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thelegend

thelegend: hoping to get there

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RachelSusan

Legend,

 

I am sorry to hear that you are not seeing improvement.  Perhaps Thanksgiving will provide a few days of respite from the symptoms. My fingers are crossed.

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Terry
On 11/18/2019 at 11:52 AM, thelegend said:

I would add sometimes I get a burning sensation in my arms

I can commiserate with you.  I have had these burning sensations to some degree or other since the beginning of my taper.  They always seem to be connected with anxiety.  I'm sorry you haven't been able to stabilize for such a long time, but please just keep hanging in there. 

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thelegend

Exercised last night at about 5PM and felt GREAT for the rest of the night, so discouraging to get these glimpses only to come crashing back down the next morning.

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insistpersistresist

I am hoping that your continued exercise will make a difference eventually in your level of morning anxiety. I think it will! Are you taking the fish oil and magnesium?

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Cocopuffz17
2 hours ago, thelegend said:

Exercised last night at about 5PM and felt GREAT for the rest of the night, so discouraging to get these glimpses only to come crashing back down the next morning.

It gets better! I was unable to do one push-up around 5 months ago and now I am back to playing all my sports with more energy than I have ever had! 

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Giulietta

Hello @thelegend

 

Catching up with your posts - and that you felt great after exercising - even though you crashed later - might be hopeful. YOu did get to exercise and you felt great thereafter.  Maybe you over did it? Even though I exercise nearly every day - there are some when I tell myself than 10 min on the treadmill is better than no minutes....  :) 

 

2 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

now I am back to playing all my sports

 

See - what an inspiration!

 

Another person (sorry forgot but know you were in Scotland!) mentioned that the vacation was helpful for relieving symptoms. While I don't think we can all go on vacation or go to Scotland - taking a break - even if I think @Tom37 said - a few days off f rom work if possible.  One thing that helps me - as long as I am not exhausted or too anxious - is to go somewhere different and I find relaxing and where I can 'escape' -thi smight be the mall - but leaving the wallet at home. :)

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sunnysideup69

Hello :) Dropping by your thread. Nothing new to add, just to say, I empathise. I've done all sorts of switches over the last year and a half. Really and truly, the best thing is to hold. Improvement will come. It's only since I held on the Ven and just focussed on not moving dosage/ going teetotal/ just taking fish oil/ focussed on self help for anxiety that I have seen any real improvement.

I wasn't drinking heavily before, I literally had one glass of Prosecco on 3 different occasions between Oct last year and April this year, and each time it would send me crashing into a wave. Totally not worth it. I'm not eating refined sugar since beginning of November, as the blood sugar rollercoaster isn't very good for mood.

Exercise is great for getting an endorphin high and it's also possible to overdo it.

Sending a wave and good wishes from London.

PS I also get triggered by work stuff. It's hard. But am trying to give work less importannce in my mind.

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Giulietta

Hello - and following people around ;).

 

I can say I never drink (call me a cheap date!) but I do eat sugar. I need to give this one up

 

I do exercise frequently - I try to do this daily - even if 20 or 30 minutes not 45 and some calisthenics.

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Exercise is great for getting an endorphin high and it's also possible to overdo it

 

Quite right. We get an endorphin bump 2 hours after the exercise. I have a treadmill Now that winter is here I get more exercise (shoveling both yesterday and today).  I am thankful to have been  somewhat dizzy this morning and had help to moe snow for the dogs.  I am otherwise unable to stand. 😢

 

My brain seems to prefer rote things.  Stress from thinking - executive function like analysis, organization, etc. causes me anxiety & more problems  . This is even if I am working on soething I like. Deadlines, too many things to do, disruptions to a routine are also bad.

 

A warm shower bfore bed can help with sleep

 

I empathise and this all thinks.

 

Hope you improve soon.

 

 

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sunnysideup69
33 minutes ago, Guilietta said:

Hello - and following people around ;).

 

😂

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thelegend

Really a tough day today, makes me wonder if I will ever get better...over 7 months into a hold now.

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Lynnardgirl

Thelegend 

It does get better 11 months out and finally getting better! I think the flax seed is helping 

and my windows are getting longer and waves not so intense. You will get there 

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thelegend

Up at 5:30 today with anxiety wondering how in the hell I am going to make it through this day!

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thelegend

Am I ever going to get better, seems like there is no end to this, I just am not sure how much longer I can keep plugging away without some improvements. Am I doing something wrong? Should I have not reinstated, is the reinstatement making things worse? I am just really discouraged and don’t know what to do at this point!

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thelegend
13 hours ago, Lynnardgirl said:

Thelegend 

It does get better 11 months out and finally getting better! I think the flax seed is helping 

and my windows are getting longer and waves not so intense. You will get there 


Are you stabilizing then? Did you see any improvements in the first 11 months? You have kept everything stable for 11mo the now and just starting to see improvements?

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Tom37

Sorry to see your struggling. Unfortunately it takes some of us a long time to see improvements. As you know I’m struggling at the moment but prior to this have definitely improved. I’ve never really had anxiety as a symptom just a million other physical and mental symptoms. When reading others threads the anxiety symptom does seem to take quite a while to settle down for some reason but it every case it does. Keep hanging in there as you could be a day or a week from seeing some improvement....you never know when it’s going to happen.

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thelegend

Ugh, wow, what a tough day. One of my worst anxiety wise, starting to do a little better in the evening, but still not great. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. 

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Tom37

Sorry to here that...hopefully tomorrow is better for you. I see you get the same thoughts as me regarding work. I try to use cbt on them and when feeling better it works well but in waves it doesn’t seem to matter what you try sometimes and you just have too accept them as thoughts and not reality....very hard to do.

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RachelSusan

Sorry to hear it was a difficult day.  I hope tomorrow is better.

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thelegend

Thanks @Tom37and @RachelSusan. This morning is just horrible again...I don’t know what to do, it is just SO hard! Not sure why it seems to just be getting worse and worse.

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Lynnardgirl

thelegend 

so sorry to hear that it’s not getting better! I really feel a change, my anxiety is not so intense!

Have you tried the flax seed mea?! I put it on my yogurt and berries every morning and sometimes 

evenings! I think it’s really helping ! God bless you and my prayers and thoughts with you always

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sunnysideup69
2 hours ago, thelegend said:

Thanks @Tom37and @RachelSusan. This morning is just horrible again...I don’t know what to do, it is just SO hard! Not sure why it seems to just be getting worse and worse.

 

Sending you good wishes, hold on there. 'This too shall pass' and you will start improving. Having a couple of glitchy days here, too.

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thelegend
1 hour ago, Lynnardgirl said:

thelegend 

so sorry to hear that it’s not getting better! I really feel a change, my anxiety is not so intense!

Have you tried the flax seed mea?! I put it on my yogurt and berries every morning and sometimes 

evenings! I think it’s really helping ! God bless you and my prayers and thoughts with you always


I am going to get some, thanks for the recommendation.

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RachelSusan

Sorry to hear you are feeling worse.  I hope that this passes soon for you.

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Tom37

Sorry to hear another bad day. If it’s still the anxiety causing the problems it’s that amygdala of yours still not happy with how things are and trying to get back to how it should be. Try to remember that it will get better and I know that’s hard because we live in our current reality which is the here and now but in a few months time I’m sure improvement will come. You will turn a corner at some point we just don’t know when.

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thelegend

Had a great day yesterday after about 2PM, almost felt totally normal. Woke this morning at 5AM with ZERO anxiety...then woke again with crazy high anxiety at 6AM. So bad I actually skipped out on some work meetings to try and rest...didn’t help as I couldn’t rest or relax. Day got much better from their, though anxiety is still kind of hanging around at moderate levels now. Again...2steps forward 1 and 9/10 steps back.

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Tom37

Good you see you had a far better day. What you may find is the anxiety may still be strong in the mornings but it may start fading earlier and earlier in the day.

 

Ive experienced similar where wake up in the night to use toilet or just woken up and felt almost normal then gone back to sleep and woken feeling as bad as ever. Crazy. 

 

Hope tomorrow is another better day.

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RachelSusan

Mornings seem to be most difficult for a lot of us. I'm happy to hear that you are getting some relief now and again.  This is a really good sign.

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sunnysideup69

In a 'WD normal' phase, mornings are definitely worse for me. In a wave, any time of the day can feel bad. Wondering if you find that too, @thelegend? Isn't it strange how 'the veil lifts' and we can find ourselves out of the gloom for a while? 

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Cocopuffz17
47 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

In a 'WD normal' phase, mornings are definitely worse for me. In a wave, any time of the day can feel bad. Wondering if you find that too, @thelegend? Isn't it strange how 'the veil lifts' and we can find ourselves out of the gloom for a while? 

I love it! It shows we are healing and that it will flip... soon 20/80 will be 50/50 and then 75/25.... leading to 100/0! The ratio of good to bad feelings. I used to be at 5/95. I am now at 80/20.... I would of never dreamt it in my wildest dreams. Keep going it does get better! 

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sunnysideup69
2 minutes ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

I love it! It shows we are healing and that it will flip... soon 20/80 will be 50/50 and then 75/25.... leading to 100/0! The ratio of good to bad feelings. I used to be at 5/95. I am now at 80/20.... I would of never dreamt it in my wildest dreams. Keep going it does get better! 

 

Thank you @Cocopuffz17- not to hijack your thread @thelegend- but I really need that encouragement today ...been wobbling around for ages but holding since August 2019. Definitely some good days. Good to read your signature, Cocopuffz, gives me hope that healing can happen after a longer time on these drugs :)

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Cocopuffz17
7 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

Thank you @Cocopuffz17- not to hijack your thread @thelegend- but I really need that encouragement today ...been wobbling around for ages but holding since August 2019. Definitely some good days. Good to read your signature, Cocopuffz, gives me hope that healing can happen after a longer time on these drugs :)

You are welcome. The main variable I changed was nutrition, without it I know this journey would be much more challenging. I have been playing sports my whole life at a competitive level....during The worst part of withdrawals there were days I could not even stand up without falling down. The extremes vertigo has passed. I get minor headaches/tinnitus now coupled with some minor fatigue. Remember everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed 😁😁

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thelegend
On 12/6/2019 at 10:55 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

In a 'WD normal' phase, mornings are definitely worse for me. In a wave, any time of the day can feel bad. Wondering if you find that too, @thelegend? Isn't it strange how 'the veil lifts' and we can find ourselves out of the gloom for a while? 


Exactly my weekend, overall pretty tough with periods (3-4 hours at a time) where the “veil lifted.” Hopefully these small periods turn into full days at some point. 
 

On 12/6/2019 at 11:44 PM, Cocopuffz17 said:

I love it! It shows we are healing and that it will flip... soon 20/80 will be 50/50 and then 75/25.... leading to 100/0! The ratio of good to bad feelings. I used to be at 5/95. I am now at 80/20.... I would of never dreamt it in my wildest dreams. Keep going it does get better! 

 

Thanks for this! It is SO good to hear from you, someone who has been so far down, and found a semblance of recovery. Gives me hope!!

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Cocopuffz17
10 minutes ago, thelegend said:

Thanks for this! It is SO good to hear from you, someone who has been so far down, and found a semblance of recovery. Gives me hope!!


You are welcome! I am almost at 10 months drug free... after being told I needed this medication for life! 
 

You will get there! Have you made any nutrition changes to your diet? 

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Tom37

https://web.archive.org/web/20140807101450/http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/showthread.php?t=52449&page=3

 

If you want or need to see more success stories than what are on this site the link above will take you to 7 pages from an older now closed site of people who have recovered and have shared their story.

 

I know how much seeing other people recover helps me when im struggling so it may help you too.

 

 

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thelegend

Thanks @Tom37 for the success stories and @Cocopuffz17 for being one! I haven’t done much nutrition wise, seems like everytime I do I convince myself it makes something worse and I don’t follow through. I am starting to eat some flaxseeds in yogurt and limiting refined sugar. We will see how that goes.

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Cocopuffz17
1 hour ago, thelegend said:

Thanks @Tom37 for the success stories and @Cocopuffz17 for being one! I haven’t done much nutrition wise, seems like everytime I do I convince myself it makes something worse and I don’t follow through. I am starting to eat some flaxseeds in yogurt and limiting refined sugar. We will see how that goes.

Take a read of the Plant Paradox. I know it’s the only reason I was able to get off this medication... as you can see by my signature I have tried many times to come off and was unable. This time I have kept my nutrition about 95% compliant to that book. Every time I slip my WDs spike! Flaxseed is great for omega 3! Good work in the sugars! 

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