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Erell: struggling with paroxetine

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AuntieBea

Dear Errel,

 

6 hours ago, Erell said:

Accepting that "they are just there" is What I'm trying To do by practicing méditation. I don't have physical symptoms like palpitations, or pain. Or if I have, I usually totally accept them because I found them easier than my emotionnal state 😉 My main symptoms are emotionnal  : anxiety, dépression. I find it hard To "just live with " as they are symptoms that totally invade the mind.

But I keep trying :)

 

You are so absolutely right about this! And you said it so well. The physical symptoms really ARE easier to live with, get familiar with and accustomed to. I think that’s why I was thinking about that part last night...it’s something that seems to be getting easier for me...they scared me at first because I didn’t know what they were. But having said that, the emotional symptoms really do “invade the mind” just like you say, and make it really difficult to practice the very things that are most helpful, like meditation, mindfulness, even prayer for me.

 

I didn’t mean to minimize your struggles with the emotional symptoms at all...anxiety and depression are utterly debilitating. 

I struggle with these symptoms a lot. Also brain fog, and feeling unreal and dissociated. At these times I feel like my mind has been taken away from me, I can’t utilize it even to help myself. Then it truly does begin to feel hopeless. Other people reminding me that it IS NOT hopeless helps a lot. I just have to trust that they know better than I do in that moment...they are thinking clearly, I am not. 😊

 

You really DO keep trying Errel.  It inspires me to keep trying...! 

Thank you.

 

❤️ AuntieBea

 

 

 


1991: Start Prozac / 1993: Stop Prozac / 1995: Restart Prozac

1997: Add Wellbutrin / 2002: CT Prozac & Wellbutrin

2004-2017: Start 10mg Celexa & 150mg Wellbutrin 

2007: Add Ativan / 2009: Stop Ativan, start Klonopin & Seroquel

2012-2013: Taper off Klonopin & Seroquel

Aug 2017: Start tapering 10mg Celexa & 150mg Wellbutrin

Apr 2018: 6.5mg Celexa & 100mg Wellbutrin

Apr 2019: 5.4mg Celexa & 100mg Wellbutrin

Nov 2019: Start tapering Wellbutrin

Sept 2020: 5.4mg Celexa & 50mg Wellbutrin

 

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Erell

Dear Auntie,

 

Don't worry I know you didn't mean To minimize my symptoms  😉 😙

Keep trying: méditation and mindfulness don't seem To help for now, but I'm sure that in long view it Will give us more and more attention To présent and less mourning !

I often am hopeless too : we have To keep believing that it is NOT hopeless  😘

Have a Nice day!

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Rhiannon
5 hours ago, AuntieBea said:

Dear Errel,

 

 

You are so absolutely right about this! And you said it so well. The physical symptoms really ARE easier to live with, get familiar with and accustomed to. I think that’s why I was thinking about that part last night...it’s something that seems to be getting easier for me...they scared me at first because I didn’t know what they were. But having said that, the emotional symptoms really do “invade the mind” just like you say, and make it really difficult to practice the very things that are most helpful, like meditation, mindfulness, even prayer for me.

 

I didn’t mean to minimize your struggles with the emotional symptoms at all...anxiety and depression are utterly debilitating. 

I struggle with these symptoms a lot. Also brain fog, and feeling unreal and dissociated. At these times I feel like my mind has been taken away from me, I can’t utilize it even to help myself. Then it truly does begin to feel hopeless. Other people reminding me that it IS NOT hopeless helps a lot. I just have to trust that they know better than I do in that moment...they are thinking clearly, I am not. 😊

 

You really DO keep trying Errel.  It inspires me to keep trying...! 

Thank you.

 

❤️ AuntieBea

 

 

 

@AuntieBea and @Erell, please believe me, it is NOT hopeless. I am here right now to tell you that.

 

I saw my therapist today and I am beginning to work on remembering and grieving those awful, horrible years when I was on the drugs and always stopping and restarting them. I also remember my early months and years of withdrawal when I began tapering. And the years after those, when things were getting better.  I want you to know that it was TERRIBLE. I was not a mild case. I was so suicidal, for so many years. If it were not for my daughters I would not be alive today. It wasn't even one day at a time, sometimes it was just one hour at a time, or one minute at a time. I just kept going. I just kept breathing. I just did not die.

 

And it is SO MUCH better now. As you can see I am still on low doses of some meds, but I think I'm experiencing improvement and healing still from the larger reductions years ago. I am not only not suicidal, I am actually happy and grateful to be alive. My life isn't a picnic, I have hard things to deal with and my health isn't as good as I would like. But I am pretty steady most of the time, and SO grateful. I appreciate all the beauty around me. I am able to have good relationships with people. I laugh and cry. I feel like I have a deeper spiritual and emotional understanding of life than ever before.

 

Okay, this has turned into a long tome, but basically just know that any time you want to know if there is hope, look at me, ask me. It will probably take longer than you want it to, but yes, you are going to feel SO much better, and you are going to be happy and love life again. There is a lot of hope. Hang in there and take care of yourself so that when the day comes, you are there to enjoy it. 🙂


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Giulietta

Hello @Erell @Rhiannon @AuntieBea

 

2 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

The physical symptoms really ARE easier to live with, get familiar with and accustomed to.

 

Anxiety is utterly miserable and happens to now coincide with heart palpitations and tremors in my gut. While these are extremely unpleasant - the anxiety and sometimes near panic are my worst and most consistent WD effect.

 

It may keep you from leaving your house. Calling someone. Doing something you would do all the time. It is compelling and completely irrational.  That being said I'm not sure whether feelings of despair, self-loathing, etc. can sometimes be worse.

 

Last December started this journey with cymbalta -  the MD  told me I would have physical symptoms and that I would have times when I felt I "was going out of my mind." This is a direct quotation. When he said it, I thought to myself, 'oh, ok. good i'll be on the lookout for this.' Well, it didn't do 'it' justice.  I'm glad he told me. ;)  I otherwise don't know what I would have done.

 

That being said - with the power of positivity, determination and knowledge that someone you know, somewhere, is thinking of you and enduring the same situation and pulling for you.

 

Tomorrow morning I will say a prayer for all of us and I will respond to your letter @Erell

 

Hugs,

Giulietta

 

 


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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Erell

@Rhiannon : thank you so much for always Being there To give us hope. I know you had an incredible journey, and I strongly admire your strenght ! I'm so happy you're still alive! You're a real model for me! 

Reading that you are now feeling happy is great comfort ❤

 

Diary Saturday 2nd November / day 39 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7am woke up anxious (6)

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

9.30am : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair:5

From 10.50am To 11.40am: Went To the market. Anxiety oscillated between 5 and 6.

12 anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5

From 2pm To 5.30pm outside ! Went to the bookstore, and spent time on the seaside. Glad i've been able To stay outside! Anxiety stayed mostly at 5 !

8.30pm : bedtime. 

Anxiety : 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5

11pm anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 4.

Lights off, fall asleep around 11.30pm, woke up anxious this morning at 7am. 

 

 

 

--》 Yesterday was my first day periods.

--》 managed more To go outside,which I'm proud. Really not easy to Feel so disconnected and To Feel debilitated because of anxiety, but I'm glad I was able t0 make it !

 

--》 Well, 16 day in this wave, hoping for a window soon! Feel really stuck in this state forever😓 !  🏄‍♀️


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Vegalia

Salut !

 

Oh mais oui tu peux être fière ! 💪 :)

 

Le temps paraît si long, c'est dur mais : tu as fait des progrès indéniables.

Je suis persuadée, et on lit ceci dans bien des témoignages, que chaque petite chose qu'on est fier d'avoir réalisée, chaque petit moment qui donne un peu de plaisir malgré une souffrance toujours présente aide à aller mieux, même si c'est à pas de fourmis.

 

Au printemps et début de l'été, mes symptômes n'étaient "que" des douleurs dans les membres supérieurs et inférieurs, ainsi que de la somnolence. Malgré ça, sans trop forcer, j'ai fait un peu de jardinage, parfois 20 mn par 20 mn, un peu plus quand j'avais moins mal. Certains jours je pouvais pas mais tant pis.

 

Tout ce que j'ai fait n'a pas fonctionné : le petit potager a été nul cette année. Toutes mes plantations florales n'ont pas pris non plus. J'ai composé avec les mauvaises herbes, mais aussi avec de belles surprises : violettes, coquelicots, boutons d'or arrivés comme par magie alors que je les attendais pas. :)

Quand je fais le bilan : tant de fleurs ont poussé, beaucoup de boutures ont pris et grandissent. Mon jardin n'a rien à voir avec l'année passée. J'ai fait une sorte de thérapie par le jardin.

 

Saisis tu la métaphore ?

Pour moi guérir, aller mieux, c'est un peu comme cultiver son jardin.

 

Bisous

 

Vega

 

(Hello !   Oh yes you can be proud! 💪 :)   The time seems so long, it's hard but you've made undeniable progress. I am convinced, and we read this in many testimonies, that every little thing that we are proud to have achieved, every little moment that gives a little pleasure despite suffering always present helps to get better, even if it is not ants.   In the spring and early summer, my symptoms were "only" pain in the upper and lower limbs, as well as drowsiness. Despite this, without much force, I did a little gardening, sometimes 20 minutes per 20 minutes, a little more when I had less pain. Some days I could not but never mind.   All I did was not working: the little vegetable garden was bad this year. All my flower plantations did not take either. I composed with weeds, but also with beautiful surprises: violets, poppies, gold buttons magically arrived when I did not expect them. :) When I take stock: so many flowers sprouted, many cuttings took and grow. My garden has nothing to do with last year. I did some kind of garden therapy.   Do you catch the metaphor? For me to heal, to get better is like cultivating your garden.   Kisses   Vega)

 


 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

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AuntieBea

Dear @Rhiannon and @Erell and @Guilietta

 

I can’t stop crying here...allowing myself to feel comforted, supported, loved, and yes, hopeful.

Your words of encouragement touch my heart and give me strength and courage.

This is unimaginably hard...but I know that you already know that, which is what helps me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Thank you all for being here.

❤️ AuntieBea🐝


1991: Start Prozac / 1993: Stop Prozac / 1995: Restart Prozac

1997: Add Wellbutrin / 2002: CT Prozac & Wellbutrin

2004-2017: Start 10mg Celexa & 150mg Wellbutrin 

2007: Add Ativan / 2009: Stop Ativan, start Klonopin & Seroquel

2012-2013: Taper off Klonopin & Seroquel

Aug 2017: Start tapering 10mg Celexa & 150mg Wellbutrin

Apr 2018: 6.5mg Celexa & 100mg Wellbutrin

Apr 2019: 5.4mg Celexa & 100mg Wellbutrin

Nov 2019: Start tapering Wellbutrin

Sept 2020: 5.4mg Celexa & 50mg Wellbutrin

 

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Erell

Good morning. 

 

Diary Sunday 3 Novembre/ day 40 on 10mg Paroxetine

 

7am: woke up anxious (6)

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

8.30am: anxiety: 6 / despair: 6 / restlessness: 6

All morning it Will oscillate between 5 and 6.

1pm anxiety: 5 / despair: 5 / restlessness: 5.

From 3pm To 5.30pm: Went outside, To the seaside. Oscillation between 5 and 6, mostly 5.

5.30pm  : back home : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

7.30pm : go To bed : don't know what else To do and Feel depressed

8.30pm symptoms at 5.

9.30pm : anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 5.

Lights off at 10.45pm, fall asleep quickly.

woke up anxious this morning at 7am. 

 

🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Rhiannon

Bonne nuit, I'm off to bed Erell, have a good lundi, check in with you later.

 

I notice that even though you're not feeling all that well, your symptoms are most days pretty consistently in that 4 to 6 range, that's good for this stage of things.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Erell

Good night sweet Rhiannon 😙

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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mustafa
1 hour ago, Erell said:

Good morning. 

 

Diary Sunday 3 Novembre/ day 40 on 10mg Paroxetine

 

7am: woke up anxious (6)

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

8.30am: anxiety: 6 / despair: 6 / restlessness: 6

All morning it Will oscillate between 5 and 6.

1pm anxiety: 5 / despair: 5 / restlessness: 5.

From 3pm To 5.30pm: Went outside, To the seaside. Oscillation between 5 and 6, mostly 5.

5.30pm  : back home : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

7.30pm : go To bed : don't know what else To do and Feel depressed

8.30pm symptoms at 5.

9.30pm : anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 5.

Lights off at 10.45pm, fall asleep quickly.

woke up anxious this morning at 7am. 

 

🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️

Good morning erell, 

I see your symptomts severity is down, right? 

You could sleep quickly and this is very good and your sleep improved some♥️. You are about to stabilize; keep going.

Have a nice day, my dear and thank you for advising me to stay with family.


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Erell

Hi @mustafa !

Yes I am very Lucky To be able To sleep every night : I know that so many here struggle with insomnia, so I'm strongly grateful for these good nights of sleep❤

My symptoms severity is around 5/6 these past days, easier 😍 Still really hard because going out of my flat is a daily challenge, I live in a constant state of anxiety...and wait for a beautiful window To come ;)

However, I have made progress, so I keep hang in there.

 

Have à Nice day my friend!


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Giulietta

Coucou Erell,

 

It sounds like you may be improving overall even though the anxiety is keeping you at home. Being sleep is a huge advantage and will help you recover. Your evening routine seems to be working for you. I am so glad. ;) 

 

Have a lovely day....

 

Giulietta 🤗

 


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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sunnysideup69

Coucou Erell, 

Have been not here so much over weekend, was busy catsitting. Was lovely to have feline company, very soothing, very cuddly. Was so tired on Saturday, and so I went to bed in the afternoon, and Coconut the cat cuddled up next to me.

I'm catching up on your posts and you seem to be improving. Slow and steady is the way to go! You are levelling, and things will improve and keep improving. Hope you're having a good day...love and hugs x


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Sassenach

Hi Erell

 

Needed a couple of days off, hopefully back tomorrow.

Surprising how much you and @Vegalia improved over weekend, good news.

@Rhiannon congrats on the mentorship, got you, no way out now.🏃‍♂️👏

 

Sass

 


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Erell

Oh @Sassenach, take good care of you and be off from here as long as you need ! I strongly think of you and hope you pamper yourself ❤😚

 

 

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Erell

Good evening dear @sunnysideup69, @Guilietta

You all seem To think that I'm improving, as Sass does. 

It is Nice To hear while I Feel stuck in this no end wave , thank you,  your external point of view is so important! ❤

 

This morning, I had an appointment with my doctor To postpone work. But..I made a mistake ...I arrived with a smile ...and he didn't like that! He basically shout me and told me that I had To make efforts! That if I was able To smile then I was able To work. That a real dépressive doesn't smile...blahblah. It was quite awful. He prescribed me off work until 18 novembre,and said that he Will not help To postpone work again.

I cried in the street.

Then I thought " Sunnysideup would say this man is a turd"  😉 it made me smile again, so thank you Sunny 😘

 

I'm quite proud this evening because I réalise that I managed To apply acceptance the rest of the day. And that I didn't get too obsessed with what said this doctor this morning. 

 

Step by step...

 

Love and hugs ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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rola

 

hi erell

do not worry about your work stop you can go see a pscy he will do it easily and from here you'll be better and you can go back to work

😉I kiss you

14 minutes ago, Erell said:

Bonsoir, cher @ sunnysideup69 , @ guilietta

Vous semblez tous penser que je m'améliore, comme Sass. 

Il est agréable d'entendre pendant que je me sens coincé dans cette vague sans fin, merci, votre point de vue externe est si important!

 

Ce matin, j'avais rendez-vous avec mon médecin pour reporter le travail. Mais… j'ai commis une erreur… Je suis arrivé avec un sourire… et il n'a pas aimé ça! Il m'a essentiellement crié et m'a dit que je devais faire des efforts! Que si je pouvais sourire, je pouvais travailler. Qu'un vrai dépressif ne sourit pas ... blahblah. C'était assez affreux. Il m'a prescrit du travail jusqu'au 18 novembre et a déclaré qu'il ne m'aiderait pas à remettre le travail à plus tard.

J'ai pleuré dans la rue.

Alors je pensais que « Sunnysideup dirait que cet homme est un étron »  😉 il m'a fait sourire à nouveau, je vous remercie donc ensoleillé 😘

 

Je suis assez fier ce soir car je réalise que j'ai réussi à appliquer l'acceptation le reste de la journée. Et que je ne devenais pas trop obsédé par ce que disait ce médecin ce matin. 

 

Pas à pas...

 

Amour et câlins

 


Deroxat (paxil) 20 mg pour 10 ml

12/14 18 mg réduction de 5% tous les mois 13/01/15 14.4mg 15/08 9,6 mg 16.01 reduction3% 8 mg par mois 16/02 7,8 mg 18.02 3 mg

18.03 2,92 à 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg

 18/06 2,66 mg

26/06/18 2,58 mg en 26 jours

19/03 1,78 mg 15 jours

19/04 1, 64 mg 21 jours

19/05 1,58 mg

24/07/19 1,44 mg

14/08/19 1,4 mg

27/09/19 1,48 mg

10/09/19 retour à 1,58 mg  27/12/19 retour à 1,65mg direct transition to fluoxetine the 11/01/2020 1,65mg

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Giulietta

Coucou Erell,

 

3 hours ago, Erell said:

your external point of view is so important! ❤

 

We can be objective!

 

3 hours ago, Erell said:

this man is a turd

 

For sure.  If this were  not a public forum we could describe said turd using other colorful language. :)  I wonder if you would contact your employer about this and ask if you could start with part-time hours and have a flexible schedule?

 

3 hours ago, Erell said:

And that I didn't get too obsessed with what said this doctor this morning. 

 

You didn't allow this idiot to control over your feelings :)  and this is sign of your personal strength and improving state of mind. 

 

Hugs,

 

Giuilietta

 

 

 

 

 


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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Erell

Good morning. 

 

Diary Monday 4 Novembre/ day 41 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7am woke up anxious 

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine +1 fish oil capsule 

8.30am: anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5

Some dizziness.

It Will be the same all morning. 

11.30am: doctor appointment

12.30 anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5

1pm : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

From 3pm To 4pm I went To work. I wanted To try To connect again. I spent the hour with a kind colleague,  discussed.

Then I went To the seaside.

6pm : anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

A friend arrived, she Will stay with me until wednesday.

I did'nt apply my bedtime routine but it was nice To interact with somebody!

10pm : bedtime: anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 3 / despair: 3.

 

Lights off at 11pm, fall asleep around midnight. Woke up anxious this morning at 7am. 

 

 

--》 I felt more connected yesterday 😍

--》 I don't know where I am  : I don't think it was a window, but a wave easier To surf because of my mood.

 

 

🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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sunnysideup69
12 hours ago, Erell said:

 

This morning, I had an appointment with my doctor To postpone work. But..I made a mistake ...I arrived with a smile ...and he didn't like that! He basically shout me and told me that I had To make efforts! That if I was able To smile then I was able To work. That a real dépressive doesn't smile...blahblah. It was quite awful. He prescribed me off work until 18 novembre,and said that he Will not help To postpone work again.

I cried in the street.

Then I thought " Sunnysideup would say this man is a turd"  😉 it made me smile again, so thank you Sunny 😘

 

 

Oh my gosh. Erell, this man is indeed a little turd, and a particularly smelly one. What an astounding lack of understanding about depression - but it doesn't surprise me, unfortunately. Within the medical profession, there is such a huge sea of misinformation. It scares me.

Perhaps it is time for a new GP. He sounds awful.

In the meantime, I'm so glad you handled it well. Am really glad to have made you smile. Just as I discovered last week at work, there are going to be little turds along the way. We have to walk around them and not get them stuck to our shoes ;) You've inspired me and reminded me today, so thank you.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Giulietta
6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

We have to walk around them and not get them stuck to our shoes ;) 

 

They can be landmines and  - and if they stick to our shoes even briefly - we wipe them off by scrubbing them off on the pavement. 😎 

 

6 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Within the medical profession, there is such a huge sea of misinformation. It scares me.

 

So many of of these people are psychopaths (hate to be blunt about it). I said to the therapist yesterday that the prescribers of thse meds should have their medical licenses revoked. That didn't go over well (even if it is the truth) so I ought to keep my mouth shut. She works with these peole...

 

Time for a 2nd opinion. Good thing you are informed. Wish I could recommend someone for you.

 

Again - kudos to you for handling this and taking the high road. I think some of these cretins know they are not knowledgeable about this, don't want to ask questions (MDs don't like our questions to begin with!) because it shows they don't know everything....

 

Hugs and glad you were feeling better, sweetie.

 

Giuilietta 🤗


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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Erell

Hi !

 

Yes I maybe should find an other doctor..But it is not easy : where I live they are all full and don't easily accept new patients. And, honestly, I don't really believe I can find a better one : since 2014, when I started my slow benzo taper, i've seen many different doctors, and never find one that believe in WD or one who would give support. 

We have To "use" doctors, To get what we need. Unfortunately: I would obviously prefer honest relationship.

 

Yesterday was a bit easier so I managed To accept the situation. 

Have To admit it is harder Today, and I'm struggling with acceptance. Today, it's been 19 days in this wave.

As Rhiannon always says, I'm still in early days. And have To be patient.

But sometimes I really struggle with the feeling of Being stuck forever in this 5/6 wave. And can't avoid myself To wonder if it is true that I Will see another window. 

When I don't believe, I ask myself if I could live like this. And I can't say "yes". I can't imagine living my all life 8n 5his state. I can't imagine live next months in this constant. 

 

So I try To live in the now. But the now is so hard. I need To escape. And try To imagine a better future.

 

Well I'm sorry, this is not a very positive post. I keep on hoping for a window.

 

I wish you all a Nice day ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Sassenach

Hi Erell

 

I was not in a wave, in fact had the best week so far.

I spent too much time on here because I was well and also had commitments over the weekend.

Seriously well done for the way you handled this.

11 minutes ago, Erell said:

We have To "use" doctors, To get what we need. Unfortunately: I would obviously prefer honest relationship.

They don't deserve honesty, they have never given it to us.

Then you managed this

8 hours ago, Erell said:

 I went To work. I wanted To try To connect again. I spent the hour with a kind colleague,  discussed.

Then I went To the seaside

And this

 

8 hours ago, Erell said:

anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

And this, look at the numbers

8 hours ago, Erell said:

 bedtime: anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 3 / despair: 3.

And this, even better numbers.

Followed by

9 hours ago, Erell said:

Lights off at 11pm, fall asleep around midnight. Woke up anxious this morning at 7am

7 hours sleep.

1 hour ago, Erell said:

Well I'm sorry, this is not a very positive post. I keep on hoping for a window

I know you would like a window but there is one thing more important, baseline improvement, and you certainly have that.

At the risk of tempting providence you not only have an improvement but it is almost linear, which is even better.

The fact that you are trying to reconnect is great, only a couple of weeks ago you did not want to leave your flat.

You are doing really well, as Rhi said one day at a time.

 

Sass

 

 


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Giulietta
1 hour ago, Erell said:

I need To escape. And try To imagine a better future.

We can escape together. 🤣  Visualizing a better future helps me. That someone prepared me for this and supported me - the MD - eventhough he was surprised/astounded at WD effects - helped.

 

The days get better. Wish I was there in person to comfort you. ☹️ Keep the faith. We've all been there.

 

Yees, about the MDs. there is a scarcity of general practitioners (we call them internists) and psychiatrists here too, particularly in mental health. I think they are paid amongst the least well maybe why there is a waiting list. They are a small community so talk (about us I imagine. :) ). YOu are right that honesty is the best possibililty.  In my meeting last week with mine - I mentioned that having a team approach would make this a smoother recovery. He agreed.

 

Staying in the moment does and focus on what we are doing n(and doing something - no matter how 'small' per se) helps prevent us from ruminating - at least it helped me.

 

This system won't let me quote you for some reason.  I understand am sorry you are less accepting and more upset about the turd's comment yesterday.  I wonder if turd was trying to intimidate you?  Maybe he really does undestand t understand the ups and downs of WD? That you can feel OK in the morning and bad in the afternoon?

 

I lot can happen in 19 days. You may be feeling much better - or not much better. Or a bit better to work somewhat.

 

If it helps you - when I was out of work twice on on medical leave - I touched base eith my supervisor about how I was deoing and was I well enough to come back to work. If the MD says around 19th that yes she is OK to try - or no - so be it. And if you try and it doesn't work and it maks you worse - you stop and redo the papeerwork (or whatever the process is). Or maybe you aren't sufficiently well to start in Nov 19. And you won't know until until much closer. If that is the case - you take appropriate steps to postpone return.

 

Will write later. Hang in there and thinking of you dear @Erell 🤗

 

I am sorry you are so sad today and are in my thoughts.

 

Hugs,

Giuilietta


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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Erell
9 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

 

At the risk of tempting providence you not only have an improvement but it is almost linear, which is even better.

 

Yesterday I was exactly wondering if I was expériencing a linear improvment. But Today is harder than yesterday, hardly went outside, disconnected, anxious and sad.

 

I'm sorry, I thought that these past few days I had made good progress in acceptance, and Today I Feel sad and unaccepting. 

 

one day at a time, I Will keep trying.


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Sassenach

Total linear recovery does not exist but you are nearer to it than most.

 

Chin up.

 

Sass


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Erell

@Guilietta : no I wasn't talking about what the MD said. I talked about less acceptance because Today I struggle with accepting my symptoms. 

 

Thank you for your support ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Rhiannon

Hello, just stopping by for hugs 🙂

 

Also to let you know we are having a staffing crisis at work, so I may be working some overtime, and I won't have as much time as I have had recently to spend on this site. I'll probably drop in every day though but if you don't see me around as much don't worry.

 

Hang in there, you are doing great.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Erell

@Rhiannon : Thank you for your hugs  😚 they are welcome! 😉

Hope you won't work too much, take good care of yourself and ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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AuntieBea

Dear Erell,

 

I am so sorry that you continue to struggle through this wave.... I think of you and check in on you often.

I just re-read Rhiannon’s post from a few days ago...her story of hope. I also am struggling today with symptoms so relying on others to remind me that this isn’t forever, that it will get better, that there is reason to have hope. Maybe it would help you also.

 

Take good care of yourself, Erell.

With love and hugs, AuntieBea🐝

 


1991: Start Prozac / 1993: Stop Prozac / 1995: Restart Prozac

1997: Add Wellbutrin / 2002: CT Prozac & Wellbutrin

2004-2017: Start 10mg Celexa & 150mg Wellbutrin 

2007: Add Ativan / 2009: Stop Ativan, start Klonopin & Seroquel

2012-2013: Taper off Klonopin & Seroquel

Aug 2017: Start tapering 10mg Celexa & 150mg Wellbutrin

Apr 2018: 6.5mg Celexa & 100mg Wellbutrin

Apr 2019: 5.4mg Celexa & 100mg Wellbutrin

Nov 2019: Start tapering Wellbutrin

Sept 2020: 5.4mg Celexa & 50mg Wellbutrin

 

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Markolo1980

@Erell I belive this might comfort you a bit. I had a nice window for almost a week now. I had practically zero symptoms, I all ready thought I was over but today it hit me with anxiety and nervousness big time.  Since I don’t have any stressors I know it’s WDs. Even after more than 4 months of lowering dosage its still hard, but I see big improvement, windows are much longer. 
 

belive me, Im in the same struggle and I know exactly how it feels....

 

I also do all that I can to feel better....and I do it on daily basis ( visualization, yoga, long walks, no sugars, no alcohol, excersise in gym ...you name it ) and must say it does help, especially the walks I find most efficient.

 

 


2007-2015  10mg Lexapro ( escitalopram )

2015 november stopped cold turkey

2016 june - 2017 avgust 20mg Lexapro

cause it didn’t work for me anymore, psychiatrist  switched me to paxil

2017 avgust-  2019 february  40mg Paxil

2019 february lowered dose to 35 mg Paxil

2019 march lowered dose to 30 mg Paxil

2019 15.june lowered dose to 20mg Paxil

 

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mustafa

Hello erell, yesterday 5 Nov was bad to me too.

In good days I can play football but become very tired, I don't be able to run or do tough effort but yesterday was bad however, I played football😂, my team members told me that I was the reason of the defeat but I didn't care 😂; one thing was very good to me, even simple and not enough, when I compared myself to the times I played football before, I found iam better, it is true that it isn't enough but better and I felt refuse and not accepting, I think the not accepting feeling is because I need to live life again, need to be with people and need to be myself again so if you not accept, you are better erell.

Asking yourself: can I live my life like this, is an evidence you are stronger. you reminded me that all this will be a memory and I love to remember your words a lot.

Big hugs to you my dear.


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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mustafa
5 hours ago, Sassenach said:

They don't deserve honesty, they have never given it to us.

If you talk about doctors, You are right sassenach, I will never forget the day I was very upset and feel no longer want to live and despite that, the psychiatrist let me go without any, any care for this.


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Erell

@AuntieBea, @mustafa, @Markolo1980 : Thank you so much for your support ❤

Your words are really great comfort.

 

Diary Tuesday 5 Novembre/ day 42 on 10mg Paroxetine

 

7am : woke up anxious (6).

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine  + 1 fish oil capsule 

All morning: anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5. Internal tremors. 

12 : Went To the seaside To walk.

All afternoon : anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair : 5-6.

9.20pm : bedtime. Internal tremors. 

Anxiety: 5-6 / restlessness : 5 / despair: 5.

Lights off at 11pm, fall asleep around midnight. 

Woke up anxious this morning at 7am. 

 

🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Giulietta

Hello Erell,

 

I am sorry you are despondent about how you feel (and that I misinterpeted)

 

19 hours ago, Erell said:

Today I struggle with accepting my symptoms. 

 

You comforted me on my trouble to accept my emotional symptoms and life situation. You reminded me to take one day at a time.

 

20 hours ago, Erell said:

Yesterday I was exactly wondering if I was expériencing a linear improvment. But Today is harder than yesterday,

 

There is no linear improvement. 😢 After a day or two of feeling almost ourselves - we may feel we are going to get better steadily. But then we slide back until we move forward again - and then have longer windows - even if longer by a little bit. I remember this feeling of having two or three nice days - and then thought I was OK! Only to have the ugly days come back - and then they went way and the good days come back.  ☀️

 

6 hours ago, Erell said:

bedtime. Internal tremors. 

Anxiety: 5-6 / restlessness : 5 / despair: 5.

Lights off at 11pm, fall asleep around midnight. 

Woke up anxious this morning at 7am. 

 

This stinks. I know it does - and that will it go away. Please believe it that it will.

 

16 hours ago, Markolo1980 said:

I had practically zero symptoms, I all ready thought I was over but today it hit me with anxiety and nervousness

 

Markolo expresses this well. Sorry @Markolo1980

 

Hugs to you all,

Giulietta 💓

 

p.s. @Rhiannon I'm sorry that you have added work / stress at work and I hope they get needed staff soon. ;)


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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