Johni: I want to break free

[ChessieCat]

I've been tapering off 100mg Pristiq since October 2015.  I've just found these posts in my Intro topic which show that things have improved for me and that I got back my excitement for things and also my imagination.

 

The doses of Pristiq for the dates mentioned:

 

May 2017 - 25mg

Oct 2017 -  18mg

Feb 2018 -  12mg

 

I'm now down to 0.75mg

  

On 9/21/2017 at 3:57 PM, ChessieCat said:

 

Well I have a bit of exciting news.  My daughter and grandson are coming to stay for a few days BUT that's not the exciting bit, the exciting bit is that I am FEELING EXCITED!!!  It's been a long while and it's so good.  At the beginning of May this year, which I was taking 25mg Pristiq, I bought a brand new car and I was excited but it was a dulled excitement, definitely different to how I'm feeling now.

 

 

On 10/13/2017 at 8:59 PM, ChessieCat said:

 

It's really great to be able to share that even after 25+ years of continual use of an antidepressant that the brain does heal.  I mentioned recently that I got excited and it happened again today.  And I got so excited that I jumped up and down.  And it happened twice!!!

 

What had me jumping up and down in excitement?  I got to see a mummy and baby whale tail slapping and breaching.  The background is that I have been on 5 whale watching boats and even though I have seen whales from a distance I had never seen them breach or tail slap.  And what made this an even better experience was that it was so unexpected.  We were checking out a car for my daughter to buy and they live on the coast.  The owners even let me borrow their binoculars.  And yes, she did buy the car too!

 

 

 

On 2/26/2018 at 4:58 PM, ChessieCat said:

 

Something exciting to report.

 

I've just realised that I've recently been getting my imagination back.  This is what made me realise:

 

...

 

I've thought back over the last few weeks and I've definitely been using my imagination which I hadn't been able to do before.  It took a great effort just to think of basic things and think of words let alone think up new ideas.

 

Yippee!!

 

 

[Johni]

thanks for the reply. very terrible condition. I’m here at 33 and it’s like I lost my life.

[Johni]

Hi there. I plan on going under 6 mg a month. There are certain things that bother me a lot. Feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness. I plan to take a month off in August. I know that a longer stay is definitely good. My question would be, can these things be sorted out somewhat? Have a nice day everyone

[Frogie]

Hi Johni:

 

I thought I'd drop by and see what was up?

 

7 hours ago, Johni said:

Hi there. I plan on going under 6 mg a month. There are certain things that bother me a lot. Feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness. I plan to take a month off in August. I know that a longer stay is definitely good. My question would be, can these things be sorted out somewhat? Have a nice day everyone

I think that is great that you are only going to drop to 6 mg and hold for a month. That is a small reduction, and holding is always well thought if you can do it for an extended amount of time. It gives your body time to rest and re-cooperate from the reduction. 

 

I felt hopelessness and worthlessness a lot when going through my taper with Lexapro. It is very normal to have feelings like that. These meds numb your feelings. You are starting to get emotions back with the lower dose and you will feel more and more. Just know, it's natural and there is nothing wrong with you. You will probably feel more as you get lower, however, they will go away with time. Mine did😊

 

It sounds like you are doing very well with your taper. Keep up the fabulous work!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Edited July 21, 2020 by Frogie

[Johni]

thank you very much. The plan is to go below 5mg this year. But I feel like a bigger posture would be good. I will definitely do it. Thanks for the answer. Have a nice day

[Frogie]

@Johni

 

I just wanted to stop by and see how you are doing?

 

I hope we'll.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Johni]

hello Frogie. I've been hitchhiking for a while now. 5.7mg is the current dose. I'm fine though some features don't work the way they should 😅 Thank you for your interest. I hope you are fine too. hello from hungarian

 

Edited September 9, 2020 by ChessieCat
fixed post from translator

[Johni]

Hi there. I have a few questions about the reductions that way. How common are sexual problems. i can't write this here. Thanks @Gridley

[Gridley]

@Johni What questions do you have about reductions?

[Johni]

Hi there. I thought I'd update a bit. I slowly reach half of the taper. Current symptoms I am dealing with: mild depression, suicidal thoughts, constant tiredness, doubts about life, zero motivation,

[Krisseyb]

Hi @Johni thought I would stop by and see how you are doing. I am within about 3 weeks of starting my Lexapro taper. I am currently switching to liquid (taking that very slowly....so I don't have reactions right away!) 
Just wanted to see how things were going!

[Johni]

Hello @Krisseyb. I'm glad you checked in. I reached 50% last weekend vagyok I'm pretty good. it is true that we have everything restricted now because of the covid, but so I try to stay active. if you accept a piece of advice, you just reduce it pretty slowly. for me, the 10% cuts were big even in the beginning. it is much more tolerable if you prefer to make several smaller reductions. as well as training helps me a lot. 3 days workout 1 day rest 3 days workout 1 day rest. glad you looked in and good luck with the cone. 😊

[Krisseyb]

@Johni yes! That's what I plan on doing...I will do 2.5% reductions weekly instead of 10% for 4 weeks.... I have been trying to work out some...I try to 3-4 times a week. But it doesn't always happen.
That's awesome that you are at 50%! Way to go! 

 

[Johni]

Hi there. I would be interested in this one who had muscle building problems while reducing medication. Ever since I started to reduce my medication I have been training regularly. it's been 1 year. almost no muscle came up on me. can this drug cause? once I read somewhere here on the forum that someone mentioned it but I can't find it anywhere.

[Johni]

Hi there. I thought I would update a bit. Nothing special happened really. I am currently at 4.4 milligrams. I perform quite well. I hope everybody is fine.

[Johni]

Hi there. I would like to inquire. my 3-week posture ends on the weekend, but my depression doesn't really go down 🙈 Should I wait any longer, or can I continue to narrow? Thanks. all the best to you

[Johni]

Hi there. I think the subtraction caught up with me too. Total feeling of loneliness. All-day suicidal thoughts 🙈 really no physical symptoms just a mental crisis. No zest for life no motivation.

[Kingfisher86]

Hi there @Johni

 

So sorry to hear that... those are difficult feelings to deal with. Hope you know you are not alone in feeling like that. I am in the similar phase.
I do not know if other people find it comforting, but it helps me to know that what I feel is not out of the ordinary. Hang in there!

[Johni]

Hello @Kingfisher86. I am glad that you wrote. I really don’t have anyone in my environment with whom I can talk to these. Although I suspect I wouldn't understand. It seems that by now the suicidal thoughts are gone. These are interesting things. They have been almost all day long for the past 1.5 weeks. they had never been this long. I had a total of 2 such waves. It always started with suicidal thoughts and after a few days went into anxiety and eventually disbanded. I hope so now. I hope you are well. I wish you strength and perseverance.

[Kingfisher86]

I hear you! In the midst of my acute WD phase I had suicidal thoughts day on day off... but for the last month it has been non stop🥺 I am full 7 months off meds... it might seem discouraging BUT I actually think that some very deep repair is happening in my brain. I truly belive that. But it is very difficult to endure them still possible. You can do it. Write here whenever you need support. That helps me fight.

[Johni]

Thank you, that's very kind of you. Thank God the suicidal thoughts are gone. I have now entered the constant anxiety phase. Very mild but present. couple of days and pass. The real trouble is that I can’t relate to anything. It's like working for nothing. I don't see the point of things. Thank you for looking in and worrying about me. I wish you strength and perseverance

[Kingfisher86]

7 hours ago, Johni said:

The real trouble is that I can’t relate to anything. It's like working for nothing. I don't see the point of things.

Had that phase too. It passed! But I do remember it being horrible... one of the most difficult phases. I did not see it would end, but like everything before it does end. Just hang on.

[Johni]

I knocked past. Anxiety too 😁😁😁 I went to train one and passed. I hope and will continue to have only 2 weeks of waves. In 1.5 years it was 3. How are you? are you doing well thank you for your interest. it is good sometimes to ask a person.

[Johni]

Hi there. I wonder who survived the period when he lost all interest in things? i know i should be able to receive the symptoms in the best way. Somehow it’s not easy to imagine this at age 33. Neither girlfriend nor interest is nothing 🙈🙈🙈

[Johni]

Magyar

Angol

Hi there. I have a question. This will be my 4th week to keep my dose due to stabilization. The depression past the anxiety was also left below. There was a lack of resentment and motivation. I know it is not possible to say whether it is worth reducing this further, but I would be curious to comment. Try getting started with a 1% reduction on how things change? Thanks. I send strength to everyone

[Erell]

Hello Johni,

 

If you feel your body needs more time to stabilise after your last drop, or feel a bit hesitant, it's perfectly ok to hold a bit longer and reassess later.

No rush, better to feel good ☺

[Johni]

hello Erell thanks for the answer. My body waited for me to publish my writing today. He was a little back in the evening. I managed to do 1-2 little things, even though in the last 2 weeks I have had a hard time making even my food. You are absolutely right. I will be running this month. But as we know, after a 1-1 wave, we never "come to the place" like we were before. so it’s hard to tell how long one should last. thanks for the answer. hello from hungarian

[Johni]

Hi there. after holding for more than 1 month, I restart the cone. I am currently at 4.2 mg. things normalized somewhat. depression and suicidal thoughts are not just constant fatigue and resentment. I'm going to slow down on the cone. Every 2 weeks I will reduce the weight of the tablet by 1 milligram which is 7-8% every 2 months. I hope everybody is fine

[Johni]

Hi guys. I thought I would update a bit. Today I reached 4mg. my mood is very very flat sometimes turns into a mild depression but only for hours. the feeling of hopelessness is very bad 😞 i feel like that was my life. Constant fatigue non-stop. No matter how much I slept. Still, I cut my ax into a pretty big tree. We are going on holiday to Mexico with friends in August. I wonder what it will be like 🙈 I hope everyone is fine 😊😊

[arbor]

Hi @johni--Thanks for the update.  Your expression is so true:  we have our axes in enormous trees!!!!!  I send you my best wishes as you cope with your tapering, especially with feelings of hopelessness.  If it's not intrusive, I encourage you to go slowly.  I think the feeling of hopelessness is the hardest of these horrible symptoms.  Please stay in touch.  (I envy you going to Mexico!)

Arbor

[Johni]

 

hi @arbor😊 thank you for checking in. yes the feeling of hopelessness is not easy. but my current reduction method seems to super well. on saturday i reached -60% and i was functioning well. i am a bit of a 17 hour drive from mexico road. Vienna to Frankfurt then Frankfurt to Cancun. but I'm waiting. I hope you are well and thank you again for checking in. 😊

[arbor]

Ahhhh, Cancun....!   Glad to hear that your reduction method is going well ☀️

Arbor

[Johni]

 

Hi there. has it happened to anyone else that the mood starts to fall before rain? I wouldn’t say explicitly front-sensitivity. because after that my relative mood returns. but it is as if I are going into depression as rain approaches.

[Johni]

Hi there. I managed to reach 4 mg on Saturday last week. However, suicidal thoughts began again. feeling hopeless, I can't even describe it. This drug is starting to get bitter in my life gyógyszer I really have no problem other than this feeling of depression. Lest this be caused by drug depletion e. I'm starting to feel like I'm taking too much of my life

[arbor]

I hope you're doing ok, @Johni.  Are you still getting the SI feelings?  Have you changed your dose?  Or are you holding?  W/d is the worst experience I have ever had.  I wish you recovery and eventual happiness.

Arbor

[Johni]

Hello @arbor. I'm glad you checked in. he actually comes and goes. but there is no day that I do not remember. I can't stand this insensitivity. There is, for example, a woman I have met in recent days. but it doesn’t move me on a level I can’t even tell. even more repulsive. I don't even understand what caught him. I am so indifferent. I hope you're alright too. I started training again today, his back shaking a bit in his pants. all the best