Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 14, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 14, 2019 Hi Jlkdr Just a quick check in tonight. I hope your senior citizen is ok. They give us so much unconditional love, wish same could be said for people. You are doing really well and a model member. When do you leave for your daughters? Sassenach Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 15, 2019 Author Share Posted August 15, 2019 8/14/19 7:30 AM Awake feeling anxious, difficult night with senior dog again, Seem to go back to sleep easily after waking during the night, an improvement. Waiting for vet to call. 8:00 AM Losartan, krill oil 11:30 AM Lunch, weather heavy rain 2:00 PM Vet 3:00 PM Fisher Wallace Stimulator, felt well most of the day after getting up this morning 4:00 PM Snack 10:00 PM Bed time, Fisher Wallace, magnesium, .75 klonopin A good day, no anxiety through the day. Hi, Sassenach, I am leaving for my daughter’s next Tuesday. My senior girl Sophie is being treated for kennel cough. Her chest X-rays came out good. Clear. Whew! Thank you, jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted August 15, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 15, 2019 20 hours ago, Jlkdr said: Hi, Shep, I can’t say that I felt different when I quit taking additional sleep aid. I am not really sure. I just accepted that I needed to do it. If I felt any discomfort, it was temporary. I can tell my body is adjusting to .75 night time dose of Klonopin. Just have anxiety upon awakening. And randomly through the day. It sounds like you weren't dependent on the sleep aid, so that's good. I'm glad you came off it after only 10 days. 6 hours ago, Jlkdr said: A good day, no anxiety through the day. This is excellent news, Jlkdr. Even with the stress of having a sick pup, you are still stabilizing. This speaks to nervous system resiliency. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 15, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 15, 2019 Hi Jldkr 13 hours ago, Jlkdr said: A good day, no anxiety through the day. That is great when you have the stress of a sick friend. Good to hear her chest is clear. Sassenach Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 16, 2019 Author Share Posted August 16, 2019 8/15/19 Backslide 3:00 AM Woke up anxious, awake for 3 hrs, researched tree issues, tried to sleep but could not 6:00 AM Up to put dogs out 6:05 AM Back to bed, feel like I maybe slept? 7:30 AM Up for decaf coffee and bailey’s, krill oil, losartan, exchanged messages with others about senior standard poodle health issues 11:00 AM Out to work in yard 3:00 PM Finished yard, rested, hydrated throughout day with lemon water, stevia and green tea 6:00 PM Dinner 9:30 PM Bedtime, magnesium, .75 klonopin. Fisher Wallace stimulator Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted August 16, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 16, 2019 7 hours ago, Jlkdr said: 8/15/19 Backslide 3:00 AM Woke up anxious, awake for 3 hrs, researched tree issues, tried to sleep but could not Do you feel this was due to withdrawal or due to your recent stressors such as having a sick dog? I'm just asking because to see if you may have any interdose withdrawal issues at play. Please keep up with your drug and symptoms journal for a few more days to see if there's a pattern. Hopefully this is just a one-off and you'll go back to sleeping all night. Please remember to be consistent with the Fisher Wallace stimulator. I noticed you only did that once yesterday. It's hard to be consistent with the drug timings and the stimulator when you go into a wave, but if you can manage to stay with it, you'll feel better in the long run. Your nervous system is fighting for stability and consistency is very helpful for this. Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 16, 2019 Author Share Posted August 16, 2019 Ok thanks, Shep! It’s pretty normal for me to worry about things obsessively. Usually, when I work through one problem, I find another. I’ve worried like this since I was a child. Right now, because of my age and living situation, I’m worried about moving. I have no plan to move, but I need to get out of this huge house with all the expenses. Logistics with 4 dogs? Overwhelming. I’m here because my aging parents lived down the street, and I became their caretakers. They’re gone. Why am I here? I feel, have always felt, like I’m just on my own with no support system. I have never been really routine unless working. But now, I’m retired, 11years. I tried to go back to work, did for three years, but my lack of stability, anger, and anxiety make that impossible now. I cannot take orders from others. I’ve had two jobs since my mother died, and I just quit when things became too stressful. Before retiring, I worked 35 years in the same place where I was respected and appreciated. Always been very independent. After retiring, I took care of my elderly mother until her death. And then the cleaning out of her life and estate settling. So sad. I’ve cared for too many until death and after death. Very difficult. I miss my family, especially my mother. So many losses. I’ve had 4 long term relationships since my husband died in 1991, (I was 38) after a horrific battle with cancer, and they just crumbled. Last one (13 years) ended this past October 2018. Heartbroken. Abused klonopin after breakup. I just cannot stabilize it seems. Drugs have not helped. Or maybe I did not take them properly. I’m just sad. And anxious. Afraid to make any serious moves, to make any decisions, although from others’ perspectives, I’m doing well. I’m worried that I’ll be that same old person who needs drugs to function after I get off the meds. It’s terrifying. And then will I have burned bridges with my doctors? I don’t listen to their recommendations. They want to keep me on meds. I’ve been trying to be drug free for years. But I have always been sad and depressed and anxious. I’m confused. I’ll try to do things more consistently. I’ll make sure to use the Fisher Wallace twice a day. My upcoming trip will be anything but routine. I’m afraid to fly without klonopin. Afraid to leave my dogs. But I do want to see my daughter. I miss her every day. Sorry for this long tirade. Just feeling so sad. Feeling sorry for myself. I cry every day before I can pull myself together and function. I’m a mess. Truly. Thank you for all of your help! Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 16, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 16, 2019 Hi Jlkdr 3 hours ago, Jlkdr said: Sorry for this long tirade. Just feeling so sad. Feeling sorry for myself. I cry every day before I can pull myself together and function. I’m a mess. Truly. No you are not. Your body has been through hell and is taking time to recover but you are doing so well. 4 hours ago, Jlkdr said: And then will I have burned bridges with my doctors? I don’t listen to their recommendations. They want to keep me on meds. I’ve been trying to be drug free for years. Your doctors work for you, not the other way round and they have a duty of care. We all know they do not understand withdrawal so they are last ones you should concern yourself with. 4 hours ago, Jlkdr said: Afraid to leave my dogs But we both know how resilient they are, think of the fuss when you get back not the moment you leave. 4 hours ago, Jlkdr said: But I do want to see my daughter. Of course you do and it will be great. Try a little anticipation rather than trepidation. We all need to vent sometimes, get it off our chest, all part of the service. You are doing great, give yourself credit Sassenach Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 16, 2019 Author Share Posted August 16, 2019 Oh Sassenach, you are so wonderful! All of that is what I needed to know!! It gives me so much courage. I am going to do this!! I appreciate you and Shep so much!! Thank you, thank you! Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 16, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 16, 2019 You are so welcome, brave lady🤗 Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Ryder Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Quote I have been off of Prozac for a few months. On it, even at increased doses, it just seemed not to work for me anymore. I felt flat and disconnected, and I did disconnect from people as a result. I felt suicidal. I don’t know if that was related to the Prozac, but I could not see that it was making me feel better, although it did when I was younger. Now I still feel disconnected, but I also feel angry. Very angry and irritable. Anyone experience this?? I am tapering off of Klonopin now as well. Thanks for any help. Time to give yourself a break. SSRI's supress your emotions so everythings coming gushing out. That's to be expected. It's hard to let it all come up, but reflecting back to last year when i was pulled off of Zoloft in hospital, i can remember thinking that atleast i could cry because it had been a while (years even) that i had whilst taking AD's. I think i ended up happy that i was atleast human. I felt some emotion, and to be able to cry and whatnot. Also, I used to take Klonopin on the plane too couldn't fly on anything less than 4mg-6mg during that time. From what i remember, i needed it as i knew i wouldn't sleep either at the time. I didn't feel guilty bc i knew at one point in the future i would come down off it. 2008-2012: Cymbalta, Zyprexa, Valium (5 days supply), 2012 - Seroquel x 4 weeks C/T. 2014 - Seroquel x 2 Weeks C/T. Crossed to Risperidone 3mg for 6months until December. 2014 - Stopped Risperidone. Xfer > Anti-Depressant 200mg Zoloft and 6mg Clonazepam. 2018 - 150mg Clomipromine changed Anti-depressant. Tapered Benzo to 1mg Clonazepam. 2019 - xfer to 20mg Diazepam. Currently: Anafranil: 75mg. 17th Dec 2022 70mg. 27th Dec 22: 75mg, 14 January 23': 70mg. 16-26th January: 50mg (too fast drop no sleep). Jan 28th 2023: 70mg. 20 Feb 2023: 65mg. 11/06: 60mg 9/08: 55mg 15/08/23 : 50mg 3/03/2024: 60mg (Updose) Diazepam (V): 25th Oct 2019' 20mg. 22 Dec 19' 19mg. 04 Apr 2020' 18mg, 30 September 20' 17.5mg , 13 Nov 2020' 17mg. 01 January 2021: 16mg, 13th Aug 21' 15mg. 1st Nov' 2021 14.5mg. 1st Dec' 2021 14mg. 13 January 2022: 13.5mg, 11 Feb: 13mg. 11 April 22' 12.5mg, 12 May 22': 12mg, 6th September 2022: 11mg Valium. 9th October: 10.5mg, 25th Oct 10mg. 12 March 23: 9.5mg 2 April: 9.25mg 23 April: 9mg 12/05: 8.75 26/05: 8.5 12/09: 8.25 21/09: 8.5. 3/10: 8.25 17/10: 8mg 20th Nov Brassmonkey: (7.9.,7.8, 7.75) 5 Feb: 7.25mg. 23 Feb: 7mg *. Have tried to go at faster rate than 0.5mg but is currently too fast. Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 16, 2019 Author Share Posted August 16, 2019 Thank you, Ryder. That’s good to know. I do find myself crying so much, but I believe it’s all the suppressed grief. Your post helps me believe that. Very encouraging! What do you do to fly?? Do you take anything, or have you learned to fly without klonopin. Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted August 16, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 16, 2019 9 hours ago, Jlkdr said: It’s pretty normal for me to worry about things obsessively. Usually, when I work through one problem, I find another. I’ve worried like this since I was a child. Right now, because of my age and living situation, I’m worried about moving. I have no plan to move, but I need to get out of this huge house with all the expenses. Logistics with 4 dogs? Overwhelming. I’m here because my aging parents lived down the street, and I became their caretakers. They’re gone. Why am I here? This is true of many of us who end up on psych drugs, so it's time to learn some non-drug coping skills so you'll be able to come off these drugs and live your life drug free. Guided meditations that train your brain to detach from these kinds of thoughts are really good. Here is an example, but you can find many of these on YouTube. You may want to set up a playlist so you have them ready and waiting should you go into catastrophic thinking. Guided Meditation Deep sleep | anxiety and insomnia relief | relaxation before bedtime video (21 minutes) If you can learn to detach from your thoughts, to let them pass by like clouds in the sky or ignore them as if they are noisy neighbors and what they're saying is none of your business, you'll start to feel a sense of lightness of being. After all, exactly what good are these thoughts? They are heavy baggage and it's good to put them down and walk freely. Here are some helpful links to teach you how to do this: Dealing With Emotional Spirals Withdrawal causing intrusive or repetitive thoughts, rumination, and increased panic? Ways to cope with daily anxiety If all else fails, find some way of distracting yourself. Here are some ideas: "Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms Gratitude journals are also a great way of changing your thought patterns from worry to the good things that you are grateful for. Acceptance is another key part of this process. In fact, without acceptance, I'm not sure you can ever learn to let go of anxious thoughts. The process of acceptance is the process of letting go and not fighting. Just accepting that this is the way it is for now. And that's okay. Acceptance By doing this every day, you train your brain and these skills become automatic. Not having to carry around a head full of worries is a beautiful thing. 9 hours ago, Jlkdr said: I feel, have always felt, like I’m just on my own with no support system. This website is a great support system. You may want to visit other members' threads and see if there are people you have things in common with. And there are various other kinds of threads that you may like to read and post on. Relationships and social life Finding Meaning There's at least one pet section in the Off Topic area you may want to check out, along with many other interesting topics to explore. Off Topic Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 17, 2019 Author Share Posted August 17, 2019 Thank you, Ryder. That’s good to know. I do find myself crying so much, but I believe it’s all the suppressed grief. Your post helps me believe that. Very encouraging! What do you do to fly?? Do you take anything, or have you learned to fly without klonopin. Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 17, 2019 Author Share Posted August 17, 2019 8/16/19 I have so much reading of good stuff to do. Thank you, Shep! I’ll read when I go to bed. I seem to have lost the schedule I put in today. But my day started at 5 AM in preparation for my trip. I’m trying to get my dog into their sitter’s routine. I believe I slept last night. I can’t remember times anymore, but I had a routine day. It started off badly. Lots of anxiety, which seems normal for me upon awakening these days. I used the Fisher Wallace and took losartan and krill oil. I worked in the house and outside. I clipped and bathed dogs. Had dinner at 6 PM. I’m going to bed shortly at 10:00PM and will use Fisher Wallace and take .75 klonopin. I’m very grateful for so many things. I’m especially grateful for the folks on this site who are helping me. Sassenach, Shep. I’m still not too familiar with how things work here. I need to explore a bit. I do use meditations or binaural music on YouTube to go to sleep, unless something else on YouTube grabs my attention, like RV living or the report of someone’s NDE. 😊 I have many favorites saved so I can find them easily. I do appreciate the new meditation Shep shared. I have not used that one. I’ll listen tonight. Thank you all for everything you do!! I appreciate you!❤️ Sorry about losing my schedule. I’ll save others in Notes on my phone from now on. Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 18, 2019 Author Share Posted August 18, 2019 (edited) 8/17/19 Slept through night 5:00 AM Up with dogs, feeling anxious on wakening, decaf coffee, reading, Fisher Wallace 8:00 AM Walked dog at park, calming 9:15 AM Home again, losartan, krill oil 10:30 PM Beagle to vet for routine allergy injection 11:30 AM Home, feeling lightly anxious and bored, visiting friend 3:00 PM Dinner out 4:30 PM Watched movies, bored, anxious 8:25 PM Ibuprofen for lower back muscle pain 9:30 PM Bed, Fisher Wallace, 400 mg magnesium glycinate, .75 klonopin, listened to youtube to go to sleep Edited August 18, 2019 by ChessieCat resized font Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 18, 2019 Author Share Posted August 18, 2019 I am flying out to go visit my daughter. Any ideas for calming anxiety on flight? I usually take extra klonopin up to 3 mg. This will be my first time flying without. Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted August 18, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 18, 2019 8-Minute Fear of Flying Guided Meditation and Talk Down with Michelle video (8 minutes) From the description of the video: A fear of flying is quite common. It comes with the fear of not being in total control. The challenge of surrendering. This 8-minute meditation may be best with repetitive listening and make flying a better and more manageable experience. Even if you need a "rescue dose" of Klonopin, it's not the end of the world, only a reminder that you still have some work to do. And that's part of the process of coming off psychiatric drugs. Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 18, 2019 Author Share Posted August 18, 2019 Thank you so much, Shep!❤️ Very helpful!! I already feel my anxiety waning. I’ll start the meditation today. I can listen on flight as well! Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 18, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 18, 2019 Hi Jldkr Have a really great time, watch the video, close your eyes and imagine your daughter's delight in seeing a relaxed you.🤗 Sassenach Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 18, 2019 Author Share Posted August 18, 2019 Thank you so much!! Will do!❤️ Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 19, 2019 Author Share Posted August 19, 2019 (edited) 8/18/19 6:30 AM Up for coffee, losartan, krill oil 8:30 AM Repaired gutter leaks 9:00 AM Made preps in home to leave dogs, changed out area rugs etc, feeling bad, angry, short tempered, impatient, sad, crying 1:30 PM Feel debilitated, cannot describe this feeling, canceled book study group, daughter brought me lunch. I miss this daughter who lives here. She’s currently commuting to work out of town for a limited time. 3:00 PM Meditation, rest, reading surviving antidepressants.com forum posts about spiraling emotions. Recognized akathisia and morning dread. Recalled akathisia is what started my venture into heavy-duty psych drugs. It was the result of rebound effect of the Xanax I purchased online in 2004/2005. After reading the information on how long the process of tapering and feeling better will take, I’ve decided I will be dead before I feel alive again. I think I need to stop reading and look for YouTubes on meditation and brain healing. 6:30 PM Made it to bed already, feeling better 9:00 PM Fisher Wallace, 400 mg magnesium, .75 mg klonopin, listening to brain healing binaural music for sleep Edited August 19, 2019 by Shep reduced font size Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 19, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 19, 2019 Hi Jlkdr Can you repair my gutters please, helpless male. Have a great time. Sassenach Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 19, 2019 Author Share Posted August 19, 2019 Hahahahaha! Sassenach! You certainly could have done what I did. Just a little caulk and some Flex Seal. But climbing on that really tall ladder was very scary!! 😎🤣 Lol! You made my day! Jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 20, 2019 Author Share Posted August 20, 2019 8/19/19 5:00 AM Slept well, feel calm, listened to brain healing music through night. Fed dogs, coffee, krill oil, losartan, allergy med Zyrtec, confident my brain will heal 8:00 AM Packed and dressed, missing my dogs and daughter before I leave, read more forum info. 11:00 AM Therapy appt, shopping, banking etc, feel well. 2:00 PM Lunch, rested, doing nothing today. 7:45 PM In bed, feel calm, Fisher Wallace, 400 mg magnesium, .75 klonopin, listening to fear of flying meditation, brain healing music to sleep, will wake at 3:00 AM. Waking early around 5 AM diminishes waking anxiety. I can nap later if needed. Going to plan early morning regimen for return from Maryland: walk dog, work out, routine daily tasks. Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 20, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 20, 2019 Wow. Hope it continues. I live in a bungalow i.e. a single story house. It takes me twice as long to work on my gutters as it does on a two story house¿?????????????????????????????????????????????¿????? I have to dig a hole to put the ladder in 😰 Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 20, 2019 Author Share Posted August 20, 2019 Sassenach, that’s a very good safety precaution! Good job! 😊 Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 21, 2019 Author Share Posted August 21, 2019 Very good day 8/20/2019 3:15 AM Up for day, no morning Fisher Wallace routine or meds 3:40 AM Left for airport 6:00 AM Calm, no anxiety for flight, enjoyed flight 11:30 AM Arrived in Baltimore, met daughter and son-in-law, drove to Ocean City, Maryland 2:00 PM Arrived in Ocean City 4:00 PM Dinner 6:00 PM Stopped at store, then home, movies ?11:00 PM Bed, Fisher Wallace, 400 mg magnesium, .75 klonopin, feel good, fun day Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 21, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 21, 2019 Enjoyed the flight, brilliant I am so happy for you, Have a great time. Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 21, 2019 Author Share Posted August 21, 2019 Thank you, Sass! On my mind... I read a book years ago, Warning: Psychiatry Can Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health by William Glasser, M.D. It’s been a long time since I read it, but Dr. Glasser asserts that all mental illness diagnoses have at the root unhappiness. Unhappy people. I thought it was an oversimplification when I read it. But I have wondered. I feel very happy here visiting my daughter 1200 miles from home. My symptoms are much reduced. I have been unhappy much of my life. Difficult situations. So many negative thoughts I have dwelled upon. But when life has been good and my mind is occupied with good thoughts, I feel good. When I’m connected with people I love, really feel connected, I feel good. I am doing better with the tapering. I know I am stabilizing on the dose I’ve been taking. I am able to sleep. I wake, I go back to sleep. No more panic during the night for days it seems. So I am hopeful. I had some difficulty with a loved one that made me feel so bad a couple of days...with a daughter whom I adore. But I quickly recovered as we worked out the problem. Regardless, I am grateful for what I see as progress. Thank you to this forum for the support. It’s been a lifeline for me. ❤️ jlkdr Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 21, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 21, 2019 2 hours ago, Jlkdr said: But I quickly recovered as we worked out the problem. That is a sign of someone who has confidence in herself. Really busy. Enjoy. More time tomorrow🤞 Sass Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 22, 2019 Author Share Posted August 22, 2019 I am continuing routine for meds etc, sleeping well. Still waking with what I call mild anxiety. I wonder if that will ever leave. Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 24, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 24, 2019 (edited) Hello jld KR Hope hope you are still enjoying your holiday. Sassenach sassenach Edited August 25, 2019 by ChessieCat removed underlining Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 Hi, Sass, still enjoying my time here. Weather is beautiful. Beach is a couple of blocks away. I am having restful nights, listening to YouTube, usual morning anxiety. When I get up and get moving, anxiety goes away. I work on intrusive thoughts. Try to switch off by distracting to more pleasant thoughts or thought stopping. Generally, I feel I’m doing well, considering. That might have a lot to do with my daughter and son-in-law being here. It’s wonderful spending time with them. I do worry about next step in tapering, but holding steady here for now. Thank you for checking. Hope you’re well! J Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sassenach Posted August 24, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 24, 2019 Hi Jlkdr It sounds idylic, I envy you😈, going to sulk now. 4 hours ago, Jlkdr said: When I get up and get moving, anxiety goes away. Do you feel as though you want to get up but don't want to at the same time? You are doing well so, forget tapering for now and enjoy. You know we will be here to help. Sass Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018 Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018 Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018 Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs. Updosed 8March to 5mgs and holding 25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum Link to comment
Jlkdr Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 Hi, Sass, in reference to your question, I do feel like I want to get up but would like to be able to feel settled in bed. That’s not the case, however, so getting up is good. I would like to go down to .5 when I get home. Is that too much? I’ll be home Friday. I see the Ashton Manual mixes clonazepam with Valium. I don’t think my dr will go for that. Thank you! J Ongoing Prozac 20mgs/10mgs, updosed by doctor to 30mgs no date. Tapered off? Last dose April 2019. Ongoing Klonopin 0.5mg to 3mg. C/Ted July 2019. Doctor reinstated 3 days later on 1mg. Late July cut to .75mg. September 1 cut dose to .625, continued taper at a cut per 3+ weeks December 11 down to .125 klonopin, cutting to .0625 off Klonopin Dec 12, 2019 Currently-Supplements, mostly to deal with cholesterol issues. probiotic, krill oil, CoQ10, D, K2, turmeric, L theanine, magnesium for sleep, and sleep aid of melatonin, l theanine, b6, herbs. Losartan 50 mg daily Link to comment
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