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Ruinedbyprozac

Ruinedbyprozac: hell is among us

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Ruinedbyprozac

Hi.

I'm mark.

Was on prozac for 6 years. Cold turkeyed. And stayed off for 3 months. Went back on citalopram for 6 months. Tapered over 3 weeks(doctor said taper wasn't required but I did anyways).

    I'm now off for 15 months in agonizing hell. Here are my symptoms.

 

Anxiety

Depression

Lethargy

Fatigue

Breathing issues

Food,light,noise,motion sensitivity

Irritability

Suicidal thoughts

Throat clearing

Voice issues 

Sleep/wake issues

 

 

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ChessieCat

Hi Ruinedbyprozac and welcome to SA,

 

To get you started please create your drug signature using the following format.   Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

  • details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
  • summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

 

Once we have the details of your drug history we will be better able to offer suggestions.

 

Please post telling us that you have created your drug signature so that we don't miss seeing it.  Thank you.

 

This is your own introductions topic where your can ask questions about your own situation and journal your progress.

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Carmie

Hi Mark, 

 

Welcome to SA from me too. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. After cold turkeying a number of meds your poor brain is really struggling to try and find some homeostasis. Unfortunately nothing but time can heal our brains once we have been off the meds for a long period of time. Reinstating this far out may not work. That’s why Alto started this site, she was cold turkeyed off her meds and had protracted withdrawal for eight or nine years. That doesn’t mean you will have it that long. A lot of people have recovered from cold turkeying much sooner. She wants people to now know not to cold turkey or taper too quickly. It’s a shame a lot of us didn’t know this sooner. 

 

Two supplements that have helped people on here a bit are fish oil and magnesium. Have you ever tried them? You just start off on a low dose of one first and then you slowly up the dosage, and then try the other one. Some people haven’t tolerated them, but a lot of people have found them beneficial.

 

Are you taking any other supplements? A lot of supplements can ramp up our symptoms. Are you exercising? A lot of people find strenuous exercise ramps up their symptoms too as it ramps up the CNS. 

 

I don’t know if you’ve read brassmonkey’s thread on the top of the Symptoms And Self Care page, but that explains a lot about the withdrawal process. I’ll get ChessieCat to send you the link to that and the magnesium n fish oil thread. I’m not computer savvy, I’m on my iPad. 

 

Do you have any distractions that that can help you to cope when you are going through severe withdrawals. They don’t take away the waves, but distracting ourselves from the symptoms can certainly help us to keep coping. If we focus on our symptoms too much the stress can actually make the symptoms worse. I do all sorts of things to distract myself when I’m in severe waves: DVD and Netflix marathons, music, concerts, arts and crafts, I go out in nature, I play word games on my iPad, read when my brain fog isn’t too bad etc etc. 

 

You will eventually heal, we all heal, it’s just a slow process. I’ve been tapering for many, many years, and have got many to go as I can only taper by small percentages now. 

 

Wishing you all all the best in your recovery💚

 

 

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Altostrata

Welcome, RbP.

 

How have your symptoms changed in the last year? What are your sleep issues?

 

Are your symptoms worse at any particular time of day? Typically, you may have spells of unpleasant symptoms in The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

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Ruinedbyprozac
18 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi Mark, 

 

Welcome to SA from me too. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. After cold turkeying a number of meds your poor brain is really struggling to try and find some homeostasis. Unfortunately nothing but time can heal our brains once we have been off the meds for a long period of time. Reinstating this far out may not work. That’s why Alto started this site, she was cold turkeyed off her meds and had protracted withdrawal for eight or nine years. That doesn’t mean you will have it that long. A lot of people have recovered from cold turkeying much sooner. She wants people to now know not to cold turkey or taper too quickly. It’s a shame a lot of us didn’t know this sooner. 

 

Two supplements that have helped people on here a bit are fish oil and magnesium. Have you ever tried them? You just start off on a low dose of one first and then you slowly up the dosage, and then try the other one. Some people haven’t tolerated them, but a lot of people have found them beneficial.

 

Are you taking any other supplements? A lot of supplements can ramp up our symptoms. Are you exercising? A lot of people find strenuous exercise ramps up their symptoms too as it ramps up the CNS. 

 

I don’t know if you’ve read brassmonkey’s thread on the top of the Symptoms And Self Care page, but that explains a lot about the withdrawal process. I’ll get ChessieCat to send you the link to that and the magnesium n fish oil thread. I’m not computer savvy, I’m on my iPad. 

 

Do you have any distractions that that can help you to cope when you are going through severe withdrawals. They don’t take away the waves, but distracting ourselves from the symptoms can certainly help us to keep coping. If we focus on our symptoms too much the stress can actually make the symptoms worse. I do all sorts of things to distract myself when I’m in severe waves: DVD and Netflix marathons, music, concerts, arts and crafts, I go out in nature, I play word games on my iPad, read when my brain fog isn’t too bad etc etc. 

 

You will eventually heal, we all heal, it’s just a slow process. I’ve been tapering for many, many years, and have got many to go as I can only taper by small percentages now. 

 

Wishing you all all the best in your recovery💚

 

 

Hey

 

Yes ,I figured I was too late for reinstatement..it didnt make sense anyways because I was spiraling while on the drugs anyways. Was just the lesser of 2 evils. And I dont think I would survive another attempt. I think if I ever went back on it would be for life.....

 

I have tried numerous supplements.. probably spent hundreds. Fish oil included. I tried things like b complex,b12,iron,inositol,choline,st John's.. nothing changed much. I will try magnesium....

 

I am exercising and am becoming tolerant of it. In the beginning of withdrawal it was a mess. My lungs would start spewing phlegm,couldn't breath, was fatigued, and had extreme pressure all through out my head....

 

I ll check out the thread you mentioned😊.....

As for distraction. I do try. And it does take your mind off things. Only prob is I dont care for anything. I have become completely lethargic and apathetic. Things I use to do just mean nothing. I golfed,played sports,went out,watched shows....now I just exist ..nothing matters. I stare at the tv not giving a crap about what's on, just waiting for my life to end.....that really hurts.  That kind of life damage is just horrendous. I have as much positive feeling as a robot. .....

Thanks for putting time and care into your message. Means a lot

 

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Ruinedbyprozac
15 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, RbP.

 

How have your symptoms changed in the last year? What are your sleep issues?

 

Are your symptoms worse at any particular time of day? Typically, you may have spells of unpleasant symptoms in The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

Hi. So I suppose I have improved..considering for the first 4 months I came home from work,went downstairs,turned off the lights and covered myself with a blanket. I would lay there and cry for hours. Was unbelievable. I ve been off work for 5 months now so I'm better in that sense..I have less stress....

 

My sleep issues come and go. Sometimes I sleep 12 hours and wake needing more sleep. Other times very little. I sleep for 3 hours and wake at 2am and I'm completely wide awake instantly. I'll dose off hours later and when I wake I feel absolutely suicidal. It takes hours to get my eyes open. I'll usually just lay there for an hour and struggle. My anger and irritabilty levels in the morning are crazy. The thoughts I have are of harming myself or people who cross my path. Before prozac, I played sports in the evening, would have drinks after,get 4 or 5 hours sleep and wake up feeling like a million bucks, and off to work. I am unbelievably damaged in that sense...

 

Waves and windows.. not so much. I get a window during the day from 11-3 where things are somewhat better. Nothing longer. It's been more of an extremely slow progression, if that.

 

Gonna try magnesium next. I have tried lots of supps.

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SkyStreamer

Hi RBP!

 

I decided to connect with you on your thread, so we don't colonize the other person's.

 

Just wanted to followup and additionally recommend this YouTube audio talk on acceptance by Eckhart Tolle: https://bit.ly/2HBeynh. I'm constantly revisiting this talk myself. Very helpful.

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Ruinedbyprozac

Yeah I figured it was cortisol....

 

I go to bed at 10 and it's a crapshoot. Sometimes sleep comes and I stay asleep. Sometimes I dont. I also have noise sensitivity which maybe unrelated. This wakes me sometimes. I've had chronic ear issues for 10 yrs which is why I started ssris. As it turns out, my problems may have been muscular all along and the ear issues are all referred from temporal,shoulder and neck tension. I'm full of knots and stiffness. This was made clear to me last month and a chiropractor is currently working on me. Turns out instead of a massage they stuck me on prozac and ruined my life. Lol.....I am 100 percent certain, I was never ever depressed or even close before prozac. Just had ear pain. Now here I am.......surreal.

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Altostrata

Taking a bit of melatonin and turning off the lights can help trigger sleep.

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RandyJames

Hi Mark.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  Nobody deserves this.  Not anyone.  For your noise sensitivity have you tried using ear plugs?  I used them during my first withdrawal from benzos and Cymbalta and am actually using them again as I have recently become so tolerant that I am having a lot of my old WD symptoms come back.  Any little noise during the night or early morning when I'm just waking up gives me a terrible adrenaline rush.  I am currently not nearly as bad as when I have been in full withdrawal but this Tolerance withdrawal business is no fun either.  I'm having tons of morning anxiety that only partially subsides later in the day and a lot of cognitive issues as well as anhedonia.  I will be going into a very slow taper in a few months after we move and get settled in which is scaring the bejesus out of me.  I do not want to experience the full intensity of complete withdrawal again but I have realized that I simply have to come off of these pills.  There is no other way forward.  

 

I quit Cymbalta cold turkey around nine years ago  after a year long benzo taper.  I was on the benzos for 16 or so years and Cymbalta for two.  The withdrawal was a nightmare.  I did get through the benzos but after 2 years the Cymbalta withdrawal was still there though it had improved a little.  I made the mistake of reinstating on Lexapro and here I am today.   I believe that if I had stuck through my withdrawal that I would have beaten it by now; probably long ago actually.   So many of the success stories here come at somewhere after a 2 year mark which is where I was at when I reinstated.  

 

I know you will make it through.  You're at 15 months so that's fairly early.   It's really good that you are exercising as well.  I have found it really hard while in withdrawal and really just completely withdrew to the couch or bed.  This time around I intend on being more proactive in my recovery and not just try and convalesce the whole time.  I hope to read about you full recovery soon and best of luck to you.  Hang in there and don't give up.

 

 

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Ruinedbyprozac

Will try that. @altostrata. I have terrible shortness of breath. My throat tightens up with foods,water,smells,cold temperature and even from what I believe is vibration from a moving vehicle. I think it's a mast cell thing. I'm using quercetin and it doesnt help..someone suggested hista-block..any other ideas? It is my most debilitating symptom 

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Altostrata

That doesn't sound like an allergy or mast cell reaction. It sounds like neural hypersensitivity or parasympathetic dysfunction.

 

You're getting chiro, correct? Have you tried acupuncture?

 

You may need to apply some self-soothing techniques to send calming messages to your muscles, see

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

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Ruinedbyprozac
On 3/15/2019 at 7:45 PM, RandyJames said:

Hi Mark.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  Nobody deserves this.  Not anyone.  For your noise sensitivity have you tried using ear plugs?  I used them during my first withdrawal from benzos and Cymbalta and am actually using them again as I have recently become so tolerant that I am having a lot of my old WD symptoms come back.  Any little noise during the night or early morning when I'm just waking up gives me a terrible adrenaline rush.  I am currently not nearly as bad as when I have been in full withdrawal but this Tolerance withdrawal business is no fun either.  I'm having tons of morning anxiety that only partially subsides later in the day and a lot of cognitive issues as well as anhedonia.  I will be going into a very slow taper in a few months after we move and get settled in which is scaring the bejesus out of me.  I do not want to experience the full intensity of complete withdrawal again but I have realized that I simply have to come off of these pills.  There is no other way forward.  

 

I quit Cymbalta cold turkey around nine years ago  after a year long benzo taper.  I was on the benzos for 16 or so years and Cymbalta for two.  The withdrawal was a nightmare.  I did get through the benzos but after 2 years the Cymbalta withdrawal was still there though it had improved a little.  I made the mistake of reinstating on Lexapro and here I am today.   I believe that if I had stuck through my withdrawal that I would have beaten it by now; probably long ago actually.   So many of the success stories here come at somewhere after a 2 year mark which is where I was at when I reinstated.  

 

I know you will make it through.  You're at 15 months so that's fairly early.   It's really good that you are exercising as well.  I have found it really hard while in withdrawal and really just completely withdrew to the couch or bed.  This time around I intend on being more proactive in my recovery and not just try and convalesce the whole time.  I hope to read about you full recovery soon and best of luck to you.  Hang in there and don't give up.

 

 

Thanks for the advice. Days and minutes seem like they're forever. The 2 year mark is so far away. Messages like yours do make things easier. If I could just breath I could deal with the rest. 

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Ruinedbyprozac
6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

That doesn't sound like an allergy or mast cell reaction. It sounds like neural hypersensitivity or parasympathetic dysfunction.

 

You're getting chiro, correct? Have you tried acupuncture?

 

You may need to apply some self-soothing techniques to send calming messages to your muscles, see

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

Hey. I have tried acupuncture. Not sure I believed it would ever work so I was behind before I started. 

  So neural sensitivity? Can you explain that a little more? My breathing is horrible. I saw a respirologist and he didnt see any issues. If its sensitivity will it subside? It's my worst symptom by a mile.

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ChessieCat

Acupuncture - Posts #6 & #8 (not detox or stimulation)

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Rachellynn

Are you going to micro-dose Prozac?

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Ruinedbyprozac
On 3/23/2019 at 11:08 AM, Rachellynn said:

Are you going to micro-dose Prozac?

I'm undecided.  It's so risky.  I cant handle a withdrawal again. I'm have another predicament right now. I suffer from ear and head pain which is separate from withdrawal. 2 doctors are suggesting valproic acid. I'm afraid it will effect my recovery....

On 3/16/2019 at 3:33 PM, Altostrata said:

That doesn't sound like an allergy or mast cell reaction. It sounds like neural hypersensitivity or parasympathetic dysfunction.

 

You're getting chiro, correct? Have you tried acupuncture?

 

You may need to apply some self-soothing techniques to send calming messages to your muscles, see

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

Hey. I have tried acupuncture. Not sure I believed it would ever work so I was behind before I started. 

  So neural sensitivity? Can you explain that a little more? My breathing is horrible. I saw a respirologist and he didnt see any issues. If its sensitivity will it subside? It's my worst symptom by a mile.

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Ruinedbyprozac
14 hours ago, Altostrata said:

So I dont think this decribes my breathing issue. It's all day and everyday. Better some than others. 

On 3/23/2019 at 11:08 AM, Rachellynn said:

Are you going to micro-dose Prozac?

I'm undecided.  It's so risky.  I cant handle a withdrawal again. I'm have another predicament right now. I suffer from ear and head pain which is separate from withdrawal. 2 doctors are suggesting valproic acid. I'm afraid it will effect my recovery....

On 3/16/2019 at 3:33 PM, Altostrata said:

That doesn't sound like an allergy or mast cell reaction. It sounds like neural hypersensitivity or parasympathetic dysfunction.

 

You're getting chiro, correct? Have you tried acupuncture?

 

You may need to apply some self-soothing techniques to send calming messages to your muscles, see

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

Hey. I have tried acupuncture. Not sure I believed it would ever work so I was behind before I started. 

  So neural sensitivity? Can you explain that a little more? My breathing is horrible. I saw a respirologist and he didnt see any issues. If its sensitivity will it subside? It's my worst symptom by a mile.

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Altostrata

We have seen that going on and off psychiatric drugs and having adverse reactions such as withdrawal symptoms causes the nervous system to become sensitive to all kinds of stimuli. See

 

Post-withdrawal nervous system hypersensitivity or kindling

 

Hypersensitivity to drugs, foods, and supplements?

 

Increased sensitivity to light, noise, sound, exercise etc

 

Inactivity may make sympathetic nervous system hypersensitive...

 

Please read the entire topic about breathing problems.

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