GruntWork29: trying to survive Zoloft after long battle

[GruntWork29]

Hello there I am seeking knowledge and or experience with advice on a very disturbing complicated topic I have been battling with for almost 10 years now. 

I first started taking Zoloft when I was 18 years old at 25mg. I took Zoloft for almost 1 year never missing a day. I was prescribed Zoloft for night time panic attacks and anxiety

when I was in high school. While taking zoloft I didn't feel anything other then numbness and lack of creativity as well as tired and extreme fatigue at the time. Before zoloft it's worth saying 

that I never experienced any kind of depression at all in fact I didn't even know what depression was or felt like at the time. 

 

I stopped taking Zoloft out of the anger of feeling numb and completely zombie like affects it had on me. I didn't know anything about tapering at the time and my doctor didn't say anything about it. So I stopped taking Zoloft

cold Turkey at age 19. Just so we are clear on information, I am a male which seems to matter because women and men react differently it seems. After 24 hours I felt the first brain zap and the withdraw hell had started as well as the fight for my life. For 4 months straight I was in the bed, every night I puked which made me lose almost 10 pounds at the time. The brain zaps started to be so bad I would actually brace for the next set of pulses going through my head. My speech became very slow and slurred and I couldn't remember what I was saying. The chronic fatigue was so bad I tried to apply for SSI for any kind of help knowing I was in big trouble but got denied because the doctors make me take a IQ test and once I scored 154 they basically told me there was no way I was ever going to get any help for living. I began to become catatonic and just felt mentally dead and couldn't remember what I was doing almost like I was still sleeping and never even woke up for the day. I began having waves of suicidal thoughts it was strange because I didn't want to die, these thoughts were almost like impulses making me feel and think a certain way with no control over them myself.  I did what you are not supposed to do I quit cold turkey and faced the hell that came with it. The chronic fatigue set in which made no sense because just 1 year ago I was playing varsity lacrosse. So the idea that I was always just depressed and this was a relapse is 100% non-sense and something I can't accept as a reality of truth. 

 

It's been 10 years and I am now a 29 years old now and still feel the after math of the mental destruction. I wish I could say I recovered and got my life back but that would not be the truth. I suffer from massive memory loss and a struggle of learning new things is almost impossible. The chronic fatigue is something that has not changed since the first day I stopped Zoloft even after 10 years of being off now. I have seen many doctors and PHDs in the DUKE/UNC area and they all tell me that it's a major serotonin problem that needs to be corrected from the major drop of stopping Zoloft. 

 

I am here asking if anyone has had any kind of lasting problems and if the theory of taking an SSRI again to increase the levels of serotonin makes sense or if it has more of a likely hood of just doing more damage causing more pain? Do I live with being mentally crippled now losing my creativity  and feeling angry and agitated  pretty much my entire life? Is it brain damage or can this be fixed? Any thoughts and suggestions will be greatly greatly appreciated.

[ChessieCat]

Hi GruntWork and welcome to SA,

 

To get you started please create your drug signature using the following format.   Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

• details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
• summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

 

Once we have the details of your drug history we will be better able to offer suggestions.

 

Please post telling us that you have created your drug signature so that we don't miss seeing it.  Thank you.

 

This is your own introductions topic where your can ask questions about your own situation and journal your progress.

[GruntWork29]

I will use Reddit nvm

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Grunt.

 

Over the last year, have you seen any improvement? How's your sleep? Are your symptoms worse at any particular time of day? Do they come in waves?

 

It sounds like you had the worst kind of acute withdrawal from Zoloft cold turkey, you've had post-acute withdrawal syndrome for years. This is not a serotonin deficiency or any kind of serotonin imbalance. How an SSRI would affect you, nobody knows.

 

What we see here is that when you have such a huge adverse reaction to a psychiatric drug, people often become hypersensitive to drugs and sometimes supplements and even foods. Have you been on and off other drugs in the last 10 years? Are you taking anything now?

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.