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Erell: struggling with paroxetine

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Erell

Oh @Rhiannon ! A French conversation meetup ! Tu me raconteras comment ça s'est passé 😉 Is it with French people or American people learning French ?

 

Bon week-end très chère Rhiannon, I wish you sweet times with your petite-fille ❤

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Melissa5000

Erell I read your posts. I had the same sort of struggle last night!

 

I decided to stabilize. If I were you, I would not go up in dose again. Later you have to drop back from 11 to 10 mg again. You have allready suffered the worst withdrawals now. 

With time and patience you wil stabilize on 10 mg by holding. Updosing to 11 mg might mess you up (but it doesn't have to happen). Maybe an updose will give you some quick relief. If you can't wait that would be a short term fix. But if you have time I would just ride it out! 

 

I am very sure you and I will stabilize by just holding and waiting. If you have time I would just hold. 

 

 

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Markolo1980

@Erell my opinion is you are jumping to much updosing and back. Im on 20mg since june and have been on a roller coaster for the past 4 months. But happily I can say that last 2 days were shown much more improvement. Im planing to stay on this dose until March. Than slowly I’ll reduce 10% as suggested on this forum. Hope it works. If you need any information just write to me, cause I really had all possible symptoms....

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Altostrata
13 hours ago, Erell said:

Updosing To 11mg : is it something that you would do or you are just showing me what are my options ?

Does it means that I can't stabilize on 10mg?

 

Those are options. You have asked whether you should updose. Not being able to tell the future, I can't say for sure what you should do.

 

13 hours ago, Erell said:

 

I've read the topic about prozac bridge and saw that it is much likely To work if someone is stabilised, which I'm not. 

 

 

No, the fluoxetine switch is used when someone is having a lot of trouble going off paroxetine and other drugs, not necessarily when they're stable.

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mustafa

Hi erell, 

I understand your fear from updosing to 11 mg again and I think all what you need is more patience to stabilize on 10 mg. I also understand your fear from being on another ssri, all of us hope it goes safely and don't try another type of ADs but don't be afraid if that was the option; I suffered the WDs for different drugs like fluvoxamine maleate, sertraline and vortioexitine, they all get improved towards getting yourself back. I were having ADs and TCAS together and my brain could get rid off these mixings; I want to tell you that your brain will heal whatever the drug you are having.

Make your option without any fears.

 

 

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Guilietta

Coucou Erell,

 

Everyone has made comments that have great merit. We must all make our own decisions based on the  advice on SA or the medical advice in an MD office. It is confusing and a lot of anxiety when you don't know how to reconcile different perspectives and you don't feel well and mind is not thinking as clearly as usual.

 

I would hold at 10 mg for now. You have made 5 changes in 2 months - the last one of which was more than 33%. I don't konw how 1 mg would help. Your body needs to recover without any more changes.

 

There is a huge amount of anxiety around making a decision on these medicines. 

 

I sent you another long letter. ;)

 

Hugs,

 

Giuilietta💗

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Erell

Thank you all for sharing your wisdom with me. ❤

I make a décision: holding on 10mg Paroxetine and try To stabilize. When i'll Feel stabilized,  I Will reconsider a switch.

 

I've realised that I asked about an updose because I'm somewhat searching for a miracle solution. I have To accept there's no such solution and that every option would take time, only time.

As Altostrata said, I'm looking for someone who could predict the future or offer me a miracle which would act quick, but no one can. And I have To accept that : this is a big challenge, and I do my best.

 

This really is a rollercoaster, especially with so intense emotionnal symptoms. I try my best To stay strong.

 

I really appreciate that you all took the time to show me support. I wish you all a pleasant day, hugs from a rainy Brittany. 

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sunnysideup69
1 hour ago, Erell said:

Thank you all for sharing your wisdom with me. ❤

I make a décision: holding on 10mg Paroxetine and try To stabilize. When i'll Feel stabilized,  I Will reconsider a switch.

 

I've realised that I asked about an updose because I'm somewhat searching for a miracle solution. I have To accept there's no such solution and that every option would take time, only time.

As Altostrata said, I'm looking for someone who could predict the future or offer me a miracle which would act quick, but no one can. And I have To accept that : this is a big challenge, and I do my best.

 

This really is a rollercoaster, especially with so intense emotionnal symptoms. I try my best To stay strong.

 

I really appreciate that you all took the time to show me support. I wish you all a pleasant day, hugs from a rainy Brittany. 

 

Hey Erell, I think 'looking for the miracle' is something a lot of us have done. It lead me to updose, and also to switch antidep......

 

I think the hardest thing to get to grips with is the fact that this can take time. It has been for me. There isn't likely to be a shortcut.

 

I was chatting to a friend the other day, saying that I'm bored at the moment as I don't have a creative project on the go......I was reflecting yesterday that actually, I do. I'm having to learn things that I never learned as a small child, because I wasn't taught how to self soothe. This is a HUGE project!

How are you finding the time adjustment today? So far, it hasn't affected me at all....

Sending you hugs and good wishes x

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Erell

Hi Sunny!

 

Yes this is a huge project, a project for a all life ! :) I try To learn To, with méditation for example, but it's hard To practice when too anxious.

 

Yes and I think that my "looking for a miracle " attitude is all the more intense because I'm now in day 10 of my wave : waves lead us To doubts and non-acceptance. I'm good at accepting when I'm in a window...;)

 

glad To read the time adjustment didn't affect you! Honestly, I try To not think about it, don't wanna add fears To my constant fear ;)

 

have a pleasant day sweet Sunny 😚

 

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Erell

Diary Saturday 26 October/ day 32 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7am woke up anxious (6).slight anxious sleep until 8am 

8am : 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

9am anxiety: 6 / despair: 6 / restlessness: 6

10am went To the sea. Can't Feel joy about it, felt totally disconnected. 

12: anxiety : 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair:6

2.30pm : anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair: 6

5pm : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

(Actually, from one minute To another, despair oscillate between 5 and 6).

6pm : feeling of a 'fresh air' in my legs, so Nice! It Will last 30minutes.

7pm anxiety: 6 / despair: 6 / restlessness  : 6.

8pm : bedtime. 

10pm  tinnitus. Anxiety: 5 / despair: 5 / restlessness: 4.

 

Lights off at 11.30pm. Fall asleep around midnight. Woke up anxious at 5.30am, then slight anxious sleep until 6.30am. ( clock +1 this night)

 

--》 no appetite yesterday. Tried To force myself a bit.

--》 with mild anxiety, I should Feel joy,  but can't.  Probably anhedonia or DR.

 

still in the wave (day 10 today), still trying To learn surfing 🏄‍♀️

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Sassenach

Hi Erell

 

Sorry have not been by, but here now.

10 hours ago, Erell said:

still in the wave (day 10 today), still trying To learn surfing 🏄‍♀️

You may be in a wave but all the numbers are below your threshold of 7.

10 hours ago, Erell said:

with mild anxiety, I should Feel joy,  but can't.  Probably anhedonia or DR.

You should be able but you know it is the symptoms, you can and will feel better.

I believe you made the right decision.

The irony is you are the only one who cannot see how much calmer you are now.

I know you are still hurting but if you could achieve AAF now you would find your recovery easier.

Very sunny, very cold but beautiful here today.

A few months ago beauty totally escaped me.

Bonsoir ma chere.

 

Sass

 

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Erell

My dear Sass

 

Don't apologize : you already do so much here !

I was not here this afternoon either : maybe a ridiculous goal but my goal Today was To not spend my entire day on SA and try To be less obsessed with WD. Well can't say I'm less obsessed,  but I managed To not come here from 1pm To 5pm..and proud of it 😄

 

You're right : no symptoms over 7, and Today no symptoms over 6. You're right again : why can't I see that I'm calmer ? And you're right again..this is a matter of acceptance ! I try To practice more mindfulness since 3 days To work on this acceptance and learn to observe my thoughts as only thoughts. Still have a lot of work To do on acceptance,  I agree with you. 

 

Here the day started with rain..and Grey sky this afternoon, colder than previous days. Winter is coming :)

 

12 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

A few months ago beauty totally escaped me.

This sentence really touched me. You're a beautiful soul Sass, you deserve beauty in your life, and I'm glad it came back ❤

 

I wish you a pleasant evening Sass, take good care of yourself !

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sunnysideup69

Waving hello from a dark, cold London. 530 am and it's coooooold.

 

Dropping by to say hello, how are you doing? Read a bit of your update to Sassenach..sounds good and steady...

Have a wonderful day!

SSU x

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Erell

Good morning.

 

@sunnysideup69 : Well it's a very rainy morning here ;) and cold! Have a  Nice day sweet Sunny! :)

 

Diary Sunday 27 October / day 33 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

6.30am  woke up anxious (6). Slight anxious sleep since 5.30am.  (Clock change).

7.30am : 10mg Paroxetine. + 1 fish oil capsule 

8.30am : anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair: 6

9.30am: anxiety : 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair: 5. Felt a bit more connected, less intrusive thoughts . (This is so Nice!)

11.30am: anxiety: 5 / restlessness : 5 / despair: 5. 

From 1pm To 5pm I Will spend my time outside, mostly at the sea. Anxiety Will oscillate between 4,5,6 / restlessness between 4,5 / despair between 5,6.

5pm : back home.  Tired. Anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 4 / despair  : 5.

8pm : bedtime. 

9.30pm: anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 5

10.30pm : anxiety: 3 / restlessness: 3 / despair  : 4.

Lights off at 11pm, fell asleep around midnight. 

woke up anxious (6) this morning at 7am.

 

 

 

--》 Yesterday I felt a bit more connected, less DR, it was really really pleasant To Feel!

--》 I don't think it was a window because, in my diaries, Windows offer me rate 3/4 during the day. But it was a wave easier To surf! 🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️ especially because I felt a bit more connected, the world around me looks less strange. And I had appetite.

 

 

Well, have a very pleasant day my strong friends ! ❤

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AuntieBea

Hi Errel,

 

AuntieBea here just stopping by for a hello! I’ve been reading through your thread and am so sorry for your struggles—it just doesn’t seem fair, if you know what I mean...? You are being so brave and have made so much progress in just one month! And in English!! You are doing beautifully with that. Even on your worst days you seem to be able to convey something positive and uplifting to others.

 

I’ve  been awake here in Upstate New York for most of the night and noticed (of course) how quiet the forum becomes for those hours when all the world is asleep. Then little by little people begin to awaken, first in Europe, UK, etc, and the forum starts filling up with posts again. Yours was one of the first this morning...about 3:00 AM here in NY (hmmm wonder what time it was for you)? Anyway, it helped me feel not quite so alone in the wee hours.

 

I hope you have a pleasant day, Erell

❤️AuntieBea

 

 

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Guilietta

Hello Erell,

 

Hope you are well today - and the continuing trend in less acute symptoms. :)  Your diary adn comments show you are perhaps  less anxious too. 

 

Hugs,

Giulietta 💗

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Erell

Hi @AuntieBea and @Guilietta ,

 

How sweet it is To have friends here in this lonely journey! You're so Nice To drop by here 😚

 

Thank you auntiebe for highlighting my progress..And most of all my progress in English 😄😉

 

I'm glad if my post helped you To Feel less alone..it was about 8am for me ;)

 

Less acute symptoms still : anxiety/ restlessness/ despair keep on oscitalling between 5 and 6.

And I'm more able To spend time out of my flat. 

 

So I don't know if I am in a wave of 11days which flatten very slowly, like if I was in a linear thing. 

or if I'm in a window because less anxiety..But I really don't think I'm in a window, previous Windows were easier. 

Anyway, we'll see what tomorrow brings ;)

 

I can hear Sass thinking "here we go again, she is overanalyzing " 😄

 

Weather is not helping : it's been rainy and Grey all day, like if it was  night all day ! No need To say it is not helping with the mood ;)

 

Wish you a Nice day my friends ! ❤

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Sassenach

Good evening Erell

 

47 minutes ago, Erell said:

 

I can hear Sass thinking "here we go again, she is overanalyzing " 😄

Am I really so predictable now?:rolleyes:

 

48 minutes ago, Erell said:

Weather is not helping : it's been rainy and Grey all day, like if it was  night all day

HeHe White with frost this morning, orange sunrise,beautiful sunshine all day and now starlit skies.

 

50 minutes ago, Erell said:

So I don't know if I am in a wave of 11days which flatten very slowly, like if I was in a linear thing. 

or if I'm in a window because less anxiety..But I really don't think I'm in a window, previous Windows were easier. 

Anyway, we'll see what tomorrow brings

You are still in a wave but because it is less severe it means your underlying baseline is improving, ie you are experiencing an overall improvement.

 

On 10/27/2019 at 7:33 AM, Erell said:

 went To the sea. Can't Feel joy about it, felt totally disconnected

 

10 hours ago, Erell said:

From 1pm To 5pm I Will spend my time outside, mostly at the sea. Anxiety Will oscillate between 4,5,6 / restlessness between 4,5 / despair between 5,6.

What a difference a day can make.

Great to see you getting out and not spending too much time on here.

 

Thanks for the pics, love the rainbow.😎

 

Sass

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Erell

Good evening Sass!

 

Haha no you're not predictable : it's just that everytime I'm mourning about my situation, a little voice in my head says "right now Sass would say I'm overanalyzing, and he would probably be right !" 😉

So see, you're my voice of reason ! 🤗

 

Yes, since 2 days I really push myself to spend time outside, thanks To lower anxiety! And Being outside is less scary because I Feel bit more connected.

I think I still spend too much time here making silly calculations To know when i'll stabilize. So I have To learn To live without SA : this afternoon I managed To not come, mornings are harder.

But I progress ;)

 

I won't send you pics of my day this time, you would keep on boasting on Scottish sunshine while we are under a cold rain here ! 😄

(Yeah, loved the rainbow too ! Sunshine after rain..🤗)

 

Nightnight

(thank you English teacher😚)

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Guilietta

Coucou Erell,

 

It is good to learn that you spent more time outside today and less on the computer. Natural brightness and the sea (is it negative ions or positive ions?) lift our moods. It seems that your baseline for this wave is improving.

 

2 hours ago, Erell said:

I think I still spend too much time here making silly calculations To know when i'll stabilize.

 

By making silly calculations do you mean figuring out how soon you will get off yoru medication?  I ask because when I was feeling 'well' I felt more confident and wasted so much time analyzing and re-analyzing how I could shorten the taper time.

 

I updated my signature line with a quotation from a U.S. President about fear. ;)

 

Have a good night my SA friend in France and sleep well

 

Giuilietta 💗

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Erell

Hi dear !

 

10 hours ago, Guilietta said:

 

By making silly calculations do you mean figuring out how soon you will get off yoru medication?  I ask because when I was feeling 'well' I felt more confident and wasted so much time analyzing and re-analyzing how I could shorten the taper time

 

I talk about silly calculations about stabilisation : I read other's stories and try To figure out how many months it Will take for me To Feel stabilized. 

 

It is not about getting off medication  : I still wanna live without meds and taper my med,  but I know I won't be able To before months, probably a year. So I let these calculations for the future ;)

I know I won't be able To shorten taper time : I take this med  since 10years now, took it first time when I was a teenager, already attempted To taper it and crashed. So I know it Will be a very loooong  and slow process for me : and im ok with it. One thing my hell-fall taught me is that the most valuable thing in life is To live feeling Well,healthy. So if I have To take next 10years To taper my med, it is totally ok for me, because my main goal Will be To minimize as much as possible symptoms.

 

I Will be a turtle ;)

 

You must be under your blanket now ...sleep Well my friend :)

 

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Erell

Good morning. 

 

Diary Monday 28 October/ day 34 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7am woke up anxious (6)

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule.  

9am anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair: 6.

All morning: these three symptoms oscillated between 5 and 6.

1pm : I decided to go outside despite the rain. Went To the sea, did a walk. Went To the store To buy some food.

All afternoon  : symptoms also oscillated between 5 and 6.

6pm : hungry, managed To eat. 

7pm : anxiety: 5 / despair: 5 / restlessness: 5

7.30pm: it is too early but...I'm so exhausted, I went To bed To read a book under blanket. 

10pm : anxiety: 4 / despair: 3 / restlessness : 4. :)

11pm Feel almost normal  :)

Lights off.

 

I fall asleep around midnight, woke up anxious at 6.30am this morning.

 

 

- Gratitude of the day : being able To go To the store. Was  anxious but managed To buy some food on my own ! 😍

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sunnysideup69
9 minutes ago, Erell said:

 

11pm Feel almost normal  :)

 

- Gratitude of the day : being able To go To the store. Was  anxious but managed To buy some food on my own ! 😍

 

Wow, this is great, dear Erell! Wishing you more of this, it's coming.

 

I'm feeling good. I had a really good day yesterday and yes, my stomach is much better since dropping the magnesium, was overdoing it. 

Have a wonderful day xxx

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Rhiannon
On 10/26/2019 at 9:09 AM, Erell said:

Oh @Rhiannon ! A French conversation meetup ! Tu me raconteras comment ça s'est passé 😉 Is it with French people or American people learning French ?

 

Bon week-end très chère Rhiannon, I wish you sweet times with your petite-fille ❤

 

It is held at a coffee shop that is owned by a French couple. On the day of the meetup the one employee there was speaking French also, although I would imagine they speak English during ordinary business hours. There was a mix of poor speakers like me and better speakers and a couple of French people, so there was quite a range of skill level. There was also a parrot, I didn't hear it talk so I don't know if it speaks French or not. 🙂

 

It was a good weekend but too short, like all of them!

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Rhiannon
9 hours ago, Erell said:

Good morning. 

 

Diary Monday 28 October/ day 34 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7am woke up anxious (6)

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule.  

9am anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair: 6.

All morning: these three symptoms oscillated between 5 and 6.

1pm : I decided to go outside despite the rain. Went To the sea, did a walk. Went To the store To buy some food.

All afternoon  : symptoms also oscillated between 5 and 6.

6pm : hungry, managed To eat. 

7pm : anxiety: 5 / despair: 5 / restlessness: 5

7.30pm: it is too early but...I'm so exhausted, I went To bed To read a book under blanket. 

10pm : anxiety: 4 / despair: 3 / restlessness : 4. :)

11pm Feel almost normal  :)

Lights off.

 

I fall asleep around midnight, woke up anxious at 6.30am this morning.

 

 

- Gratitude of the day : being able To go To the store. Was  anxious but managed To buy some food on my own ! 😍

 

You're doing so well! I don't know if you can see it, but you are improving. That is going to continue. There will still be ups and downs, better days and worse days, but the overall trend is improvement. I'm sorry it's so slow. These first months can be discouraging. But you are going to do well over time. Just keep going.

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Erell

@Rhiannon : so glad To hear that it was a good weekend ! Next one is coming ;)

 

Yes I can see that I am improving, mostly because of what I'm able To do, like going more outside. I'm much calmer. I thank you for saying it :)

 

I think that what doesn't help me these days is my lonelyness. I spend my days alone, and have no friends in my town as I'm new here, they all live at at least 1h of drive. But I'm not able To drive 1h, and my friends work so can't come.

So days are very long alone. And the weather is not helping : litteraly night all day with rain !

Don't want To complain, just needed To talk ;)

I know that we all deal with lonelyness, and I Feel grateful for having the chance To be on SA! 

 

And I'm also grateful for many other things: being able To sleep, Being able To drive, Being able To see the sea,...

It is obvious that I progressed in one month ! 😍

 

Hugs dear Rhi, always pleased To have a post from you !

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Erell
13 minutes ago, Erell said:

 

It is obvious that I progressed in one month ! 😍

 

Note To myself : when my mood is ok I'm visibly able To see the improvments  😉

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Sassenach

Hi Erell

 

14 minutes ago, Erell said:

I know that we all deal with lonelyness, and I Feel grateful for having the chance To be on SA! 

 

Yes it is ironic.

When we feel awful we want everyone to leave us alone, then we get a little better we feel lonely, this too will pass.

When I was feeling really down many months ago I went down to the beach on a very stormy night.

The clouds were racing overhead and the wind was deafening.

It was just possible to see the moon behind the clouds.

Standing on the shingle beach the waves seemed to tower above me and I experienced for the first time in many years, an adrenaline rush.

Now and again the moon would appear through the clouds and it was possible to see the white capped waves to the horizon.

The noise was incredible, waves crashing on the shingle, the roaring wind, the raw power of nature.

I realised nature is more powerful than any drug.

 

Sass

 

 

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Erell

Thank you Sass ❤ 

Nature is more powerfull than any drug.

That's exactly the feeling I have sometimes when I'm able To go To the sea. ❤

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Cocopuffz17
30 minutes ago, Erell said:

Note To myself : when my mood is ok I'm visibly able To see the improvments  😉

That is amazing! Keep pushing ! You will get there! 

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Erell

Good morning.

 

Diary Tuesday 29 October/ day 35 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

6.30am: woke up anxious (6). Very subtle but I felt like I was tiny less agitated than usual.

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

9.30am: anxiety (6) / restlessness (5) /despair (6).

10.30am: anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair  : 5

It Will be the same until 2pm. 

2pm : I went outside, To the Center of my town. Wanted To try again To go in stores. But anxiety with dizziness made me come back home.

4pm : anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

5.30pm: anxiety: 6 /restlessness: 5 / despair: 6.

7pm : eat too much.

8pm : bedtime.  anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

9pm : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 5

10pm: anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 3 / despair: 4.

 

Lights off at 10.30pm.

 

This night : what a night ! On the evening I've eaten To much I think, I was super hungry and so happy To be hungry ! But, since 2 months now, my stomach is used To small amount of food! So I ate pasta with a tomatoes sauce. 

I woke up all night with strong heartburn and I could feel it was because of the tomato sauce. At 3.30am I took some baking soda and it helped me with the burning ( hope baking soda isn't too bad in WD).

So this night I had a very slight sleep with lot of waking up.

This morning I can Feel that my stomach is upset, like if I had an indigestion from the tomato sauce.

And Feel tired.

I hope I didn't mess up too much my body.

 

 

---》 day 12 of this wave...looking forward for next Window 🏄‍♀️

 

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Vegalia

Hi @Erell

 

A lot of Tomatoes can irritate sensible bowel and stomach.

 

But dont worry, time after time your digestive systèm can be better. 

Ne pas manger trop gras, lourd ou des choses acides ou irritantes et bien sûr limiter les sucres ajoutés.. Repartir les repas.

Je connais ça par coeur si ça t'intéresse, avec des choses très rapides à cuisiner (important quand cuisiner ne fait pas envie) sans additif, ça c'est aussi important.

 

Édit : également, les sauces industrielles toutes prêtes (je sais pas si c'est ce que tu as mangé), il vaut mieux éviter, ainsi que tous les plats préparés.

 

Courage, gros bisous

 

Vega

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Sassenach

Hi

U will be fine.

Rest today and take it easy.

Sass

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Erell

Hi Sass

Thank you.

Day 13 of this wave Today, 5 weeks on 10mg Paroxetine...morning mourning !

Can't wait To Feel a bit more functionnable, able To go outside without fear. 

Sometimes worried because of this 13 days in wave, wondering if it means I'm now stabilized and won't see  other progress. 

Have To do some méditation!

Wish you a good day !

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Erell

Sorry I just need To vent a bit, and as I have no one To tell or speak, I Feel like SA is the only place where I can talk To friends.

 

I'm crying this morning because I feel so sad : I fight everyday To do the best for me and everyday is a battle. I try To meditate, To have a good routine, to go outside, to think positivly. And everyday is still a battle. 

I know we all struggle. 

 

I'm in a wave since 13 days now, and even if symptoms are less sévère, this is still so hard. I pray everyday for a window To expérience some relief And keep believing it can be better.

Right now I'm afraid of Being already stabilized and that this is my new constant state for the next months.

Could I be stabilized?

I know I have improved, but since I'm in the same state since 13 days, I wonder if all the possible improvments have already happened and I have now To live like this forever. 

 

I know no one can help with these symptoms. I tell myself everyday : "wait tomorrow,  give it one more day " To not listen To suicidal thoughts.

 

Writing here helps me To not listen To the despair voice, I hope it is ok.

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AuntieBea

Dear Errel,

 

Please know that you are not alone...you will get through this...you will feel the joy in life again!!

It is so hard to remember these things in the middle of a wave. The suffering is so intense it feels like it must me forever...but it is not.

 

For me, at times like this, it is only when another person reminds me, that I can remember and trust that it is so. That is the gift we can give each other. When you are feeling better, you do that all the time for others here on the forum. And you WILL be feeling better again. For now, just allow the rest of us to give you that reassurance.

 

Little by little, we are waking up here across the Atlantic. I’m glad Sass is already up and been able to be there for you! I’m sure  you’ll be hearing from all your American friends as well as the day goes on. You are loved. 

❤️AuntieBea

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