Witsend: desperate for advice

[Witsend81]

39 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

You must be posh, I have to clean my own🤣

 

Ha ha, I don't usually clean it or have it cleaned full stop.  Thought I'd treat myself, definitely not posh 😂

 

1 hour ago, Sassenach said:

He opened it, read in full and admitted he was not aware.

 

That's great, hopefully his awareness could potentially save somebody else from ending up in AD withdrawal hell.  Hopefully he'll alert his colleagues. 

 

When I told the GP (a different one to who I see now) I wanted to come off citalopram, he advised me to take one 10mg tablet every couple of days for a few weeks and then stop!  He didn't renew my prescription as the expectation was I would be off them within a month.  I'm going to send him a letter and enclose the Royal Psych info.

 

54 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

How are you today?

 

 

I've had a good day, went out for lunch and got my hair sorted out, and cleaned the house from top to bottom.  Think a chill out day is in order tomorrow...

 

No dread waves today 👍

 

Wend

[Sassenach]

2 minutes ago, Witsend81 said:

I'm going to send him a letter and enclose the Royal Psych info.

Good idea

 

You are doing great.

Have a good weekend.

Quick nag and i'm off

 

Byeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

Sass

[Sassenach]

Good morning Wend

Hope you have a good chill

Certainly cold enough up here and rainy.

SAS

[Witsend81]

Hi Sass 

 

I've had a chill, sort of, if you discount the food shopping and odd jobs here and there.

 

Weather is rubbish here as well...but next week is forecast ☀️🌞☀️.

 

Here are my notes...

[Witsend81]

Thurs 18 July

Awoke 4am, went back eventually.  Vivid dreams.

7.30am 50mg sertraline 

9am Felt ok

9.30am Exercise bike and yoga session

11am Felt good

2pm Tired

4pm Headache, paracetamol 500mg

6pm Spaced out and empty

8pm 20mg promazine

9pm Felt ok, tired

10.30pm Bed

 

Friday 19th July

Awoke 4.30am.  Dozed off after a while.

7.30am 50mg sertraline 

8pm 20mg promazine

Felt ok most of the day

[Witsend81]

I've bought some magnesium tablets and omega 3 tablets.  Should I start taking one tonight with my dinner?  

 

Adios from 🌧 Manchester 

 

Wend

[Gridley]

3 minutes ago, Witsend81 said:

've bought some magnesium tablets and omega 3 tablets.  Should I start taking one tonight with my dinner?  

 

 

Start out with just one (whichever you choose) at a low dose and see how it goes.  If all goes well, after a few days you can start taking the other.

[Sassenach]

Hi Wend

 

Notes look good exercising and tiring yourself naturally.

My only slight concern are the headaches.

Are you prone to them or is this only happening recently?

As for the supplements, Gridley got me through the first few weeks on here and since, go with his advice.

Have a great evening.

 

Sass

[Witsend81]

2 hours ago, Gridley said:

Start out with just one (whichever you choose) at a low dose and see how it goes.  If all goes well, after a few days you can start taking the other.

 

Thank you, I will try magnesium, just a small dose.

 

2 hours ago, Sassenach said:

My only slight concern are the headaches.

Are you prone to them or is this only happening recently?

 

I do get headaches now and again.  At least one migraine a month.  Hmmm, I'll keep an eye on them.  Hopefully they'll settle.

 

Have a lovely evening, 

 

Wend

 

 

[Sassenach]

Good morning Wend

Hopefully the last week of promazine.

How are you feeling

SAS

[Sassenach]

Could not resist nag nag

[Witsend81]

Good morning sassenag!

 

I'm ok.  I'm going back to work today...reduced hours.

 

I'll let you know how I get on...

 

Wend

[Sassenach]

Good evening Wend.

 

The one day I don't contact you and you make a big decision

How did the day go and how are you feeling

10 hours ago, Witsend81 said:

Good morning sassenag!

Oh you are feeling ok. I like that, very good.

Will you be on 10mgs Promazine from tomorrow?

Be good and if you can't be carefull.

 

Sass

[Witsend81]

Hello Sass

 

2 hours ago, Sassenach said:

How did the day go and how are you feeling

 

It actually went ok!  Better than expected.  There is a lot of work to be done, but I took it all in my stride.  And it was nice to see everybody again.

 

Tired now though.

 

2 hours ago, Sassenach said:

 Will you be on 10mgs Promazine from tomorrow?

 

Tonight - not noticed any worrying withdrawals yet...🤞

 

Do I need to post notes still?  I'm still keeping them but I'm not particularly concerned about anything at the moment.

 

Have a good evening 🙂

 

[Sassenach]

Hi Wend

 

It's great that you enjoyed work.

You had me kind of worried last week.

What a difference a few days make.

Was today ok?

Re. diaries. I would be grateful if you would. They are like insurance, if you got it you will never need it.

However equally important, another doctor will put someone else in the same position, your thread will show it can be done.

Not everyone will be as strong and determined as you but proof of success always helps.

Besides gives me time to think of some smarta**e comment before you wave goodbye, at least for now😢

 

Sass

[Witsend81]

Good evening Sass, it's baking down here!  What a week to decide to go back in work 😖.  Today was also also went well.

 

Ok, I'll keep posting the diary at least until I'm off the promazine.  And I won't say goodbye, not forever!  

 

Hope you're enjoying the sun 😎

 

Sat 20 July

Awoke a few times during the night, went back to sleep.  Twitches.

8am 50mg sertraline 

9am Felt ok

10.30am Yoga

11.30am Felt ok

2pm Felt a bit down and empty 

4pm Felt ok

8pm 15mg promazine 

9pm Felt ok

10.30pm Bed 

 

Sun 21 July

Slept ok.  Woke up had a cry.

7 am 50mg sertraline 

8.30am Felt better

12pm Negative thinking, worrying about going back in work.

8pm 15mg promazine 

9pm Felt ok

10.30pm Bed

 

Mon 22 July

Awoke a few times in the night, went back to sleep.

7am 50mg sertraline

8am Felt nervous about returning to work, anxiety 3/10

10am  In work, settled down, felt ok

2pm  Felt ok, but spaced out, tired

6pm Felt ok, but spaced out, tired

8pm 10mg promazine 

10pm Bed

 

Wend

 

[Sassenach]

Thank you.

Don't overdo it.

You are still recovering.

Sleep well.

Sass

[Sassenach]

Hi Wend

 

Sassenag calling.

Just checking in.

How are you doing?

 

Sass

[Witsend81]

Good evening Sassenag 

 

I'm getting there, some lows but nothing too bad.  Last 5mg of promazine tonight 😁🤞

 

I bet you've been wearing your kilt today 🌞🌡🍦

 

Wend

[Sassenach]

Kilts too warm in this heat even with traditional undergarments??????????????????🤣

Glad you are coping, will be nagging you sunday but if all ok I will sass off.

Have a good evening.

 

Sassenach

[Witsend81]

Good morning Sassenach

 

No need to nag, I'm here 😇

 

On 7/25/2019 at 5:58 PM, Sassenach said:

Kilts too warm in this heat even with traditional undergarments??????????????????

 

It's the heat, it's melted what's left of my brain 😅

 

Here's my diary...I'm going to continue it but this will be the last time I post them unless I hit problems...

[Witsend81]

Tues 23 July

Slept ok, woke once, got back to sleep

7am 50mg sertraline

9am Felt ok

8pm 10mg promazine 

10pm Bed

 

Wed 24 July 

Poor sleep

7am 50mg sertraline 

9.30am Exercise class

2pm Tired, tried to nap, couldn't (cortisol spikes)

8pm 5mg promazine 

10pm Bed 

 

Thurs 25 July

Awoke twice in the night

7am 50mg sertraline 

Felt ok mood wise

5pm Exhausted

8pm 5mg promazine 

10pm Bed 

 

Fri 26th July 

Awoke a few times in the night 

7am 50mg sertraline

Felt tired, emotional and withdrawn most of the day

9pm Bed

 

Sat 27 July 

Awoke once in night.  Awoke with cortisol spike

7am 50mg sertraline 

11am Felt tired, depressed and withdrawn

Went out for the day, mood improved

6pm Very tired, lethargic but ok mood wise

10pm Bed

 

[Sassenach]

Thanks Wend

 

You seem to be ok but tiring quickly.

All to be expected as it is still only 6 weeks since your Sertraline switch, plus Promazine taper.

It may take a few weeks for your CNS to catch up, so please be careful.

You have been great throughout and you know we are here if you need us.

Good luck

 

Sass

[manymoretodays]

Hi Witsend81,

Sassenach has been watching over you so nicely!

Oh, and so glad that your sleep is doing okay, so far.....so good.

Your notes are great!  You might keep doing the notes, as you have got the hang of that.  And keep posting for the next week or so.  They do help to see patterns and all and can be so useful to us.  Hopefully useful to you as well.

And then you could post separately, on anything you might want to post.

I always felt better writing here, when I was having a hard time coping.  Sometimes just to stay connected.  Sometimes, even to help shift my perception......through writing.  A lot of us journal, off line/off site too.  As a coping tool.

Journaling/Writing Therapy

^ more ideas

 

And this looks really good so far.  Even back to work with just 3/10 anxiety!  Hoping that 10 is the highest level then, of anxiety.

 

Keep us all updated Witsend.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

[Witsend81]

On 7/28/2019 at 5:32 PM, Sassenach said:

Thanks Wend

 

You seem to be ok but tiring quickly.

All to be expected as it is still only 6 weeks since your Sertraline switch, plus Promazine taper.

It may take a few weeks for your CNS to catch up, so please be careful.

You have been great throughout and you know we are here if you need us.

Good luck

 

Sass

 

Your not kidding, I've been exhausted, but I've got two weeks off soon so hopefully I'll have a good rest.

 

Thank you for all your help Sass, it has made all the difference, I don't feel so alone in what I'm going through 🤗

 

I'll keep you all posted on how I'm getting on x

[Sassenach]

Hi Wend.

 

How are you doing?

 

Sass

[Witsend81]

Hi Sass

 

I'm ok.  I've been very tired and I'm still not sleeping right through the night, but otherwise coping.  So I think I've more or less stabalised.  Now looking forward to things and making plans for holidays etc so can't be bad.  I've not changed any medication and I'm avoiding alcohol and caffeine (alcohol at least for the next couple of months), exercising regularly, seeing friends, resting when I can etc...I still get down but not so badly or as often, so things are looking good 😊

 

I hope you are well 

 

Wend

[Sassenach]

Good to hear Wend.

You are doing all the right things ( not that I would expect any other of you ).

Enjoy your hols.

 

Sass

[Sassenach]

Hi Wend.

 

How are you doing?

On hols sunning yourself?😎

 

Sass

[Witsend81]

Hi Sass.

 

Not quite yet, one more day to go...

 

Been feeling ok, ups and downs.  Like today, was fine, but then had to visit occupational health at work, had to go over what happened when I got ill.  Just brought it all back and later on got upset.  I'm quite traumatised about what happened.  

 

Still waking up every night, but I do get just about enough sleep.

 

The worst thing though, with the sertraline, I'm finding it's really hard to be spontaneous in conversation, my mind keeps blanking, I find it difficult to absorb what people are saying.  I rarely laugh or cry spontaneously.  I suppose that's one of the main reasons why I wanted off ADs in the first place.  

 

That said, I'm glad I'm not in hell like I was a couple of months ago.

 

So it's all okay at the moment.  

 

So glad you asked, it's very lonely, not many people really understand what we are going through do they?   

 

Hope you are ok.  Wend

[Sassenach]

Good morning Wend.

 

On 8/15/2019 at 9:44 PM, Witsend81 said:

The worst thing though, with the sertraline, I'm finding it's really hard to be spontaneous in conversation, my mind keeps blanking, I find it difficult to absorb what people are saying.  I rarely laugh or cry spontaneously.

 

Unfortunately all part of A/Ds and W/D.

It is only two months since your Sertraline switch and the Promazine complication.

Your CNS is still sensitised and it will still be several months before it fully stabilises.

During that time you should continue to improve.

It is true A/Ds can blunt our emotions but 16 weeks in I realised  I was laughing at " would I lie to you ", had been finding it funny but not laughing before.

You will get there and eventually you may want to taper.

Just because you failed the previous time does not mean you will do so again.

You have learnt a lot, and are almost certainly stronger after such a bruising experience.

You may have needed A/Ds in the past but you are in a better position to judge now.

You are strong, determined and do all the right things to help manage without ie, swimming and yoga.

I know you do not always feel the above but give yourself chance and try and enjoy what you have.

It can only get better.🤗

 

Sass

 

ps just realised I started this am and just got it finished now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Witsend81]

Hi Sass

Well, now I'm on leave and resting/having family time, feeling a little better.  Plus going away for a mini break with my sis coming up, a good opportunity to really kick back and relax.  

 

On 8/18/2019 at 5:23 PM, Sassenach said:

It can only get better.🤗

 

Here's to that!  

 

Wend 

[Witsend81]

Hi Sass

 

I'm ok.  Had some really rough weeks but coping.  Had some really good days also.  

 

I'm not back to my old self though, what ever that was - I'm not sure anymore.  Trying just to get on with things, keep treading water. 

 

At my review the GP tried to persuade me to dose increase the sertraline.  I refused, I'm absolutely too terrified to do so.  They are clueless. 

 

As far as side effects go, still mild burning, tingling sensations in my limbs, a few crying spells here and there, a feeling of emptiness and detachment that comes and goes, tiredness and now constant ravenous hunger, hair loss. On the plus side, I'm now mostly sleeping full nights every night, although waking early, 5.30am.  

 

I've been thinking about what happened a lot, it's left me feeling quite traumatised, and isolated, because no body apart from on here understands what I've been through/going through.  The most annoying thing is that people just do not accept this is a drug problem, or a problem made 100x worse by drugs; people advising me to increase the dose, and when I mention side effects, it's "that's stress" or "that's the illness".  They haven't got a clue.

 

I'm waffling now, I know.  

 

I want to thank you again for all the support you have given me, you really helped me when I was in crisis, in what has been the darkest period of my lifetime.  I'm not out of the woods yet by any stretch...but I'm heading in the right direction, in large part from finding this site and the support I've found here.

 

Best wishes

 

Wend

[Sassenach]

Hi Wend

 

I am sure you may not see things this way.

It is only three months since your crash.

Then Citalopram.

Bit of diazepam for seasoning.

Onto Sertraline and then promazine.

A wild ride for anyone's CNS.

On 9/15/2019 at 8:21 PM, Witsend81 said:

Had some really good days also.

These will slowly become more frequent and longer lasting and as your baseline improves the old you will peek out.

 

On 9/15/2019 at 8:21 PM, Witsend81 said:

The most annoying thing is that people just do not accept this is a drug problem

That is now beginning to change, it may take years but it is happening.

 

On 9/15/2019 at 8:21 PM, Witsend81 said:

hair loss.

Have you had this checked out?

On 9/15/2019 at 8:21 PM, Witsend81 said:

At my review the GP tried to persuade me to dose increase the sertraline.  I refused, I'm absolutely too terrified to do so.  They are clueless. 

You had the courage of your convictions from the start, I am really glad you still have.

It never feels like it to the person involved but there is lot of progress in your posts.

 

On 9/15/2019 at 8:21 PM, Witsend81 said:

I'm waffling now, I know.

No, you never did.

You need to vent these feelings from time to time and if noone else understands, we do on here.

 

It is great to hear and see you are progressing, it is always slowly but you will get there.

You are still young and can have a good life ahead.

Important stuff now.

How is your son and Sally?

 

Keep in touch.

 

Sass

 

[Witsend81]

Aww Sass 🤗

 

My son is doing really well.  Sally is slowing down a bit, but she's happy and living a good life.

 

I'll keep you posted.

 

Wend x

[sunnysideup69]

Hi Witsend, I see you are 4 months or so into switching from Citalopram, I have also switched from that drug to Venlafaxine. Wondering how you're doing after switching? I feel that the withdrawals for me after 9 weeks off are still going on, but maybe a tiny bit less.

Hope you're well.