☼ Cloudskishawna: 5 weeks on Remeron / mirtazapine

[Cloudskishawna]

Flu like symptoms 

I feel a little off balance when I walk sometimes

But today I feel a little better today 

And light headedness 

Fatigue 

I actually left Facebook group because I was seeing to much triggering stuff so I just left 

 

 

[Sassenach]

It is a good idea not to spend too much time on sites like these.

Your symptoms are to be expected but sound manageable.

Let me know if you are concerned.

Hope you are still eating well.

I admire the way your attitude has changed.

 

Sass

[Cloudskishawna]

I'm still trying to eat as healthy as I can and I'm trying to limit my time on sites on here and others thanks 

[Rhiannon]

Hi Cloud, congratulations you made it! You may have some symptoms, don't be alarmed, things will settle down soon and you will be getting right on with your life.

[Cloudskishawna]

Thanks rhiannon I really truly hope I have some good days and some not so good days but i believe each day I'm healing

[Cloudskishawna]

Something weird happened last night I think it was maybe 3 in the morning wasn't able to sleep but I know why that happened I had drunk some caffeine maybe around 1 pm big mistake 

So I go use the restroom going back to bed and then on my way my nose just starts leaking blood scary but I didn't panic or nothing just got some tissues but I have been having this heartburn issue now it's irritating me is there anything I can take to help that out.so since I wasn't able to sleep i just go to the store and get some more yogi bedtime tea which has been helping me tremendously once i got back it was 4 am so I just made some tea got in bed maybe around 5 and now woken up at 11 AM so

Yeah no more caffeine for me 

[Sassenach]

Hi Cloud

 

How long did the nose bleed last?

How long have you been having heartburn?

Have you made recent changes to your diet?

 

Sass

[Cloudskishawna]

Only a couple of minutes 

The heartburn only been here for a couple of days 

I'm eating alot of vegetables now

But I eat meat here and there still

[Sassenach]

If you start getting regular bleeds, see your doctor.

Your diet looks good.

Try an antacid from the pharmacy but again if it continues get it checked out.

How are you doing with your thyroid treatment?

[Cloudskishawna]

Ok I had went to the nautropath and she said my thyroid looks fine just a little low but other than that it's fine 

I had got maybe 5 or 4 hours of sleep 

[Cloudskishawna]

This 3rd week has been horrible I've been crying having different movie scenes playing in my head and music when does this end I'm really thinking about going on zoloft to help the music issue because I can't take it and I also worry about what if I have to do a 10 % taper plan that last for years I don't want that but if it can help with some withdrawals then so be it 

It sucks I just want to go back to being normal old me so bad I had no worries in the world  no music stuck in my head god I do anything to go back even with this all happening last week was actually pretty great even though I was super fatigue I push through I was laughing and smiling again but this week I really don't know 

Idk if I should reinstate  or just keep pushing 

The only thing I wish is just to stop the music from playing in my head and then I think I would be fine is there any ways of coping with this particular symptom it just sucks especially when your trying to sleep 

This all just sucks I'm way to young to be dealing with this I just wish if I told my past self just fix your lifestyle then I probably wouldn't be here

[Altostrata]

Please do not start additional Introductions topics, put all your updates and questions in this topic. Only one Introductions topic to a customer.

 

On 10/14/2019 at 9:31 AM, Cloudskishawna said:

Something weird happened last night I think it was maybe 3 in the morning wasn't able to sleep but I know why that happened I had drunk some caffeine maybe around 1 pm big mistake 

 

You probably will want to avoid caffeine for a good long while, you may be sensitive to it.

 

58 minutes ago, Cloudskishawna said:

This 3rd week has been horrible I've been crying having different movie scenes playing in my head and music when does this end I'm really thinking about going on zoloft to help the music issue because I can't take it and I also worry about what if I have to do a 10 % taper plan that last for years I don't want that but if it can help with some withdrawals then so be it

 

Do you have any thoughts before you start crying? Are you thinking of sad movies?

 

When did the music in your head start? Did you have repetitive music in your head before you started Zoloft?

[Cloudskishawna]

Yeah I have alot of thoughts before I cry but most of it is about this music situation I have worries about it never ending 

 

The music thing started maybe a month ago I thought it would've been gone by now but nope 

 

I haven't taken zoloft yet but I have bottle of it and I'm really thinking about taking it to shut this stupid music stuff 

 

[Rhiannon]

Oh honey please don't take the Zoloft. Right now where you are is the hardest time. Everyone who goes through this feels the same when the WD hits, desperate. This is the risky time when people will often start another med. I know I did it many times and I regret it more than anything else in my long and often-regrettable life.

 

If you take the Zoloft there is no guarantee it will help. Given that you are in withdrawal, it may just aggravate your problems. Even if it does finally settle you down, you will then be dependent on another drug, which will cause side effects, mess with your sexuality, and numb your emotions. If you don't want to stay stuck on it for life you will have to come off eventually and then you will be right back where you are right now, only you will be years down the road, and you may feel even worse than you do now, and you certainly will not be able to come off fast.

 

If it is really best for you to start another drug, that is a decision that needs to be made carefully, not impulsively. If your withdrawal symptoms last for months and months and get worse, it might be worth considering. But that is a huge, eventful decision and should not be made impulsively.

 

I say this because with your history, the odds are very, very good that you will get through this rough period fairly quickly and you will come out just fine on the other end and you will be free to go on and have a good healthy life. Please don't ruin your chances. 

 

Just take it one day at a time. Do everything you can to take care of yourself in every way. One day at a time, you will get through this, and you will be free, and you will be so glad you did not send yourself down another drug path that will just lead you to feeling, one day, like you do right now, or even worse.

 

Check in with some of the other young women on here like Erell. They are going through WD too and they know how you feel. Yours is going to be fairly short though. Just hang in there.

[Cloudskishawna]

Thanks rhiannon it so hard I never been in this much pain ever in my life mentally physically this isn't normal 

[Cloudskishawna]

I'm going to follow some other people on here and keep contact it is lonely dealing with all of this especially with family my dad said withdrawals is only supposed to last for 4 weeks I know now that's not true 

[Sassenach]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdN1pnEaJs0&t=27s

White noise to help mask ear worms.

 

Catch you later

 

Sass

[Cloudskishawna]

How long do you think this earworms stuff will last and I'm so confused by it idk if it's my anxiety or depression it so to much information out there I might have to stop looking up on this one said the earworm is a sign that your anxiety or depression is getting worst but that's to be expected while going through withdrawals 

And they said it should pass once that is settled I'm scared of this symptom I'm worried that it's going to last for a year a year is way to long imma just gives this thing maybe 3 more weeks I'm hoping it gets better everything else really dosen't bother me so much the vertigo I'm alright with I felt that before fatigue it sucks not life threatening stomachaches not comfortable but it passes 

Well with going through all this tonight was my first night that I didn't take anything and I was able to sleep 6 hours I guess that's a improvement

 

 

[Sassenach]

Hi Cloud

 

That is a brilliant post from @Rhiannon and so true.

Please do not keep looking all over the net. There is lot of good info out there but also a lot of disinfo.

Spend some time on here and post to other members, you will soon see they understand and will help you through this.

3 hours ago, Cloudskishawna said:

everything else really dosen't bother me

You are a tough lady and do not complain easily, so let others help you.

You are too young to go through this alone, but starting another drug is not the answer unless you want to take them for years to come.

We are here to see you through this.

 

If you have a cooling fan you could run it in your bedroom as white noise to diffuse the music in your ears.

 

Sass

 

 

[Rhiannon]

17 hours ago, Cloudskishawna said:

Thanks rhiannon it so hard I never been in this much pain ever in my life mentally physically this isn't normal 

 

That's right, it isn't normal for human beings to feel like this. These drugs are completely unnatural to our bodies and brains.

 

Unfortunately it's normal for psych med withdrawal, many many people go through this. You can get through it. It's only temporary. Just take it one day at a time. I know you will come out the other side fairly soon and you are going to be just fine. 

 

I know the earworms are annoying. Here's an example of true torture, one time I had the theme song from The Brady Bunch playing in my head for two days straight. I wanted to tear my brain out through my ears. 🙂

 

It went away. Hang in there.

 

The first few weeks are the worst but it will slowly get better. You will be very glad one day that you did not start another drug and put yourself on a lifetime merry-go-round (or misery-go-round) of drugs and withdrawal. I know it's hard to believe, but it can be MUCH worse than what you are experiencing now, as many many many people on here can attest. Please don't send yourself down that road.

 

Gather all your strength and get yourself through these days, one day at a time. We are holding your hand, we have your back.

 

And as I said before, if it does come down to going on another medication, you can always do that in the future. But that is a huge decision that can affect you for decades to come and should not be made as an impulsive reaction to temporary suffering that is going to pass by itself. Hang in there, sweetheart.

 

 

[Cloudskishawna]

Yeah I have fan and that helps a little bit I'm going to keep pushing I'm exhausted does crying take your energy that can explain alot

And thanks again everyone on here. so this earworm thing is just temporary 

Withdrawls just make everything 10× worse I know that in the past I wouldn't be going crazy over music in my head I probably would've just jam to it I know I'm definitely sensitized it feels so real though I'm going to try and use claire weekes method

I truly appreciate everyone on here I never really got this much support in my life from people on the internet I wish I could meet all of you .

[Cloudskishawna]

I'm thinking about reinstating because I don't know if I can take this and also now knowing that if i reinstate it can help stop my earworms

Which I would really like 

How can I get liquid form of this stuff

[Cloudskishawna]

I had hyptic jerks all night  but have been taking alot of magnesium baths could that possibly caused this and was barely able to sleep what should I do would reinstating help with this problem I've been taking alot of viatmins at this point magnesium glycinate omega 3 inostol and probiotics to I'm so exhausted I'm having muscle twitches everywhere now I was doing so good with the sleep to these past weeks what can be causing this 

Edited October 23, 2019 by Cloudskishawna
Adding more info

[Cloudskishawna]

So last night I had a whole bunch of spasms in my leg and caused me to not sleep I've been taking a Epsom salt bathes and magnesium glycinate probably to much that well I don't understand I had slept well last week 

I have been taking alot of supplements I had taken some inositol yesterday it might caused this so i don't understand the muscle spasm just started today and now I'm worrying they are going to cause me to stay up all night I'm thinking if this keeps happening I'm going to reinstate please any advice I'm so exhausted today

Edited October 23, 2019 by Cloudskishawna

[Altostrata]

Please stop creating new topics, add updates to this topic instead.

 

If I were you, I'd keep it simple: Don't take a bunch of supplements and don't take inositol. Your system could indeed be so sensitive that you have bad reactions to supplements.

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

As your nervous system is upset, you might get annoying and random symptoms. Typically, they keep on changing. You will need to be patient while your nervous system recovers.

 

You can survive sleepless nights, many people here have had sleeplessness as an adverse effect. Please read these topics for tips on how to calm yourself down:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Path to Better Sleep FREE online for everyone from the US Veterans Administration

 

Music for self-care: Calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

What is the sleep cycle?

 

Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Since you have reported a series of adverse reactions to all the drugs you've taken, I have no idea what you'd "reinstate."

 

[Cloudskishawna]

On 10/19/2019 at 12:26 PM, Cloudskishawna said:

I've taken some fish oil today didn't really make a change but I heard bananas can help with rest less leg symptoms so a reinstatement wouldn't even help do you think weight blankets can help with this symptom I wonder if I can just wrap my legs up to help this symptom and thanks alto I have tried some melatonin yesterday  it probably did help but I took that inositol 

I can't wait to heal from this 

 

[Altostrata]

Acupuncture, massage, and exercise can help with leg twitches. Do you spend a lot of time sitting at the computer?

 

Hypnic jerks are a relatively mild symptom

 

[Cloudskishawna]

Yes I'm going to start doing some stretches when I going through these jerks I was listening to this nice relaxing music it made me calm so I might use it again 

[Sassenach]

Can I reinstate I don't think I can do this I've been having hypnic jerks now which are causing me not to sleep it's everytime I sleep there's a jerk anxiety is bad I really want to take a tramadol to help with the jerks and can smoking marijuana help just desperate

[Sassenach]

Hi Cloud

 

You do not need to ask our permission it is your choice but please read Rhiannon's post again and consider the consequences.

Whatever you decide, do NOT reinstate to full dose it is dangerous.

We all go through these horrible symptoms but you will get better in time and be drug free.

Alto is the boss and founder of this site, her advice the best.

 

Sass

[Cloudskishawna]

Sassenach it's so bad I haven't had any sleep for 2 days now feels like I'm outer space or something I mean I have had insomnia before but never this bad though 

Can I go to the emergency room and get a sleeping pill only short term i don't even care if it only gives me 2 or 4 hours of sleep I need that 

And one lady said that with mirtazapine the withdrawal symptoms take a long time to show because it has a long half life to it  and now I think this is what she was talking about this hyptic jerk or whatever is hell I rather have the earworms again than this or maybe I should try a different medication  to help these symptoms out 

These muscle spasms are getting annoying I don't want these jerks to last forever I've did the listening to music thing but everytime I feel myself drifting off to sleep a jerk 

If i could just get the jerks to stop omg I would finally sleep so much better like how I was doing the last 2 weeks 

 

[Sassenach]

29 minutes ago, Cloudskishawna said:

take a long time to show because it has a long half life to it

The half life has nothing to do with it, you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

30 minutes ago, Cloudskishawna said:

I rather have the earworms again

Have the earworms stopped?

If you need a sleep aid you would be better trying Melotonin Instant Release.

Sleeping pills are Benzos and highly addictive.

 

Sass

[Cloudskishawna]

I have tried melatonin before but it's not working I think I hit a tolerance for that to and the tea I usually drink isn't helping either anymore magnesium Epsom salt baths not working anymore either I'm totally lost now my new symptoms are ringing in the ear and muscle spasms and the leg jerk thingy I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy 

[Rhiannon]

I'm sorry hon, hang in there, I promise it's going to pass and you will be so glad you made it through. You're going to be fine. I know it's hell. Remember this if you're ever tempted to take a psych med again, this is what withdrawal feels like.

 

Again, I promise it's going to pass, and you're going to get through this one day at a time, and it's going to be better. Just do everything Sassenach says to take care of yourself, focus on that.

[Cloudskishawna]

Can I at least take a sleeping pill I'm about to go to the emergency room 

[Altostrata]

How often do you get these hypnic jerks? Do you get any sleep at all?

 

Do you get any exercise or do you sit at the computer most of the day? What time of night do you stop using the computer?

 

Please try not to dramatize your symptoms. You are feeling the aftereffects of adverse drug reactions. If you don't complicate your situation with more drugs and adverse reactions, your nervous system will gradually settle down.

 

Unknown if you'll find any help at the emergency room. Most often, they'll give you a sedative and send you away, or if you're very dramatic, they'll put you in the psychiatric ward.