, slow it is.

 

You will find as time goes on that your symptoms will die down. I’ve noticed over the last several weeks that my horrific symptoms have lessened a very small bit in intensity (This started even before I started walking) which is giving me some hope that I did not have before. It’s still hell, and it’s still hard, but I’m seeing some forward motion and you will too!

 

Walking can only help you in your recovery. But listen to your body and do only what is comfortable and tolerable. (I even brought Kleenex once and cried under my sunglasses and hat while I was walking...but I still got that walk in!). In time, you will be able to do more. Baby steps. Sending big hugs! 

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Hannahe
19 minutes ago, GonnaBeOk said:

Hannah, I’m about a year out of a CT from many years of Prozac and I have every horrible and horrific symptom you could imagine. I have meltdowns a lot and am a decent hot mess. But, I just wanted to encourage you about the walking/activity: I know how hard it is when you feel so awful. I can’t be in public either, can’t drive anymore yet, panic attacks, terror,....all that. But, I did start walking a few weeks ago. My doctor said to do half hour a day. I thought “I can’t do that.” Well, I’m doing it. I call it grandma walking because it’s slow👵🏼. Nothing productive and the purpose is *not* to raise the heart rate. Just the motion of walking helps the nervous system. He said no hills (because of nervous system instability), so my husband drives me to a flat area 2 blocks away 😆, we walk for 15 minutes, and then turn around and walk 15 minutes  back to the car.

 

I have to keep it slow and I have to do it when it’s not too warm (Its really hot in the summer in my town), otherwise it aggravates my symptoms. I’d encourage you to take an easy stroll in your neighborhood (with your mom if you can—it’s easier for me when my husband encourages me and comes with me. But I have gone by myself too). Surprisingly, I also wave and say hi to other walkers and it doesn’t freak me out. In fact I often say to myself: “ wow, I just waved and faked a smile to that person!” Lol. 

 

Start with 15 minutes maybe. Work up to more and more over time as you can, but keep it really easy and at a pace that’s comfortable for you. I can’t do anything that raises my heart rate, but I can walk at a slow pace. I used to be incredibly active and fit, but for now all I’ve got is this....so, slow it is.

 

You will find as time goes on that your symptoms will die down. I’ve noticed over the last several weeks that my horrific symptoms have lessened a very small bit in intensity (This started even before I started walking) which is giving me some hope that I did not have before. It’s still hell, and it’s still hard, but I’m seeing some forward motion and you will too!

 

Walking can only help you in your recovery. But listen to your body and do only what is comfortable and tolerable. (I even brought Kleenex once and cried under my sunglasses and hat while I was walking...but I still got that walk in!). In time, you will be able to do more. Baby steps. Sending big hugs! 

Thank you for the response. I am glad you are seeing improvements. I’m about 6 months out from crashing. I have been walking more. Some days it has been too much. As we speak I feel the acute withdrawals creeping back in (dizziness/off balance.) but as soon as I get a window or some time where symptoms are not as severe, it is my plan to walk and do my best at keeping it up. 🙂 

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Hannahe
26 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Hannah, you need to be able to function out in the world. Otherwise, you're looking at a future as a psychiatric patient.

 

Think about it. Do you want that? Only you can decide if this is your future.

 

If you don't want it, you must learn how to get out, do things, grow as a person. Only you can do this. Nobody can put it it in a pill for you.

 

 

Thank you Alto... No I do not want that. I get out to the doctors and once in a while I’ve gone out to eat with my parents when symptoms were not as bad. I take walks down my road and I’ve gone to a friends twice and have had friends over a few times. I’ve gone to the grocery store with the help of someone quite a few times as well. Lately I feel just really bad though. Like the beginning all over again + major anxiety. probably because I dropped my daytime buspar. Idk if it was helping or not. It might of been though. I feel like a raw nerve. 

 

I know I need to push myself. When I have a window I usually go for walks, pre make all my smoothies and stuff them in the freezer, play with my dogs and if I’m okay enough go up town with my mom or someone. 

 

I honestly felt like I was making progress getting around more the past couple months, but now I feel like I’m back to square one again. I know I gotta keep pushing though.

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bheb
On 7/4/2019 at 3:21 PM, Hannahe said:

There are literally people online who are saying they have had akathisia for ten plus years and are saying it can be permanent. What is that?! Is that nonsense? Akathisia is not a natural state. I understand you have to be more careful if you’ve had it in the past, but I’m starting to think maybe some of these people are full of **** 😡 sorry I had to rant some place. This is the type of stuff that makes people lose hope in their healing. 

 

I understand your fear. But as a person who has suffered from akathisia for a long period of time, it’s hurtful to be questioned as if we’re “full of ****.” I have no reason to lie about my experience. I very much wish it had not lasted as long as it has. 

 

Just because a symptom lasts for a long time, does not mean it’s any less real. That’s the kind of stuff we expect to hear from bad doctors...not from support communities.

 

It is rare for it to last a long time, so I wouldn’t worry so much just yet. If hearing about long term cases is upsetting you, than you should probably avoid some corners of the Internet. I know I have to. But people with long term cases aren’t the ones who should be questioned — instead we should put the blame on pharmaceutical companies and common practices that obscure meaningful research.

 

You’re right, akathisia is not a natural state. It’s drug induced and it is horrific. I wake up everyday in utter horror of the terrible agitated baseline I have to accept. I am shocked I’ve endured it this long...yet I have. I have my own coping tools. I don’t believe it is permanent. I believe we do not know enough yet. 

 

I am not going to share any more of my story because I know you want support and encouragement. Which I often try to provide (again, I don’t believe it is permanent. I’ve heard of cases in which people have healed after many years). But I just wanted to drop by and defend the people you mention. Don’t know exactly who they are, but I bet they aren’t full of ****. This stuff is too bad to make up.

 

Healing vibes to you,

 

bheb

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Hannahe
20 minutes ago, bheb said:

 

I understand your fear. But as a person who has suffered from akathisia for a long period of time, it’s hurtful to be questioned as if we’re “full of ****.” I have no reason to lie about my experience. I very much wish it had not lasted as long as it has. 

 

Just because a symptom lasts for a long time, does not mean it’s any less real. That’s the kind of stuff we expect to hear from bad doctors...not from support communities.

 

It is rare for it to last a long time, so I wouldn’t worry so much just yet. If hearing about long term cases is upsetting you, than you should probably avoid some corners of the Internet. I know I have to. But people with long term cases aren’t the ones who should be questioned — instead we should put the blame on pharmaceutical companies and common practices that obscure meaningful research.

 

You’re right, akathisia is not a natural state. It’s drug induced and it is horrific. I wake up everyday in utter horror of the terrible agitated baseline I have to accept. I am shocked I’ve endured it this long...yet I have. I have my own coping tools. I don’t believe it is permanent. I believe we do not know enough yet. 

 

I am not going to share any more of my story because I know you want support and encouragement. Which I often try to provide (again, I don’t believe it is permanent. I’ve heard of cases in which people have healed after many years). But I just wanted to drop by and defend the people you mention. Don’t know exactly who they are, but I bet they aren’t full of ****. This stuff is too bad to make up.

 

Healing vibes to you,

 

bheb

I am sorry you have been suffering this long. That’s terrible. I believe it when people say they are suffering, trust me. But for people to tell me “to err on the other side of caution and accept that it could be permanent” really upsets me. I cannot accept that this is my forever. It’s too too much! 

 

You’re right. I probably should avoid certain parts of the internet. It does trigger me. It’s a vicious cycle, because its honestly so hard to stay away from when I do need the support. 

 

Again I am sorry and did not mean to offend anyone going through this hell. 

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puthappinessfirst

Hannahe,

 

I would recommend muting the Living with Akathisia Facebook group if it triggers you this much. 

I myself have to take breaks from checking in on there. 

 

None of the people in that group are making up their experiences... I'm still a newbie in that group, but they've been nothing but kind and helpful to all new members. 

Some push the positive spin on healing and some are chronically ill that they feel it's better to be realistic about their own situations. 

Some do not want to give false hope. 

BUT none of us know what is permanent or not, we haven't lived long enough to know that. 

 

Do you have a patio or backyard or some kind of outdoor space that you can sit and relax in? 

A place where you can get sun and fresh air? 

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Hannahe
7 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Hannahe,

 

I would recommend muting the Living with Akathisia Facebook group if it triggers you this much. 

I myself have to take breaks from checking in on there. 

 

None of the people in that group are making up their experiences... I'm still a newbie in that group, but they've been nothing but kind and helpful to all new members. 

Some push the positive spin on healing and some are chronically ill that they feel it's better to be realistic about their own situations. 

Some do not want to give false hope. 

BUT none of us know what is permanent or not, we haven't lived long enough to know that. 

 

Do you have a patio or backyard or some kind of outdoor space that you can sit and relax in? 

A place where you can get sun and fresh air? 

I unfollowed it. I don’t believe anyone is making anything up at all. I know people are suffering.

 

In order for for me to get through this I HAVE to believe there is some way out or I mine as well say goodbye to everyone. What really triggered me was someone telling me to “err on the other side of caution because it could be permanent”. I can’t think that or else I’m just doomed. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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bheb
20 hours ago, Hannahe said:

I am sorry you have been suffering this long. That’s terrible. I believe it when people say they are suffering, trust me. But for people to tell me “to err on the other side of caution and accept that it could be permanent” really upsets me. I cannot accept that this is my forever. It’s too too much! 

 

You’re right. I probably should avoid certain parts of the internet. It does trigger me. It’s a vicious cycle, because its honestly so hard to stay away from when I do need the support. 

 

Again I am sorry and did not mean to offend anyone going through this hell. 

No it’s okay! I’ve been there too — it’s easier to cope if we can discredit the horror stories.

 

And yeah do not believe the permanence stuff. One because there’s no proof and two because by believing it you can actually hinder your progress! I’ve come to believe that positive thinking actually can change the brain in many ways. Easier said than done of course. 

 

I get a pit in my stomach any time someone says they have it permanently. I also kinda get irrationally frustrated with the person even if they’re struggling and just trying to practice a kind of acceptance of the worst. They can believe that for themselves but it doesn’t help anyone else as long as there’s no evidence...so that’s why I’ve tried to avoid certain places (reddit for example has lots of people saying they’ve got it permanently)

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Hannahe
9 minutes ago, bheb said:

No it’s okay! I’ve been there too — it’s easier to cope if we can discredit the horror stories.

 

And yeah do not believe the permanence stuff. One because there’s no proof and two because by believing it you can actually hinder your progress! I’ve come to believe that positive thinking actually can change the brain in many ways. Easier said than done of course. 

 

I get a pit in my stomach any time someone says they have it permanently. I also kinda get irrationally frustrated with the person even if they’re struggling and just trying to practice a kind of acceptance of the worst. They can believe that for themselves but it doesn’t help anyone else as long as there’s no evidence...so that’s why I’ve tried to avoid certain places (reddit for example has lots of people saying they’ve got it permanently)

Yes that’s exactly what made me so frustrated. I can’t think to live like this forever, it’s pure torture. I would never say that to anyone else.. that it’s permanent or it might be best to think of it that way... Just no. We need hope in order to move forward. 

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Altostrata

Yes, Hannah, there is something you can do. Get out and about, change the channel with activities in the real world.

 

Do you like animals? Find something you can do with animals. Do people in your neighborhood need anyone to do cat-sitting or dog-sitting when they go away?

 

Stop looking at the Internet for signs that you are doomed. The Internet is very big, it will confirm whatever you expect it to confirm.

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Hannahe
6 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, Hannah, there is something you can do. Get out and about, change the channel with activities in the real world.

 

Do you like animals? Find something you can do with animals. Do people in your neighborhood need anyone to do cat-sitting or dog-sitting when they go away?

 

Stop looking at the Internet for signs that you are doomed. The Internet is very big, it will confirm whatever you expect it to confirm.

I have animals. I hang out with them. I know I need to stop searching. 

 

The agitation I’m having is making me feel like I’m drowning. It’s terrible. 

 

Im trying to distract myself with a fairy garden 

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Hannahe

Once someone gets dyskinesia, is that it? Are they more than likely stuck with it, or does it resolve itself in some cases? 

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ChessieCat

From tardive-dyskinesia-or-involuntary-movements

 

On 2/7/2013 at 5:35 AM, Altostrata said:

Tardive dyskinesia may occur as a psychiatric drug withdrawal symptom.

 

It means drug-related involuntary movements, such as facial tics, tongue movements, twitching, or other movements.

 

All antipsychotics have a possible adverse effect of tardive dyskinesia. Tardive dyskinesia may occur while you're taking the drug or after you go off it ("tardive" means "delayed").

 

TD also occurs more rarely as an adverse effect from antidepressants and antidepressant withdrawal.

 

There is no defined treatment for TD, although doctors will experiment with various drugs though to correct the "chemical imbalance" responsible for this condition. (It is thought to be related to dopamine dysregulation.)

 

For many people, TD symptoms go away on their own. We have people here who developed TD in withdrawal whose TD symptoms eventually went away.

 

 

I suggest you check out WiggleIt's and UnfoldingSky's posts in that topic.  Here a one from each member as an example:

 

On 2/15/2019 at 8:30 AM, WiggleIt said:

My case is one piece of proof of improvement, and UnfoldingSky is another.  There are more than just the two of us who have improved from twitching, but I'm giving you me and UnfoldingSky's names because we happened to talk to each other a LOT when we were going through it.  UnfoldingSky read my posts all the time and never failed to encourage me.  There were so many times when I didn't believe USky, but I can now safely say that USky was right about my improvement.  Betterment definitely happened.

IMO, the best coping strategies when the twitches happen are to turn on the TV, get a small snack and a drink of water, and just lay back and rest.  That's how I dealt with it, and I don't even care that I was a bed-potato.

My heating pad would also soothe me!  

 

On 11/29/2014 at 2:12 PM, UnfoldingSky said:

One more point, the very few symptoms I have on occasion now are quite rare and so mild you wouldn't even know it was happening if you met me.  I only ever get the odd twitch now and they are not obvious.  I have also found that stress can really exacerbate things--however, this past summer when under stress I still only very rarely had symptoms.  It has arrived at a point where I have managed at times to even forget I ever had them. 

 

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Hannahe
47 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

From tardive-dyskinesia-or-involuntary-movements

 

 

 

I suggest you check out WiggleIt's and UnfoldingSky's posts in that topic.  Here a one from each member as an example:

 

 

 

Thank you. I appreciate the posts. 

 

I feel so so hopeless. Like this will never end. I know that’s not the case, but going on like this is so beyond difficult. I’m just at a point where I want to give up. 

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Altostrata

How have your symptoms changed over the last 2 months?

 

When are you going to see your therapist again?

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Hannahe
14 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How have your symptoms changed over the last 2 months?

 

When are you going to see your therapist again?

Breathing problems seem to have faded and agitation/akathisia seem to have taken its place. I also don’t seem to be noticing heart palpitations as much. I had a really bad day of aka and it went away. I still feel like I’m being plugged into a socket every now and again. I also feel as if some symptoms are creeping back up. Once in a while I will still get dizzy/off balance and nausea came back for weeks and left again. Haven’t felt adrenaline run through my body in a few weeks. I started eating strawberries and taking a low dose of vitamin c though. I feel as if I’m going to lose control of all my limbs and sometimes I feel like I’m gonna swallow my tongue. The limbs and tongue thing is new as well. 

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Hannahe
25 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How have your symptoms changed over the last 2 months?

 

When are you going to see your therapist again?

I seem to be getting more twitches. They’re not really noticeable. Most are internal. The ones that are not often happen when I’m falling asleep or sometimes wake me Up when I am sleeping. 

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Altostrata

Those kinds of twitches when you're falling asleep are not serious. Many normal people have them.

 

Hannah, online peer support can't help you with those worries. I don't believe they are symptoms from the cold turkey. You need real-life coaching about managing them. Please start talking to your therapist again.

 

The next time you post, I want to hear you've made an appointment with your therapist and you're going to see him or her regularly.

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Hannahe
20 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Those kinds of twitches when you're falling asleep are not serious. Many normal people have them.

 

Hannah, online peer support can't help you with those worries. I don't believe they are symptoms from the cold turkey. You need real-life coaching about managing them. Please start talking to your therapist again.

 

The next time you post, I want to hear you've made an appointment with your therapist and you're going to see him or her regularly.

Did you get the other post before that one?

 

I am not well enough to drive and I don’t have anyone to take me to any appointments. I haven’t driven in months and I have a hard time just going out when someone else is driving (but I do and am trying). I also have a hard time even thinking about going back to the place that did this to me, which is where the therapist I was seeing is at. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of those around here either. I’m not in a city. 

 

Im not really worried about the twitches. They don’t hurt, but I am worried about the agitation/akathisia. When that comes on, it’s pure hell and it’s making me want to drown just thinking it can come back any minute.

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Shep
9 hours ago, Hannahe said:

I am not well enough to drive and I don’t have anyone to take me to any appointments.

 

That's true for many members, but there's a lot you can do using the internet. Let's focus on that now and when you've built up your non-drug coping skills, you can venture out. You mentioned going out with your parents and with friends, so it looks like you do have access to help if you need to get out to an appointment. 

 

But it will help to build up your non-drug coping skills. 

 

9 hours ago, Hannahe said:

Im not really worried about the twitches. They don’t hurt, but I am worried about the agitation/akathisia. When that comes on, it’s pure hell and it’s making me want to drown just thinking it can come back any minute.

 

Akathisia is difficult, but it's not going to hurt you. It will exhaust you at times, but learning not to attach your thoughts to the physical sensations will greatly reduce your stress. The worry about it coming back is called "second fear". 

 

Have you gone through Dr. Claire Weekes training on handling anxiety?

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - How To Recover From Anxiety

 

Some great podcasts. 

 

And this is a great short video on acceptance without adding "second fear":

 

Dr. Claire Weekes: How to accept the physical symptoms of nervous illness video (1.5 minutes)

 

And you can find loads more out there on YouTube by googling Dr. Claire Weekes. 

 

Dr.Claire Weekes - How to overcome Anxiety - (YouTube - 1 hour, 20 minutes)

 

This is a great article on "second fear":

 

The Anxiety Monster Feeds on Second Fear

 

And the author quotes Dr. Weekes:

 

Quote

Dr. Weekes advises this: watch the fear go up and down. Ride it like a roller coaster. As long as you don’t prolong it by adding second fear, you’ll be reining it in within five minutes–the length of time it takes for adrenaline to fade–give or take.

 

Learning breathing techniques can be helpful. Here are two:

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen video (4 minutes)

 

Sometimes it helps to visualize this in terms of a spiral. And there are some great ways to learn not to spiral. 

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

If you're having trouble, start off with learning to "change the channel":

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Another way to deal with "second fear" is to settle into a mode of acceptance.

 

Acceptance

 

This is all available to you without you having to leave your home.

 

Also, see:

 

Non-drug coping techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Please go through the links and read them and listen to the podcasts. I would bring in the two breathing techniques (the breathing space and the 4-7-8 breathing technique linked above) several times during the day. Set a reminder on your phone to listen to them and follow along. It can take awhile to reap the full benefit, but learning how to breathe in stressful situations is a great way to lower your stress and build up your resilience. 

 

Once you get your symptoms decreased enough that you can leave your home, you'll be able to access more help, should you need it. 

 

Keep in mind, these are the skills you're going to need to develop to live your life off these drugs. If you aren't able to do this, as Alto wrote, you'll need to seek in-person support.

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Hannahe
2 hours ago, Shep said:

 

That's true for many members, but there's a lot you can do using the internet. Let's focus on that now and when you've built up your non-drug coping skills, you can venture out. You mentioned going out with your parents and with friends, so it looks like you do have access to help if you need to get out to an appointment. 

 

But it will help to build up your non-drug coping skills. 

 

 

Akathisia is difficult, but it's not going to hurt you. It will exhaust you at times, but learning not to attach your thoughts to the physical sensations will greatly reduce your stress. The worry about it coming back is called "second fear". 

 

Have you gone through Dr. Claire Weekes training on handling anxiety?

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - How To Recover From Anxiety

 

Some great podcasts. 

 

And this is a great short video on acceptance without adding "second fear":

 

Dr. Claire Weekes: How to accept the physical symptoms of nervous illness video (1.5 minutes)

 

And you can find loads more out there on YouTube by googling Dr. Claire Weekes. 

 

Dr.Claire Weekes - How to overcome Anxiety - (YouTube - 1 hour, 20 minutes)

 

This is a great article on "second fear":

 

The Anxiety Monster Feeds on Second Fear

 

And the author quotes Dr. Weekes:

 

 

Learning breathing techniques can be helpful. Here are two:

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen video (4 minutes)

 

Sometimes it helps to visualize this in terms of a spiral. And there are some great ways to learn not to spiral. 

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

If you're having trouble, start off with learning to "change the channel":

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Another way to deal with "second fear" is to settle into a mode of acceptance.

 

Acceptance

 

This is all available to you without you having to leave your home.

 

Also, see:

 

Non-drug coping techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Please go through the links and read them and listen to the podcasts. I would bring in the two breathing techniques (the breathing space and the 4-7-8 breathing technique linked above) several times during the day. Set a reminder on your phone to listen to them and follow along. It can take awhile to reap the full benefit, but learning how to breathe in stressful situations is a great way to lower your stress and build up your resilience. 

 

Once you get your symptoms decreased enough that you can leave your home, you'll be able to access more help, should you need it. 

 

Keep in mind, these are the skills you're going to need to develop to live your life off these drugs. If you aren't able to do this, as Alto wrote, you'll need to seek in-person support.

Thank you. I appreciate the post 🙏🏻

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Hannahe
2 hours ago, Shep said:

 

That's true for many members, but there's a lot you can do using the internet. Let's focus on that now and when you've built up your non-drug coping skills, you can venture out. You mentioned going out with your parents and with friends, so it looks like you do have access to help if you need to get out to an appointment. 

 

But it will help to build up your non-drug coping skills. 

 

 

Akathisia is difficult, but it's not going to hurt you. It will exhaust you at times, but learning not to attach your thoughts to the physical sensations will greatly reduce your stress. The worry about it coming back is called "second fear". 

 

Have you gone through Dr. Claire Weekes training on handling anxiety?

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - How To Recover From Anxiety

 

Some great podcasts. 

 

And this is a great short video on acceptance without adding "second fear":

 

Dr. Claire Weekes: How to accept the physical symptoms of nervous illness video (1.5 minutes)

 

And you can find loads more out there on YouTube by googling Dr. Claire Weekes. 

 

Dr.Claire Weekes - How to overcome Anxiety - (YouTube - 1 hour, 20 minutes)

 

This is a great article on "second fear":

 

The Anxiety Monster Feeds on Second Fear

 

And the author quotes Dr. Weekes:

 

 

Learning breathing techniques can be helpful. Here are two:

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen video (4 minutes)

 

Sometimes it helps to visualize this in terms of a spiral. And there are some great ways to learn not to spiral. 

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

If you're having trouble, start off with learning to "change the channel":

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Another way to deal with "second fear" is to settle into a mode of acceptance.

 

Acceptance

 

This is all available to you without you having to leave your home.

 

Also, see:

 

Non-drug coping techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Please go through the links and read them and listen to the podcasts. I would bring in the two breathing techniques (the breathing space and the 4-7-8 breathing technique linked above) several times during the day. Set a reminder on your phone to listen to them and follow along. It can take awhile to reap the full benefit, but learning how to breathe in stressful situations is a great way to lower your stress and build up your resilience. 

 

Once you get your symptoms decreased enough that you can leave your home, you'll be able to access more help, should you need it. 

 

Keep in mind, these are the skills you're going to need to develop to live your life off these drugs. If you aren't able to do this, as Alto wrote, you'll need to seek in-person support.

You think I will heal from all this? And be able to live a normal life again even if I have akathisia? I still have meds to taper if I can eventually stabalize. 

 

I will I’ll look through all of these today. Thank you so much. 

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Shep
22 hours ago, Hannahe said:

You think I will heal from all this? And be able to live a normal life again even if I have akathisia? I still have meds to taper if I can eventually stabalize. 

 

Yes, I think you will. In fact, the majority of people DO heal and not only go onto live a normal life, but many have acquired the skills needed to live an extraordinary life. 

 

If you can learn what you need to learn to survive the brutality of the withdrawal experience, you'll take those skills with you for the rest of your life. That's why it's really important that you stay focused on learning the non-drug coping skills and not get drawn into the drama of "I'm not going to heal". 

 

And this ties into the concept of "negative neuroplasticity". Please work on strategies of coping because you are repeatedly wiring your brain to go into dark spaces. This can create negative neuroplasticity.

 

Norman Doidge - The Dark Side of Neuroplasticity video (2 minutes)

 

In order to stop these thoughts and to keep from re-wiring your brain in these kinds of dark thoughts, please go through all of the links provided in my last post and also, re-read your intro thread as other mods have left resources for you. 

 

I know it's hard to focus on anything when you are dealing with acute akathisia, so when it's too bad to do anything else, than find some distractions such as video games, watching movies, going for a walk, playing with a pet, coloring or painting, turning on some music and dancing, etc. to keep you occupied. You may not be able to emotionally connect, BUT  - and this is key - you are training your brain to go in a positive direction because you are not dwelling on the dark side. Your brain / body wants to heal. Give it every reason to expect that that's what's happening. 

 

This is what is meant by  "change the channel" and how not to go into "an emotional spiral". Again, if you can implement these techniques during withdrawal, you'll have built up the coping skills to master any stress that comes your way once you're off these drugs and no longer have drugs as your main coping strategy. 

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Hannahe
1 hour ago, Shep said:

More on neuroplasticity and how to use it to heal:

 

Healing from antidepressants. How to speed up the recovery process video (5 minutes)

 

Healing from antidepressants: The power of neuroplasticity video (7.5 minutes)

 

I really appreciate the videos and guidance. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻

 

I actually do not know where the akathisia came from. I believe I got it after my cold turkey, again with reinstatement and then when they gave me an IV of Haldol it got worse. It went away and then it came back. I don’t know if that matters though. 

 

I will I’ll do my best to try and look at things more positively. And I will watch these videos! 

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Hannahe
Posted (edited)

Topic title:  Exploding Head Syndrome (EPS)

 

Anyone experience this in WD? I have had small episodes throughout my life, but this has been intensified in WD to the point I will wake up screaming for help. 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title

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Hannahe

The neurologist I seen wants to do a ton of tests because he believes I may be having seizures. I don’t want to do any tests with contrast and therefore things have been pushed back. I don’t know if I even see a point in going to the doctors anymore. 

 

My symptoms seem to escalate around my monthly and I will still experience some symptoms that may be worrisome, but other than that things seem to have gotten better. 

 

At the beginning there were times I would get dizzy, confused, nauseous and stare off into space for a while. Then minutes later I could resume. 

 

Then there have been a couple episodes of eps where I have heard loud booms that have woken me up out of my sleep. I have had these throughout my life, but so much more intense now. The last time I woke up screaming for help, being confused with nausea, flicker vision and unexplained lights. 

 

It has has been a couple months or so since this last episode. I am just now thinking about these things to tell you guys. Should I be worried or just go on and hope things resolve? 

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puthappinessfirst

I think if the neuro wants to do some tests, go for it. It can't hurt. 

If you're staying away from contrast and more meds, then might as well get checked out. 

It's good to rule out anything super serious. 

 

An interesting/anecdotal story...

My mom's friend recently started taking Wellbutrin and occasional Xanax and a couple months later started acting weird. 

She would miss chunks of time and her family was starting to notice she was staring off/rambling about nonsense. 

She went to the neuro and they did lots of testing. 

Then they said she has epilepsy. Which is strange, because she never had these issues until meds. 

I think she's on anti seizures now, which are also given as mood stabilizers. 

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Hannahe
40 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

I think if the neuro wants to do some tests, go for it. It can't hurt. 

If you're staying away from contrast and more meds, then might as well get checked out. 

It's good to rule out anything super serious. 

 

An interesting/anecdotal story...

My mom's friend recently started taking Wellbutrin and occasional Xanax and a couple months later started acting weird. 

She would miss chunks of time and her family was starting to notice she was staring off/rambling about nonsense. 

She went to the neuro and they did lots of testing. 

Then they said she has epilepsy. Which is strange, because she never had these issues until meds. 

I think she's on anti seizures now, which are also given as mood stabilizers. 

I know Wellbutrin is very well known for causing seizures. If she was on it, it could be the culprit and not an actual medical condition. I wonder how she would do off all meds. 

 

They wont get back with me about doing anything without contrast, which is irritating. 

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Hannahe

Also, I’m pretty low in vitamin D and at the lower end in B12. I have had Akathisia on and off and very afraid to supplement anything other than what I am already doing. What would be a good way to go about trying to rise these levels? 

33A33913-D646-4158-BAD2-B009CB64462C.jpeg

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puthappinessfirst

I take vitamin D and have/had akathisia, it hasn't done me any harm.

My level was 12. Pretty low, and I was trying to get outside in the sun as much as possible. 

The only advice I got was to take it during the day. I take mine in the morning. 

No harm so far. 

 

B12 is trickier, maybe try a liquid b12 supplement so you can control dose vs a pill. 

Just in case it ramps you up.

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