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Boris
On 11/29/2019 at 9:29 PM, Gemma92 said:

Thank you, I'll try! And oh wow 5 years! I'm sorry you had to suffer for so long! the mental akathisia is horrible! Today is horrible suicidal urges too! And if the mental stuff ever calms down a notch, I am left with anhedonia. 😞

 

Oh I wasn't in crisis those 5 years but was for around 1 year and then waves after that. I got hit by another 4 month wave of extreme symptoms getting off the last 5mg of Paroxetine.

 

I'm not recovered yet but I never thought those extreme days would end but they did. There is always hope.

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Gemma92
3 minutes ago, Boris said:

 

Oh I wasn't in crisis those 5 years but was for around 1 year and then waves after that. I got hit by another 4 month wave of extreme symptoms getting off the last 5mg of Paroxetine.

 

I'm not recovered yet but I never thought those extreme days would end but they did. There is always hope.

So do you think I can heal while on Mirtazapine? It seems things calmed down before you went off completely. I'm glad the 5 years weren't all horrendous suffering for you. I have been very sick for 1.5 years now. I only went from 15 to 11mg of Mirtazapine in the last 9 months and things are just getting worse it seems. 

 

I'm glad you're out of the acute stage. I hope I can too but my history with drugs is a nightmare. 😞 all the drugs I was on are the worst ones that I read about. Robin Williams was on Mirtazapine before he died. And I read Zyprexa is the worst antipsychotic on the market and touches more recepters than any other one. And Lexapro is the strongest SSRI and Ativan is a strong benzo. Plus I have had many adverse reactions to other drugs. I am a horror story. The very thing other withdrawal folks shouldn't read about. 😭 

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Gemma92

Yesterday I took 12 200mg of ibuprofen (in a span of 4 hours) because they were not kicking in. I was in agony because of my monthly cramps. 

Do any other females know of another way to relieve the pain in a more natural way? My change of diet is not doing anything and it seems it gets worse every month. Having that and massive CNS damage makes me feel like giving up this fight. And I am sure the ibuprofen is kindling me even more but it was either taking it or passing out... 😥

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Boris
9 minutes ago, Gemma92 said:

So do you think I can heal while on Mirtazapine? It seems things calmed down before you went off completely. I'm glad the 5 years weren't all horrendous suffering for you. I have been very sick for 1.5 years now. I only went from 15 to 11mg of Mirtazapine in the last 9 months and things are just getting worse it seems. 

 

I'm glad you're out of the acute stage. I hope I can too but my history with drugs is a nightmare. 😞 all the drugs I was on are the worst ones that I read about. Robin Williams was on Mirtazapine before he died. And I read Zyprexa is the worst antipsychotic on the market and touches more recepters than any other one. And Lexapro is the strongest SSRI and Ativan is a strong benzo. Plus I have had many adverse reactions to other drugs. I am a horror story. The very thing other withdrawal folks shouldn't rea

d about. 😭 

 

I think you can find a horror story/worst case scenario about any drug. Believe me I googled way too much then. I was mostly on Paroxetine and that's considered one of the worst offenders. Even the GPs here won't prescribe it anymore.

 

I was also on citalopram, Ativan, clonazepam, diazepam, zopiclone, buspirone. I picked up a prescription for Mitrazipine after my final withdrawal from Paroxetine was showing as akathesia/terror and they yet again told me it was mental illness. Told my gp isn't it strange that has all gone now without taking anything else.

 

I had to hold on 5mg of Paroxetine for 3 years from a failed taper before tapering that last 5mg over 2 years.

 

This week is exactly 10 years since I had an adverse reaction to reinstating Paroxetine. Although its a long time I would say only a 2 years of that was intense non functional suffering and the rest has been slow recovery but functioning.

 

You will get there but just like people told me no one actually knows when.

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Gemma92
6 hours ago, Boris said:

 

I think you can find a horror story/worst case scenario about any drug. Believe me I googled way too much then. I was mostly on Paroxetine and that's considered one of the worst offenders. Even the GPs here won't prescribe it anymore.

 

I was also on citalopram, Ativan, clonazepam, diazepam, zopiclone, buspirone. I picked up a prescription for Mitrazipine after my final withdrawal from Paroxetine was showing as akathesia/terror and they yet again told me it was mental illness. Told my gp isn't it strange that has all gone now without taking anything else.

 

I had to hold on 5mg of Paroxetine for 3 years from a failed taper before tapering that last 5mg over 2 years.

 

This week is exactly 10 years since I had an adverse reaction to reinstating Paroxetine. Although its a long time I would say only a 2 years of that was intense non functional suffering and the rest has been slow recovery but functioning.

 

You will get there but just like people told me no one actually knows when.

Thank you, I really hope it's soon that I'll start improving! I think once I get that first window or even partial window, I'll be happy. 

 

I'm sorry the doctors tried to label you. The same thing happened to me too. If they only knew it was the drugs. Sometimes I think they do know but won't admit it. It's such a strange thing. 

 

I'm glad you weren't totally disabled the entire time. 2 years isn't too bad. I am at 1.5 years but the drug merry-go-round stopped only 9 months ago and in those 9 months I have been playing around with Mirtazapine. So hopefully I can hold on Mirtazapine and like you did with Paxil so things can settle down.

 

I appreciate you sharing your story with me. I love all the tiny details people give me from them. It helps a lot! 

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Gemma92

Wow, I am very repetitive. Sorry about that everyone. It's a symptom I have. And sometimes I forget what I wrote in the past because my memory isn't the best either. 

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Leo1983

Hi Gemma.

 

Im in a wave following a virus/ cold. Its quite a bad 1 to be honest. 

 

Can i ask, before medications did you worry about stuff? 

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Gemma92
On 12/1/2019 at 2:21 AM, Leo1983 said:

Hi Gemma.

 

Im in a wave following a virus/ cold. Its quite a bad 1 to be honest. 

 

Can i ask, before medications did you worry about stuff? 

Hello. I'm sorry you're sick with a virus in top of a wave! I hope you feel better soon!

 

And yes, could you tell? Lol I was the biggest worrier out there! I had a lot of mental problems which was the reason why I started the drugs in the first place. My anxiety was bad but of course nothing is as bad as this drug induced mental torture. I'd take my old problems over this any day. But I wish I knew what caused them. I know the chemical imbalance theory is wrong so if I heal from this I'm going to figure out why I was always a worrier. I also had a lot of anger issues too. I always thought I was bipolar but I know that term/label is garbage now. 

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Gemma92

My symptoms:

-Full blown anhedonia. It's so bad that if someone shot my cat right in front of me, I wouldn't even flinch while the old me would have reacted and would have been traumatized.

-suicidal urges

-psychotic feelings. Like I have every "mental illness" in the book

-burning brain

-No personality

-No concept of time 

-Not much of a memory of who I was before the drugs

-numb body. I can't feel cold or hot. I do not shiver in the cold and I cannot feel the hot water on my skin when I shower

-I feel stupid and brain dead

-chemical smells and feelings of chemicals through my body

-Smell is off

-No taste

-Terror like I am surrounded by the devil all day 24/7. It's like an impending doom and gives off an evil vibe. Like the feeling you'd get if the world was ending mixed with the feeling you'd get from watching a horror movie.  

-24/7 burning brain/head pressure. 

Crying spells

 

Before I was put on more drugs in my old withdrawal, I had all the opposite symptoms. My body was cold all the time and I shivered nonstop. I got massive adrenaline rushes from sounds and now it sounds like I am hearing things from under water. I know I mentioned rhis already. Sorry. 

So why is everything the opposite now? My brain was healing back then and now I feel like it's more dead. I knew what healing felt like and this feels like brain damage vs. withdrawal. Maybe Zyprexa and Mirtazapine give different WD symptoms than Lexapro and Ativan? My brain is not cycling the symptoms and feeks stuck. And I feel so far away from who I once was. It's crazy the brain can even make a human being feel these feelings. 

 

I don't know how much more I can take if this and I know nobody can work miracles for me. I am so sorry for all these rants and repetitive posts. If you guys already answered my questions don't feel like you have to again. My brain is just a pile of mush now and I'm just writing this because I need a distraction. 

I'm really bad guys. Really bad. I became bedbound after being on Lexapro for a short time. That should tell everyone how messed up my brain is. My first cold turkey was so bad that it was like I was on the drug for 20 years. I had the weirdest reaction. I am a hopeless case but I'll continue updating everyone so I can prove myself wrong... Believe me, I want to be wrong. 

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Cocopuffz17
9 hours ago, Gemma92 said:

Hello. I'm sorry you're sick with a virus in top of a wave! I hope you feel better soon!

 

And yes, could you tell? Lol I was the biggest worrier out there! I had a lot of mental problems which was the reason why I started the drugs in the first place. My anxiety was bad but of course nothing is as bad as this drug induced mental torture. I'd take my old problems over this any day. But I wish I knew what caused them. I know the chemical imbalance theory is wrong so if I heal from this I'm going to figure out why I was always a worrier. I also had a lot of anger issues too. I always thought I was bipolar but I know that term/label is garbage now. 


I know exactly what you mean. That it is how I was before I was medicated and now I did not revert back to that and I am 10 months off of my medication after 11 years on it. I changed my nutrition and it in turn changed my gut microbiome. Nutrition is very key, but also a positive mindset. 

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Gemma92
6 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:


I know exactly what you mean. That it is how I was before I was medicated and now I did not revert back to that and I am 10 months off of my medication after 11 years on it. I changed my nutrition and it in turn changed my gut microbiome. Nutrition is very key, but also a positive mindset. 

I changed my diet about 2 months ago. I'm glad you healed your gut! I hope mine will heal too and help me get through this horrific withdrawal! 

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Cocopuffz17
15 minutes ago, Gemma92 said:

I changed my diet about 2 months ago. I'm glad you healed your gut! I hope mine will heal too and help me get through this horrific withdrawal! 

Thanks, did you read the Plant Paradox ? What food do you consume now. Because the Paradox is a lot of the “healthy” advertised foods are actually causing thre health issues we have. I am very very close to fully reversing my autoimmune disease and will share my story when it has been reversed. 

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Gemma92
19 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Thanks, did you read the Plant Paradox ? What food do you consume now. Because the Paradox is a lot of the “healthy” advertised foods are actually causing thre health issues we have. I am very very close to fully reversing my autoimmune disease and will share my story when it has been reversed. 

I haven't read the Plant Paradox. But I took out dairy, sugar, grains and gluten. I try to eat organic sometimes but it's hard having a complete organic diet. 

I am glad you're reversing your autoimmune disease! I'll be looking foward to reading your story! I may have an autoimmune disorder too. PANDAS. But I'm not sure. 

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Gemma92

I was reading about Josh Jensen's story. He is the guy with severe akathisia and dystonia. Does anybody know if he is healing? In the article I read, they said he had irreversible damage because of all the drugs he has been on after his reaction to Effexor. They said he would have healed if they hadn't kept changing drugs. They said his neurons are fried. I don't want to believe that his damage is irreversible and that he will not heal. I'm not exactly like him but I went on a ton of drugs like him and made things even worse. What if my neurons are too fried to heal too? What if I had akathisia all along back in July 2018? Because for months I kept adding drugs and making my brain even more damaged. I don't even know if my issue is withdrawal. It could have been a severe reaction to the antibiotics or a reaction to Lexapro and the antibiotics. I don't even feel like I'm in a withdrawal anymore. 

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, Gemma92 said:

I haven't read the Plant Paradox. But I took out dairy, sugar, grains and gluten. I try to eat organic sometimes but it's hard having a complete organic diet. 

I am glad you're reversing your autoimmune disease! I'll be looking foward to reading your story! I may have an autoimmune disorder too. PANDAS. But I'm not sure. 

 

Well that is a great start! It is definitely challenging, I have been about 95% compliant on the foods I eat in the last year and abit. But everytime I slip and eat crap food, I feel awful and have WD's in the following days. I am blown away with the reversal of my autoimmune disease. It is SO close to being fully reversed. It's like a dream! 

 

Keep at it and things will get better! 

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Zans

https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/symptom/akathisia

 

It says condition is not pernament although it's hard to believe that once you in it. I only had short stints of it (knocking on the wood) so far.

 

People who diagnosed him with permanency might be from same group who put him in such position in the first place. Don't believe in it immediately. You know how knowledgable mainstream doctors are ☺

 

I really hope he is doing better these days. That's such a tragedy. 

 

Btw you could try searching healing stories instead. I know that I used to read horror stories also but all it did just flooded me with sky high adrenaline.

 

 

 

 

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Zans

Also try look at it through probability lens. The real worst cases are like 5% (if not less) and even those can't be diagnosed as permanent. I mean is there even tests that will stamp "permanent" on this condition? How can it be shown that "neurons are fried"? As long as one is alive there will be always another day for improving.

 Rest 95% experience acute periods for x time and then eventually gets better. Statistically (not emotionally) which side has more likelyhood for you to be in: 95% or 5%? ☺

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Tom37

Try not too pay much attention to the very worst cases. You have to remember as well that not everyone follows the traditional window and wave pattern of healing. Some people very very slowly see there symptoms very gradually reduce until they recover but this can in some cases take a long time. Try to remember that while months or a year is a decent period of time unfortunately in withdrawal it’s still very very early days.

 

Take care.

 

 

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Zans

I mean this is as bad as it can get. I thought I had it really horrible but this person experienced horrible multiplied by infinity and guess what, healed ☺

 

(I beloeve she's been mentioned on your thread but I think anytime you hit rock bottom belief wise, it's good to reread her story again)

 

Symptoms

http://cesspoolofmadness.com/?p=85666

 

End result

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=227772.0

 

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Gemma92
On 12/3/2019 at 5:34 PM, Cocopuffz17 said:

 

Well that is a great start! It is definitely challenging, I have been about 95% compliant on the foods I eat in the last year and abit. But everytime I slip and eat crap food, I feel awful and have WD's in the following days. I am blown away with the reversal of my autoimmune disease. It is SO close to being fully reversed. It's like a dream! 

 

Keep at it and things will get better! 

I'm so glad you are seeing good results! 

I hope I will too! 

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Gemma92
19 hours ago, Zans said:

https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/symptom/akathisia

 

It says condition is not pernament although it's hard to believe that once you in it. I only had short stints of it (knocking on the wood) so far.

 

People who diagnosed him with permanency might be from same group who put him in such position in the first place. Don't believe in it immediately. You know how knowledgable mainstream doctors are ☺

 

I really hope he is doing better these days. That's such a tragedy. 

 

Btw you could try searching healing stories instead. I know that I used to read horror stories also but all it did just flooded me with sky high adrenaline.

 

 

 

 

 

18 hours ago, Zans said:

Also try look at it through probability lens. The real worst cases are like 5% (if not less) and even those can't be diagnosed as permanent. I mean is there even tests that will stamp "permanent" on this condition? How can it be shown that "neurons are fried"? As long as one is alive there will be always another day for improving.

 Rest 95% experience acute periods for x time and then eventually gets better. Statistically (not emotionally) which side has more likelyhood for you to be in: 95% or 5%? ☺

 

17 hours ago, Zans said:

I mean this is as bad as it can get. I thought I had it really horrible but this person experienced horrible multiplied by infinity and guess what, healed ☺

 

(I beloeve she's been mentioned on your thread but I think anytime you hit rock bottom belief wise, it's good to reread her story again)

 

Symptoms

http://cesspoolofmadness.com/?p=85666

 

End result

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=227772.0

 

Thanks for the links! I appreciate all the help you guys give me!

Traumatized80's story is a good one for people who are severe! I am so glad she healed! Her story helps me a lot. 

I am happy that you guys don't think I am a horror story but I really think I am in that 5% of the severe cases because I scream and cry all day. I feel so psychotic and suicidal. I am severely anhedonic on top of it and I lost my personality. My legs get so restless at night. I can't feel my body and can't taste or smell anything. My brain burns 24/7. And my memory is not good either.

It just seems like I am getting worse and I haven't done too much in the past 9 months other than cutting from 15mg to 11mg of Mirt. Today might actually be one of the worst days I ever had in my life! I feel like I am losing control. I don't know how I am ever going to make it to my next psychiatrist appointment.

 

I hope you're right about there not being proof of permanent damage because my brain is battered. I am just as bad as traumatized if not worse.

 

 

 

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Gemma92
17 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Try not too pay much attention to the very worst cases. You have to remember as well that not everyone follows the traditional window and wave pattern of healing. Some people very very slowly see there symptoms very gradually reduce until they recover but this can in some cases take a long time. Try to remember that while months or a year is a decent period of time unfortunately in withdrawal it’s still very very early days.

 

Take care.

 

 

Thank you. I appreciate the help!  It's so hard to stay positive though when It seems like I'm getting worse instead of getting better gradually. And I have no idea if I can heal while on a drug still. I wish I knew. Today is my worst day ever. I hope your right in that I am still in early days. I just wish I wasn't on any drugs. 

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Tom37

The feeling of getting worse is common. Ive just hit 12 months into stabilising and feel horrid at the moment. It would be up there in feeling as bad as I did in the beginning but it’s different. The whole past month feels like I’ve gone backwards but I’m trying to look at it that I’m half way up the mountain of withdrawal and have fallen into a ravine or something and trying to find my way out of it to get back on track....unfortunately this is common. There is a topic on here about what is withdrawal which shows it.

 

What I’m trying to say is try not to get upset about feeling worse as it’s almost guaranteed in wd before you start to feel better. I believe you can heal on a drug unless you have had an adverse reaction. It’s about keeping your dose the same until you are stable.

 

Im sure you will start to see improvements in time and even changing symptoms mean the wheels are turning up there, doing what they need to do to get things right.

 

 

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icerose87

Today is a very bad day for Gemma. I think something aggravated her symptoms. She said she’s always this bad, but she can sometimes distract herself with video games. Today is not one of those days.

 

I’m convinced she has some form of akathisia. She doesn’t really have the urge to move, but I do believe she is experiencing extreme mental torment and very strong suicidal urges consistent with akathisia. I just want it to stop. I hate this. I think the government has a cure that they’re refusing to release to the public. It’s insane that someone can suffer for so long and not experience any type of relief.

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PgadAdam
4 minutes ago, icerose87 said:

Today is a very bad day for Gemma. I think something aggravated her symptoms. She said she’s always this bad, but she can sometimes distract herself with video games. Today is not one of those days.

 

I’m convinced she has some form of akathisia. She doesn’t really have the urge to move, but I do believe she is experiencing extreme mental torment and very strong suicidal urges consistent with akathisia. I just want it to stop. I hate this. I think the government has a cure that they’re refusing to release to the public. It’s insane that someone can suffer for so long and not experience any type of relief.

so sorry to hear that she has akathisia, these drugs are well known to cause that but nobody warns us about it... sending gemma lots of love ❤️

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Gemma92
45 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

The feeling of getting worse is common. Ive just hit 12 months into stabilising and feel horrid at the moment. It would be up there in feeling as bad as I did in the beginning but it’s different. The whole past month feels like I’ve gone backwards but I’m trying to look at it that I’m half way up the mountain of withdrawal and have fallen into a ravine or something and trying to find my way out of it to get back on track....unfortunately this is common. There is a topic on here about what is withdrawal which shows it.

 

What I’m trying to say is try not to get upset about feeling worse as it’s almost guaranteed in wd before you start to feel better. I believe you can heal on a drug unless you have had an adverse reaction. It’s about keeping your dose the same until you are stable.

 

Im sure you will start to see improvements in time and even changing symptoms mean the wheels are turning up there, doing what they need to do to get things right.

 

 

Thank you. I'll try to work on not worrying about feeling worse. 

My symptoms don't really cycle much yet so I am worried my brain is stuck. I have yet to lose any symptoms. If anything, I get more added on. 

I'm sorry you're in a wave. hate them so much. I get waves within my waves. I hope the lesser horrible waves will turn into windows eventually. I wish I could go back in time and stay in my old withdrawal. Because I wasn't as bad as I am now.  This is pure torture. I am worried I'll be drugged up again. 

I'm not really sure if I had an adverse reaction to Mirtazapine or not. I did get a few baby partial windows on it before the Zyprexa CT hit me. I'll keep holding and see what happens.

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Tom37

You mentioned you get ‘waves within your waves’ which is how I felt at the beginning. Everything was always horrible but the waves would come and be even worse. Then slowly there was a bigger gap between the waves and baseline to were at baseline I started to feel sometimes almost ‘normal’. I think that shows your brain is doing what it should be doing. 

 

Try not to worry about new symptoms as I’m still getting them 12 months out. The whole nervous system has been affected so we have lots of healing to be done which causes those symptoms.

 

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

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Tom37

You mentioned you get ‘waves within your waves’ which is how I felt at the beginning. Everything was always horrible but the waves would come and be even worse. Then slowly there was a bigger gap between the waves and baseline to were at baseline I started to feel sometimes almost ‘normal’. I think that shows your brain is doing what it should be doing. 

 

Try not to worry about new symptoms as I’m still getting them 12 months out. The whole nervous system has been affected so we have lots of healing to be done which causes those symptoms.

 

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

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Gemma92
51 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

You mentioned you get ‘waves within your waves’ which is how I felt at the beginning. Everything was always horrible but the waves would come and be even worse. Then slowly there was a bigger gap between the waves and baseline to were at baseline I started to feel sometimes almost ‘normal’. I think that shows your brain is doing what it should be doing. 

 

Try not to worry about new symptoms as I’m still getting them 12 months out. The whole nervous system has been affected so we have lots of healing to be done which causes those symptoms.

 

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

Thank you, I hope tomorrow will better too. And when I get that first partial window, I won't have to worry anymore. I will alert the group as soon as it happens! 😊

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Zans

 

I know you prefer stories where multiple meds been stopped and started during short period of time but there can't be too much of a "good endings" to read ☺

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Gemma92
6 hours ago, Zans said:

 

I know you prefer stories where multiple meds been stopped and started during short period of time but there can't be too much of a "good endings" to read ☺

Thank you for always sharing these success stories with me! You and @India are so good digging up them up for me! It means a lot! 

I have a lot of the symptoms that pug had. I hope my brain can get on track and start healing soon!

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Gemma92

Hi everyone. I was afraid that I'd gain too much weight on the Mirtazapine but that's not the case anymore. I am not eating the best because I can't taste food and the smell of it burns my brain and makes me feel crazy. I am on a clean diet but I'm not eating much and starting to waste away. Last time when I lost weight, I was forcibly locked in a psych ward and treated like I had an eating disorder. They locked me out of my room because they thought I was purging (Even though I wasn't even eating anything) and made me stand on the scale backwards. But now if I get too thin again, I am afraid the same thing will happen to me. I cannot afford more drugs as I am already a walking vegetable.

 I don't understand why I am so sick when the longest I was ona drug I CTed was 3 months. My brain is so sensitive and I must have had a series of adverse effects. I am afraid this is going to kill me. 😞

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India

I was a zombie on mirtazipine. Total zombie.

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Gemma92

Guys I don't know why I am getting worsr as each day passes. This is the first time I did not sleep in a long time. The mental akathisia is literally putting me into ny grave. There is no way I can survive this. My body and brain are melting in terror. I feel so psychotic on top of it all! My body is numb and my brain either burns or it feels like it's being squeezed 24/7. This is more akathisia than the typical withdrawal. I am in hell and I NEVER get any relief. Not even 1 second! I am getting too sick to even come on this forum anymore. I can't even appreciate all that is done for me on here because I am so messed up. My memory is starting to go and I feek like a retard. I am a walking vegetable. I don't remember 1% of what it felt like before these drugs. I have no memories of who I was. Now I am a disabled piece of trash that just screams 24/7. 

 

I know you guys are doing your best to help me but I am too far gone and I am just deteriorating. You guys tell me such good and positive things but my brain just can't see out of this torment. I roll around on the floor like you'd never believe. If I showed videos of how bad I was, people would die of fright. I cannot feel my body and I never get cold or hot. I never feel tired or feel hunger. 

 

I want to heal, I really do. I want to heal for all of you so that all your hard work with helping me doesn't go to waste. But I am a very very messed up person. And I am this sick and still on a drug.

 

I read about someone stopping Mirtazapine 45mg CT after 10 years and they just got dizzy. I cut my drug from 15 to 11mg and I am a vegetable. Life just isn't fair. And I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself but no human being should have to suffer like a soul in hell. My entire being is gone. I am too weak to continue this for much longer. I have been sick for 1.5 years now and I only grow stupider as time passes.

 

Keep me in your prayers. It's really the only thing that can help at this point. 😞

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Gemma92
3 minutes ago, India said:

I was a zombie on mirtazipine. Total zombie.

It's awful! I didn't even sleep yet. It just seems like I am getting worse and worse. The terror is killing me. What an awful drug it is plus the other 3 main ones I was on. Worst drugs out there. 😭

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Zans

If you have akathisia this probably won't help but for panic or anxiety attack you can try to breath into brown paper bag until it is uncomfortable (first sign of discomfort stop). You will rebreath carbon dioxide which is natural tranquilizer. It should switch you to parasymphatetic mode for some time.

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