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BfromNJ

Need advice please

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BfromNJ

I'm supposed to go on a cruise next week.  And I cannot get the enthusiasm up for it.  I just dont feel it.   I do not feel well at all.  My symptoms are terrible with my legs, tremors, anxiety, fatigue, dizzyness, etc.  I just do not know if its my best interest.  I feel so unstable now.  the noise, the people, etc.  This is my favorite place in the world, i love bermuda.  but im so scared ill have problems once im on the ship and there is no turning back.   I know i should try and get on with my life while doing this, but i also feel like i need to be careful now.   

 

part of the reason why Im going is just so that my boyfriend doesnt get angry with me.  but i know thats not a good reason.  He doesnt understand anything im going through so to him it will be all about the money he is out (we do have insurance, he will get a majority of it back).  hes going give me  alot of crap about waiting till now, etc etc because he doesnt understand that ive just started to feel really awful.   i couldnt predict this.  

 

What do you all think?  do i go and hope i have no issues?  Im afraid to risk it and end up with more problems.   


 9/2018- lexapro for 5 days - was low- dose rigid muscles

11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days, starting dose is.intrusive thoughts

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20 mg 

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days,  Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - t buspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 fast

2/15/19 - inpatient .2/17-abilify, topamax given.  next day changed

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg, 6/5 -545 mg ,8/21  494 mg , 9/30 444mg, 11/14 399 mg, 12/10- 360 mg, 1/21-342 mg, 2/11- 324 mg (current)

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg 

2/20- luvox (generic) 25 mg, 4/6- 18.75 mg (current)

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BfromNJ

I think Anhedonia may also be playing a part in all this.  I hope to hear from anyone who may have been in  a similar situation as to what you needed up deciding to do.  I am so conflicted.


 9/2018- lexapro for 5 days - was low- dose rigid muscles

11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days, starting dose is.intrusive thoughts

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20 mg 

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days,  Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - t buspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 fast

2/15/19 - inpatient .2/17-abilify, topamax given.  next day changed

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg, 6/5 -545 mg ,8/21  494 mg , 9/30 444mg, 11/14 399 mg, 12/10- 360 mg, 1/21-342 mg, 2/11- 324 mg (current)

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg 

2/20- luvox (generic) 25 mg, 4/6- 18.75 mg (current)

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MRothbard

What problems could you not handle while being on the ship?


September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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BfromNJ
39 minutes ago, MRothbard said:

What problems could you not handle while being on the ship?

You know what I calmed down and did think about it more.  I was concerned of anxiety and anhedonia.   Also issues with lost feelings for my boyfriend,  whom I'm going with (i think emotional numbing).   Also the dizzyness and dp/dr that comes on .   But it may be just what I need - some sun and relaxation. (spa).  


 9/2018- lexapro for 5 days - was low- dose rigid muscles

11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days, starting dose is.intrusive thoughts

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20 mg 

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days,  Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - t buspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 fast

2/15/19 - inpatient .2/17-abilify, topamax given.  next day changed

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg, 6/5 -545 mg ,8/21  494 mg , 9/30 444mg, 11/14 399 mg, 12/10- 360 mg, 1/21-342 mg, 2/11- 324 mg (current)

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg 

2/20- luvox (generic) 25 mg, 4/6- 18.75 mg (current)

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Nelly

My initial thought was go, you will be fine and you can rest. As you say, the spa will help you feel better. Then I read about your boyfriend and I thought no don’t go. If you do then ask your boyfriend to be understanding. If you are scared, then don’t go and don’t look back. 

I recall that in 2017 I planned and booked and paid for a trip to India; booked hotels, guide, internal flights, arranged visa  etc. The night before I was due to fly I took my dog to the kennels. Walking away from her I broke down. I drove home and contacted the kennels, they wouldn’t let me collect her until the morning. In the morning I collected her and went to stay with a friend. I had absolutely no regrets. It was the right thing to do for me at the time. 

Make your decision. Once you have you will feel better. Thinking of you x


Approx 1984 to present date prescribed various ADs consistently. 1995 approx-present Thyroxine 100 mcgrms. 19 Feb2019 stopped venlafaxine 150mg cold turkey. 

06 March 2019 restarted venlafaxine 150mg 10 beads.

04 April 2019 9 beads. 02 May 2019 8 beads 01 July 2019 7 beads. 29 July started using magnesium oil spray before bed 31 July 2019 started natures best fish oil 1300mg 01 Aug 2019 stopped fish oil 1000mgs 06 Aug 2019 Magnesium citrate 100mg .18 Aug 2019 reduced to 6 beads .11 Aug 2019 increased fish oil to 2,600 mg. 8 Sept 2019 increased magnesium citrate 200mg. 22 Sept  2019 reduced magnesium citrate to 100mg. 24 Sept 2019 reduced venlafaxine to 5 & half beads. 25th Sept increased fish oil to 3900mg . 11 October reduced venlafaxine to 5 tablets 

14 October stopped fish oil. 16 October stopped magnesium & started taking lemon balm infused in water with ginger & lemon.

 

 

 

 

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BfromNJ
17 minutes ago, Nelly said:

My initial thought was go, you will be fine and you can rest. As you say, the spa will help you feel better. Then I read about your boyfriend and I thought no don’t go. If you do then ask your boyfriend to be understanding. If you are scared, then don’t go and don’t look back. 

I recall that in 2017 I planned and booked and paid for a trip to India; booked hotels, guide, internal flights, arranged visa  etc. The night before I was due to fly I took my dog to the kennels. Walking away from her I broke down. I drove home and contacted the kennels, they wouldn’t let me collect her until the morning. In the morning I collected her and went to stay with a friend. I had absolutely no regrets. It was the right thing to do for me at the time. 

Make your decision. Once you have you will feel better. Thinking of you x

Thank you Nelly.  I think I'm gonna go.  I love bermuda (when I'm not emotionally numb from meds) so maybe it will be therapeutic.    I hear ya about the dog.  Leaving mine is the worst part.  


 9/2018- lexapro for 5 days - was low- dose rigid muscles

11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days, starting dose is.intrusive thoughts

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20 mg 

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days,  Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - t buspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 fast

2/15/19 - inpatient .2/17-abilify, topamax given.  next day changed

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg, 6/5 -545 mg ,8/21  494 mg , 9/30 444mg, 11/14 399 mg, 12/10- 360 mg, 1/21-342 mg, 2/11- 324 mg (current)

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg 

2/20- luvox (generic) 25 mg, 4/6- 18.75 mg (current)

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MRothbard

right on. Have fun! or a least soak up some sun. it's good for you.

This may not apply to you but I've noticed that when I'm in a wave for some reason my brain can't accept that I just feel bad, it tries to blame the bad feeling on some circumstance in my life, like my job. Your feelings maybe  coloring how you feel about your boyfriend. Or maybe not, but something to consider.


September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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BfromNJ

Well the last few days my symptoms have been very bothersome and difficult to live with.  I am panicing now about going.  I just do not feel well at all.  Im scared to go and i the same time dont want to stay home.   boy do i need a sign.  if i dont decide something now my boyfriend will not forgive me.  We have insurance, he will get 75% back of my ticket.   i hate this.  my life feels ruined by meds.  


 9/2018- lexapro for 5 days - was low- dose rigid muscles

11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days, starting dose is.intrusive thoughts

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20 mg 

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days,  Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - t buspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 fast

2/15/19 - inpatient .2/17-abilify, topamax given.  next day changed

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg, 6/5 -545 mg ,8/21  494 mg , 9/30 444mg, 11/14 399 mg, 12/10- 360 mg, 1/21-342 mg, 2/11- 324 mg (current)

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg 

2/20- luvox (generic) 25 mg, 4/6- 18.75 mg (current)

Share this post


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LD35
On 7/13/2019 at 2:47 PM, BfromNJ said:

Well the last few days my symptoms have been very bothersome and difficult to live with.  I am panicing now about going.  I just do not feel well at all.  Im scared to go and i the same time dont want to stay home.   boy do i need a sign.  if i dont decide something now my boyfriend will not forgive me.  We have insurance, he will get 75% back of my ticket.   i hate this.  my life feels ruined by meds.  

 

I know that feeling with bothersome symptons difficult to live with :( I read an article a while ago which explained withdrawal symtoms often come and go in waves. For me it's a psychological roller coaster, I try to think positive when I feel better, but I'm completely down when my symptoms are worse, and it feels like they never going to go away, and I feel scared. 

 

Of course I can't tell you if you should go or not. It could be a good thing if you can go and shift focus from your symptoms, but at the same time, when my symptoms is really bad I can't do anything. 

 

You wrote "part of the reason why Im going is just so that my boyfriend doesnt get angry with me." Have you explained the situtuation? If yes he should understand, and if you can't go he take care of you instead.


2019  Sertraline a couple of weeks

 

Withdrawal History: 

 

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