Jump to content
Erell

Erell: struggling with paroxetine

Recommended Posts

Adili13

Hi Erell,

 

I just wanted to pop in and say how amazing you are for reaching out to and helping so many people during such a tough time for you. It is truly a testament to your compassion and empathy for others. I’ve spent a lot of time on this site only using my own page, but I am trying to reach out more to others to share hope.
 

To continued healing,

 

Anthony 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Erell

Hello dears,

 

Tomorrow i'm going back To work, after 4 months off. 

I'm excited and glad!

But i'm also anxious!

I think it's normal To Feel anxious after 4 months out of my work routine, and I'm gonna do a lot of selfcare today. 

But if some folks stop by here today and want To encourage me it Will be very much apreciated! 😉😇

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
mstimc
1 minute ago, Erell said:

Hello dears,

 

Tomorrow i'm going back To work, after 4 months off. 

I'm excited and glad!

But i'm also anxious!

I think it's normal To Feel anxious after 4 months out of my work routine, and I'm gonna do a lot of selfcare today. 

But if some folks stop by here today and want To encourage me it Will be very much apreciated! 😉😇

 

 

Bonjour, Erell!

 

Yes, a bit of anxiety is perfectly normal after being off for a while.  Before I retired, we would get the time between Christmas and New Years' off, and I'd feel a bit anxious coming back for a new year.  I think work helped me get through my anxiety be providing a routine, controlled environment for nine hours a day.  I'm sure you'll rock it tomorrow!  Enjoy a relaxing Sunday!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69
21 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Hi Erell,

 

I just wanted to pop in and say how amazing you are for reaching out to and helping so many people during such a tough time for you. It is truly a testament to your compassion and empathy for others. I’ve spent a lot of time on this site only using my own page, but I am trying to reach out more to others to share hope.
 

To continued healing,

 

Anthony 

 

 

Yes, I want to second this, Anthony, @Erell I've really been struck by how much encouragement you offer others.

 

With regards to work, I think it's going to be so good for you to go back. Sure, you may feel nervous, anxious etc. but once you get back into it, it will provide such a welcome relief from WD, at times. And of course, sometimes at work you will still feel the WD. Personally though, I have found that to be more manageable than you might think, employ your mindfulness etc. and you will cope. It forces you to focus outside of yourself and that can be a very good thing in WD.

Self care needs to really continue, too, as you adjust to your new routine.

I think you're going to be just fine, will be sending virtual hugs from London.

Lots of love,

SSU x

Share this post


Link to post
Vegalia
1 hour ago, Erell said:

Hello dears,

 

Tomorrow i'm going back To work, after 4 months off. 

I'm excited and glad!

But i'm also anxious!

I think it's normal To Feel anxious after 4 months out of my work routine, and I'm gonna do a lot of selfcare today. 

But if some folks stop by here today and want To encourage me it Will be very much apreciated! 😉😇

 

 Hello Erell, 

 

I'm happy for you. :)

 You can do it ! 

 

Take good care of you. 

 

Kisses

 

Vega

Share this post


Link to post
Erell

Thank you so much, your words mean a lot today ❤

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Frenchgirl

Hi Erell

Happy To see you're feeling better.

And you CAN work now, that's great.

Don't worry everything would be ok!

Take Care.

Frenchgirl.

Share this post


Link to post
Sassenach

Hello You.

 

Wow, you should be proud of your achievement.

It is your achievement, other's have helped but ultimately it is your own efforts and self belief.

Have a good day tomorrow, do it your way.

We will miss you.

 

Sass

Share this post


Link to post
Cocopuffz17

So great! You will do awesome! All the best to you! 

Share this post


Link to post
rola

Hey, erell.

I'm glad you could get back to work. you'll see you'll be fine;

it's very good news I kiss you😘

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Guilietta

Coucou Erell,

 

Happy New Year!

 

As Sass said, this is going to be your year to shine. The stabilization is coming!  Look how far you have come.

 

On the topic of diaries - that you are moving away from them is a positive sign that the symptoms are receding a bit. I find documenting on paper in general terms - and some days I forget - is helpful.

 

What did you do for New Year's?

 

Giulietta

 

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

Good luck today xxxxx

Share this post


Link to post
Guilietta

Coucou Erell

 

What wonderful news! I am thrilled you are going back to work today. It means you are feeling better and able to resume 'normalcy.' It is quite normal to feel nervous about going back to work, starting a new job, etc.

 

Everyone is going to be happy to have you  back, the distraction (and money) are so good for you. Closer and closer to being back to your normal self. :)

 

Guilietta

 

Share this post


Link to post
Erell

Hi dear friends ❤

 

Well, I'm exhausted but i did it!!! Thank you all for your supportive words, it helped me To read your words !

 

It was not an easy day  : first I struggled To fall asleep Yesterday evening, with some seconds of terror.

And today I had some Spikes of anxiety, and strong intrusive thoughts saying "you Will Feel this chemical anxiety forever",  "you won't be able To finish the week ", " you're gonna have strong bad waves soon" "because you went back To work and will be tired you Will have very bad waves"...

I know this is all WD because I love my job and have very Nice colleagues, so it is not my job that stress me.

 

So it won't be so easy To be back To work with this annoying chemical anxiety, but I really wanna do it so I'll keep on going :)

 

I'm too tired now To be able To read you and To focus , but I Will try To read your threads this week !

 

Now my hope is that things keep on progressing and maybe even that this chemical anxiety disappear ! ❤

 

Big hugs To all!

 

On 1/5/2020 at 5:57 PM, Sassenach said:

We will miss you.

I'm not going anywhere dear Sass, I have years of tappering ahead me, and a book To write 😉😙

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Sassenach
2 minutes ago, Erell said:

Now my hope is that things keep on progressing and maybe even that this chemical anxiety disappear !

You have done the hardest, easier from now on.

Gte some rest, no reply needed.

 

Sass

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

Yaaaaaaaay! Fantastic! No need for responses, just rest up. You are coping with the symptoms and not letting them stop you, that's great! Catch up with you later in the week, make sure you eat and rest and sleep xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Vegalia

Salut Erell 

 

Bravo ! Tu peux être fière. 

Toujours aussi courageuse  forte et inspirante. 

Repose toi bien. 

Prends soin de toi avant toute chose. 

 

Gros bisous. 

 

Vega. 

 

Ps :pas besoin de répondre non plus. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
rola

salut erell 

super contente pour toi, tu vas y arriver tu verras 

repose toi bien tu l as bien mérité

je t 'embrasse 😘

Share this post


Link to post
Guilietta

Coucou Erell

 

Congratulations! You have started the new year with a big bang. :) No need to reply. So glad things went well and sending good thoughts and hugs to you.

 

xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Cathy4

Wow, way to go, Erell!!!

I am impressed with your tremendous courage.  Thank you for being an inspiration to me.  
HUG, 

Cathy ❤️

Share this post


Link to post
Heath

Way to go erel! It will get much easier! You love you work and enjoy your work mates that will go a long way with your positivity. I like your description of anxiety thoughts on Sunday it is so true. The anxiety lies to us. Your work will help you walk right through wd symptoms! Erel I want to encourage you as you have others!  I’ve made myself do this before and listen to the anxiety lies and then I am tired but feel so much better! You can do this ! Keep going! Hang in there !!!

Share this post


Link to post
Guilietta
7 hours ago, Heath said:

The anxiety lies to us.

 

Well said!

Share this post


Link to post
Erell

Wow, thank you Again To all of you, your words give me so much strenght ! ❤

For now i'm too tired on the evenings,but I will take time this weekend To answer!

 

Big hugs !

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Rhiannon

That's great, you're working again! I find that it's sometimes hard to get myself out the door to go to work but once I get there the routine and the distraction can actually be helpful. I hope it turns out to be a positive change for you too. You have made much progress!

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

Sending good wishes, hoping your day was good ❤️

Share this post


Link to post
MissyE
On 1/7/2020 at 5:24 PM, Erell said:

Wow, thank you Again To all of you, your words give me so much strenght ! ❤

For now i'm too tired on the evenings,but I will take time this weekend To answer!

 

Big hugs !

Hey lady that's testament to how loved you are. Keep up the self care!  You deserve to be proud getting back to work.  Remember also to take it steady.

🤗Missy x

Share this post


Link to post
Erell

hello dear survivors !

 

Thank you SO MUCH for all your supportive words this week : I haven't been there a lot, but you helped me a lot ! ❤️

 

So here I am, weekend after one full week of work...I'm proud of myself ! I wouldn't have been able to do it weeks ago, but now work is actually a nice distraction.

 

It hasen't been easy, but really doable

 

- main thing annoying me is the chemical anxiety I still feel : it is waaaay lower than it has been of course, but constantly there. I had some spikes at work, everyday of this week, but they didn't last ❤️

I can feel that it is a chemical one because it is related to a chemical restlessness, or because it happen suddenly without any reason.

This anxiety makes me doubt, and I have intrusive thoughts about possible waves of terror coming.

 

- I'm also very tired, physically and cognitively. I find this very normal while going back to work, so it doesn't really bother me. Have to let time do his job ;)

 

- Fortunately, I still have very sweet nights of sleep, 8hours. ❤️

 

- I'm trying to do a lot of selfcare : not easy because I now spend my days at work, but I manage to practice some mindfullness on mornings and evenings. 

 

- I had some weird spikes of sadness this week, again with no reason. But, it is also very managable, and doesn't last too long ❤️

 

I don't feel stable yet, and I don't plan to consider a taper before next summer, I'll see there how I'll feel. I'm looking forward to it, because I'm looking forward to the day I'll be drug free. But most important for me now is to live my life, without being bedridden by anxiety. So I'm ok to wait months before considering any change.

 

I'm also trying to think that "everything happen in its time" : even if I would like to do more, for now my priority is work. I'm patiently waiting for the day I will be able to socialize more, or do more.

 

I dont come here a lot because : I'm really tired on evenings and can't focus on what people wrote, and also because I still feel triggered by some stories. 

Even if I try to ignore them, I still live with a lot of doubts : doubts about future taper, doubts about the possibility that chemical anxiety disappear, doubts about the ability to live a "normal" life or to feel "normal" one day...

Be sure I'm still thinking of you my dears ❤️

 

 

Well, If I had to resume, I would say that life is not easy, but wayyyyy better than last autumn ❤️;)

 

My hopes for the next two months : days without chemical anxiety, and some improvments with tiredness. 😋

 

Again, thank you! I'm so blessed to have you all in my life  ! ❤️

 

THANK YOU 

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
mstimc

Sending prayers and positive thoughts from Portugal, Erell! It sounds like you are really taking the right approach--make changes when you're ready, not on a schedule you feel you have to stick to. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

@Erell, am so happy for you, great that you've gone back to work. The chemical anxiety will go away. You're right to prioritise getting to work.

 

Socialising will come in its own time. I went out on Thursday evening, it was lovely, the first time in ages I've really enjoyed being out. Just tried to go out again now and found the underground not running from my stop....too knackered to do the alternative route. 

Wishing you a happy and relaxing evening :) 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Sassenach

Well done🤗

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Erell

Miss you Sass 🤗

Share this post


Link to post
Sassenach
23 hours ago, Erell said:

and also because I still feel triggered by some stories. 

it's a phase we go through.

Share this post


Link to post
Rhiannon

You are doing SO WELL! I am so proud of you! 🙂

 

Share this post


Link to post
mustafa

Hello @Erell

One thing I noticed during this journey of withdrawals is that I will deal whatever it is, when I was with my friends( during very bad waves), I was obliged to behave in a suitable way despite that if I felt this feeling ( which I had when with friends), if I had this feeling before being with them, I wouldn't have left home but when it attacked me when iam with friends, I was obliged to behave correctly.

All these lines mean that I want to tell u even u had some problems( and I hope you don't have) at work, u will be able to overcome or at least, force yourself to behave properly and I was sometimes stand agains my fear and throw myself in social situations despite anxiety and restlessness; I hope u understand it .

One more thing altostrata told me and I believed it that, these withdrawals are lifting slowly so they hide step by step but the moment we all need to live to feel recovered will come and u will live it as u want to.

Don't worry about the unknown future, may be it doesn't deserve all this anxiety❤️.

Good night dear ❤️.

Share this post


Link to post
Longestroadhome

Thank you for visiting my thread. Anxiety can wreak hazard in our lives but we can learn to manage it. I personally like to break down my thoughts and see them for what they are. Often I realise that my thoughts have made up a story all by themselves and I am just going along for the ride! There are many techniques, and I am sure you know, that can help. It sounds as though you are managing very well. I don’t come here often these days as it can trigger me. Once upon a time I lived here too much! I pray your healing continues. Life is good 🙏❤️

Share this post


Link to post
sunnysideup69

Coucou @Erell, just flying by before my computer goes off tonight.....wishing you a great rest of the working week, will post a bit more at the weekend :)

Hugs x

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy