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Greggie

Greggie: I'm in the midst of ... setback, WD, who knows?

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Greggie

Today is week 11 for me. I’m feeling great. I’m not 100% better but I’d say my symptoms have reduced by 60-70%. If this is a window, it’s lasted a whole week so far. I’ve had anxiety and a few hard moments, but I’m not letting it take over. I’ve been attending CBT and it’s been doing wonders. My therapist has suggested NOT coming to this site and reading all of the horror stories, and NOT constantly journaling. It’s funny, within days of following this advice, I felt so much better. I felt like I suddenly had a grasp on my recovery. I didn’t feel hopeless and spiralling. I wasn’t focused all day everyday on how I was feeling, I was recovering.

 

is this just a temporary window? Don’t know, and at the moment, don’t care. 

 

If you never ever hear from me again you can assume I have recovered. My four month theory may actually hold water. 

 

There are things I need to work on now. Like my anger issues and the anxiety I tried to drug away. I’m not in denial, I went on these drugs for a reason, and at some point I’ll have to put WD away and deal with that problem, as will you. Relapse post AD treatment is high, these pills don’t cure anything. So although you probably are having some kind of difficulty with AD WD, you need to address the problem for which you started the pills in the first place. You can’t sit around blaming WD for that hoping that one day it will go away when your brain goes back to homeostasis. Deal with WD the same way you’d deal with your anxiety/depression/ocd etc without drugs. Go to therapy, learn some new skills. STOP OBSESSING OVER HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE! It’s hard, I know, trust me, it’s still hard for me, but as soon as I let go I started to make some real progress.

 

and for those of you who find yourself in true protracted WD or extended WD, my heart goes out to you.

 

Please go to therapy, it will help. If you can’t afford it, listen to Claire Weekes, read the DARE response. Get some workbooks and do the exercises. Get comfortable in your discomfort and remember, this too shall pass. You can do it. There is hope. You won’t feel this way forever. 

 

Much love.

 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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ChessieCat
8 hours ago, Greggie said:

If you never ever hear from me again you can assume I have recovered.

 

I can understand that part of the process of recovery for you is putting this part of your life behind you.

 

However, it would be greatly appreciated if you could post occasionally to let us know how your recovery is going.  You wouldn't need to read anything else on here, just come and post in your own topic.  You could even type it up first and copy and paste it to reduce your time here.


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 12 Sept 2020:  Pristiq 0.625 mg (compounded)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Greggie

Week 12.

 

I'm still not completely over WD, I'm grateful for an amazing two week window.

 

Currently dealing with a wave/setback, (since Monday) I know WD is still an issue as I'm still getting weepy from time to time, more so than my pre-drug state. I'd say I'm still feeling about 150% of baseline. I don't mind feeling weepy from time to time, I just wish I didn't have to feel everything else in the 150% spectrum too.

 

I finished my 4th week of CBT this week. My original condition is rearing its ugly head. I had/have a panic disorder (fear of bodily sensations), which apparently is one of the easiest disorders to treat with CBT. I hope they are right, because I'm waaaaaaaay uncomfortable atm.

 

desensitize, desensitize, desensitize.

 

I suspect I still have a month or so of dealing with both WD and my original condition, however, acceptance seems to be the only solution. 

 

Sleep is going well, .75mg melatonin and sleep mask work well. But even after 7.5-8 hrs of sleep I'm exhausted by 6pm.  If I close my eyes during the day and focus on my breathing (4,7,8) I can fall asleep within about 2 min. almost anywhere. (except at bed time)

 

Anyway, I guess I got a bit overzealous when it came to that last post.

 

I hope one day soon you'll stop hearing from me.

 

 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Week 19. 

 

For the most part I'm feeling pretty good. Been under lots of stress lately, Wife is about to give birth to our first child, trying to finish renovating our new condo before the kid gets here and I was laid off from my job about two weeks ago. These are very stressful times, and somehow, I'm doing okay.

 

I have been getting a nervous feeling in my belly over the past few days, not directly linked to anything I can think of. Probably like a 3 or 4/10, but for the past few weeks I haven't even been thinking about anxiety and WD. When I'm busy working with my hands, I feel fine. When I'm working in front of a computer. I don't feel great. 

 

I'm not saying I'm over WD completely, but almost 5 months off all ADs and things have definitely improved. My windows are getting really long. My waves don't really seem as bad as they were, but I'm looking forward to the days when waves are no longer something I think about.

 

 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Week 22 feeling good. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Happy 2020!
 

Friday will be 9 months for me (fast taper) off SSRIs. 9 months already. Feels like an eternity, but also feels like the blink of an eye. 
 

Everything was going smoothly, I felt I was finally over the panic and anxiety, I felt I was finally done with the withdrawal, but then a few days ago I was hit with panic. I felt tingling in my finger and toes on my left side and even though I was laying down in a position that could have caused those sensations, it triggered me. I had the beginning of a panic attack, (a set back?) I don’t know. It took some time but I got through it in one piece. After that was over, I had the post panic shakes for about 20min. The next day I was on edge. Waiting for it to happen again, but it didn’t. Then yesterday I over-consumed caffeine. I had a coffee then a pre-workout drink then went to the gym, and when I got back home I had another coffee. (Aprox 500mg in 4 hours) I feel like I had done this many time before in the last few weeks but yesterday it sent me spiralling. I was having panic symptoms off and on for most of the day. I made it through, and by the end of the night I was feeling much better, but not great. 
 

Today I can feel that I’m a bit on edge. Wondering if my original condition is returning, wondering if I’m having some late onset withdrawal, wondering, wondering, wondering. I guess it’s time to use those CBT tools again. Just accept and move on. Let panic be there, because it will eventually pass and I will feel good again. 

 

Is this a wave? Was I in a window for the past few months? Those months of clarity and calm were amazing. I want them back.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Am I imagining that I read someplace that there is a 9 month setback? I fast withdrew from Escitalopram and felt ok, then suffered bad at 6 weeks for a while, then again at 3months. That one lasted for about 6 weeks at which point I really felt like I was on the upswing. Had almost only windows. Then at like 9 months, almost to the day. BAM! Hit hard with a tsunami of a wave. It’s been almost two weeks, with a window day in there and then moments, but it’s like this wave is drowning me.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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manymoretodays

Hi Greggie, @Greggie

 

It doesn't end at "0"

^ this might be what you were thinking of.

 

And yes, unfortunately......the windows and waves of protracted acute withdrawal syndrome.  It does get better.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Greggie

Yes, this is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much for pass it along. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Rough days, very rough days. I’ve been having panic attacks, and then constant anxiety for the past two and a half weeks. Is this normal for a WD setback? I was so happy that I was feeling good for 4 months with nothing. And now I feel like this will never end. 
 

help


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Erell
On 1/15/2020 at 11:38 PM, Greggie said:

. Is this normal for a WD setback? 

In WD, healing journey is made of ups and downs, so yes that sounds normal.

 

Make sure To avoid alcohol, caféine and other drugs. Do a lot of selfcare, rest as much as you can.

 

Healing process can be pretty rough, but the most important thing is that it does get better.

 

I invite you To read some topics here : Windows and waves pattern (In "symptoms and selfcare" section) / and a topic written by Brassmonkey "are de there yet?"

(i'm sorry i'm not on my computer so I cant post you the links)

It Will help you To understand what you're going through. 

 

Stay strong ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : weaning Paroxetine 20mg. 3% every 15 days.

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

Current medication : 7mg Fluoxetine + 1mg Diazepam + toothpick Paroxetine 

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Greggie
19 hours ago, Erell said:

In WD, healing journey is made of ups and downs, so yes that sounds normal.

 

Make sure To avoid alcohol, caféine and other drugs. Do a lot of selfcare, rest as much as you can.

 

Healing process can be pretty rough, but the most important thing is that it does get better.

 

I invite you To read some topics here : Windows and waves pattern (In "symptoms and selfcare" section) / and a topic written by Brassmonkey "are de there yet?"

(i'm sorry i'm not on my computer so I cant post you the links)

It Will help you To understand what you're going through. 

 

Stay strong ❤


thanks for this. I’ve been on the upswing for the past few days, possibly equal windows to waves (we shall see where today goes). I track all of my progress with daily charts, maybe when I’m through this set back I’ll post what my healing process actually looked like. It’s really interesting to see so many peaks and valleys as the days go. One day I’ll be ok the next super anxious the next ok, the next crazy anxiety and so on. Currently I seem to be leveling out. The past two days have sustained at a somewhat tolerable level. I’m hoping it’s a good sign. I’m trying to be optimistic. It’s hard to not let your brain think about how easy it would be to just hop back on some kind of meds to get some relief, but at this point I think it may do more harm than good. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Oh man, one day I’m awesome, the next I’m the worst I’ve ever been, the next I’m okay, then I’m awesome again. I keep thinking I’m getting better, then I get nailed with a killer wave, this is exhausting, so very very exhausting. I get the windows and waves idea, but why the heck do you feel so good one day and then like you’re losing your mind the next? Yesterday I was like “Yes! I’m finally on the upswing” and then today I’m like “holy crap I’m back at the very beginning... I’ve made no progress.” Very disheartening. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

So yesterday was brutal. I was hoping for a good day today, In fact I expected it, but today felt brutal. Here’s the thing though. Today I woke up feeling awesome, I was skeptical, but still felt good. Then around 1 it started to slowly creep over me. What? I don’t know. I’m calling it anxiety... but in all honestly the feeling is indescribable. It slowly over took me like a dark cloud, then in about 3 hours time, I felt okay again. Much more tired and beat down by this journey, but ok. I’m really hoping this 2-5 weeks timeline will apply to me, but I’m coming up on 4 weeks now and there is no end in sight it seems. Feeling very discouraged at this point. I’m started to worry that being on drugs ya be the only way to freedom from debilitating anxiety. 
 

current symptoms:

pounding heart, not fast, just hard

ringing in my ears

around mid afternoon I feel like I’m in ketosis 

breath could kill a dragon in the AM

morning anxiety

intermittent freezing cold hands and feet

Feeling like I have a fever

tired, so tired and heavy

All around exhausted

 

but I’m sleeping better than I have slept in my life... weird.

 

any words of wisdom or encouragement would be great appreciated. 
 

here let me start it off... “It’s okay Greggie, it’s a setback, it should probably pass by tomorrow, I know because I’m the only useful doctor in the world who cares enough to bother trying to figure out what’s wrong with you and not just try to stuff pills down your throat. And I’ve seen this a million times... because I don’t dismiss everything as JUST anxiety.”

 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

9 months and three weeks since quitting Escitalopram fast taper. First 4 months were tough, followed by a pretty good 5 months, then hit with a setback that landed like an atomic bomb at almost exactly 9 months. Dare I call it the worst consistent anxiety I’ve had to date.
 

Everyday, at different times of the day for about 2-3 hours I’m getting hit with anxiety attacks. Hands go freezing, heart starts beating hard... then, when it’s over, I’m exhausted and my head is pounding like I have a hangover. I guess I shouldn’t complain considering the rest of the day is pretty good, but that 2-3 hours is tough. And the hangover levels me. Luckily I’m off work at the moment, unlucky for me I’m not independently wealthy so I’ll have to go back to work and possibly deal with this and a job. I’m trying to change my reaction to it from one of fear to one of acceptance. Some days it works, others I get so mad I wanna smash stuff. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Junglechicken

Hi Greggie,

 

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

 

Just wanted to let you know that I also have been experiencing the below, which is linked to gut function:

 

"Does anyone else get this weird mouth feeling when anxious? Like you're dehydrated? You tongue feels weird and gross, and gets this awful white coating on it? Maybe I am dehydrated." 

 

I have had this for the past 4 years (at least) and can't remember the last time my tongue was healthy and just pink.

 

TC,

JC


Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

 

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)

Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018

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Greggie

@Junglechicken I actually found that I was doing a lot of mouth breathing while anxious. What helped me a lot was doing more conscious breathing through the nose.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Month 10 off of SSRIs.

 

full disclosure, I attempted to start A low dose protocol of TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) for low T about 12 weeks ago. I’m wondering if my set back could be linked to messing with my hormones. I stopped taking the shots about a month ago, but I’m still feeling like garbage. 
 

I think.... and I could be wrong, but I think I’m on the upswing? Man, I find myself being carefully optimistic because I don’t want to jinx it. I hate to say I feeling better sometimes because I feel like there’s this little creature hiding behind my couch and he’s like, “Oh ya? Feeling better are ya?” And then he pounces in me closing the window and surfing the wave. 
 

I actually just got a ferritin blood test and got a 53 ug/L ref 22-275, so I’m thinking maaaaaybe I’m iron deficient? But I’m not off the charts low so I’m not sure if 53 is bad enough to feel terrible. 
 

I feel terrible. I hope to report something positive soon.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

5 1/2 weeks into this set back and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Like I can feel the light. It’s like a warm sunlight that I feel like I haven’t felt in weeks. I’m not there yet, but it’s like the sun shines through intermittent cracks, and I’m in it. I get different variations of windows. A window is never just a window. Sometimes they’re dirty windows looking out at a grey sky. Sometimes looking out at a blue sky. Sometimes clean windows looking out at the grey sky... sometimes the window is open, a country breeze is blowing and the sun is shining. I had all but forgotten about those windows, those wonderful wonderful windows. But I feel like I’m getting close. Each day the window gets cleaner. Maybe it opens a little bit. One thing is for sure, the waves are getting shorter the tide is going out and the windows are looking cleaner.
 

I can start to appreciate all the terrible feelings I’ve been though when I have the feeling of calm, when I almost feel nothing strange at all... or when I can be with the feelings and not judge them. I allow them to be as they are and not allow them to be so important. That feeling of calm though, it’s wonderful. Without the bitter; the sweet is not as sweet. In recovery I feel like we appreciate life more than those who haven’t been through it. Maybe in a way we are lucky. Maybe not.
 

All of this sounds very optimistic, and it should be. I can see so much progress. I know there will likely be more waves to come, but progress is progress. You can’t deny it. But I’m carefully optimistic, I still need to work on my recovery. That’s the only way to really fully recover, you must see it through until the very end. 
 

When you can finally jump out the window and run down to the ocean and enjoy the warm sun then just into the waves and swim with them, that’s what full recovery must be like. A dream come true. Better than winning the lottery. It’s all I’ve ever wanted since I began this journey. 
 

Please let this be the upswing.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Day after thanking the universe for finally releasing me from the grips of suffering ... Hours after feeling so optimistic. 

 

BAM! Another wave. A bad wave. 

classic. I wanna smash something.

 

if I was allowed to swear on this site, the only words I would have used for this post would haves started with the later F.

 

 

 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Window! It was a dirty window, but it was a window nonetheless. 

 

where there are windows, there is hope.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Erell
6 hours ago, Greggie said:

Window! It was a dirty window, but it was a window nonetheless. 

 

where there are windows, there is hope.

Yes ! ❤💪


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : weaning Paroxetine 20mg. 3% every 15 days.

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

Current medication : 7mg Fluoxetine + 1mg Diazepam + toothpick Paroxetine 

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Carmie

Yay for windows Greggie🎉🎉🎉

 

Sending hugs🤗


Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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Greggie

Spoke too soon. I feel that all hope is lost.

 

im researching going back On drugs at this point. I don’t want to, but I need relief so bad. These ups and downs are making me feel insane. 

 

Doesn’t feel fair. I don’t want to feel like this anymore ... an hour after that last post I had a panic attack and now brutal anxiety, relentless for for the past two days. I Even dream about anxiety so now there is no relief, not even while unconscious. Takes the joy out of life. 

 

 I’m sick of this.
 

 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

my current self talk... 
 

“Let these thoughts come and go. They scare  you, let them scare you. You feel like you can’t cope? Stop trying.

 

What if this is the worst it will get? What if this is all it’s got? What if it can’t get worse than this? If I make it through this, I’ll be able to make it through anything. What if it only feels so bad because last week was so good? What if next week I’ll feel better again? What if this is the last big wave before finally being free? What if I feel so bad because I’ve made so much progress over the past six weeks? What if this is a good sign? What if being slammed this hard is the beginning of the end of my suffering. If I can endure and get stronger and stronger eventually this kind of suffering won’t be a big deal at all. I’ll come through, you must pass through the storm, you can’t give up half way. I need to see this through, I WILL FEEL BETTER ONE DAY SOONER THAN LATER. the storm only has so much wind and rain. Sure it may come back, but there will be sunny days ahead. There always are. Just need to stay the course and get to the other end. Stay strong.”


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Still under this wave. Today was brutal. It’s been brutal non stop since Saturday night. Brutal doesn’t even begin to describe what this feels like. It’s overwhelming to say the least. I’ve never had a wave be this intense and last this long without at least a bit of a window. This feels like no relief. This is undoubtedly the worst I have ever felt. 
 

going into my 7th fricking week Of this “setback”? Or whatever it is... it’s hell. 10.5 months off of all SSRIs and I fear that my journey may come to an end sooner than later. I promised my wife 1 year off before I’d even begin to consider going back, but I don’t know if I’ll survive another 6 weeks like this. 
 

pray for me. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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jozeff

How is your situation now greggie?

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's very hard .

I know.

I really hope you will experience some windows very soon.

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 


- 2016 - Okt 2017 citalopram some months 15 mg some months 20 mg

- Nov 2017- Apr 2018 citalopram 25 mg

- April 2018 -  June 2018 citalopram 3 month TAPER too fast  from 25mg to 16.5 mg (0.1 mg per day decrease, felt horrible and crashed)

- June 2018 - Aug13th 2018 citalopram trying to stabilize at 16.5 mg for 5 weeks, felt absolutely awful.

- August 14th 2018 - April 29th 2019  citalopram 18 mg (1.5 mg updose). Try to stabilize.-

START TAPER 29 apr 2019 @ 18 mg,    29th Jun 16.4 mg / 19th aug 15.4 mg / 25th Aug 15.2 mg / 30th sep 14.0 mg / 4th dec 13.1 mg2020 citalopram taper approx 1 % per week: 03rd Jan 12.75 mg / 28 Jan 12.29 mg / 18th Feb 11.83 mg, 25th Feb 11.68 mg hold../7th May 11.33 mg hold, 4th Aug 10.98 mg. Holding because of not feeling well.

 

 

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Greggie

Hey @jozeff still struggling. Today wasn’t quite as bad as yesterday, but I can feel myself losing hope which is very scary. I’ve never had so many days of waves in a row, not even when I first jumped off almost a year ago... that might not be true, but it feels like it is. I haven’t had a break since last Saturday. I want so badly to make it to the light, but currently I’m feeling like it’s miles away and I’m running out of energy. All I know is that feeling this awful can’t kill me, it just feels like it might. I wish that was more comforting. 
 

thanks for checking in 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

easing up a touch, still not feeling great.


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Deep inner restlessness that comes on every twelve hours or so. Seems like a weird anxiety symptom. Also hands and feet used to get cold, then just feet,  now just one foot... is this a continuation of WD? If so, can I expect this to pass? 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Snorky
On 2/20/2020 at 2:04 AM, Greggie said:

Deep inner restlessness that comes on every twelve hours or so. Seems like a weird anxiety symptom. Also hands and feet used to get cold, then just feet,  now just one foot... is this a continuation of WD? If so, can I expect this to pass? 

Hi G

 

Can v much relate to the inner restlessness thing. Mine starts when I wake around 6 and combined with an awful mental tension/tightening feeling. It’s like you’re having to count every second. There’s no relief, including meditation. It’s like the brain just won’t give you a minute’s rest.

 

Good luck and God bless.


 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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Greggie

The saga continues. Two months in to this... whatever it is... doctor has advised me to take Ativan for relief as needed to get me through. But through what? What is this?
 

My wife had a baby four months back, we moved to a new city, but not far from our old one, I got laid off, but looks like work may be coming soon, my mother-in-law has moved in with us, we bought a new condo and renovated it... then Christmas came and went, docs had me try Testosterone replacement, I started drinking coffee again and tried fasting... then New Years, then I got hit with this. Could this setback just be a delayed stress response to all that stuff? I mean, it’s a lot, but I thought I was handling it fine... maybe I wasn’t? I guess when I list everything it seems kinda dumb to even ask why I’m resensitized, but before drugs I seemed to handle major stuff like this fine. I wasn’t levelled by panic and anxiety at random times during the day. I’m in CBT... again... hoping that that will help. Last two weeks have been pretty constant in terms of symptoms, not too much in terms of relief. I had a slow decline in symptoms for five weeks and then hit with another wave of symptoms just as bad if not worse out of no where. I was eating a piece of chocolate in my kitchen for heavens sake, then I’m having a panic attack. Gosh! I’m just about at the end of my rope here. I’m seriously thinking of reinstatement, I don’t want to, I really really don’t, but I can’t see an end in sight.
 

Has anyone else been this far along and then gotten hit with something like this?! Can I expect it to pass if I just ride it out?! 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Greggie

Whoops. My mistake. 


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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Gridley
On 2/21/2020 at 11:07 PM, Greggie said:

doctor has advised me to take Ativan for relief as needed to get me through.

Be very careful with Ativan.  Dependence (addiction) wan result within 2 to 4 weeks of regular use and can result from intermittent use.  Once you're dependent, you no longer the original benefit of the drugs and are only staving off withdrawal.

 

On 2/21/2020 at 11:07 PM, Greggie said:

’m seriously thinking of reinstatement, I don’t want to, I really really don’t, but I can’t see an end in sight.

Reinstatement works most predictably within 3 months of last dose.  Reinstating 10 months out would be very risky.  

 

You're having windows and waves and things are slowly improving, though you may not think so.  We don't know how long withdrawal lasts but we do know that it's longer than we would like and that along the way it's going to be very frustrating.  I would stay the course.  You are showing signs of healing, and that's very encouraging.  This link is a good illustration of the up and down process of healing.

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Aug 13, 2020 at 0.1mg

Taper is 99.5% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .33mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Greggie

Thanks for the reply, I understand the waves and windows but where I’m confused in terms of my situation is a five month window. Does that happen? I felt practically back to normal for five months before getting hit with this wave. Which I guess is what makes it so much worse. I thought it was all over.
 

also when it comes to ativan, I haven’t taken it, In over a year. Even when I did take it, I’ve only taken it once is a blue moon. I’ve had  the same prescription for years, but am always way too afraid to use them regularly. How, if it is necessary, do I take it safely?


                Paxil from 2001-2006 30mg, quit CT

  • Feb 10/2017 - 5mg Paroxetine (Paxil)  -Feb 12/2017 - upped - 10mg April 1-7th/2017 - Tapered off 
  • took an Ativan once while trying to get on these things
  • July 6th/2017  - Reinstated 5mg - Paroxetine (Paxil)
  • took another Ativan while trying to get back on these things 
  • July 9th/2017 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 16/2018 - Jan 30th/2018 -  Taper - 10mg/5days 5mg/5days 2.5mg/5days - stop
  • March 12/2018 - Reinstated - 10mg Citalopram (Celexa)
  • likely took an Ativan here too
  • Oct 23rd/2018 - Switched - Paroxetine (Paxil) 5mg 
  • Nov 9th/2018 - Upped - 10mg
  • Jan 11/2019 - switched -  5mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Feb 18/2019 - Upped - 10mg Escitalopram 
  • March 27/2019 reduced - 5mg 
  • April 18/2019 reduced - 2.5mg
  • April 27/2019 stopped
  • I took an Ativan Monday April 24th 2020

 

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siwoue
20 hours ago, Greggie said:

Thanks for the reply, I understand the waves and windows but where I’m confused in terms of my situation is a five month window. Does that happen? I felt practically back to normal for five months before getting hit with this wave. Which I guess is what makes it so much worse. I thought it was all over.
 

also when it comes to ativan, I haven’t taken it, In over a year. Even when I did take it, I’ve only taken it once is a blue moon. I’ve had  the same prescription for years, but am always way too afraid to use them regularly. How, if it is necessary, do I take it safely?

 

Im 18 months out from a month on Lexapro, 5mg and I had some pretty good months too, up until christmas where i was back in a huge wave again. It buzzez, feels like tickles, or bugs under my skin and in my skeleton aaall the time. And worse sometimes. And a wave of awful derealisation flush over me with buzzing in my eyes and a need to sleep asap. Thats just some of my sympthoms these days. 

 

So yeah, i guess sympthoms comes and goes how it please. Stay strong 👌:) 


2008 - Setralin 150mg, CT after 1 year. 
2015 - Venlafaxin 150mg. CT after 1 month. 
2016 - Brintellix 100mg, CT after  2 years.
2018 

January - Mirtazapin 25 mg, CT after 1 month. 
Mars - Setralin 100 mg. CT after 1 month. 
August- Lexapro 5 mg. CT after 1 month, adverse reaction. Stopped all benzo, sleeping pills here too. 

2019 

January - Took fluconazol and itraconazol, strong reaction, like bein floxed. 

January - Used progesteronecream 200mg a day for 1 month. Severe reaction month 2 so i stopped (maybe built up cream in tissues?) 

April - Took plan-B, this messed me up the most. 

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