☼ getofflex: weaning of Lexapro

[getofflex]

3 hours ago, Heath said:

I have been in a little wave off and on for a month and not sleeping well also. Waking at 2 or 3 or 4 and heart beating in my neck . I try to distract by reading or online suduko. 

The weather changes affect me also. It has been crazy here in the south too.

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this too.  If this happens again, I may get out of bed, and walk around the house downstairs for a while, perhaps that will settle me down, and help burn off some of the cortisol.  

 

2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Sending you healing vibes. So sorry to hear about your sleep deteriorating, its such a bad feeling and connects to so many things on how we feel in our daily lives.

Thanks Hanna.  Yes, it sure does affect the day we have.  If I was just tired, that's one thing, but I am exhausted, and yet agitated and restless at the same time, which is just very uncomfortable.  I keep telling myself, this too shall pass. 

 

2 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Thank you also for all the hard work you do in here, its priceless. But never forget to put yourself number one. You will come out of this, I am sure.

Thanks for the appreciation and reassurance.  

 

I realize I've had sleep issues all my life, so that may just be part of my life post drugs as well.  

 

I spent a couple of hours resting this afternoon, and I feel much more relaxed now, thankfully. Acceptance, going with the flow, getting out of the way and letting my system do whatever it needs to do.  Relaxing music, deep breathing, prayer, walking outside.  

Edited March 6, 2023 by getofflex

[brassmonkey]

The post "0" experience is still not talked about enough for us to really understand it, but what you are going through is seems to be pretty common. This does sound like a wave of sorts. The waves in my article are more about intense anxiety and the like, but changes in sleep patterns do happen.

 

Sleep patterns take a long time to stabilize and may end up being different from the ones you are used to. I would say I was around three years post "0" by the time mine finally settled down. I don't think they have changed all that much, but then again, they were pretty screwed up for years before I tapered. I still adhere to the idea of "whenever, wherever" which really helps.

 

As long as the bird walks are not strenuous, I think getting out in nature is more important. Don't push but try to enjoy every minute. It's been so cold and rainy here for weeks I really miss getting outside, at least we have a small feeder by the family room window, so the birds are practically inside with us. Off to India in a few days so there will be a lot of nature to enjoy.

[mstimc]

Gettoflex, speaking as someone who's been off the meds since 2009, I'll say that there are times when I still deal with runaway thoughts and feelings. That's just part of the way I'm made.  But just as diabetics manage their condition with diet and insulin, we manage it with coping skills and positive practices. And just as people with chronic conditions can lead happy and meaningful lives, so can we.  One of the particular curses of anxiety and depression is that they try to convince us there's something wrong with us and there always will be.  We're not flawed or failures.  We just have different brain wiring than other people.  In many ways we're far stronger than others because we deal with this every day and we work through it.  You are storng!

[Shep]

@getofflexAs another post-zero person, I'll add that yes, waves do happen at this stage.  That's perfectly normal. And you are still very early in the healing process at about 8 months off. 

 

You mention a number of stressors that could be contributing. Sometimes that leads us to not breathe fully, to go into thought spirals, to maybe forget to stay hydrated or eat on schedule. Any of these things. Or maybe none of these things - it could just be a wave, something that would have happened regardless of any external stressors.  

 

If you can, try to say "thank you" to the wave - it's providing an opportunity to practice the non-drug coping skills that got you through your taper. Being forced to bring in these skills periodically over the next couple of years as you see more healing will make you a sage at these skills. The obstacle course of withdrawal and recovery is a great training ground for resilience. 

 

It's hard, I know. Do as much self care as you can knowing that another wave down is getting you closer to the healing finish line. 

[getofflex]

Shep, thanks so much for weighing in on this.  I think my expectations were too high.  I assumed that since I took 2 years to get off the last 0.25 mg of Lexpro, that it would be a breeze once I jumped off.  I'm correcting my expectations - in fact, I'm letting go of them altogether.  Acceptance of whatever comes is the key.  I'll just take this day by day with no expectations.  I hear you about being grateful for the difficulties, because they cause us to work harder on our non drug skills, which I'm doing.  

 

I did sleep better last night, and feel rested this morning.  I had quality non drug sleep, which is much better than 8 hours of drug induced sleep.  I'm deeply grateful for that.  

 

This is truly an amazing community.  Thank you everyone for the support, and the suggestions.  I feel very reassured, and hopeful.  

Edited March 7, 2023 by getofflex

[LostInCanada]

Sending ♥️ and 🙏. This is not an easy path. I appreciate you, your time, your dedication, your help and your journey.

[getofflex]

I have a good report today.  I had a whole month of feeling almost normal!  It was wonderful.  I've been enjoying birding, as well as getting my art website up and running!  Wow!  Actually I've probably been overdoing the activity a bit, but it's nice to be able to do things after almost 6 years of being too sick to do much other than survive and do just basic functioning. I really hope that this encourages people here.  Lexapro is truly a monster of a drug, in my opinion.  It took me 5 years to get off of it, but I did.  I'm very glad I took my time getting off, and slowed down my taper once I found this site.  My brain is still recovering, and I do still get waves and upticks in symptoms; however, the waves and symptoms are getting milder, and the waves are getting shorter, while the windows are getting longer.  I am still extra sensitive to things like excess salt in my diet, storm fronts and unsettled weather, stress, too much exercise, etc. 

 

I did go into a wave starting two days ago.  We have had very high winds here for the past several days, and I was overdoing the physical activity, and I had a lot of salt in my diet, so I believe these things affected me.  So, I scaled things back with improving my diet and reducing my activity, and I feel better today than yesterday.  The waves are not as debilitating as they were in the past.  

 

For those of you who are still i the throes of withdrawal, please let this give you hope.  It does get better! For some of us it can take a very long time, which is unfortunate.  Please, don't give up.  Hang in there.  

[mstimc]

Good morning gettoff.  What a great post!  Even though you run into waves, you don't let them define your day.  You are doing great! 

[Phoenixmama]

@getofflex Thank you for your update , 🥰 🌞

[Shep]

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

Please see this topic:  How to write your success story

 

Excellent update, @getofflex. Looking forward to seeing you over on the Success Story forum when you're ready. Job well done. 

Edited May 3, 2023 by Shep
added info

[getofflex]

Thank you so much Shep, and everyone else here for your support!  It means a lot to me!  

 

I haven't been in the forum much, because I need time away for now, and need to attend to things in my 3D life at this time, but I will be back!  

[getofflex]

I got a nasty UTI a week ago, and had to go on cephalexin.  It amped up my WD symptoms for a few days, but only in a minor way.  Last night, I slept fine, and felt fine today!  Thank the Lord.  Being extra careful now to be sure and get enough water, ect.  

[Phoenixmama]

🙌🏻🙏🏻💞

[Shep]

9 hours ago, getofflex said:

I got a nasty UTI a week ago, and had to go on cephalexin.  It amped up my WD symptoms for a few days, but only in a minor way.  Last night, I slept fine, and felt fine today!  Thank the Lord.  Being extra careful now to be sure and get enough water, ect.  

 

The fact that your symptoms resolved so quickly after an infection and an exposure to an antibiotic is a sure sign of resiliency, getofflex. Very glad to read you're feeling better. 

[almuPA]

10 hours ago, getofflex said:

I got a nasty UTI a week ago, and had to go on cephalexin.  It amped up my WD symptoms for a few days, but only in a minor way.  Last night, I slept fine, and felt fine today!  Thank the Lord.  Being extra careful now to be sure and get enough water, ect.  

Well done, so happy to read that💪🙏

[Dee12h]

Your thread is really encouraging, thanks for sharing, especially the spiritual reminders. My faith has grown a ton in the past few months dealing with all this.

Do you think you had to go so slowly mostly bc of your past with meds? I’ve been dropping .05 each time, and I see you did .01. I was fine until the .15 to .1 (or maybe it was delayed & everything’s just now catching up with me?) The past few months have been worse & worse despite no drops. & I only ever took 2.5 for 2 yrs. 🤔

I hope you’re still doing well with very few waves! Congrats with getting off! 

[getofflex]

Hi guys.  My symptoms have amped up, mostly the insomnia and exhaustion.  I believe this is due to a lot of unavoidable stress I'm getting hit with.  It's stressful having an almost 21 year old adult son in college at home.  He is used to being independent at college.  He is home because of an internship.  He gets testy, and then for complex reasons, this causes tension between my husband and myself.  I'm trying hard to choose my battles, and to let stuff go, and just keep a low profile.  Anyway, I know that "this too shall pass".  

 

I have a question for those who are fully recovered.  I still have a terrible memory.  I had a very bad memory all the time I was on the SSRI's, and I haven't really seen any improvement since getting off of them.  Is my memory likely to improve?  I'm only 62, and don't have Alzheimer's or dementia.  

[Happy2Heal]

4 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I have a question for those who are fully recovered.  I still have a terrible memory.  I had a very bad memory all the time I was on the SSRI's, and I haven't really seen any improvement since getting off of them.  Is my memory likely to improve?  I'm only 62, and don't have Alzheimer's or dementia.

Well unlike you, I don't recall that my memory was bad while I was on SSRI's- but it is now.

I am 67 

I am seeing a neurologist in Aug to find out if I have some form of dementia... or I don't know what?  I wonder if the 40+ yrs on psych meds has caused some damage that may never go away.

I don't like to think about that but I think it's possible.

 

You are very very early in the "post zero land", correct? not even a full year yet?

Symptoms can definitely linger well in to your 2nd 3rd even 4th yr off (maybe longer)

I still have a high level of anxiety even in 2019 (I hit zero in 2107) and my sleep can be rough sometimes even now.

 

I think stress combined with sleep disturbance is a BIG issue for me with my memory and other issues, in fact, I Know it is.

It may be for you as well. 

 

if you can get your stress reduced or find ways to manage it so that you can sleep better I think you may find your memory improve.

 

I'd hope things settle down at home for you.

 

 

[RachelSusan]

@getofflex  I felt a little foggy and confused and my memory wasn't as it good as it normally was while on an SSRI, and during the taper.  I finished tapering about 18 months ago. It has been slow going but I feel myself improving. I think the last few months have been the best.  I am about your age.

 

Also you mention stress with your family right now.  It sounds like the situation is only temporary but remember stress can effect your cognitive function. I know the stress hasn't been ongoing the entire time you have been healing but give it a chance and see how your memory is once the internship finishes and your son moves out again.

 

Healing continues long after we finish with the SSRI.

Edited June 15, 2023 by RachelSusan

[getofflex]

13 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I wonder if the 40+ yrs on psych meds has caused some damage that may never go away.

I don't like to think about that but I think it's possible.

Yes, I've thought of that, too.  I will accept the memory loss if it's permanent, as long as the other WD symptoms are improving, which they are.  There are ways to adapt.  But I'm hoping there will be some improvement.  I wish you luck on your visit to the neurologist. 

 

13 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I'd hope things settle down at home for you.

I think they will.  I think my husband, son, and I are all having to adjust, and I'm figuring out ways I can decrease the stress and friction at home.   Our son being home has brought up some issues in the marriage that needed to be talked about and worked out, and my husband and I have been doing that.  Thanks for the support. 😀

 

12 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@getofflex  I felt a little foggy and confused and my memory wasn't as it good as it normally was while on an SSRI, and during the taper.  I finished tapering about 18 months ago. It has been slow going but I feel myself improving. I think the last few months have been the best.  I am about your age.

 

Thanks for the encouragement!  I do notice the memory and cognition issues are worse when I'm sleeping poorly, and under stress.  Thankfully, I got a good night's sleep last night. 

13 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

Healing continues long after we finish with the SSRI.

This is wonderful news.  Thank God.  This gives me hope for more healing.  

[mstimc]

15 hours ago, getofflex said:

have a question for those who are fully recovered.  I still have a terrible memory.  I had a very bad memory all the time I was on the SSRI's, and I haven't really seen any improvement since getting off of them.  Is my memory likely to improve?  I'm only 62, and don't have Alzheimer's or dementia.

You and I are the same age! I had the same problem in WD and recovery.  One thing that helped me was when I found out the Greek root word for anxiety is "divided mind." Anxiety wants to control all the mind's thoughts, so its constantly trying to crowd out other thoughts.  Naturally, this means we don't remember things as well as we'd like. I was working when I was in WD, and I used a steno pad to write down to-do's so I wouldn't forget a task.  It took a while, but I was back to answering trivia questions in Jeopardy after a few years!

[manymoretodays]

Hi off Lex,

Heyo.  I found one article fairly recent about "peers" and it's even international!

https://madinireland.com/2023/05/the-battle-of-the-peer/

 

The conference I attended was free, and part of the Peers in my State.  Some are certified, through a program that is funded by the State.  And that's what I did, years ago.......even before I realized I was not getting any better with psychiatry and psychopharmacology.  I did a 40 hour training, free.  And then I keep up my certification by doing so many CEU's every couple of years now.

 

The peers at the conference I attended had many different focuses, like some presented from the stand point of recovering from sex trafficking even(and were part of an organization that I could refer others too even, outside of general mental health systems).  Many were recovering from Substance use as well.

 

The presentation I liked the best was about "Story Telling"  and how our stories can heal and help, and oh, just a ton of great new perspectives on "Story Telling" how it can change as we change, etc.

 

There wasn't, as I said anyone presenting on the harms of medications, or deprescriping, in this one.  There has been in the past, which is great.

 

And meantime.....it is pretty cool that there are absolutely no pharmacological booths outside the conference or representatives of such.  It's all people who are healing, in other words.  Some are professionals in the Social Service Sector, who also have had their own struggles.  One doctor came, I'm not sure what kind of doctor.  Most did come to learn, and some to learn more about how their own organization might benefit from having a peer worker too.

 

I'll find you more too, to read on, and look at.  You ARE doing peer work with what you do here.

 

Okay.  Love and peace, healing, and growth, mmt

Let's not talk dementia.......or I don't wish to entertain that possibility in me yet.  Just referring to some of the discussion above in your thread here.

Definite effects to my memory and cognition when I AM stressed.  And then when I de-stress I feel okay again, back to my baseline.  Glad to hear you are working on things at home and oh my yes.......I can relate to having an adult child temporarily in the household..... and how that could throw off the usual balance.  I think my revolving door days with my own Sun/son now are over........as he's now 31 and totally keeps his own household now.  Kind of makes me sad..... as I miss him not being around as much.......yet, likely it's what nature intends for most, not all though........that parents and children live apart.  At least in some cultures......not all.  Anyway......I just miss my son, wish he was a little closer......then again he's not too far away either.  So.....all okay.

 

 

Edited June 16, 2023 by manymoretodays

[getofflex]

MMT thank you for explaining peer support so thoroughly, and also for the link to the article.  I think this is a wonderful concept.  I wonder if they have peer groups here in Missouri.  I understand you are in the west USA.  I really believe that peer support is how humans have probably handled their challenges and struggles before we became an industrial, then Information Age society, and that now many/most of us have become very isolated.  In fact the surgeon general of the USA recently (May 2023) raised an alarm about the epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the US.  https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/03/new-surgeon-general-advisory-raises-alarm-about-devastating-impact-epidemic-loneliness-isolation-united-states.html

 

Thanks for your feedback and input about my own situation. I was so looking forward to my younger son living with us this summer, forgetting about the challenges of the changes in the family dynamics, and the extra demands of having a third person living in the house.  I'm still glad he is with us, but yet it has put a strain on the relationship of hubby and myself.  (Yet, I know I'll miss him when he is gone). My husband and I have differing views on how to deal with him when he gets disrespectful.  Hubby is more permissive, and I'm more inclined to set boundaries with Andrew. So, we are working out a  compromise.  I am glad Andrew got the internship, and it's working out so well.  He is also very active doing social things with his friends, which I'm very supportive of.  His older brother, who is 28, is up in Halifax helping someone transport a sailboat to Connecticut, so he is having a great adventure.  I'm glad he is doing this.  

 

I have hope my memory will improve as the stress and sleep improve, and as my nervous system gets farther along in healing.  Today, I'm dealing with some depression and sadness, fatigue, vision issues, and brain fog.  Sleep has been pretty spotty the past 4-5 days, so I'm sure that's a big part of it.  Acceptance is the key, and pacing myself and slowing down to give myself a break and a chance to rest.  

 

 

Edited June 17, 2023 by getofflex

[getofflex]

Well life certainly threw me and my family a curve ball.  My 20 year old son Andrew ended up very sick and in the hospital with pneumonia and tonsillitis a week ago.  Thankfully, he is 95% better now and out of the hospital!  However, the stress of all this has set me back in my own WD recovery.  I've been having insomnia almost every night getting about 4-6 hours of sleep, which isn't enough, and I'm very fatigued during the day.  I've also made a discovery.  I have a tendency towards hypoglycemia, always have, even well before psych meds.  Yesterday, I ate light, and early this morning I was up at about 3 AM, feeling as if I'd just had 3 cups of coffee (alerted).  I never did get back to sleep.  I've searched the internet, and sure enough, low blood glucose triggers the production of cortisol and adrenaline.  So much for trying to lose weight while I'm still in recovery from WD.  Here is the article: 

 

https://medbroadcast.com/condition/getcondition/hypoglycemia#:~:text=Your body uses glucose as,blood glucose levels are low.

[mstimc]

Getofflex, having a sick child would throw anyone a loop, so don't be too hard on yourself.  Anxiety comes at us from so many angles, sometimes it seems there's nothing we can do but pull the covers over our head and hide from the world.  But things will calm down and you'll be back on the steady road to recovery before you know it.  So glad to hear your son is okay!

[getofflex]

Thanks, MST!  I appreciate the support.  

[Shep]

18 hours ago, getofflex said:

 I have a tendency towards hypoglycemia, always have, even well before psych meds.  Yesterday, I ate light, and early this morning I was up at about 3 AM, feeling as if I'd just had 3 cups of coffee (alerted).  I never did get back to sleep.

 

Getofflex, you're doing remarkable for the stressors you've had. Very glad your son is on the mend.

 

Regarding hypoglycemia, this is something I was diagnosed with while in elementary school, so this was a problem even before psych meds for me, as well. I've always had to eat protein at night so that my body is fueled and my blood sugar doesn't drop right away. For me, a small serving of red meat before bed, along with a low-glycemic fruit, tends to help. But I think it's individual as to what specific foods are the best. You may want to keep a food diary, if you're not already doing so. Once you find the foods that work the best, life gets a lot easier to manage without those drops in blood sugar with symptoms that can mimic withdrawal symptoms. 

 

18 hours ago, getofflex said:

 I've searched the internet, and sure enough, low blood glucose triggers the production of cortisol and adrenaline.  So much for trying to lose weight while I'm still in recovery from WD.  Here is the article: 

 

https://medbroadcast.com/condition/getcondition/hypoglycemia#:~:text=Your body uses glucose as,blood glucose levels are low.

 

I lost over 30 pounds after I came off these drugs and I still have low blood sugar, so don't get discouraged. It's a matter of finding the right foods for your body so you keep your blood sugar as steady as possible. It can take some experimentation, but it's definitely doable, especially the farther out you are from these drugs. It's a lot easier, too, once you get away from the carb cravings these drugs can cause. 

[getofflex]

Thank you Shep, for the support and reassurance.  I just find that I can't go more than about 4 hours without something to eat, and need to eat a well balanced meals 3 times a day with fat and protein, and then if I eat a small amount of nuts before bed, I'm usually OK.  I need to forget about trying to lose weight, at least until my CNS is more recovered.  I probably need to prioritize cooking healthy foods from scratch a little more, it's a challenge in summer, and then with my son home, and having gotten so sick, I let my diet slip somewhat.   

[brassmonkey]

Rainbow trail mix is your friend.

[getofflex]

So it's been a year since I jumped off Lexapro.  

 

To be honest, I'm frustrated at how slow this recovery process is.  And I feel guilty for being frustrated, because I know compared to many here, I'm doing quite well.  My main symptoms now are trouble sleeping, and feeling emotionally fragile and exhausted, some anxiety off and on, with neuro emotions on some days.  So, this whole experience is testing my patience and my acceptance.  I realize that I really need acceptance, because lack of acceptance just adds to the suffering.  I'm doing all I can in the way of natural things to help with sleep.  I also believe part of the sleep issues could be from trauma. (CPTSD) 

 

I do believe that the sleep problems are worse in the summer, due to the short nights and long days.  Not only that, my 20 year old college son is home with us for the summer because his internship is here in town.  There have been quite a few stressors - he got very sick in June and was hospitalized, and he gets testy a lot because he is used to living at the college.  We don't tell him what to do anymore, which is good, but he still gets irritable.  I don't do too well with the heat and humidity either.  We had major issues with our old bank and have switched over to a new bank, and our checks that we ordered seem to have gotten lost, so we are dealing with that now.  

 

However, I do have to say that overall I'm getting better, but it's extremely slow, and there are the ups and downs.  I never know how I'm going to feel, so it's hard to plan anything, and I have little desire to travel over the summer.  So, I just take things as they come.  I try to take my walk outside every day, now in the morning to avoid the heat.  I've been doing a lot of watercolor sketches, which I enjoy.  Sometimes, I just sit on the back deck of my home, and sketch stuff in my back yard, or I'll go to a local park and sketch there.  We haven't been doing the bird walks much due to the heat.  I'm looking forward to fall, when the weather will be cooler, and the nights longer, so hopefully I can sleep better, and get outside more.  

 

Overall, I'm very grateful to be off the psych drugs, and that I am slowly getting better.  

Edited July 10, 2023 by getofflex

[Moonpie]

 I totally understand your  frustration . I felt the same way when I went off Lexapro. After a long taper, which was not as long as yours, I was off and I expected that to be it . I understood there would still be more healing but  I did not expect it to be like it was.  I searched the site and found that this is the case with many of us after tapering Lexapro.  Even with careful tapering it has its own timeline for healing even afterwards. Plus with no benzo to ease the symptoms it is challenging.   I decided it would take as long as it took and my body knew what it needed to do to heal . That did not mean I was not  impatient at times. Experiencing regular anxiety and stress was still a learning curve.  You have had a lot to deal with in your  after healing, time It will get better.  We are off the drug! And every day is a day closer to complete healing.  You have made it! You are just finishing the last lap or 2 and then you will be  completely free!  Hugs and prayers! Love you

[Dee12h]

How’s it going now? 
Did you have a lot of trouble sleeping while still tapering?

[getofflex]

Dee yes, insomnia was probably my biggest symptoms.  I'm still dealing with that.  However, I have tools for coping with it.  @Dee12hcongrats for getting down to 0.1 mg of Lexapro!  

 

We are in a heat wave, and now my brain is now on the 48 hour plan.  I sleep well every other night, and in the alternating nights, I lay awake for half or most of the night.  My coping techniques are practicing sleep hygiene, listening to calming music, deep breathing, prayer, and acceptance.  I would say acceptance is my main one.  And, saying to myself "this too shall pass", and being optimistic that eventually my sleep will improve.  The heat does a number on me.  

Edited August 24, 2023 by getofflex

[getofflex]

I'm almost 14 months off Lexapro.  

 

My symptoms of insomnia, DP/DR, anxiety, restlessness, etc, have improved significantly over the years.  

 

However, I'm still having some pretty intense neuro emotions, not every day, but every other day to every few days.  I often have crying spells, which are exhausting and cause my husband to worry.   I also overreact to comments if they are the slightest big snarky or disparaging.  I think I need to work more on realizing these are mainly neuro emotions, and practice AAF, reassuring myself these will pass, etc.  

 

I'm hoping in another year, these will decease significantly.  

Edited September 4, 2023 by getofflex

[Jools2816]

@getofflex so glad to hear! You are almost there! I am scared of these emotional volatility you describe but not scared enough to give up. Is so good to hear that you had the strength for the journey! I think I don’t know what to expect , I lost sense of what would be a ‘baseline’. After so many years of meds, emotional numbness and psychological problems I have no idea what to aim for. Sending warmest encouragement and wishes !  

[Onmyway]

Just stopped by to say I am thinking of you @getofflex!

OMW