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lexapoison: 3 weeks off Lexapro / escitalopram

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Shep
2 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Thanks, Shep. If .08mg is what is advisable then I’ll do it. I was thinking something lower, like .05mg but you know best. 

 

Lex, if you think .05 mg is best, you may want to drop that low. 

 

If this is an adverse reaction, then you're right that you need to get it low and possibly even come off. 

 

That new symptom with numb genitals is concerning and very likely is related to the AD. 

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lexapoison

I will seriously consider dropping to .05mg tomorrow then. The numb genitals feeling I’m getting isn’t as strong as when I was on the celexa those few days but it’s definitely there. Everything still works fine in that area, it’s just like there’s a numb sensation leading into my genitals which is worrying. 

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Shep

Please post how you do on .05 mg Lexapro. 

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lexapoison

My psych gave me liquid Lexapro. I really really want off the Ativan.

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Shep
10 hours ago, lexapoison said:

My psych gave me liquid Lexapro.

 

I wouldn't recommend transitioning to this right now, Lex. Right now you should be focusing on getting on a lower dose and possibly coming off.  Transitioning to prescription liquid from a homemade liquid from a pill needs to be done gradually, usually recommended at 25% increments. 

 

You may be dealing with an adverse reaction. 

 

 

10 hours ago, lexapoison said:

I really really want off the Ativan.

 

You'll need to work with your doctor to do this, not an online forum. We're going in circles with this. 

 

You also haven't posted a drug and symptoms journal since Saturday. We need this every day. 

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lexapoison

Sorry I missed a day of notes. It was a rough day. But here’s the notes for Monday.

 

Sunday did not really sleep. Was about 630am when I started to dose off some.

 

930am: Awake with intense anxiety raging through my chest that makes me toss and turn.

130pm: Took .07mg of Lexapro.

2pm: Got out of bed. Had been tossing and turning with anxiety since about 930am.

230pm: On the way to psych appointment. Strong anxiety.

3pm: At psych. He prescribed me liquid Lexapro I told him I was taking 1mg. He said if I’m getting a numb penis, I’m feeling hot and sweaty then Lexapro is probably not for me. 
4pm: Foggy mind, horrible thoughts and a ton of anxiety on way home from psych. Went to two pharmacies trying to get the liquid Lexapro. Anxiety through the roof. Have been feeling extremely upset as of late as well. Ate some food.

5pm: Had an outburst of yelling and crying. Just feel extremely overwhelmed. I just wish I knew I was taking the right steps to get better.

6pm: Took .125mg of Ativan. Go to play video games. Feeling anxiety but a bit calmer.

10pm: Eat feeling the same, just tiny less on edge.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. Try to relax some. 
12pm: Anxiety still pretty strong im just more accepting of things after I take the Ativan and it’s a little tiny bit easier to cope.

1am: Symptoms still strong just a bit easier to cope.

 

So today I took .07mg of Lexapro. I feel like the numbness in my genitals has gone down maybe a tiny amount. I also feel a headache in my forehead that feels like a light burning and tight. SI has also been a bit better as of late. Still get it though.
 

I’m really apprehensive about quitting the lexapro entirely as I’ve noticed a lot of benefits. The only thing is I’m not sure of if it’s the RI that has made me better or I’ve just gotten better over time.

 

DP/DR, headaches, light, sound and food sensitives, anhedonia, fear and vision sensitivities have all been a bit better since RI. I’d hate to go back to a place where getting food from a drive thru seems like the wildest ride of my life because of the dp/dr or having so much fear that I’m scared to go use the restroom. 
 

Main symptoms as of late. Extreme anxiety and panic that physically feels like a burning in my chest and even sometimes like a knife stabbing my chest, and then a constant just ugly state of mind where everything just seems so bad and nothing seems worth it. I’ve also been feeling angry. 

 

Things id like to see get better by lowering RI dose would be:

Burning in body 

Feeling hot and sweaty

Numb feeling in my genitals area

SI

Some of the anxiety and panic 

The now much louder tinnitus
Sleep

Constant memories popping in my head

 

 

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Shep
20 hours ago, lexapoison said:

So today I took .07mg of Lexapro. I feel like the numbness in my genitals has gone down maybe a tiny amount. I also feel a headache in my forehead that feels like a light burning and tight. SI has also been a bit better as of late. Still get it though.
 

I’m really apprehensive about quitting the lexapro entirely as I’ve noticed a lot of benefits. The only thing is I’m not sure of if it’s the RI that has made me better or I’ve just gotten better over time.

 

You've tapped into something really key here - it's possible that some of your improvements are coming from being away from the much higher dose you were on back in May when you had an adverse reaction. So the "gotten better over time" may be very true. 

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lexapoison
6 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

You've tapped into something really key here - it's possible that some of your improvements are coming from being away from the much higher dose you were on back in May when you had an adverse reaction. So the "gotten better over time" may be very true. 


I am willing to try and discontinue the RI if need be and see how I do. I just know I’ve felt improvements particularly a couple of weeks after the RI, I’m just not sure if it’s because of the RI or just coincidence. The only thing that worries me is my symptoms worsening back to how they were if I discontinue the RI as I don’t think stopping, then starting back up again is a good idea if they do.

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Shep

What do you think about holding the Lexapro where it's at for a few days and continuing to move the Ativan? 

 

And then after a couple of days, reassess. 

 

Getting the Lexapro low enough that you don't have adverse reaction symptoms but at the same time, helping with withdrawal, is the goal. You're going to be the best judge of that and you're doing an excellent job with your notes. Not making any dosing changes with the Lexapro for several days will give your nervous system a chance to register this dose and your mind/body will give you the feedback you need to make a decision. 

 

It takes 4 days for your nervous system to register the change and it can take several weeks to completely adjust, so it may be a bit bumpy. If the adverse reaction symptoms get worse, then you'll definitely want to either reduce the dose or come off completely. Giving your nervous system time to register the dose and your mind/body to provide feedback may be very helpful. 

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lexapoison

Another tough night of sleep. Didn’t fall asleep until probably 530-6am.

 

10am: Woke up. Anxiety not too bad but having problems falling back to sleep.

1pm: tossed and turned in bed until now with anxiety steadily increasing since 10am.

130pm: Take .07mg of Lexapro.

2pm: Feeling not completely the worst but still feeling completely and utterly awful. High anxiety and ugly thoughts and fear has been a bit higher lately. Go to get food.

3pm: Ate and hanging out on couch. Anxiety and ugly thoughts high. Very agitated.
4pm: Same. Lately around this time (3-5pm) I start getting upset at anything and everything for no reason. So unlike me.

5pm: Same symptoms high. Take .125mg of Ativan. 
6pm: Go to play video games. Maybe a teeny bit calmer if anything at all.

10pm: Stopped playing video games. Was good to get away for a bit. Not that I feel that much better when I play but it helps keep me distracted.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. 
12pm: Feel a bit calmer and tired, but almost the same. 
2am: Same. Symptoms still raging just feel a bit calmer and tired. Ready for bed hopefully.

 

SI has been a bit  better these past couple of days although it’s not gone by any means. Numb genitals feeling also feels a tiny bit better. Crying definitely better. Pacing better. Not sure about the he burning body and the hot/sweats yet though. Tinnitus still really loud. Sometimes throughout the day I fee like I’ve made some noticeable improvements in some things from just a few weeks ago but some moments are worse then I’ve ever felt. Anxiety was less today too but still raging for most of the day.

 

 Thanks 

 

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lexapoison

Yeah I think holding the Lexapro at .07mg for at least a few more days to see if some of my possible adverse reaction symptoms get better while continuing moving the Ativan is the right thing to do right now. If the adverse reaction symptoms go away then I hold. If they don’t go away I’d like to make one more stop at .05mg before jumping off. If they get worse I jump off from .07mg. 
 

Can I start taking the liquid Lexapro I got prescribed?

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lexapoison

Forgot to mention appetite has been better these past couple of days too which is nice as I’ve been losing weight fast. 

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Shep
5 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Can I start taking the liquid Lexapro I got prescribed?

 

No, please don't start the liquid Lexapro right now. If you have a reaction to it, you won't know if it's the new version of Lexapro or if the adverse reaction is getting worse.

 

If you find that the reinstatement works and you wish to continue with it, then you may want to switch over. But at that point, you'll switch over gradually. 

 

So I'd save the liquid version until you're sure you want to continue with the Lexapro. 

 

2 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Forgot to mention appetite has been better these past couple of days too which is nice as I’ve been losing weight fast. 

 

Great to hear, Lex. 

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lexapoison
2 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

No, please don't start the liquid Lexapro right now. If you have a reaction to it, you won't know if it's the new version of Lexapro or if the adverse reaction is getting worse.

 

If you find that the reinstatement works and you wish to continue with it, then you may want to switch over. But at that point, you'll switch over gradually. 

 

So I'd save the liquid version until you're sure you want to continue with the Lexapro. 

 

 

Great to hear, Lex. 


Okie dokie.

 

Thanks, Shep.

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lexapoison

Again didn’t fall asleep until probably about 6am. 
 

10am: Wake up slight anxiety. It then starts building up to an intensity I don’t think I’ve had in the mornings before. It burns my chest and all I can do is toss and turn around. It’s really bad.

1pm: Anxiety is through the roof, get out of bed.

130pm: Eat some food and take .07mg of Lexapro.
330pm: Horrible mood starts where everything makes me mad and I’m just angry. (This is new starting these past couple of days.)

4pm: Been sitting on couch, very high anxiety.  Take .125mg of Ativan.

5pm: Still on couch intense anxiety.

530pm: Phone fall from ex girlfriend, she says we can be friends which is nice. Get up to take shower. 
6pm: Out of shower my head starts to feel really physically funny, it becomes hard to think and get really high anxiety on couch. My anxiety is so high that I finally notice how high it’s been and have a full blown panic attack like i don’t think I’ve had before. Eyes super blurry, heavy breathing, body numb, sweating a lot, full blown panic attack. 
7pm: Leave to my aunts. While driving I’m having high anxiety and have a horrible attitude where everything makes me very mad. I start trembling (head and body) and yelling in the car and some crying. I feel like my body is craving Ativan is this possible if I just took some a few hours ago?The anxiety is so high it makes my body feel numb and my chest burn.

8pm: Get to aunts and go get food feel calmer.

9pm: Back at aunts calmer.

10pm: lay in bed anxiety high.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. Anxiety high.

2am: Anxiety has been high since taking the Ativan. Don’t feel a difference I don’t think. So much anxiety it burns my chest and makes my body feel numb.

 

So for today my main symptom was anxiety as you can see. It was so strong that I didn’t even really notice my other symptoms, it was almost masking them. I almost feel like if I didn’t have the anxiety today I would actually have not felt the worst. Can this intense anxiety be from the Ativan even though I’ve been taking some earlier to avoid interdose wd? How come I didn’t feel better either time I took it today? Could it be just a phase I’m in from my Lexapro wd? From lowering my RI? I feel like I crave Ativan (could be in my head though) and I believe it’s from the Ativan but who knows. This intensity of anxiety that is numbing my body and burning my chest is insane. I hope we can figure out what’s causing this and I can work on it to get better.

 

SI bit better. Numb genitals pretty much the same I think as yesterday. Burning body is same or worse. Tinnitus bad. Anxiety worse it’s ever been. The anxiety is becoming so physical now, I feel like it’s almost numbing my body it’s so strong.

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Shep
57 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

130pm: Eat some food and take .07mg of Lexapro.
330pm: Horrible mood starts where everything makes me mad and I’m just angry. (This is new starting these past couple of days.)

 

57 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

SI bit better. Numb genitals pretty much the same I think as yesterday. Burning body is same or worse. Tinnitus bad. Anxiety worse it’s ever been. The anxiety is becoming so physical now, I feel like it’s almost numbing my body it’s so strong.

 

 

What do you think about lowering the Lexapro again? 

 

For information on anger, please see:

 

Dealing with anger during SSRI withdrawal

 

59 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Could it be just a phase I’m in from my Lexapro wd? From lowering my RI? I feel like I crave Ativan (could be in my head though) and I believe it’s from the Ativan but who knows. This intensity of anxiety that is numbing my body and burning my chest is insane. I hope we can figure out what’s causing this and I can work on it to get better.

 

1 hour ago, lexapoison said:

10pm: lay in bed anxiety high.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. Anxiety high.

2am: Anxiety has been high since taking the Ativan. Don’t feel a difference I don’t think. So much anxiety it burns my chest and makes my body feel numb.

 

It looks like you had high anxiety prior to taking the Ativan. 

 

I'm not sure the high anxiety is coming from the Ativan but since Ativan was able to help some in the past, your brain is looking to it for more help than it's able to give now.

 

If the Lexapro is causing an adverse reaction, this could make you "crave" Ativan. Many people end up on benzos because doctors prescribe them for people having adverse antidepressant reactions instead of getting the person off the offending drug. 

 

The fact that your body is feeling numb from the intense anxiety could be coming from the Lexapro, which is building up in your system. SSRIs "work" by numbing the body. 

 

Since you didn't have this symptom prior to the Lexapro reinstatement, I would bet on this coming from the Lexapro. It may be time to reduce down to .05 mg. 

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lexapoison

I am willing to drop down to .05mg If you think it’s best. Like I said a lot of my symptoms were pretty good today except for the insane anxiety and panic attack that I had which leads me to believe I’m stabilizing some but I just keep getting hit with different symptoms out of the blue from who knows what. The anxiety has been steadily rising over the past couple of weeks I feel though.

 

So just to be sure you really don’t think this insane anxiety and panic is related to the Ativan, but is related to the Lexapro? Is this not common with interdose wd or maybe my body was used to getting .5mg at once and now that’s it’s spread apart it doesn’t like this and it’s adjusting? No idea just brainstorming. Cause the way I felt today was very similar to when I quit vaping nicotine. A strong anxiety that brought on physical symptoms that also made me crave the drug, though not to the extent I felt today.

 

I was convinced it’s from the Ativan, the only thing that gets me thinking otherwise is how I had the panic attack after I took the .125mg... I feel like if it was Ativan related I would have at least felt slightly better after taking some. But like I said maybe my body is used to getting .5mg all at once and it’s adjusting?

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lexapoison

@Shep I think I’m going to take .03mg.

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Shep
21 hours ago, lexapoison said:

So just to be sure you really don’t think this insane anxiety and panic is related to the Ativan, but is related to the Lexapro?

 

In over 5 years of being on benzo forums, I've never seen anyone go physically numb from moving an Ativan dose a few hours.  But going numb is common with SSRIs. 

 

Look at your signature - for both ADs you have "adverse reaction". This is from your first post on the forum: 

 

On 8/3/2019 at 4:28 PM, lexapoison said:

Long story short I started lexapro at 10mg a few days later, and so it begins. I’m going to try to keep it as “brief” as I possibly can.

 

1st week was horrible I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, increased anxiety, headaches, numb genitals and started getting these scary emotions that send me into a panic. I went to the ER it got so bad and was given 10 Ativan to take as neeeded and was told to keep taking the lexapro until I could get ahold of a primary doctor or psychiatrist and that it was just anxiety.

 

 

12 hours ago, lexapoison said:

@Shep I think I’m going to take .03mg.

 

I think this is a good idea. Let us know how you do. 

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lexapoison

Hard time falling asleep again.

 

10am: Wake up anxiety starts building.

1pm: Been tossing and turning with intense anxiety burning my chest. Get out of bed.

130pm: Eat something. Feeling bearable. 
2pm: Take .03mg of Lexapro. 
3pm: At my aunts on couch. Anxiety. Urge to cry.

330pm: Take .125mg of Ativan.

4pm: My daily panic time. Really bad mood starts. Have a strong panic attack and start crying. Not as bad as yesterday. Akathisia starts to kick in.

5pm: On couch. Akathisia can’t stop moving. Body burning, feeling hot and sweaty. Strong anxiety.

6pm: Same as above. 
630pm: Go out to get food. Strong anxiety and some panic.

8pm: Back home. Strong anxiety and panic body really burning and I’m getting hot flashes and sweating when it’s not hot.

9pm: Same as above

10pm: Go lay down. Some anxiety.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. Same as above.

12pm: Same as above.

1am: Feel no different. 
2am: Ready for bed. Anxiety mediocre but high.

 

So my mom and I have noticed that starting at around 3-4pm I start getting in a really bad mood and my anxiety and panic really starts to kick in. It happened today again and with it came akathisia for the remainder of the day. Could not stop twisting and turning when I was sitting down. It’s been consistent lately that I get in a bad mood and really anxious with panic around this time and the only other consistent thing I do around that time is usually take my Lexapro a few hours before. I wonder if they are correlated. 
 

The whole day my body has been burning worse than ever before. Also feeling hot and sweatier worse than before when it’s not even hot out. This hot and sweaty feeling along with the burning in the body all came along with the reinstatement.

 

Again anxiety and panic have been through the roof. Worse than it’s ever been during my WD. It burns my chest at all times and numbs my body at times.

 

Good news is SI is better after lowering dose. I still get some when times get tough but it’s quicker and no more visualizing and thinking about it all day. Numb genitals seem a bit better. Appetite better.
 

I’m definitely better than I was weeks ago, I could not step outside of my house but the anxiety and panic have become extreme and all day. Also not too happy that my body feels like it’s being chemically burned. It doesn’t hurt, I just know it can’t be good. Also not sure why my sleep has taken such a big hit lately. I was sleeping pretty good just a little while ago.

 

indecisive of holding at .03mg or hopping off the Lexapro at the moment.

 

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lexapoison
1 hour ago, Shep said:

 

In over 5 years of being on benzo forums, I've never seen anyone go physically numb from moving an Ativan dose a few hours.  But going numb is common with SSRI


This is exactly what I was looking for. I didn’t know if it was a common thing with benzos or not. Thank you.

 

1 hour ago, Shep said:

This is from your first post on the forum:


Wow. Literally all of the symptoms I’m having now after RI except for the headaches which it has actually helped tremendously. Just wow.. My mind is blown. I’m going to have quit the RI if these symptoms don’t get better at .03mg very  soon.

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lexapoison

@Shep Thank You.

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Shep

You're welcome, Lex. Let us know how you do on the reduced dose. 

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lexapoison

Did not sleep well again. Fell asleep probably around 530am.
10am: Woke up. Anxiety starts slowly kicking in. Less burning in in chest which is nice but still high anxiety. Lots of memories popping in head.

1pm: Anxiety had me tossing and turning for hours. Got up and ate. 
2pm: Took .03 mg of Lexapro.

3pm: Back to bed playing mobile games on phone still at aunts house. Anxiety. Lots of random memories popping in head.

330pm: Bad mood starts kicking in, not as bad. Take .125 mg of Ativan. Back to bed playing mobile games on phone. 
5pm: Lots of anxiety and slight panic.
6pm: Get up to have dinner. Feeling not the worst.

7pm: Leave to come home. Fear when I’m leaving. Start feeling like I’m crazy on the drive home. I think I try and distract myself all day then when I’m not distracted reality hits me and makes me start panicking. 
8pm: Get home feeling not the worst. Anxiety. 
9pm: Playing video games with friends. Anxiety.

11am: Take .375mg of Ativan. Anxiety.

12am: Feeling more tired but still high anxiety. Ready to go lay down. Burning in chest.

1am: Calmer but still high anxiety. Burning in chest.

 

Today was a better day. Anxiety was a little bit lower, burning in chest was lower and only started later on towards the night time, numb genitals feeling better, burning sensations in body was less. Some SI today but no where near how it was just a week ago.

 

A lot of random memories popping in my head today and just a general feeling of being crazy when I’m not distracted. Also everything sends me into a quick panic. If I hear a song, if someone tells me I need to wash my car, if a friend mentions we should try a different game, if my mom gets a text message everything sends me into a intense but quick panic which goes away quickly. 
 

It seems the lower I go on the Lexapro the better I’m doing. I wonder if .03mg is going to be my number or if I’m going to have to hop off completely. It seems the biggest thing now is the intense burning in my chest from the anxiety that not even the Ativan takes away. I don’t think my brain is happy I’ve changed my ri so much recently but I’m hoping that I’m at such a low dose and making changes of .02 -. 04mg it isn’t such a big deal but I’m sure my brain isn’t happy with it.
 

Is there a chance of me stabilizing and doing well with the path I’m taking? Am I taking all the right steps?

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

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lexapoison

I’m really going to need some help/input here. Things have really taken a turn on me. Anxiety has become debilitating. 

 

Didn’t sleep well again.

 

10am: Woke up with very bad anxiety. 
1pm: Got out of bed could not take the anxiety anymore.

130pm: Go to get food. Feeling kind of alright high anxiety.
2pm: Take .03mg of Lexapro and .125mg of Ativan. 
3pm: Panic attack anxiety is really high. Akathisia, crying, restlessness. Lots of pacing and moving around.

4pm: Same.
5pm: Playing video games feeling anxiety high in background.

6pm: Another bout of akathisia, high anxiety and restlessness pacing.
7pm: Anxiety still picking up. 

8pm: Anxiety is super high trying to stay calm. Start panicking.

9-11pm: I’ve ever had anxiety this high. It’s constant and nonstop. My vision is blurry my chest is burning I can’t think energy is through the roof. I don’t even feel my Lexapro wd for the most part it’s all just intense anxiety it gives me goosebumps and it’s even hurting my stomach it’s so strong.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. 

12pm: Feel a bit better but still insane anxiety.

1pm: Anxiety still very high don’t know how I’m going to go to sleep. 
2am: In bed trying to go to sleep. Very high level of anxiety physically and mentally debilitating. It’s pretty much the only symptom I feel because it’s just too intense.

 

 

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lexapoison

Anxiety still going sky high debilitating it’s 430 am can’t sleep. Is this Lexapro or Ativan? I feel like it’s the Ativan but taking it doesn’t make it better so maybe it’s not.

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Shep
On 10/12/2019 at 7:29 AM, lexapoison said:

2pm: Took .03 mg of Lexapro.

3pm: Back to bed playing mobile games on phone still at aunts house. Anxiety. Lots of random memories popping in head.

330pm: Bad mood starts kicking in, not as bad. Take .125 mg of Ativan. Back to bed playing mobile games on phone. 

...........

Today was a better day. Anxiety was a little bit lower, burning in chest was lower and only started later on towards the night time, numb genitals feeling better, burning sensations in body was less. Some SI today but no where near how it was just a week ago.
...........

It seems the lower I go on the Lexapro the better I’m doing. 

 

 

3 hours ago, lexapoison said:

I’m really going to need some help/input here. Things have really taken a turn on me. Anxiety has become debilitating. 


2pm: Take .03mg of Lexapro and .125mg of Ativan. 

 

 

I've copied excerpts of your last two journals. You're doing an EXCELLENT job with these, Lex. Very descriptive of what's going on.

 

It looks like the sudden uptick in symptoms may be due to taking the Lexapro and Ativan at the same time. There is a moderate interaction between the two. While the doses are low for both drugs, your nervous system is very raw right now, so you may be feeling the interaction. 

 

You may want to take the Ativan tomorrow at 12 noon, instead of 1 PM. This will space it out more from the Lexapro and perhaps help with any adverse reaction. 

 

On 10/12/2019 at 7:29 AM, lexapoison said:

A lot of random memories popping in my head today and just a general feeling of being crazy when I’m not distracted. Also everything sends me into a quick panic. If I hear a song, if someone tells me I need to wash my car, if a friend mentions we should try a different game, if my mom gets a text message everything sends me into a intense but quick panic which goes away quickly. 

 

This is a sign that you're nervous system is hyper-reacting to outside stimuli. 

 

But keep in mind, it's also reacting to inside stimuli, as well. I'm referring to diet here. 

 

How is your diet? What kinds of foods are you eating? Many of us with nervous systems this compromised find that certain foods are very stimulating and cause severe anxiety and panic. These can include:

 

Are you eating clean and healthy throughout the day? Drinking plenty of water? 

 

Just like your nervous system is hyper-reacting to the most benign occurrences throughout the day, your nervous system is hyper-alerting to what you consume in the way of food and drink. 

 

 Also, if you're skipping meals, you may be getting symptoms of low blood sugar, which include severe anxiety. 

 

Are you waiting until the afternoon to eat your first meal every day? If so, you may want to pick a very healthy breakfast and eat first thing in the morning. Something with protein like scrambled eggs and avoid sugar and caffeine. The more you can cook at home and know exactly what you're eating, the better. 

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lexapoison

@Shep Thank you. I don’t mean to bother but I’m in real real bad shape. The anxiety is completely debilitating it’s making me crawl up the walls it’s literally a 9.8/10. It’s 630am and it’s not letting up but getting worst. It’s so intense it’s overwhelming it’s making me crawl up the walls. Do I just stop the Lexapro? Can it be from the Lexapro/interaction with Lexapro and Ativan causing me an anxiety this intense? This is not just a small uptick in symptoms it’s a complete new symptom of debilitating anxiety that is constant.  It has been getting worse since I started moving my dose.

 

Is this not a normal reaction for a person taking Ativan for as long as I have been? I don’t know anything about benzos but this is so intense unlike any anxiety I’ve experienced before by a complete long shot. My ears are also clogged and I’m feeling super sensitive to sounds again. Not possible for me to sleep.
 

 

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lexapoison

@Shep
Also I’ve been eating really clean. No processed foods or sugar. I’m eating a decent amount too as of late. 

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Shep
7 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Do I just stop the Lexapro?

 

Yes, I would stop the Lexapro.

 

It may take awhile for this to resolve. It really sounds like you're dealing more with an adverse reaction than with AD withdrawal and adverse reactions can be very powerful and do a lot of damage, but there's no reason to think you won't recover. 

 

 

3 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

@Shep
Also I’ve been eating really clean. No processed foods or sugar. I’m eating a decent amount too as of late. 

 

Thanks, Lex. This is very good to read. 

 

If you can, keep taking a daily walk in the sun every day. This is good for getting natural vitamin D. 

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lexapoison

Sorry about the late post for yesterday’s notes. I knocked out to sleep really early but here are the notes from yesterday:

 

i did not sleep one minute last night. Tossed and turned with anxiety the whole night.

 

1pm: Got out of bed. Feeling really out of it. 

2pm: Eat. Anxiety. Take .125mg of Ativan.

3pm-7pm: High anxiety, panic moments and crying I feel really out of it like I’m losing control. Unlike I’ve ever felt during my wd. Just doing really really bad. Primary symptom is intense anxiety.

7pm: Anxiety really really started to pick up. Numb penis, numb body at times, goosebumps on back of thighs, ears completely clogged because anxiety is just so high. Go to play video games to try and distract.

10pm: Symptoms still the same. I haven’t slept in a really long time scared I won’t be able to sleep tonight either because anxiety is just too high.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan: Feel the same.

12am: Feel calmer but still almost the same.

1230am: Wow. I am completely exhausted and anxiety is much lower. Body is numb. I closed my eyes for a second on the couch and started to fall asleep which is really unlike me.

1am:  I feel SO tired and anxiety is lower. Body feels numb still. Going to lay down.

 

Today was another intense day of anxiety. Like I said it’s so strong that some of my body has a numb feeling to it, it gives me stomachaches, blurs my vision and burns my chest really bad and it’s constant. I don’t know why the Ativan had such a strong effect on me last night I’m having a really hard time measuring the Ativan on the scale so maybe I took a tiny bit more than .375mg without knowing? All I know is about an hr and a half later my anxiety was much lower (it hasn’t done this in the past so much) and I was completely exhausted ready to fall asleep as soon as I closed my eyes (again this hasn’t been happening so much lately either). What a rollercoaster.

 

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lexapoison

Wow the Ativan last night really really knocked me out. Took away my anxiety and just knocked me out. Fell asleep around 1am as soon as I closed my eyes. 2 hrs before I didn’t think it was gna be possible for me to fall asleep.

 

10am: Wake up. Dread, not so much anxiety.

11am: Anxiety starting to pick up. Dread.

12pm: Same. 
1pm: Get up feel completely different than I have been. Just really really spaced out and negative thoughts. Start to feel some slight fear about random things and weird vision, like blurry and brightness issues.

2pm: Take .125mg is Ativan and leave to get food. 
230pm: Eat. Less anxiety than the days before but feel really different hard to put it into words almost like I’m high or something. Want to cry because I’m overwhelmed. I really hate my life at the moment.

3pm: Stomachache. Been getting stomachaches after I eat lately.

4pm: Go to play video games.

5pm: Again feeling really weird just really hard to describe. Less anxiety, though I’m still having heavy anxiety it’s not debilitating like it has been. 
6pm: Symptoms picking up. Akathisia, feel like I’m in a dark place. Anxiety, some panic. 
7pm: Same.

8pm: Go to the living room and start panicking to my mom tell her I feel high and drugged and I hate being on Ativan. She says I need it that I wouldn’t have survived without it and I’ll be able to get off when the time is right. I have a hard time controlling my body, my hands, my facial expressions like an inner restlessness from all the suffering. I’ve had this for a while but it feels more intense today. Feel really hot and uncomfortable.
830pm: Eat. Feeling the same.

9pm: Same. Going back and fourth between feeling “okay I can do this” to panic, dread and despair. Still feeling high, hot and in a dark place. Anxiety still piercing my chest like a spear I don’t know why I have to have this physical anxiety symptom.

10pm: I feel completely different today. Feel like I’m in a dark place it’s a very odd and scary feeling. It’s got to be because the Lexapro is leaving my body. Some SI.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan. Feeling the same.

12pm: Feel the same maybe a bit calmer.

1am: Still feel the same just a bit calmer

2am: Still feel the same ready for bed.

 

It’s incredible how much my symptoms have changed these past few days. I went from my almost typical wd, to a few days of insane debilitating anxiety to the point I was considering going to the hospital for it because it was so strong and was scared it wasn’t going to get better, to now this where I’m at today where anxiety has been some what lower but just feel like I’m in a ugly, dark place, hard to describe feeling but it’s scary and makes me panic.

 

Numb genitals is somewhat better, SI is better, burning in body is better, headache is “fine” can’t complain could be worse, anxiety is better than it’s been these past few days but still bad and stabs my chest constantly, some vision problems are coming back, panic is still there, been getting stomachaches after eating which is new, clogged ears still a thing and tinnitus loud all day.
 

I wonder why the Ativan hit me SO hard last night. It literally knocked me out, it was crazy and I slept for like 9 hours without any interruptions.

 

Wanted to note the things that trigger my intense panics are: thoughts about my ex girlfriend (this is the worst it cuts me like a knife I think because it’s so fresh), thoughts of my symptoms and how bad my days are (I try not to dwell on this one so much anymore) and another big one is thinking about me being on Ativan and not knowing anything of what to expect as far as how long I’m going to be on it, when I’m going to start tapering, how long tapering is going to take, what my symptoms are going to be like, I also heard you can never drink again after being on Ativan. All of this unknown really really scares me.

 

Today was much much different than yesterday and though it was extremely hard and barely able to cope at moments it was better than having the constant debilitating anxiety I was having.

 

How long until you think the Lexapro is out  of my body so I can’t start stabilizing without the drug?

 

Thank you

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Altostrata

When did you stop taking any Prozac?

 

What exactly is your Ativan schedule?

 

If I were you, I'd change the channel from thinking of the topics that cause you anxiety.

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Shep
24 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

When did you stop taking any Prozac?

 

Lex just removed the small amount of Lexapro Sunday or Monday. 

 

3 hours ago, lexapoison said:

Wow the Ativan last night really really knocked me out. Took away my anxiety and just knocked me out. Fell asleep around 1am as soon as I closed my eyes. 2 hrs before I didn’t think it was gna be possible for me to fall asleep.

 

Sounds like the decision to stop the Lexapro was a good one.

 

You likely will still have insomnia issues, but this is a very good sign that you CAN sleep. Your brain is not broken. 

 

Also, having 75% of the drug to use for sleep may work very well and let the other 25% help with any interdose withdrawal issues. Hopefully you can stabilize without other changes going forward. 

 

3 hours ago, lexapoison said:

How long until you think the Lexapro is out  of my body so I can’t start stabilizing without the drug?

 

Here is a half-life calculator:

 

Drug Half Life Calculator

 

The half-life of Lexapro is 27 - 32 hours. You can plug in the numbers and see what the results are. 

 

However, just because it's out of your system, the trauma to the nervous system will still be ongoing for awhile. Please see:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

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lexapoison
3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Lex just removed the small amount of Lexapro Sunday or Monday. 

 

 

Sounds like the decision to stop the Lexapro was a good one.

 

You likely will still have insomnia issues, but this is a very good sign that you CAN sleep. Your brain is not broken. 

 

Also, having 75% of the drug to use for sleep may work very well and let the other 25% help with any interdose withdrawal issues. Hopefully you can stabilize without other changes going forward. 

 

 

Here is a half-life calculator:

 

Drug Half Life Calculator

 

The half-life of Lexapro is 27 - 32 hours. You can plug in the numbers and see what the results are. 

 

However, just because it's out of your system, the trauma to the nervous system will still be ongoing for awhile. Please see:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 


Thank you Shep.
 

I’m in very bad shape. Last night when I tried to go to sleep the anxiety and panic started tearing me up again, it comes over my body like a wave, it’s physical. Also, the inner restlessness, the need to keep moving and extremely loud tinnitus got really bad. It’s 11am and I didn’t sleep again. I feel so tired and my body is numb. These are all pretty new symptoms so I hope they clear up as quick as they came on. I’m very scared but really trying to stay positive. 

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lexapoison
4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

When did you stop taking any Prozac?

 

What exactly is your Ativan schedule?

 

If I were you, I'd change the channel from thinking of the topics that cause you anxiety.

I stopped taking .03 mg of Lexapro on Sunday as I felt it was helping some symptoms but bringing on new debilitating symptoms. 
 

I’ve been taking .125mg of Ativan at around 2pm and then .375mg of Ativan at around 11pm. 
 

I try not to dwell on those thoughts but they still come to me and even though they may be quick they are powerful.

 

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