thedaydreamer: done with Celexa - why do I feel this way?

[thedaydreamer]

Hi all,

 

Been dealing with GAD, fear, DR, woozy,crying, sadness for 2yrs

 

Been taking xanax .25 bedtime for 3yr

THEN

switch to Klonopin .25 1.5 yr

THEN

6 months of citalopram, starting at 2.5mg and working my way to 20mg, was relaxing me and helping a bit but dont want to be on meds + side effects

weaned off in 2.5mo

3weeks went by

Felt ok but then started to panic

Tried zoloft for 6 days, very agitated, stopped

felt better, then panicked again 2wks later

citalopram for 3 days, again said no to the meds stopped

panicked again 1 week later

Did citalopram 2.5mg for 4 days then 5mg for 4 days, said NO MORE took 2.5 for 3 days then stopped

 

I know this all sounds crazy, but I have been suffering and desperate for relief

 

Made a decision, NO MORE SSRI no matter what, and soon going to ween off klonopin

4 days off now

Headaches and head pressures have gotten much worse, woozy, ground movement sensations even more,  face and jaw tension much worse, clenching my teeth, feel even more spaced out, removed, odd

 

Is this just a bit premature? Are these symptoms normal and I just need some time to pass for some of this stuff to resolve?

My head, by being feels so odd, my instincts tell me in due time it will get better but I panic and sell myself on nonsense, even though I understand these drugs and how they work, I just wind up shooting myself in the foot (sabatoge)

 

ALSO, do you think that even lose dose benzos for all that time could be causing some of this disfunction?  I have reason to believe so.

 

I value your responses, as I long to be the man I once was, I am so removed, spaced out,,, I hold on to each day.

 

any thoughts?

 

Thank You

Thedaydreamer

[PatriciaVP]

Hi Day Dreamer,

 

Terribly sorry you are suffering so. Everything you're experiencing is common in withdrawal. Your taper off the citalopram was very quick, and your brain may be interpreting it as a cold turkey.

 

The moderators will be along shortly with helpful reading suggestions and some idea of what to do to relieve symptoms in your specific situation. In the meantime, know you are not alone.  There are many of us walking this path with you. Hang on. It will get better.

 

Peace, love and healing. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, thedaydreamer.

 

Do your symptoms follow any daily pattern?  Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms. You can post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, with a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right.

 

We also need to know more about your drug history. Most recently, when did you start and stop the last batch of drugs, and at what dosages? To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

[thedaydreamer]

I was able to fill in my signature, hope that helps, what I am experiencing now is listed in my first post.  I hope it makes sense if you read it, do let me know, I feel awful upon waking, strange in afternoon, little better at night

but if you read my post, the last few weeks have been VERY strange, maybe because I went on and off in that period,,,,,after my final taper of the 6mo citalopram I was feeling better after a few weeks then got on and off the stuff again, thats when things started to get strange,,,hope this helps,,,I assume that this stuff takes time, but its easy to feel afraid

 

Thedaydreamer

[thedaydreamer]

Hi,

Anyone willing to respond?

 

Thank you

[ChessieCat]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms. You can post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, with a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. 

 

We need a few days of daily symptom notes to assess your situation.

 

This is an example of what is needed:

 

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

[thedaydreamer]

Hi

 

Ok

7am-ish            wake up, anxious,head achy, sad, nervous, many symptoms

715                    coffe, walk outside, spaced out

730                    shower, anxious, racy thoughts

8am                   .25 klonopin, eat, take 2g fish oil, 5k vit d, 1k vit c

9                         go into office, spaced out , woozy, little better than earlier

12 -1                   eat lunch, little better, work in office or on road jobs

5                          gym, little better

6                          home, 20 min run, cool down walk feel ok

7                          start dinn, play with babies, spacy

8                          kids in bed, little woozy, clean house, kitchen

9:30                    90min walk outside, feel little better

11                       back home, night time tea, walk around office watching youtube vids

1130                   shower, feel little sleepy

1215                   cbd oil, 400mag glycinate, go to bed

1220                   in bed watch fav tv show, fall asleep in 15min

usually sleep for 6 - 7 hrs, maybe wake up to pee 1x

as 7 am aproaches can feel anxious, uncomfortable, get up to start day

REPEAT EACH DAY

 

- off citalopram now for 6days, see my original post

-cant tell if 4.5yrs of klonopin is causing disregulation

-feel less stable that when on citalopram

- jaw pressure, head pressure all the time, gotten worse over 2yrs

- sweaty , heart palps, dizzysih since stopping

- cry everyday for 2yrs, was better on cital. not as often

- feel more disconnected, emotionless last 30days

- body tension, stiffness, tight stomach, last 2 weeks

 

hope this helps

Thedaydreamer

[ChessieCat]

On 8/1/2019 at 10:53 AM, ChessieCat said:

 

We need a few days of daily symptom notes to assess your situation.

 

 

Please continue to post your daily notes.  Please add the date to the top of the list.

[thedaydreamer]

What I have posted is pretty much the SAME every day, there is no real deviation, no change 

Hope this helps, if you read my posts on this page I am hoping that you can give me some kind of answer to what I am experiencing, its either related to the SSRI taper, the klonopin or neither,,,,,,just my baseline anxiety issues,,,,,however it seems that symptoms have gotten more pronounced in the last 1.5 yrs

 

thank you

Thedaydreamer

[ChessieCat]

We need several days of symptoms notes so that they can be assessed by the mods who may be able to see a pattern which you don't.

 

Altostrata is this site's founder and she would not be asking for the notes if they weren't important.  It is part of the process of trying to work out what is happening and what might be the best thing to do.

 

If you don't provide them, it makes it very difficult for the mods to assist you.

 

On 8/1/2019 at 4:21 AM, Altostrata said:

We also need to know more about your drug history. Most recently, when did you start and stop the last batch of drugs, and at what dosages?

 

Please use the following format, include dates and doses for the different drugs including information about the increases/decreases you made especially details for the last 2 years:

 

Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

• details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
• summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

[Altostrata]

On 8/2/2019 at 8:17 AM, thedaydreamer said:

715                    coffe, walk outside, spaced out 

730                    shower, anxious, racy thoughts

 

How much coffee do you drink each day? Are you more anxious after you drink it?

 

On 8/2/2019 at 8:17 AM, thedaydreamer said:

8am                   .25 klonopin, eat, take 2g fish oil, 5k vit d, 1k vit c

9                         go into office, spaced out , woozy, little better than earlier

 

Spaced out and woozy is probably a side effect of the Klonopin. How about taking the 2g fish oil, 5k vit d, 1k vit c earlier, with your coffee, so you're taking it apart from the Klonopin?

 

On 8/2/2019 at 8:17 AM, thedaydreamer said:

1215                   cbd oil, 400mag glycinate, go to bed

1220                   in bed watch fav tv show, fall asleep in 15min

usually sleep for 6 - 7 hrs, maybe wake up to pee 1x

as 7 am aproaches can feel anxious, uncomfortable, get up to start day

REPEAT EACH DAY

 

If looks to me you are having rebound anxiety as the Klonopin wears off in early morning. Dividing the dosage will help, also reduce the daytime wooziness. @Shep can help with this.

 

And that is why we want to see daily notes.

[thedaydreamer]

Hi,

 

Thanks for your response!

 

I drink one small cup in am of coffee per day, never any more,,,,,,funny enough I feel a little bit better after the coffee, perhaps a little more amped up but does not cause any panic

 

I am typically spaced out most of the day,,,,LOL However after I take Klonopin and the morning settles in I am a little bit better than waking

 

 

 

 

As the evening grows close, I seem to be a bit better then when The sun is out, and my late night walks are usually the best times of day for me, and right before I go to bed is pretty good as well

 

Waking in am is the toughest, its like I have been drinking alcohol all night, Im sad and anxious

 

 

 

 

I think the klonopin is coming into play with some disfunction, I am very somatic with many symptoms, thats why I want off that as well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to clear something up also, and not sure how this comes into play if you can help out:

 

Was on citalopram for 6mo starting at 2.5mg and tapering up to 20mg, I made it up to 20 for a week at the end of the 6mo, so really most of that time on celexa for 6 mo I was going up after a few weeks, then after 6 mo I just wanted off

went from 20 down 2.5mg every 2 weeks until I hit 2.5mg for a 10 days and stopped, nearly 3mo taper

 

 

 

The only real effects I felt was I was crying more and slightly more anxious but not that bad, feeling sad and crying, with more bloaty stomach and headpressures,,,,,,,, I got panicky

 

 

 

3 weeks went by, decided I had to go back on something so was prescribed sertraline starting at 12.5mg, I did that for 6 days, was agitated and breathy and said no more,so I stopped

 

 

 

 

was doing ok, 3 weeks went by, panicked again,  decided to go back on celexa, started on 2.5, that lasted 3 days,,,I said no more,,,,stopped

 

 

 

 

3 weeks went by, panicked again,,,,,started on 2.5 celexa AGAIN, this time as I started I was nauseaus, which I had not really felt before, it went away after 2 days

 

stayed on 2.5 for 4 days, then went to 5mg for 4 days, did not like the side effects, went back down to 2.5mg for 4 days, then stopped......I HAD ENOUGH FOR REAL

 

 

 

clean 7 days

 

first 2 days were ok then, more headaches and head pressures set in, really disconnected, on day 7 clean and feel really dizzy and light headed, I did not have these symptoms this bad before and kind of freaked out

 

But now im done with ssris for real day 7 clean and feel real dizzy and out of it

 

I am embarrased that I went up and down for a few days on and off,,,,,I have reason to believe that is what Im feeling now is a direct result of this, and as time goes by it should disapate,,,,,any thoughts please?

 

Im so upset at myself for not just staying off, and now Im so dizzy its upsetting

 

I know there is hope

Thank you

Thedaydreamer

[Altostrata]

Please post your daily notes in the requested format, I don't have a lot of time and it is easier for me to follow.

 

You may wish to gradually switch to decaf in the morning, could be the caffeine is causing some anxiety. Going on and off drugs can make your nervous system hypersensitive to this kind of thing.

 

Your inconsistent citalopram dosing may have contributed to shaking up your nervous system, but it appears the Klonopin is the problem now.

[thedaydreamer]

Hi

 

Thank you for your response, it is so important to help me, give me hope and keep me moving

 

Some more info about me to help you

 

44yr old male athlete

run and lift weights 6 days a week

solid diet

 

given my usage of klonopin and citalopram

 

I cant believe how tight my body feels, tension in neck, shoulders, soreness, stiffness,  feel like old man sometimes, do you think that these meds could be contributing to my body feeling so sore, or is it just an anxiety state?

 

The dreaded head tension, pressure has progressed over the last 2 years, it really is a hard symptom to deal with, heavy, fullness in my jaws, tension in jaw and cheeks, clenching, this seems to be a popular one regarding people who take these meds, ideas?

 

Feeling so spaced out and disconnected from reality, living in a dream world

 

Harder to laugh, smile, how does a guy go from being a wild clown to sad and out of it?  anxiety, depression, OR meds?

 

Do you feel that when most people get off these drugs, time passes,  that they truly feel better?

 

each day feel like a huge struggle, thank you for helping me

I want to dream again

Thedaydreamer

[Shep]

2 hours ago, thedaydreamer said:

Feeling so spaced out and disconnected from reality, living in a dream world

 

This sounds like dp/dr (depersonalization / derealization). This post in the dp/dr thread explains this phenomenon:

 

Derealization or Depersonalization (DR and DP) - Do You Feel Like a Stranger to Yourself?

 

This is extremely common with benzos. 

 

This is from your signature:

 

Quote

 

2014 .25 xanax at bed time for 3.5 yrs

switched to klonopin .25 1.5yrs still on

 

 

 

When you were taking Xanax, you took it at night, but you're currently taking Klonopin in the morning. How long have you been taking Klonopin in the morning? Did you start out taking it at night and then switch to morning?

 

Do you feel more spaced out before you take the Klonopin or after you take it? 

 

Please continue with your drug and symptoms notes and we'll try to help you set up a safe game plan for spacing out the Klonopin if it looks like you're getting interdose withdrawal symptoms (symptoms in between doses). Klonopin has a half-life of 18 - 50 hours, so it depends on how quickly you're metabolizing it. 

[thedaydreamer]

Hi 

 

Thank you for the response

 

I can clear some things up:

 

Yes, I have been experiencing the DR now for 2 years, it all started one night with a bad panic attack, then shortly after reality got very strange, however prior to that attack I was taking .25 xanax at bed for 3 years, also puffing on cannabis bedtime.

no DR

As a side note, it seems that after I started the xanax, months maybe, my body was acting a bit strange, but I just blew it off

 

I always stayed at .25 xanax those 3yrs

 

 

after panic episode, crying, confusion, fears, ocd, rumination, stress all set in and I started to feel like a different man

 

I know now there is nothing wrong with me, but suffer from awful somatic symptoms either from stress or meds

 

as time progressed after panic I started to double the xanax dose  .25 am  .25 pm

 

5 months later, neurologist switched me to klonopin  .25 am  .25 pm

 

during that time doses changed at times   .5 day only,,,,,,or maybe .25 day only,,,,,,then .25 am - pm

 

now for about 6 months I have been taking .25klon am only and on occasion .375

 

I feel equally spaced out either before or after I take klonopin, the DR is always there, seems to be more intense afternoon and less intense at night

 

I do think that the benzo is possibly causing me some issues, the fact the I never really changed or upped my dose could lead me to believe that even though I am taking it my body is in some sort of withdrawl from it...

I want it out of my life and my plan is to slightly shave tiny pieces off it each week and see how I do, there is no telling how Ill come off, hopefully easier than harder

 

hope this helps

thank you

Thedaydreamer

[Altostrata]

We need to see your daily drug and symptom notes, at least 24 hours at a time, to answer your questions.

 

Your benzo problem might be best addressed by a different benzo schedule. Please do not start tapering before we can get a good idea of your baseline symptom pattern compared with your drug schedule.

[thedaydreamer]

UPDATE      8.5.19

 

9 days off citalopram

main symptoms, strong headaches, head pressures , jaw tension pressure, dizzyish movement sensations

 

bed 1230

awoke 422am head heavyness, inner sense of restlessness, feeling unsettled, fell back asleep (usually not like this )

 

awoke 715am   head heavyness, inner sense of restlessness, feeling unsettled, anxiety........got up to start my day

 

720am   walk outside with small cup coffee, bad headaches, really anxious, shower

 

8am  out of shower, .25klonopin, breakfast 3eggs, organic sausage (cry, hopelessness, usually happens this time)

 

845am    in office, anxious, sweaty palms, feet, feel dizzyish, motion (usually like this)

 

10am   symptoms settle slightly, no more sweating, but headachy, dizzyish

 

1220   small lunch, headachy, wozzy dizzyish

 

takeways - It seems that after this last on/off with citalopram that these symptoms are more pronounced, thats when some of this dizzish stuff started and stronger jaw/head sensations

before going on citalopram last june I really just had head pressures, while on citalopram my head felt foggyish, but after a few months I had only slight movement sensations

 

hope this helps

Thedaydreamer

[Shep]

15 hours ago, thedaydreamer said:

9 days off citalopram

 

Thanks for the drug and symptoms journal, Daydreamer.

 

Please update your signature to reflect your on/off antidepressant use. Your signature currently states your AD use ended May 2019. Please provide a timeline for when exactly you were on and off, as well as the doses each time. This will help us have a better timeline of your drug history. 

 

Account - Settings - Create or Edit Your Signature

 

 

15 hours ago, thedaydreamer said:

takeways - It seems that after this last on/off with citalopram that these symptoms are more pronounced, thats when some of this dizzish stuff started and stronger jaw/head sensations

before going on citalopram last june I really just had head pressures, while on citalopram my head felt foggyish, but after a few months I had only slight movement sensations

 

Do you feel you may benefit from reinstating the Citalopram and tapering off? Please don't make any changes yet, but just so you have some background on reinstating and tapering off, please see:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms 

 

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

 

 

On 8/3/2019 at 9:12 PM, thedaydreamer said:

was doing ok, 3 weeks went by, panicked again,  decided to go back on celexa, started on 2.5, that lasted 3 days,,,I said no more,,,,stopped

 

3 weeks went by, panicked again,,,,,started on 2.5 celexa AGAIN, this time as I started I was nauseaus, which I had not really felt before, it went away after 2 days

 

stayed on 2.5 for 4 days, then went to 5mg for 4 days, did not like the side effects, went back down to 2.5mg for 4 days, then stopped......I HAD ENOUGH FOR REAL

 

 

It sounds like you may have been stabilizing when you restarted Celexa and the nausea went away, but then you went up to 5 mg, which was clearly too much. 

 

Please note it takes 4 days for your nervous system to register a change and a week or longer for your nervous system to adjust. It can be a rocky ride when you first reinstate. 

 

On 8/2/2019 at 7:59 PM, thedaydreamer said:

Hope this helps, if you read my posts on this page I am hoping that you can give me some kind of answer to what I am experiencing, its either related to the SSRI taper, the klonopin or neither,,,,,,just my baseline anxiety issues,,,,,however it seems that symptoms have gotten more pronounced in the last 1.5 yrs

 

 

You mention your "baseline anxiety issues". What are you doing to handle these? Please see this thread for ideas:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Mindfulness techniques can be very helpful for anxiety.  Gentle yoga is also helpful. Make sure you're eating healthy meals and snacks throughout the day and getting plenty of water - drops in blood sugar and dehydration can also cause spikes in anxiety and other symptoms that can mimic withdrawal. 

 

This is a great video with a technique that's very helpful for calming the anxious nervous system - the breathing space. 

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

Dr. Claire Weekes has excellent information on handling anxiety:

 

Dr. Claire Weekes - How To Recover From Anxiety

 

Dr. Claire Weekes: How to accept the physical symptoms of nervous illness video (1.5 minutes)

 

Dr.Claire Weekes - How to overcome Anxiety - (YouTube - 1 hour, 20 minutes)

 

Are you taking any supplements? If so, please add them to your signature. 

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements, as many members report their nervous systems are simply too fragile to handle them. However, magnesium and fish oil tend to be calming to the nervous system and many people report they do help. Please only add in one supplement at a time and at a small dose. For more, please see:

 

 King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

 

[thedaydreamer]

Thank you for your replies

 

10 days off

headachy, bad head, face and jaw tension, like someone is hitting my head with a hammer,,,vice like squeezing,,,, really agitated, angry,,,,,woozy, dizzyish, vision like issues,,,I feel dazed an confused,,,,last 2 days waking up at 4am feeling uncomfortable like im not relaxed which doesnt happen, fall back asleep,,,,,then at 7 again only stronger like im crawling out of my skin anxious, then I start my day anxious,,,,,

These symptoms are tough

 

 

 

 

"Do you feel you may benefit from reinstating the Citalopram and tapering off? Please don't make any changes yet, but just so you have some background on reinstating and tapering off, please see:"

 

I thought about that,,,,,but here we go again on the hampster wheel of meds that I am trying to get off of,,,,what would I reinstate to? how would that look?   2.5 celexa maybe ? for how long? only to taper from that?

If I muscle through these symptoms they should eventually get better, I dont know if mentally I can go back on, not saying definetly not, but I am trying to endure and get through this,,,,,,it's only been 10 days and hopefully as time progresses things will ease up,

dont you think?

 

I am just so frustrated because after my initial taper the first time I though I was feeling better, dont know why I decided to play around again with on/off here and there,,,,Im upset I feel so symptomatic now

 

 

 

 

 

"You mention your "baseline anxiety issues". What are you doing to handle these? Please see this thread for ideas:"

 

I have seen all the claire weeks stuff, really good, she is amazing, I am trying to be mindful and work on that,,,,,6 days a week I hit the gym, come home jog, cool down walk,,,,,then at night 90min walk,,,,thats everynight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you taking any supplements?"

 

I am VERY versed on supplements and have an entire cabinet filled with dozens of high quality supplements,,,,,that I largely stare at,,,,,,,I just take 2g fish oil, 5k vit d, 1g c, and 50bil probiotic everyday

at night I throw in pharma gaba and cbd oil, 400mg mag glycinate

 

It's funny when I was on celexa I could take more supplements and feel a good effect,,,,,in fact I would take b complex with ashwaganda and get a nice effect, really good sleep and lower OCD

 

 

 

 

 

I have a ton of testing as well, Im homozygus for c677t MTHFR

my comT is Val\val,,,I break down catacolamines fast

my urinary neurotransmitter panels all show low dopamine and catacolamines as well as lower gaba and taurine

 

Sometimes I just have supplement anxiety,,,,,,sigh,,,,,

 

I just feel like right now I should muscle through this, it's tough, do I muscle through or medicate again?

 

Thank you

Thedaydreamer

 

 

[Eastcoastgirl]

Reinstating might benefit you. You're in the very early days and seem to be in fairly deep water already. A lot of people go off and think they can tough it out , but for many people withdrawal can last a very very long time and they wait too long and the option to reinstate and ease some of their suffering is no longer on the table. Many people find toughing it out is too hard and not worth it over time. The best decision I made was to reinstate 1mg.

[ChessieCat]

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

[Shep]

7 hours ago, thedaydreamer said:

I am VERY versed on supplements and have an entire cabinet filled with dozens of high quality supplements,,,,,that I largely stare at,,,,,,,I just take 2g fish oil, 5k vit d, 1g c, and 50bil probiotic everyday

at night I throw in pharma gaba and cbd oil, 400mg mag glycinate

 

 

GABA supplements can complicate benzo withdrawal and your vitamin D is high, which may be causing problems (some people find it stimulating during withdrawal). 

 

Please use the search box or google "survivingantidepressants.org" + "[name of supplement]" to research your supplements. 

 

23 hours ago, Shep said:

Please update your signature to reflect your on/off antidepressant use. Your signature currently states your AD use ended May 2019. Please provide a timeline for when exactly you were on and off, as well as the doses each time. This will help us have a better timeline of your drug history. 

 

Account - Settings - Create or Edit Your Signature

 

 

This information is still needed. 

 

7 hours ago, thedaydreamer said:

I thought about that,,,,,but here we go again on the hampster wheel of meds that I am trying to get off of,,,,what would I reinstate to? how would that look?   2.5 celexa maybe ? for how long? only to taper from that?

 

 You may not need 2.5 mg, you could start smaller than than and see how you do. Without daily drug and symptoms notes (see ChessieCat's post here), we won't be able to give you any more than general feedback.