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Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

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  • Mentor

Great idea, Erell--very resourceful!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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That's very nice of you, but I have to confess...I have a terrible English accent ūüėÖ¬† It's easier for me to write rather than speak : while writing, I have all the time I need to think, find a tra

Just a little¬†gift from Brittany to thank you for your support ‚̧ԳŹ ¬†

Hello dear friends,    I'm struggling with deep loneliness and even if friends were supportive first days, now that we are talking about months I can only notice that my phone doesn't ring a

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Salut @Erell

 

Tu es pleine de ressources, d'idées, de facultés d'adaptation, je suis impressionnée. 

Si forte d'arriver à marcher tous les jours. 

 

Et bien moi je n'ai pas de pinceau de maquillage mais il m'arrive de prendre une peluche, un nounours offert par une personne que j'aime beaucoup. C'est très enfantin, mais je m'en fiche. 

 

Bisousūüėė

 

 

 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

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  • Mentor

Dear Erell

Your spirit shines through this forum of kindness and encouragement towards others. 
I know you are having a hard time and my heart breaks for you. I can relate to being isolated and going this journey alone. You have so much resilience and courage, that one can only admire you. I also used my own hands to stroke my face, and a makeup brush is an excellent idea. I also used to say out loud comforting words to myself in hard times. Like I was listening to someone talking to me. These times call for all kinds of comfort and you are truly resourceful.

Remember your goal, see your self at the destination. You deserve to live as your own best self and remember that there is a reason why you entered this forum, you already know that you can do this.

 

Tough times don’t last

tough people do.


Hugs to youūüíĖ

 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

‚ÄúThe two most powerful warriors are patience and time‚ÄĚ Leo Tolstoy¬†

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√Črrel,

 

I’m thinking of you.  
 

My phone wants to call you Errol or Erello with an accent over the E.  I can erase the o, but not the accent.  Sorry.  
 

You are going a great job of caring for yourself.  It’s going to be worth it.

 

Rosetta

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
On 7/12/2020 at 9:00 PM, Altostrata said:

No, your switch to Prozac did not fail, there's every evidence it will work. You just need to find the right Prozac dosage.

 

Estimating how much Prozac to substitute is always tricky.

 

 

With the hope it might help folks in the future : 

 

Looking at my daily notes, I see that 7.5mg Fluoxetine might have been the right dosage. 

I was not doing good, but, for the first time since June, I was having easier and calmer moments : it lasted only a few minutes (1hour twice) but happened regularly ( 24/25/26/27/30/31 July).

 

As I was still struggling a lot with symptoms, I interpreted the pattern as a need of an updose in Fluoxetine dosage.

 

I now realise that my easier moments were probably a sign that I should have stayed on 7.5mg and be patient.

 

As Altostrata said, while in a crossover, estimating the amount is tricky.

(And I thank her for her support during these tricky decisions).

 

The tricky part of it led me to obsess about updoses in order to find the magic dose that would erase Paxil WD symptoms.

Doing that, I paid attention to symptoms instead of paying attention to the good signs.

 

In the desperate need to feel better, I've destabilised my CNS further, and the easier moments went away. All my fault, and I'm working on acceptance and not beating myself. 

 

WD lesson : even in a crossover, the need to do something to get better has to be taken very carefully.

And in a crossover, "more is not necessarily better" too.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Hi @Erell

 

Please dear Erell, don't feel guilty. 

Our reactions with antidepressants are so differents. It isn't your fault.

 

And don't forget.  All is not linear. 

 

You are so strong. Don't stop to believe in yourself. I believe in you. 

 

Bisous de r√©confort.¬†‚̧ԳŹ¬†

 

(Je ne sais pas si mon anglais est correct mais tu comprendras ce que j'ai voulu dire je pense) 

 

L. ;)

 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

How are you feeling on 7.75mg?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
41 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How are you feeling on 7.75mg?

 

It's only been a week.

 

Since going on 8mg, then 7.75mg, I'm feeling worse than on 7.5mg in the sense that I don't have moments of relief or oscillations.

 

- new symptom : obsessive thoughts/intrusive thoughts ( for example : I'm driving my car and suddenly I get the thought of going straight into other cars, or over the bridge.). + feeling of going crazy, loosing control.

I try to apply my mindfullness tips and just observe it, but it is distressing.

 

(Sleep is ok : I get around 5-6 hours)

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Yes, maybe 7.5mg would be better. Did you stop paroxetine?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator
9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, maybe 7.5mg would be better. Did you stop paroxetine?

 

No I didn't stop Paroxetine : I still take 0.03mg every morning at 7.30am.

 

Don't know how you still get the patience to help me during this never ending crossover. 

Hard to express all my gratitude.

 

All my requests and needs of reassurance makes me realise that I have a huge work to do before considering going off AD's in the future.

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

I would stop paroxetine, especially since it seems you're taking a bit too much fluoxetine.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator
Just now, Altostrata said:

I would stop paroxetine, especially since it seems you're taking a bit too much fluoxetine.

 

(Last question)

 

- stop Paroxetine and take 7.5mg Fluoxetine 

 

Or

 

- stop Paroxetine and take 7.75mg Fluoxetine?

 

(Sorry, foggy brain)

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Administrator
Altostrata
Just now, Erell said:

- stop Paroxetine and take 7.5mg Fluoxetine 

 

You could probably do both, since it will take a couple of weeks for the fluoxetine level to decline.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thinking of you E. Love Missy, hugs

MissyE

2008 Dec-Feb 2009 GP diazipam; Dec-Jun 2009 fluoxetine. 2010 Jan citalopram approx 4 weeks, Jan- Aug fluox, Oct-Jun 2011 paroxetine; Aug - Dec venlafaxine 37.5mg - 75mg. 2012 Mar-Jul reinstate ven 150mg; Aug swap to fluox 40mg (preg) - Mar 2013  reinstate ven 150mg. 2015 Nov swap to fluox 40mg (preg) Dec suicidal reinstated ven 300mg

2018 Jan ven "pooped" buspirone added/stopped; pentagablin added; March pent stopped & ven taper - 0 June; August betablockers started/ stopped; September mirtazapine 15mg and diazepam 2mg started/stopped; October ven 300mg reinstated. 

2019 Jan psychiatrist added mirt 15mg (aiming for "California rocket fuel" therapeutic dose).  No more meds: gradual taper mirt Feb-April (taken for < 3 weeks).

Commenced ven taper 5-10% 6-10 weekly 2019 April - Nov: 225mg.  Tapering 8 weekly in alignment with menstrual cycle 2020 Jan 212.5mg; Mar 200mg; Jun 187.5mg

Daily: 4g Omega 3 (3g epa & dha) 400IU vitamin E

2 puffs pulmicort inhaler.

This too shall pass.

 

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

You could probably do both, since it will take a couple of weeks for the fluoxetine level to decline.

 

Will do this morning. 

 

The fact that you still believe I can feel better and my switch will work is a huge helper to hang on.

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Mentor
Posted (edited)

@Erell

I have a gut feeling that getting rid of Paxil even for that tiny dose you had left will move you to stabilising. The further away I got from Paxil, the more I stabilised on fluoxetine. Well doneūüí™

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led around by the dreams in your heart .

Hugs my friend ūüíĖ

Edited by Hanna72


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

‚ÄúThe two most powerful warriors are patience and time‚ÄĚ Leo Tolstoy¬†

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sunnysideup69

Hello @Erell,

 

 

I have everything crossed for you. You already know it's likely to be bumpy. When I switched last year, it took a good four months for things to begin to settle, for example. 

 

This last few months is a glitch in the proceedings. 

 

Sending a big hug xxx

 

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Hello dears, 

 

thank you for the warm words :)

 

@Hanna72¬†: I love your gut feeling ūüėɬ†

I remember that you once told me that you felt better 2 weeks after stopping Paroxetine, so, even if everyone's journey is different (and you were on 20mg Prozac), it helps¬† me greatly ‚̧ԳŹ¬†

 

Symptoms are really strong : intense dread, feelings lije going crazy, doom feelings, no color or pleasure, strong 'lugubrious' feelings, dark cloud, mostly housebound.

I try to 'selfcare' as much as possible : relaxation, puzzles, walking at least once everyday, ...

I don't have any impact on the feelings so I try my best to accept them.

I however manage sometimes to impact my thoughts with distraction : walking and cleaning being my best tips ! Grateful for being able to move my body.

And when my mind runs to catastophize thinking, I usually say out loud a strong "not going there".

 

Things are very hard, but I keep on hanging on to hope ‚ėÄÔłŹ

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Longroadhome

Thinking of you Erell 

you have been so brave really hope this works for you 
sending healing vibes your way 

take care 

 

 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
On 7/30/2020 at 6:18 PM, Altostrata said:

You can take little boosters of paroxetine by dipping a toothpick in the liquid. This may help you get over the rough patch.

 Might try this tomorrow morning.

(Feeling highly agitated, loosing ground).

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Hi dear Erell,

I’m so sorry you are struggling these days. You are so brave and positive, I’m sure you will get through. I hope your intrusive thoughts are lessening, for me this is far the worst symptom I have! I know our thoughts aren’t fact, but it is so hard to not believe them.

 

You said something in one of your last post: 

¬ę All my requests and needs of reassurance¬†makes me realise that I have a huge work to do before considering going off AD's in the future ¬Ľ


But you have to remember, when we are in bad waves, our thoughts lie to us. They are telling us this big lie that we won’t make it. But when we are feeling better, in windows,  we know that we will make it, we don’t need reassurance anymore. Until the next wave.

 

Je suis certaine que tu vas √™tre capable de te passer d‚ÄôAD, on a tous nos moments o√Ļ on se sent comme une petite fille perdue qui a besoin de se faire redire que tout va bien aller. Il ne faut pas trop se fier sur ces moments l√†¬†¬†pour juger de notre capacit√© √† vivre sans¬†AD.¬†


I’m sure you will make it, like everyone else here. We will be able and one day, we gonna be very proud of ourselves! On sabrera le champagne!

 

So take care of you, dear Erell!

 

Anne-Marie

 


 

2008-2019: various ADs at various doses, initially for anxiety related insomnia.

2015-2018: Pristiq 50mg and Mirtazapine 30mg. Switched Pristiq to Venlafaxine.

2019-01: Stopped Venlafaxine after a 10 months taper. Updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

Summer 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine. Sept 2019, down to 30mg, hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg.

Tried escitalopram 10mg, C/T after 4 weeks. Tried Buspar, C/T after 5 days.

Jan 2020: Second mirtazapine weaning attempt, but end of january, big wave of symptoms, updose to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: 50mg quetiapineXR, CT after 2 weeks. 21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Quetiapine 25mg and Lorazepam 0.5mg PRN since may 2019, March 2020 stopped both.

Mirtazapine taper: 2020-10-21 43.88mg, 10-28 42.75mg, 11-04 41.63mg, 11-11 40.5mg, 11-24 41.6mg.

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, Melatonin2mg, Probiotic.

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sunnysideup69

@Erell, I'm also thinking that dropping the P will lead you towards stability. 

 

You're doing amazingly well, this hasn't been an easy shift so far. But you've come a LONG way.

Hugs xx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

I thank you deeply, your words mean a lot ‚̧

 

Took a Paroxetine booster this morning with a toothpick.

 

Considerably worsening since few days : I'm now bedbound in terror but with high restlessness / walking into my flat but intense dread as soon as I quit my bed. Need to shake my body. 

Don't manage to distract. "Physiological" terror.

Trying to see these feelings as CNS adjustments work.

 

Could be Paroxetine acute WD/kindling/too much changes in Fluoxetine updose. No way to know.

 

I'm having a really hard time.

Back into acute days exactly one year later.

Battle fatigue.

 

Trying to take it one minute at a time. 

 

Hoping for some relief¬† ‚̧

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
Longroadhome

@Erell

 

as you say there’s no way of knowing . There are three things it could be as you have observed. The good thing is the answer/solution to all three is the same . Hold wait and stabilise. 
maybe it’s time to do this ? 
really rooting for you Erell you’re an inspiration to so many,  a good kind thoughtful person . 
 

read the thread by Mirage . Not on Paxil like us but went up and down on doses initially.  has since stabilised happy and getting on with living . 
 

hold tight. ūüĆą¬†
 

 

 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post

Oh my dear @Erell - I am holding you in my heart. You do so much for so many, I wish there was more I could do for you. I will keeping hoping with all my heart for your stabilization.

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg, which caused increased anxiety and depression.
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

Oct 24, 2020 - start brassmonkey taper with 2.5% reduction; current: 4.9 mgai/6.7 mgpw

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Rhiannon

Hello Erell, I have been catching up with your adventures. Sounds like you're going through a tough time now. Just remember, if you can, if you can hang in there you will stabilize, but it can take a while. You have grown so much in wisdom, I probably don't need to tell you anything. But I am thinking of you.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
18 minutes ago, Rhiannon said:

Hello Erell, I have been catching up with your adventures. Sounds like you're going through a tough time now. Just remember, if you can, if you can hang in there you will stabilize, but it can take a while. You have grown so much in wisdom, I probably don't need to tell you anything. But I am thinking of you.

¬†Oh wow ! How nice it is to hear from you ūü§ó

 

How are you doing ?

 

Well, yes, since Paroxetine stock out I'm living quite an adventure !

 

I'm actually weighting the pros and the cons of a low dose of Diazepam (maybe 1mg).

Not with pleasure. But family have seen me extremely agitated and now want to inpatient me.

I know how things work in France, so the risk is to end with more drugs and heavy amounts.

 

I know too well that there cant be quick fixes, but if Diazepam could alleviate a bit of terror/agitation I could avoid more harm.

 

Well, not a nice place, but I'm trying my best to remain focus on hope :)

 

I hope you're doing ok ūüėô

 

 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post

Hi my dear @Erell

 

So sad to see that it is really difficult for you.  But you are strong. 

 

What help me sometimes with strong agitation and so terrible internal akathisia is to scream and banging on my mattress. Some  people likes punching ball too. But impossible for me with my aches. 

 

Last days I watched  TV shows. (Je  parle de séries, je pense que la traduction n'est pas bonne. Ce sont des séries dans des univers fantastiques.) Very good to change of channel. 

It helped me too.

 

I have written a lot too. 

 

Akathisia and emotional spirals are a little bit less strong. 

 

Courage. Tu es une wonder woman, une vraie ! ;)

 

Je t'embrasse. Toutes mes pens√©es.¬†‚̧ԳŹ

 

L ;)ūüėė

 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

(Trigger warning)

 

@Altostrata , @Shep :

 

I might try a low dose of Diazepam this evening : in addition to terror and restlessness, I'm feeling rage and the need to knock on something or somebody. Tried to take a walk outside but came back to my flat because I'm too scared to hurt somebody. 

I've never had such thoughts/feelings.

I try to observe and not identify but I think my agitation is too high.

 

I know that SA isn't about adding new drugs but I was wondering if you would accept to help me with a guess about possible dose ? Maybe 0.25mg or 0.5mg ?

 

Trying to protect my life and avoid inpatienting (family wish) which would mean more drugs/harm.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
  • Moderator
brassmonkey

Hi Erell-- periods of intense rage can be quite terrifying to go through because you feel like you can't trust yourself not to act. Been there, done that quite a lot. At my worst times I found that isolation was the best answer. It never had to last too long, usually several hours, but getting away from everyone and every thing and letting the rage burn itself out in a "safe" location really helped. When isolated it was easier to think about nothing, be totally in the moment and allow the rage burn out and drop away. My rage attacks like this frequently had a build period over several days that would start with some innocuous event that triggers a spiral of thoughts. Those thoughts were barely perceptible and seemed easy to control but would persist and grow over time and get retriggered again and again until they exploded.

 

Over time I learned to recognize the pattern, learned the triggers, and did a lot of changing the channel, walking away from situations and keeping to myself. I had to go through it more times than I would have liked , but over time the rage attacks became weaker and more manageable. I can't downplay the drugs involvement in the situation, because it is a large component, but knowing that helps to gain control. The drugs can weaken our inner strength  and resolve to do whats right for us and cause us to act out, but in the end acting on or displaying the rage is a personal choice that is often not necessary, being an outward expression of our inner fear, frustration and anxiety.

 

Temporary isolation allows us to drop everything and not "feel" while in a safe environment. Dropping the thoughts and feelings allows the body to relax, regroup and center itself. It's similar to self imposed anhedonia, but it goes beyond that. It sound weird, but it is a state of "not thinking about, not thinking about things", just letting the mind and body go blank and letting it think and feel nothing. It's one of those things that can't be taught, only learned. When it happens you'll know it and can remember it so with practice it will grow.

 

It is best to respect rage attacks because the consequences can be far reaching, but don't fear them. We know they are partly caused by our bodies reactions to the drugs, but there is a large component that can come under our control and in time we will rule it.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Very low, Erell.

 

Have you seen any changes since you reduced 0.25mg?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Very low, Erell.

 

Have you seen any changes since you reduced 0.25mg?

 

- Before 8 August : anxiety and depression around 6 out of 10. Oscillations : easier moments.

- 8 August : very high restlesness. Mentally and physically agitated. Anxiety around 7 out of 10. 

- Since 15 August : restlesness/anxiety/doom/agitation increase every day. Now at 8/9 out of ten. (Reduced 0.25mg on 16 August)

Symptoms getting worse.

 

About Diazepam  : I resisted the urge for now.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
  • Moderator

I feel like I'm loosing ground because of so intense inner restlessness and dread.

 

I try to stay connected by using mindfullness tips and trying to connect with my Breath.

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

My guess is it's too much fluoxetine. I would reduce to 7.25mg.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator
Just now, Altostrata said:

My guess is it's too much fluoxetine. I would reduce to 7.25mg.

 

Thank you for sharing your guess. 

 

I was thinking it was maybe too much dose changes/kindling. Or acute Paxil WD.

 

So you still think I might succeed this switch despite worsening symptoms ?

I'm in a quite dark place and even if I try my best to not listen to doom thinking I must  confess that I struggle to remain rationnal.

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Fluoxetine takes weeks to ramp up. You might be feeling the effect -- activation -- of the increase to 8mg now. Subsequent decreases haven't brought the blood level of the drug down enough.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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