Danalee13: Lexapro / escitalopram taper

[manymoretodays]

Hi Danalee,

Do you have one doctor who prescribes for you?  I'm feeling concerned, as you state, you just don't care, and thank you for letting us know on using the clonazepam too.

Please consider, that some of what you are experiencing now, may well be side effects of the benzo's.  My first go to site for drug information is often, once again, Drugs.com  You can use the top box there to just look at individual medications/drugs.  And then the interaction checker is great, as well.  And then from there, I often check some other sites, that I have gotten familiar with for further information.  How did you taper off your benzo(s) before and how long ago?  Was that when you started the Lexapro?

 

 And, yes, some of your symptoms may be related to Lexapro/escitalopram WD as well.

 

I think that yes, things like dating, and general life stuff can be difficult, for sure, both on these medications/drugs and in WD.  Many of us, myself included, find we have to find new ways of dealing with some of our own basic stuff, that was present before we began psychiatric care, or even now days GP care, that offers a pill for every ill.  And it's a process, no overnight life overhauls.........  And I'm really pretty content overall, with my own personal journey, to date.  Oh, the many things, and people I've found along the way.......my beliefs, myself.  Still journeying, so to speak. 

 

Are you getting around the site and finding some of the general information?  I know I've given you the link to Lexapro/escitalopram tapering above.  I'll put some basics, that I usually give, as far as links go, in my next post, for you to take a look at.  All in one place and post.  I hope that helps.

 

I've gone over the daily notes format above as well.  Could you give those a try?  No disrespect meant here.  It's really helpful though, for us, to see those, in that format. 

On 7/14/2019 at 12:25 PM, Altostrata said:

Hello, Danalee.

 

 

You might have become a little hypomanic after you made those decreases. Hypomania is a withdrawal symptom. Although it does feel exhilarating, it's a red flag, it can progress to really uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms.

 

I suspect your random attacks of anxiety are not related to the 5mg Lexapro but to your prior benzo dosage wearing off -- it's called rebound anxiety. Benzos are diabolical that way. Let's see your daily notes, we'll be able to identify if this is what's going on. It doesn't mean you have to quit the benzo, but it may mean you manage your dosing differently.

 

18 hours ago, Danalee13 said:

So my daily routine is this. Wake up: always wake up BEYOND tired. I’m not sure if that is because I go to bed late, take the lex at night, or take benzos at night sometimes. Anyway 

 

then eat. I always wake up starving.  Even in the throws of withdrawal * I know I am at a bad point when I don’t get hungry for lunch or dinner *. And I am already 100 lbs to begin with. But I make sure to eat about 600 calories for breakfast every day. 

This beyond tired could certainly be due to the benzo's at night sometimes.  I think once we see some of those daily notes, it will be whole lot easier, to help you manage your dosing of your medications/drugs.

 

Good, good on a healthy breakfast!  If you find yourself skipping meals, sometimes grazing(eating small healthy snacks) at more frequent intervals, works.  If 100 lbs is your norm, just work to maintain that.  Any time for even gentle exercise or daily walks?

 

And oh......tough stuff, relationship issues, and high pressure job.  (((((Danalee))))  And then, we've got a lot collected on non-drug coping skills.  In the first post, there is a whole indexed list of things that you might choose from.  Good to find and get in place some practices, to help you through, now.    And the support here, as well, can be great too!  So many going through the same kind of experiences.  Of course it's tough, when you don't feel like your usual "chill" self.  We've got a term for that too,  neuroemotions, often emotions get so enhanced during WD, and not always the emotions we wish we were feeling.

 

Okay, next post, more links. 

And give it your best try on those daily's.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Edited July 17, 2019 by manymoretodays

[manymoretodays]

 

*Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

*Tips for tapering off Lexapro

 

Brain Remodelling

What is withdrawal syndrome

The windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

Dr.Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur. And sleep is really important during withdrawal.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system.

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

[pattypan]

I recently switched to taking in the AM and can drag myself out of bed a little easier... 

[Altostrata]

Danalee, please post daily notes in this format

On 7/13/2019 at 9:16 PM, manymoretodays said:

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

 

This is essential when someone's taking multiple drugs.

[Danalee13]

On 7/16/2019 at 2:42 PM, pattypan said:

hi @Danalee13
Let's be taper buddies! 
I am also tapering off of Lexapro- I was on 30mg for 4.5 years and dropped down to 20 mg in May without any problems then dropped down to 15mg July 1 and felt TERRIBLE for 2 weeks- this groups support ( and a little tough love) convinced me to bump back up to 20mg and i feel like a functioning human again. If you feel bad I hope you will feel empowered to updose a smidge and know that its not forever. 
I am super type A ( OCD)- and i had outlined and highlighted my day planner with all my changes and an end date in site( i originally thought February) but that will not be the case. 
To be honest I think it was previous tapers ( done with medical advice or on my own) that were WAY too fast that ended up increasing my anxiety level to the episode that put me back on drugs ( i have been on and off these meds for ~23 years...)
Anyway- I just wanted to say Hi and that you are surrounded by legit caring people who have truly been to hell and back... you will make it through this!

welcome. 

Hi @pattypan!!! Yes let’s be taper buddies! And all who are reading I want to give an update on how I am feeling and where I am at right now. 

 

Patty - what dosage are you at right now? Or wait, are you off?  I do agree this site is amazing. 

 

So - after my doctor prescribed me ACTUAL 5 mg lexapro tablets i was so happy because I knew I’d be taking a consistent dosage, waiting to stabilize on the 5 mg. I have been on the straight 5 mg for maybe over one week now. Or exactly one week. I would have to look when I picked it up at CVS. I believe 7 days though. 

 

When first posting on here I had extreme moments of panic that would come and go. I am not feeling that any longer.  I am feeling much more stabilized with a lot less anxiety. My issue with the benzos is that I consistently take my Valium, yes. But when I was having those panics I would take some Xanax as well. 

 

I do not feel the need to take the Xanax any longer. That’s how I know I’m more stabilized than before. I don’t feel MUCH rebound anxiety from the days of taking Xanax, at least not yet?  It has been 5 days or so of feeling good. 

 

A bit of appetite loss for about 3 days. I always feel that during stabilization. But had my appetite today! 

 

so I take my lexapro at night. I always thought it made me drowsy because I can never wake up. So I was always scared to take it during the day if it were to knock me out. I have a ton of trouble waking up if I take the lexapro too late I notice. I’ve noticed this for awhile. But I do also stay up late for no reason. 

 

I am completely exhausted from work. I have a bipolar boss. I am her assistant. And what she does really effects me. She will turn on me when I’ve done nothing. So that definitely effects me to the point where I have almost quit. Multiple times. This happened today. I cried for the first time in a few months. 

 

She definitely is not helping this taper. I can’t mention it because in December when she knew I was coming down from 20 to 10. She used it against me in insults. So she thinks I’m off it by now and probably forgot. She has some sort of dementia as well.  Anyway. She isn’t helping this process. I’m mentally exhausted mostly. But work does take my mind off any anxiety (when she’s not driving me crazy) because I am so busy.

 

so for right now- I’m doing OKAY. Me being down is more related to work than the taper. How is everyone else doing?! Happy Tuesday. 

[Danalee13]

@manymoretodays hi! Sorry I have not been on. Work has been crazy. I just posted back to patty so you can see some updates. Yes I have a doctor that prescribes me. 

 

I had already been on the lexapro when I came off of benzos about 4.5 years ago. Started lexapro about 6 years ago. I experienced a lot of college anxiety.  The Benzo taper was easy. I did it slowly. It wasn’t like this at all. I barely felt it.  It took me 6 months to come off around 15 mg Valium. Then I was alright. I didn’t feel anything when I jumped off. I was Benzo free for all those years until I started this lexapro taper. 

 

I know my benzo use - which is sporadic and not always at the same time of day - could be giving me anxiety. Though I do have to admit when I have stabilized previously on lexapro, and then taken less benzos. I have felt fine - with not much anxiety. Maybe because I always have the baseline of the Valium.  Right now I am just taking my Valium because my anxiety has been better. 

 

Right now my symptoms, I’m just tired from work and life. I think taking the full 5 Mg pill dosage really helped a lot. The benzos oddly don’t effect me even close to what it feels like coming off the lexapro when I’m in the throws. 

 

I will do a daily tomorrow for y’all. Still working for the night.  Haven’t needed benzos and have felt better in a non panicky way which im

glad about. Boy issues still there but I can’t deal with those right now eek. All in all, honestly this past weekend since Thursday til now I have felt pretty good beside few things mentioned with work. 

 

Thanks for all the support, promise I’ll do a daily as soon as I can. 

[Danalee13]

On 7/17/2019 at 11:38 AM, pattypan said:

I recently switched to taking in the AM and can drag myself out of bed a little easier... 

No way!! Really!? So maybe I’ll be less drowsy taking it in AM. I would like that. Even if I don’t take a Benzo I sleep through alarms. It’s weird. 

[Danalee13]

On 7/17/2019 at 11:23 AM, manymoretodays said:

mbers report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous sys

Oh that’s great because I do take omega 3 and sometimes a bit of magnesium. But that’s it!  Sorry catching up on everything now.  Thanks guys 

[Dejavu]

Danalee, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. You may have a few waves while you stabilize. If so, dont let them get you down. It's all part of the process.

 

I just want to caution you about changing the time of your escitalopram dose. If you decide to do that, please do it gradually, moving your dose forward 1 hour each day to avoid any added problems.

[Danalee13]

Hi @PatriciaVP ahhhh. I don’t know what to do. Some people say it makes them drowsy. Some say - since they switched to the morning that they can wake up a bit easier. Are you on or were on lexapro specifically? Or a different anti- depressant?

 

thank you for sharing  my anxiety gets better every day. My overall mood today was great. Only thing I have is a damn headache.  Am going to post an update in a bit 

 

thanks again for responding in this thread. I’ve been having a hard time in waves eek. Currently, this second. Feeling good

[Danalee13]

On 7/16/2019 at 2:42 PM, pattypan said:

hi @Danalee13
Let's be taper buddies! 
I am also tapering off of Lexapro- I was on 30mg for 4.5 years and dropped down to 20 mg in May without any problems then dropped down to 15mg July 1 and felt TERRIBLE for 2 weeks- this groups support ( and a little tough love) convinced me to bump back up to 20mg and i feel like a functioning human again. If you feel bad I hope you will feel empowered to updose a smidge and know that its not forever. 
I am super type A ( OCD)- and i had outlined and highlighted my day planner with all my changes and an end date in site( i originally thought February) but that will not be the case. 
To be honest I think it was previous tapers ( done with medical advice or on my own) that were WAY too fast that ended up increasing my anxiety level to the episode that put me back on drugs ( i have been on and off these meds for ~23 years...)
Anyway- I just wanted to say Hi and that you are surrounded by legit caring people who have truly been to hell and back... you will make it through this!

welcome. 

 

@pattypan hi again! Also wanted to let you know - I’m not or wasn’t rather against updosing. I definitely went down way too fast and it was stupid of me.  BUT at the time of writing, versus now.  I feel a ton better.  

 

I never ended  up updosing.  In fact, what I believe is helping me is that my doctor prescribed me 5 mg whole lexapros. So now I finally know the exact amount is actually five. 

 

At the time of writing i felt utter panic many times throughout the day. It has been about 3 weeks now that I feel much much much better. 

 

So so happy I didn’t uprdose because I really do feel myself on the up and up. But I am going to stay on 5 mg for a looooong while. As long as I feel comfortable because I basically came from 10 mg to 5 mg in about.... 2 months. Maybe less. Way too fast. 

 

I had been feeling great and was just basically saying to myself I don’t care! I don’t want to be on this anymore! But that drop to 5 mg really put me in a bad spot. I’m so happy I’m feeling better now. I have to read your signature but what mg are you at right now .?

 

thanks love happy Thursday 

[Danalee13]

On 7/24/2019 at 12:31 AM, Dejavu said:

Danalee, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. You may have a few waves while you stabilize. If so, dont let them get you down. It's all part of the process.

 

I just want to caution you about changing the time of your escitalopram dose. If you decide to do that, please do it gradually, moving your dose forward 1 hour each day to avoid any added problems.

Hi @Dejavu! So I usually take my lexapro around 10 or 11 PM. Last night I took it at 9 PM. Should I take it at 8 PM tonight? I don’t know what to do. Few people on here seeing it messed their whole day up but others saying it was better when switched to morning.

 

 

guys I really don’t know what to do.  I am feeling great today. Really do feel the stabilization getting there. But will remain on 5 mg for awhile. The difference I feel is insane from when I first posted here. So much better.  Work is also better. I am on a bus out to the Hamptons for work. Which makes me much happier. In general I am happy!! The only consistent feeling I’ve had that’s a bit new is lethargy.  I used to drink green drinks every day and that would really change my mood. Uplift me.  I stopped drinking them for about a month. I started again last 3 days and feel fantastic.  What about lethargy? Anyone else feel this? Because I am so tired! 

 

Anyway as I was saying. No overdosage of benzos. Not at night last night. STILL CANNOT AWAKEN.  IT KILLS ME!!! Is it the lexapro that’s screwing me up?!?! I can’t wake up for the life of me. So I’m not sure what to do. Next post I’m going to do a daily 

[Danalee13]

My daily today: 

* note - it was a good day though. I’ll do another outlining a bad day. 

 

7:40 am: wake up by somebody because once again sleeping through my alarm as I do every day. I cannot physically wake up ever from the loudest alarm clock. No benzos late at night last night either. 

*back to bed. So damn drowsy. Don’t even notice I’m being woken up. This happens every morning.m. Almost every morning. 

 

8:40 am. Woke up again and ran around trying to get ready for work. Chugged coffee. Wake up starving always.  So tired if I didn’t have coffee I wouldn’t be able to function or use toilet. 

 

9: 40 am. Usual anxiety comes in. Not panic like it was when I started. It’s okay. The usual anxiety after coffee. But it’s a catch 22 because I wouldn’t be able to wake up without it. 

 

10 am: take 5 mg Valium. As per usual.  Every day 

 

11 am: hectic day. Felt like the 5 mg wasn’t enough for my anxiety. Though I was not panicky. Took my second 5 mg Valium. Now I feel okay and on with my day. 

 

* day was great. Feeling great. Had to drive a few hours for my boss and felt great whole day. 

 

4 pm: still no anxiety kicking in. Still feeling great. Bit of a headache because I didn’t have time to eat a proper meal. 

 

4 pm: lethargy starts to kick in as it has for the last 5 days. Since Monday - less anxiety. More lethargy now during the second half of day. 

 

* during panic mode when first posting on here I would have taken another bit of Benzo by now but haven’t had to. Too tired and feel stabilization  and happy. 

 

Currently. 6 PM: still have a headache. On the bus to Hamptons. Very tired.  

_____

so it has been about 1 week, maybe 10 days that my Benzo use has decreased just to my normal amount. I’d say a decrease of about 50 percent Benzo usage. @manymoretodays my point with bringing this up is that I haven’t felt rebound anxiety.  I never do with the benzos.l honestly. Not that I want to be on any but I’m happy that I am because I physically would never be coming off this lexapro without them. I actually thought at one point I’d never ever be able to come off of the lexapro. So this is a big deal for me that I am on 5 mg from 20 mg. Surreal really it is. One day I just said. I’m doing it. 

 

Damn I can’t get rid of this headache and I am soooo tired :(! Better than panic though. Hope everyone is doing well. I understand this comes in waves. Yesterday I felt apathetic about life. But I care the most about the panics. So I am gettting different waves of different feelings still. 

 

Thank you all 

[Danalee13]

On 7/16/2019 at 6:04 PM, PatriciaVP said:

You had wanted to know what time of day people took the Lexapro. My med provider told me that it can make you drowsy so I've been taking it at night for years. I now think he was full of malarkey. 

 

I tried changing to the morning,  but it caused really bad symptoms so I went back. 

Oh Also! Meant to ask - what symptoms did you feel by switching to morning? Thank you!

[PatriciaVP]

4 hours ago, Danalee13 said:

Hi @PatriciaVP ahhhh. I don’t know what to do. Some people say it makes them drowsy. Some say - since they switched to the morning that they can wake up a bit easier. Are you on or were on lexapro specifically? Or a different anti- depressant?

 

thank you for sharing  my anxiety gets better every day. My overall mood today was great. Only thing I have is a damn headache.  Am going to post an update in a bit 

 

thanks again for responding in this thread. I’ve been having a hard time in waves eek. Currently, this second. Feeling good

Yes, I  am on Lexapro.

1 hour ago, Danalee13 said:

Oh Also! Meant to ask - what symptoms did you feel by switching to morning? Thank you!

It was a while ago so I don't remember exactly. I think I was extremely anxious and agitated. I never tried gradually working to an earlier time. Now that you mention waking up easier, I'm wondering if it would be worth a try.  Mornings are still so hard even after all this time. 

 

Glad you're feeling a bit better. Hold onto these moments as proof of your healing. 😊

[Danalee13]

@PatriciaVP so you take it right when you wake up? If you don’t mind me asking - what mg are you on currently. I’m at 5 mg but like I stated in intro went entirely too fast to 5 mg. But im

feeling good now actually.  But that may only be because I use benzos. I’m not strong enough to do it without. I don’t condone that for anyone else. It should be done without, for sure. 

 

I just physically would have given up and I feel weak because of that.  So I have succumbed to the fact that I’ll do my Benzo taper after. So maybe the only reason I’m having an easier time than most is because of that. Which is almost like a “false” easier time. You know?

 

i didn’t have any other options. It was come off the lexapro and use benzos.  Or don’t come off at all. 

 

Do you smoke cannabis? I was a big Cannabis smoker for years and quit right when I started my lex taper. Just wondering, because quitting cannabis changed my life taper wise. I would be having a much harder time if I still used cannabis like I used to. So it’s been about 8 months cannabis free.  Which I never thought I’d be able to do either. But I would never go back. I all of a sudden have a strong distaste towards it as I come down lower. I never would even take a hit.  Definitely coming down the lexapro cleared my brain up a lot. 

 

So all in all - just one tapered to another - do you feel more clear headed like I do? Even though you suffer as well?  It’s great while at the same time suffering before stabilization of dose. 

 

I lost i about 20 pounds since the start of the taper. But I also don’t have my small intestine (long story-freak accident). So I always wonder if this is Just my weight and if lexapro put weight on me while I was on it. Hopefully I’ll gain pounds back upon full stabilization on the 5 mg. I’m not there yet. 

[pattypan]

@Danalee13

SO glad you are feeling better! and I totally understand NOT wanting to updose ( I wish i hadn't but am glad I did!)
I was on 30mg for a little over 4.5 years and am now at 20mg- I dropped from 30 to 20 and had no issues but 20 to 15 was really miserable so went back up to 20 last month and plan to stay for another few days and then drop to 17.5 ( not 10% taper so of course i don't recommend but i am going to see how i feel and if i feel poorly will go back up to 20mg.)
I am 35 days off Benzos ( was taking .25 Klonopin 4-5 nights/week for around 7 months) I have a few symptoms that are either from AD withdrawal or Benzo withdrawal. 
Yesterday was VERY weird for me. I was SO tired. SO tired that on my lunch break- i closed my door- rolled out my yoga mat and fell into a DEEEP sleep for at least 30 minutes. I continued to feel realllly sleepy all afternoon and got in bed by 8pm. i tossed and turned until 1130- no screens on, no tv, no lights- normal bedtime ( and i typically sleep okay). 
io hope it isn't insomnia kicking in... I HAVE to have good sleep! 

Happy Friday!

[Danalee13]

3 hours ago, pattypan said:

@Danalee13

SO glad you are feeling better! and I totally understand NOT wanting to updose ( I wish i hadn't but am glad I did!)
I was on 30mg for a little over 4.5 years and am now at 20mg- I dropped from 30 to 20 and had no issues but 20 to 15 was really miserable so went back up to 20 last month and plan to stay for another few days and then drop to 17.5 ( not 10% taper so of course i don't recommend but i am going to see how i feel and if i feel poorly will go back up to 20mg.)
I am 35 days off Benzos ( was taking .25 Klonopin 4-5 nights/week for around 7 months) I have a few symptoms that are either from AD withdrawal or Benzo withdrawal. 
Yesterday was VERY weird for me. I was SO tired. SO tired that on my lunch break- i closed my door- rolled out my yoga mat and fell into a DEEEP sleep for at least 30 minutes. I continued to feel realllly sleepy all afternoon and got in bed by 8pm. i tossed and turned until 1130- no screens on, no tv, no lights- normal bedtime ( and i typically sleep okay). 
io hope it isn't insomnia kicking in... I HAVE to have good sleep! 

Happy Friday!

 

Omg hi @pattypan!!  I think for you it was probably a good idea to updose I assume because of the even higher dosage than I. I started on 20 mg. We both of course went Way too fast and are paying for it. Funny (well not funny but) I just tagged you in another post I wrote two minutes ago saying - I recently started to experience , for the first time , extremeeeeee lethargy. Since Tuesday. Anxiety levels are good. I’m happy. No depression. Appetite is OKAY. But now the lethargy. Holy g-d. Right now lethargic is an understatement. I woke up feeling like I got hit by a bus and I had s clogged nose.  I feel better than that now - but now I’m just lethargic. Since Tuesday every day around 2-3 PM and onwards I feel extremely lethargic. 

 

Crazy how the symptoms are so different week to week. It’s okay though. I’ll take lethargy over major panic ANY day. 

 

I hope youre feeling a bit better today. How are you feeling so far? I never put a timeline on my drops. I’m just going to drop when I feel normal on this 5 mg dosage. It may take months but if I put a timeline I wouldn’t be doing the right thing. It very well may take months for me to feel normal as I dropped so fast from the ten tabs to just cutting it in half. 

 

Hipe youre feeling okay today and a bit better. I am going to make a black tea  XX 

[Gridley]

1 hour ago, Danalee13 said:

But now the lethargy.

 

Severe fatigue / tiredness / lethargy / lethargic - Symptoms and self ...

Also Google "SurvivingAntidepressants.org. lethargy"

[PatriciaVP]

4 hours ago, Danalee13 said:

And by *wasnt hit by a truck* I mean WAS hit by a truck. And I didn’t drink!

 

worst feeling. Also clogged nose when I woke up. Couldn’t breathe. Very odd morning that I haven’t experienced yet in this wave of a taper. Anyone else feel this ever? It has now subsided, thank g-d. I feel good now. Normal, happy, no anxiety.  

 

Oh another thing - it is odd how it does come in waves. The different symptoms.  Example: first there was panic. All day panic. Which was when I had posted on this site. That ended and changed into tiny anxiety issues which are manageable without extra Benzo dosage. Just my usual dosage of Valium. 

*then there are days of appetite loss. Though I do wake up starving every day. So in morning I try to get most of my calories in. 

And NOW I just started feeling (as of this past Tuesday) the symptom of **** lethargy **** that I can’t seem to kick. Extreme lethargy that I usually do not get. 

 

I would love some others input on this. Has anybody else experienced this lethargy feeling? 

@PatriciaVP @ChessieCat @pattypan @manymoretodays? Anybody? @Dejavu extreme lethargy that is pretty damn annoying!

OMG! The lethargy! What I wouldn't give for some energy! I do a crossfit type workout several days a week,but if I have something planned, I often have to skip it. It helps with the anxiety, but it often wipes me out. Today I just worked on my website for an hour and after all I wanted to do was sleep.

 

A few years ago I discovered something called Spoon Theory which is a very ingenious way of conceptualizing the limited energy that most people with chronic illnesses (make no mistake withdrawal is a chronic illness visited upon us by "professionals") have to navigate through any given day. We don't have the unlimited supply of energy that most healthy people do when they wake up in the morning. Some day we may again but for now we must keep our "spoons" close, use them wisely and refuse to feel guilty for hoarding them. 

17 hours ago, Danalee13 said:

@PatriciaVP so you take it right when you wake up? If you don’t mind me asking - what mg are you on currently. I’m at 5 mg but like I stated in intro went entirely too fast to 5 mg. But im

feeling good now actually.  But that may only be because I use benzos. I’m not strong enough to do it without. I don’t condone that for anyone else. It should be done without, for sure. 

 

I just physically would have given up and I feel weak because of that.  So I have succumbed to the fact that I’ll do my Benzo taper after. So maybe the only reason I’m having an easier time than most is because of that. Which is almost like a “false” easier time. You know?

 

i didn’t have any other options. It was come off the lexapro and use benzos.  Or don’t come off at all. 

 

Do you smoke cannabis? I was a big Cannabis smoker for years and quit right when I started my lex taper. Just wondering, because quitting cannabis changed my life taper wise. I would be having a much harder time if I still used cannabis like I used to. So it’s been about 8 months cannabis free.  Which I never thought I’d be able to do either. But I would never go back. I all of a sudden have a strong distaste towards it as I come down lower. I never would even take a hit.  Definitely coming down the lexapro cleared my brain up a lot. 

 

So all in all - just one tapered to another - do you feel more clear headed like I do? Even though you suffer as well?  It’s great while at the same time suffering before stabilization of dose. 

 

I lost i about 20 pounds since the start of the taper. But I also don’t have my small intestine (long story-freak accident). So I always wonder if this is Just my weight and if lexapro put weight on me while I was on it. Hopefully I’ll gain pounds back upon full stabilization on the 5 mg. I’m not there yet. 

I am currently taking my lexapro at night before I go to bed. When I experimented with taking it in the morning a year or so ago I took it first thing in the morning, but that lasted less than a week.

 

I've never smoked cannabis. Before I started these drugs, I was always hesitant about ingesting anything that could alter my brain. I thought prescription drugs were safer and couldn't do harm. Ha! Ha! Joke's on  me! Now, I think cannabis may even be less dangerous than the stuff I'm stuck putting in my body every day. If I could go back to before  I started the drugs with the knowledge I have now, perhaps I would choose a little weed instead. I won't be trying it while I am withdrawing, however, my CNS is too messed up.

 

I am so much better now that I am lower on the drug. Less angry, more clear-headed, more awake to the world in general. My relationships have improved exponentially. As painful as this ha been I would never go back. I was sleepwalking through life for so long.

 

Peace, Love and Healing!

[manymoretodays]

On 7/17/2019 at 8:15 PM, Altostrata said:

 

On 7/25/2019 at 4:11 PM, Danalee13 said:

My daily today: 

* note - it was a good day though. I’ll do another outlining a bad day. 

 

7:40 am: wake up by somebody because once again sleeping through my alarm as I do every day. I cannot physically wake up ever from the loudest alarm clock. No benzos late at night last night either. 

*back to bed. So damn drowsy. Don’t even notice I’m being woken up. This happens every morning.m. Almost every morning. 

 

8:40 am. Woke up again and ran around trying to get ready for work. Chugged coffee. Wake up starving always.  So tired if I didn’t have coffee I wouldn’t be able to function or use toilet. 

 

9: 40 am. Usual anxiety comes in. Not panic like it was when I started. It’s okay. The usual anxiety after coffee. But it’s a catch 22 because I wouldn’t be able to wake up without it. 

 

10 am: take 5 mg Valium. As per usual.  Every day 

 

11 am: hectic day. Felt like the 5 mg wasn’t enough for my anxiety. Though I was not panicky. Took my second 5 mg Valium. Now I feel okay and on with my day. 

 

* day was great. Feeling great. Had to drive a few hours for my boss and felt great whole day. 

 

4 pm: still no anxiety kicking in. Still feeling great. Bit of a headache because I didn’t have time to eat a proper meal. 

 

4 pm: lethargy starts to kick in as it has for the last 5 days. Since Monday - less anxiety. More lethargy now during the second half of day. 

 

* during panic mode when first posting on here I would have taken another bit of Benzo by now but haven’t had to. Too tired and feel stabilization  and happy. 

 

Currently. 6 PM: still have a headache. On the bus to Hamptons. Very tired.  

_____

so it has been about 1 week, maybe 10 days that my Benzo use has decreased just to my normal amount. I’d say a decrease of about 50 percent Benzo usage. @manymoretodays my point with bringing this up is that I haven’t felt rebound anxiety.  I never do with the benzos.l honestly. Not that I want to be on any but I’m happy that I am because I physically would never be coming off this lexapro without them. I actually thought at one point I’d never ever be able to come off of the lexapro. So this is a big deal for me that I am on 5 mg from 20 mg. Surreal really it is. One day I just said. I’m doing it. 

 

Damn I can’t get rid of this headache and I am soooo tired :(! Better than panic though. Hope everyone is doing well. I understand this comes in waves. Yesterday I felt apathetic about life. But I care the most about the panics. So I am gettting different waves of different feelings still. 

 

Thank you all 

analee, please post daily notes in this format

 

This is essential when someone's taking multiple drugs.

 

Hi Danalee,

Forgive the odd quote that came through.  Okay, so I see one days worth of a good effort on notes here.  With some additional narrative.  And woah.  You just decreased your benzo intake 50%???  That's good then.......on the no rebound anxiety.  I did not ever take much, in the way of benzo's.  As for me, 2 days worth of low dose benzo.......would result in me being a complete tranquilized couch potato.  I wasn't safe to drive either.   So my own history with meds/drugs only included maybe 2 occaisions, of one or two days worth of a benzo.  Plenty of other el yucko drugs thrown at me though.  Or prescribed, over the years.

 

Sounds like you are getting some lethargy too.  Might be more due to the benzo's than Lexapro WD.  I don't know for sure Danalee.

 

I'm doing well.

 

Danalee,

So next up.  If you can get a simple format of notes done and then post.  That would be great.  Going forward, I think you could benefit with getting some regular pattern to your Valium dosing.  Valium has a long half life.  I'm finding it at 20 to 100 hours, the half life.  Which means, that, in the long run, you can probably get by, comfortably with daily dosing.

And it can take a bit for medications to reach that nice steady state.  Like having it at an even level in your body.

So......I noticed you took 5 mg of Valium at 10 am, and then repeated it after an hour.  That could actually sort of mess up, your achieving a nice steady state.  I mean, in general, when medications/drugs are taken at varying times and dosages.....it can be like a dose change, almost.  And should be treated as such.

 

And we also have a benzo forum.  If you scroll down the Home Page, when signed in you'll see it.  If you'd like you could start a introduction there too.  I know you just want to get after the Lexapro now and that's fine.  Just thought I would let you know.

 

So......The basic format, simple.  I'm going to post it again even.  You could do narrative, further descriptions in separate posts, from your note posts.  I just can save us so much time and help us out to see these, like this.  Thank you.

(sample, simple note)

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

 

Best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited July 28, 2019 by manymoretodays
none

[Danalee13]

On 7/26/2019 at 8:30 AM, pattypan said:

@Danalee13

SO glad you are feeling better! and I totally understand NOT wanting to updose ( I wish i hadn't but am glad I did!)
I was on 30mg for a little over 4.5 years and am now at 20mg- I dropped from 30 to 20 and had no issues but 20 to 15 was really miserable so went back up to 20 last month and plan to stay for another few days and then drop to 17.5 ( not 10% taper so of course i don't recommend but i am going to see how i feel and if i feel poorly will go back up to 20mg.)
I am 35 days off Benzos ( was taking .25 Klonopin 4-5 nights/week for around 7 months) I have a few symptoms that are either from AD withdrawal or Benzo withdrawal. 
Yesterday was VERY weird for me. I was SO tired. SO tired that on my lunch break- i closed my door- rolled out my yoga mat and fell into a DEEEP sleep for at least 30 minutes. I continued to feel realllly sleepy all afternoon and got in bed by 8pm. i tossed and turned until 1130- no screens on, no tv, no lights- normal bedtime ( and i typically sleep okay). 
io hope it isn't insomnia kicking in... I HAVE to have good sleep! 

Happy Friday!

 

Hi @manymoretodays ! So when I meant decrease by 50 percent. The extra 50

percent I had been taking had been sporadically for panics. The aprazolam. So I stopped those because I feel as though they are not necessary right now where I am at. I stopped that about 2 weeks ago. And I was okay. I don’t feel lethargic today! A huge relief! or anxious at all. So for right now today - so far. I am doing well.  After today I will make my notes like that! 

 

Yesterday I also felt my appetite back and today as well. So hungry! 

 

So, so far, today: feeling great. 

 

So to your response on the Valium dosaging- I always take it around 10 am. But sometimes I only take 5 mg. But then some days like I said, an hour later, I’ll take another 5 mg. 

 

So wondering if I should keep tight just on 5 moving forward in the morning - or 10? Since most of the days I actually do end up taking a second. 

 

Im not sure what to do on that front. So daily dosage is 10 mg Valium. Split up 5 and 5. What do you think?

[manymoretodays]

Hi Danalee,

.......and I love the spoon theory analogy that Patricia VP shared!  Sunday, sunday today, and I figure I have enough spoons, as I often like to go with being a bit less structured and disciplined, on Sundays. (and okay.....ha ha, as I keep trying, but I'm not all that on any day..... flexible is good!!)

 

And a good day then Danalee, that's wonderful! 

Okay, so we know Valium has that nice long half life.  I checked, and it also has an average time to peak plasma of about an hour to an hour and one half.  That's just when it tends to be at it's highest concentration in your body. 

So that makes me think, well you might do okay with that 5 mg dose of diazepam.  Do you follow?  That maybe 2 hours after you take it you'll feel fine and won't have a need for the second dose at all.

 

But then I don't know how long you have been taking it this way already, taking the second dose an hour after the first.

Daily symptoms and drug notes!  Oh they are so helpful.

I'm not seeing your Lexapro/escitalopram in your first attempt at all, in your posted notes.  I'm thinking it was taken after 6pm.

So again, notes please!

Simple format.

Elaboration on stuff, you can post separately.

 

If 5 mg of diazepam is usual for you at 10am, if I were you, I'd stick with that going forward.  You'll have less to taper from when that day comes, AND it's that much less of a drug burden to your body too!

 

Can you do the interactions check at Drugs.com for your current medications too.  And then copy and paste, right here, in your introduction.  Give it it's own post.  We've got some of the CYP450 (Cytochrome P450 liver metabolism) to stay aware of, with your present drug combination.  I'm kind of feeling good now, that you take your Lexapro at night now, due to this.

 

So......more notes needed Danalee.  And.......  I'm going with suggesting you stick with the 5 mg diazepam, at your usual time.  If you can, do your best with non 'drug coping, while waiting an hour longer perhaps, before you take that second dose.  Do you follow my logic here?  If you can do just fine with 5 mg/day, that would be super.

And I don't know, it's possible too, that you are still adjusting too, to the cannabis WD type stuff.  I know, in retrospect that it was part of it all for me.  It took over a year to see some improvement, with me, after that usage.  And I'm not saying it was all bad.  That WD.  It just took time and patience with myself.

 

So yah......overall.  Yay!  You are catching on.  And thank you for offering up support to other members already.  May the force be with you!! 

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Edited July 28, 2019 by manymoretodays
minor grammar, additional

[mdwstrx]

Hi Danelee. 

 

Thanks so much for your encouragement on my thread!!!  It's very, very appreciated.  I'm so sorry that you're having big issues with anxiety.  It can be a bear but it helps me to know that it's wd and not permanent.  I know it can be debilitating none the less. I'm afraid I can't offer a lot of insight since benzos can muddy the waters of SSRI wd.  I believe that  @Frogie is def the better person to discuss it with given her experience.  

 

Being retired, I can tune out and veg through wd symptoms, if needed.  But I am still taking it baby steps to minimize the awful symptoms, even though tapering will take a while.  But a while will pass anyway so we might as well make the best use of that time, right. 🙂

 

Remember, it's not taking the drug that is the problem.  It's removing it.  When I realized what this drug actually had done to me, I got scared and wanted to stop it right away.  Of course, that's when the problems begin to occur.  I had to face that the drug changed my brain and I have to let it slowly change back.  My suggestions are to consider what I'm doing; checking each step of the way with the mods as you taper down.  Find wd normal (what I'm looking for presently) and hold each taper until wd normal returns.  Even if that means a hold for months.  After my first month on the BM slide and tapering 10.22%, I had to hold for two months before I felt well enough to try again.

 

You asked me what the BM slide is.  It's the taper program named after BrassMonkey (BM) which is 4 weekly cuts (not exceeding a total of 10% for the month) followed by a two week hold instead of doing one monthly 10% (or less) cut.  The mods can explain more.

 

This community is a godsend and if we listen to the mods, and proceed very carefully, I have faith we can get off these poisons and heal.  Prayers for us all that it is so.  🙏

[Danalee13]

On 7/26/2019 at 4:28 PM, PatriciaVP said:

I've never smoked cannabis. Before I started these drugs, I was always hesitant about ingesting anything that could alter my brain. I thought prescription drugs were safer and couldn't do harm. Ha! Ha! Joke's on  me! Now, I think cannabis may even be less dangerous than the stuff I'm stuck putting in my body every day. If I could go back to before  I started the drugs with the knowledge I have now, perhaps I would choose a little weed instead. I won't be trying it while I am withdrawing, however, my CNS is too messed up.

 

I 100 percent do not suggest trying cannabis during the taper at least. that was the reason i quit - it was giving me major paranoia, and actually in the end i feel much better off of cannabis despite going through all of this. today was a very bad day and i'm about to post about it but i wanted to address that at least in my experience, using cannabis during taper was absolutely terrible. not sure if it works for some people.

 

also all the years i used cannabis i was in a brain fog - also from the lexapro i assume - in general, i feel like a different person coming off the lexapro and being clean from cannabis for almost 8 months. i do know cannabis can do wonders for some people, maybe not while you taper though! 

[Danalee13]

On 7/28/2019 at 12:14 PM, manymoretodays said:

Hi Danalee,

.......and I love the spoon theory analogy that Patricia VP shared!  Sunday, sunday today, and I figure I have enough spoons, as I often like to go with being a bit less structured and disciplined, on Sundays. (and okay.....ha ha, as I keep trying, but I'm not all that on any day..... flexible is good!!)

 

And a good day then Danalee, that's wonderful! 

Okay, so we know Valium has that nice long half life.  I checked, and it also has an average time to peak plasma of about an hour to an hour and one half.  That's just when it tends to be at it's highest concentration in your body. 

So that makes me think, well you might do okay with that 5 mg dose of diazepam.  Do you follow?  That maybe 2 hours after you take it you'll feel fine and won't have a need for the second dose at all.

 

But then I don't know how long you have been taking it this way already, taking the second dose an hour after the first.

Daily symptoms and drug notes!  Oh they are so helpful.

I'm not seeing your Lexapro/escitalopram in your first attempt at all, in your posted notes.  I'm thinking it was taken after 6pm.

So again, notes please!

Simple format.

Elaboration on stuff, you can post separately.

 

If 5 mg of diazepam is usual for you at 10am, if I were you, I'd stick with that going forward.  You'll have less to taper from when that day comes, AND it's that much less of a drug burden to your body too!

 

Can you do the interactions check at Drugs.com for your current medications too.  And then copy and paste, right here, in your introduction.  Give it it's own post.  We've got some of the CYP450 (Cytochrome P450 liver metabolism) to stay aware of, with your present drug combination.  I'm kind of feeling good now, that you take your Lexapro at night now, due to this.

 

So......more notes needed Danalee.  And.......  I'm going with suggesting you stick with the 5 mg diazepam, at your usual time.  If you can, do your best with non 'drug coping, while waiting an hour longer perhaps, before you take that second dose.  Do you follow my logic here?  If you can do just fine with 5 mg/day, that would be super.

And I don't know, it's possible too, that you are still adjusting too, to the cannabis WD type stuff.  I know, in retrospect that it was part of it all for me.  It took over a year to see some improvement, with me, after that usage.  And I'm not saying it was all bad.  That WD.  It just took time and patience with myself.

 

So yah......overall.  Yay!  You are catching on.  And thank you for offering up support to other members already.  May the force be with you!! 

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

yes, i definitely follow. when i had recently been posting about how my panics had gotten better - but then the lethargy started... jokes on me because you are so right about this coming in waves. (on the days i don't have panics - which had not been since my last one maybe on july 9 or so - i would be okay with 5 mg valium. so yes, will try and stick).

 

Though, i literally had the worst day today. panic was  unusually high. i need sleep. i feel so lethargic. i had to take the day off work, 5 mg didn't make a dent. I tried to cope for awhile without taking, but could not. one of the worst panics. right now I am so damn tired - and I got an okay amount of sleep. It almost feels like I cannot have a job going through this...but I know I am just having a bad day today. Horrible, just damn horrible. Panic feeling is gone. today went a bit like this.

 

7:30 AM - wake up feeling like crap, took off work

*went back to bed

9:30 AM - woke up, so tired

*worked from home*

11:00 AM - even more lethargic than when i woke up

*didn't even drink coffee like I usually do

12:00 PM - extreme panic, could not even write an email

1:00 PM - panic got worse, felt so weak

2:00 PM - took 5 mg valium

2:30 PM - took another 5 mg valium

4:00 PM - feel OKAY finally, but still do not feel normal. tired

7:30 P (now): tired and anxious, not that bad of anxiety, all at same time

 

*and yes, i take my lexapro around 9 PM or 10 PM every night. Today was one of the worst.

[Danalee13]

besides working out - i can't afford to lose anymore weight that i already have - does anybody have any suggestions for this lethargy I am experiencing?

 

I literally cannot perform at work. This is so bad. Note* i am eating the same amount as I usually did before taper but i lost weight once i started the taper.

I just ordered soylent for an extra 400 cals a day. I eat a lot of almond butters to pack on fat but i lost about 15 pounds in total.

 

so workng out, i really can't lose anymore weight.. and i also don't have time or want to work out. so does anyone have other suggestions for this lethargy? this is terrible!

[ChessieCat]

57 minutes ago, Danalee13 said:

also all the years i used cannabis i was in a brain fog - also from the lexapro i assume - in general, i feel like a different person coming off the lexapro and being clean from cannabis for almost 8 months.

 

Something I would like to suggest is that you find a counsellor and learn non drug skills to cope with life in general.  Life skills to cope with the curve balls that can happen to anyone.  I'm 61 and have only really learned these skills in the last 5 years and really wish that I had been taught them as I was growing up.  And I'm fairly certain that there would be many other members who might have benefited from them rather than going on psychiatric drugs.

[Danalee13]

If anyone felt lethargy - how long would you say it lasted? Ugh 

[Danalee13]

20 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Something I would like to suggest is that you find a counsellor and learn non drug skills to cope with life in general.  Life skills to cope with the curve balls that can happen to anyone.  I'm 61 and have only really learned these skills in the last 5 years and really wish that I had been taught them as I was growing up.  And I'm fairly certain that there would be many other members who might have benefited from them rather than going on psychiatric drugs.

I agree with you on this - the non drug coping skills. I have been coping with drugs since 21 and I am just sick of it and want off. lethargy in morning was absolutely horrible. It kicked at around 11:30 AM and I felt good all day. Now i just have a bit of a stomach ache, could be anything though. 

 

xxx

[manymoretodays]

Hi Danalee,

Yes, I had some of the lethargy.  Certainly more pronounced, early on, in WD.   Off and on.  I always liked it better than the alternative........the cortisol spikes and things.

 

It's been weird though, as for me, taking a day off now........thinking I need rest and all, usually backfires.  I wind up feeling worse.   So, just finding I do much better with keeping to regular schedules and all.  With some grace given.......meaning I'm not too hard on myself, if I do meander off to smell the roses every once in awhile.

 

On your weight.  Now might be a great time to just eat, eat.  Puddings?  I wound up using ensure early on, as well as doing my own blender concoctions of various things.  I just did not have much appetite.  And also got to my lowest weight and got worried.  So I had to work it, as to making sure I got decent nutrition.   You know, eating out helped me, eating with others more often.  Sitting down to eat.  That sort of thing.  

Can you relate the tummy ache to anything eaten prior to?

 

Hope today is a good one.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[Altostrata]

On 7/29/2019 at 4:34 PM, Danalee13 said:

yes, i definitely follow. when i had recently been posting about how my panics had gotten better - but then the lethargy started... jokes on me because you are so right about this coming in waves. (on the days i don't have panics - which had not been since my last one maybe on july 9 or so - i would be okay with 5 mg valium. so yes, will try and stick).

 

Though, i literally had the worst day today. panic was  unusually high. i need sleep. i feel so lethargic. i had to take the day off work, 5 mg didn't make a dent. I tried to cope for awhile without taking, but could not. one of the worst panics. right now I am so damn tired - and I got an okay amount of sleep. It almost feels like I cannot have a job going through this...but I know I am just having a bad day today. Horrible, just damn horrible. Panic feeling is gone. today went a bit like this.

 

7:30 AM - wake up feeling like crap, took off work

*went back to bed

9:30 AM - woke up, so tired

*worked from home*

11:00 AM - even more lethargic than when i woke up

*didn't even drink coffee like I usually do

12:00 PM - extreme panic, could not even write an email

1:00 PM - panic got worse, felt so weak

2:00 PM - took 5 mg valium

2:30 PM - took another 5 mg valium

4:00 PM - feel OKAY finally, but still do not feel normal. tired

7:30 P (now): tired and anxious, not that bad of anxiety, all at same time

 

*and yes, i take my lexapro around 9 PM or 10 PM every night. Today was one of the worst.

 

Hi, Danalee. What would be most helpful is your posting at least 24 hours of notes at a time.

 

Your inconsistent dosing of Valium may be leading to your "panic attacks." Benzos are diabolical drugs, when the level of the drug fluctuates in your bloodstream, you can get rebound anxiety or panic when it dips. It's also possible you are getting paradoxical reactions when the blood level peaks.

 

Keeping track of your Valium intake is crucial. You need to get your Valium schedule evened out. Please start a topic here and discuss this with Shep.

 

On 7/30/2019 at 6:40 AM, Danalee13 said:

If anyone felt lethargy - how long would you say it lasted? Ugh 

 

Lethargy is a very common side effect of benzos and indicates you are taking too much benzo.

[Danalee13]

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Hi, Danalee. What would be most helpful is your posting at least 24 hours of notes at a time.

 

Your inconsistent dosing of Valium may be leading to your "panic attacks." Benzos are diabolical drugs, when the level of the drug fluctuates in your bloodstream, you can get rebound anxiety or panic when it dips. It's also possible you are getting paradoxical reactions when the blood level peaks.

 

Keeping track of your Valium intake is crucial. You need to get your Valium schedule evened out. Please start a topic here and discuss this with Shep.

 

 

Lethargy is a very common side effect of benzos and indicates you are taking too much benzo.

 

hi alto!

 

yes, i started to do so and have felt a lot better. So today I had absolutely no withdrawal symptoms, yet. Hooray. So happy i did not feel lethargic. The days i start to freak out about "how am i going to do this and keep working" - I have to remind myself, I actually feel better WHILE i'm working.  Say 10 days im working - 9 days I'll feel okay and 1 day I'll feel off. Say there are 4 days I'm NOT working - 3 days I will have worse withdrawal symptoms.  For me, having a job is crucial - even on days that I am feeling horrible. And I have to remember that and push through!

[manymoretodays]

Hi Danalee.  I did not notice,  at first,   that you switched your diazepam timing, to 5 pm, on the 29th.  That's a big change from 10am.  Thank goodness for additional eyes, mods, and Alto.  And yes.....get going over on the Benzo forum.  Just start an introduction like you did here.              L, P, H, and G.  mmt

[Danalee13]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Danalee.  I did not notice,  at first,   that you switched your diazepam timing, to 5 pm, on the 29th.  That's a big change from 10am.  Thank goodness for additional eyes, mods, and Alto.  And yes.....get going over on the Benzo forum.  Just start an introduction like you did here.              L, P, H, and G.  mmt

The issue is truly that if I wake up lethargic and feel I don’t need Valium yet, I don’t want to take it. But I do agree it is better to be on a timely schedule. That particular day I was beyond tired and had to drive about 2 hours so was a bit worried taking a Valium also having insane lethargy at the same time. 

 

So its hard to know what to do. My job does require a lot of driving. I didn’t feel lethargic today. Thank god. I think I am stabilizing a bit on the 5 mg. Since June 14 I have been on 5 mg. But I do think stabilization is semi near as that wake up anxiety feeling hasn’t been coming too often. Actually in a week or two!! Beside a day or so. The morning cortisol effect people discuss. Is that just a surge of anxiety and rapid heart rate?

[Danalee13]

Hey guys. So here is the issue yes. @Altostrata I want to be stable on when I am taking my diazepam dosage. - but my morning anxiety does feel better in general as ever since i got the 5 mg tablets prescribed from my doctor, i think everything started to become a bit smooth. I had the initial panic, then lethargy which i told you guys about, and now the anxiety is a lot better and is coming in waves pattern.

 

But because i came down so fast to 5 mg - I am going to stay on it for a wee bit longer than I normally would. and get the benzo timing thing under control.

 

Because here is the issue of today as well - 

I ate a ton of sugar last night. I have lost a ton of weight since the start of this taper, and i'm already skinny to begin with, so i'm really trying to put some weight on. I weight around 91 lbs. I have always been thing but not this thin. But i also have short gut syndrome, so if i remember correctly, before going on lexapro, i was always thin . but my weight does have to stabilize out. 

anyhow - i don't really like sugar, but i'm forcing myself to eat high calorie things to gain some weight, so i ate too much sugar again last night and today i woke up feeling like i literally got hit by a bus. UGH. Not lethargic feeling, but literally like a sugar hangover once again. i Keep getting those when i eat sugar. 

 

So, i could never take a benzo right now because i'm already trying to kick the sugar hangover out and wake up. you know what I mean? So maybe i switch the timing all together and since i feel like im stabilizing ish i switch it to later on around 4 PM. I'll see when i feel i need to take the benzo today.

 

But do you see how I couldn;t take it right now? I'm struggling to stay awake so i wouldn't want to take it now.

any thoughts?