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Erell: struggling with paroxetine

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Vegalia

Hi  Erell, 

 

As you know I have read a lot the French forum end other French documents and it seems me that prozac bridge is not familiar for French doctors. Or they makes 50 % first AD and 50% new AD 2 or 3 weeks and full new AD.

Most of the time it seems that for switch with 2 AD same category (ISRS) switch is direct. 

I don't say that it is a good method but it seem's to be french habits. 

 

My English is bad but I know you can understand. ;)

 

Courage ma belle.

 

Vega

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Erell

Yes I understand you well :)

 

I agree, French doctors don't seem to be familiar with Prozac bridge, while Altostrata mentionned the fact that a lot of American doctors seem to use this option.

 

Merci pour ton soutien si précieux  !

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sunnysideup69

Morning, @Erell,

 

 

Unfortunately, paroxetine is a nasty little turd and you may have to sneak off much slower than you would have liked, but you are still getting there.

Your GP's comments about only needing hypnosis to get off antidepressants are ridiculous. I find it sad that those who are supposed to look after us have so little knowledge.

 

Yesterday in London, the evening was so windy I thought the trees in the back garden were going to come down. 

Anyway, thinking of you. xxx

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Erell
13 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Unfortunately, paroxetine is a nasty little turd and you may have to sneak off much slower than you would have liked, but you are still getting there.

 

Yes I think I'll have to sneak off much slower than I thought. It's ok, I now accept it.

 

Followed Altostrata suggestion and updosed to 7 mg Fluoxetine this morning, hoping it will help my poor destabilised CNS to compensate the lack of Paroxetine.

 

Anxiety has been slightly better some moments today, less extreme. I've even been able to take a gentle 30 min walk outside ! ❤️ I'll take this for a good sign ! ;)

Also struggled with strong doom feelings and some SI surges. It reminds me the intensity symptoms had when I first came to SA.

I think that's why I panic : after months of slow and gradual stabilisation, here I go again.

 

Since the beginning of my bridge, I've made a lot of dose changes/reinstatements so it makes sense. I don't think I've done something wrong, followed the advices and examples.

But I must confess I'm a bit worried about going back to acute for months.

 

I just hope Fluoxetine updose will help with those strong WD sympoms and help to fade intensity a bit.

 

I know there is no quick fix, Fluoxetine will ramp up slowly, so I have to be patient. ;)

 

Take care ❤️

 

 

 

 

Edited by Erell

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Altostrata

We never know the exact amount of fluoxetine to substitute in the Prozac switch. Could be a little more will stabilize you.

 

Given its long half-life, it will take at least a week for that increase in fluoxetine to take full effect. You may feel fluctuations for a while.

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Erell
18 hours ago, Altostrata said:

We never know the exact amount of fluoxetine to substitute in the Prozac switch. Could be a little more will stabilize you.

 

Given its long half-life, it will take at least a week for that increase in fluoxetine to take full effect. You may feel fluctuations for a while.

 

Yes, it is impossible to predict which amount will be sufficient to substitute. We can only make bets ;)

It was quite nice to hope that 5 or 6 mg would be sufficient, with a shorter taper after ! ;)

 

But in my case it didn't work, and that's ok. Now I have to hope patiently that 7mg will help with strong neuroemotions and makes me functionnal again.

 

There will be more bets next months while trying to get off Paroxetine and finding the 'best' Fluoxetine amount to do so.

I must confess it scares me.

I'm probably dealing with too much neuroemotions now to think clearly and with confidence. It's been 2.5 months since I started this switch, and I'm probably tired of my bumpy year.

Time only will say what will work.

 

And yes fluctuations is the right current word :D

 

But I also have to remember that I posted this only 20 days ago

" I'm doing way better :

 - reinstated 0.1mg Paroxetine 2 weeks ago, and after one week had moments while I felt almost symptomfree...! Can't tell how wonderful it was to realise that weird chemical anxiety had gone.

- I still have some chemical anxiety/dizziness, but very low, with some spikes. Actually, it feels like if Fluoxetine is progressively kicking in."

 

Remembering this post helps me to believe that my switch is working, and that I'm just facing an obstacle on the assured and close road to stabilisation ;)

 

 

I'm really grateful for your presence and opinions during this bumpy bridge. I feel my lack of knowledge and experience to take the best decisions during this long crossover, and interprete the process, so it is very valuable to benefit from your experience and dispassionate suggestions. 

Thank you ❤️

 

Edited by Erell

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Hanna72

Sorry to hear that you are struggling. 🙏It’s true we are all different and what works for one might not work for another. I know this journey is scary, I was also really afraid when I started my taper in January 2019. 
For what it’s worth in my experience tapering of Prozac was a much gentler ride, I think cause of its half life. You have come along way, and I will pray that you can stabilise soon, at least get some relief. 
My thoughts are with you Erell💖

Stay strong, don’t be hard on yourself, you are doing everything that you can. 

And please have faith in yourself.

I want to tell you that in my darkest moments I use to talk to myself out loud, encouragement words, like : you can do this, you will survive and so on. Be your own best friend🥰

Hugs to you💖

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Longroadhome
2 hours ago, Erell said:

 

Yes, it is impossible to predict which amount will be sufficient to substitute. We can only make bets ;)

It was quite nice to hope that 5 or 6 mg would be sufficient, with a shorter taper after ! ;)

 

But in my case it didn't work, and that's ok. Now I have to hope patiently that 7mg will help with strong neuroemotions and makes me functionnal again.

 

There will be more bets next months while trying to get off Paroxetine and finding the 'best' Fluoxetine amount to do so.

I must confess it scares me.

I'm probably dealing with too much neuroemotions now to think clearly and with confidence. It's been 2.5 months since I started this switch, and I'm probably tired of my bumpy year.

Time only will say what will work.

 

And yes fluctuations is the right current word :D

 

But I also have to remember that I posted this only 20 days ago

" I'm doing way better :

 - reinstated 0.1mg Paroxetine 2 weeks ago, and after one week had moments while I felt almost symptomfree...! Can't tell how wonderful it was to realise that weird chemical anxiety had gone.

- I still have some chemical anxiety/dizziness, but very low, with some spikes. Actually, it feels like if Fluoxetine is progressively kicking in."

 

Remembering this post helps me to believe that my switch is working, and that I'm just facing an obstacle on the assured and close road to stabilisation ;)

 

 

I'm really grateful for your presence and opinions during this bumpy bridge. I feel my lack of knowledge and experience to take the best decisions during this long crossover, and interprete the process, so it is very valuable to benefit from your experience and dispassionate suggestions. 

Thank you ❤️

 

You chose the only route you could because of Paxil liquid not being available to you. 
Once you have stabilised on the dose required it will be easier to taper from because of it’s longer half life 

hang in there thinking of you 

LRH 
 

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Altostrata

How are you feeling with that slight increase?

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Erell
4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

How are you feeling with that slight increase?

 

- Doom feelings and SI surges have faded and are now mild. 

- High anxiety/dread may have faded slightly, hard to tell. Very intense all day.

- Cortisol rushes still strong(night and morning).

 

Waiting for Fluoxetine to ramp up ;)

Edited by Erell

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Altostrata

Good signs.

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Cocopuffz17
18 hours ago, Erell said:

 

- Doom feelings and SI surges have faded and are now mild. 

- High anxiety/dread may have faded slightly, hard to tell. Very intense all day.

- Cortisol rushes still strong(night and morning).

 

Waiting for Fluoxetine to ramp up ;)

Hang in there ! You got this and will get through this :) 

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Erell
12 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Hang in there ! You got this and will get through this :) 

Thank you ❤️

 

Really appreciate your support dear folks ❤️

 

After 2 weeks forcing myself, I didn't manage to go to work this morning, because of unmanageable crying spells and inability to focus (yesterday I did only mistakes at work because all my strenght was focused on trying to behave). I can't function or work currently, symptoms are too intense (mostly dread /impending doom feelings / uncontrollable crying spells and SI / strong nauseas/ cortisol rushes/ racing thoughts).

Trying to find a dr that will accept to prescribe some time off.

 

While in crisis, I'm quite obsessed by the idea of finding some hope and reassurance.

And I still feel quite lost about understanding what's happening, what I can reasonably expect next couple of months.

I re-read threads from people who did a Prozac bridge. 

And there are people who managed to ;) Reading the testimonies, it appears that my mistake may have been to try a too low Fluoxetine amount.

People who did successfull bridges attempted higher equivalencies : for example 10mg Paxil ---> 10mg Fluoxetine.

 

It's only been 4 days since I increased to 7mg, so I have to wait to see if it helps.

 

I'm not complaining or regretting : I did the best I could, making researches and following careful advices.

I'm just hit by the fear of a long PAWS from Paxil, and dealing with so intense dark feelings.

 

I also use a lot of nondrug coping skills : mindfullness, listening to sweet music, relaxation session, talking positive out loud, trying to change the channel by doing acitivities (cleaning, gentle walks, ...).

 

But while falling down in a very dark place, I read a lot your nice words and want to thank you and let you know how much your support is valuable atm ❤️

 

Let's hope for brighter days,

 

One day I will be better and dance ☀️

 

 

Edited by Erell

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sunnysideup69

Brighter days are coming, @Erell.

I think it's good if you can get some time off, trying to put on a 'face' at work is stressful when symptoms are high.

Sending hugs and support.

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Vegalia

Hi  Erell

 

Good job to not regret and have hope. So important for getting better. 

 

Fingers crosses. Don't stop to be positive even if you have difficulties. What a beautiful message of hope and you're right. 

 

I want to dance too. One day we will dance my dear. 

 

Kisses

 

 

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Longroadhome

Erell

do not despair and beat yourself up. 

you did the right thing by changing because of liquid form of Paxil not being available to you . I would have done exactly the same In your shoes. 
hang in there 

it will get better. You could very well turn a corner tomorrow that’s how strange WD is.
have you read Baylissa Frederick books ? They are so good and she is so reassuring that we all recover from WD. believe in this because it is true. If you get the opportunity you can book a phone appointment with Baylissa. She has dealt with many many MANY people going through WD from all around the world  And is so reassuring . She also has a website Bloom In Wellness which I highly recommend. 
 
thinking of you 

LRH 

 

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Mimi79
13 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

have you read Baylissa Frederick books ? They are so good and she is so reassuring that we all recover from WD.

This is so true!! I’ve just read her book, « With hope in my heart » and it gave me so much hope! I highly recommend it. 
There is two quotes from her book that I’m repeating myself when I’m feeling down: « This too shall pass » and my favorite one, « The usual Outcome of withdrawal is recovery ». 

The last one is my new mantra! 

Take care of you, dear Errel!

 

Hugs to you from Montréal!

À bientôt!

 

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Cigale

Bonjour @Erell - I am sending you the warmth of the sun, the scents of lavender fields, and the sweet song of the cigales! And the gentlest hug! 

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Hanna72

Dear Erell, believe that this will pass.

Your brain and body is repairing itself for a new you.

Imagine the feeling of a drug free life. No filter anymore. You will be able to look at the world in a new light. Have deeper connection with people, and feel your surroundings in a way it will take your breath away.
Imagine how good it will feel. All the hard work and suffering will pay off, in a way that will amaze you. See yourself whole, and the warm sun shining on your face in the future. This journey will make you stronger in the end, and you will look back someday and see, if you can survive this, well then you can accomplish anything

Hugs to you💖

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Erell

Hello dears, 

 

and thank you for you sweet support ❤️ I really appreciate it and it helps me to hang on.

 

Baylissa Frderick books are not translated in French. But I sometimes read her website ;)

 

I'm absolutely certain that we all do heal, that's what helps me to hang on.

I read a lot Success Stories these days ;)

And I love visualising how good will life feel when I'll be drug free and healed ! I know I'll be able to deal with common emotions after this journey. 

I know it will get better ❤️

 

It's just very hard to hang on with strong neuroemotions and racing dark thoughts. And it has consequences on daily life : risk of loosing your job, financial issues, ... .

But you already know that.
Trying to build a safety plan (intesne SI) (grateful for the ressources I found in Sympomes and selfcare topic ❤️ )

Strong apathy, DR and DP (didn't recognise myself in the mirror this morning).

 

I'm a bit exhausted I think : I've struggled years to taper slowly benzos, then careful  Paroxetine taper.

And after a big crash, put a lot of hope in Prozac bridge. 

And now I'm crashing badly again.

Just could use some easier times, and I hope Fluoxetine updose will soon offer me this.

 

As always, This too shall pass ☀️

Edited by Erell

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Erell

Just a little gift from Brittany to thank you for your support ❤️

 

20200703_103120.jpg

Edited by Erell

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Gridley
37 minutes ago, Erell said:

Just a little gift

Thank you, Erell.  You live in a beautiful country.

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mustafa
On 7/2/2020 at 2:10 PM, Erell said:

Hello dears, 

 

and thank you for you sweet support ❤️ I really appreciate it and it helps me to hang on.

 

Baylissa Frderick books are not translated in French. But I sometimes read her website ;)

 

I'm absolutely certain that we all do heal, that's what helps me to hang on.

I read a lot Success Stories these days ;)

And I love visualising how good will life feel when I'll be drug free and healed ! I know I'll be able to deal with common emotions after this journey. 

I know it will get better ❤️

 

It's just very hard to hang on with strong neuroemotions and racing dark thoughts. And it has consequences on daily life : risk of loosing your job, financial issues, ... .

But you already know that.
Trying to build a safety plan (intesne SI) (grateful for the ressources I found in Sympomes and selfcare topic ❤️ )

Strong apathy, DR and DP (didn't recognise myself in the mirror this morning).

 

I'm a bit exhausted I think : I've struggled years to taper slowly benzos, then careful  Paroxetine taper.

And after a big crash, put a lot of hope in Prozac bridge. 

And now I'm crashing badly again.

Just could use some easier times, and I hope Fluoxetine updose will soon offer me this.

 

As always, This too shall pass ☀️

How inspiring your post is erell❤, I liked your words alot. This is the best thing I read today.

I also like your hope that fluoxetine bridge will work but what is better than this and that, is your strength erell; you are strong and will never be down ❤.

 

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Erell

Prozac bridge update : 

- crashed badly after a drop from 0.1mg Paroxetine to 0.06mg Paroxetine

- updosed Fluoxetine to 7mg a week ago

 

Since the Fluoxetine updose

 

- symptoms this last 2 weeks have been hard ( anxiety-dread / cortisol rushes / depression-suicidal). 

- since 3 days : anxiety-dread and agoraphobia are much lower (❤️). Depression/despair/SI are still very hard to bear but I have some moments calmer.

+ since 3 days, evenings are a bit calmer than the rest of the day. 

It's like if during the day I'm utterly unable to feel hope, pleasure, colours, but in the evenings I can feel some tiny bits.

 

I'm off work now for a month.

Also gonna spend some days to my parents house in order to protect myself from SI surges.

During the days I try to fill my mind with beauty and good humour (watching the seaside, watching comedies). I'm not really able to feel beauty or to laugh, but I try to feed my spirit.

I also practice mindfullness, but must confess that it is hard to stay in the present when the present is violent.

 

I have moments while I feel tempted with an updose to 8mg Fluoxetine.

 

I dont believe anymore in the imbalance theory, but considering that my body works with SSRI since 10-15 years, I wonder if my violent depressed symptoms come from a lack of serotonin recapture.

Or if I'm mistaken and this is just a matter of a destabilised CNS and a much more complex process.

In which case, an updose to 8mg could be a mistake because of a risk of kindling.

 

@Altostrata : doest it make sense ? Or does it sound like I'm still too influenced by psychiatry lies ?

(no emergency of course, just willing to learn)

 

 

Everybody, take care ❤️

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