BeWell: AD taper

[BeWell]

Thank you for your response. I will keep you posted.

[BeWell]

I went down one tic mark (right below the .4ml) on the .4ml dose this am. What is that percentage? My dr. Wanted me to do a 10% drop. I am still terrified. I have to think really hard about what I did the night before. Almost like a blackout. I was a blackout drinker in the beginning and end of my drinking. I am seeing words differently on my phone and in books x three days. I can still read..but, they look all jumbled..upside down..backwards..letters and words...it is very upsetting to me. This started three days ago. I am still experiencing severe depresssion, anxiety, si, intrusive thoughts and feelings, burning, Akasthesia-mental ad physical, nausea, no appetite, agoraphobia, not changing clothes or bathing. I am terrified of everything. And glued to my phone. I text a friend at night and have you review in the am because I have no memory of what I said. Etc. This is not okay anymore.

[Shep]

45 minutes ago, BeWell said:

I went down one tic mark (right below the .4ml) on the .4ml dose this am. What is that percentage? My dr. Wanted me to do a 10% drop.

 

10% is likely too much considering how acute your symptoms are. 

 

What size syringe do you have? How many tic marks are in between each main line? Without this information, we can't tell you how much you are reducing. 

 

Also, are you reducing both of your two doses or only one dose? 

 

This article may help:

 

Using Syringes

 

If reading is difficult, watching a video may be easier. This one goes through how to read several types of syringes, so scroll through until you see the one that looks like yours. 

 

LearningTools: Reading Syringes video 

[BeWell]

1ml syringe. Skinny. Tiny. I think there is a 10 tics between .3 and .4ml. My Dr. had told me .3ml would be a 10% reduction. I am only reducing the am dosing.

[BeWell]

Only my tip should be in the liquid? Ugh? I just put the whole thing in there (the syringe) In the tiny bottle? This is really hard to manage with anxiety, depression, brain fog, etc.

[Shep]

16 hours ago, BeWell said:

I went down one tic mark (right below the .4ml) on the .4ml dose this am.

 

14 hours ago, BeWell said:

1ml syringe. Skinny. Tiny. I think there is a 10 tics between .3 and .4ml. My Dr. had told me .3ml would be a 10% reduction. I am only reducing the am dosing.

 

I quoted these two quotes because I'm confused about the dose you are taking. Are you going down one tic mark (or .01 mL) or are you going down to .3 mL? Going down one tick mark from .4 mL would be .39 mL. 

 

You might find handling and measuring easier if you dilute the concentrated diazepam with water. This will give you are larger volume of liquid to play with and make measuring a whole lot easier.

 

If you decide to do this, please look on the container and post what the concentration is. This will be written out as milligrams (mg) to millimeters (mL). If you're unsure, you can call the pharmacist and ask. 

 

And then we can help you put the correct amount of the concentrated liquid into the correct amount of water. 

 

You're right that this is difficult when you're so sick, but after you've done this a couple of times, it won't seem so overwhelming.

 

You mentioned after a friend that you text with. Is this someone who could help you learn to work the syringe and do measurements? 

[BeWell]

@Shep I did not go down to .3ml. I went down one tic mark. I thought the 10% may be a little much too. My symtoms are acute. But, I had them prior to the benzo..from all the terrible tapers. I just don’t understand why my cognitive functioning and short term memory is getting worse. I have no concept of time. Everything feels like it happened 5 minutes ago. It’s terrifying. 

 

I am completely unable to wrap my head around this. But, I will have to. I got the liquid thinking it would be easier. And I wouldn’t have to measure, etc. I could just decrease tic marks. However, that is probably what got my in trouble with my Prozac taper. It is 25mg per 5ml (5 mg/ml). Diazepam. I do not understand math/ measurements at all. Hopefully, I can get her to my house to help me? She is agoraphobic and not out much. Or I will have to get by her house somehow. Between .3 & .4 there are 10 tic marks. I went down 1 tic mark. On a 1ml syringe. Should I do the same for my am dose in 20 mins. I will not be able to figure out the other method before that. Once diluted with water. Do you add juice? How do you add it to a certain amount of ml’s? Get bigger syringes? I am freaking out. Had major issues using syringe last night. I had air this whole time below the stopper and had to physically view where the med was - filed to the .4ml line.  By holding up to light..orange syringe. Hard to see med. Sorry to ramble - pain level is high in foot and anxiety ripping through restless body. Bottom line..I should reduce that 1 tiny tic mark as done yesterday? This am? To keep consistent. Thank you.

[BeWell]

@ShepIs 1 tic mark too much? I do not inderstand the conversions. .01 vs .39?

[BeWell]

@Shep sometimes adding to juice - quick stir - sometimes to apple sauce & stir. Directions had said to add to 1 fl oz or more of juice or applesauce and stir. I just throw it in some juice or applesauce and stir and down it. I have no idea if this has been correct and I have been adding it to the correct amount or not....

[BeWell]

@Shep my orange syringe had 5 tic marks between .4 & .3 on 2 ml syringe. I was wrong. I rinsed it accidentally - garbage now. My friend dropped by clear 2ml syringes with 10 tic marks between .3 @ .4 So I was technically dropping two tic marks the last two am’s. She has no idea about the whole mixing it with water thing. I know there is no need to rinse syringe but where do I store it and how long until I toss it? Seems not good to be just sitting with old med residue in it. It’s starting to get warm here and it says med should not be stored above 77 degrees. Basement cooler though. Should I store syringe in fridge? Am I supposed to use a new one each time? What about mold? Bacteria? Etc? I do not think I could afford a new one each time...

[BeWell]

Lots of questions. I apologize. Severe restlessness now and anxiety.

[BeWell]

Correction 5 tic marks between .3 & .4 on 1ml syringe. Not 2ml as mentioned above. I dropped one tic mark each time. What is that percentage? Tomorrow I have to drop two tic marks to have it be the same as the last two days. I am wired and my brain and body is not right. My nervous system really needs some stabilization.

[BeWell]

Tried to drop two tic marks tonight. Bad night with AKA, fog, memory, on new syringe. Couldn’t see. Got really upset. The plan was to never drop st night yet. Having talk bad issues with eyes. No way to accurately pull meds. Feeling hopeless.

[Shep]

I'm concerned that you're being inconsistent with the way you're dosing, so let's start from the beginning and get set up for a taper. Since you've only reduced one or two days, it's okay to go back up to the full 4 mg, especially since it's unclear what you've been taking the past couple of days.

 

Note: you'll need to get some supplies. Until you're able to do this, please take your regular amount of 2 mg twice a day. 

 

This video is about using a milk titration with a tablet, but it will still give you an idea of the process. You're going to use water (or other liquid) and a liquid Rx, but the process is basically the same and it will give you an idea of the equipment needed.

 

Benzo Detox - How to Guide - Part 3 video (10 minutes)

 

For more, please see these threads:

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Using an oral syringe and other tapering techniques

 

 

17 hours ago, BeWell said:

It is 25mg per 5ml (5 mg/ml).

 

5 mg = 1 mL

 

Step 1:

 

Take 1 mL of the Rx liquid and add 49 mL water for a total of 50 mL liquid. 

 

This gives you 5 mg of diazepam in 50 mL liquid, or a .1 mg : 1 mL ratio.
 

 

Step 2:

 

Using your syringe, draw out 20 mL to get your 2 mg dose. Take 20 mL in the morning and 20 mL at night for a total of 4 mg total daily dose.

 

 

Supplies:

 

1.  A 10 mL syringe (here's an example off Amazon - 10 mL syringe).

 

1. A measuring cup that measures in millimeters OR you can use your 10 mL syringe and measure out the water using the syringe. 

 

3. As you start tapering, you will use your smaller syringes. 

 

The reason for adding in the extra water (or other liquid) is it will allow you to make very small reductions, especially when you get lower in dose. You won't be able to do that using just the concentrated amount. There simply isn't enough liquid to work with. 

 

Please post any questions. I'm very concerned that you aren't stable enough to taper right now, so please stay at the 2 mg twice a day until you have all the necessary equipment and you feel comfortable with the process. 

 

We can walk you through it step by step here. 

 

[BeWell]

 Screwed up again. This am / thought I would keep it 2 below .4ml. Think I did two tic marks above .4ml. I thought my mind was clear for a minute. But due to all the backwards letters/ reading/ words/ etc. I did it wrong I think. I climbed back into bed and couldn’t remember. Last night - worst night this far. With AKA, dystonia, paranoia, ocd, anxiety, nerve pain, burning, muscle pain then jelly, TD through entire body. Excruciating pain in joints, headaches, stabbing pain in forehead, neck, shoulders, back, nightmare, phychosis. Agitation/ restlessness in brain and all body parts like no other. Extreme intrusive thoughts, urges, feelings, SI. I am tertified. I need to keep myself safe. I feel like a monster - suffering at inhuman levels. Thank you for post. It makes 0 sense to me. Something has gone terribly wrong with my brain. And body. And all thoughts. None of this is me. I need it to stop.

[BeWell]

How many times should I use one syringe 

[BeWell]

For the way I am doing it now?

[Shep]

17 hours ago, BeWell said:

Thank you for post. It makes 0 sense to me.

 

Please have your friend look over it. She can help you get set up.

 

Once you do the process a few times, it will become automatic.

 

17 hours ago, BeWell said:

How many times should I use one syringe 

 

Please see Alto's post on using a syringe:

 

On 5/3/2012 at 5:17 PM, Altostrata said:

How to care for an oral syringe

 

These plastic syringes are disposable, but they can last a long time. I've had Becton-Dickinson and Baxa oral syringes; the markings wear off only after many months of use.

 

Rinsing with warm water is sufficient for daily use.

 

Make sure you put the oral syringe somewhere to dry before using it the next time, or the water left in it will throw measurements off.

 

It's good to have a few oral syringes to rotate, to let them dry.

 

Every week or so, I wash them by rinsing them out with a little soap and very hot water, and letting them air-dry.

 

They're not sterilized to begin with, they do not have to be boiled or purified for your own reuse. Just make sure to clean them occasionally with soap and hot water. I wouldn't put them in the dish washer.

 

If the markings wear off, rinse them and recycle them with plastics, or use for crafts to apply glue, etc.

 

 

[BeWell]

Thank you. I showed my friend the method or told he about adding liquid - her comment was “no way”..that will just confuse you even worse....so I am stuck and on my own in that dept

 

I apologize for no daily notes. I am just surviving best I can. Extreme body pain, aka, insomnia, the new vision problems - everything backward and upside down / but can still read. Paced the majority of yesterday. O ability to rest mentally or physically. When I eat - I have to pace. Or eat really fast sitting in my bed. There is no feeling of thirst or hunger. And paranoid of food groups, etc., chemicals, worsening my condition. Struggling w/ sounds, light, smell, etc. I get really upset. Cognitive ability, short term memory, concentration continue to decline. There is 0 coping ant detection abilities. High state of panic/ anxiety always. 

 

My arms are burning. Bones, joints, muscles - it all hurts. Pillows must be used between calves, knees. Hurts for limbs to touch each other. Hip bones on bed. On side - ribs touching bed. To stand still. And try to rinse a dish..have to go on ball of foot with hand on hip.Do not know what this is called. I have to be moving all body parts walking or laying down. Unable to sit and stand still to talk to someone. Find that upsetting as well. Overwhelmed to look outside or think about walking outside alone. Maybe hyperacusis or motion? I don’t know..any thoughts. I have not looked for a new doctor. I have 0 functioning and the thought of doing anything overwhelms me..and scares me. My body and brain are so messed up. Have no idea how to get off the Valium in this shape..hanging on 24/7. My mind and body feel “high”..hard to know if the Valium is activating or I was already headed down the path. Definitely worse since Hospital, cold turkey cigarettes..basically...the gum - all of it. Most likely the little bit it of caffeine that I used to get from decalf coffee. Rambling again..it’s becase I opened my eyes to the nightmare and the brain on speed..and body..still considering hospital? New med? I feel like everything is a risk either way? My safety? My well being? I am falilure to thrive on all levels..

[BeWell]

The thought of trying to order supplies on line or figure out dosing is way beyond my scope of functioning. It’s terrible because what if in fact the Valium is making me sicker. I miss me. To be able to curl up and watch a movie with a daughter would be amazing....it’s been so long. Something wrig with eyes..but unable to leave the house or consider eye appt w/ AKA/ D/R, D/P, Panic. Plus, I don’t drive anymore. What do you think happened to my eyes???? From cell phone? Lights? It’s terrifying, amongst all the other symptoms.....

 

I know..”just a peer support group”. I am too unwell to reach out...and I am sure my threads scare people..I apologize..my reality is terrifying. I had reached out to one person struggling..who I could really relate to and she has passed 😔 My biggest fear in all of this. I am addicted to reading threads still...trying to find an answer for me..trying to get through the days. I do not want to leave my girls. But, can I sustain this level of mental and physical torture???

[BeWell]

@Shep@Altostrata Thank you for continuing to try and help me. As you can see..it’s just me here. Two friends. I do not do social media. And I have had to give up all contact with my twelve step way of life. All things and people I used to enjoy are gone. 

 

Nearly 7am - nausea - body pain. It looks foggy outside and the world looks so very dark. However, I feel the sunshine - which I used to worship - activates AKA? Mania with 0 functioning - makes no sense...

[BeWell]

Sorry.one more question / should my Valium be shaken? 

 

Shoulders to ears here - apparently very nervous. Cortisol rushes. Burning in shoulders and body. When does it end???? Birds are upsetting, getting lighter and lighter. I really struggle with the dark to light and light to dark. It makes no sense. No desire to face another day of this......torture.....I want my life back....my family needs me...it’s been months....

[BeWell]

@Shep @Altostrata@all mods. I watched the video and did some reading. Feeling very overwhelmed by all of it. Adding concentrated Valium to liquid. Not going to lie. How long do you think I can continue just using what I have? I am going to keep .4ml for nighttime dose. 8:30pm. And attempt to keep am dose down two tic marks? It was 1 tic mark on old syringe. Yes, I had really messed it up over a few days..But, updosing maybe not a good idea? March went from 2 to 4 mg. Hospital - April 4mg to 3mg. Out of hospital 3mg to 4mg. Then changed to liquid. ER (May) visit gave me pill for one dose - they didn’t have the liquid and wouldn’t allow me to use mine. We can’t keep going up and down can we? Yes, I have really messed up over the last few days...I feel like my doctor will be very upset that I haven’t dropped at all??? 10 tic marks between .3 & .4 ml. on new syringe. Shouldn’t I stick with the two tic mark drop? A couple days ago - it was one tic mark - only 5 tic marks between .3 & .4. Original liquid switch I used pharmacy’s dropper. It has been an absolute mess!!!!! I am an absolute mess!!!!! Wouldn’t Ashton say we loose ground by updosing??? I apologize - I am not well....1/2 hour until dosing...always super anxious anyways...never...ever like this..even with Prozac liquid and gabapentin liquid..I was calmer..or atleast my memory says I was. There was no forums, or calls to friends, dr’s, etc. Or do you really think I need to go back up to .4ml for both doses??????

[BeWell]

@Shep I apologize for the round and round. Panicked. Went two tic marks below the .4ml this am. Despite what you said..ad alto. Thinking I am already suffering so mch. Most likely made a mistake. Should I go two lines above .4ml tonight to balance it out. And if I am able to figure out the other and get supplies..do I drink the diluted Valium in the water? Or put syringe in mouth? Where would I store that second dose? Room temp? Or mix the water dose with juice or appesauce? I am so confused..as we already know. Science: math in school..I never understood it..and that was a million years ago. I am now 46.

[BeWell]

The dose would have to be stored in a dark bottle???? 

[BeWell]

It says it must be comsuked right away if adding to juice or applesauce. I don’t even know how correctly that has been going. 

[Altostrata]

Please phone your pharmacist with questions about your liquid Valium. We don't know the instructions for what you have.

[Shep]

Bewell, I would stay at 2 mg twice a day until you're in a more stable position. 

 

Alto is correct that the pharmacist will be able to answer your questions. Write down exactly what he or she tells you so you have it as a reference. 

 

You can do this, but you need to stay as organized as you can. 

 

[India]

@BeWellI know the terror well. I feel for you so much. The symptoms will lessen, you will heal. Try to hold on for this terrible first part because there is hope. 

I wanted to share this with everyone suffering from hyperacusis. I hope it will help:

Are you in the U.K.? You can call “The Bristol Tranquilliser Project”. See their website: 

 

http://www.btpinfo.org.uk/contact-us

Two: (0117) 9500020

 

Also, Baylissa Frederick provides some encouraging videos here:

https://baylissa.com/withdrawal-help/