Zelnick: fate worse than death from Zyprexa after only 9 days on it

[Zelnick]

Hello,

 

So my story is I was interned in a psych ward due to a bout of stimulant psychosis in February 2015, I had just turned 22 and was taking stimulants to aid in my studies, and was forced to take Zyprexa 5mg for 9 days. I didn't even know and wasn't told what I was taking. I found out later when inquiring about this. During taking this poisonous drug as I was forced to I felt foggier and foggier and foggier, as if my brain was being burned from the inside out. I began to develop akathisia (inner restlessness), I fidget my arms and legs constantly, and anhedonia, and seemed to lose all motivation. I just lied in bed all day and night at the ward begging to be released. Why was I given neuroleptics when a stimulant psychosis resolves on it's own in a short amount of time?

When I was eventually released was I then only to realize the utter destruction of my brain that this infernal pharmaceutical developed in hell had caused:

 

-I have been sleeping 0-3 hours a night for over 4 years, I never become sleepy, tired, or drowsy. I have even been completely wide awake for up to two weeks at a time. When I do sleep, I view the most sickening realistic vivid nightmares imaginable. I do not seem to enter deep sleep at all and allow my brain to rest. I have tried Seroquel, Hydroxyzine, Clonazepam, Mirtazapine for a short time, even benzodiazepines and antihistamines in combination, none of them have any kind of sedative effects on me, no effects at all. Before Zyprexa, in 2008, I tried a single dose of Mirtazapine 7.5mg and slept for two days straight with a hangover. It feels as if my brain has been left permanently ON. 

 

-I have severe cognitive impairment, I read and I read, I do not learn anything. If I watch a movie, the next day I recall absolutely nothing about it. It's as if I have dementia or a severe traumatic brain injury. I had to discontinue my studies as it is impossible to continue and have been on disability since beginning the beginning of 2017. 

 

-I have total anhedonia, nothing brings me joy or comfort. I do not experience 'reward' from any task,- something which everyone takes for granted. All my hobbies and interests are erased, nothing gives me stimulation, literally no task. Don't read books or watch movies or shows or listen to music, nothing is giving me pleasure and the cognitive impairment just worsens it. I am emotionally blunt, the only emotion I have is to cry

 

-Appetite is basically gone, food does not give any comfort and I eat practically nothing most days, I have to force myself to eat, I have lost 25 pounds.

 

-My heart rate and blood pressure has increased dramatically; my blood pressure used to be always 108/68, now it is 150/105, heart rate used to be always in the 50-range, now it is 100-120.

 

-I think part of who you are is your memories, and my memories of years before Zyprexa have been wiped away, they're just locked out, I can't relate back to my childhood which was the happiest time in my life

 

-Deep thought is impaired, my cognition all around feels blunted. No new ideas are formed, my mind is a totally empty void, it's as if I have no internal voice anymore. When I concentrate on my mind all I can see is a completely pitch black void. I can’t picture anything in my head or fantasize/daydream about anything. I 'lose' thoughts all the time.

 

-- I lose words, I struggle to express myself in writing because my active vocabulary is very much fewer words. The words are just gone.

 

-My life is a living hell, nothing is meaningful, I have no prospects of studying, of a career, or meaningful relations with others.

 

Can't think of much anything to write, I have tried everything but nothing works. This drug takes away what makes us humans. Everyday I nowadays spend laying in bed in utter misery and despair and keep having suicidal ideation, I think about death every day. I very much only wish to die. Am I to live to old age in this kind of wretched state? I have not improved, not one bit in over 4 years. I have found some other people describing the same symptoms, other people in the same living in the same hell. I make it quite clear, I can't tolerate this infernal kind of torture for the rest of my life. This is beyond any torture you could ever imagine. I have lost my life to this drug. Everything is lost. I just keep sobbing every day single day, this is just hopeless.

 

Edited May 10, 2019 by ChessieCat
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[Altostrata]

Welcome, Zelnick.

 

I am very sorry you've gone through this. Some people react badly to psychiatric drugs with only a few doses, and the after-effects can last a very long time.

 

Are you taking any drugs now? What is your sleep schedule? Do you spend a lot of time on the computer at night? Is your bedroom completely blacked-out at night? Do you get at least a half-hour of gentle exercise in daylight every day?

 

These suggestions might help your nervous system to settle down:

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

Nightmare While Awake? Sleep Paralysis, Hypnogogic Hallucinations, etc.

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

[bheb]

Hi Zelnick, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It is absolutely cruel what people lose to these medications, and especially when they are forcibly drugged. I am sorry you've had to discontinue your studies. I will actually be graduating college next month by some miracle, but I have to put off graduate school. It is hard to watch your life go by. I know you've been suffering nonstop for a very long time, but I've seen cases here and there where people eventually recover from antipsychotic reactions, even 5+ years down the road. I have faith you'll be able to return to your life, but hang on in the meantime. 

[Zelnick]

On 4/18/2019 at 1:38 AM, Zelnick said:

 

Hi Altostrata and bheb,

 

I still take Methylphenidate XR 36mg in the morning, since the opposite of neuroleptics are analeptics (eg, stimulants) it is the only way to deal with with the total demotivation, without it I have to force myself to do everything, but anhedonia, lack of appetite, severe insomnia and memory impairment are worst. AllDaisy said gabapentin helped her sleep at first, so I asked for pregabalin 600mg, it made me sleep 8-9 hours but stopped working after a month. I sleep in complete darkness but nothing makes my brain shut down, I am wide awake most nights and it is regardless of if I use the computer at night. Before Zyprexa I used the computer until late at night at times but I became immensely sleepy and I used to sleep up to 9-12 hours a night. I do not believe some people have hope for recovery from Zyprexa, I have read so many people describing the same symptoms, it ****s up something real bad in your brain, I am guessing something related to gaba since gabapentin/pregabalin are gaba-derivatives. I used to exercise before this Zyprexa hell but nowadays am too depressed to do that. Really I do not know how much longer I can go on like this. I am just waiting to die, I want to give up my life. I browse sanctionedsuicide daily. I have severe PTSD from this. Some people simply will not heal from Zyprexa, I have no hope for recovery to any degree, I have lost all hope, it has been already over 4 years. How can you explain that such a short round of Olanzapine can lead to such profound permanent damage?

Edited May 8, 2019 by Songbird
mask expletive

[Altostrata]

How long have you been taking Methylphenidate XR 36mg?

 

When did you take gabapentin, at what dosages, what times of day, and how long?

 

You have insomnia? Do you think taking a stimulant might have something to do with this?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Priscilla]

Hi Zelnick,

 

I can totally relate to what you're going through. I took zyprexa for 22 days and am still suffering after 5 months of being free of it (feel free to look at my intro topic). Lets motivate each other to be well.Sometimes I wonder if what I'm going through is psychological as I was not on it that long, but psychological or otherwise, the pain is still there so I get it. I try to take comfort in what people have said about the brain taking time to heal. Wishing you all the best.

 

Priscilla 

[Zelnick]

I have been taking Methylphenidate since 2011 September, it is not the cause of the insomnia, I take it in the morning, it has a duration of action of 12 hours, before I was forcibly given Zyprexa I never really had insomnia in my whole life regardless of Ritalin and slept an average of 9-12 hours of good quality sleep. How can you explain that 9 days of Zyprexa over four years later still has given me all these impairments and I sleep light fragmented sleep of about 0-3 hours. As I've said, my brain is permanently ON.

 

I took pregabalin at dosage of 600mg, for a month, sporadically, for the insomnia. I have absolutely no withdrawals from it when I quit. I take it about an hour before bedtime. When it works I sleep for 8 hours.

 

Zyprexa has destroyed my brain permanently is the underline, I am suicidally depressed all the time and just lie in my bed in utter despair.

[Kronos18]

Hi Zelnick.I’m sorry for your struggle.I know it’s so hard but don’t give up.As one says, you have to take baby steps to get out of the depression.I know exactly how you feel, fatigued, demotivated, but I know also that the brain learns from experiences.I don’t want to upset you, but tell you the truth.You need to get off the bed and give your best everyday, otherwise nothing will change.You can’t just wait it out, the depression isn’t cured by time.You have to cure yourself, start by doing little things, keep in a diary, go out, work out, socialise, your brain will like it.It all depends on you here mate.Hope you get better.

[Zelnick]

I can't do anything, I am so goddamn fed up and depressed, I only suffer, I do not feel joy.

 

Altostrata you have noted this pattern with when it comes to Zyprexa, there are many others here and on different sites have exactly the same symptoms, Destroyed, Lika, Jimkhuynh, alldaisy are some, some simply do not ever recover from Olanzapine, it has potential to **** up your brain permanently. This simply does not constitute a life. I have given up.

[Mewmewkitty]

I am one of those who survived Olanzapine CT and on recovery journey and I simply dont agree with your above post. These medication or particuraly Olanzapine is a fast acting and short half life which means we're around the clock stimulated. Once medication stops without tapering the body goes into shock and tries to recalibrate to get back to normal functioning. This is not done overnight.

 

I was taking Olanzapine over 3 years and experince the symptoms you're experience even thought you took it for 9 days. 

 

Now, 3 years later symptoms slowly start to disappear. Worst anxiety is gone. Intrusive thoughts, pains, appearance changes, depression (the list is seriously long..) also is gone.

 

I dont really understand if you take any drugs now? Or are you here to tell me as an antipsychotic survivor that we dont heal? Cuse we are, maby a tad slower...

[Zelnick]

Well consider yourself lucky but what you don't understand is that people vary when it comes to medication but from my experience is and what some of the other stories I have read is that there are cases exactly like mine who never recover, zero improvement, absolutely NO healing progress, from Zyprexa no matter what dose or duration they took this **** drug, it can damage you permanent is the underline.

 

I shall endeavour to die this year if at all possible. This drug raped me of my life. I have been awake for 4 days in a row now, all I do is lay on this bed rotting away with suicidal ideation and roaring tinnitus. I will kill myself and I will do this proper.

[manymoretodays]

Hi Zelnick and welcome aboard,

 

Nothing has improved for you I take it.  ? Were you able to try any of the more non-drug coping for insomnia mentioned above last month in this post:  Altostrata's initial post to you 

And I am so sorry for the continuing despair and hopelessness that persists in your every waking moment.

 

Do you have anyone you can reach out to now, on the ground as we call it, nearby who might offer you an understanding ear and presence?

 

We have this topic on site:  For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal  if you are up to some reading and further online resources.

 

I also found this:  Finland Suicide Hotlines from the link ^ to international hotlines, dated June 2017.

 

Please don't do something so permanent, when further healing might be just around the corner for you.

And remember, change is the only constant we CAN count on.......or sometimes I use that mantra when I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed........it helps me to know that if it feels overwhelming and impossible at any time.......that this too, CAN AND WILL CHANGE!

 

So hold on Zelnick!  I'm a Finn mainly too!  Although I have, as yet, never lived there, or visited there.

 

I'm also a Zyprexa/olanzapine fairly CT(cold turkey) survivor.  And a survivor of polypharmacy.  I vaguely remember the utter sleeplessness that occurred initially, after I came off it.  What I remember more clearly is the essential walking zombie I became while on it.  My time on it was probably months long and miserable.  Yet, yes.......I fully recovered from any of the changes in my neurotransmitters and receptors that that darn tranquilzer induced.  I did.  And I am being completely honest here.  I'm completely medication free now for over 2 years!  And mostly healed I think.

 

So Zelnick- please reach out "on the ground" now.  Okay?  You matter a lot to this Universe.  I suspect that there might be a bit more than Zyprexa WD, going on at this time, that may have led to your desperation and hopelessness now.  Maybe it's just the continuing insomnia for 4 years too(related to your Zyprexa WD).  I don't know.  I can only encourage and hope that you will reach out more locally right now for help. 

 

And then when the desperation has lifted, come on back and work with us if you would like, for further tapering information, if that is your goal.  Or education and support around tapering and withdrawal.  We really do need more information from you too, when you come back.  The signature that we've asked for above, as well as answering questions after they are asked.  I realize that now may not be the best time to further clarify on all that.

 

You matter Zelnick.  To us all.

Take care for now.

Love, peace, healing, and growth.......it can and does happen for all of us.  Life!

mmt

 

 

Edited May 8, 2019 by manymoretodays
can not can't

[Zelnick]

Altostrata's advice is crap, I never had insomnia in my whole life before Zyprexa regardless of circumstances and nothing helps now, my brain is permanently ON, this pure torture and agony. I have given up. There has been no healing for me made, none. My life is completely over. You people get off drugs easy you are fortunate, well, some aren't, like me. I can't continue existing like this, I don't call this living. I have severe brain damage that is irreparable. Nobody can help.

[manymoretodays]

Zelnick,

 

Where are you at with the methylphenidate now?

And do you have some support where you are?

Will you try to at least have a look at the links I gave?

 

I disagree.......I think the insomnia tips and links might be helpful now.

Did you look at them?

 

I also don't agree that your life is over or that you have severe brain damage.  I do honor that you feel that way right now.  I do.  And that you are in a great deal of emotional pain and distress.  I hope that counts for something or helps you right now.

 

Believe me......I didn't have a cake walk, easy time getting off medications/drugs at all.   I didn't have an easy time while on them either.

 

We can only do what we do here.  It's an internet forum for tapering and education and support.

 

And I am so very sorry that your struggle is fierce, so very fierce right now.

 

Stay alive though.....okay???

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

Edited May 8, 2019 by manymoretodays
elaboration, additional thoughts

[Zelnick]

I take the Methylphenidate in the morning as I have stated prior. Nobody can fix help the brain damage, and that is what I have. Screw your tips they don't work. I don't really even want to talk to people, I want to wallow in my misery.

[brassmonkey]

No one is even going to try and help you if you continue with this attitude.  In your last four posts you've broken enough rules to get yourself banned for life. But because you're new and frustrated we'll cut you some slack.

 

One month ago you were asked for some basic information so we could start sorting out what is happening and offer you some help.  As of yet you still haven't posted any replies.  With out proper information we can't offer any suggestions. Let's start with your signature block like Alto requested.

[manymoretodays]

Hi Zelnick,

Here is what I have pieced together that you could put into a signature if you'd like.  Or let me know if you'd like me to do it.

 

2011 Methylphenidate 36 mg to present

2013-2014  Mirtazapine up to a 30 mg dose at bedtime for 1 yr.,  2 mos taper off

2015 Zyprexa 5 mg for 9 days  ? CT or taper off

approximate date and if still using?  Pregablin 600 mg for one month at bedtime ? taper or CT off

 

It just needs checking by you and then additional information if you have it for the color coded areas.

 

Here is the:  how to do a signature link

And I copied over the following:

 

Your signature appears under all your posts.  (This is viewable below your posts, unless using a phone device.  However you can still create a signature with a phone device.  It's very helpful, for us to see, at a glance your medication/drug history)

 

If your drug history is very long, the last few years will do. FOR READABILITY, SHORT LINES ARE BEST.

 

• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs
• Include ALL drugs, doses, and dates (starting and stopping)
• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (e.g. mid-June) rather than relative time frames (e.g. 3 months ago)
• Spell out months (e.g. "January" or "Jan" as 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as 9 Jan 2016 or 1 Sept 2016)
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses

 

Example:

2001–2002 paroxetine 
2003  citalopram 
2004  paroxetine
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg

 

If you edit your signature, the new one replaces any prior signature. It will appear in your signature under all your posts, even your old posts. If you want to save the information in the old signature, copy it and save it in a file on your computer or in a post in your Introductions topic.

 

(As of 12/31/13: Signatures are limited to 12 lines of text.)

How to add or edit your signature

1. Click on this link to open the correct page in User Settings:
   Create Your Signature in "Account Settings". 
   2017-June 12 update: link works on desktop, tablet and mobile phone versions
    
2. Enter your signature in the space provided.
3. When you are done, Click on the big black Save button at the bottom.

Best,

And L, P, H, and growth,

mmt

Edited May 16, 2019 by manymoretodays

[PoetJester]

Hi Zelnik

 

i just wanted to add some commiseration on the quitting Olanzapine and also having the undescribably horrible vivid nightmares.   I am 5 years off after being on the drug for 15 years.  I look horrible from the sleep deprivation now- huge bags under my eyes- sometimes people who see me get scared i look so terrible.   I still have many of the same symptoms you describe.   

 

i have no real advice- i mostly try to go out on my bike so i am not sitting in my apartment since it makes me depressed.  i take zolpidem now and then to sleep, but that drug is not good for the brain either.   

Poetjester

[Hopefull]

On 5/8/2019 at 12:05 PM, Zelnick said:

I take the Methylphenidate in the morning as I have stated prior. Nobody can fix help the brain damage, and that is what I have. Screw your tips they don't work. I don't really even want to talk to people, I want to wallow in my misery.

 

Hi Zelnik,

I can understand your anger and frustration. Back in 2013, I had a bad reaction after taking 3 Zoloft tablets.

It was hell. Like you,  I was filled with desperation and helplessness.  I could literally feel a wall of darkness in front of me.  I didn't eat, sleep,  endured weird and frightening physical reactions to the drug, mental toruture, intrusive thoughts,  crying spells, the list goes on. 

On top of that,  I was put on Seroquel and Mitrazapine. But I am here to let you know that things do get better and you do improve.  But you also need to try at least a little bit to venture out, carry on with your every day routine. 

Go for a walk. Don't let WDS stop you from living a life. Try to venture out side for at least 10 minutes.  Then slowly increase over time.  I understand you still feel hurt and angry at the doctors that did this to you,  but you are letting anger consume you and that is not good for you. 

Trust me, it does nothing but makes you even more  miserable. 

Are you seeing a therapist?  Can you talk to anyone? 

I really hope that you can reach out to someone and take baby steps to recovery. 

You matter to a lot of people,  to your family and your friends. 

Give your self a chance to heal. Don't give up hope.  That is what got me through the tough times.  I can understand how distressing it is not being able to sleep.  Have you tried alternative medicine?  Accupuncture? Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy? Magnisium? Fish oil?  Aromatherapy for relaxation? Massage therapy? Anything that could be helpful to heal your nervous system? 

I hope you start reading success stories rather than negative posts, that can be triggering to you. 

I really hope that you can give your self a little bit of credit. 

Do you have "window ", periods? 

 

[Zelnick]

I don't want to read any success stories because they do not apply to the situation/reaction I've had from the Zyprexa, currently I have zero improvement after over 4 years, there are no 'windows', there are others in the exact same situation as I am, and no, I will not be going to any therapists (the rapists).

[dj2010]

14 minutes ago, Zelnick said:

I don't want to read any success stories because they do not apply to the situation/reaction I've had from the Zyprexa, currently I have zero improvement after over 4 years, there are no 'windows', there are others in the exact same situation as I am, and no, I will not be going to any therapists (the rapists).

Might want to try a neuro stimulation device and see if helps, hearing a lot of good things about these

[Zyprexa19]

Hey man,

 

i feel for you.

 

this drug sucks. I am currently tapering it. I have gone from 5 mg to 3.4 and am doing ok but desperate to get off of it.

 

i have been researching this subject a lot and it occurred to me that maybe we should be addressing neuroleptic withdrawal symptoms the same way people treat a traumatic brain injury.

 

with that being said therapies involving hyperbaric oxygen and neurosteroids have shown promise at healing symptoms of tbi

 

Neurosteroids like progesterone and allopregnalone And DHEA have all been found to have neuroprotective qualities that help

the brain achieve neuronal homeostasis

 

Also there are currently 2 new treatments for insomnia that are very close to being approved by the fda that might hold promise:

 

Lemborexant and Zuranolone, the latter of which is derived from the neurosteroid Allopregnalone

 

here are some links that might give you a little hope

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/could-hyperbaric-treatment-heal-the-brain/2018/01/26/90b3acfa-df87-11e7-8679-a9728984779c_story.html?fbclid=IwAR0c6qpFsTBsYSMDrFXee-W4h63kpQDuDbpbLqB0vmPLzY5MVQTJyh_jVq8&noredirect=on&utm_term=.f34a74b53d79

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK326734/

 

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6025750/?fbclid=IwAR3Cfkbz8ZBDHQ26fkH5iXobY_mi_WalETazszqGYtxe_pe24HE_KYMTJ7I

 

 

[Hopefull]

17 hours ago, Zelnick said:

I don't want to read any success stories because they do not apply to the situation/reaction I've had from the Zyprexa, currently I have zero improvement after over 4 years, there are no 'windows', there are others in the exact same situation as I am, and no, I will not be going to any therapists (the rapists).

 

Ok. Suit your self. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Zelnick,

Here's what your signature looks like now:

2011 Methylphenidate 36 mg to present

2013-2014  Mirtazapine up to a 30 mg dose at bedtime for 1 yr.,  2 mos taper off

2015, February  Zyprexa 5 mg for 9 days 

Pregablin 600 mg, every other month, for one month, at bedtime for sleep

 

I just added in the additional information that you had given me in PM.

It's viewable below all your posts now, unless viewing from a phone device.

 

 

[nervouspace]

Hey man I just wanted to chime in on the blood pressure thing. I was taking 4mg risperidone from November until this month here in May and now I'm also completely disabled/ruined from it and my blood pressure is also 150/100 now.

 

So I was checking my blood pressure with the blood pressure machines at my library and local grocery store always 150/100 but then I went to my GP 

and they checked it twice manually and it was completely fine. Have you tried having it checked without the machines? Just a thought.

 

Hope you get feeling better

 

 

[Albin]

Zelnick, you have not given up.

otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

 

I’m new Here and my life got totally destroyed by Zyprexa.

 

i totally your frustration. I am declining from being poly-drugged and I have been forced meds even more toxic than Zyprexa. My face and body and genetics are Altered.

 

I experience no pleasure. Life is worthless for me. I don’t believe in recovery at all. I feel I am  braindead forever.

 

And I am negative and constantly complaining. But, I will not give up, even if this is the rest of my life, and you won’t either. Hang in there. I will.

 

because you know what? Don’t let them win. Don’t let Big Pharma and the brainwashed win. 

 

Try. Like you are doing. You are still Here and you are upset and you want to heal.

 

I’m not saying you will recover. But try you must. There are many years left and down the line people like us will get justice and propbably find something that will make life worth living again.

[Zelnick]

This is now so bizarre, when I try to imagine my mother's face, it comes out in my mind all twisted, hellishly mutated, ugly and discombobulated... this Zyprexa drug has raped my brain beyond all comprehension, all I see in my dreams if I do sleep this light fragmented coma, I view the most horrifying realistic nightmares where I am being murdered, I am strangled to death, I drown on a cruise ship, I am being thrown off a balcony... Then I wake up with my heart beating, palpitating, drenched in sweat with severe sleep paralysis for several minutes. This **** has got to end!!!

[Kronos18]

2 minutes ago, Zelnick said:

This is now so bizarre, when I try to imagine my mother's face, it comes out in my mind all twisted, hellishly mutated, ugly and discombobulated... this Zyprexa drug has raped my brain beyond all comprehension, all I see in my dreams if I do sleep this light fragmented coma, I view the most horrifying realistic nightmares where I am being murdered, I am strangled to death, I drown on a cruise ship, I am being thrown off a balcony... Then I wake up with my heart beating, palpitating, drenched in sweat with severe sleep paralysis for several minutes. This **** has got to end!!!

I’m sorry for this happening.Have you tried mindfullness, meditation or breathing exercises?

[Zelnick]

Nothing helps, brain damage is too great. I never was like this before I was forced to take Zyprexa. I don't call this living, my brain is completely shanked...

[Kronos18]

Just now, Zelnick said:

Nothing helps, brain damage is too great. I never was like this before I was forced to take Zyprexa. I don't call this living, my brain is completely shanked...

I think it will help, if you try to reduce stress stimuls, practice mindfulness, exercise, and try to live your live normal again, as the brain learns from experiences, it can relearn to be happy again.Good luck mate, no damage is permanent

[Zelnick]

No damage is permanent? How do you explain that there has been absolutely no healing that has happened for nearly 4.5 years? Zero. As Zyprexa can predispose to conditions like diabetes, which is permanent again, it can cause permanent brain damage in the same manner, I have not improved, none at all over all these years.

[Zelnick]

Then in addition to this severe cognitive impairment, I can't relate to any of my memories before Zyprexa, I mean, I can recall factual stuff, but no happy emotional memories of any kind, it's as if there's a wall in my mind preventing when trying to access them.

[Kronos18]

1 minute ago, Zelnick said:

Then in addition to this severe cognitive impairment, I can't relate to any of my memories before Zyprexa, I mean, I can recall factual stuff, but no happy emotional memories of any kind, it's as if there's a wall in my mind preventing when trying to access them.

What kind of symptoms do you have mate?

[Zelnick]

Well read the introduction, that's the list of what has happened to me

[jozeff]

Ik so sorry for you zelnick,

 

You really feel extremely desperate. Don't give up and don't let the symptoms win. Go outside, take a swim whatever but don't let the symptoms rule your life! 

I know it is incredibly hard ! 

 

I understand that 4.5 years of no improvement gives you very little hope. I feel your despair. Are you visiting a psychiatrist? 

 

I take saffron for my depressed state besides my citalopram and that really helps. Did you try other supplements?

 

How is your social environment? Do you have support? Distraction is key here. When I'm around other people I forget my symptoms sometimes.....

Do some technical stuff or draw something, this keeps your brain busy.

 

 

Good luck and hope you improve quickly!

 

 

Jozeff

[Shep]

On 4/21/2019 at 3:46 AM, Zelnick said:

I have been taking Methylphenidate since 2011 September, it is not the cause of the insomnia, I take it in the morning, it has a duration of action of 12 hours, before I was forcibly given Zyprexa I never really had insomnia in my whole life regardless of Ritalin and slept an average of 9-12 hours of good quality sleep. How can you explain that 9 days of Zyprexa over four years later still has given me all these impairments and I sleep light fragmented sleep of about 0-3 hours. As I've said, my brain is permanently ON.

 

Zelnick, I came off antipsychotics after 30 years use, so I'm very familiar with how they work and what the withdrawal is like. It's brutal. But even after over 20 years on Stelazine and several years on Seroquel, recovery is possible. But it requires getting off ALL psychiatric drugs and learning non-drug coping skills. It's a process. It doesn't happen overnight. But you are young and you were only exposed to the antipsychotic for a few days. You have the potential to get off the stimulant and go onto live a good life.

 

It sounds like you're dealing with multiple issues, including an adverse reaction to the antipsychotic (and I agree with you that Zyprexa is one of the worst antipsychotics out there), as well as an adverse reaction to Methylphenidate, which you're still taking. 

 

You mention the duration of action of 12 hours for the Methylphenidate, but that's a bit misleading. Even at the 12 hour mark, with a half-life of about 3-5 hours, you still have anywhere from 10 - 25% of this drug in your system, depending on how fast you metabolize it. And that's if it's an immediate release; it's more than that if it's an extended form. 

 

The 9 days of Zyprexa likely destabilized your nervous system, making you more susceptible to hyper-reacting to the stimulant. Methylpehnidate is also used for narcolepsy, so having insomnia on it - especially with a destabilized nervous system - is not uncommon. Even if you didn't have insomnia earlier when you were taking Methylphenidate, you can have that side effect now because your nervous system is no longer the same as it was prior to exposure to the antipsychotic. 

 

I'm 4 years off a cocktail of drugs, mainly antipsychotics and benzos - and I still can't drink coffee. Even sugar makes me very anxious and I find it difficult to sleep when I've tried adding in a small amount coffee. So I've had to make changes in diet. This is because my nervous system is destabilized and very sensitive to any form of stimulant. I have a feeling that's why you are still suffering. 

 

Are you open to tapering off the Methylphenidate? If so, let us know and the moderators can help you taper off. 

 

If not, we likely aren't going to be able to help you here. What you are dealing with is profound sleep deprivation. You need to get off the stimulant. 

 

Please let us know what you decide.