Erell: struggling with paroxetine

[Fallensoul]

On 3/21/2021 at 1:59 PM, Erell said:

 

I agree, every journey are different and the outcome is the same : recovery. I don't doubt recovery, I trust those ahead us.

I'm just exhausted I think : since August 2019 I haven't had a day where I felt ok or good. Just days that were easier to survive, but always survival mode.

I have now forgotten how it feels to just Feel yourself or "ok", being able to take a nap or reading a book relaxed in your couch.

I know I'm not the only one, I know people do recover.

It's more about how staying strong during the long road.

 

 

Hey Erell, 

I'm also driving the hell road of paxil withdrawal, wd has so many faces and takes so long, its unbearable. The most heavy sympthoms for me are the absence of joy and motivation, (also derealisation and depersonalisation) and sometimes very tired. I'm also struggeling a long time and forgot how it is to live and not think about this hellish withdrawal.

I thought crossover to Clomipramine was a last chance of escape, but nothing works anymore and now I have another medicine to taper

Stay strong!
 

[mstimc]

On 3/31/2021 at 1:00 AM, Erell said:

n my country, every window has a shutter + curtains.

It makes me laugh : now I understand this thread

When we arrived in Portugal, I was surprised to see all the shutters.  They look very much like security shutters in the States, used to prevent burglaries.  I thought I was moving to a place where home burglaries were rampant--LOL!   And I was equally surprised to see almost no homes have screens on the windows--make it hard to keep the bugs out!  In the States, if we have shutters, they're usually made of wood and are on the inside of our windows, used for decoration as well as room darkening. 

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Erell,

Sending hugs, catching up on your thread. 

Oh, I wish we had shutters in the UK instead of just curtains. I loved shuttered windows, the room becomes so wonderfully dark.

xxx

[Rosetta]

Dear Erell,

 

I’m thinking of you.  You will get through this.  I know it’s hard, but I’m so glad you are off Paxil!

 

The shutters!  I enjoyed the shutters in Spain very much although in my tiny place I had to climb up on the bed to pull them down.  Sometimes, I found myself staring into the eyes of my neighbor who was hanging out the laundry.  So Awkward!  That type of shutter is called an “overhead door” in the U.S.  Our “shutters” are plantation shutters.  There are two on the window, and they open the same way that “French doors” open — from between the two, and then, we fold them back on either side of the window.  They have horizontal slats that pivot open or closed.  
 

We also have blinds as an alternative — long, horizontal slats on strings hanging from the top the window.  We pull the strings, and they pivot to block the light.  We can pivot them in the other direction to let light in at an angle but still have privacy.  Neither of these block the light as well as the European shutters that we call overhead doors.
 

Hang in there.  Don’t forget Epsom salt baths or make an oil for your skin from Epsom salts.  
 

All my best,

Rosetta

[Erell]

Glad I opened the discussion about shutters ! 😄😉

 

On 3/20/2021 at 9:54 PM, brassmonkey said:

 Stopping the daily toothpick is probably a good idea, but if things get really bad you could use a "rescue dose" on the toothpick. Just a once in a while thing to help in the really bad times. That little tiny amount should not cause any problems if used once in a while. We usually don't recommend skipping days to taper but with the toothpick there is not much of an option. Possibly using it every other day for a while and see what happens.

 

For the record, I took (barely) a Paroxetine toothpick this morning after 20 days off.

 

I didn't want to, but things are getting bad : it's not the usual high anxiety, I'm frozen in terror, in a constant sheer dread/doom state and even getting out of my bed or my room is terrifying. 

+ shaking/vibrating internally, lot of bowel mouvements,...

 

I'm a bit lost about how to help best my body. Paxil doesn't seem to leave me, but after one year I don't really have options.

 

One year after a switch to Prozac, What could be my best bet ?

 

(@Altostrata: I'm interested in your opinion, if you agree to share.)

 

☀️

 

Ps : I've talked about homeopathy in recent posts. Haven't tried yet, but decided to buy the suggested remedy.

Edited April 6, 2021 by Erell

[getofflex]

@ErellI'm sad that you are going through such a tough time with this.  I"ll continue to pray for you. 

[Fallensoul]

7 hours ago, Erell said:

Ps : I've talked about homeopathy in recent posts. Haven't tried yet, but decided to buy the suggested remedy.

Could you elaborate, whats the remedy is?

 

[Erell]

1 hour ago, Fallensoul said:

Could you elaborate, whats the remedy is?

Oh I can't really elaborate : I had a zoom appointment with an homeopath, he is a classically trained unicist homeopath  : those homepath only give one remedy at a time, to see how it affects you.

There are thousands of remedies : if I understood well, they try to understand your "constitutionnal nature" and then suggest the remedy that could fit well with you.

For example, in my case he suggested one remedy, but in your case it would probably be another remedy.

 

I'm not sure it's clear as I don't really believe in this and might try only because it gives a sense of hope.

 

I don't think there are "magical cure" to WD, and I don't want to publicize  homeopathy : I mentionned it to share and to specify that I hadn't added a new supplement.

 

Take care ☺

Edited April 6, 2021 by Erell

[Frogie]

@Erell

 

Bless your heart. I hope this works, as you deserve break!

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[arbor]

Dear @ErellI'm soooo sorry you're going through the terrors.  Unbearable!!  Until you sort out how you want to proceed, I'll share what has worked the best for me when w/d gets this bad.  I force myself to do deep breathing exercises, as I have found it to be the quickest way to lower the cortisol in my blood.  There are a number of videos online demonstrating techniques.  Basically:  Deep, deep inhale.  Hold.  Long exhale.  Repeat until you feel somewhat calmer.

 

Thinking of you--

Arbor

[Altostrata]

I am sorry you're experiencing this, Erell. As you know, in the past I have suggested 7mg Prozac may not be high enough to replace the 10mg paroxetine. I have also suggested increasing diazepam.

[Erell]

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I am sorry you're experiencing this, Erell. As you know, in the past I have suggested 7mg Prozac may not be high enough to replace the 10mg paroxetine. I have also suggested increasing diazepam.

 

Thank you for your answer 🙏

 

You're right :

 

- Diazepam : after your suggestion I increased (in October 2020) my dose two days. I stopped because the two nights were worsening : wake up every 40 minutes with jolts, surge of dread and "gasp for breath", impossibility to sleep.

I supposed that Diazepam wasn't helping and stayed at 1 mg.

 

- Fluoxetine : I remember you suggested an updose to 7.25mg.

After feeling hugely overstimulated with 7.5mg and 8mg (pacing all day, strong harm impulses), I didn't manage to make the move to 7.25mg.

+ I usually have a spike around 5/6pm : as you once mentionned Fluoxetine peak plasma 6/8 hours after ingestion, I was still wondering if I'm taking too much Fluoxetine.

 

Im sorry for my post and your time Alto, I realise that there's no answer.

I was hoping that by holding everything steady and grit my teeth I would eventually feel some relief.

 

Take care.

Edited April 7, 2021 by Erell

[Longroadhome]

@Erell

I know how hard it is to keep going when symptoms are so completely overwhelming

i am sorry for your pain. 
 

Keep moving forward as impossible as it seems keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

change will come x

[Longroadhome]

@Erell

 

just a thought 

it may be worth you looking at Arti thread. 
He has been suffering so much for a long time. 
He came off Paxil a while ago . 
Good news is he is just starting to have better moments. 
when you start to read his thread you may find it triggers you BUT what you will see is how much he has been through and how he has waited it out, what he has endured,  through to his recent more positive post x

[Hanna72]

Oh my dear sweet Erell 

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you have to endure all this pain for such a long period of time. I wish I could offer a solution for you, but unfortunately we are all so different, and what works for one might not work for another.

I am astonished of your endurance and faith. Those are a very unique qualities that define you as a person and you should be so proud of the person you are.  You are my super hero. 
I hope and pray that you will find a solution to ease your pain. You so deserve a break.

My thoughts are with you big hugs sent your way❤️

[Rosetta]

(((Erell)))

[Longroadhome]

@Erell

‘I am patient as I persevere. I remind myself to keep putting one step in front of the other and celebrate each step for the achievement that it is’ . 
Baylissa.com

 

Erell 
Paxil isn’t going to release us from its grasp with ease. It was always going to be a roller coaster ride not least because of how long we have been on it. And because it is such a powerful drug. 
But here’s the thing.. it CAN be done. 
And we CAN do it. Me and you. 
As impossible and overwhelming as it seems. 
I have your hand. 

[getofflex]

@Erellyou are in my thoughts and prayers.  Hang in there.  I believe it will get better. 

[brassmonkey]

Are you still doing the "toothpicks" of paxil?

 

[Erell]

Thank you dear survivors, your words are like warm hugs, I screen them ❤❤❤

Arbor : yes I like the deep belly breathing too ☺

 

11 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Are you still doing the "toothpicks" of paxil?

Hello Brassmonkey,

I hope you're doing ok.

 

- I stopped Paroxetine toothpicks on 17th March 2021.

- I took one "rescue" toothpick on 6th April 2021. I don't think it made a difference.

 

You once wrote that even in case of a failed switch, people might be able to stabilise. I trust the knowledge people have gained and do my best to hang on and wait to stabilise. 

But I have to admit that after one year I often doubt, my baseline and my functionnality doesn't seem to improve, and sometimes I feel like I'm worsening.

I also keep reading Aberdeen's story : it seems that she started to taper even if she was still in the chaos of a first CT. I admire her strenght but don't think I could take the risk to worsen my condition. And it seems that she had a few clear windows before tapering, which is not my case.

 

Take care ☀️

[Altostrata]

Erell, we need to do this the old-fashioned way. Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from Prozac.

[Erell]

3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Erell, we need to do this the old-fashioned way. Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. 

I will. 

Dailynotes are a bit all over the place lately, I'll focus on being more clear next days.

 

Thursday 8th April

 

6.30am : woke up with restless legs and "painfull anxiety". Deep breathing + mindfullness songbirds, sweet cloth + EFT.

7.30am : breakfast + 1 fishoil capsule. Feeling overwhelmed by dread, shaky.

9.15 am : 7mg Fluoxetine.

All morning : feeling overwhelmed by constant dread, "painful anxiety", shaky, feel like I could explode. Try to distract with sudokus, cook a bit. Lot of bowel movements.

11am try TRE exercices for 5 minutes. It seems to help a bit, to smooth a bit my body.

noon : eat lunch. Hard because I have the feeling that I don't know how to swallow and I could choke.

(This feeling appeared in July 2020).

2pm : still feel like TRE helped a bit to relax my mind and body. 

Go to walk outside. Not easy because the sky and the trees are scary and feels like a "cartoon" (this kind of DR appeared in the beginning of March 2021). But I manage to walk 30-40 minutes and not panic. Feel weird but also surprisingly in a good mood.

afternoon in the garden, still feeling like TRE helped a bit with dread. Feeling highly disconnected, foggy : I plant little seedlings to distract and use my hands.

5pm : feel like loosing ground : restlessness, weird feelings inside hard to describe, hot, dread, shaky.

Read Success stories.

6.30pm : take a shower to calm down a bit and distract.

7pm : 1mg Diazepam

7.30pm : eat diner.

Evening : dread/physical anxiety seem to lower. But I'm full of crazy thoughts/impulses. In my room, trying to distract with sudokus.

Fall asleep around midnight. Slight anxious sleep with dreams and waking up restless until 6am.

 

 

 

--》 about TRE : tre-trauma-releasing-exercises

--》 I follow a low histamine diet but eat everything (meat, cereal, fruits, vegetables, low sugar). I believe I have a healthy diet, my family eat organic food and cook.

I have issues to eat because of fear of choking and difficulty to swallow since July 2020 but I do my best to eat enough.

 

--》 Oct-Nov-Dec : constant struggle but I was able to pinpoint regularly easier minutes/hours and mark them in green in my calendar, and to see very slow improvements in my general baseline or small progress.

Last times I put a "green mark" on my calendar was 1st January and 27 February.

It's like if something has changed since January 2021 : no more feelings of progress, no more regular "ups", appearance of new symptoms, intensity of old ones.

 

Wonder if it's because this fall my body liked the reduction after too much Fluoxetine but now is struggling, or if it's just a shift in my Paroxetine WD.

 

Edited April 9, 2021 by Erell

[Hanna72]

Dear @Erell

I just wanted to pop in briefly here and tell you that I too have experienced the choking feeling and not being able to swallow food. It has gotten better as time goes on. 
I don’t know you but I genuinely care about your well-being. Your situation is in my opinion a state no one should ever have to endure let alone for a year. I have been there and I totally know what you are going through. I had forgotten about the intensity of wd, and how brutal it is, so again I am so sorry that you are suffering.
I am sure that brass and alto will be able to guide you towards a stabilisation, which should be your primary aim in my opinion.

You will get there🙏

You are an amazing person and my prayers and thoughts are with you always ❤️

 

[brassmonkey]

Hi @Erell  Aberdeen was one of my taper buddies, we started at Prior Place together. She had a very rough ride but has been drug free for years now and is doing quite well. Another member you might want to read about is Coldturkmama She CTed paxil the same time I started tapering. She also had a rough ride, paxil CT does that, but is well into recovery now.

 

Were the rescue doses having any affect when you stopped taking them?

[Erell]

7 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Were the rescue doses having any affect when you stopped taking them?

I honestly have no idea : when Altostrata suggested I jump off Paxil late September because I was probably overstimulated by too much Prozac (was taking 0.03mg at this time), I was in such a bad shape I was afraid. So from September 2020 to March 17th 2021 I took a Paxil toothpick every morning.

Might have been a silly idea, but it's done.

I don't think taking it or stopping it really made a difference. 

I stopped making progress and new symptoms appeared since January 2021, and I was still taking the rescue dose then.

 

 

11 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Aberdeen was one of my taper buddies, we started at Prior Place together. She had a very rough ride but has been drug free for years now and is doing quite well. Another member you might want to read about is Coldturkmama She CTed paxil the same time I started tapering. She also had a rough ride, paxil CT does that, but is well into recovery now

Oh yes, I love reading Coldturkmama's story!

But honestly I'm a bit afraid of the idea of 5/6 years of Paxil Paws while I'm taking Prozac.

I've read a lot of Success Stories from Paxil CT, so I know it can happen and often take years.

But I must confess that I have issues to accept that I might struggle that intensely for years while still taking Prozac. 

 

I'm trying to find stories of people who struggled with drug switches but managed to stabilise eventually.

 

That's why I often read Aberdeen's story : she started to taper the new drug while still being in Paws from her first drug. I would like to regain a bit stability before doing that, but it gives hope ☺

 

 

I'm sorry, I'm not sure my sentences are clear, hope so ☺

 

Oh and Brassmonkey, I hope you're ok on your side, I know this month has been challenging for your loving ones, huge hugs ❤

[Fallensoul]

On 4/6/2021 at 4:55 PM, Erell said:

Oh I can't really elaborate : I had a zoom appointment with an homeopath, he is a classically trained unicist homeopath  : those homepath only give one remedy at a time, to see how it affects you.

There are thousands of remedies : if I understood well, they try to understand your "constitutionnal nature" and then suggest the remedy that could fit well with you.

For example, in my case he suggested one remedy, but in your case it would probably be another remedy.

 

I'm not sure it's clear as I don't really believe in this and might try only because it gives a sense of hope.

 

I don't think there are "magical cure" to WD, and I don't want to publicize  homeopathy : I mentionned it to share and to specify that I hadn't added a new supplement.

 

Take care ☺

I know what you mean. I also counseling an orthomoleculair approach by another doctor, but it didn't do much. Drugs and damage by drugs are to strong and to disruptive to treat with a few supplements, time will be our healer though.

 

Take care too, there comes a time this will be over.

[brassmonkey]

Your writing is quite clear, no problems there.

 

I see the points you are making about your taper. Aberdeen crossed over to Effexor as you know, which is just as bad as paxil to work with. She ended up treating it like being in poopout and tapered through it. Which eventually worked as she stabilized. Let's see what your symptom diary shows and go from there.

 

Things are getting back to normal here. We both are rather enjoying lock down, being hardcore introverts. The grieving process is taking its course. It helps to realize that my SIL will not have to suffer the decline into dementia that she was starting to experience. That was going to be rough on all sides. Also it's not the first loss for either of us so we are familiar with emotional patterns.  We just got confirmation for our trip to India next spring and are quite excited to be getting back on the road, but still worried about the COVID situation. Still we are making plans for other trips too, will see what happens.

[Erell]

@brassmonkey, @Altostrata

(Let me know if it is not ok to tag you with my dailynotes)

 

Friday 9 April

 

6am : wake up with painfull physical anxiety, shaky. Eft, breathing.

7.30am : breakfast + 1 fish oil capsule. Go back to bed, lot of crazy thoughts/impulses.

9 am : 7mg Fluoxetine. Physical anxiety seems better than Yesterday, but I"m full of crazy thoughts and impulses + DR/DP + lot of bowel mouvements.

10 am : 30 min walk outside. Lot of "urges" feelings, mental and physical.

Feeling completely disconnected from my environnement, touch the trees to try to stay grounded.

noon : eat lunch. 

afternoon : same as morning : restlessness, DR/DP, crazy thoughts, physical and mental urges to "escape".

Want to cry but do my best to not crying because of parents and try to distract (puzzle, cross stich..), very restless. Feel like I want to scream, run, jump into my parents arms but do my best to hide.

6.30pm : feel a "shift" : restlessness and crazy thoughts better but physical anxiety/dizzy/dread intense.

7pm : 1mg Diazepam

7.30pm : eat diner. Still in this "dread and doom" state. 

8.30 pm : 1000mg Evening primrose oil.

Evening : restlessness and crazy thoughts still better, struggling with anxiety/dizzyness/feeling disconnected from my body.

Fall asleep around midnight, woke up around 5 am with painfull and restless legs and anxiety.

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by Erell

[getofflex]

@Erell my heart goes out to you.  I'm sad that you are suffering with this.  Hugs ((((Erell))))))

 

Can I just share what works for me?  When I get the urge to cry, I go ahead and cry. It usually lasts about 15 or 20 minutes.  When it is over, I feel spent and tired.  But then the next day I feel much better.  Even though crying can be from withdrawal and neuro emotions, tears can also be a cleansing purgative for the soul. 

 

Hang in there.  Someday this will end. 

Edited April 10, 2021 by getofflex

[Cocopuffz17]

Sorry to hear of the challenges you are going through. Things will get better. You will get through this and get to the other side. I know it  I am hoping all the best for you. You are strong and will win this fight! 

[Rosetta]

Thinking of you.  This is so tough, but you will get through it.

 

All my best, R

[Sebas]

Dear Erell,

 

In 09/2019 your CNS was disturbed and you used several supplements then. L-Triptophane is known to be a bad combination with paxil. In the months after your CNS was trying to recover and in this period you did some changes in your paxil dosage (8-10-15-10 mg). This has been one of the the causes for your CNS to not find its balance at that time.

In 04-2020 (relatively short time after) you decided to bridge which is very brave and eventually you'll be glad. I can imagine very well you wanting to get rid off paxil. Since then your CNS again is trying to recover with challenging withdrawal symptoms.

 

Here are a few questions and hints to provide some help;

- What did you have for lunch today?

- Why take omega 3 and then primrose oil, why not take the same omega 3 supplement two times a day (the more different supplements the more challenging for your CNS)?

- Masgnesium citrate is known to be calming but also effects bowel movements. I've had severe bowel problems and diarrhea for almost 10 weeks, this is one of the ways your nerve system is struggling and healing. Eventually this has gotten less intense. I stopped taking both omega 3 and magnesium for a short while cause CNS was to sensitive. Evaluate for yourself which dose is beneful.

- Going for 30m walk outdoor is a good thing👣, preferably in nature or a park. Try doing this on a daily or at least regular base. Physical activity in general is helpful, not intense but in a relaxed way. If you don't want to go outside, try to find some basic exercises to do indoor. Exercise gives positive energy to the brain and can be calming for stress/anxiety.

- After this you could take a rest, lie down, watch some t.v. or take an afternoon (power) nap. When napping, your heartrate automatically goes down so CNS gets rest to.

- Before falling asleep around midnight, try to start resting from 22.00🕙.  This will provide CNS with two extra hours of rest.

- Talking to some friends/family might be helpful to let them understand your situation or provide some care or help. Of course we're also here to help you get through this .

- 5 things that in my opinion are important during withdrawal are: 1. Rest, 2. (Positive) Mindset, 3. Physical (outdoor) activities 🍀or personal hobby's, 4. Eat healthy and 5. Faith. Focus on these values when you're feeling anxious. Anxious feelings are part of withdrawal and healing process. Positive mindset and faith help to overcome anxious feelings.

 

Cheers Sebas 🖐️ 🌼

 

[Altostrata]

Compared to how you feel in the morning before you take Prozac, do you feel better, worse, or the same after you take Prozac?

[Gridley]

10 hours ago, Erell said:

Fall asleep around midnight, woke up around 5 am

Erell,

 

My heart goes out to you.  I am so sorry you're suffering but it will end.  I wanted to point out a really good thing that you noted in your schedule--you got 5 hours of sleep.  For someone in WD, that's very, very good.  

[Erell]

21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Compared to how you feel in the morning before you take Prozac, do you feel better, worse, or the same after you take Prozac?

I think I feel the same after I take Prozac. 

 

Physical tension/restlesness/mood : 

I often feel better around 1/2/3pm, beginning of afternoon.

And I often feel a "shift" to worse around 5/6pm, end of afternoon.

And I feel better again around 10/11pm.

 

That's why I have issues to know if I'm just dealing with Paxil WD or if I'm also dealing with too much Prozac (peak plasma 6/7 hours after my dose, perhaps ? ).

-------------------------------------

 

@Gridley thank you 🤗

Yes, Im lucky because I always get 4/5/6 hours of sleep, even if it's a slight and anxious one. Im often surprised that my body manage to sleep despite the crazy tension during the day.

I'm grateful for this break 🙏

 

@Sebas thank you for all your suggestions ☺ 

- I eat a bit of everything, all organic : my lunch was made of grated carrots/a fresh piece of veal with celery mash/ homemade dessert with tapioca and coconut milk.

- well my supplements pattern is an old one, since 2019.

I've never managed to take more than 1 fish oil capsule, tried a few times, always made my restlessness worse.

And evening primrose oil : tried it in 2019 to help with menstrual cycle.

Not sure it did something.

- About magnesium : lately I have a lot of bowel mouvements but only during the 2/3 hours after I wake up. I think it might be related to high cortisol morning, because the rest of the day is fine.

- oh yes, walking is my best changing the channel tip 😉 I take a walk everyday.

I would love to take a nap after, but I can't nap : my body wake up in jolt and anxiety spikes.

But I do sessions of deep belly breath to try to rest.

- oh yes I have a bedtime routine before falling asleep : no sscreens, relaxation ☺

- Talking with family and friends is a hard one : I try a bit, but those around me are getting tired of WD, and doubt about it. 

And I'm not sure I still have friends, unfortunately.

And I don't want my parents to panic, I need them to stay patient with me.

 

@Rosetta , @Cocopuffz17, @getofflex  thank you for your support ☺

I hear you about crying : usually I find that a good cry helps to relieve some tension and to "clean the soul" a bit. 

But lately I found that it sometimes worsen my DP/DR and restlessness so I'm a bit wary. 

 

@Hanna72 : thank you dear 🤗 Oh yes, my aim is stabilisation, definitely : being able to drive to go to the grocery store, listen to music, read a book and perhaps take a nap, that's the life I dream.

You once mentioned endurance: that's the word, definitely.

I'm so glad you managed to stabilise ❤

Edited April 11, 2021 by Erell

[Erell]

@brassmonkey, @Altostrata

 

--》 this day was a weird one (nauseas, sickness,exhaustion),doesn't look like usual days.

So don't know if daily notes will help as it is possible that I might have a virus or something. 

 

Saturday 10th April

5am : wake up with painfull anxiety, restless legs.

Bodyscan, makes me drowse a bit.

7.30 am : breakfast + 1 fish oil capsule. 

9am : 7mg Fluoxetine. 

Still feeling painfull anxiety and restlessness.

9.30am : force myself to go to grocery store with my mum. 

Hard because of dread + everything feel "too much" : light, sounds, people.

10.30 am : strong sudden nauseas (rare).

Wonder if it's because my body is hungry, eat an apple + almonds.

noon : still strong nauseas, feel sick.

In the meantime, restlessness and anxiety are a bit better.

1pm : sudden exhaustion, can't keep my eyes open. Go to bed, don't manage to nap, my body keeps waking in jolts and anxiety spikes.

Afternoon : didn't do much : strong nauseas, feel sick, belly hurt, exhausted.

Struggle with intrusive thoughts but anxiety and restlessness are still better. It's weird, it's like if strong exhaustion/sickness helped with physical tension.

Took a 15min walk.

7pm : 1mg Diazepam.

Still feeling sick.

Eat a bit diner.

8pm : go to bed. 

1000mg evening primrose oil.

Exhausted and nauseas ++. Anxiety but no extreme surges.

Feeling disconnected, DR/DP.

Start drowse around 11pm.

Slight anxious sleep with nightmares and waking up until 6am.

 

 

Edited April 11, 2021 by Erell