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What to do? My husband triggers me.

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Hi all! My husband has tourettes(poor guy) and is constantly in motion. He taps, snores, tics, sings disjointed melodies even while eating, clears his throat loudly and yawns  loudly constantly through the day. He snores to beat the band all night. I have always been on the irritable side, so this had always been bothersome. Guess  the good Lord has a sense of humor.  He can't help it, but it is driving me insane, especially if I am having the crazy anxiety like I have been. Any suggestions for coping? My anxiety kicks in bad whenever he comes in.

It also adds to the resentment from past issues in our marriage where he has been inconsiderate. We are in counseling too. Dealing with all this at once.  live in 350 SQ. Ft. No room to get away. 

Earplugs don't work, just avoiding him and acting snappy.

Thanks for any help.

 

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powerback

The key is to Acknowledge its a ramp up of symptoms and its not personal to your husband .Do you have a tablet and maybe listen to programmes or music ,because distraction is the key in this situation ,I've had it and do have it very bad .I wear earplugs and ear defenders  and a lot of the time I wear small ear buds under my ear defenders because some one  talking on the phone can irritate me to bonkers levels .

It would be great if  we could be snappy but sadly it doesn't work like that ,the more your husband understands and learns about what your going through the better for your situation .

Its a nightmare that's for sure ,you will keep having to distract when its bad .

Peace.

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Tweet

You are right, Power back. Being snappy isn't a plan. It produces guilt which then results in depression. So tired of this crazy cycle. I am going to try to distract myself with my tablet, etc. as you suggest.  I will hope he will continue to be patient. Thoughts so much control the way we feel!

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Ryder

Even if you weren't on meds, i think if I had a dollar for everytime my Brother, Mother etc etc says something. That's just family wanting the best for you but saying probably the wrong way.

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bottlehalffull

Living with a partner with tourett's is probably easier than a partner with bipolar! Sometimes I try to listen to the radio with them and it ends up throwing them into a rage.... or they're in a manic phase and staying up for days straight and their endless energy makes me feel even more exhausted and worthless. I try to ignore them when being around them is just grating, and then they get depressed and feel lonely and I feel guilty then get angry that they're making me feel guilty.

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ChessieCat
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, bottlehalffull said:

Living with a partner with tourett's is probably easier than a partner with bipolar!

 

There is no better or worse when it comes to living with a person who has a condition or health issue.  There is just different.

 

When you live alongside someone day in day out and things that they do/not do, say/not say annoy you it eventually wears down the tolerance of the other person.

 

I've been married to a man who had health issues for many years.  This was one of several stressful life issues which caused me to end up on an antidepressant.  I've also lived for a few months with a man with high functioning Aspergers.  Both situations had their frustrations and challenges.  The big difference for me was that I stayed with my husband because I felt that it was better for our children.  The boyfriend and I were planning on getting married.  Everything was lovely but then after he moved in with me he changed (which I have since found out is common with Aspergers).  Shortly afterwards his daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers and then I did my research and realised that my boyfriend also had Aspergers.  The decision I made was based on the fact that I had had one very difficult, love-starved marriage (emotional and physical), and even though I loved my boyfriend I was not willing to enter into another marriage where I was not being cared for like I needed.

 

Edited by ChessieCat

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