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ShiningLight: brain injury with gabapentin WD want off others


ShiningLight

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4 minutes ago, ShiningLight said:

Hi Carmie, thanks for the support. I appreciate it. You are my role model for being socially active and planning fun things. Kudos! I will work on that. You are absolutely right that having fun things to look forward to helps.

 

I really think this is important ShiningLight, 

 

I need things to look forward, even if I’m too sick on the day to do them. If I am, then there’s the next thing to look forward to. I do lots of things with friends, but I also love doing things on my own. I’m a big explorer, I love hopping on a bus and getting off somewhere and exploring new places and taking lots of photos. I have no trouble entertaining myself. One of my friends said to me that she doesn’t know how I can go out and do fun things on my own, she likes to have someone with her.

 

I’m a extrovert, but I need lots of time on my own too. There are things I prefer to do on my own, like going to an art gallery etc. 

 

I hope you find fun things to do too. Even if we’re anhedonic or anxiety is high I think it’s still important. 💚

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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I agree @Carmie. I just made plans to go to a marching band competition in Nov. I used to be in the high school band back in the day. I also made plans to go to a round table discussion in Oct.

 

The thing my heart desires the most is to get back on a horse. There is a place near here but I am super unfit and fat and afraid I'd fall off. I'm going to try to work up to it.

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
6 minutes ago, ShiningLight said:

I agree @Carmie. I just made plans to go to a marching band competition in Nov. I used to be in the high school band back in the day. I also made plans to go to a round table discussion in Oct.

 

The thing my heart desires the most is to get back on a horse. There is a place near here but I am super unfit and fat and afraid I'd fall off. I'm going to try to work up to it.

 

You can do it ShiningLight,🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴💚

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Dear @ShiningLight and @Carmie

 

and Len189 and Composter and everyone on this thread -

 

On 8/29/2019 at 1:03 AM, ShiningLight said:

Title: A Primer on Why ShiningLight is Quitting Therapy

 

All of what you wrote Shining Light resonates with me precisely throughout your thread -  including the bits in this section on

On 8/29/2019 at 1:03 AM, ShiningLight said:

I feel that the movement to “destigmatize mental health” is all wrong. Abolish the entire concepts! That’s what really needs to happen. “Mental illness” is nothing but normal human experiences along a continuum.

 

There is nothing wrong with us - more women than men  - just look in the therapists and psych offices) who are more 'feelers' and sensitive than most men - you capture the whole bit so well. We have been wronged and taken advantage of by the medical 'industry' (MDs, pharma, hospitals, insurance companies, pharmacies,etc., etc.). I resent the time that has been taken from me when I have been unable to fully function and researching this - when I'd much rather be doing something else and rely on trusted experts (few and far between - which I've learned the hard way).  I am poly-drugged as well and have been for years - high doses of gabapentin and lamictal to manage epilepsy, various psych meds to manage intermitten depression and anxiety in a complex, complicated world - where we are all supposed to have the same sensitivies and emotional normal. The stigma of neurological illness and 'mental health' (where did this come from?) is appalling.

 

I relate to the deficiencies in executive function (part due to epilepsy - plus some other goodies luck short term memory issues tossed in with that), and now the effects of PAWs (thanks psychiatrist and pharmacy).

 

On gabapentin decreasing - my neuro tried to reduce this (I am at 1000 mg day down from 1300 mg day) - and the drop of 100 mg was too much for seizure management - probably due to too quick a decrease! Same for decreasing lamotrigine (also  high).

 

Did you have trouble getting on gabapentin? It took me more than 3 months of daily nausea, dizziness and extreme fatigue - 30 minutes after a dose for about got 1.5-2 hours - then a good hour. This was increasing gradually from 300 mg (again - was taken for seizure management not mood management or pain management - I don't know what those dosags may be).

 

On 9/10/2019 at 1:35 AM, composter said:

And modern society simply does not promote these things like traditional societies and cultures have. 

 

Well said, Composter.

 

May you all have a bright weekend and feel well. Nice to know that you have some plans @ShiningLight. We are all traveling along the same road together.

 

Best wishes,

 

Guilietta

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 8/28/2019 at 10:03 PM, ShiningLight said:

I feel that the movement to “destigmatize mental health” is all wrong. Abolish the entire concepts! That’s what really needs to happen. “Mental illness” is nothing but normal human experiences along a continuum. It seems like “mental illness” is so often diagnosed in women and others who have suffered social injustices, who maybe are more sensitive than other people, don’t fit neatly in a box, and find it intolerable to live in a society that has drifted (and at times leapt) away from important values such as community, equality, compassion, connection, and spirituality, in favor of shopping and designer coffee. True psychopaths notwithstanding, there is not something wrong with the majority of people who have been labelled as “mentally ill.” There is something right with them! There is in fact something wrong with a rigid society that can't accommodate sensitive, creative people.

 I agree with you on this 100%. Actually there has long been a counter-movement to psychiatry, I remember reading RD Laing back in the 1970s... I believe Bob Whitaker talks about this in his books, how psychiatry was threatened by this and came on big with the medicalization of everything. You might like his books, Anatomy of an Epidemic and Mad In America. There is a sort of anti-psychiatry movement still today, and this idea that we have created a medical model around human distress and the normal human range of behavior and personality types--you would probably like the work being done by Will Hall and Hearing Voices.

 

Anyway mostly I just wanted to say not only are you right on here in my opinion but you are definitely not alone. 

 

I also want to say that as I have been hanging about these past weeks, I have really been enjoying your thoughtful and helpful posts.

 

-Rhi

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thanks so much all! More later when I have time

 

Quick update...pain still here but is improving today thank goodness! 

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Good to hear that your pain is improving!

 

17 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

Seem to have dystonia flareups about 45 min to an hour after gabapentin dose. But at the same amount of time I'm driving to/from work, and I get the dystonia in my legs so not sure if it's the driving or the drug or what. That's as far as I can do with a symptom log today. Will try for a decent log tomorrow.

 

 

As you are on a much lower dose of gabapentine now I don't expect the side effects of gabapentine to flare up. That would not be logical to me.

I do however recognise the situation where in you are physically busy and you hurt yourself during the exercise or shortly after as withdrawal. 

 

For me modest walking can trigger huge pain in the calves! Or walking up and down the stairs, or cycling. All kinds of movements with your legs can trigger pains or muscle tension in the calves. 

 

When I hold longer over many months this slowly improves over time for me. 

 

Holding a bit longer on your gabapentine dose is probably the best for you now. 

2019 2.1 mg amitriptyline ,15th july 2.1 mg, 22-7 2.09 mg, 29-7 2.08 mg, 5-8 2.09 mg , 7-8 2.1 mg . 2020 Holding at 2.1 mg

2019 125 mg lyrica, 15th july 124,5 mg, 22-7 124 mg, 29-7 123,5 mg, 4-8 124 mg 2020 holding at 124 mg

2015 january building up my medication to 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline for face ache after a rootcanal treatment at the dentist. 2016 february start tapering lyrica from 450 mg to 200 mg 2016 october tapered 25 mg amitriptyline to 25 mg 2017 tapered lyrica from 200 mg to 100 mg 2017 september tapered my last tablet of 25 mg amitriptyline to zero  (horrible muscle pain started) 2018 february tapered lyrica from 100 mg to 75 mg (my muscle pain got worse and I have a lot of nervepain in my arms and legs, sometimes all over musclepain and nerve pain and burning pain) 2018 may reinstated 25 mg lyrica. My current dose is 100 mg lyrica. My pain is still very bad but a little less intense, my mood improved. 2018 since 22th may updose amitriptyline.  9 beads. 2018 june updosing lyrica. 2018 16 th june 125 mg lyrica and 9 beads amitriptyline ( 2mg) Now I'm doing a long hold. I can't taper anymore. Too much pain. I hope to stabilize and improve while holding. I'm trying graded activity to get rid of my pain. 2019 1 jan. Lyrica 125 mg (holding) 2019 1 jan. Amitriptyline tapering from 9 beads to 8 beads (1 jan. 2019),  8,5 beads (5 jan 19), 9 beads (16 jan 19) tapper attempt failed

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Sorry wrong forum...

2019 2.1 mg amitriptyline ,15th july 2.1 mg, 22-7 2.09 mg, 29-7 2.08 mg, 5-8 2.09 mg , 7-8 2.1 mg . 2020 Holding at 2.1 mg

2019 125 mg lyrica, 15th july 124,5 mg, 22-7 124 mg, 29-7 123,5 mg, 4-8 124 mg 2020 holding at 124 mg

2015 january building up my medication to 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline for face ache after a rootcanal treatment at the dentist. 2016 february start tapering lyrica from 450 mg to 200 mg 2016 october tapered 25 mg amitriptyline to 25 mg 2017 tapered lyrica from 200 mg to 100 mg 2017 september tapered my last tablet of 25 mg amitriptyline to zero  (horrible muscle pain started) 2018 february tapered lyrica from 100 mg to 75 mg (my muscle pain got worse and I have a lot of nervepain in my arms and legs, sometimes all over musclepain and nerve pain and burning pain) 2018 may reinstated 25 mg lyrica. My current dose is 100 mg lyrica. My pain is still very bad but a little less intense, my mood improved. 2018 since 22th may updose amitriptyline.  9 beads. 2018 june updosing lyrica. 2018 16 th june 125 mg lyrica and 9 beads amitriptyline ( 2mg) Now I'm doing a long hold. I can't taper anymore. Too much pain. I hope to stabilize and improve while holding. I'm trying graded activity to get rid of my pain. 2019 1 jan. Lyrica 125 mg (holding) 2019 1 jan. Amitriptyline tapering from 9 beads to 8 beads (1 jan. 2019),  8,5 beads (5 jan 19), 9 beads (16 jan 19) tapper attempt failed

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  • Mentor
12 hours ago, Guilietta said:

We have been wronged and taken advantage of by the medical 'industry' (MDs, pharma, hospitals, insurance companies, pharmacies,etc., etc.). I resent the time that has been taken from me when I have been unable to fully function and researching this - when I'd much rather be doing something else and rely on trusted experts (few and far between - which I've learned the hard way).

 

The stigma of neurological illness and 'mental health' (where did this come from?) is appalling.

 

Did you have trouble getting on gabapentin? It took me more than 3 months of daily nausea, dizziness and extreme fatigue - 30 minutes after a dose for about got 1.5-2 hours - then a good hour. This was increasing gradually from 300 mg (again - was taken for seizure management not mood management or pain management - I don't know what those dosags may be).

 

I so agree. And time is the most evil theft because you can never get it back. 

Appalling is a great word for mental health and neurological condition stigmas.

 

Yes! I had trouble. I was actually put on it twice. The first time was for my restless legs and they started me at 300 mg. I took one or two pills and it made me feel really weird so I declined to take it. The second time was for "anxiety." I told the psych MD it made me feel weird and she said, 'Oh, they started you way too high! I'd start you at 100 mg.' I was so desperate at the time due to a situation I was going through--and well, the rest is history. :(

 

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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5 hours ago, Melissa5000 said:

As you are on a much lower dose of gabapentine now I don't expect the side effects of gabapentine to flare up. That would not be logical to me.

I do however recognise the situation where in you are physically busy and you hurt yourself during the exercise or shortly after as withdrawal. 

 

 

Thanks for weighing in. I don't think it's gabapentin side effects per se... I was starting to worry about a hypersensitivity drug reaction. But today I learned that's not it. I think it's withdrawal worsening the dystonia originally from the zoloft. But who knows.

 

No danger of over-exercising here, lol. 🤐 The pain is in a really odd spot on the front of my right shin area, on the side near the ankle. It is always in the same place, just like the neuropathic pain in my cheek. 

 

I noticed today that the pain flares up after I've been driving for about 10 minutes. It seems that my right foot no longer likes to be flexed in the driving position. That seems to trigger the whole cascade of events and then the roving pain. It is really weird. Yesterday I had the pain the worst it has been. It was roving, but I was in pain for 2+ hours in one body part or another. Today it has been much more brief. I have also been wondering if a vitamin deficiency could be contributing to all of this. I was specifically wondering about that because it was getting worse every day for 3 days. But now it seems a little better today. Could also have been the lavendar.

 

@Carmie just adorable horse emojis! I am going to try. I think the best thing for me to do would be to start out by observing a riding class. I need to work into it slowly. I feel that I am punishing myself for my weight in "not allowing" myself to be around horses anymore but the truth is there *are* fat riders out there. There is a facebook group of them. The equestrian community can be kind of snobbish and fat prejudice/phobic.  Part of it also is that I've gained all this weight and I don't want to be seen by people who knew me when I weighed less. The horse community is small and it's hard for me to show my face. It is very hard. Honestly just being on the ground and smelling them would be so wonderful.

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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  • Mentor
8 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

 You might like his books, Anatomy of an Epidemic and Mad In America. There is a sort of anti-psychiatry movement still today, and this idea that we have created a medical model around human distress and the normal human range of behavior and personality types--you would probably like the work being done by Will Hall and Hearing Voices.

I also want to say that as I have been hanging about these past weeks, I have really been enjoying your thoughtful and helpful posts.

 

Hi Rhi! I haven't heard of RD Laing but I will look him up. Yes, I read Anatomy. It is a phenomenal book! It both impressed and mortified me at the same time. I read it when I was very acutely ill early in withdrawal. Someone on a facebook group suggested it. I haven't read Mad in America yet but I would like to. During that time, I also watched every YouTube video I could find with Dr. Breggin and Robert Whitaker. It was basically a crash course in drug withdrawal, both personally/physically and intellectually. I am still trying to absorb it all because it is so disturbing the way my life has been co-opted by the industry for decades. 😭 I maintain hope that I will start to feel better one day as I reach lower doses of drug burden.

 

I'm glad that you think my posts are thoughtful and helpful, thank you! I feel like it's important to spread hope and encouragement during stable times. Might I say that even before you came back, I was inspired by your simultaneous taper program and your willingness to slow taper. It is very powerful and made me feel like it's ok to go slow! What a great example. And to have the flexibility to come back and reinstate is really great. Good for you!

 

I honestly feel that the worst withdrawals I have experienced were emotional [possibly with the exception of the chorea I had, which was horrible]. I've had the severe emotional states in gaba withdrawal somewhat, but I had them extremely intensely in the past when I fast tapered zoloft. I remember waking up with the dread. I remember the panic. I remember the chemical anxiety. I remember the severe suicidal thoughts. Those states are horrific. So I think it's important to try to instill hope in people who are going through them.   

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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I'm posting my symptom log because I said I would. So here it is.

 

6:45 am Wake up, 80 mg gaba

6:50 am Weird right intercostal muscle contraction. Always in the exact same place. Usually I wake up with it immediately, this time it was after the gaba. It happens a few times and then stops. I hear about people having trouble breathing...I can't imagine if more of my rib muscles felt like this at the same time, it would be scary. I think this is due to overnight wd because I don't usually get it during the day.

7:19 am L knee muscle contraction. I realize my neck is pretty stiff today and my range of motion is limited on the left more so than the right. But the right isn't so great either.

8:05 am L foot arch internal tremor. I am eating breakfast.

8:20 am Driving to work, about 10 minutes into the drive starting to have weird R lower leg/inside of shin pain spasm thing. Then get that feeling roving around the body while I'm driving to work. This is over an hour after my gaba dose so I am suspicious it's intolerance of the driving position not [directly] the drug causing the increase in pain. But I don't know.

8:50 am work parking lot, sitting in car putting on makeup

9:00 am At work, roving pain has calmed down 150 mg zoloft, 100 mg magnesium

10:20 am moderate hot flash

11:05 am 80 mg gaba

2:20 pm moderate hot flash

3:00 pm 80 mg gaba

4:30 pm Driving home

4:45 pm R lower leg/shin spasm/pain roving dystonia thing starts. Having a touch of DR/DP driving home. Tired.

5:30 pm at picking up rx

6:10 pm home. Roving pain has improved. Still seem to get it every few minutes but it's tolerable, not as constant like yesterday

6:30 pm taking epsom salt bath, then relaxing in bed with dogs, on SA

8:30 pm Increase in internal tremors and roving pain.

8:35 pm 80 mg gabapentin. I take it.

8:40 pm Using heating pad on my hamstrings to help relax them. I get the R shin thing pretty soon after. R second toe dystonia, unprovoked, just sitting here in bed.

8:44 pm Wow, the R shin thing is really amping up. I think it's the heat. R knee is now hurting. I am also having a parasthesia on the L side of my face. Turning off the heating pad.

8:48 pm the R shin pain is increasing in intensity. Now I have a weak R neck muscle contraction.

8:49 pm R shin pain again, then R 2nd toe, then R knee pain. Maybe not feeling as much better as I thought today. Sad I didn’t get out to walk the dogs. This has not been a good week for that. R knee pain again.

8:50 pm R knee pain.

8:51 pm R shin pain, then L arch of foot internal tremor, then R 2nd toe cramp. All of this slowly improved after I took the heat away.

9:30 pm 50 mg trazodone

8:55 pm Strong contraction in R shin

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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19 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

I believe Bob Whitaker talks about this in his books, how psychiatry was threatened by this and came on big with the medicalization of everything. You might like his books, Anatomy of an Epidemic and Mad In America.

 

You may watch a lot of Whitaker on YouTube - which is where I plan to watch when I am in the right frame of mind.

 

Here is Part 1 of 4 of the Anatomy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R6MXO2j0V0&t=205s

 

Someone whom I enjoy watching - he is positive (and relaxing) and provides a lot of help on 'presence' - formerly referred to as mindfulness - is Eckert Tolle. He has a YouTube channel as well:

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj9fPezLH1HUh7mSo-tB1Mg

 

 

Guilietta

 

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9 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

6:45 am Wake up, 80 mg gaba

 

Hi ShiningLight,

 

I have taken gaba for years as an adjunct for seizure control. It was developed for this purpose. As pharma sell-in - they prescribe it for pain (I don 'tknow if this is off label). I can say that people I have known (all cancer patients) have taken this drug for pain relief and it doesn't help and the side effects get them to quit. Massage and accupuncture have been more helpful. One of these people had terrible neuropathy in her feet.

 

It was hell for me to get onto. It took more than 3 months. I also find it causes dental problems. I have had 3 crowns, chipped a couple of teeth, split an incisor (and then 20% of it broke off). Good thing for modern dentistry. :)

 

I'm glad you posted your daily schedule and symptoms. I have a few questions:

Why don't you take gabapentin with food? I take 300 mg at a pop and must take with food or suffer nausea, etc. Also, why do you take it 4x a day? It seems they are at irregular times. It is best to keep this at a regular schedule. For example, I am 6.30-7 a.m., 1-1.30 p.m. and 8-9 p.m. every day.

 

Your symptoms appear to be side effects of gabapentin. They are listed and I also experience some of them. More on this later - I have to look into it. Let me know if I forget please. I'm going out to start errands and get coffee and a donut (neither one of which I should have but will).

 

Have nice one,

 

Guilietta

 

 

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 Hi @Guilietta

 

I was put on it for anxiety. The only kind of pain it is on label for is neuralgia after shingles, if I remember correctly. I'm glad you are taking it for an on label use, but sorry to hear about the seizures! I am sorry you are having dental problems too.

 

I don't get nausea if I don't take it with food. I'll look at the bottle and verify if I'm supposed to take it with food. Thanks for pointing out that these are all side effects, I wasn't aware of that. I didn't have these side effects when I was on a higher dose, which is weird. I did have different ones, though. Such as clumsiness (still have that).

 

Dosing 4x/day is a pain, but I'm a little afraid to change that now. With what you're saying about the side effects, I wonder if I should try. I have considered myself to be pretty stable and I'm afraid of messing with relative success. I started doing that when I was at an odd dosing mg for withdrawal prior to switching to liquid, and I've just kept it that way. It seems like I've done better with the withdrawal symptoms taking it 4x vs 3x. The half life is 5-7 hours. I changed my schedule from the past to be 6, 11, 3, and 8. Yeah, I do need to improve re taking it on the schedule I changed it to. Fridays I get up at 6:45, other days I get up around 6. I take it at 8 pm to try to space it out from the trazodone. I wait until 11 am for the second dose related to my work schedule, I am usually in meetings that I can't leave from 10-11.

 

Thanks for your questions! I hope you have a great day today!

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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1 hour ago, ShiningLight said:

I don't get nausea if I don't take it with food. I'll look at the bottle and verify if I'm supposed to take it with food.

 

Gaba may be taken with or without food according to my labeling.  Glad you can take it without food - I tried that unsuccessfully. ;)

 

Stupid drug has a short-half life - as you indicated. At a lower dose like you are taking - spreading it out four times a day maybe better than 3 days a day. Agree - stability is  good thing and if it WD effects are consistent and predictable - that is also good.  I actually take 300 - 300 - 400 - the extra 100 at  bedtime is because of the half life.

 

I'm sure you've considered  gradually over a period a days - consolidating the late a.m. and early p.m. doses if consistent times are a problem. I understand the inconvenience of dosing over my 47 years of medication, including managing eating schedules (fun in groups). 

 

CoQ10 may help with muscle pain. It is recommended for people on statins - as statins can also cause muscle pain and wasting (joy). I am on a statin, take CoQ10 (100 mg is hte low dose, which I take) and thinking about getting off the statin.

2 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

I take it at 8 pm to try to space it out from the trazodone.

 

Smart thinking :)

 

2 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

I didn't have these side effects when I was on a higher dose, which is weird.

 

Because they may be WD effect? I found when scanning the list of side-effects of duloxetine/cymbalta - side effects that didn't appear while I was taking the drug  show up in WD! One example is  nerve pain, which this drug is prescribed (sell through again) to treat.

 

The only supplment my neuro has prescribed for me is Folic Acid (1 mg). B/C of dose I get a script.

 

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Hi @ShiningLight

 

Another comment about your WD effects - although a little off the topic for everyone....is that I noticed your taper speed across two meds (partic klonipin and gaba)  what seem quickly.

 

I found this interesting piece about neurontin and clonazepam withdrawals http://benzosupport.org/neurontin_and_withdrawal.htm

 

Aug 8 2019 Cut gabapentin to 80 mg 4x/day liquid Aug 6 2019 Cut gaba to 85 mg 4x/day  Jul 26, 2019 Cut gaba to 90 mg 4x/day. Jul 16, 2019 cut traz from 100 to 50 mg.

Jul 11, 2019 Cut gabapentin to 95 mg 4x/day liquid Jun 17, 2019-July 10, 2019 Slowly changed each dose gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d

Apr 24, 2019 Stopped klonopin. Apr 22, 2019 Klon .0625; Apr 18, 2019 Cut klon to .125

Apr 15, 2019 Started Klon taper at .1875, 25% cut from .25 dose--short use

 

 

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Thanks @Guilietta. Fast MD taper of gaba with disastrous results and partial reinstatement. My klon was short lived and I wasn't dependent thank goodness!!!!

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Dear @ShiningLight

 

I am glad you were on klonipin for a short - time - I see that on your history as welln- and made tapering off easier. Fortunately not significant WD issues. I've been on clonazepam for many years - and I think it will be the last drug I try to taper.

 

I had unpleasant effects reducing levels of gapa - and after making it from 1300 down to 700 - I ended up moving back to 1000. I think this was too fast. At this point the issue for me were auras (as gaba is for seizure mgmt).

 

 

Dear @ShiningLight@Carmie@Rhiannon@Melissa5000@intothewoods

 

Pursuant to our discussion of how the medical industry weaponizes anti-depresant medications, I came across this very recent article this morning:

 

https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/09/10-reasons-why-psychiatry-lives-on/

 

I had been investigating what organization (like Physicians for Responsible Medicine - which has zilch on this) which may be lobbying against the perpetuation of anti-depressant prescriptions.

 

We are taking back control of our lives - bit by bit.... :)

 

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone,

 

Guilietta

 

 

 

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I'm having some emotional yuckiness tonight. I don't appreciate having it. I feel agitated.

 

It seems I'm always tired and having low energy on withdrawal thing. I think I saw there was a thread on that in the symptoms forum. I will hop on over there and take a look at it soon. I can barely get out of bed in the morning most of the time. This morning I slept through my radio blasting for half an hour. I'd like to get up early and walk my dogs before I go to work but I can't seem to get it done.

 

I'm feeling a lack of purpose and heart in my life currently and it really bothers me. My job feels like a bit of a grind and I have a long commute. The weekends go by way too fast. Yet I'm not sure that I have the initiative to address my work situation because that would take some real creativity. Also I'm not sure I'm ready to do that career wise, I would like to wait a bit.

 

I'm in a rut. I would like my life to be more fulfilling. I can think of some things I might like to do but my follow through is so poor! I start things and don't finish them. I think part of that is the zoloft. Not that I get a free pass because it's drug induced.

 

Plans with a friend fell through, so I went to a movie by myself on Saturday. I used to do that a lot and I had stopped. When I was so sick, I got out of the habit of doing everything. Then Sunday I went to goodwill and bought a novel and then went out to lunch. That outing was more fun than I thought it would be.

 

Another part of the yuckiness is that I had to work 4 hours over the weekend in addition to my regular hours during the week. So I am not rested from my job and I feel irritable about that. I front load my work week, so Monday is the longest day. So I've just gone from working on the weekend to working a close to 10 hour day today. All of that is a part of what's going on with me now. Anyway, thankfully tomorrow is a shorter day at work.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent.

 

PS I bought a shiatsu massager for my neck and shoulders! I am excitedly awaiting its arrival. It's designed like a scarf that goes around your neck. There are armholes for your arms which is how you control the pressure of the massage. It also has heat. My massage wand is of limited use because I have to move it around on my back myself, which kind of defeats the purpose. 

 

PS I am thrilled to say that yes, I continue to be ecstatic that I'm not in therapy anymore. :lol:

 

 

 

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Hello ShiningLight,

 

I am happy to know about many things you said - that you are ecstatic  😁 to not be therapy anymore, that you bought a shitsu massager (let us knkow how you like it!) and that you had a nice time at the movie (what did you see?), and finding a book on Sunday. ;)  Those are successes, things to look forward to, and top-down brain activities - turning all these into a positive - and you indicated that - things worked out well. Kudos!

 

Our negative belief system is learned -  which does not serve us. The positivity is a personal goal to help lift us out of rut, moving forward, and it is a bit of work. I struggle with turning challenges and feeling lousy into positivies -  but it is how to get off and stay off these drugs and live happily ever after. 

 

(I'm going to start a threard on this I think). 

 

My plans on Sunday also didn't come about - my own decision based on more information - number one being the cost. I thought it would be based on how many apples you picked - but it was $35!!! But I went out alone, saw some familiar faces - and that went OK. It was only to the farm stand for a few things and window shopping I can't remember waht else - but it worked out OK.

 

Argh. Been stuck in a run so many times - and setting goals on something that gives you energy and fuels your passion.  Goals that we can accomplish, measure (did we get them done?), and track our success - is helpful to me.  Since you may not't have a lot of time (I gather from work and commute) picking off a less stressful goal (minimize tight deadlines?). Maybe the goal could be volunteer at the local food pantry - and say you will do this 2x a week. Or write newspaper article? Or teach a class on something you love at a community center? Or a video blog? 

 

The work thing. I've been there - hard job - long commute  - unfulling - want a new job which is better and less commute. And you don't have the time/energy to think outside the box. I have been in this situation with most of my jobs and know so many others who are and have been.  I am not working now - and think I would be better served to be working - so that is my #2 goal. #1 is dealing with this duloxetine situation.

7 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

I can barely get out of bed in the morning most of the time. This morning I slept through my radio blasting for half an hour. I'd like to get up early and walk my dogs before I go to work but I can't seem to get it done.

 

Slept through alarms many a time. It can put my morning off on a bad start.😕

 

To help with getting up and walking the dogs - have you asked what you do to increase the chances of this? Maybe set the things you need to do this before you go to bed? Walking shoes, leashes, whatever clothes you wear, etc.?  I do this with exercise - sneakers, shorts, etc. are out. I am much more likely to do this if it is easier for me to do.

 

7 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

I would like my life to be more fulfilling. I can think of some things I might like to do but my follow through is so poor! I start things and don't finish them.

 

Here, here. I and most people I think are the same.  A few things that may help me (and which I need to follow!) and mayabe y,canhelp you:

  • Discipline  - Motivation is not enough. I need to make up my mind that I am going  to finish the afghan before starting the scarf! I think I get bored with big projects and drop them. So discipline is important.
  • I think what might help is having fewer projects. Determine that I have only so much energy and attention after work and life to work on my personal goals or hobby. 
  • Write these down. A good friend, who was productive and successful at so many things, indicated she would right a  goal down- put it in a visible place - and look at every time she walked by or sat at her desk.
  • Do a little bit a week - write down your accomplishment - moving forward is enough to keep you moving and thinking positive about yourself. Depending on your goal - you can set targets (which move!) for waht you will do and when.
  • Focus single mindedly on your goal. Hard when you are distracted I know.

And of course  I'll let you know how this all works out when I start to implement these practices!

 

What can you take from your Monday schedule and move to Tues or Wed?  Lousy about working on the weekend.

 

Big hug. I know exactly how you feel.

Guilietta 🤗

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@ShiningLight - Be kind to yourself.  When I think of someone I care about - a close friend - I often treat them better than myself. I could not tell her she never gets anything done - even if she thinks she doesn't - or if her her hair doesn't look good. 😉  - even though I may berate myself for the same. Does that make sense?

 

I have to go and call the compounding pharmacy.

 

Hugs,

Guilietta

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14 hours ago, Guilietta said:

And of course  I'll let you know how this all works out when I start to implement these practices!

Big hug. I know exactly how you feel.

Guilietta 🤗

 

:lol: Thanks Guilietta, your ideas are so helpful!

 

Sorry to hear about your plans. I agree, $35 is a lot for apple picking!!!

I saw the Linda Ronstadt movie and enjoyed it. The most I can probably volunteer is once or twice a month. I've been thinking about doing that. I would like to volunteer to help with immigrants. There is a nonprofit nearby that does that.

 

What a great suggestion re setting out the dog leashes and planning for success in that way!!! In addition to that, I think one of the best things I can do is get enough sleep so I can get out of bed in the morning! Towards that goal, tonight I kept my lights down low to set the mood. I’m wearing my computer glasses right now and I am going to bed soon.

 

You hit the nail on the head with your comment about discipline. That is something that has always been a challenge for me. Like you, I am apt to start things and not finish them. Over time, that behavior has slowly eroded my self confidence.

I’ve had this idea (and practice, for decades—and it’s gotten worse over time) that I “shouldn’t” have to do any “work” after work, such as cleaning, preparing meals, etc. Well, tonight I decided how better could I spend my time after work than caring for myself?

 

As a result, I had a lovely evening tonight! I took a bath, washed my sheets (I never do that on a weeknight!), hopped on the exercise bike for a slow ride (just getting re-started). I made oatmeal for breakfast tomorrow. I took the dogs on a short walk. I used my sinus pulse machine. It was a relaxing and nurturing evening and I feel cared for by me. I had an extra hour to spend at home tonight because of my work schedule.

Best of luck as you work towards your goal of employment. It can be challenging to balance sometimes but is an accomplishment to feel good about if you can swing it! Also as others have said it can help to keep the focus off withdrawal symptoms.

 

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Hello @ShiningLight

I am glad I made some useful ideas!

 

The Downtown Abbey movie (I heard from friends who saw it recently) was enjoyable for them. Maybe it is one to put on your list.

 

You are right about volunteering 2x month, etc. The more we diversify our activities - we take focus away from our goals. Some of us more so than others - I'm easily distracted so when I am pulled in different directions (I am a people-pleaser - have trouble to say no because pepople won't like me ... - which doesn't serve me all the time probably)  - then I don't have attention to focus on what is most important to me. There is the satisfaction of helping others.  I am looking for a new charity. I think in addition tohelping others - you meet other peoplel who share your values.

 

However - we have a lot of things of an urgent/important nature  that are beyond our control that frequently intervene - which prevent us from meeting targets. So I let some things drop to relieve stress.  Yesterday I did not get to work on my job search. I spent all day working on health related stuff. I learned my drug insurer now considers lamotrigine ER as a tier 4 so I have to deal with this (which will take time, is an  big anxiety issue) and is one of these beyond our control issues that steals time for those important goals.

 

7 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

I can do is get enough sleep so I can get out of bed in the morning! Towards that goal, tonight I kept my lights down low to set the mood. I’m wearing my computer glasses

 

I am thrilled you had a relaxing andpeaceful evening where you did things for yourself, that you enjoyed, and made you feel better about youself! All positive t hings! Did you sleelp better too? I think these are activities where you can be in the moment (i.e, not thinky) and relax.

 

At work - can you indicate you really need to leave the office by x time (so you have the timeyou need to take care of yourself?). Employees who have kids at daycare (for instance) can leave by x hour to pick up kids before day care closes.

 

For me in a job - I know I will need time in the morning to exercise and time in the evening to take care of myself. This means a short commute, a less demanding job (and less money), but greater well-being. :)

 

Success builds confidence - even what we might think as 'smaller' achievements -  I will start with the sweater has been awaiting me to sew a button back on the sleeve - for 2 months. I see the thing in a heap on my dresser every day. I am going tno feel so good and be so proud of myself when it is done....(for example).  also  - the night before - write no more than 3 things down to do a day - and put a check box after you complete them. Accomplishment!

 

Doing unappealing things early in the day - when we have the most willpower - is a good way to go (calls we don't want to make. exercising...). And those successes can give us  confidence to tackle other things...som

 

A few things I have been advised to help with evening rituals  - some may help with sleep -

  • Stay to a pattern. Go to bed at a certain hour every night.
  • Our brain remembers during our sleep what we are thinking about 3 hours before bed (isn't that funny?) - so we are advised to think positive thoughts only the 3 hours before bed. When I catch myself thinking anything negative - I stop myself and remind myself about positive thoughts only. Writing down the to do's, worry list, should happen before then. The notion is to elicit a relaxation response.
  • Write down gratitude and positive expectations - for yourself, others, and the world in general - and reflect on each one for about 10-15 seconds. The notion is to elicit a 'relaxation response.
  • Practice 'presence'. For 20 minutes - don't think about anything. Just 'be.' It's a hard concept to learn. I am learning and should write more about this separately for everyone.
  • I look forward to going to bed - Two things I also invested in - and appear to help - are a weighted blanket and black out eye pads that have some pressure for over the eyes. the eye mask is amazing - it's like it sends a message to your brain to go to sleep! It's relaxing. They are about $10 or $15 on Amazon.  It makes bedtimie an opportunity to relax.

Well, I've gone on and on. I need to jumpon the treadmill. I spend too much time on AD and need to limit myself so I can meet some of my goals.

 

Have a nice one,

 

Guilietta

 

 

 

 

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Can't remember if I took evening dose already. Suspect I took it early tonight by accident. Liquid so no way to know. What should i do?

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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  • Mentor

Dose mishap turned out ok

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Glad to hear it turned out okay!

2014: Paxil 20 mg - 1 year - protracted withdrawal that lasted years

2019: Venlafaxine XR 37,5 mg - 1 pill - instant adverse reaction

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  • Mentor

Thanks @Guilietta and @Len189. I think I accidentally took it 2 hours early (but still not 100% sure). Suspect that because I'm not blown up in withdrawal this morning. 

 

I have a system but it failed. I was tired and out of it yesterday. Only remembered what happened because I remember having heartburn and taking applesauce to help and thinking it was maybe due to gaba on empty stomach.

 

I'm still tired and out of it today. Addressing sugar and caffeine habit. Had neither yesterday hence the extra fog. Also was upset about a situation at work yesterday. Still upset about it today. I didn't handle something directly and now I have to revisit it which is awkward. 😣 I think this is going to be a rough day. I'm running on fumes I'm afraid.

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Hi there

 

GABA on an empty stomach causes me nausea - even though the label (and MD) says it can be taken without food.

 

Sorry about the stress right now - I think the system for medication taking broke down last time perhaps due to faituge and stress. This is when I forget this (which is rare) and other things. Do you have a 'pill case'? I do - as I take meds 4x day - I fill it on Sun mornings (generally) and if I think I forgot - I check the box. Generally I do OK.

 

The dulox liquid crap is a different case. I keep a log and every day write down how much I took (after I take it). This is also where I capture symptoms.

 

Since you're also a veteran at this - I'm sure you ahve a good system. But just my 2 cents if it is worth it to you.

 

Sorry about the grief at work. I had one of those two weeks ago with an acquaintance and am still in disbelief (and yes upset by it). It will work out and keep me posted.

 

 

Hope your sitution today goes well!  🤗

 

Guilietta

 

 

 

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Hello @ShiningLight

 

How are you ? I have been thinking of you and wondering how you were doing with 'getting things done'? I think you and I chatted about this last week. Well, connsidering I felt pretty decent - I worked on my resume for about 2 hours (some progress but did not meet hte goal) and I did not get the button sewed on my sweater due to lack of supplies.

 

On 9/26/2019 at 9:21 AM, ShiningLight said:

I'm still tired and out of it today. Addressing sugar and caffeine habit. Had neither yesterday hence the extra fog. Also was upset about a situation at work yesterday.

 

Did you decide to take quitting the caffeine or sugar separately? How are you doing with that and the energy. I have eliminated my 1 pm coffee so I am more sluggish in the afternoon (so I have coffee in the a.m. only). Big deal is pumpkin flavored for a limited time only.  :)

 

How is the work situation? Any improvement or closure?

 

Giuilietta

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  • Mentor

@GuiliettaI am on the liquid gaba. My system is to take 4 vials out of the plastic box in the fridge, that's the day's doses. I take one in the morning, put 2 in my work bag, and have one remaining when I come home from work. However, on the fated day, I had to make room in the fridge for some stuff I bought while shopping and I either moved, or took, the 1 remaining dose right when I came home. I don’t know which because I also have a few random vials in the back of the fridge. I need to get rid of those, then I won’t be confused.

 

I am still turtling along in terms of getting things done. Glad you worked on the resume! My situation at work...basically I had to revisit 3 separate issues because I needed more information and hadn’t done a good job. I was putting it off. I dealt with 2 of them and have one remaining. So I can feel good about that.

 

I actually decided to leave Friday without finishing 2 of my projects, so they are overdue. We’re allowed a small percentage of overdue projects prior to being considered out of compliance, but it’s rare for me to allow myself to leave with stuff undone. It felt good to do that, it had been a rough week and I was past the point of diminishing returns.

 

Today I overdid it and walked the 3 mile course at the Alzheimer’s walk instead of the 1 mile. It was really fun and felt great to be out doing something for the community. However I can barely get out of bed now. I am down for the count. I’m used to walking about 2 miles or so max; more typically one mile.

 

This week has seen an uptick in symptoms. I have been putting a ton of cinnamon on my oatmeal in an attempt to avoid sugar, and today I started wondering if that might be it. I was researching cinnamon on here today. Looks like most are ok with it but a few are not. Could also be withdrawals from sugar. I had a piece of mousse pie today though, so I broke my sugar fast. It only lasted 3 days but it was something! I also didn’t know the cinammon in high amounts can be toxic to the liver. I had no idea. I was just pouring it onto the oatmeal. It was probably about ½ tablespoon, if not more.

 

It could also be because I decided to re-try the lavendar essential oil bath. Since I had been feeling better I wanted to test it to see if that’s what REALLY was causing the increase. I think it was. Hard to believe just a few drops of lavendar oil in a big tub could cause a problem. Or, it could be all of the above, and then some. I have also had the neuropathic pain in my cheek at times and the dystonia has been acting up. Symptoms remain at a tolerable level.  

 

I’ve been learning more about dystonia and apparently it can get very bad to the point that it requires hospitalization. This is upsetting. Because mine is drug related I’m not sure how this is going to go. I admit to being scared. It seems that if my original dystonia is a Zoloft side effect, I don’t entirely understand why it would get worse in withdrawal of gabapentin. Can anyone explain that? There has to be some explanation. Or maybe it’s a gaba side effect but why would it only come up now? I wish we had a better understanding of the brain.

 

Hugs to all fellow travelers tonight.

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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Hello ShiningLight, @ShiningLight

 

As it is late and I should not be at the computer - I'm shutting down now and will respond to your nice message tomorrow. I'm glad you were out enjoying the fresh air with others and doing something of value to the community. Doing stuff for others does make us feel better!

 

I am glad you left work early on Friday. I think people should do that periodically....  :) and particularly after a difficult week.

 

I looked up dystonia. It is associated with gabapentin in a big way. Read different things - from it is used to treat and is effective (at low doses) - and 'well tolerated' (don't know where that came from). I also found this article...abstract is informative.   Dystonia Induced by Gabapentin  ...https://www.researchgate.net/publication/8087892_Dystonia_Induced_by_Gabapentin

 

One question - is do you 'truly have dystonia' - in words of researchers in a movement disorder journal.

 

Exertped about GABA from a journal article: "GABA is an inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain andspinal cord. In addition to the MSNs, GABA is presentwidely in neurons subserving basal ganglia circuitry. The role of GABA in dystonia pathophysiology remains un-clear."

 

Tehre are several types of dystonia (I didn't know this!)  Gabapentin is used to treat dystonia as are benzos so as you are withdrawing from gabapentin the symptom is not surprising. I have some ataxia and trouble swallowing - a type of dystonia (the latter is really unsettling - sometimes you feel like you want be able to breathe). 

 

I read that a lot of voluntary muscle action (think the 3 mile walk today?) may trigger dystonia.

 

Sorry this is jumbled. Maybe you can copy/paste more info about your dystonia - if you have previously posted - when did it start? (was it associated with any dosage changes - or how far from a dosage change) ? has it become worse or better? changed in any way? change in frequency?  I will see if I can learn a little to help you.

 

Today I was at the mall. Lots of walking around and overstimulation - and overwhelming. Couldn't focus. Anxious, agitated and couldn't focus on the sales person trying to help me. Started feeling better when I left, got in car and started driving.... I wasn't myself but it passed.

 

Don't worry about the dystonia. I didn't see anything about hospitalization - and looked at lots of stuff. :) We can be our own worst enemy. If it will put your mind at ease - maybe the neurologist is the person to see? I think a movement disorder specialist?  When I had acute ear pain and really bad tinnitus - I went to see an ENT. I was so worried about hearing loss and had done research into this like you and the dystonia. The hearing test indicated that my hearing is good. :) My mind was at rest. And - the first thing the MD asked - was if I was getting of ADs!!!!

 

You have sweet dreams.

 

Giuilietta

 

p.s. and I am ont he computer too late - even with my amber glasses. boo hoo.....better have some warm milk with sugar to help me sleep :)

 

 

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That was very helpful, thanks. Yes, I have drug induced dystonia, recently diagnosed by a movement disorder specialist. Looking back it started with zoloft in 2004 and it started only in my toes. Over the years, it progressed to my hips, where it was triggered by horseback riding. As I've been on gabapentin, the range of motion that triggers the hip dystonia was decreased, ie I get the hip dystonia more easily now. And now while withdrawing from the gaba, I get it in my shins and other muscles that didn't have it before.

 

I got the movement disorder specialist as a second opinion by causing a huge ruckus at my HMO by going to the emergency room all the time. It really was no laughing matter because I was very ill with gabapentin withdrawal (only we didn't know that's what it was). I couldn't get the help I needed outpatient. They have the right to deny care, but I have the right to go to the emergency room, and so I kept doing it because I thought I was dying and I had no answers. Eventually they stop giving you much of anything at the emergency room. In fact, by the end, the emergency room doctors were saying things to me like, "A movement disorder isn't an emergency." So it became kind of hostile--I was objecting to their lack of access to care outpatient, and they were not happy with me for continuing to come to the emergency room. They were telling me that sure, I could go to work like that, but I would have scared people I work with and so it really was interfering with my life and we needed to get to the bottom of it. Anyway, it was a very frightening and humiliating time for me. I did feel that I lost my dignity in the healthcare system.

 

I finally managed to obtain a neuro consultation in the emergency room because I was sobbing and begging the emergency room doctor. The neuro, when he came, said I had probably had conversion disorder and "this too shall pass." I was livid. My primary care doctor is smart and I think he thought the neuro's diagnosis was bologna as well, so he's the one who got me the second opinion consult with the neuro movement disorder specialist. That's how it all went down. Maybe it's earlier in my thread but I thought I'd retell the story.

 

And you are absolutely right--the walk has amped up the dystonia tonight. Not during it, but a few hours after...wow. Now I know.

 

These psych drugs are nothing to be fooled with. Too bad they are rx'd so casually.

 

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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HI there

Thank you for summarizing. I have very blurry vision so please ignore typos, etc. I had just written you a lengthy reply since 8.30 and someone closed the tab before sending. I'm so frustrated. I put so much information down and now it is gone.

 

Really sorry about the nastiness of the MDs (pleasat ones are few and far between)(. They are probably nasty and try to make you feel bad because they can't admit they don't have an answer to your complaint (not that there isn't one - they don't have it).

 

dystonia is treated with both gaba and clon. You came off the gaba way too fast. I done the math but can't't again now. I think you are taking 1/4 of what is recommended for 10% / month rule - and with the numbers going down more slowly as you get closer to 0 - that should slow down more. GAPA and clonazepam both act on the receptors that control dystonia. Within the rapid decrease of gaba  you came on and off clonazepam. You are still on the cause of the problem - the zoloft.

 

Until I had figured out what to do (or if you should stay stay where you are) I would scale my physical activity back. Short walks. One physical activity (like cleaning?) a day, or whatever physical activity you do to minimize symptoms. If it was me - I would work eith the MD to potentially increase gaba (not sure to how much), stabilize (however long this takes?), and then start reducing the zololf.  I would check out some dystonia sites to see what you can do form a non-pharmacy approach. I know that botox was suggested for me for my neck tremor but decided I could live with the tremor as it flares up during the cold and during stress.

 

For the bruxism (which I have - I wear a nightguard religiously - and somtimes during the day too).

 

http://www.denvernaturopathic.com/news/GABA.html

 

I have to spend far less time on handling my AD WD issues. I think this may often be more of a trigger for anxiety.  Today I have to decide what to communicate with my MD about going to 1 mg or .5 mg of dulox (I think I may be getting about .8 mg now - assuming I actually get 10% of what I am taking). Otherwise I should just live ith the WD.

 

Not sure what to do or what to say to the MD. I dn't need to piss him off any more than I have. He writes the clonaz scripts.

 

Try to rest and relax and do pleasurable thing today. Let your body rest after ysterday.

 

Good on staying away from caffeeine (maybe decaf?) and nonni's biscotti if you like sweets don't have a lot of sugar in them. :)

 

Have a nice day. Don't let me the nastiness in ERs and th eMDs try to make you feel bad. Don't give them your power.

 

Hugs,

Giuilietta

 

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1 minute ago, Guilietta said:

You are still on the cause of the problem - the zoloft.

 

Until I had figured out what to do (

 

Sorry - wasn't complete in my email and just remembered...

 

first sentence should have been , 'you are still on the apparent / initial cause of the problem'

 

I think I would be inclined to gradulaly in crease the gabapentin until WD subsided to a tolerable level, stabilize then hold, and taper down the zolof. But - I'm not sure of the details of your situation, etc. I'd work this out with my MD. She and I work as a 'team' which is a good approach.

 

I'd also ask the MODs.

 

Gaba is a hell of a drug. As I've mentioned before - it took me more than 3 months to adjust to the 1800 mg dose. Dropping even a small amount (100 mg) causes breakthrough seizure activity. What a life...

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