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Hey @Guilietta, have gotten up and moving, reading your posts. You are always so encouraging on my thread, thank you so very much.

 

I second what has already been said, sorry I don't have anything new but I think the most important thing is NOT to make any radical changes right now. Packing up/ moving away etc. would be super stressful, as would trying to find a job. I would honestly keep plodding on whilst in the grips of WD/ a wave. I do empathise because my mind also keeps tricking me into wanting to radically change my work situation. It's just never really a good idea to make sweeping changes at these times.

 

The slightly -indigestible -at -times fact of the matter is that changing externals drastically isn't going to speed the process up any. It's the plodding on that's going to really help.  (Unless you're in a situation where death is imminent, of course, that would be the caveat.)

 

Oh gosh re. your dog. That's a tough one. Pets can give us an understanding that sometimes humans just can't so I'd hold on thinking about that, too.

 

Am pretty sure these thoughts and restlessness are caused by chemical chaos at the moment.....you've reinstated beads.......PLUS you had a tiring day yesterday. That can wreak havoc.

Sending you a BIG hug xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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On 11/7/2019 at 2:14 PM, Guilietta said:

Thursday update - thanks for listening.

 

This seems to have been a bad week off and on since last Wednesday afternoon's elevated anxiett and palpitations started. Thnak you for your kind words. We all seem to be surfing - unfortunately my coastal waters are about 30 F. 😎

 

 

 

 Just read this properly. Sorry you've had a stinker of a week. Hoping better days are coming for us all xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thinking of you G, hope your Sunday has a good moment or two or dozen in it. Hugs! (if you like hugs)

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Hello @Rhiannon  and @Gridley

 

Thank you both again for your words of advice and encouragement. I will reread and also PM @Gridley about my little boy.

 

I need advice please on converting from lamotrigine ER to immediate release (original formula), which I take for seizure control.  @Rhiannon I see you have a ton of knowledge on lamotrigine from reading your posts (though I don't understand many of them)  on the Tips for Tapering Lamotrigine topic.  My med change is forced by insurance coverage (ER not covered in 2020).

 

@Gridley I know you have worked to cross-taper your ativan with the changed generics if I need to cross-taper between ER and IR   perhaps  you might have any comments to make.

 

Immediate release lower trough levels are associated with reduced seizure control. Is this due to half life? How can I compensate with dosing?

 

A few questions - and I don't know what I'm overlooking:

  • Should I cross taper? (i.e., take a combination of ER and IR before full conversion to IR)
  • If cross taper - over what period of time and by what dose?  When do I take the doses?
  • What should my dose schedule be to get 600 mg a day for the optimum seizure control?

Currently I take 600 mg ER at 6 p.m. In addition - if it matters here - I take gabapentin 300 - 300 -400 mg @ 7 a.m, 1 p.m. and 8 or 9 pm. Clonazepam is .5 mg @ 7 a.m. and 1.5 mg @ 8 or 9 pm.

 

IR tablet dosages for immediate release: 25, 100, 150 and 200.

 

I  meet with her tomorrow but won't make any decisions until after communicating with you or or other expert. :) 

 

Thanks and big hugs,

Giulietta

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17 minutes ago, Guilietta said:

 

Immediate release lower trough levels are associated with reduced seizure control. Is this due to half life? How can I compensate with dosing?

I'm sorry, I don't know the answers to any of your questions.  Maybe Rhiannon does.  In any case, I'm going to bring your post to the attention of the other mods.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Thanks @Gridley

 

I started reading more about lamotrigine - recommendations for going from XR to IR - and there is nothing. With half lives, dosage distributions, I haven't a clue. I don't know if I should plan to take lorazepam during this transition either.  I know I did when transitioning from a tegretol analogue to lamotrigine IR - but that was b/c it was a cross taper. 

 

G.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 minutes ago, Guilietta said:

I don't know if I should plan to take lorazepam

I wouldn't recommend adding another drug to your cocktail.  Also, we recommend only one change at a time.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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1 minute ago, Gridley said:

I wouldn't recommend adding another drug to your cocktail

 

I quite agree. I don't know if the topic would come up as an option for control. I have used ativan on an emergency/prn basis.

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I'm definitely not an expert on lamotrigine. Are you taking it for seizure control? If so, you should follow your physician's and/or pharmacist's advice on how to transition, I don't know anything about anti-seizure medications and how their kinetics affect their function.

 

If not for seizure control, just as a "mood stabilizer," I don't think you need to be too alarmed or concerned about the transition. It has a half life of 29 hours and reaches peak plasma concentration after 3 hours so if you split the daily dose into two parts and take them about 12 hours apart you should have good coverage with no interdose withdrawal problems.

 

But if it's for seizure control, your doctor should be knowledgeable about that, and pharmacists too. I think studies have been done on that. It's just withdrawal they are clueless about, as far as I can tell.

 

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Hello @Rhiannon

 

Thank you very much for your helpful (and informative) response even if they are for mood management - not specifically for seizure management (why I take this med).

 

Although the neurologist (and I) will take next steps on this - you and other SA moderators have provided me with indispensable and accurate advice on med management.  Thank you once again.

 

I saw only one study that indnicated that lower troughs with the IR correlate with lower seizure threshold (pubmed article) - which is why I was transitioned to ER in 2015.

 

We'll see what the doc says. Unfortunately there have been miscalculations of previous attempts to reduce my dosage (i.e, 600 to 550 over a few days....). Same for gabapentin (1000 mg a day).

 

4 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

I don't know anything about anti-seizure medications and how their kinetics affect their function.

 

Really excellent point about the mechanism/kinetics for seizure control. I had not considered that.

 

Hugs to you. Hope work is going well and you have more staff onboard. 🤗

Giilietta xxxx ooo

 

Will update you

 

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19 hours ago, Guilietta said:

Thanks @Gridley

 

I started reading more about lamotrigine - recommendations for going from XR to IR - and there is nothing. With half lives, dosage distributions, I haven't a clue. I don't know if I should plan to take lorazepam during this transition either.  I know I did when transitioning from a tegretol analogue to lamotrigine IR - but that was b/c it was a cross taper. 

 

G.

 

Guilietta, I'm just catching up with this question. Has 600mg lamotrigine XR been effective for seizure control? Why do you want to reduce it at this time, rather than any of the other drugs you're taking? What times of day do you take your drugs, at what dosages?

 

I see you have been reporting palpitations. We need to see the daily symptom pattern for context of any new symptoms.

 

As you have just substituted duloxetine beads for that liquid, and it seems you might need to make adjustments for that, I don't understand why you would want to fiddle with lamotrigine, especially if you're taking it for seizures.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks, Alto, for your response.

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Has 600mg lamotrigine XR been effective for seizure control?

 

Yes - but with breakthrough auras - worse in times of anxiety.

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Why do you want to reduce it at this time, rather than any of the other drugs you're taking?

 

I do not want  (attempt to) reduce lamotrigine (or other meds) at this time - until duloxetine taper is complete. The reduction (or taper off  clonazepam first) was meant as a questison. Sorry if it is misleading. Stability is everything with seizure control but I am on high dosages of all these meds and would like to cut back if I can.

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

What times of day do you take your drugs, at what dosages?

 

7 a.m.: gabapentin 300 mg, duloxetine .4 mg (2 beads), lisinopril 2.5 mg, crestor 10 mg, clonazepam .25 mg

1 p.m.:

gabapentin 300 mg

6 p.m.: lamotrigine ER 600 mg

8/9 p.m.:

gabapentin 300 mg, clonazepam .75 mg

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

I see you have been reporting palpitations. We need to see the daily symptom pattern for context of any new symptoms.

 

Will do. I need to do this later after re-reviewing logs.

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

I don't understand why you would want to fiddle with lamotrigine, especially if you're taking it for seizures.

 

My insurance will no longer cover ER (generic) as of January 1, 2020. I can't afford it ($2100 a month generic) so I need to convert to IR. 

 

I may be able to postpone this to March as I have about 3 to 4 months' worth.

 

Thanks again for your help. I know you're really busy.

Giulietta

 

 

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22 hours ago, Guilietta said:

My med change is forced by insurance coverage (ER not covered in 2020).

 

Hi G.,

Medicare?  If it was me,  I'd work with the doctor who prescribes this drug, and Medicare/Medicare Advantage to get an "exception".  Page 91, Medicare and you publication.  Good that you have enough until March.

Same goes if you are still carrying private health insurance.  Hoping that as long as your doctor is on board, the one who prescribes this for your seizure control, you should not have any problem.

I would not recommend postponing.  You may have to wait until 2020 January, however,  to have the doctors office start faxing the need for a drug that is no longer on the formulary for 2020.  I don't know.

Just let them all know it is medically needed.  No one is going to want to risk you having seizures.   Or making unnecessary drug changes.

Also, a great time to make friends with the office staff who can help with all this, once your doctor writes the letter of necessity.  This is your neurologist I presume.  

 

Best,

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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44 minutes ago, Guilietta said:

My insurance will no longer cover ER (generic) as of January 1, 2020. I can't afford it ($2100 a month generic) so I need to convert to IR. 

 

What does your neurologist say about this? Can he or she petition the drug company?

 

If you must make this change, consult your neurologist. The IR form is usually taken more than once a day. You don't need a liquid, you can take IR tablets.

 

While you make this change in lamotrigine, DO NOT make any other drug changes.

 

I would not count on reducing lamotrigine any time soon. If you want to reduce your drug burden, I'd work on the rest of your cocktail, the part that isn't medically necessary. You still need to get stabilized from the duloxetine adventure.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks to you both @Altostrata and @manymoretodays.

 

By way of a brief response to your posts tonight - I met with neurologist about my situation with ER .   MD did not express any interest in proactively keeping me on ER.

 

Tomorrow I will respond to your thoughtful posts and my next steps to get ER if possible. I cannot think clearly about this tonight.

 

Best wishes,

Guilietta

 

 

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Hi G, thinking of you.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Hello @manymoretodays

 

On 11/11/2019 at 2:46 PM, manymoretodays said:

Medicare/Medicare Advantage to get an "exception"

 

I exhausted the exception possibilities today with Medicare and other part D insurers in my state. The ER formula isn't covered by most of them.  

 

On 11/11/2019 at 3:10 PM, Altostrata said:

What does your neurologist say about this? Can he or she petition the drug company?

 

The neurologist has been informed and did not offer to petition the drug company or make other suggestions.  I am following up with GSK's patience assistance program (thanks for the idea!),  my state rep and Epilepsy Foundation tomorrow.

 

The neurologist plans to switch me to immediate release formula twice a day in March. The conversion plan is not to take place until after the duloxetine taper is finished. I may be able to refill the script in December - in which case the conversion could be pushed back. 

 

@Altostrata  approximately how long is recommended to wait between completing the taper and converting to the lamotrigine IR?

 

Thanks to you both,

 

Giulietta

 

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Hello @manymoretodays

 

Some time back you asked me about the transition to lamotrigine. I answered you incorrectly at the time  - sorry about that.

 

I found my progress notes from 2014 when I started lamotrigine. Although discerning dosages of the multiple drugs involved is daunting and beyond me -   I was cross-tapered from tegretol to lamotrigine and lamotrigine ER over a few months. I was also on gabapentin at the same time.  It was a bit of bumpy ride.

 

Like gabapentin, it was a bummer of a drug to start.

 

Giulietta

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Hi @Guilietta, how are u? , I hope u are well.

Iam very sorry for not writing to you since long time, excuse me for this.

How are u doing?♥️

 

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Hi dear Guilietta 

 

Just a quick note To tell you that i'm thinking of you ❤

 

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hello @Erell and @mustafa and @Rhiannon

 

Thank you for popping by my page to say hello! I have been thinking of you all - as well as @ShiningLight @intothewoods et al. and I hope you are all having some windows in your days - and that symptoms are mostly manageable. :)  I have been straight out - but getting nothing done it seems.  And like you I am tired of all the medical stuff. I am trying to have some kind of 'WD normal' and 'normalcy'.  I think this may help me with healing as long as it is not too stressful.

 

My mood has improved since the weekend - and am now in anxiety mode. Between issues with getting one of my seizure meds in January  (10 hours since Tuesday afternoon and today - with more work on this to go )  and  an MD appointment that went poorly - and looking at things not-med related that I want to be doing - and others are expecting of me - I am stressed out. 😬  So - after posting my logs - I am going to sign off and re-do lists and priorities.

 

@Rhiannon how is work?

@mustafa how is your search for a new home?

 

Hugs and thanks for visiting! 🤗

Giulietta

 

 

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Giuilietta's logs -

 

These logs are from staggered days. I have documented symptoms on days where symptoms are worst. Documenting every symptom every day exacerbates my anxiety. I'm sorry if they are not good enough for evaluation - but even doing this led to heart pounding and GI. 😕

 

10/28/2019

5.30 a.m.                 Breakfast and meds (gabapentin 300 mg, .4 mg duloxetine, .25 mg clonazepam, 2.5 mg lisinopril, 10 mg crestor. This is day 2 of beads.


8.00 - 8.45 a.m.       Heart pounding/palpitations – anxiety. In waiting room for psych. 


12 p.m.                     Lunch


1 p.m.                       gabapentin 300 mg


6 p.m.                       Dinner and lamotrogine ER 600 mg


8-9 p.m.                   gabapentin 300 mg, .75 mg clonazepam


9 p.m.                       Bed

10/31/2019 – odd day with anxiety, etc. in the afternoon and evening

10/31/2019

5.30 a.m.                 Breakfast and meds (gabapentin 300 mg, .4 mg duloxetine, .25 mg clonazepam, 2.5 mg lisinopril, 10 mg crestor. Drive into city - stressful but no symptoms.

1.30 p.m.                 In car. Auras & Anxiety around finding lunch, taking medicine. Unjustified.

2.30 p.m.                 lunch and gabapentin 300 mg.

4.30 a.m.                 Heart pounding and anxiety around dinner

6 p.m.                       Dinner and lamotrogine ER 600 mg. Anxiety. Tinnitis. Lesser heart pounding.

8-9 p.m.                   gabapentin 300 mg, .75 mg clonazepam. Anxiety. Tinnitis. Lesser pounding.

9 p.m.                       Bed

11/3/2019              

7 a.m.                       Breakfast and meds (gabapentin 300 mg, .4 mg duloxetine, .25 mg clonazepam, 2.5 mg lisinopril, 10 mg crestor


8.00 a.m.                 Dizziness and leg weakness. Unable to stand/walk.


9.00 a.m.                 Feeling better.


12                               Lunch


1.00 p.m.                 gabapentin 300 mg


6.00 p.m.                 dinner & lamotrigine ER 600 mg


9 p.m.                       gabapentin 400 mg, clonazepam .75 mg


10 p.m.                     Bed

11/13/2019  - 7 a.m. to 3 pm.

7 a.m.                       Breakfast and meds (gabapentin 300 mg, .4 mg duloxetine, .25 mg clonazepam, 2.5 mg lisinopril, 10 mg crestor


12 p.m.                     Heart pounding, anxiety, GI symptoms. Possible context: medical issues related to coverage of lamotrigine ER and ruminating about MD appointment and wish I was not spending so much on this.  Passing feelings of not wanting to go out.


12.30 Heart pounding, jumpy and anxiety while writing up the logs. I have to recreate them –  Alto and Rhi may be irritated that I haven’t noted all of these – only the bad ones.


1 p.m.                       Lunch and gabapentin 300 mg. Feeling better


1.15 p.m.                 Pounding heart returns. Again thinking about lamotrigine  ER and dealing  with  MD. There is a lot of stress about fleeing time and conflicts of shoulds, musts and wants for activities.


2.30 pm Feeling better anxiety wise now that I have logs posted.

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Does anyone have food anxiety?  If so, did this start in WD or did you experience some of this prior to WD or on the ADs?

 

I have experienced  high leves of anxiety, including a pounding heart,  intermittently, suddenly and unpredictably -  inasmuch as weakness in the legs and dizziness do.   Deconstructing them using CBT doesn't help. In fact, in some cases, anxiety may last for hours afterward.

 

Why is this?

 

There is a link to this topic below and I will post there as well.  If  anyone wants to shine light, share whether they have these symptoms and how they cope, etc. on this when they have a moment is welcome to. :)
 

Although I experienced these symptoms prior to WD - food issues have become more of an issue during WD and in the past 2 weeks.

 

I think my 4 biggies are:

  • Am I getting enough calories? I had intentionally lost some weight. I'd like to stay at my weight - within 2 or 3 pounds and wouldn't want to lose more than that. Telling myself to eat more if my clothing gets loose - and eat less if they get too tight - doesn't seem to resonate.   ;)
  • Inappetance
    Doesn't make sense - isn't eating a survival skill???
    • In the distant  past I  experienced a few terrifying days of not being able to eat anything.  What  subsystem hijacks our minds in this case?  🤔
    • To compensate for fear of inappetance, etc. I may eat a lot of extra calories - even if they aren't 'healthy' ones and I risk gaining weight.
  • Am I getting 'quality' calories - This is two parts. First - concern that I am not getting the proper nutrients in the right proportion for blood glucose control, for example.  I hve been told that I need to manage my prediabetes proactively now as it is progressive. Second: Asserting my needs to make healthy (think whole grains  not white rice, for example) in a space that isn't mine (the kitchen) becomes confrontational and  stressful - and now in WD I am  less likely to be contentious. Why? Is this lack of motivation?
  • Am I going be able to eat on schedule and get enough to fill my stomach? As meds need to be taken on a fairly strict schedule (esp. lamotrigine ER) and AEDs on a full stomach.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15877-weight-gain-weight-loss-appetite-changes-hunger/

 

 

 

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I think what I previously said are heart palpitations - actually feel like heart pounding.

 

It's possible that the heart pounding started the day after I started the .4 mg. I have documented the first time the day after I started experiencing them. Unless - they are a new symptom. @Gridley what do you think?

 

I'm really sorry my logs are so messy. I document them in Word and copy/paste doesn't work so well unless I am doing something wrong.

 

@SDOE kindly pointed out that I don't have sleep reported - so it looks like I am sleeping through the night. Well - that is an oversight on my part. I don't sleep through the night. I have been waking up once a night.

 

I re-did yesterday's log as I had more sysmptoms in the afternoon / evening. I  entered everything in manually.

 

They aremore detailed.

 

11/13/2019

 6 a.m.    Awaken

7 a.m.     Breakfast and gapabentin 300 mg, .25 mg. clonazepam, .4 mg duloxetine (2 beadbeads), 2.5 mg lisinopril, 10 mg crestor

12 pm    Lunch. Heart pounding, anxiety, GI issues,

1 pm      gabapentin 300 mg. Feeling a bit better.

1.15 pm Heart pounding returns

2.30 pm  Heart pounding returns

3 pm  Feeling better but have fatigue

5 pm Twitches, auras, contractions in L triceps, Anxiety

6 pm   Auras, contractions in L triceps and thigh. A lot of sudden fatigue

7-8.30   Really tired. Just want to go to bed. Can't do evening routine or watch TV.

8.30    Bed. Even though I had been exhausted - brain becomes suddently alert.

1 a.m. on 11/14 - Awaken. (disconcerted as I usually awaken at 4 a.m.). Back to sleep.

6 a.m. on 11/14 - Awaken with alarm and get up at 7.

 

  • All in all a crappy day in terms of symptoms.
  • Spent good portion of day working on getting lamogritine ER,  trying to create logs for SA and frustrated/irritated about wanting (and should be) doing other things. 
  • Many of the symptoms today (heart pounding) seem triggered by doing things I found stressful. This is quite atypical for me - and would you say this is situational?

 

Thank you. 

Edited by Guilietta
Accidentally submitted the post even though it was not completed.
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Hello Guilietta, sending good wishes, be here properly at weekend xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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12 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

be here properly at weekend xxx

 

Thanks for stopping by. Checking in very briefly to visit posts of others. ;) Will try to stay off today if I can discipline myself :). Hoping to minimize my symptoms by doing so.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi dear Guilietta 

 

Thank you for your always encouraging words ❤

 

I know that you suffer too,  and I can't wait To Feel better To support you with a clearer mind !

 

Stay off today 😘

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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On 11/13/2019 at 8:52 PM, Guilietta said:

how is your search for a new home

Well my friend, I moved to a new flat 2 days ago.

I think it is better to stay alone.

I hope everything is better soon for all of us 🙏.

Have a good day .

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Hello Mustafa,

 

I am thrilled you are enjoying your new home. You don't have to tread on egg shells about trying to be happy and dealing with your sypmtoms in a closed way when you need to not suppress them. Does that make sense?

 

Now you can learn to cook. :)

 

Giulietta

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi dear Guilietta 

 

Thinking of you this morning ❤

How have you been doing on the weekend ?

 

Hugs

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hello all,

 

It's been a while since I posted. I'm focusig on posting on seeing how others are faring and some PM'ing. I've been keepig a written log and dealig with my potpourri of symptoms. Rather than post many days of my logs here - which I keep procrastinating on - it's unpleasant for me to review (why we procrastinate to begin with) them as the repeat dailky details are discouraging. Even on days with 'windows' they are never without anxiety and some variety of heart pounding that I can't ignore. 

 

This morning started off with the ever discouraging and incapacitating weak legs, imbalance, can't walk without falling down and even weak glutes making sitting upright a bit difficult, lump in throat, some chest pounding, odd little zaps ad sensations in limbs and neck and anxiety. The ability to type has improved and I think I may  be having less issue putting thigs in the right place (i.e, the sugar bowl doesn't belong in the fridge). After 2 hours's I'm startig to improve. This means no walk on the treadmll and lost time to many errands. So I'm irritated in adddition to all of this.

 

Over the past two weeks I've experieced 'fall out' or repercussions which I won't elaborate on here about the consequences of expressing my dismay and yes anger about WD to care providers. How else do you do this? While I thought it was completelky harmless - the past 2 appointments in the past 2+ weeks were anxiety provoking. 

 

Has anyone expxerienced this - or maybe you are less emotional and perseverate less than me?

 

Like you all - I'm so tired of this.

 

Toodles.

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear Guilietta 

 

To be honest, I don't always try To expose my view To doctors.

During my benzo taper, I lived in a different town and had an other doctor.  

As I was feeling stronger than now, I always tried To convice him. Can't say I succeed, but I printed a lot of articles, Ashton manuel, etc...and always reminded him my point of view and my rights. 

 

But now that I am in a harder situation, I don't have the strenght To argue with them. I just "use" them To get my meds.

 

 

Yes, we have To make things change, but when you are déstabilised, your priority is YOU,  taking care of you. Doctors have already harmed us too much. So, for now they are not your priority. Just play their game To be sure you'll have the meds you need.

 

And when we Will be stronger, we won't let them harm more people.

 

Big hugs ❤

 

 

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
15 hours ago, Guilietta said:

 

Over the past two weeks I've experieced 'fall out' or repercussions which I won't elaborate on here about the consequences of expressing my dismay and yes anger about WD to care providers. How else do you do this? While I thought it was completelky harmless - the past 2 appointments in the past 2+ weeks were anxiety provoking. 

 

Has anyone expxerienced this - or maybe you are less emotional and perseverate less than me?

 

I also find these kinds of things anxiety provoking, so don't be discouraged @Guilietta. I'd say it's pretty normal. Having to advocate for yourself in the face of a hostile (maybe too strong a word ) or disbelieving audience is unnerving at the best of times. I had that work stress three weeks ago and had to stand up for myself and it really knocked me for a bit, even tho the boss is actually on my side. I've got to go to an occupational health appointment as a follow up, and that unnerves me a bit, too.

 

I don't really know how to deal with these things apart from accepting they are going to potentially have a knock on effect for a while. It's less frustrating that way. I'm assuming you mean emotional fallout from the meetings, btw?

Sending you a big hug and a wave (the nice variety) from London xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Hello @Erell and @sunnysideup69

 

Thank you for your words of wisdom and solace/assurance. 

18 hours ago, Erell said:

To be honest, I don't always try To expose my view To doctors.

 

During the early part (and acute) of my WD I didn't expose much of misery. I knew if I would I could be prescribed another med or he would stop prescribing the duloxetine - both bad things. When I met later - after I learned much more- I was really angry about what had happened to me. I could not kekep my trap shut.

 

18 hours ago, Erell said:

But now that I am in a harder situation, I don't have the strenght To argue with them. I just "use" them To get my meds.

 

It is harder when you feel so awful. I just keep saying I was managing the syptoms - which is part of the reason I didn't call it WD since I need the continuing RX.

 

18 hours ago, Erell said:

So, for now they are not your priority. Just play their game To be sure you'll have the meds you need.

 

Yes. I need to behave and get along. I have to make sure I get off this med - and then clonazepam after I stabilize on this and likely ahve to change the formulaton of lamotrigine ER to IR in 2020.  I need the MD's help.

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I had that work stress three weeks ago and had to stand up for myself and it really knocked me for a bit, even tho the boss is actually on my side.

 

I was thinking of you when I went through this. Unfortunately I had to do this twice within 2 weeks (2 clincians).  When I had 'recovered' from the 1st one- I experienced the 2nd! Which was worse because I want to stay at the 2nd hospital, whichis very interconnected.

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I'm assuming you mean emotional fallout from the meetings, btw?

 

I'm afraid a huge part of the emotion was fall out from a) being taken seriously moving forward, b)damaging patient/provider relationship, c) would otherprovider want to see me. In addition - hospitals are big busiss and coprorations in the US. Who knows what they could be thinking. Given the 2 experiences - yes - I had some anxiety.

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

disbelieving audience is unnerving at the best of times

 

makes it worse for sure and if it wasn't for htis I wouldn't have the worries and have been so angry. i am thankful that I have had a supportive MD.

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

've got to go to an occupational health appointment as a follow up,

 

Let me/us know how I cansupport forpreparation / during this. I hope you are doing better too.

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Sending you a big hug and a wave (the nice variety)

  🤣  Back at you!

 

Thanks toyou both,

Giuilietta

 

 

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Hello @Guilietta, very sorry for not being able to get all the post and understand them just because of my current position.

I think of you all time.

Hope you do well♥️

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

Link to comment

Hello @mustafa

 

Thank you for thinking of me.  The bottom line is that because I may have commuicated inappropriately (said the wrong things the wrong way) to care providers  - they may feel threatened. I hope I have not damaged the patient/MD relationship.

 

 

 

 

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