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FleeingFluoxetine

The worst piece of advice I ever got...

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FleeingFluoxetine

I thought I would share this just to let other people here know that while friends and family can be well-meaning, most people have no idea what drug withdrawal is like. (I'm through 95% of the withdrawal now and things are looking really good, so hooray!)

 

About a month ago, towards the end of my Seroquel withdrawal depression when I was still having a hard time getting off the sofa and crying at everything from movies to songs to telling stories, my aunt sent me a message checking in. I told her "I'm still waiting for my brain to level off the meds. It's taking a long time and I'm very sad." 

 

She finally replied today: "This may sound insulting, but even a simple job at a restaurant. It would get you OUT, buddy. The truth hurts, but as your aunt, I want to let you know my feelings."

 

I think that forever the phrase "The truth hurts" will mean to me now "I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about."

 

And here's the rub: she's been on lithium for depression for forty years!

 

-FleeingFluoxetine

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TurkeyCold
5 hours ago, FleeingFluoxetine said:

even a simple job at a restaurant. It would get you OUT, buddy.

 

Well, in a literal sense she is right I think: A simple job at a restaurant would get you physically out of your place into a restaurant but definitely not out of a depression which is iatrogenic and drug-induced. She does not have the insight and the experience to help properly but - and that's important - she really feels and thinks like that. What helped and helps me dealing with such issues: Don't look for people's mistakes but for their truths.

 

Just the best for your last steps on this road ...

C.

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FleeingFluoxetine

Yeah. I mean her heart is in the right place and she’s trying to be helpful but it’s the complete lack of understanding. I can see how a job at a restaurant would help someone with a mild depression but for someone going through a drug withdrawal it couldn’t be worse advice. And it just guilts the person suffering, as if they can snap out of it. 

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powerback
25 minutes ago, FleeingFluoxetine said:

Yeah. I mean her heart is in the right place and she’s trying to be helpful but it’s the complete lack of understanding. I can see how a job at a restaurant would help someone with a mild depression but for someone going through a drug withdrawal it couldn’t be worse advice. And it just guilts the person suffering, as if they can snap out of it. 

Its like expecting a man to understand childbirth by just telling him,its impossible for your aunt to understand .I respect shes on lituim but thats the opissite of withdrawal.

 absolve yourself from trying to explain to her.your aunt is seeing your situation through her understanding ,this is why we have support groups for specific "illnesses".

You could be painting yourself into a corner by saying your 95% withdrawal cured.everyone around you will wonder whats up then.ide love %50 cured.

they don't have to know every single detail,this puts pressure on you.

I avoid everyone in my family because its getting ridiculous at this stage.

If I hear "you look great"once more ,I could scream.ile giving up washing myself and wearing clean clothes then to suit the narrative .

Be guarded In how much you say or forgive there ignorance ,but its hard I know that for sure.

Peace .

 

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TurkeyCold
1 hour ago, powerback said:

Its like expecting a man to understand childbirth by just telling him,its impossible for your aunt to understand .

I can remember how I dealt with the issues many woman have when it comes to their menstruation and the severe problems some of them have. I was totally incapable to understand what hormonal variations can be like, they where just invisible for me, and they would have been forever even if someone explained it to me day by day. Understanding sth. or sb. requires your will to understand it otherwise it's lost effort. I did not have that will and so do many people out there. It's just more comfortable to stay with old and firm patterns of thinking and explanation.

 

Furthermore, I can totally understand why you get triggered by such a statement. A former good friend of mine said to me at the beginning of my withdrawal (in it's most severe phase so far): "You make a victim out of yourself!" And even if there was sth. true in that statement since I didn't and couldn't take any action to improve my wellbeing these words made me furious, sometimes even months after so much they worked in me ... Now I have found my peace with those events.

 

An acquaintance said to me a few months ago - sharing one of the most important anchors in her life she told me: "Choose your battles."

And this is especially important in a phase of your life where your want to heal and you have to heal, and considering that this takes all your energy and effort it's important to choose one's mental battles in my opinion.

 

C.

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powerback
5 minutes ago, TurkeyCold said:

I can remember how I dealt with the issues many woman have when it comes to their menstruation and the severe problems some of them have. I was totally incapable to understand what hormonal variations can be like, they where just invisible for me, and they would have been forever even if someone explained it to me day by day. Understanding sth. or sb. requires your will to understand it otherwise it's lost effort. I did not have that will and so do many people out there. It's just more comfortable to stay with old and firm patterns of thinking and explanation.

 

Furthermore, I can totally understand why you get triggered by such a statement. A former good friend of mine said to me at the beginning of my withdrawal (in it's most severe phase so far): "You make a victim out of yourself!" And even if there was sth. true in that statement since I didn't and couldn't take any action to improve my wellbeing these words made me furious, sometimes even months after so much they worked in me ... Now I have found my peace with those events.

 

An acquaintance said to me a few months ago - sharing one of the most important anchors in her life she told me: "Choose your battles."

And this is especially important in a phase of your life where your want to heal and you have to heal, and considering that this takes all your energy and effort it's important to choose one's mental battles in my opinion.

 

C.

Hi TurkeyCold I must ad I am a man lol.i must write a book  collection of analogy's lol.ive lost count how many analogy's ive used to describe what ive been living with the last few years.

 

 An acquaintance said to me a few months ago - sharing one of the most important anchors in her life she told me: "Choose your battles."    Fair statement .

.Ive become a very cold person from what ive gone through [not on purpose] ,living this kind of madness makes you stunted to " normal" problems ,I actively put effort into listening to mundane issues that people come to me with  .im actually impatient also if someone comes to me with a problem ,I really need to bite my tongue.Others would just call me self-centred [maybe I am ].

Im hurting bad that's for sure .

Most people can only see an issue from there own perspective [rightly so I suppose ] but im finished going near anyone and the longer it goes on the more recluse I become . 

Sorry fleeingfluoxitene im waffling on your topic.

Take care TurkeyCold .

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Ryder
14 hours ago, FleeingFluoxetine said:

She finally replied today: "This may sound insulting, but even a simple job at a restaurant. It would get you OUT, buddy. The truth hurts, but as your aunt, I want to let you know my feelings." 

 

They are only doing this because they are, not because your family are evil bastards.

 

My mum brother and father say the same thing. I don't think i can work 10-hour days, but some days I do swimming for 2 hours of my day (Not swimming the entire time, but out of the house nontheless). It gets me out of the house and is something i can do.

 

Even though i am on a couple of medications, i am thinking of going back to work at my dads office for half a day, part-time (3-4 hours) to help fill the time.

 

It does help me to feel like i did something that day, as small as it is and that i achieved that.

 

 

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ChessieCat

I have found that volunteering has been good for me.  It gives me a purpose and a routine.  I started with one day and gradually increased and am now doing 3.

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Ryder

That's very good Ches. Keep it up

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