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Anthony75

@Sassenach

 

Hopefully I’m not bugging you. I found were the attachments are. You are allowed 5 but unfortunately there was not an option to delete old ones.

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Hi Sassenach 

 

I'm feeling suicidally depressed.

 

I'm in a bad way, yesterday shook me up badly, had horrendous dreams about my family last night.

 

I feel like I'm not lovable, not worthy like I did as a child even though it's not true.  I realise I have alot of inner pain and I'm at my lowest point... the past 6 months have been a constant battle and I'm scared.  

 

Last night, I felt happy for the 1st time in ages at around 10pm, I was dancing with my Son... felt positive today would be better and have awoken to severe depression.

 

Please advise? I'm so afraid.

 

Amanda x

 

 

 

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Hi Anthony

 

I'm really struggling today.

 

Thank you so much for caring. I will read through a little later as not in a good way right now x

 

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Shep
23 hours ago, Amanda167 said:

I was placed on the valium 1st of May, placed on the quetiapine and zoplicone on the 14th of May by the phych ward after calling the ER. I was placed on them because of severe Paxil withdrawal which started the 8th of February upon reaching 7mg. I believe changed generics caused this as I was doing fine before the switch.

I was in hell, bedridden, severe insomnia, panic etc etc... in a very bad way... wish I'd never taken the other meds now but wasn't thinking straight and was desperate for relief.

I don't think any provided relief apart from the zopiclone as I badly needed sleep.

I also updosed at the same time.

 

 

Which drug did you updose? 

 

In addition to my post here highlighting that the zopiclone seems to be the drug that is helping the most right now, the post I'm quoting here also show that the z-drug may be the drug you'll want to stay on until you are off Paxil. 

 

1 minute ago, Amanda167 said:

I'm feeling suicidally depressed.

 

I'm in a bad way, yesterday shook me up badly, had horrendous dreams about my family last night.

 

I feel like I'm not lovable, not worthy like I did as a child even though it's not true.  I realise I have alot of inner pain and I'm at my lowest point... the past 6 months have been a constant battle and I'm scared.  

 

Last night, I felt happy for the 1st time in ages at around 10pm, I was dancing with my Son... felt positive today would be better and have awoken to severe depression.

 

Please advise? I'm so afraid.

 

We need to have a daily drug and symptoms journal. We can't advise without that. 

 

Please include any supplements, other drugs including over the counter drugs, and the hours you sleep at night. 

 

 

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Sassenach

Hi Amanda

None of this is your fault.

Please tell me whether you have had any help or counselling. Last night dancing with your son is how it can be all the time 

but we need to address your issues.

Sassenach

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Shep
1 hour ago, Anthony75 said:

@Sassenach

 

Can you please tell me where to do that?

 

Please ask these kinds of questions over in Technical Support

 

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Shep
16 hours ago, Amanda167 said:

I decided to brave it and take a walk around the block a few times during the day which I haven't done for a while. Anyhow, I was absolutely traumatised by it. I keep getting past childhood memories surfacing and as I was walking, I felt like myself as a 10 year old girl, I felt overwhelmingly lost and alone, I felt an intense emotion that I was so unloved and betrayed by my family, it felt so real and I had a traumatic childhood filled with abuse. I felt that I'd moved forward from those years but lately this is happening alot!

 

Amanda, in this post What is happening in your brain?, Parker gives a really good description of the reason you're having these kinds of flashbacks due to the benzo (and people withdrawing from antidepressants also have similar experiences). I've quoted the parts on the amygdala and hippocampus in the quote box below, but when you're up to it, you may want to read the entire article. 

 

Basically, the fear center of your brain has gone on high alert and it's searching for anything in your memory center to match up to that level of fear. This can cause you to re-live very painful times in your life.

 

It's important to work on self care and learn some mindfulness skills, such as not attaching your thoughts to these flashbacks. Simply let them happen as if they are a disturbing tv show. It's not real, just your brain going in feedback loops.

 

Distraction can also be helpful, such as learning to "change the channel" so you don't go into an emotional spiral. Here's information on this on other related issues:

 

Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Neuro-emotion

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

On 12/26/2015 at 2:37 PM, Altostrata said:

Let me first list brain structures and their functions. This will help you understand where things happen in the brain and when symptoms occur, what may be happening.

BRAIN STRUCTURES
amygdala  - This is the FEAR center in the brain. It's a tiny part in the middle of your brain. Fear is protective and it's GREAT if you need to assess something that is dangerous and to ACT  - like if a rabid dog were chasing you. - but it's hard in recoveyr when it's all you feel for months! But the FEAR is not truly in your MIND. It's in your BRAIN.  There is too much glutamate acting here in the amygdala and not enough GABA. So the nerves are firing off in the fear center when nothing scary is really there in your environment.  It is normal for that to happen given the circumstance physiologically. But it feels awful, doesn't it?  I know.  But it's just a brain structure. This can account for fear, agoraphobia, fear of water, fear of anything.  It's not that you're really "scared" of the moon - it's that you're in almost constant fear because this brain structure is healing. The glutamate is pruning back. The GABA receptors are opening back up.  It may or may not continue for awhile. It will abate. Then come back. But eventually, the brain will get it right.  smiley.gif

Hippocampus - This is the "memory" center of the brain. It ties in old memories to emotions.  The same thing is happening here that is happening in the amygdala with GABA and Glutamate. So - voila. You get intrusive memories from ALL times in your [...].  It's wild and wicked and wooly. But it can't hurt you. And if you can learn to visualize this as what is happening - then you can learn to be objective and realize it's normal.  And like the amygdala - it will come and go and frustrate you, but it will go away when the physiology is restored.

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Sassenach

Amanda

Shep needs your diary and drug details for yesterday.

There is no need to relive everything just post time drug Isymptoms.

You can do this Amanda.

Sassenach

 

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Anthony75

@Amanda167

 

Hi Amanda,

You will have another great night again. Please don’t let a bad day bring you down. You might feel better tonight again. You can do this I know it. If you need to talk I’m here. 

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Amanda167
33 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

Hi Amanda

None of this is your fault.

Please tell me whether you have had any help or counselling. Last night dancing with your son is how it can be all the time 

but we need to address your issues.

Sassenach

Yes, many years ago.

 

Thought I'd overcome this trauma but by my family rejecting me at a time when I need them is reinforcing these negative emotions I felt as a child I believe.

 

I feel so low. Feel like I'm losing the fight x

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Thanks Anthony 

Never felt so low,  it's overwhelming 

I don't know how to cope x

 

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Sassenach

How did your son feel last night when you were dancing with him.

You can do it again please do your diary and drug

notes.

Help us to help you.

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Hi Shep

 

I updosed the Paxil from 7mg to 10mg the same time as the new meds were added.

 

I want off of the Paxil last. I need to get off the added meds 1st.

 

I've been doing my daily diary x

 

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Anthony75

@Amanda167

 

Hi Amanda,

I too have felt this way. I know how overwhelming it can get but please believe me you will make it through this. Sassenach & Shep are giving you solid advice an information. You are worthy and cared about. I went through the same mental bullsh*t. It’s not your tru thoughts. It’s withdrawal thoughts. I had the same ones. You WILL get passed this bump in the road. I now it’s easier said than done but try your best to not own those thoughts. There not yours they don’t belong to you.

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Even though I'm aware of this, I'm suffering so badly.

I feel so traumatised by the whole experience.  I feel lost, alone and in constant fear.

The pain my heart is overwhelming 

Just want to curl up and die... but I don't!!!! I want to survive but the pain is so great x

 

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Hi Sassenach 

 

He loved it of course

 

I did my diary last night. I'm confused.

What do I need to do? X

 

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Hi Shep 

 

My diary from last night 

 

22/07/19

 

10.25 am. Got up. Highly anxious, nausea and surprise,  an upset stomach.

11am. O.60 valium 

11.30. Made breakfast plus 1000mg krill and 350mg magnesium glycinate

12pm to 4pm. Stayed home doing bits and pieces, nausea calmed down.

4pm. Had some snacks.

4.15pm. Decided to go for my 2st daytime walk in a while which turned out a traumatic experience, having childhood flashbacks, came home sobbing my heart out 

6.30pm. Had dinner.

7pm. Took 0.40 valium 

7pm. 4mg quetiapine 

7pm. 10mg Paxil

7.15pm. Had bath, feeling very fearful and still traumatic by earlier walk.

8pm. Done household chores.

9pm. Walked dog

10pm. Took 375mg Zoplicone 

Had a 30 minute window playing music and dancing with my Son. The 1st window ive had in 5 months... felt awesome and now I feel at my lowest point.

12pm going to bed.  Went to bed 1am

 

Overall summary, there is an improvement of physical symptoms that are finally letting up.

Main symptoms nausea, anxiety, intense fear, lonliness , stress and depression.

 

Thanks, Amanda



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Amanda167
2 minutes ago, Amanda167 said:

Which drug did you updose? 

Paxil from 7mg to 10mg on the 14th of May x

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Amanda167
3 minutes ago, Amanda167 said:

Please include any supplements, other drugs including over the counter drugs, and the hours you sleep at night. 

No other drugs to note

 

Only take krill oil and magnesium 

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Sassenach

Hi Amanda

Our apologies

there have been so many posts on your thread that your diary is actually quite a long way up the thread now.

I will advise Shep immediately.

I have asked Anthony to ease up a little and give us room to help you.

If I'm honest I thought you were in such a state that you would not have got round to doing your diary.

You proved me wrong and demonstrated how strong you can be.

Let us all take a breather now we know you are ok.

Will catch you this evening between 5 and 7.

You are a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for.

Sassenach

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Amanda167
54 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Amanda, in this post What is happening in your brain?, Parker gives a really good description of the reason you're having these kinds of flashbacks due to the benzo (and people withdrawing from antidepressants also have similar experiences). I've quoted the parts on the amygdala and hippocampus in the quote box below, but when you're up to it, you may want to read the entire article. 

 

Basically, the fear center of your brain has gone on high alert and it's searching for anything in your memory center to match up to that level of fear. This can cause you to re-live very painful times in your life.

 

It's important to work on self care and learn some mindfulness skills, such as not attaching your thoughts to these flashbacks. Simply let them happen as if they are a disturbing tv show. It's not real, just your brain going in feedback loops.

 

Distraction can also be helpful, such as learning to "change the channel" so you don't go into an emotional spiral. Here's information on this on other related issues:

 

Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Neuro-emotion

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Thank you

 

I am aware but appreciated so much

 

I just can't seem to move past them today... usually I can but feel haunted by my strong emotions.

Trying to distract and accept... I really feel so sick and so low... keep running to the toilet as stomach is so bad.

I feel like that scared little helpless girl again which I believe has been triggered again by my mum who totally rejects what's going on reinforcing a belief that I'm unlovable. 

I've always been a massively strong person, this is killing me inside. Don't know how to relieve these powerful emotions... sitting here numb and powerless... so afraid. Don't want to live like this daily.

What can I do??? Feel like I've lost everyone and everything 

How will I ever get well and get my life back.

Have doctors and can't go as terrified to go out. My blood sugars are way to high even though I've always eaten healthily and been fit and active.

Can't put on weight due to the stress, worried what it's doing to me. Missing exercise so much but mostly missing my Son and my love and joy I usually feel when I'm with him. Feel stuck, afraid, lost and alone. Scared I've tapered to fast and caused permanent damage.. Feel so isolated and desperate.

If only I could get back to the 30 mins I had last night with my boy, the best I've felt in the whole 6 months and now I'm feeling the lowest.

Is this normal? I'm heartbroken 😢

 

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Amanda167
Posted (edited)

Thanks Sassenach 

 

I copied and pasted it to Shep.

 

I really need to know what to do as I'm not coping at all.

It takes everything I have just to respond to anything right now.

Just wish I could continue from the love I felt last night for 30 minutes, really thought today would be a step forward and I feel worse than ever. Bad dreams,  lack of sleep, awoke every hour... please tell me it goes away x

 

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Sassenach

Can't talk now Amanda

You can get back to the last 30 minutes

Will be online between 5 and 7

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ten0275
Posted (edited)

Hey @Amanda167,

 

I am sorry things are so difficult right now. I remember well when I was where you are now, and I understand how hopeless and endless things feel.


The whole process of withdrawal for me came from the seed of my parents not thinking I was adequate. They started me on medication in the early 80s when I was just a small boy (on the advice of the nuns at my school) because I wasn't "living up to expectations," and had a nervous and shy nature inherently. I was rarely accepted for who I was. Ironically, the process of withdrawal and all the pain it brought with it, taught me I was adequate and then some. It also taught me that much of the strength I thought I had before withdrawal, and while on the drugs for over three decades wasn't strength at all, but rather a very elaborate mask I'd constructed to protect myself from the past fear and feelings of inadequacy I'd developed. And even though I was in my mid-30s when withdrawal started, and even though the effects of withdrawal were so very apparent to all around me, my parents also did not accept what I was going through as legitimate.


You will most certainly get your life back. I made some very bad mistakes on doctor's orders early in withdrawal that were nearly cold-turkey in nature, and ultimately I reinstated one of those drugs, mirtazapine, and got my taper and symptoms under control, and pushed my way towards the drug-free state I am in now.


The weight will come back too. I had to do the math as I am in the states, but before withdrawal I weighed about 77kg and at the worst of withdrawal, I'd dropped to about 57kg. That was very frightening. Anxiety affects my stomach very directly, so I just did my best to get the calories in me that I could. And as the symptoms lowered, I was able to regain what I needed to feel healthy. In those early days, I woke every morning crying and vomiting and spent the entirety of those days trying to just hang on. That seems a distant memory now.


Dancing with your son is such a beautiful thing, such a poignant moment. My children were both very young when I was in the worst of withdrawal and I lived for those moments of normalcy, unbounded joy, and love. Those moments will grow and multiply as you heal.


@Shep and @Sassenach are awesome mods and I know they, and many others here will help see you through. I saw @Shep had recommended you read the post by Parker on "What is Happening in Your Brain." Have you had a chance to read it? If not, I second that recommendation. I was in very regular contact with Parker when she wrote that post and that post made so much sense to me, it gave me much strength to push forward because I felt I could better contextualize what had, and was, and would happen to me. It ultimately proved true.


It was hard for me to accept the equation that rejection-of-me-by-others did not, and should not, mean rejection-of-me-by-myself. That was something I had to come to grips with. And it sounds like from your description of dancing that you have a dance partner who most certainly does not reject you, but rather loves and cherishes you and those moments with you.


Take good care of yourself and hang in there.

 

Dave

Edited by ten0275

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Sassenach

Hi Amanda.

 

How are you feeling now?

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Amanda167
51 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

Hi Amanda.

 

How are you feeling now?

Hi Sassenach 

 

Not good.

Wish I could say differently 

 

Still very low. Have real bad head pressure and bad stomach too.

 

I just want to find a way forward 

 

I'm watching disidentification videos and I am not my thoughts videos currently.

 

Today I have done nothing. I'm just crying, sad and detached 

 

I want my life back so much it hurts. Xx

 

 

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Sassenach

Will be back soon, just got to finish something

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Shep
On 7/21/2019 at 5:25 PM, Amanda167 said:

Today's diary... 20/07/19

 

Awoke 8am but later in bed due to feeling depressed.

 

11pm. Valium 0.60 

11.30. Bad stomach/diarreah again.

12pm. Had breakfast/lunch

 

1am to 6am. Basically feeling horrific as usual. Very high intense emotions and feelings of hopelessness and despair.

Mainly flipped between watching YouTube, chores and feeling overwhelmed still.

 

6.30pm. Dinner

7pm. 4mg quetiapine 

7pm. 10mg Paxil 

7pm. 0.40mg valium

 

8.30pm. Zoplicone 3.75mg 

 

8.45pm. Drove to park to walk dog. 

 

12pm. Going to bed

 

18 hours ago, Amanda167 said:

22/07/19

 

10.25 am. Got up. Highly anxious, nausea and surprise,  an upset stomach.

11am. O.60 valium 

11.30. Made breakfast plus 1000mg krill and 350mg magnesium glycinate

12pm to 4pm. Stayed home doing bits and pieces, nausea calmed down.

4pm. Had some snacks.

4.15pm. Decided to go for my 2st daytime walk in a while which turned out a traumatic experience, having childhood flashbacks, came home sobbing my heart out 

6.30pm. Had dinner.

7pm. Took 0.40 valium 

7pm. 4mg quetiapine 

7pm. 10mg Paxil

7.15pm. Had bath, feeling very fearful and still traumatic by earlier walk.

8pm. Done household chores.

9pm. Walked dog

10pm. Took 375mg Zoplicone 

12pm going to bed.

 

I'm sorry, Amanda. I completely missed this second entry somehow. Thank you for copying and pasting it.

 

Questions:

 

1. Does your stomach bother you before you take the Valium or does it start after? Do you have any stomach problems after your evening drugs?

 

2. How many hours are you sleeping?

 

3. You mention wanting to be off the newer drugs first, which I completely understand, but if you were to come off the zopiclone, would you be able to relax in the evening and sleep?

 

4. Have you always taken Paxil in the evening? Prior to getting sick from reducing it, did it make you feel sleepy, energized, or have no effect at all?

 

I agree with Alto that you're getting interdose withdrawal from the zopiclone which is one reason your mornings are so bad, so her thoughts on removing it and increasing the Valium slightly may help with that, however, my fear is your sleep will get worse since the zopiclone seems to be helping settle you down in the evenings.

 

Another option would be to divide the Zoplicone and take half at night and half in the morning.

 

Please post your thoughts on this. Do you think you'll be able to sleep with a lower dose or without the zopiclone at all (but a larger amount of Valium)?

 

Please also work on sleep habits so you're not going to bed so late. You may be working against your natural sleep cycle. These threads may help:

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Also make sure you're eating high protein, low sugar meals and snacks throughout the day, as this will keep your blood sugar steady. Many people report drops in blood sugar during withdrawal and that can mimic withdrawal symptoms. Drinking plenty of water is also important. Eating a good, high protein, low sugar breakfast can help with the morning symptoms.

 

 

 

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Amanda167
1 hour ago, ten0275 said:

Hey @Amanda167,

 

I am sorry things are so difficult right now. I remember well when I was where you are now, and I understand how hopeless and endless things feel.


The whole process of withdrawal for me came from the seed of my parents not thinking I was adequate. They started me on medication in the early 80s when I was just a small boy (on the advice of the nuns at my school) because I wasn't "living up to expectations," and had a nervous and shy nature inherently. I was rarely accepted for who I was. Ironically, the process of withdrawal and all the pain it brought with it, taught me I was adequate and then some. It also taught me that much of the strength I thought I had before withdrawal, and while on the drugs for over three decades wasn't strength at all, but rather a very elaborate mask I'd constructed to protect myself from the past fear and feelings of inadequacy I'd developed. And even though I was in my mid-30s when withdrawal started, and even though the effects of withdrawal were so very apparent to all around me, my parents also did not accept what I was going through as legitimate.


You will most certainly get your life back. I made some very bad mistakes on doctor's orders early in withdrawal that were nearly cold-turkey in nature, and ultimately I reinstated one of those drugs, mirtazapine, and got my taper and symptoms under control, and pushed my way towards the drug-free state I am in now.


The weight will come back too. I had to do the math as I am in the states, but before withdrawal I weighed about 77kg and at the worst of withdrawal, I'd dropped to about 57kg. That was very frightening. Anxiety affects my stomach very directly, so I just did my best to get the calories in me that I could. And as the symptoms lowered, I was able to regain what I needed to feel healthy. In those early days, I woke every morning crying and vomiting and spent the entirety of those days trying to just hang on. That seems a distant memory now.


Dancing with your son is such a beautiful thing, such a poignant moment. My children were both very young when I was in the worst of withdrawal and I lived for those moments of normalcy, unbounded joy, and love. Those moments will grow and multiply as you heal.


@Shep and @Sassenach are awesome mods and I know they, and many others here will help see you through. I saw @Shep had recommended you read the post by Parker on "What is Happening in Your Brain." Have you had a chance to read it? If not, I second that recommendation. I was in very regular contact with Parker when she wrote that post and that post made so much sense to me, it gave me much strength to push forward because I felt I could better contextualize what had, and was, and would happen to me. It ultimately proved true.


It was hard for me to accept the equation that rejection-of-me-by-others did not, and should not, mean rejection-of-me-by-myself. That was something I had to come to grips with. And it sounds like from your description of dancing that you have a dance partner who most certainly does not reject you, but rather loves and cherishes you and those moments with you.


Take good care of yourself and hang in there.

 

Dave

Thank you such for sharing your story with me. I'm actually crying as I write.

 

It never fails to amaze me how children are so neglected and your story breaks my heart!

 

Let me congratulation you for being so strong and for being free of these poisons... especially for you who literally had no say at all. Children should never been giving these drugs whilst they are still in development,  makes me sad to the core.

 

I did read the Parker post quite some time ago and yes, it is a perfect description to what is happening to our brains... although I understand this, I'm still finding it incredibly difficult to accept and cope. I feel so traumatised by this whole experience and have been holding on with all my strength.

 

I wish the pain would stop and I could never imagine or wish anyone to ever go through this. It's incredibly isolating and the losses are great.

 

I've always been (still am somewhere) a happy,  positive,  laid back spiritual type of person who is a firm believer that we create our own reality.... I didn't choose this or why would anyone choose this... I often ask myself what is this teaching me? What do I have to learn???

 

I just want my life back so much and my boy is my everything,  my best friend and even though I have him, I'm not here... I'm heartbroken.

 

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story with me. You should be so proud of your strength and courage.. I'm always overwhelmed by the compassion of others especially when family and friends don't seem to help.

 

I wish to get to where you are

 

Have a lovely day x

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Amanda167
8 minutes ago, Shep said:

Does your stomach bother you before you take the Valium or does it start after? Do you have any stomach problems after your evening drugs?

Before. I awake with it

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Amanda167
9 minutes ago, Shep said:

How many hours are you sleeping?

 

Variable but usually about 5 to 6 hours then I awake regular until I get up

 

3. You mention wanting to be off the newer drugs first, which I completely understand, but if you were to come off the zopiclone, would you be able to relax in the evening and sleep?

 

I honestly don't know. I had only a few hours last night and can never sleep in the day no matter how tired I am.

 

9 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

4. Have you always taken Paxil in the evening? Prior to getting sick from reducing it, did it make you feel sleepy, energized, or have no effect at all?

Yes, always in evening but usually later like 11pm, I moved it back because I didnt want to take it with the zopiclone.

 

I'm very afraid of becoming dependant on the sleep med.

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Sassenach

We need to do a reset here Amanda.

The unfortunate part about withdrawal is we all think we are to blame for everything. We are not, you are not.

Your brain terrified you yesterday and then gave you a blissful 30 minutes.

Imagine that awesome brain power when you are fully in control of it, and you will be.

You saw a glimpse of the happiness ahead and you have so much to fight for.

We all believe we are the only ones suffering but every other person on here here has been there.

Many have got through and away, some including myself are still on the journey. I know I am going to beat it because I have seen and felt how good it can be.

I have always had a very warped sense of humour, but lost it. Now it is back and still warped, exactly as it was.

If I could wave a wand and make you better, I would ( BTW I am no fairy ).

However you have to do it the same way as the rest us, one day at a time, but you will not be alone.

I can't promise what tomorrow will bring but it will be one day nearer to getting your life back.

Have to careful hugging others but just for you🤗🤗🤗

Shep will be along later I think.

 

Sassenach

 

 

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Amanda167
15 minutes ago, Shep said:

agree with Alto that you're getting interdose withdrawal from the zopiclone which is one reason your mornings are so bad, so her thoughts on removing it and increasing the Valium slightly may help with that, however, my fear is your sleep will get worse since the zopiclone seems to be helping settle you down in the evenings.

 

Another option would be to divide the Zoplicone and take half at night and half in the morning.

 

Please post your thoughts on this. Do you think you'll be able to sleep with a lower dose or without the zopiclone at all (but a larger amount of Valium)?

I really don't wish to increase the valium as I believe I'm in WD from it and scared this may make things worse.

I do think the zopiclone has lost it's effect and put me into WD. I am happy to try half dose at 10pm.. would this require me to take the other half dose upon awakening?

 

With regards to sleep, yes, I should try and sleep earlier, it's usually the only time I feel a little better so I do most things late which keeps me up late 😓

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Amanda167
20 minutes ago, Shep said:

Also make sure you're eating high protein, low sugar meals and snacks throughout the day, as this will keep your blood sugar steady. Many people report drops in blood sugar during withdrawal and that can mimic withdrawal symptoms. Drinking plenty of water is also important. Eating a good, high protein, low sugar breakfast can help with the morning

I eat quite healthy 

I eat mostly organic foods,  no processed, no sugar, caffeine,  etc.

I need to drink more water. I distill my water.

My blood sugar levels came back high.. border diabetes which I can only put down to stress.

My periods have also stopped.. I'm so worried what this is doing to my health x

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Amanda167
16 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

We need to do a reset here Amanda.

The unfortunate part about withdrawal is we all think we are to blame for everything. We are not, you are not.

Your brain terrified you yesterday and then gave you a blissful 30 minutes.

Imagine that awesome brain power when you are fully in control of it, and you will be.

You saw a glimpse of the happiness ahead and you have so much to fight for.

We all believe we are the only ones suffering but every other person on here here has been there.

Many have got through and away, some including myself are still on the journey. I know I am going to beat it because I have seen and felt how good it can be.

I have always had a very warped sense of humour, but lost it. Now it is back and still warped, exactly as it was.

If I could wave a wand and make you better, I would ( BTW I am no fairy ).

However you have to do it the same way as the rest us, one day at a time, but you will not be alone.

I can't promise what tomorrow will bring but it will be one day nearer to getting your life back.

Have to careful hugging others but just for you🤗🤗🤗

Shep will be along later I think.

 

Sassenach

 

 

 

Thanks so beautiful. ❤

Thanks so much for your continued support.  Means the world to me.

 

I'm so sad that I've gone from 1 med to 4. That's what really hurts as I now have to get off those 1st.

 

Are you still tapering as well??

 

 

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Amanda167
1 hour ago, Shep said:

 

 

I'm sorry, Amanda. I completely missed this second entry somehow. Thank you for copying and pasting it.

 

Questions:

 

1. Does your stomach bother you before you take the Valium or does it start after? Do you have any stomach problems after your evening drugs?

 

2. How many hours are you sleeping?

 

3. You mention wanting to be off the newer drugs first, which I completely understand, but if you were to come off the zopiclone, would you be able to relax in the evening and sleep?

 

4. Have you always taken Paxil in the evening? Prior to getting sick from reducing it, did it make you feel sleepy, energized, or have no effect at all?

 

I agree with Alto that you're getting interdose withdrawal from the zopiclone which is one reason your mornings are so bad, so her thoughts on removing it and increasing the Valium slightly may help with that, however, my fear is your sleep will get worse since the zopiclone seems to be helping settle you down in the evenings.

 

Another option would be to divide the Zoplicone and take half at night and half in the morning.

 

Please post your thoughts on this. Do you think you'll be able to sleep with a lower dose or without the zopiclone at all (but a larger amount of Valium)?

 

Please also work on sleep habits so you're not going to bed so late. You may be working against your natural sleep cycle. These threads may help:

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Also make sure you're eating high protein, low sugar meals and snacks throughout the day, as this will keep your blood sugar steady. Many people report drops in blood sugar during withdrawal and that can mimic withdrawal symptoms. Drinking plenty of water is also important. Eating a good, high protein, low sugar breakfast can help with the morning symptoms.

 

 

 

Hi Shep

 

When does the pain stop?

 

I in so much physical and emotional pain... I can't do anything today.

My whole body is in severe discomfort. 

I want to Sleep but can't 

Won't be able to walk dog today.

Please tell me what I can do to stop the pain???

My head, back, arms, stomach, face... all in pain.. it's torture.

😭😭😭

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