Mewr: lots of questions, hopeful

[Mewr]

Hi Rachel, 

 

Hope you are having a better day.  Please don’t cry for me.  My MS has been much less of a problem than this whole nightmare.  In fact, this has been worse than any of my medical issues, including being in the hospital in 1999 for 6 months with a blood clotting disease and having breast cancer in 2015.  This has no end in sight and is ever changing. 

 

My mom and husband try to be supportive but they need to get on with their lives.  My husband is super busy all the time with a new job, finishing a PHd in December 2019, and teaching university classes in NYC.  He means well and cares, but thinks meds will solve all my issues and wants me to take whatever the Docs recommend.  Doesn’t realize that less is more and it takes time.

 

A few of my friends understand, but not all.  I think that they believe that one day, I will just be all better.  I try to minimize the situation, too.  I am ashamed of the stigma of mental health issues and want so badly to be normal again.  I think if I downplay my physical and emotional feelings that sometimes, I can wish them away.

 

Please know that you are not babbling. I appreciate you messages and thank you for your sensitivity and wisdom.  You understand the few ups and many downs that we experience and can articulate them with great perspective.  

 

Again, the morning anxiety has taken over. Bad sleep last night.  I drank a cup of decaf green tea with breakfast this morning in hopes of lowering my anxiety, but it may be worse.  What holistic practices, if any, are you using now?  Do any help?  I took tons of supplements before this crisis, but stopped when I found this site.  I am going to try to slowly add some vitamins back after I stabilize a bit more.  

 

Thinking of you.  Have a good night.  Xxx Maria

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

 

I am sorry for not writing earlier. I haven’t had a very good day or yesterday evening.  I hope things are better for you. 

 

I will write soon. I just need to pick up a little bit. 

 

Bless you and hope you sleep well. 

 

R xxxx

 

[Mewr]

Been in the hospital.  Will write soon, too.

[BreathofAir]

Hope everything is ok Maria?  Awful few days here with family issues. Will write tomorrow.  Have been thinking of you. Sleep well. Bless you. R xxxxxxxxx

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

 

How are you? I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in hospital.  I do hope everything is ok. You have been in my thoughts.  

 

I didn’t have a good weekend because of family tension erupting and my husband breaking down. It has been very difficult.

Today has been better and I have been out shopping for a short while on my own, which was very uncomfortable, then out in the garden.  My friend came and it was nice, gentle company.  

 

I must admit, I struggle to make the days pass.  The spikes of burning anxiety are still overpowering the Lorazepam and I’m trying to cope with them as best I can without being tempted to increase it. 

 

I understand if you’re tired or things are difficult.  Please let me know you’re ok whenever you are able to do so. 

Sending you my blessings and best wishes for calm and healing. 

 

R xxxxxxxxxx

[Mewr]

Hi Rachel,

 

Doing better.  Had a TIA. Like a mini stroke.  Flashing lights like a migraine, and couldn’t speak for an hour.  Very scary, but all recovered from that.  Went to ER again Tuesday with super high blood pressure.  On 4 new medications, starting a new MS medication soon and going for lots of testing.  My neurologist thinks this could all be discontinuation related.   

 

My NP and neurologist want me to go up to 15 Mg Lexapro, or  cross taper to a very low dose of Prozac.  Waiting to be more stable on the new meds before I do anything.  

 

Glad your daughter’s party was successful and that she was happy.  Was her caterpillar cake “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”?  I love that book!  Do kids get lots of fun gifts for their birthday in England?

 

I am am finding it very difficult to stay outside in the hot, sunny weather.  Will try to go out earlier in the am and see if that helps the morning anxiety, too.

 

Hope you are feeling better and  life in general is going in the right direction for you.  Know you are strong and sensible.  My NP constantly tells me that this will pass!  I hope so, for all of us.

 

Sleep well, xxxx Maria

 

 

 

 

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

 

I am so glad to hear from you, but so sorry about your TIA.  It’s about time things turned around for you, it really is.  I am glad you are feeling better, but I know it must have been very frightening for you and your family. 

 

So much is going on for you with medication changes, I understand that you don’t want to mess with the Lexapro. And to cross back to Prozac? What is the rationale behind that?  That it just might work again after a bit of time? 

 

My GP wants me to increase up to 10mg, but I am very hesitant.  I want to give it a bit more time. I feel pressure to be more functional and in a better mood for family reasons, but I don’t want to overshoot. It’s so scary not knowing, just hoping and waiting, with pretty much blind faith!

 

It’s been raining almost constantly here, so I haven’t had a lot of time in the garden. I can see you have the much higher temperatures with some humidity.  Are you able to do much?  I’m still struggling to focus on reading and tv, so I’m trying to do odd jobs around the house and go out with my mother.  A very simple life...

 

I had a few “off” days last week with low mood and lots of tears, but yesterday and today have been better.  Still the severe cortisol mornings and ruminations about ever feeling right, but I am taking each day as it comes and fortunately there is always plenty to do around my house, and places to go for nice walks. 

 

How are you doing with the Ativan and anxiety control?  Are you managing to get up and get moving?  Have you been given any therapy to do following the TIA?

 

Yes, we give fun gifts in England. My daughter is having another party for her school friends tomorrow.  I am hoping to be able to go. We shall see. I am fairly determined, but nervous of the high energy.  She has a unicorn cake this time. Yes, she loves the Very Hungry Caterpillar stories! 

 

Please tell me more, when you can, about your sewing circle. I love crafts and always admire the huge patchwork quilts that are so beautifully made with silks and colourful threads.  I paint and draw, but not very much at the moment.  I am hoping to take up piano lessons again very soon.  It’s hard to be patient when so much is waiting. 

 

I really hope you are ok. I feel for you, but I get the sense you have a tough inner core, even when very testing external factors are whipping all around you. 

 

We shall wait together and see what the next few days bring.  I shall be on the lookout for any signs. I believe in signs very much. 

 

Sending you lots of hugs and blessings. Always thinking of you and sending strength and calm too. 

Hope you are sleeping too 🙂

 

Best wishes, 

Rachel 

xxxxxx

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

 

Sending you best wishes and hoping that you are ok. 

 

Rachel 

xxxxxxxxx

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

 

Thinking about you and hoping things are settling.  You are in my prayers. Stay strong. 

 

Bless you and hope you sleep well. 

 

R xxxxxxxx

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

 

Just wondering how you are doing? Sending hugs and strength to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. 

 

Best wishes, 

Rachel 

xxxxxxxxx

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

[Mewr]

Hi Rachel,

How are you doing?   I hope you are feeling better. How is your daughter?  Does she have 10 weeks off from school like kids in New York do?  Most parents dread it.   

 

I am a bit better and still working on medical tests for the next few weeks.  I am holding  with 10 mg Lexapro and think I feel more stable after the increase two months ago.  Haven’t needed the Ativan for some days, although my NP wants me to take it twice a day!   My blood pressure is under control with medication, one of which is propranolol, which helps a bit with anxiety and sleep.

 

Please know that I think of you all the time and try to follow your posts.  Hope family life is settling down.  Less pressure and stress here for the past few days.  So nice.  I have 5 follow up Dr. appts this week.  Yuck.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

xxx Maria

[BreathofAir]

Hi Maria, 

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

 

Wonderful to hear from you and your good news. 😊😊 I have been praying for you and trying to send all my positive thought waves. At last a break in the clouds! I am so pleased things are a little more under control.   

 

I see you have the high temperatures at the moment and hope you have been managing to get outside. It has been mixed here, quite cold some days, but I always make sure I go out.  

 

My daughter has six weeks of school holidays, but we have summer clubs and plenty of places to go.  Yes, a lot of parents dread it.  I am just hoping to be “ready” by that time.  I am pushing myself and have had a good couple of days, but am trying to be mindful and careful.  Just keeping moving and trying to stay positive. 

 

I am glad you have held out on the Lexapro and avoided the Ativan for a bit.  That’s really good.  Things are moving in the right direction. 

 

My daughter and mother keep picking up bugs, so it’s been difficult for them, but we are all trying to muddle along together as best we can.  

 

I am sure you are completely sick of all the medical appointments, but am glad things are more settled at home.  All ok here, as I am trying to do as much as I can, even when the crying spells get out of control! 

 

I think of you too and am so hoping things will reach a sustained, good level very soon.   Stay strong and thank you so much for keeping me updated. Bless you and keep healing. 

Sleep well. Night. 

R xxxxxxxxx

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

[BreathofAir]

Maria, 

 

Hope all is ok with you.  Thinking of you and sending you hugs and best wishes. 

 

Sleep well and heal well.  Bless you. 

 

Rachel 

xxxxxx

🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼🦋🌼

 

 

[Mewr]

Just read your new message and so sorry that you are suffering.  Tried to send you a message through that thread, but may not have sent.  Anxiety is so painful, both mentally and physically.  Try hard to use your coping skills and know that this will pass.  You are not alone.  Please try to eat and drink.  We care about you.  Love, Maria

[Mewr]

Mewr

 

Haven’t posted in ages.  Started tapering Lexapro 10 Mg in January 2021 using the Brass Monkey Scale -2.5% weekly.  Had no withdrawal issues until January 2022. Wanted to try to continue taper and deal with symptoms, but they are becoming too severe, headaches, anxiety, digestive issues.  I would like to reinstate a small amount to see if it helps, but don’t know how much to start with.  I am currently taking 2.1 mg daily. I have very small syringes, so small doses are possible.  Any recommendations would be appreciated.

 

Edited March 1, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

[ChessieCat]

I have moved your new topic to your Introduction topic which is the best place to ask questions specific to your own situation.  This keeps your history in one place.

 

When updosing it is usually suggested to only increase by a small amount and not go back to the last dose.  It is better to increase gradually than to risk taking too much.  It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.

 

It will depend on how long you have been on the current dose what amount you would updose by.

 

Please post (as a reply, not drug signature) a list of the reductions that you have made since the beginning of December 2021, ie is list the dose and the date you started on that dose.  Thank you.

 

Many members find that the lower their dose gets the slower they need to go, reducing less and/or holding longer.  You might consider reducing by less than 10% per month.  And it is best not to reduce again (at any stage during the reduction cycle) until you are stable.

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

See:

 

Stability

 

WDnormal

 

And Brassmonkey talks more about it here:

 

tao-of-the-brassmonkey

 

 

Please also update your drug signature:

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature