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AlexRussia: polydrugged in Russia

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AlexRussia
Posted (edited)

Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - AlexRussia: Need advice

 

Hello My name is Alexander. I am Russian , 31,  live near Moscow . My English is not good, but Ill try my best.

 

Year and a half ago I traveled  a lot and couldn't sleep at new places so my grandma gave me phenazepam (potent Russian benzo, very addictive) She , former doctor said that its absolutely safe drug and I can take it if needed. That time I knew nothing about benzos and I believed her because she was a doctor.

 

I took phenazepam sometimes not every day even not every week for sleep. After half a year I noticed that my sleep become much worse and I become very anxious . Never have problems with sleep at home before phenazepam. At one time I realised that I cant sleep more that 4 hours without phenazepam and I always anxious without it. I realised that something is wrong. 

 

SO I took blood test, MRT, another blood test, everything was fine.  Don't get me wrong I never abuse that drug , I took it only when needed, sometimes only one pill two pills a month, sometimes when travelling 7-10 pills a month.  I noticed that after every short term use of that benzo I felt like **** for weeks, and after every course I felt worse. 

 

I went to psychiatrist, told her about my possible benzo addiction, she said that I have gad and I need to take antidepressants. I got prescribed amitriptilline.  After few days I got heart palpations on it and could . I went to another psychiatrist she said that amitriptilline is very old drug and prescribed paroxetine. After a few days on paroxetine I stopped sleeping , and my new doctor said that it cannot be, she said that I am lying.

 

So I went to another doctor and instantly feel smell of alchogol from him , I got prescribed trazadone with paroxetine with amytriptillene the same time. WOW. I went to another doctor. She said there is no benzo addiction its a myth. Next time I went to honored psychiatrist of Russia at one of Russian leading psychiatry center. She said that I have to take more phenazepam because there is no physical bezno addiction , only mental so I need to have more sex to deal with my anxiety. WOW Really???

 

I went to another honored doctor at another leading Russian center at Moscow , center sponsored by administration of out president PUTIN. She said that I have schizophrenia.... I went to another honored doctor at another honored big center at Moscow and he said that I definitely have no shizofprenia . I got prescribed more benzos.....    I am not joking... I was so confused .  I Finally I found doctor with big expirence at one of the best private clinics in Moscow. AT that time I was in very bad condition. could not sleep more then 3-4 hours. Extremely anxious.  Burning skin. I got prescribed escitalopram. 

 

After a week on 5mg dose my sleep desapeared completely . So my doctor prescribed me guess what? right! phenazepam. Once again I had been told that benzo addiction is vary rare and its not your case.  So on her advise I started to take phenazepam on daily basis. After a month on escitalopram and phenazepam I felt great , sleep 7-8 hours.   so I asked my doctor if I can stop phenazepam. She agreed , said I need no taper.  So I stopped and hell broke loose.  After I week without benzo I were lying in bed not sleeping at all grasping for air, heart palpations, high blood pressure and tons of other symptoms. 

 

Of course i called my doctor , she said its IMPOSSIBLE,  its must be something else , it cant be benzo withdrawal. She asked me to up my escitalopram dose. I did it and felt worse. So my doctor CT me from escitalopram , and I felt much worse . It was so bad so I wanted to die. After 5 days of not sleeping i started seeing thing that do not exist  Finally I got hospitalazied to psych ward.  They took me neuroleptics but they didn't work, so I got prescribed phenazepam one again.  I felt better , in slept few hours, now more halucinations. Next day nurse had left her program opened and I saw my diagnose Shizofrenia .

 

They diagnosed me without even talking to me only because I had halucinations after 5 days without sleep and more days with a little sleep before.  So I waited until morning and when first doctor unlocked the door to department  I pushed him and escaped.  At home I google thing that every doctor asked me not to. I google internet about benzodiazepines, antidepressants, withdrawal symptoms., kindling..

 

AT this time phenazepam almost stopped working for me so reinstate and slow taper wasn't a option .  I had a lot of symptoms but my biggest issue was brutal insomnia. . I could not sleep for week.  So I went to another psychiatrist and started mirtazapne , it worked at the beginning then I stopped working  again and got andrenaline rushed, diarrhea . Then I tried clomipramine and got seizures after one pill. Then mirtazapine again with little effect. Then fluvoxamine with no effect. Somehow I started sleeping even without antidepressant. And benzo withdrawal symptoms changed to antidepressants withdrawal simptomes (hives, allergy to food and a tons of other things after mirtazapine) then trembling after clomipramine. blurred vision after fluvoxamine.

 

I accumulated every symptome. So I stopped trying antidepressants and started Seroquel and Depakote(possibly kindled gaba receptors on it), it worked for my sleep for two months and then stopped . I didn't change dose I slowly tapered and  quit all drugs.   I almost didnt sleep for three weeks but then I started sleeping again 2-3 hours a day.  After four months I quit every drug I were sleeping 3-6 hours of broke sleep.  Some symptoms subdue. I even watched avengers endgame at cinema , yeah I had almost a dozen panic attacks at cinema scaring people around but I did it. 

 

I was getting better. But I wanted more sleep so I tried so "natural antidepressant" L-tryptophan. I thought if we eat tryptophan with food its safe to take it as supplement.   I was wrong.  I took 500mg every day for a week., I slept really better on it but suddenly it stopped working and  half of my symptoms returned. Worst  part I cant sleep at all after I tried l-tryptophan . It have been three days without sleep. I am exhausted. I am so angry on myself. This message is warning to everybody everybody who think about using supplements while in withdrawal. I think I had this type of reaction because I tried antidepressants before. It seems kindling can occur not only with benzo but with antidepressants too. Once again sorry for my bad English.

Edited by Shep
added username to title, added spacing for readability, added link to benzo forum thread

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Shep

Hi, Alex.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

Your English is very good. And I can see you've done a lot of research on benzo and antidepressant withdrawal, along with the concept of kindling. You are right - you are dealing with withdrawal symptoms and kindling, not any form of mental illness. 

 

Here is some information on dealing with insomnia:

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Are you still on any of these drugs or are you completely off? 

 

You are correct that supplements can cause problems during withdrawal. We don't recommend a lot of supplements, as many members report their nervous systems are simply too fragile to handle them. However, magnesium and fish oil tend to be calming to the nervous system and many people report they do help. Please only add in one supplement at a time and at a small dose. For more, please see:

 

 King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

If you're able to tolerate magnesium, you may find Epsom salt baths to be helpful for your insomnia. 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

  • Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
  • Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
  • Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
  • Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
  • A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
  • This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and to ask questions. Once we know if you are currently on any of these drugs or how long you've been off, we can give you more specific advice. 

 

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AlexRussia

thx for response.  I dont remember exact dates. All i remember that i last time i took phenazpeman was september or october 2018.  I took nothing except tryptoohan and probiotics (lactobactetium and etcfor my upset stomach) for the last 3-4 month.  Phenazepam dose - 1mg when needed. Kindled many times. Escitalopram 5-7.5mg one month i think ,CT.  I had some memory issues. Everyting mixed in my head. Mirtazapine 30mg 1-2 month. Fast two week taper . Seroquel 25 then 50 then 100mg 1-2 month maybe, dont rember . Fast taper. Depakote 600mg FT . Other drugs i took for one week , got side reactions and stopped ct. As i said its difficult to me to remember numbers and dates . I blame phenazepam for my memory issues.  have a lot of symptoms like  burning skin, tingling, anxiety,  crying for no reason and etc, nothing special , everyting typical for benzo/ad withdrawal .  Somehow i manage to tolerate them all  except insomnia. It got better after bad experience with tryptophan, now i can sleep 2-6 hours of broken sleep full of crazy vivid dreams.  l tried cbt-i several times with opposite effect. Excercising seems to aggravate my insomnia but i do cycling every morning. I did research on magnesium a long time ago,  some scientists showed that mg2+ affect gaba receptors. So i dont want to take magnesium for benzo withdrawal. In my opinion best thing is not to take anything for your withdrawal . 

 

 

 

 

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AlexRussia

I have read few another stories on this forum. Same problems as in Russia. Doctors ruins peoples lives. Pharmacy companies ruins peopkes lives

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Shep
19 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

I dont remember exact dates. All i remember that i last time i took phenazpeman was september or october 2018.  I took nothing except tryptoohan and probiotics (lactobactetium and etcfor my upset stomach) for the last 3-4 month.  Phenazepam dose - 1mg when needed. Kindled many times. Escitalopram 5-7.5mg one month i think ,CT.  I had some memory issues. Everyting mixed in my head. Mirtazapine 30mg 1-2 month. Fast two week taper . Seroquel 25 then 50 then 100mg 1-2 month maybe, dont rember . Fast taper. Depakote 600mg FT . Other drugs i took for one week , got side reactions and stopped ct. As i said its difficult to me to remember numbers and dates . I blame phenazepam for my memory issues.

 

Alex, thanks for the additional information regarding your drug history, but without dates, we really can't give you any advice. 

 

Have you been off all drugs since September or October of 2018? 

 

It's unclear when you were on the other drugs you list. Please do the best you can with your signature. Listing months (or approximate months) along with the year is all that is required. This is an example. Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years, so this will make it easier. For the last two years, please list the month and year. 

 

Quote

 

Example:

2001–2002 paroxetine 
2003  citalopram 
2004  paroxetine
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg

 

 

A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Create Your Signature in "Account Settings"

 

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AlexRussia
Posted (edited)

wI am not sure about everything that follows. As i said before everything mixed in my mind.  Sorry for my english.

2017 - jule 2018

phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

 

aug 2018

phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

 

september 2018

CT from benzo and escitalopram.Mania then  Bedridden.Typical benzo and ads withdrawal symptoms even brain zaps . No sleep for days.

Psych ward, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

 

october 2018

mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

 

november 2018

Mirtszapine stopped working for sleep. 

Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  FT (two weeks) Reistated benzo and CT after week. 5 days with no sleep

 

december 2018

seroquel 25 then 50mg, 

fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptilline 25 or  75 several days..

 

january- 2019

seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes

depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

 

february 2019

FT serquel, FT depakote.

 

Feb- March 2019

Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times. Then started sleeping a little, started excersizing, probiotics helped a lot,  felt better. 

 

april 2019

Felt better,  no more high  blood pressure, no more headaches . But severe skin burning, tingling, head pressure and insomnia are still here. 

 

Beginning of May 2019

Setback on tryptophan 500mg . 

17th of may 2019 

Felt better can sleep again. 

 

For now my most annoying symptoms are severe skin burning, insomnia (2-6 hours of broken sleep with vivid dreams) , head pressure, memory issues.  To be honest after i red another stories i understood that my case is not bad at all...  A lot of people here are suffering moch worse then me.. Its so sad that so many lives ruined by greedy medical companies and unprofessional doctors... 

 

Edited by Shep
removed large blank space at the end of the message

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VincentV
On 5/9/2019 at 2:02 PM, AlexRussia said:

went to psychiatrist, told her about my possible benzo addiction, she said that I have gad and I need to take antidepressants. I got prescribed amitriptilline.  After few days I got heart palpations on it and could . I went to another psychiatrist she said that amitriptilline is very old drug and prescribed paroxetine. After a few days on paroxetine I stopped sleeping , and my new doctor said that it cannot be, she said that I am lying

Hi Alex,  Привет из Англии :)

 

Your experience sounds horrendous and the psychiatrists from what you described sound, frankly, dangerous. I am very sorry that you've had such an awful time. 

 

I have no personal experience with benzo withdrawal but I know it is definitely real and medically recognised here in the UK and in the rest of the west as far as I can gather. There are also set protocols for withdrawal. My understanding is that benzo withdrawal is real and recovery is hard but very possible. 

 

It is clearly not very easy accessing proper psychiatric care and support for benzo withdrawal in Russia. Is going abroad an option? Your symptoms sound very much like benzo withdrawal to me. 

 

There is a wealth of experience and advice regarding benzo withdrawal and poly drugging on this forum. Hopefully one of the moderators will be along soon to offer some better advice. 

Пожалуйста, оставайся сильным

 

 

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AlexRussia

thank u very much for kind words. After all i got through I dont trust any doctors and i dont believe in pills anymore.  I hope that the time will heal me.   

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TreeElf

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. There's so many stories of this type of thing happening, yet it still shocks me. I'm glad you've found this forum, you will get the support you deserve here. Stay strong and keep hope, you'll get through this and be able to share your story to help others. Best wishes x

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Shep

@AlexRussia Thanks for the additional information. I added part of what you posted and created a signature for you. Feel free to make corrections or additions, but I think it's a good overview of the past two years of your drug history.

 

21 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

Feb- March 2019

Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times. Then started sleeping a little, started excersizing, probiotics helped a lot,  felt better. 

 

april 2019

Felt better,  no more high  blood pressure, no more headaches . But severe skin burning, tingling, head pressure and insomnia are still here. 

 

Beginning of May 2019

Setback on tryptophan 500mg . 

17th of may 2019 

Felt better can sleep again. 

 

For now my most annoying symptoms are severe skin burning, insomnia (2-6 hours of broken sleep with vivid dreams) , head pressure, memory issues.

 

It looks like you are slowly getting better as time passes and you no longer take any more drugs. So you have a great point here:

 

On 5/16/2019 at 1:16 PM, AlexRussia said:

In my opinion best thing is not to take anything for your withdrawal . 

 

 

I agree. We have some information on non-drug coping techniques that you may find helpful:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Non-drug techniques for dealing with body pain

 

For insomnia:

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Wearing a sleep mask or using room-darkening curtains or shades can help block out the early morning light. This can help with early awakenings. 

 

You may want to look for YouTube videos in Russian for guided sleep meditations and gentle yoga stretches to help with pain. 

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AlexRussia

Thank you all for your support and advices. I think I have returned to "before tryptophan" state.  No more severe skin burning , only moderate.  Sleep got better too.

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Shep

I'm glad to read you're seeing improvements. As sleep continues to improve, you'll see even more improvements. 

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AlexRussia

I am reading right now "Psychiatry .  National guide" made by "russian society of psychiatrists". This book widely used by many doctors in russia.  Quote from book " Long term use of  benzo  for anxiety disorders for six months or more are safe and effective" . Next quote " withdrawal doest last more then 3 weeks" ...  I think this guide should be renamed to "Genocide. National Guide. " I cant even image how many peoples lives were broken by this guide.  And what do u think this guide says about withdrawal from antidepressants and neuroleptics. Nothing, like there is no withdrawal.  Its absolutely insane. 

 

 

On 5/18/2019 at 2:08 PM, AbbyElfie said:

 

 

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AlexRussia

now i 100% sure that i have excersize intolerance. Tried several times.  Feel great while traing, feel worse afterwards. severe tinnitus added to my symptoms and no sleep at all after last cycling routine. I hope i didint mess my body irreverserebly.

Looks like benzo withdrawal consequences. I am done with excersizes

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Shep

You may want to limit your exercise to a gentle 15 or 30 minute walk out in the sun everyday. That is gentle enough that it likely won't cause upticks in symptoms, plus being out in nature will get you some natural vitamin D from the sun. 

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AlexRussia
On ‎5‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 6:34 PM, Shep said:

You may want to limit your exercise to a gentle 15 or 30 minute walk out in the sun everyday. That is gentle enough that it likely won't cause upticks in symptoms, plus being out in nature will get you some natural vitamin D from the sun. 

 

Thanks for advice. And I wonder why do I have intolerance ? Is it benzo or antidepressant withdrawal, or both?  

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Shep
20 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

And I wonder why do I have intolerance ? Is it benzo or antidepressant withdrawal, or both?  

 

Yes, you are correct - it could be both. 

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AlexRussia

I have have done some reseach 

It seems repeated strees, antidepredsants withdrawal, benzo withdrawal,kindling have one big thing in common , its glutamate system upregulation. It could be receptor hypersensivity or increase of glutamate level or both.  Protracted withdrawal for years might be caused by long term glutamate system upregulation and its neurotoxicity.  I think low glutamate diet, b12 vitamin injections  might be helpful. Glutamate receptor antagonists  showed good results when taper of benzos and possibly can be used while tapering antidepressants but i  not sure about long term safety.  I will continue my research. 

 

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Shep
On 6/2/2019 at 3:11 AM, AlexRussia said:

I think low glutamate diet, b12 vitamin injections  might be helpful.

 

Please be careful with vitamin B12 injections - some members find that B12 increases anxiety and insomnia.

 

Vitamin B12: essential for mood, nervous system

 

Important topics about tests, supplements, treatments, diet

 

If you're having any trouble sleeping, you may want to try getting your B12 in foods until your nervous system is stable enough to handle a B12 injection. Or you may want to try a small amount in supplement form first. 

 

Please note: 

 

On 11/2/2011 at 6:21 PM, Altostrata said:

What to do if you can't tolerate a vitamin B12 supplement?

Some people do have difficulty taking B12 supplements and other B vitamin supplements -- they find the B vitamins in this form cause surges of anxiety, palpitations, sleeplessness, etc. (symptoms of nervous system activation).

 

If you have been tapering psychiatric drugs or have withdrawal syndrome, your nervous system may well be sensitized to B vitamins. You need to be very careful about all B supplements, they may be too strong for you and trigger activation.

 

 

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AlexRussia
3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Please be careful with vitamin B12 injections - some members find that B12 increases anxiety and insomnia.

 

Thanks for warning, I wont try it.  

My insomnia is tolerable these days.  I just want to be sure that I have plan B if anything go very wrong that's why I am focused on finding information about cns damage, paws, etc

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AlexRussia

Small update.  Doing not bad at all.   Of course I understand that the wave will come eventually. Maybe tomorrow.   Right now I am more worried about mental damage these drugs did to me, i mean strong fear of not be able to sleep at night, hypohondria ,  fear of incoming neverending wave , fear of never be healed to point where I can work at normal job and create a family.  Right now I am not sure whether most part my symptoms caused by drugs withdrawal or by my fears and negative thinking.  

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Altostrata
Kostas

Alex

Since you have windows and waves, there is no way to have permanent damage! 

Otherwise you would be feeling terrible all the time. 

Your self is trying to make a new homeostasis, and eventually it will succeed. 

The only unknown is the time span and the amount of distress till then. 

Take care 

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AlexRussia
Posted (edited)

Altostrata and Kostas thank you very much for you support and info.  

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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AlexRussia

I new it! Yesterday I felt like 99% healed besides tolerable insomnia.  At the evening I was so afraid of wave and insomnia, so I resisted sleep,crying scared of insomnia as I result when I finally fell asleep I woke up in a hour with headache, heart palpations, burning, tinnitus and other symptoms. I am so angry that my body ready to be healed but mentally I am not.  I am agnostic, unsuccesefully tried to believe in god, I don't have children or gf, family don't care . I have no hobby and never had in my life , nothing to live for, its a problem. It seems I cant stop focus on my health, so its impossible to me be healed while I have nothing to live for except for my body Truths is I have been in deep depression after 18 years old.   I swear from this moment I despise any kind of fear, if u see my crying about my poor life again pls say "SHUT UP"  to me . I don't deserve being treated like good person. Why cant I just forget last 2 years of my life. What if I was healed months ago and everything else is just PTSD and phobias. Any kind of phobia and ptsd based on memory, I will try to convince myself that last two years was just a bad dream and nothing of these didn't happen in RL. 

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RichT
1 hour ago, AlexRussia said:

I new it! Yesterday I felt like 99% healed besides tolerable insomnia.  At the evening I was so afraid of wave and insomnia, so I resisted sleep,crying scared of insomnia as I result when I finally fell asleep I woke up in a hour with headache, heart palpations, burning, tinnitus and other symptoms. I am so angry that my body ready to be healed but mentally I am not.  I am agnostic, unsuccesefully tried to believe in god, I don't have children or gf, family don't care . I have no hobby and never had in my life , nothing to live for, its a problem. It seems I cant stop focus on my health, so its impossible to me be healed while I have nothing to live for except for my body Truths is I have been in deep depression after 18 years old.   I swear from this moment I despise any kind of fear, if u see my crying about my poor life again pls say "SHUT UP"  to me . I don't deserve being treated like good person. Why cant I just forget last 2 years of my life. What if I was healed months ago and everything else is just PTSD and phobias. Any kind of phobia and ptsd based on memory, I will try to convince myself that last two years was just a bad dream and nothing of these didn't happen in RL. 

 

Hi Alex,

 

it’s very normal to be scared of your symptoms, you don’t need to punish yourself in this way. Worrying about anything and everything is actually a part of anxiety in withdrawal! Can you try to ‘reframe’ things in a more positive way?  You had a good day yesterday and that’s a great step forward, and having windows and waves is completely normal and expected. So many people on here have an improvement and then a step back - it’s very common. Don’t blame yourself.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

 

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AlexRussia
14 hours ago, RichT said:

 

Hi Alex,

 

it’s very normal to be scared of your symptoms, you don’t need to punish yourself in this way. Worrying about anything and everything is actually a part of anxiety in withdrawal! Can you try to ‘reframe’ things in a more positive way?  You had a good day yesterday and that’s a great step forward, and having windows and waves is completely normal and expected. So many people on here have an improvement and then a step back - it’s very common. Don’t blame yourself.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

 

You are right. Thank you.  To avoid triggers i will try to follow some rules,

1. No negative thought. 

2. No emotions at all, they are harmful. It doesnt matter positive or negative, they all are triggers 

3. To Find meaning in life (hardest one)

 

 

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RichT
6 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

You are right. Thank you.  To avoid triggers i will try to follow some rules,

1. No negative thought. 

2. No emotions at all, they are harmful. It doesnt matter positive or negative, they all are triggers 

3. To Find meaning in life (hardest one)

 

 

 

Hi Alex,

 

I think you are trying to do something impossible with 1 and 2.  Unfortunately feelings and negative thoughts are unavoidable, particularly when you’re in withdrawal. What you can do is notice them when they happen. Just being aware of them is a great help. 

 

Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

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AlexRussia

Update. 90F outside. Dont have AC.  I suppose  developed extreme heat intolerance or my wave got deeper. Cant sleep at night but want to so much,  shortness of breath, extreme burning and pain in legs, arms, heart palpations, blood pressure. Currentry housebond and mostly bedridden. 

 

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AlexRussia

Update. My state changed again. Got mobile AC few dayc ago. Its very noisy but still usable. Sleep got better but not much. So now main sympton is insomnia, everything else is tolerable and dont affect me much. I am 100 percent functional again. Usually i go to sleep at 10-11 pm, but becouse of crazy neighbours dog and worsening paradoxal uncontrollable fear of insomnia often i cant close my eyes until 3-4 am. Problem is that i live in country and birds usually wake up at 2am. At 4am birds stop singing but my father wake up and start feeding cats. And with my father  28 cats are awake so after that there are nothing that can help me sleep. I tried earplugs but my skin is to sensitive and my ears started burning. I am really thinking about digging underground bunker where i can sleep in peace. 

 

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TreeElf

You're not alone Alex. I've experienced almost all of what you described, particularly the skin burning lately and constant fear. Your body and mind will recover, be kind to yourself x

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AlexRussia

Thanks , I hope so

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AlexRussia

Tried cbt for insomnia for few days, restricted my time in bed and etc.  .Now i cant sleep at all. Cbt failed me. I have no symptons at all except absolute imsomnia, i never tired, never feel sleepy. I dont know what to do...Never ever before i felt so desperate, like my life came to end fibally. I am afraid i can harm myself

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RichT

I know Alex, insomnia can be an intense kind of hell, can’t it? 

 

I have found wax earplugs to be helpful - I don’t know it that’s what you tried, but I found they didn’t irritate me. They don’t actually go in the ear but over the outside. They have helped me get some rest in noisy places.

 

wishing you a speedy recovery, and some relaxation and peace.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

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AlexRussia

. Thx for advice. Earplugs didnt help. No sleep at all again. Dont feel tired at all and when i am trying to sleep i got anxiety , racing heart,  so i think my fear of sleep now persist on subcontious level.  I think i have reached the boiling point. 

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