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Witsend81

Witsend: desperate for advice

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Witsend81

Wed 10 July

 

Slept ok.  A few cortisol spikes.  Muscle twitches.

7am 5mg promazine

7.30am 50 mg sertraline

8.30am Wired/hyper 4/10

10am Swimming, more energy than last week

12pm 15mg promazine

12.30am Could of dread waves, subsided 

2pm Tired 5/10

5pm Depression/anxiety 4/10

7pm Felt ok

8.30pm 20mg promazine 

9pm Tired, felt ok

10pm Bed

 

Thurs 11 July

Best sleep in months.  No waking.

6am Anxiety depression 3/10

6.15am 5mg promazine 

6.30am 50mg sertraline 

8am  Felt ok

10am Went for walk,  dizziness and head for 5/10

12pm 15mg promazine

4pm Dread wave.  Settled eventually.

6.30pm Felt ok/tired

7.30pm  Spaced out/blurred vision 4/10

8pm 20mg promazine

9pm  Felt ok

10.30pm Bed

 

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Sassenach

You alright not really late night watching however your ability to diagnose yourself does you credit good luck at the doctor's

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Sassenach

Hi Wend

 

How did the GP appointment go and have you enough med to see you through the taper?

Notes look good,the Promazine hold seems to have settles things down.

What is the plan from tomorrow?

 

Sass

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Witsend81

Good morning

 

Doctor agrees not making any changes and weaning off the promazine gradually is a good idea, prescribed another bottle and he wants to see me again at the end if this prescription 👍

 

Today, we are taking Sally for a walk and dinner out in a dog friendly pub, yoga this morn.

 

How about you?

 

Wend

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Sassenach

Glad to hear from you.

Was getting slightly concerned.

Bet you will be glad to get rid of the nagger😖.

Sounds nice enjoy your day.

We are out at agility with Tango.

Don't forget notes, you might be too drunk when you get back, only joking.

Have a great day.

 

Sass

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Witsend81

I need nagging ha ha.  

 

No alcohol for me, literally terrified of the stuff messing things up!  I shall be living like a saint from no on 😇

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Sassenach

Saints have no fun.

Lighten up on yourself.😈 maybe not this much.

 

Good night.

 

Sass

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Witsend81

Ha!  In that case then I'll have to find other ways to have fun that don't involve alcohol 😉

 

Fri 12 July

Slept ok.  Awoke 4.30am, went back to sleep eventually, vivid dreaming, sweating.

7.30am 50mg sertraline 

8.30am A few waves of nausea and anxiety 3/10

10am Felt ok.  A few waves of anxiety.

12pm 15mg promazine 

2pm Felt ok, few waves of anxiety/depression feelings 3/10

6pm Felt ok, slight anxiety 1/10

8pm 20mg promazine 

9pm Felt ok, tired.

10.30pm Bed

 

Sat 13 July

 

Slept ok.  Awoke 4.30am but went back to sleep.  Muscle twitches/sweating/vivid dreaming

7am  Awoke feeling a bit anxious and depressed, 4/10.  Settled on getting out of bed and getting ready.

7.30am 50mg sertraline 

9.30am Felt ok

10.30am Exercise bike and yoga

11.30am Felt good

12pm 15 mg promazine 

1.45pm Felt tired and weak 

5pm  Some anxiety 3/10 but generally ok.

7pm Felt ok, tired

8pm 20 mg promazine

10.30pm Bed

 

Wend

 

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Sassenach

Hi Wend

Hope you had a good weekend.

9 hours ago, Witsend81 said:

Ha!  In that case then I'll have to find other ways to have fun that don't involve alcohol 😉

 

As a gentleman speaking to a"lady" the most appropriate response has to be, no comment😈

You seem more consistent on the two day taper, what are you hoping for this week.

Eight days to almost half the dose is good going.

 

Have a good evening

 

Sass

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Witsend81

Evening Sass 🙂

 

Promazine withdrawal seems to be going ok 🤞.   Going to continue reducing down 5mg every two days, all being well.

 

This weekend was good, things are definitely settling down.  Just one more week of recovery and then hopefully, back to work...(awaits cautionary warning from Sass about returning to work too early 😜).

 

Have a lovely evening.

 

Lady Wend

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Sassenach

Good morning my lady

Sass

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Witsend81

Good morning! ☀️😁☀️ 

 

Lady Wend

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Sassenach

Oy my lady.

 

There is something missing on here and I thought I would not have to ask again.

Are you winding me up?

Diary please.

If you think I am going to bow, nuts to you, I have a glass back ( Yorkshire for I am a lazy B******* ).:rolleyes:

If you think I am about to curtsy it will be in a kilt with appropriate undergarments, trust me that would give a heart attack.😈

I was going to say it is only six days since I cautioned you and the way have paced yourself means you can make an enlightened decision.

But now I won't.

By the way, how are you?

 

Sass

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Witsend81
2 hours ago, Sassenach said:

If you think I am about to curtsy it will be in a kilt with appropriate undergarments, trust me that would give a heart attack.😈

Hello Sass.  Nooo, I've been through enough already, that would finish me off!

 

I'm feeling okish, in that I definitely feel better than when I was really bad, but I'm not entirely out of the woods.  I've got some life issues that need sorting before I can get better...I'm going back to work next week, but all this had made me realise I'm not happy there anymore and I need to get a new job, less hours, more time with son.  So that's the plan.  

 

Oh yes, diary...

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Witsend81

Sun 14 July

Slept ok

7.30am 50mg sertraline

8.30am Felt ok, slight anxiety

10am Anxiety 2/10

12pm 10mg promazine 

2pm Tired, anxiety 1/10

5pm Felt ok

9pm Felt ok.   Tired.

10pm  Bed

 

As you can see, it was a very exciting day 🙄

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Sassenach

Presume you did take evening Promazine?

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Witsend81

Oh yes, silly me, 20mg of course.  Memory and concentration are shot 🙁

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Witsend81
9 hours ago, Witsend81 said:

Sun 14 July

Slept ok

7.30am 50mg sertraline

8.30am Felt ok, slight anxiety

10am Anxiety 2/10

12pm 10mg promazine 

2pm Tired, anxiety 1/10

5pm Felt ok

8pm 20mg promazine

9pm Felt ok.   Tired.

10pm  Bed

 

As you can see, it was a very exciting day 🙄

 

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Sassenach

Hi Wend

 

Have you noticed in your diaries that your AMs are good but tiredness and anxiety start each day after Promazine?

Talk to you later about life choices, got a wave going on so would probably land you in an oil rig job.

Hope you are feeling OK

 

Sass

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Witsend81

Hello Sass.  I'm having a bit of a wobble.  It's the work thing.  I'm really really dreading going back on Monday...I just don't want to go back, ever, but I have to at some point.  I fear the longer I leave it, the more I'll dread it.  Nobody has been covering me and the department is a mess.  I'd just never go back if that were an option (I've worked there for too long, I should have left years ago). 

 

I think you are right about the promazine...sooner I'm off it the better, which will be next Thursday if I'm on schedule.

 

Sorry to hear that you are in a wave ☹, hope it doesn't last too long.   

 

Wend

 

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Sassenach

Wend

 

You are walking into entirely the wrong situation.

You can't avoid it eventually but wait until you entirely off the Promazine for the sake of your health.

I'm guessing you work for a large company where you feel like a statistic.

I have tried to not ask too much of you but please think about this.

Got to go.

 

Sass

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Witsend81

It is a large company...and you are probably right, I need to seriosly think about postponing my return.  Maybe because I'm having a wobble, I'm blowing things up well out of proportion and getting all riled up as well 🙄, another reason for staying off a little longer...

 

Here is my diary for Monday 15 July,  no nagging required:

 

Slept well, awoke feeling more relaxed

7.30am 50mg sertraline 

9am Felt ok

10.30am Exercise class (light weight lifting)

11.30am Felt good 

12pm 10mg promazine 

2pm  Tired and spaced out

5pm Dread wave

8pm 20mg promazine 

9pm Tired, migraine starting

10pm Bed 

 

I've now been on 50mg sertraline for a month.  I feel like I'm stabilising, but still feel quite depressed, like a high functioning depression; I can get on with stuff and put the face on but the pain's still there.  

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Sassenach

Hi Wend

 

14 hours ago, Witsend81 said:

Maybe because I'm having a wobble, I'm blowing things up well out of proportion and getting all riled up as well

 

Are you feeling unprovoked and sudden anger?

 

Sass

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Witsend81

Hello Sass.  Not so much rage, but thinking negatively about situations and coming to bad conclusions; this leads to me feeling worse...I'm undergoing CBT counselling at the moment, so I know how I should be dealing with these thoughts but easier said than done sometimes. 

 

It does seem as though these thought spirals are triggered by waves of dread and shame that wash over me, and it's like my mind has to give those feelings a narrative.  They go as quick as they come and then I'm ok again.

 

Has your wave passed?

 

Wend

 

 

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Sassenach

Hi Wend.

 

Feel free to decline to answer

2 hours ago, Witsend81 said:

waves of dread and shame

Did you have these before W/D?

Are they based on occurances from your past and or present ( no details please )

Are they why you were prescribed A/Ds in the first place.

Does your CBT counsellor know you are experiencing withdrawal?

CBT can be a great alternative to meds but does rely on our brains functioning well, which of course they not in W/D.

 

Most of us feel better in the evening even after a bad day but you are tired most days at this time.

It does seem to be after Promazine so hopefully should be over shortly.

 

Sass

 

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Witsend81
1 hour ago, Sassenach said:

Did you have these before W/D?

 

No, just since withdrawal.  ADs were prescribed for classical anxiety and depression.  Never did have panic attacks or really intense and unexpected "waves" before withdrawal.

 

2 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Are they based on occurances from your past and or present

 

The waters are muddied here, some life event did happen just before I withdrew.

 

2 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Does your CBT counsellor know you are experiencing withdrawal?

 

I've explained.  I don't think she understands the impact withdrawal can have on people.  Most don't, the awareness isn't out there.  

 

I'm going to post two days tomorrow, if that's ok.

 

Have a nice evening 

 

Wend

 

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Sassenach

Hi

 

Sounds like tough day.

Thought before bed, assumimg you get it tonight.

When you have your first true window, you will see and feel a part of yourself you had forgotten existed, in a very good way.

First and last time🤗

Night

 

 

Sass

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Sassenach

Good morning Wend

Are you feeling any better this morning.

Seems like you had a tough day yesterday.

If you want to discuss some of the issues and would prefer to speak to a female moderator

Please ask.

What are your plans for today?

SAS

 

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Witsend81

Hello SAS

 

Yes, it has been tough...hopefully today will be better!

I'm planning on yoga and I've got the CBT this afternoon.

Then tomorrow I'm going to get my hair done, going into town with my mum and eating out, so that will be nice.

 

Thank you for all your support Sass, you are a true gent!

 

Notes to follow...

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Sassenach

Will send you a link regarding the royal college of psychiatrists u-turn might be worth printing off and giving to your CBT counsellor.

The worst they can do is put it in the bin but they are all going to have to learn shortly.  

Entirely up to you whether you want to do it it but I am seeing my GP this morning and he is certainly going to get a copy.

Sass

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Witsend81

Thanks Sass.  It's about time they started helping people by providing the necessary means to taper slowly as well.  Maybe by the time I stabalise and decide to get off again...

 

 

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Witsend81

Tues 16 July 

1am Bad headache.  500mg paracetamol 

7am 50mg sertraline 

8am Negative thoughts/ruminating

10am  Went for walk.  Felt ok.

12pm 5mg promazine 

2pm Negative thoughts/ruminating 

4pm Tired/irritable 

6pm Had a cry

7pm Felt ok

8pm 20mg promazine 

9pm  Felt better

10pm Bed

 

Wed 17 July

Slept ok

7am Awoke feeling calmer today

7.30am 50mg sertraline 

8.30am Anxiety starts up 4/10

10am Swimming 

11am Felt ok

1pm Dread/anxiety wave/negative thoughts 

1.30pm 5mg promazine 

3pm  Negative thoughts/rumination

6pm Felt better

8pm 20mg promazine 

9pm Tired

10pm Bed

 

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Sassenach

Hi Wend

 

How are you feeling today?

How did CBT go ?

Down to one third Promazine I assume, congrats.

 

Sass

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Witsend81

Hello 🙂

 

So-so today thanks.

 

CBT was cancelled, was relieved. 

 

Took the car to be valeted instead, felt like I was driving a rubbish bin around!

They left a really strong air freshener in, couldn't stand the smell, threw it in the bin, it gave me a headache!

 

Just night time promazine to go 🙂

 

Did your doc take any notice of the new guidelines?

 

Wend

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Sassenach

Hi Wend

 

23 hours ago, Witsend81 said:

Took the car to be valeted instead, felt like I was driving a rubbish bin around!

You must be posh, I have to clean my own🤣

Surprisingly the doc did take notice.

Handed him Royal Psych. thing in a sealed envelope, told him what was inside and if he wasn't interest he could bin it when I left ( could have chucked it in your car

I s'pose)

He opened it, read in full and admitted he was not aware.

I pointed out that this mess was not going away and any GP who gets ahead of the curve is going to be a leader on the subject.

We will see.

As the Promazine dose reduces listen to your body and act accordingly.

How are you today?

 

Sass

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