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thelegend

thelegend: hoping to get there

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thelegend

10 months in, are there examples of people actually stabilizing after this long of a hold, or is it time I look at doing something else?

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thelegend

Anyone?

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sunnysideup69
On 3/5/2020 at 5:57 AM, thelegend said:

Monthly Update:

 

Sensitive to sound - pretty much gone

Sensitive to touch - less, almost gone

Pins and needles - sometimes at night

Burning eyes, arms, back, feet - still have arms some mornings, eyes are still a problem

Hyper stimulation - less that the beginning, but still around.

Bad sleep - still awaken too early with anxiety...maybe it isn’t quite as early?

Waking with cortisal spikes - still around, maybe as bad as ever!

Light headedness, or feeling like you are not quite all there - still around, probably not as bad.

Massive anxiety - very much still around, bad as ever.

IBS - better, but still not gone, come back quite often in the AM.

Shaking - still happens when anxiety is high

Sweating - pretty much gone.

 

@thelegend, I know improvements may seem small, but you are definitely showing signs of healing. I do know what it's like to feel desperate, believe me. And to want to know if someone has been in exactly the same situation as you and has recovered. I am pretty sure there will have been many....whether you're holding and waiting for stability or whether you're off the drug and waiting for stability, the steps to recovery are still the same. Ten months of being unstable isn't uncommon, I'm afraid that's the truth, as far as I can tell and also from my own experience.

At the moment, your brain is on high alert because of WD...it can make you feel desperate. Try not to fan that flame by desperately searching online for people who've been in exactly your situation.....been there, done that, it doesn't help. It just ramps up the anxiety. Don't feed it. It's ok to ask for a reassuring word that you will heal, because sometimes we need other people to help us regulate our emotions, whilst we learn to navigate WD emotions ourselves. But don't set yourself up for failure by asking for speciific examples....noone has been in the exact situation you are in, we are all different, so you are unlikely to get a specific example which will provoke more anxiety, if you get what I mean?

Maybe focus instead on self soothing techniques. Have you tried the restorative yoga poses or do you meditate? Have you cut out sugar from your diet? Have you tried to take a bit of magnesium to help calm you? All of this helps and makes you feel less helpless in your own recovery. You will get there :) 

 

It seems like it's the anxiety and cortisol which are the main symptoms. 

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thelegend

@sunnysideup69 - yes I do just feel desperate. The anxiety can just be too much at times. I just wish I knew for sure if I was doing the right thing or just spinning my wheels. Last couple of days I have just gotten worse and worse. Wish there was a way to just end all of this. 
 

Yes the anxiety and cortisol morning are the worst, and they just don’t feel like they are getting any better. Though yesterday a lot of my old symptoms have come back a bit. Burning eyes, sensitivity to stimulation (sound, touch, etc). Do you guy ever find that even watching something silly can send a shock through your body? Something as dumb as watching home alone with my kids, when the bad guys would get it by a paint can or whatever, I would get an anxious shock...it is really weird. I have cut sugar, but quite honestly have noticed very little of any effect on the anxiety from this.

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Lynnardgirl

I know this is pure hell the anxiety, fear no sleeping goes on and on wondering if it will ever end.We have to believe truly believe we are

healing. Say this every day, Every day in every way I’m getting better and better and and truly believe this and you will see some changes. Just have faith and believe you will heal 

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thelegend

Thanks for the encouragement and prayers @Lynnardgirl, do you feel you are getting any better? I know you have even been holding longer than I have.

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sunnysideup69
On 3/8/2020 at 2:42 PM, thelegend said:

@sunnysideup69 - yes I do just feel desperate. The anxiety can just be too much at times. I just wish I knew for sure if I was doing the right thing or just spinning my wheels. Last couple of days I have just gotten worse and worse. Wish there was a way to just end all of this. 
 

Yes the anxiety and cortisol morning are the worst, and they just don’t feel like they are getting any better. Though yesterday a lot of my old symptoms have come back a bit. Burning eyes, sensitivity to stimulation (sound, touch, etc). Do you guy ever find that even watching something silly can send a shock through your body? Something as dumb as watching home alone with my kids, when the bad guys would get it by a paint can or whatever, I would get an anxious shock...it is really weird. I have cut sugar, but quite honestly have noticed very little of any effect on the anxiety from this.

 I can be freaked out by really random things when in a wave, it's completely normal.

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Lynnardgirl
2 hours ago, thelegend said:

Thanks for the encouragement and prayers @Lynnardgirl, do you feel you are getting any better? I know you have even been holding longer than I have.

Yes I can finally say I’m getting better ! Had a bad wave last week due to getting my eyebrows tattooed it sent me into a bad wave! But feeling almost normal this week crazy just a little anxious at times but so so Much better ! 
Hopefully soon you get more and more relief

God bless you my friend 

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thelegend
4 hours ago, Lynnardgirl said:

Yes I can finally say I’m getting better ! Had a bad wave last week due to getting my eyebrows tattooed it sent me into a bad wave! But feeling almost normal this week crazy just a little anxious at times but so so Much better ! 
Hopefully soon you get more and more relief

God bless you my friend 


Wow that is awesome! How long have you been holding at the same dose?

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Lynnardgirl
1 hour ago, thelegend said:


Wow that is awesome! How long have you been holding at the same dose?

Been holding for 15 long months 

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thelegend
On 3/9/2020 at 6:52 PM, Lynnardgirl said:

Been holding for 15 long months 

I am so sorry, but so glad you are turning the corner...I hope I get there eventually. Today is crap!

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Lynnardgirl
2 hours ago, thelegend said:

I am so sorry, but so glad you are turning the corner...I hope I get there eventually. Today is crap!

You will get  here!  You are having windows so this is such a good sign ! That’s what I had a few really good windows than bam back to horrible waves! Didn’t think they would ever end

and seemed to be getting worse! You sound like 

you are experiencing the same ! Hold tight your day is coming Ask, believe and you will receive 

God bless you my friend 

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thelegend
53 minutes ago, Lynnardgirl said:

You will get  here!  You are having windows so this is such a good sign ! That’s what I had a few really good windows than bam back to horrible waves! Didn’t think they would ever end

and seemed to be getting worse! You sound like 

you are experiencing the same ! Hold tight your day is coming Ask, believe and you will receive 

God bless you my friend 


thanks, I really appreciate your encouragement, friendship, and prayers!

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thelegend

Just wanted to note an actual window yesterday, and on a work day which is a big deal for me. Hoping to string a couple of day like that together as I work towards stability.

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Lynnardgirl
46 minutes ago, thelegend said:

Just wanted to note an actual window yesterday, and on a work day which is a big deal for me. Hoping to string a couple of day like that together as I work towards stability.

Wow great great news ! My prayers are working 

God bless you my friend ! 

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mstimc
2 hours ago, thelegend said:

Just wanted to note an actual window yesterday, and on a work day which is a big deal for me. Hoping to string a couple of day like that together as I work towards stability.

Wonderful news, Legend!  Hang on to that feeling when a wave comes.  Now you know things can get better!

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Cocopuffz17
8 hours ago, thelegend said:

Just wanted to note an actual window yesterday, and on a work day which is a big deal for me. Hoping to string a couple of day like that together as I work towards stability.

Awesome!!! Here is to many more! Keep it going !!!! Everyday that passes is one day closer being healed! 

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Tom37

Great news....may end up only be one day but it shows that your healing and it means there will be more days like this to come. Will really help when things get rough again.

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sunnysideup69
On 3/13/2020 at 2:36 PM, thelegend said:

Just wanted to note an actual window yesterday, and on a work day which is a big deal for me. Hoping to string a couple of day like that together as I work towards stability.

 

Yes! Evidence of healing ❤️

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thelegend

Tough day today, thought I was getting better. Maybe just windows and waves. Seems about every other day is either manageable or it’s a disaster.

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Lynnardgirl

So sorry to hear ! Mine day wasn’t much better nasty wave ! Hopefully your day tomorrow will

be a wonderful window and many more after !

God bless you my FrIend 

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thelegend
17 hours ago, Lynnardgirl said:

So sorry to hear ! Mine day wasn’t much better nasty wave ! Hopefully your day tomorrow will

be a wonderful window and many more after !

God bless you my FrIend 


sorry to hear about you day. Unfortunately no, today is worse. Went for a run with my dog last night and just felt much better, almost myself. This morning has just been an absolute disaster, so I guess I am firmly in a wave after a brief dirty window it seems.

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mstimc
19 hours ago, thelegend said:

Tough day today, thought I was getting better. Maybe just windows and waves. Seems about every other day is either manageable or it’s a disaster.

 

4 minutes ago, thelegend said:


sorry to hear about you day. Unfortunately no, today is worse. Went for a run with my dog last night and just felt much better, almost myself. This morning has just been an absolute disaster, so I guess I am firmly in a wave after a brief dirty window it seems.

Hi Legend

I went through a very similar series of windows and waves midway in my WD and recovery.  Especially as it relates to work, I could be doing great one day and freak out over the smallest mistake on another.  If its any consolation, as I look back, this was really the beginning of my recovery, with the windows getting a bit longer each time and the waves getting shorter and weaker.  I  know its a slow and agonzing process, but its sounds like your're on the right trajectory. 

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mstimc
19 hours ago, thelegend said:

 

 

11 minutes ago, thelegend said:

 

Also, I think the world situation isn't helping anyone's symptoms right now...

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Giulietta
On 3/13/2020 at 10:36 AM, thelegend said:

Hoping to string a couple of day like that together as I work towards stability.

 

I am really happy for you to have had a good day! How has your sleep been?

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Lynnardgirl

So happy for you ! It’s been a long time coming 

God Bless you my friend 

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sunnysideup69

Hey @thelegend, dropping by to say hello and thinking of you. I haven't been online in a few days, how are you doing? Really hoping you are getting some windows, however brief. You SO deserve windows.

 

xxx

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thelegend

@sunnysideup69 - I am still struggling, but I do believe I am VERY slowly getting better. Weekends I am able to relax and enjoy time with my family, work days are harder, but they do seem more manageable than they have been in the past. Hopefully this means things are starting to slowly turn around.

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Lynnardgirl

So happy to hear you are slowly healing ! 
Keep Having faith, ask, believe and receive .

God bless you my friend

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sunnysideup69
10 hours ago, thelegend said:

@sunnysideup69 - I am still struggling, but I do believe I am VERY slowly getting better. Weekends I am able to relax and enjoy time with my family, work days are harder, but they do seem more manageable than they have been in the past. Hopefully this means things are starting to slowly turn around.

 

Yay! This is WONDERFUL news! It's better to be slow and steady, I think.

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thelegend
18 hours ago, Lynnardgirl said:

So happy to hear you are slowly healing ! 
Keep Having faith, ask, believe and receive .

God bless you my friend


How are you doing? Seeing any relief?

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

Yay! This is WONDERFUL news! It's better to be slow and steady, I think.


how are you doing, still stabilizing?

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Lynnardgirl
1 hour ago, thelegend said:


How are you doing? Seeing any relief?


how are you doing, still stabilizing?

Hi starting to stabilize! I feel it, slow and steady 

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Giulietta
22 hours ago, thelegend said:

I am VERY slowly getting better. Weekends I am able to relax and enjoy time with my family, work days are harder, but they do seem more manageable

 

Hello TL,

 

I am so happy that you are seeing improvement and I know that you will continue to heal - it's slow - and slower for some of us more than others. Nice that you can relax and enjoy time iwth your family over the weekend.

 

g

 

G

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Adili13

Been following your thread a bit. Seeing that you’ve started to stabilize and heal is very encouraging to me. So happy for you. I’m about five months into holding with no real improvements. Keep stabilizing and giving hope to the rest of us!! 

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