Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

Recommended Posts

  • Moderator Emeritus

@erell, I'm sorry you got hit by a wave.  I know how disappointing that can be, after feeling better for a while, then to go back to feeling poorly. Prayers.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Trigger warning : I share symptoms.

 

Hello dear folks,

 

I think I'm looking for some comfort or support.

 

Two days ago, I had a very weird experience and I feel like I'm shocked since.

 

It didn't feel like usual symptoms or like anything else I went through.

I don't know how to describe it : suddenly I felt like the trees were about to muffle me/ I was feeling hot/ feeling like my body was lighter than the air/ my legs seems to be independent/ I knew physically that something terrible was about to happen/ highly paranoid/ I knew my life was over/ my body wasn't mine/ the sky terrified me, ...

 

I don't know it felt like going crazy, I wasn't in my body or in "reality" anymore during 1 hour.

It wasn't like usual chemical anxiety or panic attacks.

I felt like if I had taken LSD or something like that.

 

Perhaps this is what people describe as psychosis or hallucinations, I don't know. It is new for me.

 

I'm shocked and I know it is not a good thing to keep thinking about it. I use my tips to change the channel and relax, but I have issues to move on.

 

I haven't changed anything, eat or drink something new. And I must confess that I'm a bit scared, scared of it to happen again, scared of this experience after holding everything steady for 7 months. Wondering if I'm doing something wrong.

 

I was wondering if people who goes through these kind of experiences would agree to share with me, perhaps give me some reassurance.

I need to move on but 2 days later I'm still in shock. 

 

Thank you in advance ❤

 

@Shep : I know you went through some intense DR.

Did you find that you could use mindfullness during acute delusion ?

I tried to bodyscan and breath in different parts of my body, but I didn't manage to connect with my arms and legs, I was too agitated and disconnected.

Perhaps it is easier by using the sense of touch.

Looking for tips after this new (and scary) experience.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Erell said:

Trigger warning : I share symptoms.

 

Hello dear folks,

 

I think I'm looking for some comfort or support.

 

Two days ago, I had a very weird experience and I feel like I'm shocked since.

 

It didn't feel like usual symptoms or like anything else I went through.

I don't know how to describe it : suddenly I felt like the trees were about to muffle me/ I was feeling hot/ feeling like my body was lighter than the air/ my legs seems to be independent/ I knew physically that something terrible was about to happen/ highly paranoid/ I knew my life was over/ my body wasn't mine/ the sky terrified me, ...

 

I don't know it felt like going crazy, I wasn't in my body or in "reality" anymore during 1 hour.

It wasn't like usual chemical anxiety or panic attacks.

I felt like if I had taken LSD or something like that.

 

Perhaps this is what people describe as psychosis or hallucinations, I don't know. It is new for me.

 

I'm shocked and I know it is not a good thing to keep thinking about it. I use my tips to change the channel and relax, but I have issues to move on.

 

I haven't changed anything, eat or drink something new. And I must confess that I'm a bit scared, scared of it to happen again, scared of this experience after holding everything steady for 7 months. Wondering if I'm doing something wrong.

 

I was wondering if people who goes through these kind of experiences would agree to share with me, perhaps give me some reassurance.

I need to move on but 2 days later I'm still in shock. 

 

Thank you in advance ❤

Hi Erell 

so sorry to hear you have had this awful experience . 
Though haven’t had this myself it is on the list of wd symptoms produced on site. 

Both auditory and visual hallucinations are listed. 

 

it’s also a symptom in Baylissa Recovery and Renewal book

heres what it says:

Hallucinations: seeing apparitions, having hypnagogic hallucinations or brief events when falling asleep or waking up - usually visual, tactile, sensual or auditory .  
 

Had you just woke up or was it near bedtime ? 
 

our bodies are so messed up during WD anything is possible. 
 

really hope it was a one off. 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you dear @Longroadhome, I too hope it was only one experience.

 

It was during afternoon, around 3pm during a gentle walk.

It came out of nowhere. 

 

I know that sometimes people can get a bit delusional because of lack of sleep, but Im lucky and I sleep around 6-7 hours.

 

I was alone and didn't tell my parents, I don't want them to panic.

And I don't want to talk about it to a therapist to hear that I need medication  😉

 

I think I'm in shock and needed to share and try to find some comfort.

Thank you ❤

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@Erell

 

I'm sorry you went through this.  As longroadhome said, these experiences are listed as part of withdrawal.  These drugs can cause very strange experiences.  I just wanted to give you a reminder (as well as my sympathy) that this is the effects of the drugs, this is not you, and it is not permanent.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@erell, I'm sorry this happened to you.  I agree with Gridley and longroadhome - this AD WD is very bizarre indeed.  It sounds like maybe a combination of panic attack with severe DP/DR?  I understand your feeling of not wanting to tell a therapist so they won't try to put you back on drugs.  I'm the same way. Praying for you. 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Erell sorry this happened to you. I’m glad it only lasted for a short time and you were able to use your skills to get through! I’ve never experienced that before but I have experienced out of the blue Hot feeling, wobbly legs with no balance, vision issues that didn’t last long. It’s weird how they come on and just go away.  I support you on not mentioning it with therapist or dr . We all here experience that situation! Sometimes when I’m in anxious mode I feel a strong urge to talk to someone to try and fix it. We seek comfort in those anxious times. It’s very hard to not tell dr during that time but I’m getting a little better at letting it go !As said above you know this is caused by the drugs and you know it’s not permanent! That’s acknowledgement, try and accept it and let it float on by! So hard but it will pass ! Hang in there Erell !

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

Link to comment
On 3/12/2021 at 9:01 AM, Erell said:

 

 

I think I'm looking for some comfort or support.

Dear Erell, I read this as soon as you post it and in my heart sent you the comfort ant support I could.  I was too unstable to make sensible word responses but you were in my thoughts all yesterday

 

Your experience sounds very shocking and I can say that yes, I'm familiar with these kinds of things from time to time and find them very alarming too.  Allow yourself to feel shocked by it but as someone wisely has responded, it is not 'you' and it does not define you, it's an unpleasant aspect of the process you are going through.

 

Try not to seek reasons in terms of something you 'might be doing wrong'.  Easier said than done I know, I am the worlds worst investigator when trying to 'fix' something in me that feels bad an I want to change it.  But seriously, most of these types of experiences are like frightened animals themselves, sure, frightened animals with teeth and claws but they also become very elusive when we go after them trying to fix them.  The do respond better to us being in as calm a place we can find and that often means allowing time to pass before trying to process what has happened, not doing it whilst in a state of shock and panic.

 

 

On 3/12/2021 at 9:01 AM, Erell said:

 

 

 

@Shep : I know you went through some intense DR.

Did you find that you could use mindfullness during acute delusion ?

I am a long time practitioner of meditation and mindfulness but I have to say with my experiences I have to use extreme caution with body scan type meditation or exercises that try to engage me with my sensory experience.  My personal history is that I am prone to dissociative strategy with my body and I find I get easily overloaded and panicky when trying to befriend my body experience.  I say this not as a negative about mindfulness at all, I am, as I say, I big believer in it's potential to help us.  But I think Western medicine has rather leapt on the bandwagon without understanding the finer points of how powerful these techniques are and that for some people they need to be approached with care.  Personally, if I have experienced something frightening or dissociative I find grounding through exercise, through gentle walking (perhaps walking meditation for which I have guided meditations loaded on my mp3 player along with many others - this helps because the guides usually have calming, soothing voices), using a candle flame rather than my body experience, or something a little practical and rhythmical (you should see my stack of completed cross stitch projects from nearly thirty years of struggling through some dark times!).  Before cross stitch I used jigsaws as a gentle therapy to soothe myself.  It occupies the mind but not in a stressy sort of way.

 

My current big helper through difficulty is using Aaaaah and Voooo sounds which is making me sound a little weird, thankfully only the dogs and husband to care here.  But they are ways too awaken parasympathetic system that I can bear whereas focussing on diaphragmatic breathing when I'm in a panic just makes me panic worse.  There's something oddly comforting in the sounds and the sensation around the beath and lips when I make those noises.

 

Anyway.  Offering my care and my encouragement that what you describe does not sound alien to me and can be weathered if you can find gentleness xx

On 3/12/2021 at 9:01 AM, Erell said:

I tried to bodyscan and breath in different parts of my body, but I didn't manage to connect with my arms and legs, I was too agitated and disconnected.

Perhaps it is easier by using the sense of touch.

Looking for tips after this new (and scary) experience.

Hope something in my experience can help but do ask if you wish to hear more.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. 

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, lorazepam I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took. Eventually put on 200mg sertraline, 2.5mg olanzapine

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex,

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Jul 2021 2.5mg Olanzapine, 1.15mg Sertraline, fish oil, magnesium

Oct 2021 2.5mg Olanzapine, 1mg Sertraline, fish oil, magnesium

May 2022 completed slow taper to 0.8mg and stopped Sertraline. Holding Olanzapine at 2.5mg

Jan 2023 reduced olanzapine to 2.25mg using water taper method

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
On 3/12/2021 at 4:01 AM, Erell said:

I don't know it felt like going crazy, I wasn't in my body or in "reality" anymore during 1 hour.

It wasn't like usual chemical anxiety or panic attacks.

I felt like if I had taken LSD or something like that.

 

Perhaps this is what people describe as psychosis or hallucinations, I don't know. It is new for me.

 

I'm sorry to hear about such an intense wave, Erell. 

 

I really think this is DP/DR at play here, not any form of psychosis. DP/DR is very scary when it happens, especially out of the blue. But no reason to think of psychosis. You're aware of your reality. You reacted by being careful of not telling anyone outside of your withdrawal group about it. So you're definitely in touch with reality and aware of the consequences of your actions. That's not seen with someone who is truly unaware of their reality. 

 

 

On 3/12/2021 at 4:01 AM, Erell said:

@Shep : I know you went through some intense DR.

Did you find that you could use mindfullness during acute delusion ?

I tried to bodyscan and breath in different parts of my body, but I didn't manage to connect with my arms and legs, I was too agitated and disconnected.

Perhaps it is easier by using the sense of touch.

Looking for tips after this new (and scary) experience.

 

Are you able to chew peppermint gum or have a peppermint candy? Be careful of artificial sweeteners or too much sugar. I found that having a strong, organic peppermint hard candy was a great way to conduct a mindfulness experience. I would concentrate on what I could smell and taste. It seemed to bring me back enough to function okay. I used to carry a few pieces of organic peppermint candies in my backpack just in case I needed it, staying mindful of limiting sugar. That way I could access a little peppermint mindfulness anytime I needed it while I was at work or during my commute. 

 

And yes! Touch is great, too. Perhaps experiment with a piece of ice. Cold! Then something warm, such as holding a cup of tea. Something soft, like a stuffed animal. Or rough, like a nail file. Smooth, like the lid on my laptop. You can experience all of these sensations, even with DP/DR. 

 

Do you have a music playlist of favorite songs? The emotional numbness of DP/DR can make it hard to access your emotions, but you may find it soothing to your nervous system. Having some music on your phone or an iPod means you can take the music with you for whenever you need it. 

 

What's out your window? There's a lot of traffic out mine right now. People catching a bus. Riding a bike. Walking a dog. Wow, that is one ugly dog, LOL. Finding humor is a GREAT way to navigate your way through it. The world around you provides your mindfulness experience. Look at the world with curiosity, not fear. DP/DR is like living in an amusement park funhouse. It's crazy, wild, and unpredictable. 

 

Don't give it anymore power than that. It's not who you are, simply what you're experiencing in that particular time. Like someone having a bad LSD trip, learn not to engage in the drama. Simply let it float past you like a bad movie on TV that you can't turn off. It's annoying, but it won't hurt you. 

 

You'll develop some of the strongest non-drug coping skills ever. Trust me on this. You have a LOT to look forward to as you make your way through this and go into recovery. 

 

You're okay, Erell. Remind yourself of that. You don't need to connect with all parts of your body. I had lots of numbness that fed into the depersonalization, but I knew I was still here. And that it would be okay. 

 

Edited by Shep
fixed typo

 

 

Link to comment

"I'm also carefully trying a supplement. It's a bit scary because I haven't introduced a supplement since 2019. "

Could it perhaps be that this supplement you recently added, while system is out of balance, is evoking the recent hallucinations. Serotonine syndrom can cause hallucinations too. Avoid caffeine (Coffee or tea), high doses of sugar and chocolate. Wish you all the best overcoming this strong wave. Accept it, ride it and eventually you will tame it 👊💪🥷

  • 45 years old male
  • job in spatial planning
  • into sports, animals and nature
  • Started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety/depression
  • Attempted several times to stop, starting a few years after 2004
  • Found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper guideline
  • Started using liquid paxil in 2015/2016
  • 2018 --> 11.2 mg of paxil
  • 2019-2023 developed severe food- and other sensitivities (anti imflammatory, anti oxidant, food colourings, oils, herbs, chemicals etc.)
  • 12/2023 Poop-out/tolerance, introducing brassmonkey slide method 0.1mg/week
  • 26/1/2024 10 mg (journey halfway).
Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello, 

 

and thank you all ❤️ 
I'm living a pretty hard wave, I'm very greateful to be part of this community 💪☀️

 

2 hours ago, Sebas said:

"I'm also carefully trying a supplement. It's a bit scary because I haven't introduced a supplement since 2019. "

Could it perhaps be that this supplement you recently added, while system is out of balance, is evoking the recent hallucinations

I've thought about it too, thank you for pointing it. I don't think the supplement is a cause here (but could be wrong) : I took a tiny dose three nights and then stopped and decided to use it only in case of extreme acid reflux + ingredients seem to be very safe. But of course, who knows in WD ? :) 
Thank you for your encouragements !

 

On 3/13/2021 at 10:19 AM, SeekingMeaning said:

Anyway.  Offering my care and my encouragement that what you describe does not sound alien to me and can be weathered if you can find gentleness xx

Hope something in my experience can help but do ask if you wish to hear more.


Your experience IS helping me, thank you very much for sharing it is very kind of you !
You made me laugh while talking of being "the worlds worst investigator" : I think a lot of folks in WD can recognise themselves in your words :)
 

Gentle walking, and grounding : yes, that's my favorite tools during this journey ! 
Today, I went in the forest and did a grounding exercise while hugging a tree. As shep suggested, I tried to not focusing on connecting with all parts of my body and just focused as I could on the hug, the tree and the birds song. 
Not easy but I think it can be soothing :)

I thank you also for mentionning the use of sounds and making noises. I've read others mentionning this : I find it very interesting, but I don't know why I have a "mental block". Singing, screaming, making noises : I would like to, but I don't dare to, even alone. Which is silly, because it won't hurt anybody :) 
I will try to find simple exercices to start to use my voice :) 

And cross stich ! oh you spot on ! I do it a lot, and it is a wonderful tips to change the channel. 

( English is not my native langage so I hope you understand my sentences).

 

@Shep : thank you for agreeing to share your experience.
I thought I knew what was DR, but you're right, I am still in touch with reality because I was afraid of the consequences (and I probably only was very foggy this year when thinking I was having DR ;) ).
And getofflex spot on too : I probably discovered intense DR/DP with a panic attack.

And oh, what an amazing idea the mint candy ! It makes me think about cold : when I was overstimulated by too much Prozac and could'nt stop to pace this summer, I used cold (like cold water) to stay in touch with reality and grounding. 
I can see how powerful mint could help too. Thank you :)


Unfortunately, I don't manage to listen to music this year (and I miss it !) : anxiety/feeling hypervigilant is my main symptom and I find that music often intensify that and also makes me very emotionnal and spiraling. So I avoid music, and focus more on "natural " sounds like song birds or water. 

 

On 3/13/2021 at 3:28 PM, Shep said:

You're okay, Erell. Remind yourself of that. You don't need to connect with all parts of your body. I had lots of numbness that fed into the depersonalization, but I knew I was still here. And that it would be okay. 

Thank you, a lot, for this. 
Discovering DR/DP probably shocked me and I reacted with anxiety instead of trying to not engaging, because it was new and surprising. And because I was afraid of loosing touch with reality, afraid of doing something crazy or be dangerous for people.
Looks like I still have a lot to learn to float when new symptoms appear. Thank you for this, because it gives a nice perspective to it :
 

 

On 3/13/2021 at 3:28 PM, Shep said:

You'll develop some of the strongest non-drug coping skills ever. Trust me on this. You have a LOT to look forward to as you make your way through this and go into recovery. 


 

I apologies, I'm foggy and have some difficulties to think my sentences in English, but I wanted to thank you all : your support is very comforting, and you gave a lot of new tips to discover ❤️

 

Hope the day is sweet on your side ☀️☀️

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Hi Erell

 

Sorry I'm late to the game on this, but I just want you to know you're in my thoughts.  WD can sneak up on us in a lot of ways, but it sounds like you're doing a great job of searching for the best coping tools.  Your strength and positive attitude are your most powerful tools.  You'll be in a window soon!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to comment
19 hours ago, Erell said:


Today, I went in the forest and did a grounding exercise while hugging a tree. As shep suggested, I tried to not focusing on connecting with all parts of my body and just focused as I could on the hug, the tree and the birds song. 
Not easy but I think it can be soothing :)

 

 

That sounds fantastic, well done, and I fully appreciate that even though enriching as an experience it will have come with some of it's own intense and evocative effects to process.  I often wish I could experience something with straightforward uncomplicated joy but it seems not to be something my psyche understands!

 

19 hours ago, Erell said:

I thank you also for mentionning the use of sounds and making noises. I've read others mentionning this : I find it very interesting, but I don't know why I have a "mental block". Singing, screaming, making noises : I would like to, but I don't dare to, even alone. Which is silly, because it won't hurt anybody :) 
I will try to find simple exercices to start to use my voice :) 

 

IActually not silly at all.  I have tremendous difficulty freely using sound for healing.  Many years ago, early in my therapy process I longed to scream.  I took myself into the hills on my bike chose a secluded spot and.... nothing.  I just couldn't do it.  

 

My 'explanations' if I can call it that....  Well there is basic self-consciousness.  After all 'normal people don't scream' do they ;)?  And of course having felt abnormal all my life there is a lot of my system dedicated to forcing me to act how I perceive to be normal.

 

But also, if a primary wounding means that the urge to scream is resonating with a very young part of the self that really needed a parent to hear and comfort then it still longs for a loving, wise person to provide that witness to the suffering the scream reveals.  At the time I went into the hills I would have simply recreated the wounding experience of childhood where no one heard my cries.  That would have been damaging and my psyche wisely prevented me from going ahead and putting myself in that position (and then having to get back on my bike and head home acting normal!!!).  It has taken many more years of therapy and development of my own wise, compassionate heart through meditative processes for me to contemplate making my tentative little Aaahs and Vooos but hey, I am so proud of myself for being able to do those now.  Who knows if I shall ever go off and scream again but I will know now to respect if silence is what emerges.

 

Which is a long way round of urging you to respect the wisdom of where you are right now and if something truly doesn't feel right it's often best not to push it or to explore it at a time when things are more stable.

 

Waves to a fellow cross stitcher and please don't apologise for your use of English.  If we were trying to speak in French I would not get beyond 'that is a white cat' :D  You're doing a fantastic job.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. 

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, lorazepam I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took. Eventually put on 200mg sertraline, 2.5mg olanzapine

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex,

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Jul 2021 2.5mg Olanzapine, 1.15mg Sertraline, fish oil, magnesium

Oct 2021 2.5mg Olanzapine, 1mg Sertraline, fish oil, magnesium

May 2022 completed slow taper to 0.8mg and stopped Sertraline. Holding Olanzapine at 2.5mg

Jan 2023 reduced olanzapine to 2.25mg using water taper method

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@erell I'm sorry you are in hard wave.  I'm praying for you today.  You will get through this my friend.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@SeekingMeaning @Erellinvestigator lol . Y’all making us laugh it’s contagious. We got some real Sherlock Holmes around here 😂 . been there done that! I pray good days for y’all this week! 

 

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

11 months since Prozac Bridge 

7 months holding doses

 

--》 My baseline was improving slowly each month in October-Nov-Dec. 

Life wasn't easy, but I could see a gradual progression in my dailynotes.

Since January, my baseline seems to setback : slight anxious sleep and cortisol spikes are back, intrusive violent thoughts are back in force and constant, high chemical anxiety, restlessness in legs and body, SI, feeling overstimulated by sounds/light/people,... .

It's hard to say but I think I've stopped progressing since December. 

+ I had moments where I was feeling "almost normal" for an hour and spikes were getting easier.

Since January, spikes are very intense again and I don't seem to have the "1 hour window" anymore.

 

 

I realise that I'm able to do less in dailylife than in December or November.

I'm more in a constant wave with stronger spikes.

 

It's very dificult for me to say all this because it questions my recovery : we say that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets and the less powerfull the waves are.

Since January it seems that the further I move the more difficult it is.

 

 

--》 With the battle fatigue of last two years, I'm in need of help and hope. So I've decided to meet an homeopath (very weird for me to say this as I don't "believe" in homeopathy). He is a classically trained unicist homeopath  : it means that he takes the time to pick one remedy, give one granule only once and then wait to see how your body react.

I've not decided yet if I'll ingest what he will suggest, but at least it is giving me a sense of hope and this hope is helping me to keep going through the day.

 

I'm trying to not think about the fact that it will soon be one year since the beginning of my switch to Prozac because it is not helping to realise that I'm feeling worse than one year ago and that the switch destabilised me hugely and did not help. 

I don't want to feed negative thoughts, but these thoughts and observation are here, and I've lost a lot this year. 

 

People ahead us tell us that everybody does eventually stabilise. I do hope so and hope my body will manage to regain some stability on Prozac.

 

 

Sending hugs and support to all strong folks ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

@Erell

firstly it’s not true for everyone that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets.  As you know we can’t base out recovery on anyone else’s. Each journey is unique. 
some people have windows from the beginning  while others start to get them only after months or a couple of years and others don’t have windows at all. But none of this means that the person that has windows right from the beginning will heal quicker than the one that never had any. It’s not how it works. 
An example of this is Pugs success story. His windows were intermittent while Judith never had any for the whole of her WD which I believe was 4 plus years. But when her recovery started to become apparent she healed within months completely while Pug still had ups and downs over some years. 
 

On the Bloom in Wellness site there are two success stories where one talks of having her  worst setback four months before complete recovery and the other talks of new symptoms some years into WD and just before recovery . Both have healed completely . 
 

And so will you . 
 

our symptoms and journey through WD may be different but the issue is the same . down regulation  of receptors. And yes everyone does heal from down regulation of receptors. 
 

And so will you . Xx 

 


 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment

Hello @Erell,

It is not true for me too that waves are gentler. I feel any new wave stronger and stronger that the previous one. Mistakes that stimulate my symptomts are getting more dangerous and mistakes arent allowed because I hugely suffer. I will follow your thread everyday. I hope to read you are feeling better❤.

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Erell said:

It's very dificult for me to say all this because it questions my recovery : we say that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets and the less powerfull the waves are.

Since January it seems that the further I move the more difficult it is.

@Erell This got me thinking... 

 

I remember my friend saying to me that sometimes we can truly understand our journey (ups and downs) once it is finished.

 

I believe you’ve made all of your recovery decisions (including the bridge one) in good faith. That attitude could even make a less effective decision be more effective...

 

Hope things get better soon💖

 

 

July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram

August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram

 

Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped)

 

Drug free: August 1st, 2020

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg.

Link to comment

@Erelli just your most recent post. I’m sorry you’re still struggling so badly, my friend. I really hope the homeopathy offers you some hope! All that being said, you will recover and you will be totally ok eventually, it just takes time. I totally get the frustration with the Prozac switch. I made some bad decisions in my taper that made me SO much worse. The one that put me over the edge was an updose. You will be OK!!!! Keep fighting. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78

Medication signature.docx

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Erell said:

 

--》 With the battle fatigue of last two years, I'm in need of help and hope. So I've decided to meet an homeopath (very weird for me to say this as I don't "believe" in homeopathy). He is a classically trained unicist homeopath  : it means that he takes the time to pick one remedy, give one granule only once and then wait to see how your body react.

I've not decided yet if I'll ingest what he will suggest, but at least it is giving me a sense of hope and this hope is helping me to keep going through the day.

 

Dear Erell, I've known you so short a time through forum but feel a warmth to you (perhaps because you were the first to say 'hi' to me :)) so I am sad to hear you feeling so beaten by your recovery process.  I think you call it just right in the para above, you do have battle fatigue and that is a good phrase to bear in mind, that it colours so much of how you are experiencing your life right now.  I wish some windows of rest to come your way very soon, and send healing thoughts in your direction.

 

I wouldn't knock the homeopathy angle, I was only thinking yesterday how the grinding and tapering of doses was reminding me of homeopathy.  Quite a few of my family have had good results through the individually tailored approach, less so with the over the counter remedies.

 

I am lacking wise words this morning.  Just wanted to send you a healing hug very gently.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. 

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, lorazepam I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took. Eventually put on 200mg sertraline, 2.5mg olanzapine

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex,

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Jul 2021 2.5mg Olanzapine, 1.15mg Sertraline, fish oil, magnesium

Oct 2021 2.5mg Olanzapine, 1mg Sertraline, fish oil, magnesium

May 2022 completed slow taper to 0.8mg and stopped Sertraline. Holding Olanzapine at 2.5mg

Jan 2023 reduced olanzapine to 2.25mg using water taper method

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@Erell I had a major wave late last year into January.   On some days it felt almost as bad as early withdrawal.  However, I'm out of that wave now, and I feel better now than ever.  Still not good or fully recovered, but better.  I'm telling you my experience to give you hope.  I know how discouraging it is to go into a bad wave after we think we have recovered to a certain point.  I'm saying this to give you hope.  Hang in there.  You are in my prayers and thoughts.  

Edited by getofflex

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you 🙏

I don't know if you can realise how big it is to read your support.

I've read and re-read your words today, thank you !

 

Three days ago I stopped taking my Paroxetine toothpick : since 7 months, every morning, I barely put the end of a toothpick in liquid Paxil, and then barely touch my tongue.

I don't taste anything and I'm not even sure I really put Paxil in my mouth because I only skim.

But, after 7 months I wondered if it was causing issues (for example : was I taking a different microdose everyday ?) and prevent my CNS to stabilise on Prozac ( + my Paxil bottle is now out of date).

That's why I thought this week it might be worthwhile to stop it.

 

I've spent the day today frozen in sheer terror, it feels as bad as early days of Paxil crash in 2019.

Quite amazed by the idea that it could be because I stopped the Toothpick. Could be, or could not because I was already tumbling before stopping.

 

I'm surprised by how bad March has been and how symptoms seem to go downhill since January.

And scared even if trying to not be.

 

I'm reading Success stories to stay strong.

 

Take care ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Hi Erell

 

I think a spike in anxiety is natural when you realize you're no longer using an SSRI, regardless of how small the dose is.  I also think realizing its been a year since the world went into lockdown is also taking a toll.  I've felt my own anxiety ramp up this month as well., and its taken the same form--a feeling of terror (or extreme unease) without knowing what I'm scared of.  I'm practicing mindful breathing and diversion until it passes.  It will pass for you too.  Try focusing on positive things--the progress you've made since starting WD.  This is a temporary setback.  Positive thoughts going out to you!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to comment

Hello Erell - I am really sorry you are struggling.  You are going to ok.....I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but you will be. You are doing an amazing job of holding on and coping as best you can. You are in my thoughts and heart.  

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Hi Erell-- Paxil is such a bear to get off of, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such problems with it. Stopping the daily toothpick is probably a good idea, but if things get really bad you could use a "rescue dose" on the toothpick. Just a once in a while thing to help in the really bad times. That little tiny amount should not cause any problems if used once in a while. We usually don't recommend skipping days to taper but with the toothpick there is not much of an option. Possibly using it every other day for a while and see what happens.

 

When I get a chance I'll read your latest posts and see if I have any other ideas.

 

((((((((((((((((Monkey Hugs))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@erell, I'm sorry to hear about this. I wish there was something I could do to help.  I'm praying for you.  Please hang in there, and take care of yourself as best as you can.  I believe this will pass.  When I feel very bad I read the success stories, and they always help me.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment

I was able to stop my acid reflux meds by raising the top of my bed 6 inches.

It takes some getting used to so some people just start with 2 or 4 inches at a time.

I took three w by 4's and drilled them together and then drilled them into the metal bed frame about 18 inches from the top of the bed. Within 3 weeks all my symptoms had resolved.  Now whenever I sleep in a regular bed it feels very strange but it was worth getting off pepcid and all the health risks associated with long term reflux.  Feel better soon.

 Starting ds 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG PAXIL CR 1/21/15: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18/15 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1/15 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14/15 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29/15 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24/15 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1/15 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13/15 10 mg.  12/3/15 Drop from 8mg to 7.6 (24 days to) 12/27/15 7.2mgs 8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 12/24/18 0.8mg, 3/24/19 0.64 mg,(syringe change issue date?) 4/22/19 0.60 mg, 5/24/19 0.60 mg, 7/7/19 0.52 mgs, 8/4/19 0.44mgs, 11/4/19 0.36mgs, 2/1/20 0.28mgs, 3/1/20 0.24mgs (crash April 6) Compound started 6/28/21: 0.24mgs, 8/29/21: 0.22mgs, 10/31/21: 0.20mgs, 1/03/22: 0.18mgs, 3/5/22: 0.16mgs, 5/5/22: 0.14mgs.

 

Original Wellbutrin Dose: 6 months from 9/14 to 3/2015, 300 XL 3/15/15: Half to 150 XL ( severe symptoms started on day 12) 4/16/15: 125mg   for 20 days to: 5/6/15:   100mg  for  15 days to: 5/21/15    75mg  for  10 days to: 6/1/15:  56.25mg      13 days to: 6/13/15: 37.25mg    7 days to: 6/20/15  28.12mg   14 days to: 7/4/15  18.75mg, 7 days to: 7/11/15; RAISE BACK TO: 28.12 to 8/14/15: 18.75mg  20 days to :9/3/15 : 12.5mg, 8/4/16 9mg 1/9/17: 8.5mg 2/8/17 8mg, 3/9/17: 7.6  4/9/17  7.2  5/27/17 6.4 6/24/17 5.8, 8/1/17 5.0, 8/29/17 4.2mgs, 10/2/17 3.5mgs, 12/28/17 2.5mgs, 2/27/18 1.7mgs,  4/19/18 0.8 mgs, LAST DOSE: 6/11/18:  3 YEARS, 2 MONTHS, 27 DAYS...

Link to comment

@Erell

I know this is a frightening time for you and believe me I have been in that dark dark hole twice. The first time I crashed in 2019 and the second occasion in August 2020 when I was tapering two drugs at the same time. 
please believe me when I say it WILL ease. Just  hold with the meds your taking and take one day at a time. It will definitely improve. TIME is what’s needed. 
 

‘My trust and belief in a good outcome allow me to accept that all the challenges I face daily are part of the healing process that leads to recovery’ . 
Baylissa.com

 

keep going 

keep moving forward 

Take one day at a time 

.. and you will make it through xx 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@Longroadhome : I always find your words comforting, thank you.

And thank you for mentioning Bloom in Wellness : I didn't know there were Success Stories there too, now I have new stories of healing to read ☺

I agree, every journey are different and the outcome is the same : recovery. I don't doubt recovery, I trust those ahead us.

I'm just exhausted I think : since August 2019 I haven't had a day where I felt ok or good. Just days that were easier to survive, but always survival mode.

I have now forgotten how it feels to just Feel yourself or "ok", being able to take a nap or reading a book relaxed in your couch.

I know I'm not the only one, I know people do recover.

It's more about how staying strong during the long road.

 

 

@mustafa : Im really sorry to read that waves are still shaking you intensely. You are a real example of strenght and I do hope you'll feel relief and more healing soon 🤗

 

@Colonial : thank you very much for sharing your experience ! I don't take acid reflux meds, and I'm glad to read that you don't suffer from it anymore, that's great !

Strangely, acid reflux seem to come in a windows and waves pattern in my case, and while it was huge lately, I don't have it this week 🙏

 

@getofflex : thank you dear, I know it has been a long road for you and I'm so glad you're starting to see the light ❤

 

@mstimc : thank you for your strong support !

Well, to be honest, I prefer lockdown. Don't get me wrong, I won't pretend that a pandemic is positive, not at all.

It's just that with lockdown people put less pressure on me, they are less annoyed when I don't manage to do much.

I don't think I'm anxious about Covid situation, I've lived isolated this year because of WD.

I can imagine how stressfull it might be while "living outside " : Please take good care ❤

And thank you for sharing your wiseness on SA, I often read your posts !

 

@brassmonkey : I'm glad to read that stopping the Toothpick sounds like a possible good idea, at least I'm not making wrong decisions 😉

I keep in mind the suggestion of a "rescue Toothpick".

Thank you. 

And I'm all ears if you have other ideas.

But I understand if it's not the case, I don't think I have many options : I'm probably in protacted Paxil WD after a failed switch, so my best bet is probably to wait.

I'm just shaken and exhausted because 2021 has been very hard so far with new symptoms or intense old ones and I don't manage to build more functionnality.

Tired to be housebound 😉

I often try to think " ok, let's act as if this was my situation for the rest of my life, let's build a life I can live with those symptoms". But despite selfcare routine and forcing every week I don't manage to do much.

When I manage to drive my car a bit or go to the grocery store, it feels huge and perhaps what people call a window ❤

But it doesn't happen often in 2021, and that's what scares me : I'm in the exact situation I was trying to avoid by doing a Prozac bridge, in intense WD from Paxil CT. 

I'm scared because in Success Stories people talk about years after a CT, and I'm sad because after those years of PAWS I'll still have a drug to carefully taper.

 

Anyway, I'm starting to ruminate and give power to negative thoughts here, so I'll better stop here and go to the garden to plant seedlings and  prepare the future 😉

 

Ps : I'm realising I'm writing a lot. Please don't feel like it needs an answer, and thank you for letting me express.

I live with supportive parents, but I find them a bit tired about WD these days, and I'm not sure they are really convinced about WD so I avoid to talk about it.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Mentor
4 hours ago, Erell said:

Well, to be honest, I prefer lockdown. Don't get me wrong, I won't pretend that a pandemic is positive, not at all.

It's just that with lockdown people put less pressure on me, they are less annoyed when I don't manage to do much.

I know what you mean!  I've always been a bit introverted so the isolation doesn't bother me too much.  It would be nice to be able to go to some of the places we would have liked to visit, but other than that it hasn't been too bad.  I do miss our son terribly, but I keep telling myself we'll see him in a few months.

 

And don't worry about writing too much.  Writing can be very therapeutic all by itself.  Keep posting!

 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to comment

@Erell

 

I don’t think any family member really understands WD from these meds. My husbands a good kind man but he can’t listen anymore because he can’t for the life of him understand why  I’m still going through withdrawal 21/2 years after starting my taper . And is even more staggered it’s going to take me another 18 months to be completely free of Paxil. And to be honest neither would I if I were him and he were me. 

 

It’s funny how our mind latches on to negative rather than positive stories .

you talk about years healing from CT and then to start taper .

How do you know this will be true? 
You  don’t none of us do. 
and ok so it may take a while. But look at it in a positive way. You’re first year of switch is almost done ✔️ your second year may bring you stability and you may  be able to start your taper at some point this year because you have not made changes and given your system the stability it needs to start to put things right . 
This is a truth. 
so please don’t be fooled by negative thoughts. 
stability has to come to you because you have and are doing everything right. 
today you have healed that little bit more 

tomorrow will be the same

and the day after ..

You  demonstrate all the right requirements for a survivor of WD and I’m proud of you Erell xx   

 

 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment

Hi @Erell

 

Il send you all my support.

 

Kisses

 

❤️

 

L

 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

I didn't thank you earlier, thank you ❤

 

@Longroadhome : I've read and re-read your wise post many times last ten days. I'm grateful (a lot) for your words!

 

@mstimc : oh I bet you might miss your son, good to know you'll hug him soon ! ❤

 

I won't dwell on symptoms too much because Wow March has been and still is pretty dark, and I'm probably in PMS this week which often makes internal restlessness and crazy thoughts worse.

+ while brushing my teeth I suddenly blocked my neck and have now the upper body "blocked" and painfull. Might try to see an ostéopathic pratictionner.

So nothing funny to share.

 

So I'll just share two facts :

 

- one small victory : it Will be two weeks since I stopped the Paroxetine toothpick.

As I'm struggling I have issues to celebrate, but still, two weeks Paxil free, longest time since years 💪☀️

 

- and one fun fact : since I'm on SA, I've never really understood why people insist so much on sleeping in a dark room when dealing with cortisol spikes.

Of course people do sleep in dark room, how would they sleep otherwise ?

This weekend I watched a silly video in USA, and I realised : you people don't have window shutters ?!

In my country, every window has a shutter + curtains.

It makes me laugh : now I understand this thread 😉😄

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike/

 

 

Sending huge hugs to all dear strong survivors ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Hi @Erell

Very funny the thing about shutters!

It remember me the first time I went in France in 1995. It was the first time of my life I was seeing shutter! 

And I loved that, because I like sleeping in very dark room. 

Have a good day!

Mimi79

2008-Today: various ADs, benzos and seroquel , initially for Anxiety Related Insomnia. (Absolutely no other mental issues than simple Insomnia!).

Numerous W/D and C/T of those meds. During those years, my GP diagnosed me with GAD, Depression, etc... It was all W/D related, I know now!

Fall of 2019, after too fast attempt to taper Mirtazapine, put myself in full blown W/D.
February 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

February 2021, I stupidly used some Ativan prn to cope with Mirtazapine W/D symptoms (By far worst mistake of all my life!!).

Became accidentally and rapidly addicted (within 2-3 weeks). Started taper immediately.

Actual medication: Mirtazapine: 40,0mg - holding-
Ativan Taper: Started at 0,29mg march 2021, 03-28 0.28mg/ 04-08 0.27mg/ 04-26 0.25mg/ (...) 10-29 0.18mg/ 04-05-22 0.17mg/ 08-25-22 0.16mg/ 09-15-22 0.15mg/ 10-22-22 0.14mg/…/ 01-12-2023 0.11mg /07-02-2024 switch to 1mg Valium /

14-02-2024 0,9mg Valium.

Supplements: Omega-3, Probiotic.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@erell I'm so sorry you are going through this wave.  I wish there was more I could do to help.  Please hang in there and don't give up.  Congratulations on being Paroxetine free!  This will get better in time.  We are all thinking about you.  I'm praying for you.  

 

 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy