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Genesis: so lost and scared, I don't know who I am


Genesis

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I've been on psych medications since I was 14, I'm almost 36.  I've tried almost everything.  I cant do it anymore.  I hate the meds so much I don't want to be anywhere near them.  I'm very tempted to cold turkey them.  I hope that won't kill me, but I can't live this way.

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Genesis: so lost and scared, I don't know who I am
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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Genesis, 

 

Welcome to SA. Please do not cold turkey the meds. You may end up in withdrawals for a long time if you do. Please stay safe. 

 

How long have you been on the Depakote? How many mgs are you on? What time of the day do you take them?

 

When you switched to the Depakote what medication were you on? Effexor? How many mgs? 

 

Did you taper the previous medication or did you cold turkey it and just start on the Depakote?

 

Besides that and the Trileptal, are you on any other medications? 

 

Our brains have an incredible ability to heal, and we can get off these meds. We just have to go slowly. No more than 10% a month. We should never taper though until we have stabilised. You’ve just made big changes so don’t change anything else for now. Please answer the above questions so we may be able to help you. Thank you. 

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Hi Carmie, thanks for replying.

 

I was on Depakote from 2000-2018.  My recent dosage was only 500mg for several years.  I was hospitalized for a second time with acute pancreatitis, and some doctors thought it was because of the Depakote.  It was stopped cold turkey by the hospital for several days.  I did fine, so I didn't restart it until a few months later because I was very anxious.  My psychiatrist told me it was wrong that I did that, so he d/c'd it and asked what meds I've done well on.  So I just told him Trileptal and he put me on that in February this year, 300mg b.i.d.  I have split the 300's and am just taking 150mg b.i.d.

 

Effexor ER was started at the same time, 2000, and I've been bounced around on several antidepressants and just ended up staying on it.  

 

So my meds are:

3600+mg Gabapentin, since 2015

Geodon since 2003, right now 20mg morning 60mg pm, but I just stopped taking the morning dose. 

1mg 3x daily ativan, this will be the last I play with.  I've been on benzos since I was 16.  I'm almost 36.  They are always threatening to lower it.  I had one doctor all last year cut it from 3mg daily to 2mg without my permission.  It was at that time I realized I couldn't do this anymore because I'm in control of my life, not them or these medications

 

Effexor ER is 75mg, I thought I'd just start taking 1 bead out every 2 weeks.  I was recently on 37.5 and was doing fine.  I don't really remember why it was increased.

 

I'm on several other meds that are not psychiatric, though.

 

I appreciate any help and advice you have.  I'm completely overwhelmed.

 

Thank you for the hugs 💜

 

Genesis

 

 

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi again Genesis, 

 

I’m so sorry you’ve been put on so many medications. I’ve been on a rollercoaster ride of medications myself. It all started off with chronic pain, and like you I was on and off a million things.

 

When in 2018 did you stop the Depakote? The anxiety you were feeling a few months later was probably from withdrawals, they can be delayed. 

 

What date did you start it again, and at what dose? What date did you cold turkey it a second time?

 

So as soon as you cold turkeyed it a second time you went straight on the Effexor, is that correct? You started on 75mg and tapered down to 37.5mg? How quickly did you taper?

 

How long ago did you stop the morning dose of Geodon? You said you just stopped it. Did you mean in the last few days or weeks? It is not a good idea to just stop medication. 

 

What month last year did your doctor change your benzo dose from 3mg to 2mg? That was too quick a drop as well. 

 

Could you please tell us what other medications you’re on, even if they aren’t psychiatric medications. Could you also tell us which supplements you’re on as well.

 

What are your symptoms like now? Thanks for answering all these questions. You can get off these meds, but we should only ever taper one medication at a time, and never more than 10% a month. We can do this though! Many have done this before us. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

Edited by Carmie
Typo

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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I'm so sorry you are going through this as well, it's just so unfair.

 

so Depakote was December 2000-Oct 31, 2018.  I restarted in mid-January this year for about 3 weeks 500mg daily, and my dr told me to stop it and then take the Trileptal instead, 300mg am, 300mg pm.  I've been fine.

 

Effexor ER I have been on since i started Depakote in Dec. 2000, I've tried others in between, but ended up staying on it and still am, 75mg daily.  My doctor gave me 37.5mg capsules and I had been taking them for several months after May 2018-August 2018, but I forget why it was increased back to 75mg.  I didn't taper the dose, just went from 75mg to 37.5mg overnight.  I've had terrible doctors.

 

Last year I was seeing a new Dr in January through September.  He didn't want me on 3mg ativan.  He thought it was too much.  I begged him not to drop it to 2mg.  He did so anyway, I think that was April or May, 2018.  He kept telling me he wanted to drop it down to 1mg daily.  Eventually he disappeared, and I saw another Dr.  He increased it back up to 3mg I believe the end of 2018, November or December.  

 

I stopped the morning dose of Geodon, 20mg, last Thursday I believe. 4/18/2019.  I still take 60mg Geodon at night.  That's all I've changed so far, because that 20mg dose was only added in February.  It doesn't seem to help.  

 

Gabapentin was added as a mood stabilizer in 2015, at 300mg.  Then I went to a pain clinic and they took over prescribing it, and diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.  So they increased the dose.  I kept needing it increased because of pain.  So eventually it got to the ridiculous amount of 1200mg 3x daily, and i usually take an extra 1200mg if I need it.  I'm certainly not ready to mess with that one, I've tried.  It's too much for me right now.  

 

I am seeing a new "nurse practitioner" who, on first meeting, threatened to decrease my ativan.  So, I've had terrible anxiety since then, worrying about how to function on a lower dose that I can't handle.

 

As for other medications:

 

25mg metoprolol - I have a fast heart rate, and this decreases it a little.  This helped me get through the drop in Ativan last year.

125 mcg levothyroxine - genetic hypothyroidism

100/25mg losartan/hctz - HBP

4gm lovaza - just omega 3, at the highest dose for triglycerides

potassium

4mg b.i.d. glimepiride - type 2 diabetes

60mg geodon

300mg b.i.d. trileptal

1mg t.i.d. ativan

5-10mg melatonin for sleep

iron 

lactobacillus acidophilus 

lactobacillus gasseri

3 naproxen daily

extra strength tylenol, as needed

1200mg 3-4x daily gabapentin

75mg effexor ER

40mg protonix for GERD

 

I'm feeling fine I guess.  I have no sex drive, I lost that years ago.. which sucks. I keep to myself, so this is all very hard for me to reach out for help.  I appreciate your time and questions.  I hope I have a chance of living a better life than I am now, dependent on all of this medication.  I don't like it.  Thank you Carmie ❤️❤️❤️ 

 

-Genesis

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Genesis.

 

What is your exact daily drug schedule, with hours of day you take the drug and dosage?

 

Did dropping 20mg Geodon last week cause you to feel any different?

 

What is your worst symptom, and what times of day is it better and worse?

 

What condition are all these drugs intended to treat?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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5 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, Genesis.

 

What is your exact daily drug schedule, with hours of day you take the drug and dosage?

 

Did dropping 20mg Geodon last week cause you to feel any different?

 

What is your worst symptom, and what times of day is it better and worse?

 

What condition are all these drugs intended to treat?

 

 

Hi Altostrata,

 

I have no set schedule, but usually when I wake up I will take an iron pill with orange juice on an empty stomach, because im anemic.  I wait usually an hour before taking my morning meds.  I normally wake up between 11am-2pm.

 

AM:

glimepiride- 4mg  - type 2 diabetes

gabapentin- 1200mg  - fibromyalgia

effexor xr- 75mg - depression

losartan/hctz- 100/25mg - high blood pressure

potassium 10ML - i take because my blood pressure pill has a diuretic so its to replace potassium i lose from that

claritin- 10mg - allergies

oxcarbazepine (trileptal)- 300mg - as a mood stabilizer to replace my depakote, i had taken depakote for 18 years

protonix- 40mg - acid reflux

metoprolol - 25mg  - for heart arrhythmia   

levoxyl- 125mcg - hypothyroidism

lovaza - 2G - for high triglycerides

 

usually 4-7 hours later I take afternoon meds:

glimepiride- 4mg 

gabapentin - 1200mg

lovaza - 2gm

 

usually I start taking ativan in the early evening, 1mg, and take another 2 hours later, and then the last at least 1 hour before i try to sleep

 

i take my PM pills an hour before I sleep.

 

geodon - 60mg - supposedly for "psychotic features" due to my "bipolar disorder" that wasnt diagnosed until I was well into the medications, at 23 yrs old

gabapentin - 1200mg

oxcarbazepine - 300mg

 

i recently started taking melatonin, 5-10mg to help sleep if I need it.

 

I dropped the 20mg geodon last thursday, and I haven't felt any different as far as withdrawal.  Since it was added so recently I thought it would be ok to stop it.  

 

As far as symptoms, I don't know.  I tend to be fine.  I feel like I have brain fog, like I never have clarity.  Also I have a very short attention span.  It's hard to even read a book.  I used to read a lot but for over a decade it has been difficult. I feel my best at night.  I am on disability, and have been for 13 years.  I was very agoraphobic before I was given that, but also heavily medicated.  I don't have a baseline of who I am, I was never given the chance to grow as a person before being given medication, starting when i was 14.  I feel hopeless a lot, usually at night.  Usually after going to bed and upon waking, I feel better.

 

Thank you so much for even asking. I hope you have some suggestions on what I can do.  I'm so desperate to be free from these, I will pretty much do anything that is suggested because I would give trust to the people on here rather than the doctors I've seen throughout my life.

 

I can't thank you enough for your time in even reading this.  Thank you so so so much! 

 

Always,

 

Genesis   :wub:

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • Administrator

You're very welcome, Genesis.

 

We will need to know your exact drug schedule, with hours of day when you take your drugs and their dosages. It's best to take at least the psychoactives at the same time each day. Taking them irregularly may cause other symptoms, such as sleeplessness, or even symptoms that may be mistaken for psychosis.

 

When did you develop diabetes and arrhythmia? Did one doctor prescribe all these drugs? Do you have regular kidney and liver tests? How is your pancreas now?

 

Please put ALL your drugs in the Drug Interactions Checker   copy the link to the report and paste it in this topic.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Ok....

 

11am

65mg iron 

 

12pm

 

4mg glimepiride

1200mg gabapentin

75mg effexor xr

100/25mg losartan/hctz

10mL potassium

300mg oxcarbazepine (trileptal)

40mg protonix

25mg metoprolol

125mcg levoxyl

2G lovaza

10mg claritin

 

2pm

1mg ativan

 

6pm

4mg glimepiride

2G lovaza

1200mg gabapentin

1mg ativan

 

10pm

1mg ativan

 

11pm

300mg trileptal

1200mg gabapentin

60mg geodon

 

12am

5-10mg melatonin

 

2009 i was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes

I see a ARNP every 3-4 months for blood tests.  My next testing is in 2 weeks, and my last was mid-February

ALT was a little high at 39, kidneys are always ok, pancreas is better!

 

   When I was 11, I noticed something wrong with my heart.  At 18 I was diagnosed with supra-ventricular tachycardia.  I had an EP ablation to burn the wire causing the arrhythmia at 19 (2002). I was told there was a chance of it coming back.

   About 2 years ago, I noticed the same symptoms from that again. I saw a cardiologist who did testing and prescribed the metoprolol.  It has helped a lot, and it also helps with anxiety because it slows the heart rate.  He says if it keeps happening or gets worse, to come in... but I haven't had issues in a year.

 

Psychiatrist prescribes Ativan, geodon, trileptal, and Effexor, and general dr for the rest.  I saw a new psych dr last month, and she is threatening to lower my ativan.  My doctors dont listen to me or care what I say.  So if I need to taper, I think that one is really important to think about, since she won't taper my way.

 

drug interactions ---> https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1147-0,2296-1523,1488-899,1615-0,1765-1129,1176-0,1548-0,1749-2517,1260-0,1463-3517,1082-13326,1486-898,1912-0,1790-1152,2330-1540

 

Do you want me to add/change my signature?  I'm not sure what to put there

 

Thank you Alto!!!  :wub:

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Genesis, 

 

Thanks for answering Alto’s questions. She’ll get back to you when she’s able to. Just thought I’d pop around and see how you’re doing. I’m happy your symptoms aren’t too bad at the moment.

 

I’m sorry your doctor is threatening to lower the Ativan. As you know it’s best to taper no more than 10% a month. If you taper too quick, or if she cold turkeys you, you may go through severe withdrawals. I’ve certainly been there, doctors have put me on and off all sorts of things, and the withdrawals were horrific. I didn’t know anything about medication or withdrawals at the time, and thought that there was something terribly wrong with me. 

 

Doctors really have absolutely no clue about tapering. You can get scripts for your medication from any doctor, not just psychiatrists. 

 

Please keep us updated as to how you’re doing, sending hugs🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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25 minutes ago, Carmie said:

Hi Genesis, 

 

Thanks for answering Alto’s questions. She’ll get back to you when she’s able to. Just thought I’d pop around and see how you’re doing. I’m happy your symptoms aren’t too bad at the moment.

 

I’m sorry your doctor is threatening to lower the Ativan. As you know it’s best to taper no more than 10% a month. If you taper too quick, or if she cold turkeys you, you may go through severe withdrawals. I’ve certainly been there, doctors have put me on and off all sorts of things, and the withdrawals were horrific. I didn’t know anything about medication or withdrawals at the time, and thought that there was something terribly wrong with me. 

 

Doctors really have absolutely no clue about tapering. You can get scripts for your medication from any doctor, not just psychiatrists. 

 

Please keep us updated as to how you’re doing, sending hugs🤗

 

 

Hi Carmie! Nice to hear from you.  How have you been?

 

Doctors are stingy with all controlled meds and narcotics here in Florida.  We used to have "pill mills" here and there was a statewide ban so doctors have become very wary on prescribing them.  Since I keep getting kicked around between doctors without my permission, I decided to see a new doctor, a PA, but I hope she is nice.  They are not kind here.  My general physician wrote on my chart that I am dependent on Ativan, which is not true, I'm stuck on it... just like all the rest.  They don't seem to understand every medication I take holds some kind of physical dependency, it's not by choice. 

 

My general physician doesn't feel comfortable prescribing my psych meds.  He has also passed me off to an ARNP because he doesn't like me.  Which is fine, since she is nice.  

 

Did you know they are prescribing Ketamine for psych treatment now?  I couldn't believe it.  I was very close to getting it but decided against it.  

 

Anyway I'm doing pretty well.  All I've done is cut the 20mg morning dose of Geodon, then I cut 600mg Trileptal down to 450mg, and Effexor I took 9 beads out for 2 weeks to see how I do.  I'm a little more hyper than usual, but I'm sleeping at least.  I did this 4/22

 

I hope you are doing well.  I know the suffering of others can be terribly overwhelming.  I'm new here as you know but I'm mostly just lurking and learning :)  I'm not much of a chatter in real life, and especially not on forums :)  But I hope I get some confidence and get to the point where I'm able to speak about my experience so I can help others.  If I can ever help you in any way, please let me know.  💖💖💖💖💖

 

Genesis

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • Administrator

Hi, Genesis. Having made those changes April 22, please don't change anything else for a while.

 

When you say "hyper", what do you mean? Have you had any other significant symptoms from those drug changes?

 

What is the Geodon supposed to be doing for you?

 

Do you always go to bed about midnight? Do you usually have trouble sleeping?

 

Could you take your drugs on a consistent schedule? Establishing a baseline symptom pattern will be important when you do more tapering. Should you get withdrawal symptoms, we will need to distinguish them from drug reactions.

 

Have you discussed your drug cocktail with your current psychiatrist? Did you show her the drug interactions report? What did she say about it?

 

There are several major interactions that may affect the heart.

 

If you don't like this psychiatrist, can you see another, or are you "in the system" as a person with psychosis?

 

You are on a lot of drugs for one person. It is not a mystery why you have brain fog, you're taking a bunch of brakes.

 

The only change in your signature I'd like to see is a line showing which drugs you're taking now, at what dosages.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Genesis,

I just want to welcome you to SA and make sure to link you to the Success Stories here, so you can have something to look forward to :) 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-withdrawal/

Warmly,
Wiggle 
  

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Hi, Genesis. Having made those changes April 22, please don't change anything else for a while.

 

When you say "hyper", what do you mean? Have you had any other significant symptoms from those drug changes?

 

What is the Geodon supposed to be doing for you?

 

Do you always go to bed about midnight? Do you usually have trouble sleeping?

 

Could you take your drugs on a consistent schedule? Establishing a baseline symptom pattern will be important when you do more tapering. Should you get withdrawal symptoms, we will need to distinguish them from drug reactions.

 

Have you discussed your drug cocktail with your current psychiatrist? Did you show her the drug interactions report? What did she say about it?

 

There are several major interactions that may affect the heart.

 

If you don't like this psychiatrist, can you see another, or are you "in the system" as a person with psychosis?

 

You are on a lot of drugs for one person. It is not a mystery why you have brain fog, you're taking a bunch of brakes.

 

The only change in your signature I'd like to see is a line showing which drugs you're taking now, at what dosages.

 

 

Hi Alto how are you?

 

When I say "hyper" I just talk a little more than normal or get really excited.  My emotions seem more exaggerated but more on the overly happy end not depression.  Nothing else has been different as far as symptoms. 

 

I was prescribed Geodon when I was 23 because I had a very strange experience when smoking marijuana.  During this "episode" I had, which I finally found out was a kundalini syndrome (like an awakening but all the negative symptoms).  From this, I started hearing a voice that stayed for almost a year and then it just vanished.  I can't describe in words what happened because I don't know how to describe it, but I told my doctor and he thought it was some kind of psychotic break and thus, the Geodon.  I was immediately put on 180mg and it didn't change until maybe a year or 2 ago.  It came down to 80, no withdrawal.  Then I believe 6 months or so ago it was split 20mg mornings 60mg evenings, so I just felt like dropping the 20mg to see how I did, and I felt fine.  This was April 18th.  The short answer to your question, my doctor thought I was psychotic and it was never really re-evaluated until the heart problem started again.

 

I normally go to bed around 3-4am, because my best friend works at night and I like to talk to him, but since you mentioned everything should be on more of a schedule, I have been doing that but it's slow progress. Usually I go to bed at 11pm now, but I have sinus problems so that can keep me up until midnight, but I fall asleep quickly.

 

I try to be up by 10am, but my goal is 9am. I never have trouble sleeping.  It's just getting to sleep because I'm always getting sinus infections.  I will do better on being on a better schedule.

 

My current psychiatrist I have only seen once.  She seems completely uninterested in me or how I feel.  I wasn't in her office for more that 4 minutes, and that was due to her having computer issues.  So needless to say, I am seeing a new psych Dr at an office over an hour away.  All the doctors in this area I have seen, and they aren't kind people.  

 

Today I am seeing my cardiologist because my heart seems to be skipping and he will probably increase the metoprolol.  I printed the major interactions from the drug interactions checker, and will show him and tell him my concerns, until I see the new psych person.

 

I wanted to mention I asked my previous psych doctor that I wanted to come off my meds and see how I do without them.  He looked at me like I was an idiot.  He wrote a prescription for effexor 37.5mg to be taken for 2 weeks and then just completely stop, then 40mg one week, 20mg one week geodon then stop.  I knew from previously trying to come off that this wasn't right.  He said if I don't feel well it's because of my symptoms returning.  Ridiculous.

 

How long should I stay at these doses, and then what do you suggest?

 

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

 

Genesis

 

11 hours ago, WiggleIt said:

Hello Genesis,

I just want to welcome you to SA and make sure to link you to the Success Stories here, so you can have something to look forward to :) 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-withdrawal/

Warmly,
Wiggle 
  

 

 

Thank you Wiggle for the welcome and the link, I appreciate it!

 

Genesis

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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Alto,

 

I saw my cardiologist who looked into the drug interactions and said they are only considered "cautions" and "potential" effects.  He isn't concerned with the drug interactions because I had an EKG today which was completely normal, and the QT interval isn't present on it and it never has been on my EKGs previous times.  He does say to bring it up to the new Dr, which I will.  

 

He increased my metoprolol to 25mg b.i.d. because I requested it.  It keeps my heart rate low which helps with anxiety.

 

He is concerned with my caffeine intake.  I do drink caffeinated soda everyday but I will cut down.

 

I will update my signature.

 

thanks, Genesis

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

i felt *s* today.  I havent felt like that in 10 years.  i feel better though

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

I just saw your topic that said you were lost and scared. That’s how I felt to with my withdrawal from antidepressants and so many more symptoms. I wanted to share my story with what helped me. 

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

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I feel it’s important to share our success with everyone we possibly can on here. I really thought I was going to die. A lot of people think that as well on this forum. Just trying to help people in anyway I can. 

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

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3 minutes ago, Molder said:

I just saw your topic that said you were lost and scared. That’s how I felt to with my withdrawal from antidepressants and so many more symptoms. I wanted to share my story with what helped me. 

 

Just now, Molder said:

I feel it’s important to share our success with everyone we possibly can on here. I really thought I was going to die. A lot of people think that as well on this forum. Just trying to help people in anyway I can. 

 

And I'm glad you're doing that, but I honestly don't want to hear about your god when I have my own beliefs and your impeding on mine, and that seriously bothers me.  I don't mind chatting but I don't want to be told that god is the answer.

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to bother or offend you. I hope you will get better and have a very happy fulfilling life. 

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

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2 minutes ago, Molder said:

I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to bother or offend you. I hope you will get better and have a very happy fulfilling life. 

 

no need to be sorry, but thank you and I hope you continue to do well

 

I had a very horrible day, and I just don't want to hear about god.

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

Trust me when I say I completely understand!

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

Link to comment
1 minute ago, Molder said:

Trust me when I say I completely understand!

 

thanks

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

Things always get better. Just hang in there

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

Link to comment
1 minute ago, Molder said:

Things always get better. Just hang in there

i am

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

People need bad days sometimes. That’s what makes the good days so great😉

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

Link to comment
Just now, Molder said:

People need bad days sometimes. That’s what makes the good days so great😉

 

 

you're just full of sunshine aren't you

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

Link to comment

Helping people when they are down makes me happy. 

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

Link to comment

I have had a ruff couple days not much sunshine. I’m better tonight. Anytime I’m able to help somebody it makes happy. It kinda pulls me out of my funk.

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

Link to comment
4 minutes ago, Molder said:

Helping people when they are down makes me happy. 

 

2 minutes ago, Molder said:

I have had a ruff couple days not much sunshine. I’m better tonight. Anytime I’m able to help somebody it makes happy. It kinda pulls me out of my funk.

 

well im glad you took the time to try and cheer other people up.  nice of you to do

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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Well hey I just wanted to come on here and let people hear my story. I have been better for awhile now and for some reason just thought of this forum tonight. I remember coming on here 4 years ago desperate to find someone who got better and didn’t have to take these stupid pills anymore. So I truly wish you the best. Hang in there it does get better ok.

Started on ad's at 23. Do not remember what I started with or what dose. I am 34 now

I know I did not not switch medications very often and only used an AD.

Celexa 40 mg (2011-2013)Switched from celexa to Wellbutrin 09/13 for 1 month( quit cold turkey)

1 month later withdrawal kicked in

Got on Prozac 10mg for 2 months 1/14-3/14 switched to Lexapro

Lexapro 10 mg for 6 months 3/14-9/14

Switched back to Wellbutrin 9/14. Started on 150 mg while tapering off of Lexapro. Took 150 mg daily for two weeks while reducing the Lexapro. Dose increased to 300 mg after last pill of Lexapro. Took 300 mg Wellbutrin for two weeks before deciding to stop. Weaned off of it in 6 weeks. 300 mg for 2 weeks 150 mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for 2 weeks

Not sure when withdrawal started or from which drug because I was ok on the Lexapro until depression returned and I switched to Wellbutrin which made it worse. I am now almost 4 months without an AD and it is very difficult to function. I have taken muscle relaxers and different benzos to deal with withdrawal problems.

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4 minutes ago, Molder said:

Well hey I just wanted to come on here and let people hear my story. I have been better for awhile now and for some reason just thought of this forum tonight. I remember coming on here 4 years ago desperate to find someone who got better and didn’t have to take these stupid pills anymore. So I truly wish you the best. Hang in there it does get better ok.

 

Thanks

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • Moderator

Genesis-- if you hold your mouse over Molders avatar a display will appear.  At the center of the bottom is a button "Ignore User" click on this and you will block him from posting on your thread. Just though you'd like to know.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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51 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Genesis-- if you hold your mouse over Molders avatar a display will appear.  At the center of the bottom is a button "Ignore User" click on this and you will block him from posting on your thread. Just though you'd like to know.

 

 

thanks!  i didnt know what to do

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • 4 months later...

Topic title:  being forced off lorazepam after 20 years

 

Hi.  I've been on psychotropic medications for 22 years now.  I've tried everything except tricyclics, MAOIs, haldol, thorazine, etc.  But most everything else, I've tried.  I think I had a complicated childhood.  I was always very quiet, I didn't like talking, I hated school, painfully shy, and just wanted to be with my mom.  None of that really changed, and I'm a 30something. 

 

I had some kind of breakdown when I was 17.  End of the year, 2000.  Then I had my first visit to a psych ward.  Out of 20 or so, so many I've lost count.  After I came back home, I was very unstable mentally and emotionally.  I couldn't keep a job or handle stress anymore.  I became very agoraphobic eventually and was granted disability in my early 20s.  I pretty much have lived a life of being very unstable, going to dr.'s appointments, being a human guinea pig for my psychiatrist to try any and all drugs, and severely over-medicated.  I have nothing to show for in my life because I can't do anything.  I am home most days unless I have an appointment, live with my mom, and that's it.  

 

As of now Dr's have been trying to take me off of lorazepam.  So if they say that to me, I freak out, and I find another doctor.  Well, they are rarely doctors anymore.  Just "Nurse practitioners" or "Physician's Assistant".  I am completely aware no professional, even psychiatrists, are qualified or have any knowledge on the severe dangers of these medications, especially taking someone completely off of them, like lorazepam.  I'm done looking for them.  I don't want them.  I take them because if I don't, it's too scary.  

 

 

My current "Physician's assistant" tells me there is evidence benzos cause memory problems and can cause Alzheimer's.  Duh.  I think they barely have touched the tip of the iceberg even knowing that.  So I take 1mg three times a day.  She tells me she is going to cut my prescription every month, by 10 pills.  I seriously think of that constantly and can't even put into words the torture she is granting me.

 

So I am on a prescription of 60 pills this month.  When I first saw her, I didn't need any, so she said next time she sees me she will give me 80 pills.  Immediately when I got home, I started cutting my pills.  I have the scale suggested on this site (I was here before but forgot any login information).  I had successfully gotten down to 2mg, but it was torture getting there in about 3 months.  

 

On August 20, my mom's birthday, I had a severe panic attack in a restaurant.  I had it... silently.  I held it in so much, I think it actually caused me to go full blown MANIC.  I was manic for 3 days, and rock bottom hit, which is definitely the worst part about the euphoria.  You can't ever 100% fully enjoy it, because deep down I know in the back of my head.. that the downward spiral was inevitable.  It's what I fear the most.  I'm crying now just thinking about it.  

 

I knew I needed to increase the lorazepam.  I had lost it, so I just kept taking them.  I knew it was a bad idea, but I had no guidance.  I didn't know how to cope.

 

Eventually I went back to just my 3mg three times a day, but so afraid of what to tell the PA.  I told her what I went through.  She was so kind (sarcasm) to not cut back my Rx this month (September).  So out of fear, I cut myself from 3x daily, to 2.5. This was Sept 15 2019, today is Sept 18 2019.

 

I'm in fear of her dropping it down to 50.  This has become my nightmare.  This is a living nightmare and I don't like fighting to be in agony.

 

Will someone please help me

 

Edited by Genesis
added topic title

Aug/13/'19   buspirone  30mg  increase 45mg sep/11/2019, back to 30mg sep/22/'19

2019   oxcarbazepine   900mg 

2001   venlafaxine XR  150mg increase  sep/11/2019  from 75mg

2006   ziprasidone    60mg  increase sep/11/2019  from 20mg,  taper to 54mg  sep/23/2019

2014   gabapentin     3600mg  

1999   lorazepam      3mg  taper sep/15/2019 - 2.5mg 

2017   metoprolol     75mg

1998   levothyroxine   125mcg

2018   losartan/hctz  100/25mg

2015   lovaza 2GM  |  2014   pantoprazole 40mg

'01-'19  trazodone | '01-'19  divalproex sodium                        🖤  Intro here 💜

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Mercy: being forced off lorazepam after 20 years
  • Moderator Emeritus
7 hours ago, Genesis said:

Eventually I went back to just my 3mg three times a day, but so afraid of what to tell the PA.  I told her what I went through.  She was so kind (sarcasm) to not cut back my Rx this month (September).  So out of fear, I cut myself from 3x daily, to 2.5. This was Sept 15 2019, today is Sept 18 2019.

 

This is about a 17% reduction, so if you start to have symptoms, please updose to at least 2.7 mg, which is a 10% reduction. Please see:

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Please note that with benzos, making drastic reductions can lead to kindling. Please see:

 

Kindling (sedative–hypnotic withdrawal)

 

As this article states, "Each withdrawal leads to more severe withdrawal symptoms than in previous episodes." So it's important to go slowly and smoothly and allow the nervous system to adjust along the way. Abrupt changes are traumatizing to the nervous system.

 

I know you are in a difficult situation due to the prescriber's ignorance about tapering, but perhaps presenting them with a taper plan may help.

 

Please start a drug and symptoms journal. Also include:

 

  1. any supplements you are taking
  2. the number of hours of sleep you get each night

This will help us see your symptoms within the context of when you take your drugs. With a drug like Ativan, you may be dealing with interdose or rebound symptoms. This is the format we need:

 

On 9/27/2016 at 2:49 PM, Altostrata said:

In the course of discussion in your Introductions forum topic, you may be asked to keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, including when you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms. We ask this because there may be something we can do to reduce the symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every single day over several days is what symptoms you get before and after you take your drugs. If you're not taking any drugs and have withdrawal symptoms, we still need to see your symptom pattern throughout the day:

 

The time of day, dosage, and severity of symptoms are essential information. Include

 

- Time and dosage for all drugs taken throughout the day, psychiatric and non-psychiatric.

- Following each dose, note any symptoms. If you are having a reaction to the drug, it may take hours for a symptom to show up -- that's why we ask you to keep notes all day long.

- If you're not taking any drugs, your symptoms throughout the day.

- Your sleep pattern. Since so many drugs disturb sleep, if you find you're waking in the middle of the night, it could be from a drug you took earlier in the evening. If you're not taking any drugs, there may be ways you can improve your sleep.

And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, looking something like this:
 

Example:


DATE:

 

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

 

 

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