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AlexRussia: polydrugged in Russia


AlexRussia

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Is it still hot at night? Is there still a lot of noise early in the morning?

 

What time are you going to bed?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Alex:  You will get better. Your sleep will get better in time.  Try not to worry about it.  Just have faith you will get better.  I went through what you did... I had horrible insomnia... and I got better and went away.  It is temporary.   It improves.  Truly. It's just a temporary phase and your sleep will be restored. While you are going through it, it feels awful, yes, but you will be okay eventually. Truly.  Have faith in that. You will get better; your sleep will get better. 

When you worry about it, your nervous system just gets agitated, and your body goes into a fight and flight mechanism, and that increases anxiety and makes it even harder to sleep.

 

Accept that your sleep is not great now.  Accept that it will take a while to get your sleep back, and when you can't sleep, just try to mediate, calm yourself and lie and try to rest.  Even just lying and resting restores your body. Of course sleeping is better, but resting is still good too..

 It sounds that you are not that old.  You will not get physically sick from the insomnia.  People have jobs that keep them up and they don't have good sleep for many days and weeks and months.  Some women have babies for months who don't sleep well and they are up many times a night. It won't hurt your physically, you will just be tired.

 

Just for now, accept sleep is not perfect you might be tired... but just live in the moment when you are lying in bed and resting.  Say to yourself: "If I fall asleep, good, if I don't, I will be okay too." -- and eventually everything will improve. "

 Truly, you will get your sleep back!  I had months when I could not sleep and was pacing and it was horrible. But, it got better.  I have seen so many people on this forum whose sleep improved too. And, I can see now that worrying made it worse. Try not to worry.  Tell yourself you will get better -- you will get better!   Don't fight against the insomnia... just accept, and have faith that it will improve in time. 

Best wishes,



 

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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Thanks everybody for kind words and advices.   I managed to overcome my fear of insomnia and  get some unrestful sleep for two days. .  Now problem is very low sleep drive . I want to share with you how i managed to overcome extreme fear of sleeping/insomnia.  I hope it will help somebody .  Our phobias are reflexes. Every time we fear our reflex become stronger but there is a way to broke circuit very fast. Strong negative associations cant coexist with strong positive. So every time my subconcious starts thinking about bed and associated fear i start doing breathing 4-7-8 or 5-5-5 exercise, start smiling then image how i loved to sleep when i was a child. How i loved sense of falling to dreams.I literally produce love feeling to bed and pillow. It worked.  But then i encountered low sleep drive and my skin significantrly more red then usual. Right now i am  working at home as a gamedev on indie project. I noticed that everytime i focus on monitor my skin become red, scars become violet.  And my skin tone usually associated with sleep and anxiety.  more redness means less sleep and otherwise.  I use blue light filter. After 3-4 pm i stopped working and i dont use any devices until next day. i like My job and it is not stressfull at all. So why pc affect my skin tone and possibly sleep? Btw i am trying low carb diet and realised that almost evetything low carb  that i can buy here in Russia usually contain good amount of glutamate. What is better diet for sleep? Keto or low msg?

 

 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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  • Mentor
1 hour ago, AlexRussia said:

Thanks everybody for kind words and advices.   I managed to overcome my fear of insomnia and  get some unrestful sleep for two days. .  Now problem is very low sleep drive . I want to share with you how i managed to overcome extreme fear of sleeping/insomnia.  I hope it will help somebody .  Our phobias are reflexes. Every time we fear our reflex become stronger but there is a way to broke circuit very fast. Strong negative associations cant coexist with strong positive. So every time my subconcious starts thinking about bed and associated fear i start doing breathing 4-7-8 or 5-5-5 exercise, start smiling then image how i loved to sleep when i was a child. How i loved sense of falling to dreams.I literally produce love feeling to bed and pillow. It worked.  But then i encountered low sleep drive and my skin significantrly more red then usual. Right now i am  working at home as a gamedev on indie project. I noticed that everytime i focus on monitor my skin become red, scars become violet.  And my skin tone usually associated with sleep and anxiety.  more redness means less sleep and otherwise.  I use blue light filter. After 3-4 pm i stopped working and i dont use any devices until next day. i like My job and it is not stressfull at all. So why pc affect my skin tone and possibly sleep? Btw i am trying low carb diet and realised that almost evetything low carb  that i can buy here in Russia usually contain good amount of glutamate. What is better diet for sleep? Keto or low msg?

 

 

 

Hi Alex, great news that you got some sleep through your positive thinking techniques.

 

I have no medical expertise, but I’m guessing that your increased redness may be due to increased blood flow in your skin. Perhaps this comes about when you concentrate hard on your work -  even if it does not feel stressful, you are making a lot of mental effort (I was a developer for quite a lot of my career btw!)

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 = medication taken now

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to 2020 Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 

2020 July reduced quetiapine to 200mg

2022 October began taper of Abilify
 

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6 hours ago, RichT said:

 

Hi Alex, great news that you got some sleep through your positive thinking techniques.

 

I have no medical expertise, but I’m guessing that your increased redness may be due to increased blood flow in your skin. Perhaps this comes about when you concentrate hard on your work -  even if it does not feel stressful, you are making a lot of mental effort (I was a developer for quite a lot of my career btw!)

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

thanks Rich. I noticed that worsening of my symptoms started right after i started using pc again. Just sitting in front of it makes me feel agitated. All my acute Wd i didnt use pc. Somehow i dont have redness from smatphone even after watching movies on it. And after few weeks using pc i look like tomato ))) From today i decided to take a brake from pc and see if my insomnia get better

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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Still suffering from terrible insomnia (2-3 hours of sleep)  Finally yesterday i was so sleepy so went to bed at 11pm but was awakened by extremely loud barkins of neighbours dog at 1am.  I have been suffering more then 10 years becouse of loud 45 my mothers cats (now 28) , drunk street gopniks, which i fought several times at night , now that dog and w/d . I called my neighbours instanty ,they blocked the call, so i went outside and started knocking their 5 meter tall metal door leading to their garden. Finally they called me back and said that  they dont give a.... about dog and they have called police. I knew that police never shows up in our neibrhood so i continued punching the door. After 30 mintes of heavy knocking they finally came outside and locked the barking dog inside the house.  I returned to bed but wasnt able to fall asleep.. 

Besides terrible insomnia a have burning  palms.  Headache, neck pain(always have problems with neck)

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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  • Administrator

That doesn't sound like a good sleep situation, Alex. Can you use earplugs to block out all the noise?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Altostrata said:

That doesn't sound like a good sleep situation, Alex. Can you use earplugs to block out all the noise?

I tried several times, last time  my ears started to burn. Its not an allergy. My skin usually burn  if get anything in touch with it for a long time. I have found new cbt specialist and have an appointment tomorrow. And i am constructing new cooling system for my bedroom, am trying to use plastic tubes to deliver cold air from my loud mobile air conditioner to my bedroom from another room .If i succeed i will be able to sleep with closed windows. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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i have isolated my room from sound and light. Still cant sleep more the 2-3 hours. And my quality of sleep rapidly deteroating. i wake up every hour - 15 minutes shaking , burning with terrible heart palpation. Am afraid i wont be able to sleep in near future

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Have attended two specialistas today, one cbt spec, second one sleep spec.  I was diagnised ptsd and wd related insomnia.  Mentally feeling very bad..I am not sure if it withdrawal anymore or i just cant stop thinking about my sleep. Every evening terrorize me, i want to totally erase my memory and thus my fears. Today i was running in the forest tgen doing push ups.  Still have a lot of energy.  .  And i am going to run again in the evening until my heart stop beating.   I dont want belive that i am in withdrawal anymore,    I have remebered that many years ago i took paxil for several weeks and got mild wd becouse i didnt know that wd exist.  I think all my restrictions now affect my mental health 100 times more then actually wd. Cant stop being anxious about anything related to sleep. i suppose in few days  i become manic and will be hospitalised

 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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Ok, i did running yesterday, didnt sleep at night, took doxylamine to get some sleep in the morning. Now i see i started feeling progressively worse after i bought bike and started doing physical activity. I tried every king of physical activity (walking, cycling, running, driving) no windows/waves, i just feel worse after any physical activity. But if i dont do any activity for few days i become paranoid , angry, cant sit in one place. Now my sleep worse then in the beginning of withdrawal. I could not sleep at all without aids. Great!! Damn u grandma who gave me phenazepam years ago. Damn u doctors.  

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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  • Mentor

hi Alex,

 

It looks like you feel you’re in a no-win situation with exercise. I don’t know what to suggest really - maybe limiting yourself to gentle exercise might be enough to burn off some of the negative feelings. Is there a green space near where you live? I find that being in that kind of place calms me down a lot.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

 

 = medication taken now

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to 2020 Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 

2020 July reduced quetiapine to 200mg

2022 October began taper of Abilify
 

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16 hours ago, RichT said:

hi Alex,

 

It looks like you feel you’re in a no-win situation with exercise. I don’t know what to suggest really - maybe limiting yourself to gentle exercise might be enough to burn off some of the negative feelings. Is there a green space near where you live? I find that being in that kind of place calms me down a lot.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

 

It seems fron now i will not be able exercise  for some period. Just got i ln my first real wave. Shaking badly,  Lying in bed, Whole body vibrating and etc..At least no heart palpations. Will try to focus on my work.  Right now i am develiping ai for game. And thx Rich, it seem, i wanted like u post a lot in other people themes and support them but shy about my english

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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Almost completely lose ability to sleep. Constantly shaking like parkinsons. Never feel tired. I think i am going to die soon

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Hi Alex,

 

I can relate to not feeling tired with insomnia. That’s how I felt, in spite of knowing I must be exhausted underneath. Don’t worry, insomnia won’t kill you, even if you’re feeling very ill. Hang on in there, it will eventually go.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 = medication taken now

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to 2020 Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 

2020 July reduced quetiapine to 200mg

2022 October began taper of Abilify
 

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 Update.  This time i refused to leave house for few days. Got into argument with all my relatives becouse i refused to go to shop or do anything in the house. I locked myself in my room in my own house to get rid of relatives and few days later i started sleeping again, shaking almost gone. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment
  • Mentor
13 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

 Update.  This time i refused to leave house for few days. Got into argument with all my relatives becouse i refused to go to shop or do anything in the house. I locked myself in my room in my own house to get rid of relatives and few days later i started sleeping again, shaking almost gone. 

 

Wow, that’s quite a result! I hope it continues.

 

WARMEST WISHES,

 

Rich

 = medication taken now

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to 2020 Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 

2020 July reduced quetiapine to 200mg

2022 October began taper of Abilify
 

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main question . how to contine sleep 3 hours a day and work  8 hours a day without losing productivity..... and i am on low carbs diet now, carbs definetly makes me feel bad. Realy want to try flumazenil and ketamine single injections. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Cbt-i failed again, so no more tries.  ketodiet failed, so started eating fruits again and feel better. Checked for lyme, b12, d3 , insulin, sugar.  All is fine except d3 , lower then normal, but not very much. Main symptom still maintance insomnia, vivid dreams.  Other symptoms are tolerable. Ok, so here is the plan. Forget about any physical activity until 2020.   No sports at all, only shopping when needed. Still not sure about work, i am absolutely sure that computer makes me less sleepy at night even if i work in the morning. .it was plan A called "time"  . Plan B . Ketamine infusion in Europe. Plan C. Flumazenil infusion in Russia by myself.   Plac. D internazal mesechymal stem cells in Belarus.  

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment
On 5/18/2019 at 7:36 AM, AlexRussia said:

thank u very much for kind words. After all i got through I dont trust any doctors and i dont believe in pills anymore.  I hope that the time will heal me.   

Amen

1999:  Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse  reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months.                     2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects)

2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg  (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram  2mg ,  approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held.  2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg 7 May 22 2.31mg 17/09/2023 0.8mg

(Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts)

I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath
- Dante
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On 7/3/2019 at 2:04 AM, AlexRussia said:

main question . how to contine sleep 3 hours a day and work  8 hours a day without losing productivity..... and i am on low carbs diet now, carbs definetly makes me feel bad. Realy want to try flumazenil and ketamine single injections. 

Magnesium salt baths? 

1999:  Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse  reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months.                     2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects)

2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg  (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram  2mg ,  approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held.  2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg 7 May 22 2.31mg 17/09/2023 0.8mg

(Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts)

I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath
- Dante
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  • Mentor
7 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

Cbt-i failed again, so no more tries.  ketodiet failed, so started eating fruits again and feel better. Checked for lyme, b12, d3 , insulin, sugar.  All is fine except d3 , lower then normal, but not very much. Main symptom still maintance insomnia, vivid dreams.  Other symptoms are tolerable. Ok, so here is the plan. Forget about any physical activity until 2020.   No sports at all, only shopping when needed. Still not sure about work, i am absolutely sure that computer makes me less sleepy at night even if i work in the morning. .it was plan A called "time"  . Plan B . Ketamine infusion in Europe. Plan C. Flumazenil infusion in Russia by myself.   Plac. D internazal mesechymal stem cells in Belarus.  

 

Hi Alex,

 

self-infusion of Flumazenil would be extremely dangerous. Please don’t try that.  

 

R

 

 = medication taken now

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to 2020 Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 

2020 July reduced quetiapine to 200mg

2022 October began taper of Abilify
 

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19 hours ago, India said:

Magnesium salt baths? 

didnt try. have exremely negative experience when ct of 200mg magnesium after very short term use. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment
16 hours ago, RichT said:

 

Hi Alex,

 

self-infusion of Flumazenil would be extremely dangerous. Please don’t try that.  

 

R

 

yeah i know, but i i am 80  percent sure that most damade was caused by benzo . I have remembered so many after my first post. I am having right now same symptoms i have before ssri and other stuff. Honestly ssri withdrawal symptoms like nauses , zaps feelings passed long time, btw i was on 5mg, and i was on paxil long time ago 10 mg, and ct after few weeks without big problems.  And i remebered how i was on low doses of magnesium (nmda antagonist) lavander(nmda antagonist), motherwort ( gaba antagonist) right after i dropped mirtazapine  And on that combination i was sleeping for 5-7 hours of good sleep ..becouse  But when my doc at that time said that its placebo i dropped magnesium and other stuff. Since next day got 5 days of no sleep. Then i started seroquel and depakote.Depakote(valproate) ruined my gaba receptors again. Right now i know a whole bunch od people here in Russia who had severe insomnia  after use of phenazepam (my two neighbours,my grandpa, grandma)  , 

Interstingly for many of them extreme insomnia is the only severe withdrawal symptom.Phenapam active metabolites have very long t1/2  (7-10 days) So if u take it every day, extreme concentration builds up in bloid and brain, of course gaba adapts by downregulation of receptors, and glutamate upregulations. Thats why magnesium and lavender was so effective .  Flumazenil in theory could reverse damage caused by heavy use of benzo.

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

Flumazenil in theory could reverse damage caused by heavy use of benzo.

 

Yes, your are correct - in theory. However, it is very risky and many people have severe setbacks. 

 

Flumazenil is touted as a fast cure for benzo withdrawal, however, the various benzo forums are full of people who came out of that treatment severely injured and had to reinstate (and many times, are prescribed other drugs such as gabapentin, Lyrica, and / or antidepressants and antipsychotics). Basically, Flumazenil treatment is a form of cold turkey in which Flumazenil may or may not alleviate withdrawal. 

 

There's a good article that was researched and posted over on Benzo Buddies. If you haven't already come across it, you may want to have a read:

 

FLUMAZENIL AND BENZO WITHDRAWAL

 

A slow and careful taper is the best advice we can give, bringing in as many non-drug coping skills and as much self-care as possible. 

 

It sounds like you went cold turkey on a number of supplements. Supplements also should be tapered. Perhaps reinstate a small dose of magnesium and see how you do. Please only re-introduce one supplement at a time and check to make sure there aren't any conflicts with your drugs. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

 

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11 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Yes, your are correct - in theory. However, it is very risky and many people have severe setbacks. 

 

Flumazenil is touted as a fast cure for benzo withdrawal, however, the various benzo forums are full of people who came out of that treatment severely injured and had to reinstate (and many times, are prescribed other drugs such as gabapentin, Lyrica, and / or antidepressants and antipsychotics). Basically, Flumazenil treatment is a form of cold turkey in which Flumazenil may or may not alleviate withdrawal. 

 

There's a good article that was researched and posted over on Benzo Buddies. If you haven't already come across it, you may want to have a read:

 

FLUMAZENIL AND BENZO WITHDRAWAL

 

A slow and careful taper is the best advice we can give, bringing in as many non-drug coping skills and as much self-care as possible. 

 

It sounds like you went cold turkey on a number of supplements. Supplements also should be tapered. Perhaps reinstate a small dose of magnesium and see how you do. Please only re-introduce one supplement at a time and check to make sure there aren't any conflicts with your drugs. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

I didnt find any bad reviews of flumazenil among prople who are in paws. either it works or not.  Of course there could be setbacks if somebody get infusion while on benzos becouse its like cold tyrkey, even seizures coukd occur but its not my case.  if u know anybofy who got setback after flumazenil while in paws and not on any drugs pls tell me. btw i can buy dose just for 100$ . + 30$  for fake blank and 50$ for nurse servise.  +10$ for eqipment. , in total 190$ in russia compsring to 6000-7000$ in US. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Hi Alex, привет. I'm really glad you found this site. Much hell you've been through. I did not know that Russia is like this, too. I'm also Russian but have not lived there for a long time, so I've no idea how most things are over there now. This is devastating to learn. I'll be following your thread here, and hopefully offer support at times. Hugs from an internet stranger. Hang in there

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg! 11/2022: 40ish mg

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1 hour ago, Stormstrong said:

Hi Alex, привет. I'm really glad you found this site. Much hell you've been through. I did not know that Russia is like this, too. I'm also Russian but have not lived there for a long time, so I've no idea how most things are over there now. This is devastating to learn. I'll be following your thread here, and hopefully offer support at times. Hugs from an internet stranger. Hang in there

привет, nice to.meet u. big thanks.  Its very umcomfortable here in Russia these times. Everything getting worse since 2014. Gap between rich and others reached insane level. Daily tv propaganda now more and more looks like north koreans . Many people believe that "iron curtain" 2.0 is imminient. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Slept solid 5 hours today without awakenings, was really happy and then my annoying stupid selfish but very close relatives got me involved in some bad **** with police and neighbours and its still going while i writing the post . I hope i wont  mess my ns so much,l,but not sure. 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Ok. I am in epicenter of full blown conflict, GREAT!!!! …..JUST GREAT!! Already feeling like ****...….. My property has been damaged too....Now I have no choice but take action again neighbours

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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Havent slept for two days. Tired sick and angry. Since my last post multiple fist fights occurred between my neighbours and relatives and  a lot of death threats of course. Surprisingly no one got seriously injured.  Today I came to neighbours house and listened to their version of story ,  successfully reconciled with neighbours and then asked to do the same my relatives and stop this stupid conflict. Immediately got blamed of all mortal sins.  So I have less relatives now and I am happy.

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, AlexRussia said:

Havent slept for two days. Tired sick and angry. Since my last post multiple fist fights occurred between my neighbours and relatives and  a lot of death threats of course. Surprisingly no one got seriously injured.  Today I came to neighbours house and listened to their version of story ,  successfully reconciled with neighbours and then asked to do the same my relatives and stop this stupid conflict. Immediately got blamed of all mortal sins.  So I have less relatives now and I am happy.

Best action Alex. 

The least number of annoying persons  present, the best for you! 

Citalopram 20 mg

Mid June 1994- end March 1995 Then tapering 3 months 

Mid August 1995-end August 1996 Tapering 6 months 

Mid January 2000-end September 2001 Tapering 6 months

Mid October 2003-end October 2005 Tapering 7 years. 

More detailed drug history is here - ☼-kostas

Off any drug from October 2012 

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15 hours ago, Kostas said:

Best action Alex. 

The least number of annoying persons  present, the best for you! 

Yeah, thanks. Now my goal is to sleep more then 1 hour in a row)))))

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Just have remembered the whole week of my life . Another forgotten period of time came back as flashback this morning. This time the whole week. Between courses of drugs I got flu and got prescribed antibiotic cifran (ciprofloxacin). After 5 of use days I stopped sleeping completely onece again . Now I know that according to multiple researches cifran and some other antibiotics damage gaba receptors. I did cifran a lot of times before benzo and had no adverse reaction.  The only explanation of this is my gaba receptors were severely downregulated by phenazepam before cifran .  Now I I am absolutely sure that my insomnia mostly benzo  related. And I have one thing in mind. I eat meat a lot , almost everyday.  Meat full of antibiotics....   

 

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

This is Insane. My friend from  Georgia who live and work here in Russia came this morning crying and asked for 3000$ .  At night he was at train when 12-15 teenagers came to him called him "churka"( its like being called N-word in US). Then asked him all his money or they kill him . He fought back and run away but was caught by police who surprisingly were waiting in next wagon!!!....  Police got him to police station where they robbed him for 300$ (his payment for work) and threatened to depart him back to Gerogia if he say it to anybody. Then parents of one kid arrived and in front of police officer asked for 3000$ because he broke their kids nose (nose of one of the robbers...) He was so scared and agreed and sing papers (like its he attacked teenagers!!!!), then police officer stole his passport and said that he have one day to bring the money.  I didn't have this amount of money and if I had I would not give it to some robbers or corrupted cops so I asked my friend to go with me to "УСБ" (department that check police work)  and i will help.  But he refused scared of being jailed or departed. Stupid decision because now my friend on hook. I am pretty sure that these "parents" are part of police gang and even if he managed to get 3000$ they will want more and more.

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

Link to comment

Just acknowledged that in radius of 100m from my house( i live in country)   i know 5 people who take phenazepam  and cant stop take it....  This week new girl came to russian forum and told the she had lost her sleep while being on phenazepam. This drug is so strong...  About me, stable, bad insomnia still my main symptom, nothing new here.

2017 - july 2018 - phenazepam 1mg  when needed (kindling)

aug 2018 - phenazepam 1mg , escitalopram 5mg daily. 

september 2018 - CT from benzo and escitalopram, olanazapine 5mg for 3 days with no effect. Reinstated benzo 1mg , felt better and CT after few days.

october 2018 - mirtazapine (remeron)30mg

november 2018 - mirtazapine stopped working for sleep, Mirtazapine CT, then reinstated and  CT (two weeks) Reinstated benzo and CT after week

december 2018 -  seroquel 25 then 50mg, fluvoxamine several days (blurred vision), clomiprine 1 pill (seizure), amitriptyline 25 or  75 several days.

january- 2019 - seroquel 50mg started building tolerance , so took 75-100 sometimes, depakote  300mg  then 600, then 750 mg, started building tolerance too.

february 2019 - CT seroquel, CT depakote.

Feb- March 2019 - Almost no sleep for few weeks.  Took doxylamine several times.

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