Kooples: off antidepressants 6 years - still struggling

[Sassenach]

Kooples

 

What do you mean by finished?

[Kooples]

I just feel completely and utterly without hope.

 

its nobody’s fault. I’m fine thank you. 

 

Thank you for listening 

 

[Kooples]

I have been given trazadone.. the lowest dose is 50mg capsules.. I want to try this as I cannot get lamotrgiene.

im extremely depressed and very exhausted.

the more exhausted I get the more flighty I am. 

I had previously not been on holiday for 6 years as I have been too unwell. Last month I took a short flight to Spain. It was 2 hrs long, it was horrific, my sense of balance which has been off since I came off Prozac was so out of whack I couldn’t stand. Every movement of the plane sent me into wave after wave of adrenaline surge. It’s the exhausting causing this. 

 

I want back on a antidepressant more than anything, I need to get well. I cannot make good decisions when I’m so exhausted. I love life and I love doing things I’m not a naturally depressed person but I see No point in living like this. 

 

I think when I’m exhausted my nervous system will kick back against the sedation of trazadone, I don’t know if to take a smaller dose( can I split the capsules)? Or to wait for a rare better nights sleep? 

I have been waking with the cortisol surges I had in the early years and it’s hard to carry on.  

 

Please advise as I’m desperate. 

 

I used to to talk to a girl on a fb antidepressants survivor page. She lost her life she suffered a lot. Akathesia like I do. I want to survive this. 

[ChessieCat]

I've asked the other mods for their assistance.

 

You might want to reconsider taking trazodone after reading the following information from Post #1 of this topic Tips for tapering off trazodone (Desyrel) :

 

On 7/20/2012 at 12:40 PM, Altostrata said:

 

Trazodone (trazodone hydrochloride) is a nasty drug often added to antidepressants and other "activating" drugs to aid sleep.

It's nasty because it has an evil active metabolite, meta-Chlorophenylpiperazine (mCPP), and a huge number of interactions with other drugs that can make you feel very sick.

First, carefully read the below to see if you have any adverse effects from trazodone.

Trazodone's evil byproduct, mCPP
Trazodone's active metabolite, mCPP, does the opposite of aiding sleep -- it's very, very activating, often in an unpleasant way.

Wikipedia on mCPP http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-Chlorophenylpiperazine

 

 

[ChessieCat]

And possible side effects:

 

https://www.rxlist.com/trazodone/drugs-condition.htm

 

https://www.drugs.com/sfx/trazodone-side-effects.html

[Hisame]

Hello Kooples,

I'm very saddened by your story, really.

I'm in this kind of situation, although of course we are all unique.

I mean after 4 years off SSRI, I'm still suffering a lot. And I also have that desperate thought of trying to reinstate 1mg, with all the risks that this involves.

Moderators here are the voices of wisdom, because they knows how it could be dramatic in our case.

If you just want to talk, you can pm me.

Whatever you do, I really hope you will find some relief.

 

 

 

[LadyBartonella]

2 hours ago, Kooples said:

I want to survive this. 

Did you check other possible diagnosis ?

 

*mold

*heavy metals

*Lyme

* deficiencies

 

It could be something what impact your recovery.

 

[Kooples]

 

Hi.

thank you 

i was in excellent health prior to Prozac withdrawal so don’t think it’s anything else.

 

i have had implants for 10 years and I often worry about that but then I tell myself I was running marathons until I stopped Prozac. My problems are caused by complete exhaustion from insomnia and akathesia and over stimulation of the nervous system. Along with having a anxious personality 

 

 

[Kooples]

9 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

You might want to reconsider taking trazodone after reading the following information from Post #1 of this topic Tips for tapering off trazodone (Desyrel) :

Maybe liquid Prozac is better then.. I can’t see how any drug can be more evil than Prozac though 

[Altostrata]

Kooples, SSRIs such as Prozac tend to be activating. Trazodone's metabolite m-CPP is activating. This is why you're not getting much encouragement for that.

 

Your PAWS symptoms are over-activation from a hyper-sensitized nervous system. It's firing randomly. This includes the restless leg symptoms -- the neurons and muscles are firing inappropriately.

 

Benzodiazepines such as diazepam are anti-seizure drugs, as are lamotrigine and levetiracetam (Keppra). They slow down nerve cell firing. Zopiclone is related, but it is much shorter-acting and if it has a beneficial effect, it may not last throughout the day. (Still, if it helps you sleep, that's something. I would try only a very small fraction of a tablet, maybe an eighth, to see what it does.)

 

Anti-seizure drugs may be the province of neurologists in the UK, though in the US all kinds of doctors mix and match them with all kinds of psychiatric drugs, creating gruesome cocktails.

 

If you feel you must try Prozac, if I were you, I'd try only 0.5mg to see what it does. It's available in a liquid so you can take tiny amounts. Try only one drug at a time to avoid confusion. Please let us know how you're doing.

[Kooples]

I feel terribly sad and hopeless now as thinking that trazadone will help was lifting my mood. 

 

On 9/2/2019 at 7:57 PM, Altostrata said:

f you feel you must try Prozac, if I were you, I'd try only 0.5mg to see what it does. It's available in a liquid so you can take tiny amounts. Try only one drug at a time to avoid confusion. Please let us know how you're doing.

It’s not so much feeling I must as feeling I have no choice as I cannot access lamotrgiene.. 

 

Manipulating seratonin levels has always produced good results for me in the past, improving sleep and calming the constant thoughts I’m tortured by.. it’s not that I believe in seratonin imbalances it’s just what seemed to help for me.. I had very bad akathesia after I stopped Prozac, this stiffened my neck muscles into extreme tension. 6 years later this still causes severe tension and pain in my neck, jaw and facial muscles. When you are in severe pain and sleep deprived it is very difficult to make good decisions, I don’t know how to proceed. 

[Kooples]

Also this is not a criticism at all just a genuine question. I don’t understand why it’s ok to take benzos for years, stop and then go back to them now but you can’t go back to SSRIs? Is the mechanism different in the brain ? It sounds like I just want back on SSRIs and I don’t they destroyed me, I just want to feel calmer, sleep better and not be so depressed and anxious.

[Kooples]

I have been reading about trazadone and although I don’t understand fully the mechanisms, I wondered if it was like mirtazapine in that it becomes more activating at higher doses? I need deep sleep, even when I do sleep it’s dreamy light non refreshing sleep. Zoplicone does help me sleep a little but I feel just as exhausted and depressed the next day. 

[Hisame]

8 hours ago, Kooples said:

I had very bad akathesia after I stopped Prozac, this stiffened my neck muscles into extreme tension.

I got this too when I withdrew from paxil, akathisia that was scattered by tension in my neck.

[Hisame]

8 hours ago, Kooples said:

When you are in severe pain and sleep deprived it is very difficult to make good decisions, I don’t know how to proceed. 

So true.

[Hisame]

7 hours ago, Kooples said:

Also this is not a criticism at all just a genuine question. I don’t understand why it’s ok to take benzos for years, stop and then go back to them now but you can’t go back to SSRIs? Is the mechanism different in the brain ? It sounds like I just want back on SSRIs and I don’t they destroyed me, I just want to feel calmer, sleep better and not be so depressed and anxious.

I don't know why.

I used to be in a french forum. And that's true that people with akathisia was the SSRI ones.

Yes the mechanism is different, benzo interacts with Gaba receptors, SSRI with serotonin. It results in different disorders.

 

[Hisame]

7 hours ago, Kooples said:

I don’t understand why it’s ok to take benzos for years, stop and then go back to them now but you can’t go back to SSRIs?

I don't think it's quite that simple.

But it might be because SSRI activate the brain, and benzo just calm down, hence the danger of a reinstatement with ssri.

[Kooples]

I cannot stand to feel this pain anymore. I can’t wake up one more day with this sadness. It is the worst pain I can ever image. Soon as I open my eyes after a few hrs of rubbish sleep I remember who I am and what has happened and it is a feeling I can’t describe. 

 

I cannot stand to drag myself through another day with this headache and tinnitus and fatigue. 

 

 I cannot stand to hear the negativity in my voice sap everyone arounds me energy,

 

i cannot stand to Struggle to remember the names of people I have known for years. 

 

I cannot stand one more day of not having the energy to do the most simplest things.

 

i cannot stand to have permanent vertigo 

 

I cannot stand to talk and think in this way. And be so negative 

 

I cannot stand that everything I think may help I’m told will make me worse. 

 

Zoplicone makes me more depressed 

 

I just cant stand to go on 

[ChessieCat]

If you are feeling suicidal please get local support.

 

for-those-who-are-feeling-desperate-or-suicidal

 

 

 

Samaritans UK & ROI
National
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - E-mail:
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
Website: samaritans.org
E-mail Helpline: jo@samaritans.org
24 Hour service:

[Hisame]

Hi Kooples,

I'm really sorry that you're feeling so bad. I don't know what more to say.

Alto suggested you a very low dose if you should reinstate, 0,5 mg, in liquid form.

But the decision is yours.

I have been in that kind of dilemma for 4 years.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Kooples, how are you doing?

[Kooples]

Hello,

 

Still in a dark place. I take a small dose of amiltriptyline now. It doesn’t help sleep but it has helped the very painful head and facial pain iv had for the last 6 years. I also have less severe vertigo. 
 

My sleep in still poor and I still wake early with what I think it’s akthesia. I am still extremely restless both physically and mentally between 5.30 and 8.30am.  My mood is also mostly flat very little enthusiasm or motivation to do anything.

 

 

[Altostrata]

I am sorry you're still feeling poorly.

 

How much amitryptyline do you take? When did you start taking it? What was the effect on you, how long did it take to help the symptoms?

 

Please update your signature.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

You may be able to strengthen your sleep, see

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

White noise devices for sleep

[Hisame]

Hi Kooples,

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel this way, after all that time without news from you.

As Alto, may I ask what is the dose of amitriptyline that you take ?

I'm 5 years off now, and as my condition has gradually worsened I'm thinking about a small reinstatement just to help me manage the pain.

I hope that there will be a time when you will get better.

 

[Kooples]

On 10/29/2020 at 7:31 PM, Altostrata said:

How much amitryptyline do you take? When did you start taking it? What was the effect on you, how long did it take to help the symptoms?

Hello

 

i take 10mg of amiltriptyline. I don’t think I had any negative side effects except one night I had a small amount of alcohol and took the amiltriptyline. I had terrible anxiety and palpitations all night and hardly slept at all

 

i still sleep badly waking 5 or 6 times a night and then again very early feeling restless but I do find it easier to get back to sleep I think. 

 

I would say it’s improved my head and facial pain by about 25%. I am reluctant To go higher as I have found over the years that anything that makes others go to sleep will keep me awake.

 

its my Flat mood and anxiety I would love to improve. 

 

[Kooples]

Hello.

I have surgery this week and I am very worried about the side effects. I have felt like cancelling it today. 

I have asked that I am not given an anti sickness drug after surgery. 

 

any advice would be welcome. 
 

 

[Hisame]

Hi Kooples,

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

It's hard to give you an advice, especially if your surgery is required.

A year and a half ago I got a local anesthesia by the dentist, and after that I got an increase of my neuropathic pains. But several month later I was better.

Sometimes we have no other choice, unfortunately.

It's impossible to predict how things will happen.

Hope you will be fine, let us know.

Take care.

[1WishToHeal]

On 2/9/2021 at 1:55 AM, Hisame said:

Hi Kooples,

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

It's hard to give you an advice, especially if your surgery is required.

A year and a half ago I got a local anesthesia by the dentist, and after that I got an increase of my neuropathic pains. But several month later I was better.

Sometimes we have no other choice, unfortunately.

It's impossible to predict how things will happen.

Hope you will be fine, let us know.

Take care.

How are you @Hisame