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Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

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  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Erell said:

I try to convince myself that my previous improvements are a good sign.

I also tell myself that after this nasty wave I might see a beautiful window.

That's the kind of story I tell myself to stay strong ☺ 

 

Bonjour, Erell

 

When you're in a serious wave, this is what you need to hang onto--that you've had windows so you know you can recover.  I know how discouraging it can be when you think you're on a steady recovery path and then you hit a wall, but walls are meant to be climbed!  And you know we're all sending positive thoughts your way!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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sunnysideup69

Hey @Erell,

You don't sound negative, to be honest. I think you're being realistic and also showing great positivity because you know how to inspire yourself to keep going. 

Yes, you will recover from a switch, I really believe that. It took me a good year from my switch and my nervous system is still sensitised, but when I look back at a year ago, things are so much better in terms of mood and ability to cope with life. This is coming for you, too. Yes, there are still waves, but they are not knocking me off my feet any more. 

Keep facing forwards, gal 😊

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Erell said:

I was able to drive, to sleep, to laugh a bit, to read a book...!

 

Oh my sweet and incredibly strong @Erell - Though you are struggling now, I know with all my heart that you are healing. You've had nice improvements, with more to come I am certain. Plus you should know that your positive and compassionate spirit is much, much stronger than these chemicals.

 

Just be kind to yourself as you are to so many of us here. And try to keep your focus on the positive, on the vision of you dancing and singing and loving.

 

It is really sunny and warm here in the Vaucluse and I plan to go out (with my attestation) and pick some wild flowers for you! Breath deep and you will smell some wild thyme and rosemary mixed in.

 

Sending healing hugs 🤗!

 

 

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg, which caused increased anxiety and depression.
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

Oct 24, 2020 - start brassmonkey taper with 2.5% reduction; current: 4.9 mgai/6.7 mgpw

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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  • Moderator
brassmonkey

I was just talking with Aberdeen a few weeks ago. She had quite the struggle with her taper, but is doing very well now. I'm glad you find her story inspiring.

 

Being in the middle of a taper is no fun at all.  The way it can change from good to bad over night for no particular reason, but every wave is followed by a window and the windows keep getting bigger and better. Hold tight, things will improve.

 

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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10 hours ago, Erell said:

 

My dailynotes show that I've seen nice improvements at the beginning of October. I was able to drive, to sleep, to laugh a bit, to read a book...!

This is absolutely a definite sign of healing.  There's no question about it.  If you've had a window like this, that means that more are coming.  That's way it works.  

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020 Begin 6-week Ativan-Valium crossover.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Mentor

Dear @Erell

I am so glad to hear that you are having some improvements. 
Like Gridley stated it’s with out a doubt a sign of healing.

I know we want more, I have for sure been there, still am.

I have no doubt in my mind that you will heal, and stabilise. Never doubt yourself, if a thought goes there, distract and throw that thought away. 
You are more then capable of coming out of this. 
There is nothing selfish about that you feel less pressure and are using the lock down in France to your advantage. In fact I look at it as a clever move ( thought 😉)

I have sometimes looked at this journey as playing chess. Before every move you kind of are aware of the end outcome ( if that makes any sense) 

I for one jumped off at .9 mg when the panademic started in March. I used the situation knowing that everything would slow down so I could deal better with my anxiety.


Focus on your goal 

don’t look in any other direction 

but ahead 💪


Come on girl I know you can do it

Hugs my friend 💖

 


2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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  • Moderator

Wanted to echo recent Altostrata's post :

 

"Bringing this to everyone's attention again --

 

This is such a vital community because members help each other. It wouldn't be what it is without that mutual kindness and attention.

 

One of the things that's very important to each person here is knowing that healing is possible. Please don't just go away when you feel better! "Pay it forward" by updating your Intro topic with your progress and come back to post your success story when you are finally clear of all those awful symptoms.

 

Nothing is more valuable to the community than seeing how recovery happens. You have lots of people hoping you'll get better. Please let them know when you do"

 

Yes positive updates are very, very important for our community! Healing does happen, let's share it !

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Longroadhome

You are right @Erell it’s so important to hear success stories to know that no matter what we do heal . 
it’s important for those that have healed to write their story . Though each of us are different in the process of recovery and symptoms may vary the outcome is the same . Recovery . There’s nothing more reassuring . 
How are you ? 
 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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I’m so glad you have seen improvements!  Yea!
💜Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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sunnysideup69

Totally agree, @Erell - hope you're doing okay ❤️ 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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  • Moderator

Hello dears !

 

Well, it's been around three months of holding everything steady : time for an update, right ? :)

 

First, let me apologise : we are a peer support community, and yet I don't really offer any support lately. 

It seems that I can't come here without scaring myself. And I don't want to feed my mind with catastrophizing thoughts, negative expectations, etc. So I focus on positivity and optismitic expectations and often only come here to read my favourite Success Stories.

And it seems that I'm discovering the amazing world of what people call DR/DP : lately I've felt strongly disconnected, living in a dream and sometimes it is hard for me to know who I am, if I'm in the real world, what is real, bla bla bla .. so it is often really hard to relate to things or people.

 

BUT, I think I'm slowly getting better 🤞

 

October has been rough : my periods brought a very nasty wave (you can see in my previous posts how much I needed to do something ;) ), and I felt some relief during 3 days and then ..bim periods came back again and brought on a new wave.

Anxiety, DR, poor sleep, headaches, intrusive thoughts, doom feelings, ...and the list goes on.

 

BUT, it seems that my current wave is easier and I notice good signs

 

- I feel less restless than last wave

- Even if I'm struggling with high anxiety, the "high" feels a bit less "high" than in October

- Intrusive thoughts feel less strong, and I'm not scared to be in the kitchen like I used to be

 

Life is still challenging and I'm still unemployed, living with my parents and not feeling able to do much. I must confess that I'm a bit scared to not be able to get my life back on track. I know I should not listen to these thoughts. You know, the classic "what if it doesn't get better, what if i'll never be able to work again, ...".

So, still working on redirecting my thoughts ;)

 

What a journey ! Yes I'm scared to never feel "good" again, or able to do "normal" things. 
But instead of dwelling on my fears, let me share two nice stories

 

- the other day, I went to walk with my mum ( positive side of this mess : my mum thanked me because she saw me forcing myself to take a walk everyday and it motivate her to do the same, but that's another story !). As we both have absolutely no sense of direction but strongly believe we do, we lost ourselves in the forest and walked 2 hours instead of 45 minutes. No need to say how exhausted I was, and I was convinced that it was going to cost me a lot of restlessness for the rest of the day. 
Well it did not, and I actually spent a relatively ok afternoon and evening after that. Progress 💪

 

- last week, during one evening, while we were eating dinner we heard strong explosions, then saw a big fire through the window. It turns out it was our neigbor's tractor that exploded : the firefighters worked very well and it was over after half an hour.
But, as I'm already in a constant hypervigilant state, you can guess how much adrenaline I had in my body. I was as restless as the cat, and the cat was mounting and descending stairs over and over ;)
I'm pretty sure that some weeks ago it would have been impossible to sleep after that event. 

It took me a while to calm down, and it wasn't a great night, but I manage to slow down gradually and to fall asleep. And that is definitely progress to me 💪

 

Wow this was a very long update ! For those who don't want to read it, here is the short version : I'm struggling and getting tired of this journey, but I really do believe that I'm getting better !

Again, big thank you for your support. I really do appreciate it ❤️

 

I send hugs to all folks who will read this : let's stay strong and optimistic ❤️ 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Moderator
7 minutes ago, Erell said:

yet I don't really offer any support lately. 

You just offered me some very welcome support.  Just know you're there is comfort.

 

The walk in the first and the tractor stories show real healing.  Your CNS is definitely more resilient than before.

 

So does the high anxiety being less high.

 

You are getting better, Erell.

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020 Begin 6-week Ativan-Valium crossover.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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street129
41 minutes ago, Erell said:

Hello dears !

 

Well, it's been around three months of holding everything steady : time for an update, right ? :)

 

First, let me apologise : we are a peer support community, and yet I don't really offer any support lately. 

It seems that I can't come here without scaring myself. And I don't want to feed my mind with catastrophizing thoughts, negative expectations, etc. So I focus on positivity and optismitic expectations and often only come here to read my favourite Success Stories.

And it seems that I'm discovering the amazing world of what people call DR/DP : lately I've felt strongly disconnected, living in a dream and sometimes it is hard for me to know who I am, if I'm in the real world, what is real, bla bla bla .. so it is often really hard to relate to things or people.

 

BUT, I think I'm slowly getting better 🤞

 

October has been rough : my periods brought a very nasty wave (you can see in my previous posts how much I needed to do something ;) ), and I felt some relief during 3 days and then ..bim periods came back again and brought on a new wave.

Anxiety, DR, poor sleep, headaches, intrusive thoughts, doom feelings, ...and the list goes on.

 

BUT, it seems that my current wave is easier and I notice good signs

 

- I feel less restless than last wave

- Even if I'm struggling with high anxiety, the "high" feels a bit less "high" than in October

- Intrusive thoughts feel less strong, and I'm not scared to be in the kitchen like I used to be

 

Life is still challenging and I'm still unemployed, living with my parents and not feeling able to do much. I must confess that I'm a bit scared to not be able to get my life back on track. I know I should not listen to these thoughts. You know, the classic "what if it doesn't get better, what if i'll never be able to work again, ...".

So, still working on redirecting my thoughts ;)

 

What a journey ! Yes I'm scared to never feel "good" again, or able to do "normal" things. 
But instead of dwelling on my fears, let me share two nice stories

 

- the other day, I went to walk with my mum ( positive side of this mess : my mum thanked me because she saw me forcing myself to take a walk everyday and it motivate her to do the same, but that's another story !). As we both have absolutely no sense of direction but strongly believe we do, we lost ourselves in the forest and walked 2 hours instead of 45 minutes. No need to say how exhausted I was, and I was convinced that it was going to cost me a lot of restlessness for the rest of the day. 
Well it did not, and I actually spent a relatively ok afternoon and evening after that. Progress 💪

 

- last week, during one evening, while we were eating dinner we heard strong explosions, then saw a big fire through the window. It turns out it was our neigbor's tractor that exploded : the firefighters worked very well and it was over after half an hour.
But, as I'm already in a constant hypervigilant state, you can guess how much adrenaline I had in my body. I was as restless as the cat, and the cat was mounting and descending stairs over and over ;)
I'm pretty sure that some weeks ago it would have been impossible to sleep after that event. 

It took me a while to calm down, and it wasn't a great night, but I manage to slow down gradually and to fall asleep. And that is definitely progress to me 💪

 

Wow this was a very long update ! For those who don't want to read it, here is the short version : I'm struggling and getting tired of this journey, but I really do believe that I'm getting better !

Again, big thank you for your support. I really do appreciate it ❤️

 

I send hugs to all folks who will read this : let's stay strong and optimistic ❤️ 

 

Hi I'm street

It was a beautiful enjoyable story,  Most parts of your story I can relate to.  You're doing wonderful.

JOINED THIS BOARD AUGUST 27, 2017

 

 

250mg trazodone

250mg   Aug 21, 2017  tapering before I found SA

200mg -  Aug 21, 2017 to Aug 25, 2017 tapering before found SA

225mg -  Aug 26, 2017  updose holding

November 26, 2017. I reinstated my original dose of 250mg  trazodone..planning on holding for a very long time. No more withdrawal

June 14, 2020  at 10% 507  My first start of my trazodone 250mg  taper

6/16/20  90 mgai    7/26/20   81 mgai    9/6/20  72 mg ai 10/17/20- updose to 77 mgai  11/11/20- updose to 81 mgai  

 

 

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3 hours ago, Erell said:

But, as I'm already in a constant hypervigilant state, you can guess how much adrenaline I had in my body. I was as restless as the cat, and the cat was mounting and descending stairs over and over

I totally understand about this!!! Thought we had a real shooter in our school about a month ago. I couldn't calm down AT ALL that day!! Luckily I was seeing my EMDR therapist that night...and am much calmer about loud noises and things like that.

So, I totally understand about that part! 

Seems like you are doing better!!!

2005 Started Antidepressants to help with sleep

2005-2017 on and off Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro, and others that I can't remember

2017 Lexapro 10 mg

2018 Jan-Tried getting off lexapro. (within about a 4-6 week period) 

2018 March- Got back on Lexapro 10mg

2018 June Switched to Wellbutrin. (don't remember dosage)

2018 August Switched to Sertraline. 25 mg, 50, 75, then back down to 50 

2019 October Off Sertraline 

2019 December...back on Sertraline 25 mg 

2020 January-got back on Lexapro 5 mg

2020 March-current Lexapro 10 mg

2020 November currently switching to liquid Lexapro to begin taper

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@Erell good to hear that you're a little better, you will healing i'm so sure about that, because you're so positiv even when you walk throught the storm 👏👏

June 25 - July 8, 2020 - 2 weeks on Brintellix, suffered an adverse reaction.

 

25 juin - 8 juillet 2020-2 semaines sur Brintellix, a subi un effet indésirable.

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Hi Erell! I’m sorry October brought a wave... but you’re now a wave closer to healing, yay!
 

And you’ll definitely be able to work and live a normal and happy life once this is over! Don’t let the withdrawal thoughts lie to you. Plus once you’ve gone through this you’ll be so strong, and everything will seem like a joke compared to what you’ve gone through. Withdrawal makes you a warrior!

 

I also have DR and I find it helpful not to focus, think or obsess over it. Just let it be.  A withdrawal buddie told me that DP/DR is your body trying to protect you, and looking at it like that helps :) 

 

I’m glad you’re seeing improvements! Sending strength and healing ❤️

 

•august 2016- feb 2019: on and off SSRIs (fluoxetine and agomelatine) also unknown drug and clonazepam for a short amount of time 

_________________________________________________________

•January 25 2020: 50mg of setraline and clonazepam 1mg 

•March 2020: increase to 100mg of setraline

•May 2020:  stopped setraline, fast tapper 3 weeks. stopped clonazepam, according to how my psychiatrists told me. 

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Oh, that’s a good update!!  The period thing! Ugh!  I deal with that, too.  I’m glad those two incidents didn’t bother you the way they would have before - a very good sign, indeed.  
 

Once you get used to DP/DR, it is not as scary.  It’s always bizarre, but you will lose some of the fear.  It’s just odd.  I used to feel as if there were a thick, plate-glass window between me and the world — the kind in enormous aquariums.  That happened when I looked at trees.  There was no magnification.  I could not pinpoint why I felt that way.  The world seemed two dimensional, but not quite.  It was impossible to adequately describe.  Maybe it had to do with sunlight?  Or shadows?  It was a “feeling” rather than a visual experience.  No more.  That never happens now.  It was so disconcerting.  Eventually, I realized that it could not hurt me; it did not mean I was insane.  It was harmless except for the fear it caused.
 

Enjoy a break from the more intense anxiety.  I’m glad you wrote it down, too.  That is important.  You will forget.  I hope you get a long break.  When I complain about feeling lethargic and anhedonic, I forget to be grateful that I am feeling something different than fear.  I forget that it’s a lesser anxiety.  We get so tired of there being impediments to our ability to “live a full life,” no?  It’s helpful to have your optimism.  This will end someday, and you will have a new lease on life.  
 

💜Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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@Rosetta ....made me tear up. 

11 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 I forget to be grateful that I am feeling something different than fear.  I forget that it’s a lesser anxiety.  We get so tired of there being impediments to our ability to “live a full life,” no?  It’s helpful to have your optimism.  This will end someday, and you will have a new lease on life.  

I LOVE this!!! I am so ready to not have this "fear" that I have never had before!!  I really enjoyed reading your whole post. Thanks for the words!!!

And I probably should know this, but what does DP/DR mean? 

 

2005 Started Antidepressants to help with sleep

2005-2017 on and off Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro, and others that I can't remember

2017 Lexapro 10 mg

2018 Jan-Tried getting off lexapro. (within about a 4-6 week period) 

2018 March- Got back on Lexapro 10mg

2018 June Switched to Wellbutrin. (don't remember dosage)

2018 August Switched to Sertraline. 25 mg, 50, 75, then back down to 50 

2019 October Off Sertraline 

2019 December...back on Sertraline 25 mg 

2020 January-got back on Lexapro 5 mg

2020 March-current Lexapro 10 mg

2020 November currently switching to liquid Lexapro to begin taper

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getofflex
On 9/9/2020 at 6:49 AM, Erell said:

Thank you Mustafa, Mimi79, Rosetta, Hannah and Cigale ❤️

I would like to answer in details to your nice words, I don't manage to do it today, so I'll try later.

Wish you all a bright day and some sweet fresh air on your face ☀️

 

As you know, gardening is one of my favourite "changing the channel" tips, so here is my little hug from Brittany for all dear folks :

 

639992161_20200831_195320-ConvertImage(1).thumb.jpg.302b0c9d22eed0b206ed0230f4aae20b.jpg

 

I love this!  I'm also a gardener, and have seen all kinds of strange carrots from my garden. This also shows how our brains become intertwined with the psych meds.  

Lexapro   April02 - Aug17: 10 mg,  ***  Aug17 - Sept17: 5 mg ***  Sept17 - Nov17:  2.5 mg,  ***  Nov17: 0 mg, ***   Dec17 - Aug18: 5 mg  ***    Aug/1/18 - Aug/30/18: 2.5 mg     *** Sep/1/18 - Sep/27/18:  1.25 mg. ***   Sep/28/18 - Oct/31/18:  2.5 mg,  ***  Nov/1/18 - Nov/15/18: 1.25 mg  ***   Nov/16/18 - Nov/30/18: 2.5 mg  ***   Dec/1/18 - Dec/27/18: 2.0 mg (switched to liquid)  ***    Dec/27/18 - Jan/31/19: 1.5 mg ***    Feb/1/19 - Feb/20/19: 1.0 mg  ***  Feb/21/19 - Mar/7/19: 0.5 mg  ***  Mar/8/19 - May/03/19: 0.8 mg ***   May/04/19 - May/13/19 0.7 mg ***  May/14/19 - May/24/19 0.6 mg *** May/25/19 - June/05/19. 0.5 mg *** June/06/19 - July/19/19 0.4 mg. ***  July/20/19 - Sep 14 2019 0.3 mg.  ***  Sep 15 2019 - Oct 21 2019 0.27 mg. *** Oct 22 2019 - Jan 18 2020 - 0.23 mg. *** Jan 19 2020 - April 1 2020 0.2 mg  ***  April 2 2020 - July 15 2020 0.18 mg *** July 16 2020 - August 22 0.17 mg, August 23 -- Oct 6 0.16 mg, Oct 7 - Nov 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - present 0.14

Trazodone.  used 50 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, have discontinued altogether as of 12/23/19

Xanax. used 0.5 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, have discontinued altogether as of 12/23/19 

When I cannot go to sleep, I take Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mag. in AM 1/2 hour before breakfast with 24 ounces water

supplements AM: omega 3 fish oil, flax seed oil, natural multivitamin, vitamin C, vitamin E

supplements PM: Natural Calm magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, 5-HTP 50 mg. Estroven Sleep Cool and Calm (contains black cohosh 40 mg, soy isoflavones 56 mg) melatonin 3 mg

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getofflex
On 11/18/2020 at 11:53 AM, Erell said:

Hello dears !

 

Well, it's been around three months of holding everything steady : time for an update, right ? :)

 

First, let me apologise : we are a peer support community, and yet I don't really offer any support lately. 

It seems that I can't come here without scaring myself. And I don't want to feed my mind with catastrophizing thoughts, negative expectations, etc. So I focus on positivity and optismitic expectations and often only come here to read my favourite Success Stories.

And it seems that I'm discovering the amazing world of what people call DR/DP : lately I've felt strongly disconnected, living in a dream and sometimes it is hard for me to know who I am, if I'm in the real world, what is real, bla bla bla .. so it is often really hard to relate to things or people.

 

BUT, I think I'm slowly getting better 🤞

 

............

 

Hello Ettrel, you have an incredibly strong and positive attitude!  That is the way to do this.  It is a very difficult and long process, but keeping a good attitude is going to get you through the tough times.  Keep up the good work!  You will make it!  Jennifer 

Lexapro   April02 - Aug17: 10 mg,  ***  Aug17 - Sept17: 5 mg ***  Sept17 - Nov17:  2.5 mg,  ***  Nov17: 0 mg, ***   Dec17 - Aug18: 5 mg  ***    Aug/1/18 - Aug/30/18: 2.5 mg     *** Sep/1/18 - Sep/27/18:  1.25 mg. ***   Sep/28/18 - Oct/31/18:  2.5 mg,  ***  Nov/1/18 - Nov/15/18: 1.25 mg  ***   Nov/16/18 - Nov/30/18: 2.5 mg  ***   Dec/1/18 - Dec/27/18: 2.0 mg (switched to liquid)  ***    Dec/27/18 - Jan/31/19: 1.5 mg ***    Feb/1/19 - Feb/20/19: 1.0 mg  ***  Feb/21/19 - Mar/7/19: 0.5 mg  ***  Mar/8/19 - May/03/19: 0.8 mg ***   May/04/19 - May/13/19 0.7 mg ***  May/14/19 - May/24/19 0.6 mg *** May/25/19 - June/05/19. 0.5 mg *** June/06/19 - July/19/19 0.4 mg. ***  July/20/19 - Sep 14 2019 0.3 mg.  ***  Sep 15 2019 - Oct 21 2019 0.27 mg. *** Oct 22 2019 - Jan 18 2020 - 0.23 mg. *** Jan 19 2020 - April 1 2020 0.2 mg  ***  April 2 2020 - July 15 2020 0.18 mg *** July 16 2020 - August 22 0.17 mg, August 23 -- Oct 6 0.16 mg, Oct 7 - Nov 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - present 0.14

Trazodone.  used 50 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, have discontinued altogether as of 12/23/19

Xanax. used 0.5 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, have discontinued altogether as of 12/23/19 

When I cannot go to sleep, I take Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mag. in AM 1/2 hour before breakfast with 24 ounces water

supplements AM: omega 3 fish oil, flax seed oil, natural multivitamin, vitamin C, vitamin E

supplements PM: Natural Calm magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, 5-HTP 50 mg. Estroven Sleep Cool and Calm (contains black cohosh 40 mg, soy isoflavones 56 mg) melatonin 3 mg

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On 11/18/2020 at 6:53 PM, Erell said:

I really do believe that I'm getting better !

 

You are so strong my dear @Erell and your positive mindset will see you through. And you have supported me so much throughout your challenges. You are an amazing and inspiring soul. Sending you healing hugs!

 

2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg, which caused increased anxiety and depression.
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

Oct 24, 2020 - start brassmonkey taper with 2.5% reduction; current: 4.9 mgai/6.7 mgpw

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Dear @Erell, you are definitely healing, these are all really good signs! I'm so happy for you, sending you big hugs. Walking is amazing for healing, also.

xxxxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also currently reducing caffeine, aiming to get off.

 

 

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