readyfortheworld: Introduction from Texas

[readyfortheworld]

Hello everyone, I’m a 25 year old male from Texas. My journey started January 2016, when I experienced a panic attack (that appeared to come out of the blue) on my way to visit my sister while I was riding a bus. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I felt like I was about to pass out. From that day on, I started to have panic attacks that would last all day for several days. I wasn’t sure what was going on so I asked my mom to take me to the doctor. The doctor said I was having panic attacks and also anxiety. He prescribed me a Mexican medication named Adepsique (I live in a border town and decided to go there  since health care is way cheaper there than in the US). I took that medication for around 6 months and started to have suicidal ideation and just felt in a low mood most of the time. I attributed those symptoms to the medication and “tapered” off it fairly quick. Once I was fully off it, I started to have unbearable insomnia/anxiety and wasn’t able to sleep for about two days. I felt like I was going crazy so I asked my mom if she could take me to an actual psychiatrist and she obliged. The psychiatrist prescribed me 10 mg of escitalopram and 2.5 mg of olanzapine. I don’t really feel like it helped that much but I felt better on it. I decided I didn’t want to be on medication for the rest of my life so I decided to start tapering it off. I might’ve tapered too quickly off it but I was just anxious to get off those medications. I don’t really remember how long the taper lasted but I was off both medications by the last week of April 2018. I dealt with several withdrawal symptoms such as suicidal thoughts, anxiety, mild motion sickness, insomnia, irritably, aggression and intrusive thoughts. That lasted most of 2018. Around October of that year, I started dealing with IBS-like symptoms such as stomach pain, frequent gas, constant bowel movements and urgent bowel movements. Most of my other withdrawal symptoms have been reduced but I’m still stuck with the IBS issues to this day. Although I’ve been suffering for these last couple of years, I’ve felt like I’ve grown a lot as a person. I have changed my diet to a whole-foods plant based diet, I exercise daily, and do things I wouldn’t have thought I would do when I was younger. Sorry if this post is too long.

[Gridley]

Hello, readyfortheworld, and welcome to SA.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

The withdrawal symptoms you describe are typical of withdrawal.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

 The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain it really well:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

   On 8/30/2011 at 2:28 PM,  Rhiannon said: 

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

IBS is a common withdrawal symptom.  The information in this link may be helpful:

Irritable bowel syndrome - Surviving Antidepressants

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Please research all supplements first and only add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

You mentioned growing as a result of dealing with withdrawal.  Many members have benefitted from using non-drug coping skills.

 

 Non-drug techniques to cope 

 

This is your introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community.  I hope you’ll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation.  I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but I am glad that you found us.

 

 

 

 

[readyfortheworld]

I know it’s been awhile since I last posted on my introduction due to me feeling a bit better. Unfortunately, old symptoms that I used to deal with have resurfaced. I have started to feel panicky, fear and anxious since this past Friday night. I also have been dealing with this lump in my throat feeling that makes me nauseous and I end up losing my appetite. It might be heartburn or anxiety related. Not sure what triggered my panicky and anxious symptoms as I have not felt like that in years. On the bright side, my gastrointestinal issues have been improving. It has been 19 months since I stopped taking any medication. Any insight would be great. Thanks 

[Erell]

Hi readyfortheworld,

 

Have you been drinking alcohol lately? Getting later To sleep? Been sick ?

 

It is possible that nothing triggered these symptoms: you are 19 months off, and it doesnt seem unusual that people still have waves in this timeframe. 

 

Good news is that these symptoms already went away in the past : they Will go away Again

 

In the mean time, be gentle To yourself and use nondrugs coping techniques.

 

Wish you a Nice day.

 

 

[readyfortheworld]

Hello @Erell,

 

I haven’t had alcohol in years, my sleep has been stable for the most part and I’ve been dealing with some seasonal allergies for awhile now. I honestly thought I would’ve recovered by now since it’s been 19 months since I stopped taking medication. So now I’m wondering, it’s still possible to get waves this far out? 

[Erell]

Hi readyfortheworld 

 

I'm not a moderator, so notice that I don't have all their knowledge about WD.

 

But having waves after 19months doesnt sound unusual : if you read other testimonies, you'll see that a lot of people have waves and symptoms months and years after being off the drug. 

 

This wave Will pass, as they always do 🤗

[readyfortheworld]

Thanks for the reassurance @Erell. I got blood work today to rule out any medical concerns. Hopefully it’s just anxiety/withdrawal issues

[SonGoku]

Hy there,

 

I'm more or less in the same situation as you are, I'm almost 2 years off now and my symptoms have worsened the last weeks/ months.

The good thing is summer was quite smooth, I still had some bad symptoms, but I was able to cope with it.

 

Just as you i was working out a lot: doing yoga, calisthenics, meditation and walking/ hiking/ climbing. I tried to get more in touch with myself and my body. What kind of sports are you practicing?

 

Right now I'm feeling very fatigued, my sleep quality changes more or less from day to day, (not able to sleep or not able to get out of the bed in the morning) i have headaches, and anxiety has increased a lot just as the feeling of meaninglessness.

 

I don't know where this wave is comming from, maybe i did to much and didn't get enough rest.

 

I see it just as you do, I suffered a lot the last years, but i've grown as a person ( I enjoy the little things and try to be humble and greatfull for every single positive moment).

 

Greetings

[readyfortheworld]

Hey @SonGoku,

 

the physical activity I usually do is lifting weights four times a week, walking 1 - 2 miles at my local park, about twice to three times a week, and biking when the weather is warmer. Just like you, I meditate during the weekdays and felt like it made me feel calm until this wave hit me and everything went out of the window. It may be possible we might’ve over exerted ourself during the summer since we felt a little better and that might’ve came back to bite us. I also wonder if the change in weather has anything to do with it since it has been gloomy where I live and the days have been shorter  

[SonGoku]

24 minutes ago, readyfortheworld said:

the physical activity I usually do is lifting weights four times a week, walking 1 - 2 miles at my local park, about twice to three times a week, and biking when the weather is warmer.

 

Wow, that’s quite a schedule, hats off...

28 minutes ago, readyfortheworld said:

It may be possible we might’ve over exerted ourself during the summer since we felt a little better and that might’ve came back to bite us.

Yes it might be. In the other forum, I postet my story, some had the opinion I would have had a relapse of my burnout/ overtaining that occurred to me 3 years ago, mixed with stronger withdrawal symptoms.

 

37 minutes ago, readyfortheworld said:

I also wonder if the change in weather has anything to do with it since it has been gloomy where I live and the days have been shorter  

Yes I was wondering too. Since early October we’ve had mostly bad weather, almost no sunshine and it gets dark at 4/5 pm, it really sucks. I think the weather has a big impact especially on us who have become so sensitive due to the withdrawal.

 

wish you all the best, keep going!

[readyfortheworld]

Exercising and doing physical activities helped relieve some withdrawal symptoms in the past but I might have to ease off of it for a bit. 
 

Even though withdrawal is tough, we must stay positive whenever we can and remember that nothing in life is permanent. My go-to saying during withdrawal has been “this too shall pass”.

 

Hopefully, we start getting some relieve from our symptoms soon and start feeling better again! @SonGoku

[SonGoku]

17 hours ago, readyfortheworld said:

Hopefully, we start getting some relieve from our symptoms soon and start feeling better again!

Oh Yes, this would be just awesome 🙏✌️ And even If I’m hoping for an improve , we never know what the future might bring, it could get even worse. So we might just as well enjoy this moment and try to make the best out of it.

 

17 hours ago, readyfortheworld said:

Exercising and doing physical activities helped relieve some withdrawal symptoms in the past but I might have to ease off of it for a bit. 

I also had the impression that working out relieved my symptoms or at least helped me deal with it in a better way . When I was exhausted from exercising my mind was quiet.

[SonGoku]

Can someone delete this post? It was not my intention to post it in this topic...

 

Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience 

 

SonGoku

[readyfortheworld]

So it’s been more than a month and I’m still not feeling well. I have this weird anxious/depressed feeling that won’t go away, the lump in the throat feeling is still there and is the most distressing thing,  my stomach is bothering me again, and I just feel tired throughout the day even though I’m sleeping around 8 hours. It blows my mind how I’m still dealing with withdrawal 20 months out. I’m also confused about the fact that I was feeling better most of the year until recently, when I started to feel awful all over again. If I knew what this medication would do to me, I would’ve never taken it in the first place. That has to be one of my biggest regrets. Sorry for the rant, just had to get some things off of my chest

[Erell]

Don't be sorry dear, I know how hard it is to experience again all these fellings after a better period.

Good news is that you've experienced great progress until recently : you'll find your baseline back after this bad wave, and maybe even more improvements 😃

 

Hang on ! ❤️

[readyfortheworld]

Thank you for the kind words, @Erell. I become overwhelmed with all these symptoms and sometimes just feel like giving up. I’m kinda bummed out since it’s about to be Christmas and I’ll probably feel like this at my family’s Christmas gathering. I’ve been feeling a little better today and hopefully I keep feeling like this. I hope your healing process is moving in a positive manner! 

[readyfortheworld]

Haven’t posted on here in awhile so I’ll give a quick update. I’ve still been dealing with GERD/LPR symptoms but it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to. It still bothers me from time to time but I try not to give it too much attention. I pretty much accept it and try not to fight it back. Other symptoms that I’m also currently dealing with include: anxiety/ withdrawal anxiety, tiredness, choppy sleep, irritability, muscle aches and tight muscles. 
 

I got an endoscopy earlier today and nothing concerning was found besides a slight hernia, so that’s reassuring. I was prescribed medication for GERD and I’m supposed to take it for 45 days but I’m unsure if I should take it. I’m more than likely still dealing with withdrawal and don’t want to take medication that might cause me more trouble. I would like insight from others to see if I should take the medication or just deal with it while I heal from withdrawal. I don’t want to dig a deeper hole by taking that medication

[peaceandlove]

On 2/15/2020 at 10:54 PM, readyfortheworld said:

Haven’t posted on here in awhile so I’ll give a quick update. I’ve still been dealing with GERD/LPR symptoms but it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to. It still bothers me from time to time but I try not to give it too much attention. I pretty much accept it and try not to fight it back. Other symptoms that I’m also currently dealing with include: anxiety/ withdrawal anxiety, tiredness, choppy sleep, irritability, muscle aches and tight muscles. 
 

I got an endoscopy earlier today and nothing concerning was found besides a slight hernia, so that’s reassuring. I was prescribed medication for GERD and I’m supposed to take it for 45 days but I’m unsure if I should take it. I’m more than likely still dealing with withdrawal and don’t want to take medication that might cause me more trouble. I would like insight from others to see if I should take the medication or just deal with it while I heal from withdrawal. I don’t want to dig a deeper hole by taking that medication

hey how are you feeling now? 🙂

do you still have GERD or LPR @readyfortheworld