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vagabond: depression, anxiety, self esteem


vagabond

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Hi, I am 24. I quit my job and moved home last year because of being severely depressed and suicidal. I had another suicidal depressive episode when I was 14, but I have basically always been some degree of depressed. My depression has to do with my isolation and low self esteem. I havent tried meds ever until over the past year. I am currently on 225mg of Effexor and 15mg of remeron, but I also tried wellbutrin and prozac briefly and was on olanzapine for a while. Literally nothing has helped except mess me up even more.

 

I am just making an account to learn more, I am not ready to taper yet because I am still very unstable and I am scared I might hurt myself. I also am not fully educated on whether meds are good or bad, whether I need them, etc. I definitely lean strongly towards them being b******t. But I am not very smart, so I dont understand it well enough to know for sure, and I want to be open minded for now. 

 

At this point, I just feel so disconnected from it all, I've lost my desires/goals in life, I feel less emotion, I dont even try to socialize, I have no faith in my abilities, little hope that Ill ever get better, I dont believe love exists, I dont think I can ever be happy, have friends or self esteem or ever be a normal functioning member of society again. I am really scared by it all, I am still unemployed, I was going to go back to college but I've cancelled that now too. I have my older sibling who is a great support and my parents too.

 

I got a dog a month ago, and wow it has helped wayyyy more than anything. I love her so much, I take really good care of her, we go on so many adventures, she forces me to wake in the morning, to have a routine, to get fresh air, to clear my mind, to get exercise, to talk to people, to see new places. I used to constantly feel empty and pointless, especially when alone and idle, I would ruminate. But now, instead of ruminating, I try to spend that time with my dog instead, I also feel significantly less lonely and somehow time with her doesn't feel pointless and meaningless. She is 7 and has never had an owner or a chance to be a dog and play etc. Ive taught her how to swim, I am very patient with her, shes so calm and well behaved, I am teaching her many commands and she learns them fast. I cant even imagine life without her now.

 

Currently, my plan is to look for a job, even a sh*tty part time job because I need money, a routine would be good and it would give me more purpose and fill time and I would talk to more people besides just my parents. So thats a good starting point I think, after that, I want to exercise more and I want to take Spanish lessons (but its expensive). I need a good way to make friends, but its hard and my low self esteem makes it near impossible. I also have the issue of not knowing what my sexuality is, so that prevents dating as well, but low self esteem is the most significant obstacle.

 

Once I am more stable, I am considering getting off these meds but I am scared that I can never get off them now. And its not even like they are helping me at all, maybe the Effexor does some emotional blunting but I don't consider that progress if its just making me less empathetic and less able to be happy. Prior to meds, the emotional pain was very unbearable though.

 

Anyways, nice to meet you. Thank you!

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to vagabond: depression, anxiety, self esteem
  • Moderator

Welcome to SA, Vagabond.  I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

 

It's great that you got a dog and she's providing so much comfort to you.  We have two rescue dogs and they are a big support to me.  Your activity plan sounds very good.

 

I encourage you to explore around the site.  

 

I saw you that you included anxiety in your tag.  Here are some techniques that have helped many members to deal with anxiety.  Dr. Claire Weekes suffered from anxiety and did pioneering work in coping with it.  Her techniques have helped me to deal with anxiety.


 

 
This is your Introductory topic, where you can can post updates, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.   

March 22, 2022: hold at 4.8mg and shift to Imipramine taper

Aug. 5, 2022: shift to Valium taper.  

Current dose as of Aug. 5, 2022: 4.3mg

Taper is 77% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Aug. 5: 9.5mg 

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5 and shift to Valium taper

Taper is 87% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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5 hours ago, Gridley said:

It's great that you got a dog and she's providing so much comfort to you.  We have two rescue dogs and they are a big support to me.  Your activity plan sounds very good.

Thank you very much for the resources on anxiety. I will look into them. Yes, I just did 10km and a swim with my dog and normally I wouldn't have gone outside at all. Focussing now on getting a job first, and then more socializing later. Then I may look more at dropping the meds. I hope they are not permanently damaging

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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  • Moderator
16 hours ago, vagabond said:

hope they are not permanently damaging

They are not.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.   

March 22, 2022: hold at 4.8mg and shift to Imipramine taper

Aug. 5, 2022: shift to Valium taper.  

Current dose as of Aug. 5, 2022: 4.3mg

Taper is 77% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Aug. 5: 9.5mg 

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5 and shift to Valium taper

Taper is 87% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey.

 

I am trying to consider whether I should quit these meds. I am realizing I am depressed, I have been for most of my life but significantly lately. Mainly due to awful self esteem and strong social isolation. I am getting a job and a bit more stable but still pretty unstable.

 

Since taking olanzapine briefly, I get occasional muscle spasms. Effexor has caused emotional blunting and poorer sex drive. Remeron makes me have weird colourful patterns when i close my eyes at night and a strong feeling of being paralyzed. Crazy dreams. And at night before I even take it, I now get wavy moving vision, I get it in the morning as well. In the morning my hands are shaky and I feel so weak. 

 

So its all worrying me so much and I am worried I will never be ok. I dont know what to do regarding meds if I should taper remeron or not

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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  • Moderator Emeritus

What drugs are you currently taking?

 

Please list the drug name, the dose and the times you take them.

 

I will ask the other mods for their assistance.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

Link to comment

I am in a similar boat Vagabond.  I am 50 though and this has been my worst experience .  I am unstable at this point as well.  However, you seem to have a plan and that is wonderful.  I dont even have that.  I also like that you can connect with your dog.  i think that was a very wise choice.  I have a dog and 3 cats and I feel they would go much neglected  if my husband didnt help.  I cant connect with them even.  The guilt regarding that is enormous as well not to say connecting with my son.  So I think you are on the right track . Dont worry about jumping off the drugs right now.  Worry about stabilizing a getting some of a semblance back .  

 2019  Current:  Right now on Gabapentin 100-300 mg as need for anxiety during day , Lorazepam .5 mg at night , .5 mg if needed during the day, bio – identical hormones Estradiol Patch and Progesterone , LAMICTAL  200mg. , Rexaulti 1 mg at .night.  Below has been my last 7 months (Summer of Hell).  I was attempting to get my depression under control with a new doctor. So i am currently not trying to taper although that was my aim about 2 years ago before brain tumor.

 

  • August 26-28th - Lithium: 300 mg. Added at night. Could not take due to symptoms(***)
  • July 27thAugust 26 th Pristiq : 50 mg. 1 x day morning –(***)
  • July 31 – Started Gabapentin: 100 mg. per cap take 1 in am, 1 at noon, and 1 to 2 at night for anxiety and insomnia.
  • July 19th– Wanted to increase Rexulti: raised to 2 mg. Did not comply with this(***)
  • July 9 th - Ordered GeneSight Testing
  • July 9th - Prescribed Lexapro but didn't start because of waiting for Emsam out of system and waiting for GeneSight Testing to come back.(***)
  • July 3rd - Back on Rexulti at night
  • July 2 – July 7 :Emsam Patch(***)
  • June 28 -off Rexulti  (Continued at night :LAMICTAL increased to 200 mg, Lorazepam at night .5 mg, Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly)
  • June 15 - Ordered Depakote 250mg 1 at night but did not get filled by pharmacy and did not take
  • June 21 – July 2 - Discontinued Cymbalta for almost 2 weeks to get out of system in order to be able to take MAOI drug EMSAM  (***)
  • June 3rd -up LAMICTAL :  to 200 mg at night (***)  
  • June 21 -stopped Cymbalta -
  • May 29th -increased Rexulti :to 1mg.
  • May 19th - Started Cymbalta :20 mg Rexulti at night .5 - (-**)
  • May 14th -Start Rexulti: .5 mg –up to 1 mg. 1 a day in week take during day . Suppose to Start gabapentin 100 mg take 1 in am, 1 at noon, and 1 to 2 at night for anxiety and insomnia.did not comply (*)
  • April 17 -approximately on Latuda :20 mg. -May 12th went off Latuda(*)
  • February 28t-h (approximatel) decreased Cymbalta: up 30 mg. Resume Abilify of 2 mg a day March 14th discontinue Abilify and Cymbalta (*)
  • February 12- (approximately ) started Abilify 2 mg. Discontinued Prozac
  • January 14- (approximate) started on Cymbalta 30mg increase to 60 mg in a

         approx. 4 days continued on Prozac. Decreased Zoloft to 25 mg. then stopped Zoloft after 1 week (*)

2019

*{Continued at night :LAMICTAL 100 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg. Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly}

**{Continued at night :LAMICTAL 100 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg, Rexulti .5 mg, . Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly}

***{Continued at night :LAMICTAL increased to 200 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg.Rexulti 1 mg Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly

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26 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

What drugs are you currently taking?

 

Please list the drug name, the dose and the times you take them.

 

I will ask the other mods for their assistance.

Effexor 225mg at morning. Remeron 15mg at night.

 

I am very unstable though, I think I'm doing a bit better overall but still pretty unsafe. Not sure if I should try another drug like an MAOI or something. Thanks

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

Link to comment
17 minutes ago, Gigi66 said:

I am in a similar boat Vagabond.  I am 50 though and this has been my worst experience .  I am unstable at this point as well.  However, you seem to have a plan and that is wonderful.  I dont even have that.  I also like that you can connect with your dog.  i think that was a very wise choice.  I have a dog and 3 cats and I feel they would go much neglected  if my husband didnt help.  I cant connect with them even.  The guilt regarding that is enormous as well not to say connecting with my son.  So I think you are on the right track . Dont worry about jumping off the drugs right now.  Worry about stabilizing a getting some of a semblance back .  

Thank you very much. I am very sorry you are going through a hard time. I am sure you can come up with a plan too. Not to solve everything, but just somewhere to begin making some improvements. 

 

I can connect with my dog, but when I am very down, I feel like I dont even truly love her and shes just an animal that wants food. Dogs tend to choose one single master, I wouldnt take it personally if your husband has a stronger connection with them. And maybe you are overgeneralizing. Its not either you have a connection or you dont, theres different degrees. Sorry to hear about your son, do you not have any connection? I am way too scared to have kids because I would constantly feel guilty for not being good enough or providing enough. Thanks!

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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I think it is about what you said.  The connection is not there because you are basic numb to everything.  I mean can we really even connect with ourselves.  As for my son he is 16 and has high  functioning autism, I did just tell him a bit of what I am going through because I couldnt hide it and he was worried.  He he said " you arent going to committ suicide are you"?  That was heart breaking to hear.  It was almost unbearable but real.  i tried to reassure him.  I hope I did but we all need to get to therapy to discuss this and thats hard when I am non functional.    Dont take kids off the table .  I wouldnt because what you say about not being good enough is right now clouded with your destabilization situation.  At some point when you are more stable you will see that is not true .  Then you will decide what is right for you.  It might be just having furry kids or the others if that is what you choose.   😉

 2019  Current:  Right now on Gabapentin 100-300 mg as need for anxiety during day , Lorazepam .5 mg at night , .5 mg if needed during the day, bio – identical hormones Estradiol Patch and Progesterone , LAMICTAL  200mg. , Rexaulti 1 mg at .night.  Below has been my last 7 months (Summer of Hell).  I was attempting to get my depression under control with a new doctor. So i am currently not trying to taper although that was my aim about 2 years ago before brain tumor.

 

  • August 26-28th - Lithium: 300 mg. Added at night. Could not take due to symptoms(***)
  • July 27thAugust 26 th Pristiq : 50 mg. 1 x day morning –(***)
  • July 31 – Started Gabapentin: 100 mg. per cap take 1 in am, 1 at noon, and 1 to 2 at night for anxiety and insomnia.
  • July 19th– Wanted to increase Rexulti: raised to 2 mg. Did not comply with this(***)
  • July 9 th - Ordered GeneSight Testing
  • July 9th - Prescribed Lexapro but didn't start because of waiting for Emsam out of system and waiting for GeneSight Testing to come back.(***)
  • July 3rd - Back on Rexulti at night
  • July 2 – July 7 :Emsam Patch(***)
  • June 28 -off Rexulti  (Continued at night :LAMICTAL increased to 200 mg, Lorazepam at night .5 mg, Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly)
  • June 15 - Ordered Depakote 250mg 1 at night but did not get filled by pharmacy and did not take
  • June 21 – July 2 - Discontinued Cymbalta for almost 2 weeks to get out of system in order to be able to take MAOI drug EMSAM  (***)
  • June 3rd -up LAMICTAL :  to 200 mg at night (***)  
  • June 21 -stopped Cymbalta -
  • May 29th -increased Rexulti :to 1mg.
  • May 19th - Started Cymbalta :20 mg Rexulti at night .5 - (-**)
  • May 14th -Start Rexulti: .5 mg –up to 1 mg. 1 a day in week take during day . Suppose to Start gabapentin 100 mg take 1 in am, 1 at noon, and 1 to 2 at night for anxiety and insomnia.did not comply (*)
  • April 17 -approximately on Latuda :20 mg. -May 12th went off Latuda(*)
  • February 28t-h (approximatel) decreased Cymbalta: up 30 mg. Resume Abilify of 2 mg a day March 14th discontinue Abilify and Cymbalta (*)
  • February 12- (approximately ) started Abilify 2 mg. Discontinued Prozac
  • January 14- (approximate) started on Cymbalta 30mg increase to 60 mg in a

         approx. 4 days continued on Prozac. Decreased Zoloft to 25 mg. then stopped Zoloft after 1 week (*)

2019

*{Continued at night :LAMICTAL 100 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg. Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly}

**{Continued at night :LAMICTAL 100 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg, Rexulti .5 mg, . Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly}

***{Continued at night :LAMICTAL increased to 200 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg.Rexulti 1 mg Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, vagabond said:

Effexor 225mg at morning. Remeron 15mg at night.

 

You may be experiencing serotonin toxicity from these two drugs.  See the interaction check below.

 

Q:  Do you have any of the symptoms mentioned in the interaction check?

 

I had mild serotonin toxicity when I was taking 100mg Pristiq.  My diastolic blood pressure went up, I was experiencing confusion, agitation, sleeping a lot, skipped heart beats, sweating even in cold weather.

 

You also mention alcohol in your drug signature.  Please see the interaction at the bottom.

 

Interactions between your drugs

Major

venlafaxine mirtazapine

Applies to: Effexor (venlafaxine), Remeron (mirtazapine)

Using venlafaxine together with mirtazapine can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Drug and food interactions

Moderate

venlafaxine food

Applies to: Effexor (venlafaxine)

Alcohol can increase the nervous system side effects of venlafaxine such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with venlafaxine. Do not use more than the recommended dose of venlafaxine, and avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medication affects you. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you have any questions or concerns.

 

Moderate

mirtazapine food

Applies to: Remeron (mirtazapine)

Alcohol can increase the nervous system side effects of mirtazapine such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with mirtazapine. Do not use more than the recommended dose of mirtazapine, and avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medication affects you. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you have any questions or concerns.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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On 9/3/2019 at 9:19 PM, Gigi66 said:

I think it is about what you said.  The connection is not there because you are basic numb to everything.  I mean can we really even connect with ourselves.  As for my son he is 16 and has high  functioning autism, I did just tell him a bit of what I am going through because I couldnt hide it and he was worried.  He he said " you arent going to committ suicide are you"?  That was heart breaking to hear.  It was almost unbearable but real.  i tried to reassure him.  I hope I did but we all need to get to therapy to discuss this and thats hard when I am non functional.    Dont take kids off the table .  I wouldnt because what you say about not being good enough is right now clouded with your destabilization situation.  At some point when you are more stable you will see that is not true .  Then you will decide what is right for you.  It might be just having furry kids or the others if that is what you choose.   😉

Hey, thanks for the comment. Regarding kids, I just think I dont work a good enough job, I dont have strong enough communication skills or self esteem for a relationship, and I am not loving and extroverted enough to care for kids. I fear that with this economy, no one would be home for them and I would constantly feel like a bad father no matter what. But you have a point, maybe I'll change my mind later. I just dont really see why people want kids when we are already overpopulated and theres so many kids who need parents instead of creating more. How can I care for another life when I hardly want to live my own and dont enjoy my own, wouldnt that depression get instilled in the kids? Yes, I have a dog now and she gives me so much meaning and happiness.

 

Again sorry to hear what youre going through and that conversation with your son sounds like one of the most intense and emotional times ever. Good on you for being honest, thats strength it took to achieve that.

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

Link to comment
On 9/3/2019 at 9:24 PM, ChessieCat said:

You may be experiencing serotonin toxicity from these two drugs.  See the interaction check below.

Hey, thank you very much for this reply, I really appreciate the time you spent on me and for how caring you are. Sorry for the long response, I understand if you dont read it all 

 

It really bothers me how none of the mental health "Help" has any care or understanding enough to be able to discuss the details of the medication such as they do here. It's been a long time now where I have been saying these meds don't help and have been describing all these awful symptoms I've experienced, and they dont care or have any input. Seratonin toxicity like you mentioned has never even been brought up.

 

I literally experience every single thing on that check list except for excessive sweating, vommiting or seizure. A couple of the ones that really stand out for me are blurred vision, confusion, shakiness, random occasional muscle twitching, higher heart rate/blood pressure (Prior to meds I was usually 110 over 70, now I am consistently 150 over 85 for months and every time I bring up this concern, its brushed aside). And finally hallucination, this is one that scares me. Prior to meds, I never had any such experience. But since, I have been having occasional hypnagogic hallucinations typically at night time. When I discuss these concerns, again I am dismissed with saying may be related to my stress from anxiety or from potentially another mental illness. But I NEVER had it before. For the first week of taking Effexor, every night when I dimmed the lights, the entire room went wavy and the walls were breathing like crazy and it was very scary. Since then, I get weird sounds or songs or voices pop up in my head (I'm not "hearing voices" externally, I just get weird voice fragments in my thoughts) and at night time, my vision can get a bit wavy and not still, hard to focus. And I also experience heavy confusion between my dreams and reality. I am constantly misinterpreting my prior dreams for reality and I am constantl doing things in my dreams that I think I am doing in real life, and sometimes I wake in the night and look around the room with my eyes closed but I can see everything in my room because I hallucinate seeing it. Am I going crazy, is this permanent?

 

I have discussed all my concerns with my doctor and time and time again, I get dismissed, lied to, gaslighted, etc. So eventually my doctor says well either take the meds or dont, its up to you, in fact maybe you should quit if youre so worried. I never was saying I wanted to quit, I just wanted respect and medical care for my concerns. Anyways, so I am going ahead with quitting the meds (Under doctor supervision). I stopped mirtazapine immediately, already I feel MUCH better, it's way easier to wake in the morning, no more tinnitus, no more being paralyzed and less hypnagogia, etc but I am finding it harder to get deep sleep now than I did prior to meds. Then I will be tapering Effexor at 37.5 every 2 weeks (she wanted me to taper 75mg every week but I strongly insisted a slower taper since I am not strong/stable currently. She thought that it was way too overly long of a taper but complied with my wishes)

 

Regarding the alcohol, can I really not have ANY at all? It is a social thing for me with family and I usually have no more than 1 or 2 drinks in a day. After quitting meds, can you drink alcohol again like normal? This is my first long term medication, and jumping to 225mg in a short time frame definitely seems like it would make me more likely to get seratonin syndrome. Excuse my ignorance and misunderstanding but if I did in fact have seratonin syndrome, then shouldn't I be overwhelmed with happiness? But that is not the case. Can my brain ever be normal and healthy again after this, do I need other meds or just none at all? A few weeks ago, I stupidly had a crisis and drink 750ml of 33% liquor, the following day, I felt completely scarily unmotivated, zero enjoyment in anything whatsoever, I had no desires. Since then I have gotten better, but I still care about things less and feel less emotion. Still pretty unstable though I am better since getting my dog. Thank you very much again, I look forward to hearing from you, hope you had a good weekend!

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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2 hours ago, vagabond said:

Regarding the alcohol, can I really not have ANY at all? It is a social thing for me with family and I usually have no more than 1 or 2 drinks in a day. After quitting meds, can you drink alcohol again like normal?

 

SA's suggest not drinking alcohol.  And there are many prescription drugs which warn again drinking alcohol.  And one or two drinks every not is not a small amount.  The decision whether you drink is entirely yours.  alcohol-and-beer

 

2 hours ago, vagabond said:

I stopped mirtazapine immediately, already I feel MUCH better, it's way easier to wake in the morning, no more tinnitus, no more being paralyzed and less hypnagogia, etc but I am finding it harder to get deep sleep now than I did prior to meds. Then I will be tapering Effexor at 37.5 every 2 weeks

 

If you have only just stopped the mirtazapine it would be a good idea to wait for a couple of months before commencing a new taper.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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13 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

If you have only just stopped the mirtazapine it would be a good idea to wait for a couple of months before commencing a new taper.

 

Yes, I will cut down my alcohol. Today I am feeling very physically anxious, out of it, dizzy, confused, etc. I dont know if thats from the mirtazapine withdrawal? If so, does that mean that I should be on the med if I am worse without it? A couple of months until next taper is a good idea. However, I have only been on the meds for a couple of months, so to wait months more before tapering, would be to double my time spent on them. In this case, do you still think months is an appropriate time period to delay the next taper?

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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18 hours ago, vagabond said:

Hey, thanks for the comment. Regarding kids, I just think I dont work a good enough job, I dont have strong enough communication skills or self esteem for a relationship, and I am not loving and extroverted enough to care for kids. I fear that with this economy, no one would be home for them and I would constantly feel like a bad father no matter what. But you have a point, maybe I'll change my mind later. I just dont really see why people want kids when we are already overpopulated and theres so many kids who need parents instead of creating more. How can I care for another life when I hardly want to live my own and dont enjoy my own, wouldnt that depression get instilled in the kids? Yes, I have a dog now and she gives me so much meaning and happiness.

 

Again sorry to hear what youre going through and that conversation with your son sounds like one of the most intense and emotional times ever. Good on you for being honest, thats strength it took to achieve that.

Hello Vagabond,  you sound like a true genuine person.  You would maybe make a great mentor to one of those children that someday need parents or just a mentor and friend.  Dont worry about those kinda things.  Need to keep yourself well.  I do worry about depression and my child being surrounded by the negative energy and possibly passing it down to him.  It is a &^*% load of guilt cuz that wasnt something I was cognitive of.  I cant even say it was something I went into blindly it wasnt but I just didnt know enough.  I pray my child maybe will learn from this episode as much as I can teach him, without damage.  However, you dont give yourself enough credit you cant be loving and caring outside of yourself if you cant be that way with your self .  Sounds like mumbo jumbo but so true.  I hope and pray you will have someday all the things you need to have that relationship with people you want , not need and that you find your place.  I wish i could give you more, but I am so myopic right now I cant see anything.  I will be off this site for a period of I dont know how long.  However, find as much support as you can here , if that is where it is at and other groups.  In particular facebook has many support groups for mental health.  my blessings to you.

 2019  Current:  Right now on Gabapentin 100-300 mg as need for anxiety during day , Lorazepam .5 mg at night , .5 mg if needed during the day, bio – identical hormones Estradiol Patch and Progesterone , LAMICTAL  200mg. , Rexaulti 1 mg at .night.  Below has been my last 7 months (Summer of Hell).  I was attempting to get my depression under control with a new doctor. So i am currently not trying to taper although that was my aim about 2 years ago before brain tumor.

 

  • August 26-28th - Lithium: 300 mg. Added at night. Could not take due to symptoms(***)
  • July 27thAugust 26 th Pristiq : 50 mg. 1 x day morning –(***)
  • July 31 – Started Gabapentin: 100 mg. per cap take 1 in am, 1 at noon, and 1 to 2 at night for anxiety and insomnia.
  • July 19th– Wanted to increase Rexulti: raised to 2 mg. Did not comply with this(***)
  • July 9 th - Ordered GeneSight Testing
  • July 9th - Prescribed Lexapro but didn't start because of waiting for Emsam out of system and waiting for GeneSight Testing to come back.(***)
  • July 3rd - Back on Rexulti at night
  • July 2 – July 7 :Emsam Patch(***)
  • June 28 -off Rexulti  (Continued at night :LAMICTAL increased to 200 mg, Lorazepam at night .5 mg, Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly)
  • June 15 - Ordered Depakote 250mg 1 at night but did not get filled by pharmacy and did not take
  • June 21 – July 2 - Discontinued Cymbalta for almost 2 weeks to get out of system in order to be able to take MAOI drug EMSAM  (***)
  • June 3rd -up LAMICTAL :  to 200 mg at night (***)  
  • June 21 -stopped Cymbalta -
  • May 29th -increased Rexulti :to 1mg.
  • May 19th - Started Cymbalta :20 mg Rexulti at night .5 - (-**)
  • May 14th -Start Rexulti: .5 mg –up to 1 mg. 1 a day in week take during day . Suppose to Start gabapentin 100 mg take 1 in am, 1 at noon, and 1 to 2 at night for anxiety and insomnia.did not comply (*)
  • April 17 -approximately on Latuda :20 mg. -May 12th went off Latuda(*)
  • February 28t-h (approximatel) decreased Cymbalta: up 30 mg. Resume Abilify of 2 mg a day March 14th discontinue Abilify and Cymbalta (*)
  • February 12- (approximately ) started Abilify 2 mg. Discontinued Prozac
  • January 14- (approximate) started on Cymbalta 30mg increase to 60 mg in a

         approx. 4 days continued on Prozac. Decreased Zoloft to 25 mg. then stopped Zoloft after 1 week (*)

2019

*{Continued at night :LAMICTAL 100 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg. Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly}

**{Continued at night :LAMICTAL 100 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg, Rexulti .5 mg, . Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly}

***{Continued at night :LAMICTAL increased to 200 mg and Lorazepam at night .5 mg.Rexulti 1 mg Progesterone 100 mg and Estridol Patch .1 weekly

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4 hours ago, vagabond said:

Yes, I will cut down my alcohol.

 

My suggestion would be to do this gradually.   It's also recommended to only make one change at a time.  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

 

Alcohol mimics the effect of GABA.  See this for more details: https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol

 

4 hours ago, vagabond said:

However, I have only been on the meds for a couple of months, so to wait months more before tapering, would be to double my time spent on them.

 

It only takes about 1 month for the brain to become physiologically dependent on a drug.  And you have taken psychiatric drugs previously so it isn't just about this current drug.  The effect of going on and off and changing drugs has a cumulative effect.

 

4 hours ago, vagabond said:

In this case, do you still think months is an appropriate time period to delay the next taper?

 

It is better to start from a place of stability than to risk tapering too soon.  If you taper too soon and/or too quickly you may end up having to do a very long hold which can actually result in it taking you longer to get off the drug than if you had tapered at a harm reduction rate.  During this holding time you could be gradually reducing your alcohol consumption.

 

Here at SA we tell members to throw out the calendar and listen to your body/symptoms.  It has nothing to do with how strong you are as a person, it's to do with the brain needing the drug, and our goal is to sneak it away, allowing the brain to adapt gradually to not getting as much of the drug.

 

In the scheme of things it is better to get off a drug with minimal discomfort than to risk going too quickly and suffering.  I was only.  BUT the thing to remember is that you are reducing your drug.  I get impatient sometimes and consider just stopping and see what happens, but I've been a member of SA since October 2015 and have seen a lot of members make rash decisions and then had issues which sometimes takes months to resolve, and sometimes then don't resolve completely.  I'm travelling along fine, and even though it is frustratingly slow, I don't want to upset the apple cart.

 

Quote

Still on 225mg Effexor, will begin tapering by 37.5mg every two weeks beginning Sept 9th

 

From your drug signature.  A 10% taper of 225mg Effexor is 202.5mg (calculation:  225mg x 0.9).  We recommend holding for about 4 weeks before making the next reduction, provided you are not experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

 

Please note that if you round the dose for easier measuring, always round up so that it <10%.

 

The next reduction would be calculated on 202.5mg so 202.5mg (or the rounded up dose eg 203mg) x 0.9

 

So that we can see your drug history at a glance and not have to try and get the information from your posts please update your drug signature whenever you make a change so that it remains current:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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6 hours ago, Gigi66 said:

Hello Vagabond,  you sound like a true genuine person.  You would maybe make a great mentor to one of those children that someday need parents or just a mentor and friend.  Dont worry about those kinda things.  Need to keep yourself well.  I do worry about depression and my child being surrounded by the negative energy and possibly passing it down to him.  It is a &^*% load of guilt cuz that wasnt something I was cognitive of.  I cant even say it was something I went into blindly it wasnt but I just didnt know enough.  I pray my child maybe will learn from this episode as much as I can teach him, without damage.  However, you dont give yourself enough credit you cant be loving and caring outside of yourself if you cant be that way with your self .  Sounds like mumbo jumbo but so true.  I hope and pray you will have someday all the things you need to have that relationship with people you want , not need and that you find your place.  I wish i could give you more, but I am so myopic right now I cant see anything.  I will be off this site for a period of I dont know how long.  However, find as much support as you can here , if that is where it is at and other groups.  In particular facebook has many support groups for mental health.  my blessings to you.

 

I would love to one day be able to be someone who can help and care for others and be someone people trust and can rely on. Thank you for the good wishes. Be easy on yourself during your time off the site. You sound very loving and a good person

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

It only takes about 1 month for the brain to become physiologically dependent on a drug.  And you have taken psychiatric drugs previously so it isn't just about this current drug.  The effect of going on and off and changing drugs has a cumulative effect.

That's exactly what I keep discussing with the doctors, but I am always dismissed and they never say anything about the damage caused by so many meds. So much lies and manipulation. Don't know if I can get off meds for good now.

 

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

It is better to start from a place of stability than to risk tapering too soon

Very good point. I will be very cautious and give it lots of time. Since getting off mirtazapine, I have had a ton of anxiety, self harm ideation and depression. Does this mean I should go back on the meds or just wait for it to get better?

 

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

From your drug signature.  A 10% taper of 225mg Effexor is 202.5mg (calculation:  225mg x 0.9).  We recommend holding for about 4 weeks before making the next reduction, provided you are not experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

 

Please note that if you round the dose for easier measuring, always round up so that it <10%.

 

The next reduction would be calculated on 202.5mg so 202.5mg (or the rounded up dose eg 203mg) x 0.9

 

So that we can see your drug history at a glance and not have to try and get the information from your posts please update your drug signature whenever you make a change so that it remains current:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

So a 10% taper every 4 weeks is what is reccomended? For the example you gave of 202.5mg, I dont have meds in those sizes, so is it ok to cut them? Regarding my signature, is there really anything wrong with it? I thought it was updated. Thank you for your support

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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3 minutes ago, vagabond said:

Don't know if I can get off meds for good now.

 

It is better to at least reduce your drugs.  And you aren't going to know unless you try.

 

4 minutes ago, vagabond said:

Since getting off mirtazapine, I have had a ton of anxiety, self harm ideation and depression. Does this mean I should go back on the meds or just wait for it to get better?

 

You started 15mg mid July 2019 and quit (I'm assuming CT) 5 days ago.  It depends on whether you can cope with the symptoms you are getting.  It's up to you to decide if you want to reinstate.  However, it is better to do it sooner rather than later.  If you do, we would suggest starting with a tiny amount.  You might find 1mg takes the edge of your withdrawal symptoms.  Please read Post #1 of this topic:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

The idea of reinstating isn't to get rid of the symptoms completely but to bring them to a level that you can handle.  It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to full level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.  You will need to be patient and try and stay calm.  We have seen SA members panic, which can add symptoms which are not withdrawal/adverse reaction symptoms, and it is difficult to know if reinstatement is working.  Also we have had members panic and then make a bad decision about increasing their drug too soon and by too much and have become much worse.

 

This topic explains how to get the dose you need.

 

Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

 

13 minutes ago, vagabond said:

So a 10% taper every 4 weeks is what is reccomended? For the example you gave of 202.5mg, I dont have meds in those sizes, so is it ok to cut them?

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

This topic explains how to get the dose you need.

 

Tips for tapering off Effexor (venlafaxine)

 

14 minutes ago, vagabond said:

Regarding my signature, is there really anything wrong with it? I thought it was updated.

 

I was referring to this:  Still on 225mg Effexor, will begin tapering by 37.5mg every two weeks beginning Sept 9th

 

I suggest that you take out the part that I have cross out.

 

If you reinstate mirtazapine, please update and show the date and the dose.

 

When you do start your Effexor taper please update with date and dose each time you make a reduction.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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 You have to realise that you have also taken Zyprexa for a short time as well.  June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg

 

Please add the start and stop dates for Zyprexa to your drug signature.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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27 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

When you do start your Effexor taper please update with date and dose each time you make a reduction.

 

Thank you!

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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Prior to taking Mirtazapine, I slept well. I stayed asleep all night, waking wasnt too difficult and I didnt oversleep. Then on mirtazapine, it completely knocks you out and makes you oversleep a lot and very difficult to wake up. Since quitting mirtazapine, it initially gave me significant anxiety but thats stopping. But one thing I still have now is my sleep is much poorer, I often wake hours before I should and cant sleep anymore. So have I basically destroyed my brains natural healthy ability to sleep and now Ill always have problems?

 

When I got on meds, my family encouraged it because Ive been depressed a long time and they wanted things to be easier on me and to get some help. Its a great idea if it were true, but its been nothing but hell and unhelpful. I am wondering now if im so permanently destabilized that i will always need meds and always be messed from them. I am also wondering, what if I am depressed and without meds I will suffer my whole life and there is the "right" med out there, I just need to find it. Or if trying another med will just prove to screw me even more. Scared by it all, and I hate that I cant trust professionals. Thanks

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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The trouble with going on a drug for a long time is that they can eventually reach tolerance, aka poop out.  When that happens you need a higher dose of the drug and then they will eventually poop out too.  Then the issue becomes being in poop out and trying to get off that drug and/or switching to another drug.  And switching to a different drug has its own set of possible problems, not covering the withdrawal from the previous drug, possible start up, side effects, adverse effects from the new drug.  And the worst thing about this scenario is that you will not know what is causing the issues.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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13 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Thanks for the info. I dont really know if pooping out is my concern if they never helped in the first place.

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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  • Moderator Emeritus
41 minutes ago, vagabond said:

I am also wondering, what if I am depressed and without meds I will suffer my whole life and there is the "right" med out there, I just need to find it.

 

My mention of poop out was in response to this comment.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

So I recently went from 225mg to 187.5mg. I noticed now that I am often waking up only after 4 hours or so of sleep and then laying in bed half awake until morning. I also feel a lot more anxious, anxious dreams and feeliglng worried and not at ease. 

 

Sp basically am I stuck taking meds that dont help at the threat of them making me worse if i dont take them? Thanks

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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Btw my job has been helping me feel much better. So has my dog but i learned she has cancer and maybe has only another week to live

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

Link to comment

My dog is dying, feel awful

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

Link to comment
  • Mentor

😢, that is terrible. I know this will be very hard. But think of all the good times. Cherish every moment you have. I’m hoping for the best. 

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. 

 

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  • 1 month later...

I got a new dog. It's helping

Aug 2018 - Wellbutrin 150mg - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

Sept 2018 - Prozac 100mg (I think) - 1 week (Quit bad effects)

April 31st 2019 - Hospitalization

Mid May 2019 - Effexor 225mg (Some mood blunting but largely unhelpful/bad effects)

June 2019 - Zyprexa 2.5mg (With the effexor, Bad effects/unhelpful, unsure exact start date but early june)

July 2019 - Quit Zyprexa (Unsure exact date but mid-july)

Mid July 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine (With the effexor, unsure if helpful, bad effects)

Sept 5th Quit Mirtazapine (Feel much better as a result)

Oct 7th Reduced Effexor by 37.5mg to 187.5mg

Still on 187.5mg Effexor

 

I drink about 3-5 times a week. I take Omega 3, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin B and D, Iron

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