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Gemma92

@Lexapoison, I am very sorry your girlfriend broke up with you. I have lost many friends so I can somewhat relate. They all think the same thing as your girlfriend did---....anxiety or depression. And they all think I am ignoring them on purpose. 

 

Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. Lexapro is an evil and very potent drug. That beast made me so sick. I was at one point where you are and so desperate. My CT was awful. I was skin and bones. I lost 25 pounds in 2 months. I was dying and cried all day. My family forced me into the psych ward and I was tortured for 3 more months. I know you said not worry about the amount of drugs I was on but I was already very sick. And they added an antipsychotic to the cocktail. And they CTed me off of 5 or so drugs. I also had strep throat and was put on many antibiotics which made things even worse for me. Polydrugged for a year. I lost my precious cats. They were my world. 

 

I am so sorry you're suffering horrendously after just a short term use and even after tapering it. It's not right the some longterm users can get away with it. I know you are in so much pain and it hurts me to know that this whole thing is taboo to other people. I will definitely pray for you and I appreciate the prayers you said for me. I know it's scary when you lose your personality. I told my family the same thing, that I wasn't here anymore and that they are talking to somebody else. Please hang in there. When you get bad, just think of me. I'm so sorry your symptoms are so vicious. This is cruel. But it will end one day.

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Gemma92
12 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

If you go slow and take advice it could also get better. 

 

2 ways of looking at things in life! 😃

I've been taking it slow for 7 months and only getting worse. 😔

I'll hold on 10mg but I'm telling you nothing is ever going to calm down on it. I could be having interdose withdrawal on it or it could be acting adversely on me. If I hold and hold, it's only going to make it harder to taper off in the future if things never settle. But I'll do it once I drop to 10mg. I'll give it one more try. 😭😭😭

I just want me back! 

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Gemma92

Hello everyone. I am existing but not living. 😢

 

I have decided that once I lower the Mirtazapine to 10mg, that I am going to hold there for a few more months. My homepath gave me a remedy that will help my body not react to the cuts as much. She said she talked to the top homepath doctor about me but I will still be careful about this drug.

 

Lexapro Zyprexa and Mirtazapine are the worst 3 drugs out there (in my opinion) to withdraw from. No wonder why I am in hell. 

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Leo1983

Well Mirtazapine and Lexapro did this to me so i agree. 

 

I see alot on here with issues from Lexapro and Mirt. 

 

Good luck.

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Gemma92

I have my period and I have to take ibprofen because if I don't, my cramps will make me pass out from the pain. Is ibprofen going to prevent me from healing? I use it every 6 hours during the 4 days a month I am in pain. 😢

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Gemma92
5 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Well Mirtazapine and Lexapro did this to me so i agree. 

 

I see alot on here with issues from Lexapro and Mirt. 

 

Good luck.

I'm sorry those two drugs gave you issues too. I see that Lexapro is mentioned the most when I type in the search box. And I read a lot of suffering on here from Zyprexa. This is why I am on top of the withdrawal pyramid of pain. 

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Altostrata
On 9/28/2019 at 11:19 PM, Gemma92 said:

@ChessieCat Thank you for explaining everything and I will try to learn those ways to cope.

 

@Altostrata I have always been able to sleep throughout my withdrawal. The Mirtazapine and Zyprexa were given to me so I would eat. They did give me nice sedating effects which did calm the anxiety but I believe I developed a tolerance to the Mirtazapine or it may have pooped out on me. It doesn't give me that histamine effect anymore. So I'm not sure if it's the thing that's helping me sleep or not. I am on 11mg now and haven't felt any change or worsening in my symptoms YET. I know it can hit people pretty far out. 

 

Gemma, you need to figure this out -- if your sleep has gotten worse while you've been tapering mirtazapine, it's likely doing something to help you sleep, no matter why it was originally prescribed. If it's helping you sleep and not otherwise causing adverse effects, I'd hold on the dosage for a while.

 

On 9/29/2019 at 1:01 AM, Gemma92 said:

Symptoms: 

-severe burning brain. It feels like a bad sore throat but all over my brain. Made worse with sugar. 

-No concept of time 

-Anhedonia

-mental akathisia

-Irritability

-crying spells

 

If I were you, I would not eat sugar.

 

What do you mean by "mental akathisia"?

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Gemma92
5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Gemma, you need to figure this out -- if your sleep has gotten worse while you've been tapering mirtazapine, it's likely doing something to help you sleep, no matter why it was originally prescribed. If it's helping you sleep and not otherwise causing adverse effects, I'd hold on the dosage for a while.

 

 

If I were you, I would not eat sugar.

 

What do you mean by "mental akathisia"?

Last night I slept okay. About 8 hours. It was only one day where I woke up earlier than usual. I think I'll hold once I'm down to 10mg. 

 

Mental akathisia like terror throughout my whole body, paranoia, restlessness in my legs at night, intrusive memories and strong suicidal urges/thoughts. I feel likeI want to unzip my skin.

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Gemma92

Are antibiotics just as dangerous as psych drugs? Anyone take them a lot during their withdrawal?  

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Gridley
30 minutes ago, Gemma92 said:

Are antibiotics just as dangerous as psych drugs? Anyone take them a lot during their withdrawal?  

 

Avoid taking the class of antibiotics known as fluoroquinolones, which can have severe adverse effects especially to someone in withdrawal.  Cipro is a common example.

 

This link contains a list of fluoroquinolone antibiotics.  If in doubt about whether an antibiotic is in this class of drugs, Google to make sure.

 

 

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Gemma92

@Gridley Thank you for links. I wasn't on any of the dangerous ones but I still had horrible reactions. 😞 

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Gemma92

I am beginning to think I have some movement disorder brewing. My teeth clamp down on their own a lot and my legs/arms move on their own too. And my legs were very restless last night. I have an inner restlessness. It's like I am being internally tickled by the devil. 

 

This all could have been avoided if my family would have only believed me. I am very angry at them and now they want to help me get better but now it's too late. I was thrown on the most dangerous antipsychotic and also one of the worst antidepressants, the great Mirtazapine. If they only knew the torture they put me through. Now I lost my personality and now I am crippled. I am so cripped I am on disability. I'd rather work 40 hours a week at the worst possible job than go through this suffering. 

 

I am running out of time. 😔

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icerose87
1 hour ago, Gemma92 said:

I am beginning to think I have some movement disorder brewing. My teeth clamp down on their own a lot and my legs/arms move on their own too. And my legs were very restless last night. I have an inner restlessness. It's like I am being internally tickled by the devil. 

 

This all could have been avoided if my family would have only believed me. I am very angry at them and now they want to help me get better but now it's too late. I was thrown on the most dangerous antipsychotic and also one of the worst antidepressants, the great Mirtazapine. If they only knew the torture they put me through. Now I lost my personality and now I am crippled. I am so cripped I am on disability. I'd rather work 40 hours a week at the worst possible job than go through this suffering. 

 

I am running out of time. 😔

I’m Gemma’s sister and caretaker. Our close knit family (6 kids) has been completely torn apart and shattered by this beast. We were blindsided and misled by doctors and our own stupid egos. She has a right to be angry at us. Now we’re grasping at straws trying to help her when there is no help. 

 

I don’t understand how someone hardly on these drugs can be one of the worst (mental) cases ever. When she says she is one of the worst, believe her. You read these other stories on here of people who can sometimes drive or go somewhere with their significant other or even go outside. Gemma can do none of those things. She literally rolls around, screaming and crying in horror most of the day. She will even growl and bite her legs. She is very suicidal.

 

It started to get really bad in May. I can’t figure out if it was the Zyprexa cold turkey hitting after 3 months or the Mirtazapine  going paradoxical. Either way, she’s tapering the Mirtazapine now. 13.5 mg to 11 mg in one month and no noticeable withdraw symptoms. She can’t possibly get worse though, can she?

 

You read on here about people with physical symptoms and memory problems. Gemma has none of that except a burning brain. It is ALL mental horror/torment. Her mind is incredibly sharp. She’s still creative and logical. She remembers more than I do. Doesn’t this sound more like akathisia (without the compulsion to move) than withdrawal? Is there anyone out there that could know for sure if it’s permanent? We have an appointment with a neuropsychologist on October 22. Should we request qEEG and SPECT scans?

 

Gemma got disability on the first try! They don’t hand that money out like candy, you know. That’s how serious her condition is. I will not allow her to lose her life to this monster. Please advise me on what (if anything) we can do to save Gemma. 

 

Thank you.

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Rhiannon
1 hour ago, icerose87 said:

I’m Gemma’s sister and caretaker. Our close knit family (6 kids) has been completely torn apart and shattered by this beast. We were blindsided and misled by doctors and our own stupid egos. She has a right to be angry at us. Now we’re grasping at straws trying to help her when there is no help. 

 

I don’t understand how someone hardly on these drugs can be one of the worst (mental) cases ever. When she says she is one of the worst, believe her. You read these other stories on here of people who can sometimes drive or go somewhere with their significant other or even go outside. Gemma can do none of those things. She literally rolls around, screaming and crying in horror most of the day. She will even growl and bite her legs. She is very suicidal.

 

It started to get really bad in May. I can’t figure out if it was the Zyprexa cold turkey hitting after 3 months or the Mirtazapine  going paradoxical. Either way, she’s tapering the Mirtazapine now. 13.5 mg to 11 mg in one month and no noticeable withdraw symptoms. She can’t possibly get worse though, can she?

 

You read on here about people with physical symptoms and memory problems. Gemma has none of that except a burning brain. It is ALL mental horror/torment. Her mind is incredibly sharp. She’s still creative and logical. She remembers more than I do. Doesn’t this sound more like akathisia (without the compulsion to move) than withdrawal? Is there anyone out there that could know for sure if it’s permanent? We have an appointment with a neuropsychologist on October 22. Should we request qEEG and SPECT scans?

 

Gemma got disability on the first try! They don’t hand that money out like candy, you know. That’s how serious her condition is. I will not allow her to lose her life to this monster. Please advise me on what (if anything) we can do to save Gemma. 

 

Thank you.

 

I haven't followed Gemma's whole case, as I haven't been active on this forum for a few years until recently when I came back to get some support with an uptick of my own due to stopping citalopram (at a very low dose). However, I was one of the first members and was active and a moderator for several years. Before that I was active on some other Internet forums for a year, and I stayed on those while I was on this one for the first couple of years.

 

All to say, I have read and followed many cases of withdrawal under all kinds of circumstances, all kinds of stories of going on and off meds, all kinds of polypharmacy, etc. So I have seen a LOT of peoples' stories and met, unfortunately, many people, and many family members, suffering as Gemma is and as you are. I am so sorry to have to say that--yes, she is one of the more intense cases, but honestly I have met at least 25 people who were in just as bad shape as her or worse. That's how HUGE this problem is, how massively unethical and scandalous. But right now that's not your problem, you can address that later. Right now what matters is just her. What you need to know is just, that this isn't some weird rare terrifying different thing, it's happening to other people. And some of them find their way out and heal and survive. Gemma can be one.

 

Anyway, as far as Gemma's history, I am going by her sig, I haven't read back through her thread all the way. That is--what, 7 different meds, introduced, some discontinued, dosages varied, one CT, all within...looks like a year? And a bunch as recently as last February? That is a LOT.  Not everyone would react as strongly as she has, but there is NOBODY who would not be sick after that, and there are a lot of people who do react as strongly as she has (me, for example) to psych med chaos. 

 

Please read around on this forum and find the posts talking about what these drugs do, biochemically, physiologically. I have written many dozens of them myself and don't have time to recap it all here. I think that being more informed may help you have more patience and less terror about what's going on. Look for my "trellis" post and the stuff about neuroplasticity and neuroplastic adaptations to the drugs. 

 

In my opinion, the best thing you can do for Gemma right now is DON'T CHANGE ANY MEDS. Don't let them try to fix her by changing meds--changing doses, removing or replacing, etc. She does not have one of those brains that does well with having its chemistry changed, I think that's pretty evident now. What she needs is biochemical stability, a chance for her own body to re-establish some kind of functional homeostasis, which she will not be able to do as long as any drugs are being changed, added or removed.

 

Get the family on board with this. Her brain needs to heal. It doesn't know how to heal itself efficiently, because evolution has never before encountered these drugs, so we do not have mechanisms in our cells to fix this kind of damage and mess. But with enough support and A LOT OF TIME, it can be done. I have seen and heard amazing stories of recovery. It's just not going to look like any kind of healing that we are used to, because most healing that our bodies do, our bodies do know how to do. Not this. So there's a lot of overshooting and readjusting and overshooting and readjusting and mixing and trying and trying again, and all of that manifests as a kind of behavioral and emotional chaos and agony that is very, very hard to watch. It is SO hard to see someone you love suffer and to not be able to help them. But that's your job now as a family. Love her, take care of her, and support her healing. 

 

The temptation may be to put her on some kind of heavy sedation. And that may prove to be the right answer for you, who knows. But it's not giving her back her life or letting her heal. It will just be another trap in the end.  Avoid it if you can--but there will be no judgement from me or anyone else here if you do what you have to do. You are in uncharted territory, we all are. I can only say that I regret every single med that I tried to add in to help control the symptoms caused by the other meds and I wish I had never gone down that path, myself.

 

It's not unusual for people to experience primarily mental/emotional agony; I would say that's more typical than the more visible body symptoms. ("Body" and "mind" and "emotions" are not in any way actually separate compartments, we just have given them words and labels, so it's kind of an artificial distinction anyway.)

 

Okay, concrete suggestions:  Everybody read through the "nondrug ways to cope with symptoms" section here. Read up on "family and friends." At some point read the book Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker (this is a MUST, this is a mandatory reading assignment, sorry, but you're back in school.) Make sure that she gets nutritious food whenever you can get her to eat.  Avoid supplements, sugar, anything stimulating. Make sure that she is getting hugs and cuddles whenever you can get her to accept them, unless that would be super stressful and weird in your family; our bodies are deeply programmed for connection, even people in deep dementia respond well to loving gentle touch, it's a very deep primal message "you're safe, you're not alone". Unless it's overstimulating, which is possible.

 

Try to make her schedule and her environment as regular, predictable and unstimulating as possible (quiet, lowered light, etc.)

 

What can I say: this forum contains the accumulated wisdom of many hundreds, maybe thousands, of people who have been walking these paths for about a decade. Alto is rigorous in removing anything iffy or dangerous. Explore this forum and use the resources and encyclopedic information it contains.

 

Be as patient as you can. Give each other lots of support and take turns so nobody gets burned out. This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. People who get better from this kind of thing, it is a matter of years overall, but you will probably see some improvement sooner, within six months.

 

It's hard to say. There's really not a lot I can say that I feel pretty sure about in this kind of situation, except that I am very confident that 90% of the time the best thing you can do for someone who is like this is, if at all possible, give them the support they need to stay alive while you support their own body and brain in finding its way to stabilize and heal itself--which means no stress and no med changes.

 

I hope this helps. My heart goes out to you.

 

--Rhiannon

 

 

 

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Gemma92

@Rhiannon Thank you for visiting my thread. You gave me hope that you have seen people as bad as me heal. But I just went down from 15mg to 11mg so quick. If I hold on that dose, will things get better? It seems they just got worse when I held for a few months on the 15mg. 

 

I had about 4 or 5 cold turkeys. The longest I was on a drug that I stopped waas for 3 months. I have severe anhedonia, personality changes, terror and fear. My withdrawal felt different and when they added more drugs, it changed and is horrfic now. My last window was last November on the 1st. And then they tortured me for 3 more months on Zyprexa and Mirtazapine. I was alsoon many antibitoics and steroids which I count in my drug number. So 9 psych drugs, 5 antibiotics, 4 cold turkeys and sleeping pills were used. I miss my cats so much. I want that bond again I used to have. I was such a senstive person. I couldn't even kill bugs. 

 

Is it too late for me since I have been cutting the drug? It's been almost 1.5 years of this kindling. Did any kindle for longer? Will I become a vegetable? 😞 Thank you for your support. 

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ShiningLight

It's not too late for you, Gemma! Keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

 

I know some parts of this have gotten worse, but also you have probably improved some because you were too ill to post at first. 

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Gemma92
2 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

It's not too late for you, Gemma! Keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

 

I know some parts of this have gotten worse, but also you have probably improved some because you were too ill to post at first. 

Thank, I hope you're right. ❤

And thank you for the support!

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Cocopuffz17
Just now, Gemma92 said:

Thank, I hope you're right. ❤

And thank you for the support!

Shining is right! You will heal. I know it’s tough at times. It will get better! 

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Gemma92
1 minute ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Shining is right! You will heal. I know it’s tough at times. It will get better! 

Thank you, I really do hope things turn around for me! I really appreciate all the support from you all! ❤ 

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Gemma92

If anyone has a success story where someone healed who was just as bad or worse than me, please share it with me. Thank you. I read Wellness's success story and read traumatized80's horror story and saw that she healed. I am very happy for them. I keep looking for more though. 

 

And I also saw people who were in bad shape like me come back years later and say that there were no changes and then they disappeared all together. I wonder how they're doing now and if they ever recovered. Why do people go years without windows? Can the brain stay in a toxic state and needs a diet to help it get on track? I know I have to do the diet thing but I feel like there's no point because I am stuck on a drug still. 😞 

 

I wasn't on these drugs for years, is that a good thing for my recovery? Or does it not matter since I kindled for like year and counting? 😔

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Gemma92

One more thing for tonight. Mirtazapine is known for causing dementia because it's an antihistamine. Am I in danger for that since I have to hold on it? 

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Cocopuffz17
49 minutes ago, Gemma92 said:

If anyone has a success story where someone healed who was just as bad or worse than me, please share it with me. Thank you. I read Wellness's success story and read traumatized80's horror story and saw that she healed. I am very happy for them. I keep looking for more though. 

 

And I also saw people who were in bad shape like me come back years later and say that there were no changes and then they disappeared all together. I wonder how they're doing now and if they ever recovered. Why do people go years without windows? Can the brain stay in a toxic state and needs a diet to help it get on track? I know I have to do the diet thing but I feel like there's no point because I am stuck on a drug still. 😞 

 

I wasn't on these drugs for years, is that a good thing for my recovery? Or does it not matter since I kindled for like year and counting? 😔

I strongly disagree with the no point in the diet. I did my nutrition changes while I was still on the drug and the changes from that were unbelievable and gave me the courage to come off of medication. 

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Gemma92

@Cocopuffz17 that's right, I now remember you telling me in a message. Sometimes my brain is all over the place so forgive me if I forget things. I am happy the diet helped you. I know I need to go on one but I am bedbound so someone in my family has to help me with that. 😞 If I would have been in this group in my last withdrawal, I would have been on board with everything that the groups suggest. Now I feel like it's pointless because I was damaged 100 times worse those last 3 months... 

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Gemma92

Does anyone ever feel like they can't brush their hair or dress nice because they feel sloppy? It's like I have to match the way I feel. I hate it! I feel so disabled and this terror is nonstop! God help me! 

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Zans
On Friday, September 27, 2019 at 4:51 AM, Gemma92 said:

@Zans Thank you so much for stopping by and giving me hope! Your symptoms were horrific! I am so glad you made it to the other side from the worst of it. I see you were on Zyprexa and Mirtazapine like me. They are awful drugs and I am happy you survived those cold turkeys. I had about 4 cold turkeys and on a rapid taper now. So many drugs. But I am so happy that you are almost healed and that you got your life back. Many people that heal or partially heal, don't stay on in these groups and help the others who are still struggling so I appreciate you doing that. I see you have one drug left. Did you hold for awhile before tapering it? I can't seem to stabalize on Mirtazapine. 

I did not heal for sure. Things suck big time still. I am unemployed, moved to my parents at 31 years old and ran down by crippling depression and personality changes for worse. What happened is that I "graduated" pure hell and been in intense purgaratory since then ☺ I totally get mental akathisia part as it was my main torturing tool back in the hell domain. I can read a book now and occasionally get this "ahhh" type of sensation where it feels good to just stay still.

 

I hold now on 5mg. Tried to make a cut but it backfired leaving me with 2-4h of sleep from September 1st. I had as many if not more CT's as you did so everything is quite fragile. 

 

Anyways, just keep staying. Nothing is permanent so expect some change sooner or later.

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Zans

Btw Success stories has Happy2heal lady that was rotated through 13 different meds, good portion being heavy duty antipsychotics. We're talking about decades here. I don't remember exact levels of suffering but she had quit bad too. Seems she recovered and doing relatively well.

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Gemma92
6 minutes ago, Zans said:

Btw Success stories has Happy2heal lady that was rotated through 13 different meds, good portion being heavy duty antipsychotics. We're talking about decades here. I don't remember exact levels of suffering but she had quit bad too. Seems she recovered and doing relatively well.

Thank you for visiting my thread. I am sorry you are suffering still. I am glad you aren't in pure hell anymore 

though. 

I'll check out her story, thanks! 

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icerose87

@Rhiannon Thank you for taking the time to share your advice and show support. I agree with mostly everything you said, but I’m concerned about Gemma continuing to hold on the Mirtazapine. I have done quite a bit of research, and I have no problem accepting that Gemma will heal, and I am equipped to support her for as long as that takes. 

 

The problem is that Gemma is not able to endure the amount of time a proper taper would take. She is actively suicidal and each day takes all her strength to not give in to those urges. She will not make it if the taper takes years. And it’s not because she doesn’t think she will heal, it’s because she cannot endure in the meantime. She really can’t. 

 

So in her case, wouldn’t a faster taper be more beneficial especially if the Mirtazapine is feeding into the suicidal urges (which we know these drugs can do.) She has no windows, no breaks. It is constant, unrelenting, torment and I don’t see her ever having a chance to stabilize until she is off the Mirtazapine.

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Rhiannon

I think if you will do more reading on this site you will understand why we recommend holding whenever someone is in a very bad state. The CNS needs stability.

 

I am not a moderator here so my opinions do not represent the site FYI.

 

My opinion is, after all the stories I've heard and people I've watched go through this process: There are some times, rare ones, when the drug itself is causing toxicity worse than the chemical chaos and instability that would be caused by rapidly changing and tapering the drug. It does happen. However, almost always the symptoms caused by the drugs themselves are minor compared to the symptoms caused by rapidly changing, cutting, stopping, starting, replacing drugs etc. 


1.  Unless you have fully thought about and internalized some understanding of neuroplasticity and how much chaos is caused by changing meds, you are probably still thinking in the "drugs affect us when we take them and then when they leave our bodies they are not affecting us" paradigm. That does not turn out to be very helpful in the case of drugs that cause the brain to turn genes on and off to try to re-establish homeostasis, like these psych drugs do. Please take the time to read and contemplate and get some understanding of this. When you change drugs--either change the dosage of a drug, or add a new one--the brain tries to re-normalize its chemistry. This is a complicated process and involves turning genes on and off and then, if there are no more changes, a long period of actual cellular change and adaptation. If you shove more drugs in there and tear them out, while these processes are going on, it's like taking your brain and just scrambling it in an egg beater. It can cause immense suffering and it can take a very long time to heal from that. Try to find my "trellis" post, it's a good analogy.

 

2. Gemma's history, if her sig line is accurate, looks much more like a "took too many things, changed too many things way too fast" story to me than a distinct "reaction to a specific drug" history. It looks to me like she was already pretty sick last September before ever taking mirtazapine. Then when her neurochemistry was already scrambled and chaotic it looks like there was a firestorm of multiple meds being crammed in, torn out, crammed in, and torn out. This is exactly the kind of thing that causes the kind of symptoms she is experiencing and it happens with any drug and looks much the same regardless of what drugs are involved.

 

3. It can take a very long time to recover from the kind of history she has had in the past couple of years. It is VERY common for people who don't have much experience with these drugs and what they do, to assume that the reason someone is suffering is caused by the drug itself,  not by the neurochemical, actual cellular chaos caused by multiple drug changes. Unfortunately what happens then is they quit the drug they think is the problem, but the suffering only gets worse and they don't have the drug to blame for it. They almost inevitably end up on higher doses at that point, usually of more drugs, and the merry-go-round continues, with increasing disability and suffering.

 

So my opinion is that she is more likely to suffer from a rapid taper and more rapid changes done without letting her stabilize first, than she is to suffer from staying on a steady dose of mirt for a while. 

 

But you guys do whatever you need to do. Just, if you ask for advice, please try thinking about the advice you get, and read the resources recommended, before taking action that is the opposite of the advice you get. If after taking the time to really inform yourself you still think your chosen course of action is best, I respect that 100%. It is incredibly difficult to see someone you love suffer. Just be aware that by taking rapid action to alleviate that pain (yours and hers) you may make things worse. Better to take some time to learn and to carefully choose a course of action.

 

I won't be posting on this thread again, I think you have all the information I can give you.

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Rhiannon
3 hours ago, Gemma92 said:

Thank you for visiting my thread. I am sorry you are suffering still. I am glad you aren't in pure hell anymore 

though. 

I'll check out her story, thanks! 

 

Gianna Kali of Beyond Meds was incredibly sick for a number of years. She's doing much better now. She posts here sometimes as Gia K. Check out her website, google Beyond Meds.

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Gridley
5 minutes ago, Rhiannon said:

Try to find my "trellis" post, it's a good analogy.

 

Here's the trellis post Rhiannon referred to in her response to icerose87.

 

   On 8/30/2011 at 2:28 PM,  Rhiannon said: 
When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

 

 

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Gridley
2 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

So my opinion is that she is more likely to suffer from a rapid taper and more rapid changes done without letting her stabilize first, than she is to suffer from staying on a steady dose of mirt for a while. 

 

 

Rhiannon has given you very good advice.  The effects of the Mirt will remain in place long after you've stopped taking it.  What needed now, after all these changes, is stability, which mean holding with no changes so your body can catch up and stabilize.

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ShiningLight
20 hours ago, Gemma92 said:

One more thing for tonight. Mirtazapine is known for causing dementia because it's an antihistamine. Am I in danger for that since I have to hold on it? 

 

Dementia is defined as  *progressive* memory and cognitive problems that interfere with daily functioning. Mirt may cause memory problems but I doubt it causes dementia per se, which is not typically a side effect of meds--it's its own separate illness. 

 

In regards to not feeling like dressing well or brushing your hair, take opposite action if you can, ie do it anyway. The more you stop doing things, the harder of a chore they seem. As I'm sure you know, the brain works on habit. Takes far less energy to maintain a habit of brushing your hair than to start a new behavior of brushing. In other words, if you do it, it gets easier to do it. If you stop doing it, it gets easier to stay stopped. See also: neuroplasticity. 😉

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Gemma92
14 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

 

Dementia is defined as  *progressive* memory and cognitive problems that interfere with daily functioning. Mirt may cause memory problems but I doubt it causes dementia per se, which is not typically a side effect of meds--it's its own separate illness. 

 

In regards to not feeling like dressing well or brushing your hair, take opposite action if you can, ie do it anyway. The more you stop doing things, the harder of a chore they seem. As I'm sure you know, the brain works on habit. Takes far less energy to maintain a habit of brushing your hair than to start a new behavior of brushing. In other words, if you do it, it gets easier to do it. If you stop doing it, it gets easier to stay stopped. See also: neuroplasticity. 😉

Yeah, true. It's still hard doing the things that I do everyday already though. But I guess I'll try working on one thing at a time that I struggle with even more. I hope I can train my brain.

  I'm finally getting my diet under control. I'm going to be ordering organic food. 

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Gemma92
19 hours ago, Gridley said:

 

Rhiannon has given you very good advice.  The effects of the Mirt will remain in place long after you've stopped taking it.  What needed now, after all these changes, is stability, which mean holding with no changes so your body can catch up and stabilize.

I already made a lot of cuts from 15 to 11mg but I'll stop and hold for now. Hopefully I didn't make things worse.

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Cocopuffz17
50 minutes ago, Gemma92 said:

Yeah, true. It's still hard doing the things that I do everyday already though. But I guess I'll try working on one thing at a time that I struggle with even more. I hope I can train my brain.

  I'm finally getting my diet under control. I'm going to be ordering organic food. 

That’s exciting to hear. I know for a fact nutrition is key in recovery. That is the o lot variable that has changed this time from previous attempts for coming off this medication. You got this! 

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