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Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

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getofflex

@erell, I get this very same symptom, and have been for many years, long before AD WD.  I have been diagnosed with nonallergic rhinitis, which just means that my sinus passages get irritated, and not because of allergies.  There can be other stuff in the air, or post nasal drip, or even dry air that can cause this to happen.  My only remedy is to cough and drink fluids.  Good luck.  Jennifer 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

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Just a little gift from Brittany to thank you for your support ❤️  

@Erell   I'm sorry you went through this.  As longroadhome said, these experiences are listed as part of withdrawal.  These drugs can cause very strange experiences.  I just wanted to give y

During WD and recovery, we all reach a point where we've just had enough.  We can't take one more day of anxiety or fear or aches or sleeplessness.  I had many days like that. But each moment offers a

@Erell I believe your ticklish itching probably is associated with wd . Yes we can develop allergies at different times in our lives - and it is a possibility!  
 

Like longroadhome, I came off Paxil ( after being on it for 13 years) to way fast in 2013 and had a lot of withdrawals and dr started me on Zoloft . I started itching everywhere. I thought it was soap or laundry soap. And I was having anxiety so it was freaking me out a little 😁. A day or so later red spots came up on my skin on my arms. I went to hospital and emergency dr knew it was related to Paxil. He was smart but His statement was “ sometimes you have to take a vacation from antidepressants “ it wasn’t funny then but now I look back and say how funny! Like what does that mean for me to do ! I know now it was from wd! 
 

now like getofflex said I too have sinus issues from allergy and non allergies!  So the antihistamine effects of antidepressants affect me a lot in good ways and bad ways! I have made my life more stressful by chasing drs for these sinus related Paxil/ lexapro side effects so I don’t even go anymore. 
 

as it is alarming to you rt now it won’t hurt you. Try clearing your throat and drinking fluids. 
hang in there erell it will pass! 

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml, 05/29/2021 8 ml, 

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@Longroadhome, @getofflex @mstimc and @Heath : thank you ❤️ for your support 

 

It's amazing how reassuring it can be to realise that people know exactly what we are going through right ? :)
Thank you for sharing your experience !

 

And like you said, people can start to have allergies at any time in their life.
 

I know that sometimes people with anxiety have issues to breath. People with asthma are also used to some shortness of breath.
In my case, it is the first time of my life that I've discovered issues to breath, and it has felt quite distressing.

I've never had health anxiety issues, but I think now I can understand what some folks are talking about ;)

 

My sinus don't seem to be affected, I just have issues with my throat.
A member named Rabe also pointed to me that it may be caused by acid reflux, which could also totally make sense.

I'm gonna keep going with low histamine diet/ use honey, fluids/ avoiding foods that seems to cause intense reflux/ and see if I find "gentle" way to take care of my throat affected by acid reflux.

And we'll see how it goes :)

 

Again, thank you, and big hugs !

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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@Erell I believe you are onto something there !!!! Anxiety =causes acid reflux then irritate throat !!

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml, 05/29/2021 8 ml, 

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SeekingMeaning
On 2/24/2021 at 4:18 PM, Erell said:

Update 

10 months since Prozac Bridge

6 months holding at 7mg Prozac

 

Hello dear folks

 

I'm currently dealing with a weird symptoms and was wondering if I'm missing something or if someone might have tips.

 

It started this winter suddenly my throat tickles intensely and inhaling intensify the tickles.

It can wake me up during the night, or happens during the day.

My throat isn't painful, and I don't have a lump in my throat.

It just tickles and makes it difficult to inhale.

It seems to come in windows and waves.

 

Covid tests : negatives.

I don't smoke.

Doctors think it might be allergy, or "in my head".

 

I know that histamine issues can be a possibility with Paroxetine wd, but as I never had allergic issues or asthma in my life, I didn't really read about it.

 

As it can be a distressing symptom, and as it can play a role in anxiety (which is one of my main symptom), I started a low histamine diet on January 11 2021.

 

It's now been a month, I'm not seeing improvements, I'll keep going with the diet a few more months to see if it can improve.

 

Meantime, Im struggling with these tickles throat : does someone may recognize this symptom and perhaps have found tips to ease it ?

 

 

Hi Erell, Just caught your post here and it surprised me as it's directly relevent to the post I'm waiting to be moderated in my own thread.  Perhaps if that can be passed you'll be able to see if what I write rings any bells with you too.  Basically it's about laryngeal/pharyngeal dystonia and the difficulty swallowing and aspirating/choking.

 

https://swallowstudy.com/abas-drug-induced-dysphagia/

 

My source of reading.  I tend to pick through bits of articles, my concentration is not good enough to digest the whole thing so it may or may not be relevent.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. Stopped completely after joining this site and discovering it's psychoactive too.

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took.  Probably only ever had one pack of zopiclone for crisis period.

After seeing psychiatrist for first time I was put on sertraline, stopped lorazepam and reduced olanzapine to 2.5mg daily.  Limited improvement with sertraline led to increasing dose to 200mg daily sustained till March 2020.

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex, primarily looking for Riboflavin based on recommendations for Migraine treatment.  So successful I hardly ever took any over 2020 just occasionally to treat my extreme fatigue.

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Mar2021 experimenting with my Mg 500mg and CoQ as fatigue is pretty limiting.  No apparent side effects.

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Erell, could the tickling be dust or dryness from indoors heating?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Posted (edited)

Hello @SeekingMeaning and @Altostrata

 

I don't think the tickles/needles happens because of dust or dryness.

- I live in a sweet and humid region, and we are not heating indoors currently.

- I live with my parents and the three of us keep the house clean so I don't think dust is a cause (but you're right it could be, people can develop allergies).

 

Because I thought it was allergies, I started a low histamine diet in January, without seeing changes.

 

But a member called Rabe recently suggest to me that it might be caused by acid reflux, and I don't even know why I didn't think about it earlier because it sounds very relevant in my case !

 

I've had intense acid reflux for the first time in 2019 (Paxil crash) and struggle with this since.

So my hypothesis now is that my throat/esophagus might be injured and very sensitive now, causing this tickles and needles and difficulty to inhale :

- it intensify after meals, so I don't lay down or sit after meals / avoid foods like dairies/ do little meals (I always feel like I've eaten too much, like it's too much for my stomach).

I do feel like whatever I eat I can't digest it.

- I'm also carefully trying a supplement. It's a bit scary because I haven't introduced a supplement since 2019. I tried to find the safest option I could.

I talked about it here :

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/9026-acid-reflux/?do=

 

 

It seems to be helping : for now I'm taking one half of a tablet before going to bed and the tickles/needles don't wake me up anymore.

I would like to make a one-month treatment, hoping my body will accept the ingredients.

 

Perhaps this difficulty with breathing/acid reflux issues is just a new part of my Paxil WD symptoms.

 

It can be very distressing when you feel like you can't breath, and can increase anxiety, but I try to remind that it's very unlikely that I won't be able to breath.

I'm learning to live with this new symptom :)

 

 

Anyway, I thank you for your concern and support ❤

Let's keep going !

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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wantrelief

I am really sorry you are dealing with this new difficult symptom but it sounds like the supplement is helping so that is good news. I admire how you courageously approach coping with new symptoms that arise.

 

I am so pleased to hear of your improvements, Erell!  It sounds like you are well on your way to stabilizing - I am very excited for you! 💗WR

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%); 5/23/21: 6.85 mg (1.25%); 5/30/21: 6.8 mg (1.25%); 6/6/21: 6.7 mg (1.25%)

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  • Moderator
On 3/2/2021 at 5:08 PM, wantrelief said:

I am really sorry you are dealing with this new difficult symptom but it sounds like the supplement is helping so that is good news. I admire how you courageously approach coping with new symptoms that arise.

 

I am so pleased to hear of your improvements, Erell!  It sounds like you are well on your way to stabilizing - I am very excited for you! 💗WR

Oh thank you WR, you're a gem ! ❤

 

Well, just when I post to share improvements ...bim a wave hit me !

Periods came Wednesday and I'm hardly shaken since.

I'm still surprised when I plummet like this after feeling better and being able to engage more without feeling overstimulated.

Unlinear process, right ?

 

Well, the 3 steps back after taking 2 forward is hard and I'm tired, but you all know that.

 

But you know what ? I'm sooo glad I know this website and have the opportunity to read updates like yours : I don't know if you realise it but your update about your unexpected bright window is a wonderful gift for this community !

And I'm so excited for you 🤗

 

Thank you ❤

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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wantrelief

I am really sorry to hear you have been hit with a wave just when you were experiencing improvements.  I am hopeful the wave is due to your cycle and you will get back to that better place soon. Regardless, your brain has shown you that you are on your way to stabilization, that it can change.

 

1 hour ago, Erell said:

Well, the 3 steps back after taking 2 forward is hard and I'm tired, but you all know that.

I know....it is SO hard and tiring.  It takes all of one's strength to get through the day and feels exhausting to have to keep doing this day after day.

 

1 hour ago, Erell said:

But you know what ? I'm sooo glad I know this website and have the opportunity to read updates like yours : I don't know if you realise it but your update about your unexpected bright window is a wonderful gift for this community !

Aw, thank you so much for saying that, Erell.  I am so happy to be able to share my experience and that it can help others.  What I experienced does show how unexpected this journey is and not to give up as tomorrow literally  can be completely different than today!

 

You are doing really really well, Erell.  You are going to be ok, just keep going one step at a time as exhausting as it is.

 

 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%); 5/23/21: 6.85 mg (1.25%); 5/30/21: 6.8 mg (1.25%); 6/6/21: 6.7 mg (1.25%)

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getofflex

@erell, I'm sorry you got hit by a wave.  I know how disappointing that can be, after feeling better for a while, then to go back to feeling poorly. Prayers.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Trigger warning : I share symptoms.

 

Hello dear folks,

 

I think I'm looking for some comfort or support.

 

Two days ago, I had a very weird experience and I feel like I'm shocked since.

 

It didn't feel like usual symptoms or like anything else I went through.

I don't know how to describe it : suddenly I felt like the trees were about to muffle me/ I was feeling hot/ feeling like my body was lighter than the air/ my legs seems to be independent/ I knew physically that something terrible was about to happen/ highly paranoid/ I knew my life was over/ my body wasn't mine/ the sky terrified me, ...

 

I don't know it felt like going crazy, I wasn't in my body or in "reality" anymore during 1 hour.

It wasn't like usual chemical anxiety or panic attacks.

I felt like if I had taken LSD or something like that.

 

Perhaps this is what people describe as psychosis or hallucinations, I don't know. It is new for me.

 

I'm shocked and I know it is not a good thing to keep thinking about it. I use my tips to change the channel and relax, but I have issues to move on.

 

I haven't changed anything, eat or drink something new. And I must confess that I'm a bit scared, scared of it to happen again, scared of this experience after holding everything steady for 7 months. Wondering if I'm doing something wrong.

 

I was wondering if people who goes through these kind of experiences would agree to share with me, perhaps give me some reassurance.

I need to move on but 2 days later I'm still in shock. 

 

Thank you in advance ❤

 

@Shep : I know you went through some intense DR.

Did you find that you could use mindfullness during acute delusion ?

I tried to bodyscan and breath in different parts of my body, but I didn't manage to connect with my arms and legs, I was too agitated and disconnected.

Perhaps it is easier by using the sense of touch.

Looking for tips after this new (and scary) experience.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Longroadhome
4 hours ago, Erell said:

Trigger warning : I share symptoms.

 

Hello dear folks,

 

I think I'm looking for some comfort or support.

 

Two days ago, I had a very weird experience and I feel like I'm shocked since.

 

It didn't feel like usual symptoms or like anything else I went through.

I don't know how to describe it : suddenly I felt like the trees were about to muffle me/ I was feeling hot/ feeling like my body was lighter than the air/ my legs seems to be independent/ I knew physically that something terrible was about to happen/ highly paranoid/ I knew my life was over/ my body wasn't mine/ the sky terrified me, ...

 

I don't know it felt like going crazy, I wasn't in my body or in "reality" anymore during 1 hour.

It wasn't like usual chemical anxiety or panic attacks.

I felt like if I had taken LSD or something like that.

 

Perhaps this is what people describe as psychosis or hallucinations, I don't know. It is new for me.

 

I'm shocked and I know it is not a good thing to keep thinking about it. I use my tips to change the channel and relax, but I have issues to move on.

 

I haven't changed anything, eat or drink something new. And I must confess that I'm a bit scared, scared of it to happen again, scared of this experience after holding everything steady for 7 months. Wondering if I'm doing something wrong.

 

I was wondering if people who goes through these kind of experiences would agree to share with me, perhaps give me some reassurance.

I need to move on but 2 days later I'm still in shock. 

 

Thank you in advance ❤

Hi Erell 

so sorry to hear you have had this awful experience . 
Though haven’t had this myself it is on the list of wd symptoms produced on site. 

Both auditory and visual hallucinations are listed. 

 

it’s also a symptom in Baylissa Recovery and Renewal book

heres what it says:

Hallucinations: seeing apparitions, having hypnagogic hallucinations or brief events when falling asleep or waking up - usually visual, tactile, sensual or auditory .  
 

Had you just woke up or was it near bedtime ? 
 

our bodies are so messed up during WD anything is possible. 
 

really hope it was a one off. 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator

Thank you dear @Longroadhome, I too hope it was only one experience.

 

It was during afternoon, around 3pm during a gentle walk.

It came out of nowhere. 

 

I know that sometimes people can get a bit delusional because of lack of sleep, but Im lucky and I sleep around 6-7 hours.

 

I was alone and didn't tell my parents, I don't want them to panic.

And I don't want to talk about it to a therapist to hear that I need medication  😉

 

I think I'm in shock and needed to share and try to find some comfort.

Thank you ❤

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator
Gridley

@Erell

 

I'm sorry you went through this.  As longroadhome said, these experiences are listed as part of withdrawal.  These drugs can cause very strange experiences.  I just wanted to give you a reminder (as well as my sympathy) that this is the effects of the drugs, this is not you, and it is not permanent.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover + change to one 18.75mg dose, w/1 month hold.

Feb. 9, 2021, begin 10% every 4 weeks taper.  Current dose as of May 18: 11.7mgai.  Taper is 37.6% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 16mgai (44mgpw).  Aug 2016, discovered SA, holding at 16mg.  Taper is 78% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg.


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Moderator
getofflex

@erell, I'm sorry this happened to you.  I agree with Gridley and longroadhome - this AD WD is very bizarre indeed.  It sounds like maybe a combination of panic attack with severe DP/DR?  I understand your feeling of not wanting to tell a therapist so they won't try to put you back on drugs.  I'm the same way. Praying for you. 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

Link to post

@Erell sorry this happened to you. I’m glad it only lasted for a short time and you were able to use your skills to get through! I’ve never experienced that before but I have experienced out of the blue Hot feeling, wobbly legs with no balance, vision issues that didn’t last long. It’s weird how they come on and just go away.  I support you on not mentioning it with therapist or dr . We all here experience that situation! Sometimes when I’m in anxious mode I feel a strong urge to talk to someone to try and fix it. We seek comfort in those anxious times. It’s very hard to not tell dr during that time but I’m getting a little better at letting it go !As said above you know this is caused by the drugs and you know it’s not permanent! That’s acknowledgement, try and accept it and let it float on by! So hard but it will pass ! Hang in there Erell !

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml, 05/29/2021 8 ml, 

Link to post
SeekingMeaning
On 3/12/2021 at 9:01 AM, Erell said:

 

 

I think I'm looking for some comfort or support.

Dear Erell, I read this as soon as you post it and in my heart sent you the comfort ant support I could.  I was too unstable to make sensible word responses but you were in my thoughts all yesterday

 

Your experience sounds very shocking and I can say that yes, I'm familiar with these kinds of things from time to time and find them very alarming too.  Allow yourself to feel shocked by it but as someone wisely has responded, it is not 'you' and it does not define you, it's an unpleasant aspect of the process you are going through.

 

Try not to seek reasons in terms of something you 'might be doing wrong'.  Easier said than done I know, I am the worlds worst investigator when trying to 'fix' something in me that feels bad an I want to change it.  But seriously, most of these types of experiences are like frightened animals themselves, sure, frightened animals with teeth and claws but they also become very elusive when we go after them trying to fix them.  The do respond better to us being in as calm a place we can find and that often means allowing time to pass before trying to process what has happened, not doing it whilst in a state of shock and panic.

 

 

On 3/12/2021 at 9:01 AM, Erell said:

 

 

 

@Shep : I know you went through some intense DR.

Did you find that you could use mindfullness during acute delusion ?

I am a long time practitioner of meditation and mindfulness but I have to say with my experiences I have to use extreme caution with body scan type meditation or exercises that try to engage me with my sensory experience.  My personal history is that I am prone to dissociative strategy with my body and I find I get easily overloaded and panicky when trying to befriend my body experience.  I say this not as a negative about mindfulness at all, I am, as I say, I big believer in it's potential to help us.  But I think Western medicine has rather leapt on the bandwagon without understanding the finer points of how powerful these techniques are and that for some people they need to be approached with care.  Personally, if I have experienced something frightening or dissociative I find grounding through exercise, through gentle walking (perhaps walking meditation for which I have guided meditations loaded on my mp3 player along with many others - this helps because the guides usually have calming, soothing voices), using a candle flame rather than my body experience, or something a little practical and rhythmical (you should see my stack of completed cross stitch projects from nearly thirty years of struggling through some dark times!).  Before cross stitch I used jigsaws as a gentle therapy to soothe myself.  It occupies the mind but not in a stressy sort of way.

 

My current big helper through difficulty is using Aaaaah and Voooo sounds which is making me sound a little weird, thankfully only the dogs and husband to care here.  But they are ways too awaken parasympathetic system that I can bear whereas focussing on diaphragmatic breathing when I'm in a panic just makes me panic worse.  There's something oddly comforting in the sounds and the sensation around the beath and lips when I make those noises.

 

Anyway.  Offering my care and my encouragement that what you describe does not sound alien to me and can be weathered if you can find gentleness xx

On 3/12/2021 at 9:01 AM, Erell said:

I tried to bodyscan and breath in different parts of my body, but I didn't manage to connect with my arms and legs, I was too agitated and disconnected.

Perhaps it is easier by using the sense of touch.

Looking for tips after this new (and scary) experience.

Hope something in my experience can help but do ask if you wish to hear more.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. Stopped completely after joining this site and discovering it's psychoactive too.

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took.  Probably only ever had one pack of zopiclone for crisis period.

After seeing psychiatrist for first time I was put on sertraline, stopped lorazepam and reduced olanzapine to 2.5mg daily.  Limited improvement with sertraline led to increasing dose to 200mg daily sustained till March 2020.

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex, primarily looking for Riboflavin based on recommendations for Migraine treatment.  So successful I hardly ever took any over 2020 just occasionally to treat my extreme fatigue.

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Mar2021 experimenting with my Mg 500mg and CoQ as fatigue is pretty limiting.  No apparent side effects.

Link to post
  • Administrator
Posted (edited)
On 3/12/2021 at 4:01 AM, Erell said:

I don't know it felt like going crazy, I wasn't in my body or in "reality" anymore during 1 hour.

It wasn't like usual chemical anxiety or panic attacks.

I felt like if I had taken LSD or something like that.

 

Perhaps this is what people describe as psychosis or hallucinations, I don't know. It is new for me.

 

I'm sorry to hear about such an intense wave, Erell. 

 

I really think this is DP/DR at play here, not any form of psychosis. DP/DR is very scary when it happens, especially out of the blue. But no reason to think of psychosis. You're aware of your reality. You reacted by being careful of not telling anyone outside of your withdrawal group about it. So you're definitely in touch with reality and aware of the consequences of your actions. That's not seen with someone who is truly unaware of their reality. 

 

 

On 3/12/2021 at 4:01 AM, Erell said:

@Shep : I know you went through some intense DR.

Did you find that you could use mindfullness during acute delusion ?

I tried to bodyscan and breath in different parts of my body, but I didn't manage to connect with my arms and legs, I was too agitated and disconnected.

Perhaps it is easier by using the sense of touch.

Looking for tips after this new (and scary) experience.

 

Are you able to chew peppermint gum or have a peppermint candy? Be careful of artificial sweeteners or too much sugar. I found that having a strong, organic peppermint hard candy was a great way to conduct a mindfulness experience. I would concentrate on what I could smell and taste. It seemed to bring me back enough to function okay. I used to carry a few pieces of organic peppermint candies in my backpack just in case I needed it, staying mindful of limiting sugar. That way I could access a little peppermint mindfulness anytime I needed it while I was at work or during my commute. 

 

And yes! Touch is great, too. Perhaps experiment with a piece of ice. Cold! Then something warm, such as holding a cup of tea. Something soft, like a stuffed animal. Or rough, like a nail file. Smooth, like the lid on my laptop. You can experience all of these sensations, even with DP/DR. 

 

Do you have a music playlist of favorite songs? The emotional numbness of DP/DR can make it hard to access your emotions, but you may find it soothing to your nervous system. Having some music on your phone or an iPod means you can take the music with you for whenever you need it. 

 

What's out your window? There's a lot of traffic out mine right now. People catching a bus. Riding a bike. Walking a dog. Wow, that is one ugly dog, LOL. Finding humor is a GREAT way to navigate your way through it. The world around you provides your mindfulness experience. Look at the world with curiosity, not fear. DP/DR is like living in an amusement park funhouse. It's crazy, wild, and unpredictable. 

 

Don't give it anymore power than that. It's not who you are, simply what you're experiencing in that particular time. Like someone having a bad LSD trip, learn not to engage in the drama. Simply let it float past you like a bad movie on TV that you can't turn off. It's annoying, but it won't hurt you. 

 

You'll develop some of the strongest non-drug coping skills ever. Trust me on this. You have a LOT to look forward to as you make your way through this and go into recovery. 

 

You're okay, Erell. Remind yourself of that. You don't need to connect with all parts of your body. I had lots of numbness that fed into the depersonalization, but I knew I was still here. And that it would be okay. 

 

Edited by Shep
fixed typo

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Link to post

"I'm also carefully trying a supplement. It's a bit scary because I haven't introduced a supplement since 2019. "

Could it perhaps be that this supplement you recently added, while system is out of balance, is evoking the recent hallucinations. Serotonine syndrom can cause hallucinations too. Avoid caffeine (Coffee or tea), high doses of sugar and chocolate. Wish you all the best overcoming this strong wave. Accept it, ride it and eventually you will tame it 👊💪🥷

  • I'm a 42 years old male
  • I've got a job in business and economics
  • I'm into sports, animals and nature
  • I started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety
  • I attempted several times to stop using Paroxetine, starting a few years after 2004
  • I found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper
  • I started using liquid Seroxat suspension in 2015/2016
  • From 20 mg to 12 mg, I went down 5-10%
  • From 12 mg down I was forced to take smaller steps (0,2 ml/4-6 weeks)
  • 09/2018 at 5,6 ml (11,2 mg) of Seroxat Suspension fluid
  • 11/2018 Switch back to 5,7 ml (11,4 mg)
  • Started trying the brassmonkey micro-taper method end dec 2018
  • Current dose 5,6 ml (11.2 mg) 4/2021 after >1 year of withdrawal issues (several food sensitivities and conflicts with painkillers, caffein, grapefruit, chocolate etc.)
  • First goal is to reach 10mg (2022)
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  • Moderator

Hello, 

 

and thank you all ❤️ 
I'm living a pretty hard wave, I'm very greateful to be part of this community 💪☀️

 

2 hours ago, Sebas said:

"I'm also carefully trying a supplement. It's a bit scary because I haven't introduced a supplement since 2019. "

Could it perhaps be that this supplement you recently added, while system is out of balance, is evoking the recent hallucinations

I've thought about it too, thank you for pointing it. I don't think the supplement is a cause here (but could be wrong) : I took a tiny dose three nights and then stopped and decided to use it only in case of extreme acid reflux + ingredients seem to be very safe. But of course, who knows in WD ? :) 
Thank you for your encouragements !

 

On 3/13/2021 at 10:19 AM, SeekingMeaning said:

Anyway.  Offering my care and my encouragement that what you describe does not sound alien to me and can be weathered if you can find gentleness xx

Hope something in my experience can help but do ask if you wish to hear more.


Your experience IS helping me, thank you very much for sharing it is very kind of you !
You made me laugh while talking of being "the worlds worst investigator" : I think a lot of folks in WD can recognise themselves in your words :)
 

Gentle walking, and grounding : yes, that's my favorite tools during this journey ! 
Today, I went in the forest and did a grounding exercise while hugging a tree. As shep suggested, I tried to not focusing on connecting with all parts of my body and just focused as I could on the hug, the tree and the birds song. 
Not easy but I think it can be soothing :)

I thank you also for mentionning the use of sounds and making noises. I've read others mentionning this : I find it very interesting, but I don't know why I have a "mental block". Singing, screaming, making noises : I would like to, but I don't dare to, even alone. Which is silly, because it won't hurt anybody :) 
I will try to find simple exercices to start to use my voice :) 

And cross stich ! oh you spot on ! I do it a lot, and it is a wonderful tips to change the channel. 

( English is not my native langage so I hope you understand my sentences).

 

@Shep : thank you for agreeing to share your experience.
I thought I knew what was DR, but you're right, I am still in touch with reality because I was afraid of the consequences (and I probably only was very foggy this year when thinking I was having DR ;) ).
And getofflex spot on too : I probably discovered intense DR/DP with a panic attack.

And oh, what an amazing idea the mint candy ! It makes me think about cold : when I was overstimulated by too much Prozac and could'nt stop to pace this summer, I used cold (like cold water) to stay in touch with reality and grounding. 
I can see how powerful mint could help too. Thank you :)


Unfortunately, I don't manage to listen to music this year (and I miss it !) : anxiety/feeling hypervigilant is my main symptom and I find that music often intensify that and also makes me very emotionnal and spiraling. So I avoid music, and focus more on "natural " sounds like song birds or water. 

 

On 3/13/2021 at 3:28 PM, Shep said:

You're okay, Erell. Remind yourself of that. You don't need to connect with all parts of your body. I had lots of numbness that fed into the depersonalization, but I knew I was still here. And that it would be okay. 

Thank you, a lot, for this. 
Discovering DR/DP probably shocked me and I reacted with anxiety instead of trying to not engaging, because it was new and surprising. And because I was afraid of loosing touch with reality, afraid of doing something crazy or be dangerous for people.
Looks like I still have a lot to learn to float when new symptoms appear. Thank you for this, because it gives a nice perspective to it :
 

 

On 3/13/2021 at 3:28 PM, Shep said:

You'll develop some of the strongest non-drug coping skills ever. Trust me on this. You have a LOT to look forward to as you make your way through this and go into recovery. 


 

I apologies, I'm foggy and have some difficulties to think my sentences in English, but I wanted to thank you all : your support is very comforting, and you gave a lot of new tips to discover ❤️

 

Hope the day is sweet on your side ☀️☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Mentor

Hi Erell

 

Sorry I'm late to the game on this, but I just want you to know you're in my thoughts.  WD can sneak up on us in a lot of ways, but it sounds like you're doing a great job of searching for the best coping tools.  Your strength and positive attitude are your most powerful tools.  You'll be in a window soon!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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SeekingMeaning
19 hours ago, Erell said:


Today, I went in the forest and did a grounding exercise while hugging a tree. As shep suggested, I tried to not focusing on connecting with all parts of my body and just focused as I could on the hug, the tree and the birds song. 
Not easy but I think it can be soothing :)

 

 

That sounds fantastic, well done, and I fully appreciate that even though enriching as an experience it will have come with some of it's own intense and evocative effects to process.  I often wish I could experience something with straightforward uncomplicated joy but it seems not to be something my psyche understands!

 

19 hours ago, Erell said:

I thank you also for mentionning the use of sounds and making noises. I've read others mentionning this : I find it very interesting, but I don't know why I have a "mental block". Singing, screaming, making noises : I would like to, but I don't dare to, even alone. Which is silly, because it won't hurt anybody :) 
I will try to find simple exercices to start to use my voice :) 

 

IActually not silly at all.  I have tremendous difficulty freely using sound for healing.  Many years ago, early in my therapy process I longed to scream.  I took myself into the hills on my bike chose a secluded spot and.... nothing.  I just couldn't do it.  

 

My 'explanations' if I can call it that....  Well there is basic self-consciousness.  After all 'normal people don't scream' do they ;)?  And of course having felt abnormal all my life there is a lot of my system dedicated to forcing me to act how I perceive to be normal.

 

But also, if a primary wounding means that the urge to scream is resonating with a very young part of the self that really needed a parent to hear and comfort then it still longs for a loving, wise person to provide that witness to the suffering the scream reveals.  At the time I went into the hills I would have simply recreated the wounding experience of childhood where no one heard my cries.  That would have been damaging and my psyche wisely prevented me from going ahead and putting myself in that position (and then having to get back on my bike and head home acting normal!!!).  It has taken many more years of therapy and development of my own wise, compassionate heart through meditative processes for me to contemplate making my tentative little Aaahs and Vooos but hey, I am so proud of myself for being able to do those now.  Who knows if I shall ever go off and scream again but I will know now to respect if silence is what emerges.

 

Which is a long way round of urging you to respect the wisdom of where you are right now and if something truly doesn't feel right it's often best not to push it or to explore it at a time when things are more stable.

 

Waves to a fellow cross stitcher and please don't apologise for your use of English.  If we were trying to speak in French I would not get beyond 'that is a white cat' :D  You're doing a fantastic job.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. Stopped completely after joining this site and discovering it's psychoactive too.

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took.  Probably only ever had one pack of zopiclone for crisis period.

After seeing psychiatrist for first time I was put on sertraline, stopped lorazepam and reduced olanzapine to 2.5mg daily.  Limited improvement with sertraline led to increasing dose to 200mg daily sustained till March 2020.

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex, primarily looking for Riboflavin based on recommendations for Migraine treatment.  So successful I hardly ever took any over 2020 just occasionally to treat my extreme fatigue.

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Mar2021 experimenting with my Mg 500mg and CoQ as fatigue is pretty limiting.  No apparent side effects.

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  • Moderator
getofflex

@erell I'm sorry you are in hard wave.  I'm praying for you today.  You will get through this my friend.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

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@SeekingMeaning @Erellinvestigator lol . Y’all making us laugh it’s contagious. We got some real Sherlock Holmes around here 😂 . been there done that! I pray good days for y’all this week! 

 

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml, 05/29/2021 8 ml, 

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  • Moderator

11 months since Prozac Bridge 

7 months holding doses

 

--》 My baseline was improving slowly each month in October-Nov-Dec. 

Life wasn't easy, but I could see a gradual progression in my dailynotes.

Since January, my baseline seems to setback : slight anxious sleep and cortisol spikes are back, intrusive violent thoughts are back in force and constant, high chemical anxiety, restlessness in legs and body, SI, feeling overstimulated by sounds/light/people,... .

It's hard to say but I think I've stopped progressing since December. 

+ I had moments where I was feeling "almost normal" for an hour and spikes were getting easier.

Since January, spikes are very intense again and I don't seem to have the "1 hour window" anymore.

 

 

I realise that I'm able to do less in dailylife than in December or November.

I'm more in a constant wave with stronger spikes.

 

It's very dificult for me to say all this because it questions my recovery : we say that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets and the less powerfull the waves are.

Since January it seems that the further I move the more difficult it is.

 

 

--》 With the battle fatigue of last two years, I'm in need of help and hope. So I've decided to meet an homeopath (very weird for me to say this as I don't "believe" in homeopathy). He is a classically trained unicist homeopath  : it means that he takes the time to pick one remedy, give one granule only once and then wait to see how your body react.

I've not decided yet if I'll ingest what he will suggest, but at least it is giving me a sense of hope and this hope is helping me to keep going through the day.

 

I'm trying to not think about the fact that it will soon be one year since the beginning of my switch to Prozac because it is not helping to realise that I'm feeling worse than one year ago and that the switch destabilised me hugely and did not help. 

I don't want to feed negative thoughts, but these thoughts and observation are here, and I've lost a lot this year. 

 

People ahead us tell us that everybody does eventually stabilise. I do hope so and hope my body will manage to regain some stability on Prozac.

 

 

Sending hugs and support to all strong folks ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Longroadhome

@Erell

firstly it’s not true for everyone that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets.  As you know we can’t base out recovery on anyone else’s. Each journey is unique. 
some people have windows from the beginning  while others start to get them only after months or a couple of years and others don’t have windows at all. But none of this means that the person that has windows right from the beginning will heal quicker than the one that never had any. It’s not how it works. 
An example of this is Pugs success story. His windows were intermittent while Judith never had any for the whole of her WD which I believe was 4 plus years. But when her recovery started to become apparent she healed within months completely while Pug still had ups and downs over some years. 
 

On the Bloom in Wellness site there are two success stories where one talks of having her  worst setback four months before complete recovery and the other talks of new symptoms some years into WD and just before recovery . Both have healed completely . 
 

And so will you . 
 

our symptoms and journey through WD may be different but the issue is the same . down regulation  of receptors. And yes everyone does heal from down regulation of receptors. 
 

And so will you . Xx 

 


 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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mustafa

Hello @Erell,

It is not true for me too that waves are gentler. I feel any new wave stronger and stronger that the previous one. Mistakes that stimulate my symptomts are getting more dangerous and mistakes arent allowed because I hugely suffer. I will follow your thread everyday. I hope to read you are feeling better❤.

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Kingfisher86
2 hours ago, Erell said:

It's very dificult for me to say all this because it questions my recovery : we say that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets and the less powerfull the waves are.

Since January it seems that the further I move the more difficult it is.

@Erell This got me thinking... 

 

I remember my friend saying to me that sometimes we can truly understand our journey (ups and downs) once it is finished.

 

I believe you’ve made all of your recovery decisions (including the bridge one) in good faith. That attitude could even make a less effective decision be more effective...

 

Hope things get better soon💖

 

 

July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram

August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram

 

Tapering started:

June 2020—1st of August.

Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped)

Drug free: August 1st, 2020

 

I was on 500mg Metformin for PCOS for the last two years. Stopped on 7th of August 2020.

 

Supplements:

Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg, Vitamin C 3x1000 mg, Omega3 – 3x1000 mg, Zinc 5mg.

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Adili13

@Erelli just your most recent post. I’m sorry you’re still struggling so badly, my friend. I really hope the homeopathy offers you some hope! All that being said, you will recover and you will be totally ok eventually, it just takes time. I totally get the frustration with the Prozac switch. I made some bad decisions in my taper that made me SO much worse. The one that put me over the edge was an updose. You will be OK!!!! Keep fighting. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1

 

Medication signature.docx

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SeekingMeaning
2 hours ago, Erell said:

 

--》 With the battle fatigue of last two years, I'm in need of help and hope. So I've decided to meet an homeopath (very weird for me to say this as I don't "believe" in homeopathy). He is a classically trained unicist homeopath  : it means that he takes the time to pick one remedy, give one granule only once and then wait to see how your body react.

I've not decided yet if I'll ingest what he will suggest, but at least it is giving me a sense of hope and this hope is helping me to keep going through the day.

 

Dear Erell, I've known you so short a time through forum but feel a warmth to you (perhaps because you were the first to say 'hi' to me :)) so I am sad to hear you feeling so beaten by your recovery process.  I think you call it just right in the para above, you do have battle fatigue and that is a good phrase to bear in mind, that it colours so much of how you are experiencing your life right now.  I wish some windows of rest to come your way very soon, and send healing thoughts in your direction.

 

I wouldn't knock the homeopathy angle, I was only thinking yesterday how the grinding and tapering of doses was reminding me of homeopathy.  Quite a few of my family have had good results through the individually tailored approach, less so with the over the counter remedies.

 

I am lacking wise words this morning.  Just wanted to send you a healing hug very gently.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. Stopped completely after joining this site and discovering it's psychoactive too.

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took.  Probably only ever had one pack of zopiclone for crisis period.

After seeing psychiatrist for first time I was put on sertraline, stopped lorazepam and reduced olanzapine to 2.5mg daily.  Limited improvement with sertraline led to increasing dose to 200mg daily sustained till March 2020.

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex, primarily looking for Riboflavin based on recommendations for Migraine treatment.  So successful I hardly ever took any over 2020 just occasionally to treat my extreme fatigue.

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Mar2021 experimenting with my Mg 500mg and CoQ as fatigue is pretty limiting.  No apparent side effects.

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  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

@Erell I had a major wave late last year into January.   On some days it felt almost as bad as early withdrawal.  However, I'm out of that wave now, and I feel better now than ever.  Still not good or fully recovered, but better.  I'm telling you my experience to give you hope.  I know how discouraging it is to go into a bad wave after we think we have recovered to a certain point.  I'm saying this to give you hope.  Hang in there.  You are in my prayers and thoughts.  

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Thank you 🙏

I don't know if you can realise how big it is to read your support.

I've read and re-read your words today, thank you !

 

Three days ago I stopped taking my Paroxetine toothpick : since 7 months, every morning, I barely put the end of a toothpick in liquid Paxil, and then barely touch my tongue.

I don't taste anything and I'm not even sure I really put Paxil in my mouth because I only skim.

But, after 7 months I wondered if it was causing issues (for example : was I taking a different microdose everyday ?) and prevent my CNS to stabilise on Prozac ( + my Paxil bottle is now out of date).

That's why I thought this week it might be worthwhile to stop it.

 

I've spent the day today frozen in sheer terror, it feels as bad as early days of Paxil crash in 2019.

Quite amazed by the idea that it could be because I stopped the Toothpick. Could be, or could not because I was already tumbling before stopping.

 

I'm surprised by how bad March has been and how symptoms seem to go downhill since January.

And scared even if trying to not be.

 

I'm reading Success stories to stay strong.

 

Take care ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Mentor

Hi Erell

 

I think a spike in anxiety is natural when you realize you're no longer using an SSRI, regardless of how small the dose is.  I also think realizing its been a year since the world went into lockdown is also taking a toll.  I've felt my own anxiety ramp up this month as well., and its taken the same form--a feeling of terror (or extreme unease) without knowing what I'm scared of.  I'm practicing mindful breathing and diversion until it passes.  It will pass for you too.  Try focusing on positive things--the progress you've made since starting WD.  This is a temporary setback.  Positive thoughts going out to you!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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wantrelief

Hello Erell - I am really sorry you are struggling.  You are going to ok.....I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but you will be. You are doing an amazing job of holding on and coping as best you can. You are in my thoughts and heart.  

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%); 5/23/21: 6.85 mg (1.25%); 5/30/21: 6.8 mg (1.25%); 6/6/21: 6.7 mg (1.25%)

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  • Moderator
brassmonkey

Hi Erell-- Paxil is such a bear to get off of, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such problems with it. Stopping the daily toothpick is probably a good idea, but if things get really bad you could use a "rescue dose" on the toothpick. Just a once in a while thing to help in the really bad times. That little tiny amount should not cause any problems if used once in a while. We usually don't recommend skipping days to taper but with the toothpick there is not much of an option. Possibly using it every other day for a while and see what happens.

 

When I get a chance I'll read your latest posts and see if I have any other ideas.

 

((((((((((((((((Monkey Hugs))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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