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MissyE

MissyE: tapering from venlafaxine/Effexor

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MissyE

Hiya

I am brand new to the site and am struggling to stay focussed and positive as l taper off venlafaxine. I have been on various psych meds for over 10 years and realise they no longer work for me/make my life worse. 

I've recently had to quit my job of 10 years and find simply adulting, never mind parenting overwhelming.  My 2 little boys suffer because of my mental health and mood swings from over anxiousness to apathy, punctuated with inappropriate crying and irritation. I have no joy in my life.  I am terrified about the impact on my boys and husband.

Please will someone point me in the direction of success stories or share yours with me.  How do other families cope?

I'm frightened and lonely. I've never spoken with anyone who understands what I'm going through.

I'm on week 10 of 300mg taper 5-10% at 6-10 week intervals.  Current dose 262.5mg.

Namaste, MissyE

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Gridley
Posted (edited)

Hello, MissE, and welcome to SA.  I'm glad you found your way here.  Yes, it is possible to taper off Venlafaxine/Effexor.  Here is a success story that shows it can be done:

Ladywingnut Successful withdrawal from effexor/venlafaxine ..

It's very good that you're tapering slowly.  We recommend tapering no faster than 10% of current dose every four weeks, so you're well within our guidelines.

 

 

 
This link is specifically about tapering Venlafaxine.
 
 
The symptoms you are experiencing are typical withdrawal symptoms.
 
 
 
When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  
 
These explain it really well:

 

 

   On 8/30/2011 at 2:28 PM,  Rhiannon said: 
When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.
 
You are not alone in facing difficulties in parenting and family relationships during withdrawal.  You'll find many stories in our "Relationships and social life" thread in the topic page of this site (first page of the site).  Also see:
 
 
We highly recommend practicing non-drug coping skills to help deal with withdrawal during your taper.  Please take a look at the topics in the following link to see which appeal to you.
 
 
We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

 

 

Please research all supplements first and only add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.
 
This is your Introduction topic, where you can post updates, ask questions and connect with other members.  Again, I'm glad you fund your way here.  You'll find many sympathetic moderators and members.
 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

Edited by Gridley

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MissyE

Thank you Gridley for your warm welcome and information.  I've never used a site like this before and am grateful to all the brave people who have shared their stories. 

Physical symptoms l have that l can't find on here is acne and boil type spots/rash that appear on my face: mainly forehead; chest, shoulders and back. I'm even more self conscious with it.  Also profuse sweating when l exercise.  Dripping from my face/head and extreme sensitivity to temperatures.  Any tips how to manage these? 

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MissyE

Correction l have been reading this site a little while but l haven't joined one like this (not haven't used a site like this l before).  I signed up to inner compass but it doesn't seem to work like this so l have had no contact from anyone on there.

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Altostrata

Hello, Missy.

 

It looks like you had a lot of drug changes from early 2018. What was going on?

 

Did you start 300mg venlafaxine in October 2018?

 

Are you taking any other drugs now? What times of day do you take your drugs? Are your symptoms worse at any particular times of day?

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MissyE

Hi Altostrata

Thank you for your reply.

I started ven 2011 37.5mg Aug til December stopped 75mg.

Restarted ven Feb 2012 stepped up to 150mg; titrated to fluoxetine 40mg for pregnancy; titrated back to venlafaxine 150mg March 2014.

2015 titrated to fluoxetine for second pregnancy, suicidal ideation so titrated back to ven Jan stepping up to 300mg which l was on til 2018.

The changes with the other meds were because the venlafaxine no longer worked (numb, excess tiredness/sleeping, increasing anxiety) and my childhood trauma was triggered by work causing further anxiety. I had been off sick for a year so was desperate not to have further time off.  I ended up having to leave work anyway (10 year career) when my last tapering attempt caused me to become too ill.  I was removing 1 tablet per week (12 tablets in 150mg) which l now realise was too fast, but psych pharmacist didn't approve and convinced me to follow Nice guidance about halfway through, speeding the process up further.

I currently take 2 x 150mg capsules in the morning (1 with 3 tablets removed) 262.6mg; with one omega 3 (660mg eha + dpa) ashwagandha 300mg (which I'm phasing out), cetirizine (hayfever) and a multivitamin. At lunch l have my second omega 3.  I have about a week left on ashwagandha I feel no difference from it.

I have horrible morning anxiety on waking and have to force myself out of bed, but it isn't as bad as after my last failed taper.  My GP has spoken with at pharmacist at my request, so I'm soon moving to 150mg XR with 37.5mg IR in the morning and 75mg IR in the evening.  The move to IR is to access smaller doses. I know to only change one thing at once, so this will be the next change;(then perhaps omega 3, then magnesium.  I may also lose the multivitamin with your advice/support)

My other symptoms are acne type spots on my forehead, jaw, shoulders, chest and back; some like boils.  Painful/itchy at times. Overwhelm, inability to perform usual tasks, irritability, extreme negative thoughts, profuse sweating on exertion, hyper sensitivity to temperature changes, extreme emotional reactions.

This is a hard, lonely process (understatement) I have 2 little boys and a husband that need me. Any good advice gratefully received.

 

 

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MissyE

Other symptoms (not exhaustive) short term memory loss, dry mouth, loose stools, no appetite, but hungry when l eat and craving sugary foods, loss of hope, no joy, crying spells, feeling helpless....

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Benzhelp

Hi MissyE, 

 

Welcome to SA. I’m so glad you found us. This is great site with wonderful people. The Adminstrators/Moderators especially are amazing.

 

Thanks for the update. I’m so sorry you are suffering. You have been through a lot. I hope you find peace <3

All of your symptoms sound like normal drug side effects and withdrawal effects. These symptoms do heal in time and self-care helps a lot to support this process.

There are many tips in the self-care section with threads for each symptom. 

 

Please be gentle with yourself, since this process can be rough. Maybe do things you enjoy that is healthy for you? Please keep us posted on your progress.

 

Wishing you the best of luck on your Tapering journey. Healing, Blessings, and Love <3 Take gentle care <3

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MissyE

Thank you.  I'm grateful for your kind words and understanding.

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MissyE
Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, MissyE said:

I started taking Omega 3 (1000mg with 660mg epa + dpa) and have gradually worked up to 3 per day (3000mg with 1980mg epa + dpa) plus 400iu vitamin E.  I'm aiming to reach 3000mg epa + dpa.  I am following SA advice.  Thank you.

 

Initially l didn't feel anything, but now l notice feeling calmer and more hopeful since increasing my dose and added in vitamin E.  I still have a long, long way to go, but the morning terror and frozen dread has reduced to feeling anxious combined with a lack of motivation.  I'm also managing much better at keeping up with my other non-drug healing techniques.

 

I have now found some 750mg epa + dpa in 1000mg omega 3 capsules, which l aim to move over to.  I'm in the UK and use simply supplements online.  Unfortunately their vitamin E isn't natural so l get that elsewhere. 

 

Do you recommend spreading the capsules throughout the day or taking all at once?  Or is it personal tolerance?

I currently have one in the morning with my venlafaxine and vit E; one at lunch; and one at evening meal with my 2nd dose of ven.

 

Hope today is going ok. 

Love, peace, namaste

MissyE

 

 

I posted about Omega 3 on that feed yesterday, but am not sure whether l needed to post it here.

Anyway since then l woke up with the morning terror and dread that makes me freeze. I had a hard day yesterday but talked it through with my husband.  I haven't had this horrific symptom for a couple of weeks so I'm confused and upset.  Is it part of a wave?

Would changing the times of Omega 3 help eg taking them all at once rather than spacing out? I'm due to taper down 5% a week on Monday.  Please help me.

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added quote from omega 3 topic

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MissyE

I realised l had forgotten to take my meds last night!!!! This is the first time l have realised exactly why l had the horrific morning cortisol spike.  I haven't forgotten my meds for a long time.  Weird that l forgot because I'm (trying hard not to be) obsessed, since l started this taper.

Thankfully I'm feeling much more stable again now. 

I simply took my usual morning dose and doubled the Omega 3.  

 

Query?

I have put questions on here a couple of times but they don't seem to have been answered.  Do I need to do something else for feedback.  I'm confused about the process and was lucky this morning l managed to work out what was wrong before l went further down the black hole.  

 

Thanks, Missy x

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Gridley
15 hours ago, MissyE said:

I haven't had this horrific symptom for a couple of weeks so I'm confused and upset.  Is it part of a wave?



 

There are going to be ups and downs throughout the day and throughout the whole WD process.  

15 hours ago, MissyE said:

Would changing the times of Omega 3 help eg taking them all at once rather than spacing out? I'm due to taper down 5% a week on Monday.  Please help me.

 

I'd recommend spacing them throughout the day.  Take the vitamin E with your morning dose.

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MissyE

Thank you Gridley, l will do. 

How much do you take?

How are you feeling today?

I'm feeling grateful that l found this site, that l am not the only one in withdrawal (although my GP seems to think l am) and to Caspar for providing the evidence l needed to get my GP on board with prescribing liquid when l need it.

Namaste.

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MissyE

Good morning campers. 

I am feeling excited today and more positive than l have for a while.  I had a late night though and have been awake since 5am snoozing on and off.

I have made the effort this week to do exercise every day and eat lots of fruit and veg. Also I'm due to taper in a week.  I got my 6 - 10 week idea from speaking to a lady at Bristol Tranquilisor Project.  (I taper 5% because l can't tolerate 10% suggested by both SA and BTP).  I phoned in desperation, l was really struggling then and needed to speak to someone who understands; she suggested adding low dose mirtazipine back in to help.  Any thoughts on this?

I'm dead against this; l even was then when l felt ****. 

 

Any thoughts?

 

Although I'm feeling better today l still aren't motivated to get up, get ready do housework etc... But l am looking forward to being with my little family. Often, I'm ashamed to admit I just can't be bothered with them and have no patience.  Being honest I'm not naturally patient, but they can really irritate me (especially my husband) and that makes me feel incredibly guilty.  They are brilliant.  My boys are 6 and 2 years 9 months and are full of fun and mischief.  My husband is a good man who loves me as I am and is also full of fun and mischief.  I feel so much love for all 3 of them. 

 

Today is a good enough day so far.  I know this is subject to change.  My husband has just woken up and I'm starting to feel irritated...I hope today is manageable for us all; universe, l would love a bit of joy and please help with my patience.

Love, peace, namaste

Missy x

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Gridley
On 7/5/2019 at 12:25 AM, MissyE said:

 

How much do you take?

How are you feeling today?

 

I take three Omega capsules throughout the day, which amounts to EPA 1,050mg and DHA 150mg.

 

I'm feeling just fair today, a combination of what I think is a sinus infection (which, like any illness, can ramp up WD symptoms), combined with getting down to a low dose of Lexapro (2.4mg from an original 20mg).  I'm going to hold until I'm well and can assess whether to hold longer or resume my taper.  Thanks for asking.

 

I'm glad you're having a good day.  Lack of motivation is very common in WD.

 

Regarding the Mirtazapine, we are a site for going off drugs, and we really can't make a recommendation about going on an additional drug.  

 

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MissyE
15 hours ago, Gridley said:

 

I take three Omega capsules throughout the day, which amounts to EPA 1,050mg and DHA 150mg.

So your ratio is 7:1.

I'm taking EPA:DHA ratio in mg 1320:880 in 4 capsules. 

3:2 Is that ratio ok?  (I just learned how to quote a bit of your text.  Feeling a bit proud.)

 

Glad yesterday was fair for you and you can identity where you are by listening to your body.  Yes l would hold too, till you're feeling stronger again.  You're doing great.  

 

My day turned out gorgeous.  I helped out on the coconut shy at the school fair.  My eldest son and l even won coconuts! I need to remember to enjoy this window as much as l can and keep going with my positive plan.

 

I don't want to add more drugs in either and am glad you reminded me of the SA ethos.  My CNS doesn't need any more of the crap.

 

Ok better go, I'm running a 10k race today.  Signed up last time l felt good.  I got this.

 

Peace, love, namaste, Missy x

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Gridley
9 hours ago, MissyE said:

 

I'm taking EPA:DHA ratio in mg 1320:880 in 4 capsules. 

3:2 Is that ratio ok?  (I just learned how to quote a bit of your text.  Feeling a bit proud.)

 

I was proud of myself when I figured out how to how to quote text too.  Congratulations!  And congratulations on your run.

 

I don't really know about EPA:DHA ratios.  I was recommended the brand I take (OmegaBrite) twenty years ago and since it agrees with me, I've never changed.

 

Enjoy your window!

 

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manymoretodays

Hi MissyE,

I use Barlean's brand myself Missy.  And it's pretty close to what you've got. 

My EPA/DHA ratio is 360/280( per 2 capsules)  and I take 6 a day now.

I too, was concerned with the higher EPA ratio's being too much for me.  Too activating, perhaps.

I had another brand with a much higher ratio and ditched it, when I was in more acute discontinuation syndrome.  Hard to say what was what, at that time.  I was activated enough though.....so chose to tread more cautiously. 

I did read somewhere that sometimes the higher EPA could be too much for some(I still don't have the reference for that though).

 

I slowly worked on up to 2040 mg of Omega 3's per/day and that's where I stay at now.

 

Coconuts and races!  May the force continue to be with you.  It sounds like you are doing well.  Summertime in the UK as well as the USA now.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

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MissyE

Good morning MMT & Gridley

Yes I'm loving my window.  It's so good to simply want to be alive and engaged with my family. 

 

Exercise is key for me.  I'm blessed my husband supported me back into running and l found a brilliant supportive gym with childcare.

 

Omega 3 is definitely helping too.  Thanks for your advice and your kindness, being pleased for my window.  May we all have many more windows than waves. 

 

I'm due to taper down to 250mg ven on Monday.  I'm going to keep my omega 3 as is until I'm used to the new ven dose then l may add in another. 

In my window's I have to be mindful not to overcommit, overspend, over share, overindulge.... I'm reigning myself in this time. 

 

Last time l went bonkers on Victoria Secret's Sport Sport online.  Insomnia: ordering in the wee small hours.  6 massive boxes.  Kept loads of things, but had to return even more, to USA from UK, dollars to pounds, very confusing and stressful; had to pay for insurance, post office didn't know how to process return...  I also arranged a huge night out with mummy friends and acquaintances. 

 

Enter wave Missy, she won't wear half the new clothes... "they showcase my hideous spots and mum body.  Who do I think l am? I'm not twenty any more, I've had 2 babies!"

 

Had to forced myself out on night out and another mum took over with logistics.  Lesson learned this time.  Got rid of the clothes that don't suit me, donation to charity and l may agree to a night out, organised by someone else, if l feel safe with them.  Breathe.

 

Love, peace, sparkles; namaste

Missy x

 

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MissyE

Today I'm tapering down 5% to 250mg.  Feel ok so fingers crossed l stay that way. x

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MissyE

Shocker, l got effexor this time rather than vensir, so I have the beastly little beads. Wtf, they bounce everywhere!  I bought scales, but they only go to 0.09g (I got mixed up with g and mg when placing the online order) so I'm not managing to reduce the full 0.0125g.  It's certainly not an exact science.  I have a few 12.5mg mini tablets left so on alternating days l take 2 of them in the morning instead of the 37.5mg. 

Feel ok so far mood wise. Physically knackered, mouth ulcers,  boils and spots on face, jaw and neck, agitation, no patience.

Any more tips with managing the pesky beads?

Love, peace, sparkles; namaste Missy x

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Gridley
15 minutes ago, MissyE said:

I have a few 12.5mg mini tablets left so on alternating days l take 2 of them in the morning instead of the 37.5mg. 

If I'm understanding you correctly, on alternating days you're taking 25mg instead of 37.5mg.  It's important that you take the same dosage every day.  Alternating doses is destabilizing.  Your brain and central nervous system crave consistency.

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MissyE

Thanks Gridley,

 

I didn't explain myself properly.

l either take 37.5mg plus approx 140mg (capsule with approx 10mg beads removed) = approx 177.5mg AM

or

25mg (2x12.5mg tablets) plus 150mg = 175mg AM

 

I continue to take 75mg each PM.

 

Well, l had my last mini tablets today so it will be the beads going forward til l get a med review.

 

Hope this makes more sense. 

 

You're right, l understand my poor brain needs consistency.  I struggle weighing them bloody beads though.  It's like they're alive and my scale isn't as accurate as l hoped.  I feel ok in myself so far.  Usually l get bad symptoms pretty quickly if I've done too much.  Fingers crossed. x

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Gridley
8 minutes ago, MissyE said:

Hope this makes more sense. 

Thanks for clarifying, Missy.  I'm glad you're feeling ok.

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MissyE

Hey you guys.  Want to check in.  

 

I'm in a window, so busy enjoying life as much as l can.  Dread of the next wave looms in the background.  
 
I haven't managed my taper to 250mg, because the pharmacy changed me from Vensir brand to Effexor.  Vensir has 12 mini tablets inside 159mg capsule; effexor has thousands of tiny bouncy beads.  Had to buy scales ... Persevered for 6 weeks: very challenging, stressful and inaccurate...
 
My GP clarified on my script l need Vensir going forward, so l will do my official 250mg taper this time. Started this morning.  Patience is a virtue.
 
I hope you're ok too.
 
It's bank holiday here in the UK and scorchio.  My husband is trying to fix our dodgy bathroom so I'm entertaining the sprites.  I've been doing this for the past 5 weeks: summer hols.  We're having fun, but I'm tired, ready to get back to my routine.
 
Love, peace, sparkles; namaste Lindsey.

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MissyE

Hello

 

I'm in a wave and struggling with brain fog, feeling exhausted and not wanting to be bothered with life.  It's  been coming on over the past couple of weeks. 

 

I'm trying to remember it will pass and my brain is healing and rebuilding itself. I do care about life and can function as an adult even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

 

I need to be grateful for the lovely window I've just enjoyed.  

 

This too shall pass.

 

Peace, love, sparkles. Namaste.

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Nelly

Hello MissyE

I hope you have come through your wave and that you are  feeling better. How are you getting on with your taper of VENSIR? I am tapering the same meds in capsule firm of 12 beads each and getting to the point where I need smaller doses of more beads. If I read it correctly, you managed to get this off your doctor. 
Many thanks 😊 

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MissyE

Hey Nelly

Thank you for messaging.

Withdrawal can be a very lonely place; and although l wouldn't wish this on anyone, it's reassuring to remember I'm not the only one.

 

Painfully, sadly, overwhelmingly, frustratingly.... I'm still riding out the wave.  The uncontrollable crying started yesterday.  Luckily I saw my therapist today, but I'm feeling the brain damage, physically exhausted, mentally foggy, forcing myself to do simple things.  Trying not to fall down the rabbit hole of guilt and shame about my children and husband having to live with me like this, again.

 

I swapped back to vensir (12 mini tablets which it looks like you are on now) from effexor (hundreds of tiny beads: look like white hundreds and thousands on cakes) because I can't count them or weigh them accurately.  When l need to go less than the vensir allows my doc will prescribe liquid.  

 

There are people on here who seem to manage with the tiny effexor beads, so it might be worth searching for them for more info.

 

I hope this helps and that you are feeling OK.

 

Love, peace, sparkles; namaste

Missy

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milkandmarble

Hi Missy - 

I just read through your whole thread and I relate to so much of what you are experiencing. I too have 2 young children and have been enduring months of waves and feeling horrid for what I have inflicted upon them.  Something that helped me tonight was writing a long letter to my husband explaining where I feel I am in the process, because I am so very bad at expressing myself at the moment (crying!). Just writing it down has helped, and I think I will make a practice of it for both his sanity and mine, as it helps me organize my thoughts, why I'm doing this, where I am, and that I will get better. Maybe it would help you too.

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MissyE

Thank you m&m 

I'm sorry you're in a wave too.

I've been pondering my reply to you.  I'm exhausted today, but there's so much l want to say. I really pushed myself yesterday (in a good way) and this morning I've got to rest.  My husband is taking the boys out, but when he gets back he needs my help so I need to try and show up again. I know staying in bed too long makes me feel worse.

 

When you feel at your worst how do you manage the home?

 

How are you managing with your family being away? 

 

I had the same a couple of months ago and stayed home when my family went camping.  It was a horrible decision, but better than ruining their happy memories.  I spent time with my sister and her family, but felt ashamed.  I slept at my own house alone with my cat. 

 

So ashamed: telling myself it's not my fault.  Believing myself is another story.  How can I take control of my mind when it seems intent on destroying me?  I try acceptance, but my mind is disgusted that I've turned out this way.

The inner conflict rages on.  Even when l do something positive I still feel the same self loathing and shame.

 

This too shall pass.  Please universe.

 

Love, peace, namaste

Missy x

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Erell

Hi MissyE 

 

Reading you talking about shame gave me some tears. I was so ashamed last September, I hided myself for a month.

 

But actually  : you are NOT the one who should blame herself with shame. 

Doctors, psychiatrists, pharma industry are the only ones who have To Feel ashamed.

 

Feeling ashamed would mean that you have a responsability by creating your symptoms or not doing enough To Feel better. It would mean that these symptoms that these symptoms are who you are.

But that is definitely not the case  : you are not these symptoms. They are created by the meds, but you, you are a strong woman fighting To keep getting To yourself. And you Will succeed eventually!

 

Best wishes to you!

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MissyE

Thank you Erell

Love and peace to you x

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MissyE

I'm wondering if someone can help me with how best to taper when l'm next stable.  I'll be decreasing 5% to 225mg venlafaxine from 237.5mg (137.5mg XR + 37.5mg IR AM and 75mg IR PM).  My GP suggests 150mg XR AM and 75mg IR PM.  I'm concerned this will hurt my CNS by increasing the XR again when ultimately I'll be moving to IR liquid.  Does someone have any other suggestions?

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MissyE

I'm still struggling.

Anxiety, irritability, fatigue and overwhelm, suicidal ideation but no plans.

 

My six year old has just had a melt down because I'm too poorly to do the Halloween decorations.  He's six, he doesn't understand, just thinks I'm being mean.  

 

I won't be reducing further until l feel stable. 

This is horrendous.

 

Is there anything else l can do?

Updose?  Just continue to wait it out?

 

I've been like this for about 3 weeks.  I mixed up my dosing around this time and took the 75mg IR in the morning so swapped and had the 37.5mg in the evening.  Same total daily dose and time for the extended release, but opposite times for immediate release.

This happened again yesterday. 

I'm not sure if this makes symptoms worse but l know it won't help.

I've been on 237.5mg for 6 weeks tomorrow.

I take 3000mg Omega per day.  

I'm lonely, I'm frightened.

I feel like giving up

 

Missy x

 

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Nelly
11 hours ago, MissyE said:

I'm still struggling.

Anxiety, irritability, fatigue and overwhelm, suicidal ideation but no plans.

 

My six year old has just had a melt down because I'm too poorly to do the Halloween decorations.  He's six, he doesn't understand, just thinks I'm being mean.  

 

I won't be reducing further until l feel stable. 

This is horrendous.

 

Is there anything else l can do?

Updose?  Just continue to wait it out?

 

I've been like this for about 3 weeks.  I mixed up my dosing around this time and took the 75mg IR in the morning so swapped and had the 37.5mg in the evening.  Same total daily dose and time for the extended release, but opposite times for immediate release.

This happened again yesterday. 

I'm not sure if this makes symptoms worse but l know it won't help.

I've been on 237.5mg for 6 weeks tomorrow.

I take 3000mg Omega per day.  

I'm lonely, I'm frightened.

I feel like giving up

 

Missy x

 

I read your post and thought sh..! 
It is just so horrible. I think we have to ride it out and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. I remind myself it will pass, but when, I don’t know. I hope it will pass for you soon and you feel better soon xx

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MissyE
On 10/31/2019 at 8:27 PM, Nelly said:

I read your post and thought sh..! 
It is just so horrible. I think we have to ride it out and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. I remind myself it will pass, but when, I don’t know. I hope it will pass for you soon and you feel better soon xx

Thank you Nelly.  How are you feeling?  It's reassuring that you get it. 

No-one in my life gets it. 

My husband tries his best.  

 

I'm finding it hard to believe that I'll ever feel normal for me again.  I battle not to disolve into self pity, but my world has shrunk so much due to these horrendous chemicals.  It feels like the little confidence I had managed to build has evaporated; all I want to do is sleep.  From complex PTSD in childhood, to this living hell; l feel I'll never be able to move on from my past.  The intrusive thoughts and overwhelm.  Every little thing l do takes all my energy. 

Life is precious.  We deserve to thrive. 

 

I'll never understand how fellow humans (pharmaceutical, medical, psychiatry...) are allowing us to suffer, whatever to their reason.

It's like the emperor's new clothes, with the addition of our suffering.

Except many people continue to (choose to) believe the lie, instead of substantiating it's exposure and taking action.

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