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Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

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Posted (edited)

Thank you ❤

Your words mean more than I can say.

 

I agree, my only wish and aim is to stabilise and being able to live a bit more. Just being able to drive to the grocery store, or read a book would be amazing.

Honestly, I would have increased Fluoxetine long ago if I hadn't have such a strong reaction to my updose in August 2020, and it was only a 0.5mg updose.

I ended with restlessness and unability to sit still, and terrible thoughts/impulses that are still with me.

So it seems that I'm in Paxil WD, but my body doesn't accept more Prozac.

 

Thats why I've done "nothing " since 8 months, keeping everything steady and practicing selfcare tools and hoping I could regain functionnality as time passes.

 

People seem to believe that I'm courageous, but honestly I'm not. 

I'm at the end of my rope.

I just keep going hoping the next day Will be easier. 

 

 

I'm very thankful for the incredible support of people h3re and can't thank enough ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Fallensoul

I know I'm not in a position to give advises, but maybe you should try a (micro)taper and see if it's get better? 
I dont know what other mods are thinking about this, but I just want to share it.

1998-2020  Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week 2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct 2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Wellbutrin 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct 2020/08 Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine to 50mg, adverse effect, restless, panic, low mood, anxiety, fast taper down to 30 (plan is go to ~20 and hold and taper only parox. and benzo's and maybe Mirt if I sleep)

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night 2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3. 2021/04/18 M 2,4. 2021/04/24 Cl 22. 2021/04/29 M2,3, P5,28. 2021/05/8 Cl 21,5.

2021/05/9   M 2,2, P 5,22. 2021/05/12 Cl back to 22, everything on hold now to stabilise.

 

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Erell that might be worth trying to go under 7 mg, very small cut, and see if it helps. Finding the sweet spot is trial and error.

I would ask alto if that’s something you should give a try.

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

12/5 2021- 8.5 mg fluoxetine, holding 

 

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Subzero42

Erell, maybe you should consider switching back to Paxil, of course I’m not anything near an expert although I am a proof that updose of a drug can work even after a very long time.

 

Take care

2017 Feb : Lexapro 10mg.

2017 May : Lexapro 20mg.

2017 Nov : CT Lexapro

2017 Dec Reinstated Lexapro 20mg.

2018 Feb : Lexapro 20 + Effexor 75

May to December : Taper Lexapro 

2019 Apr : Effexor 56mg

2019 May : Effexor 37,5mg

2019 Jun : Effexor 18,75mg

2019 Aug : Reinstated Effexor 37,5mg.

2020 Oct : Slowly updose Effexor

 

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Altostrata

Since you feel so poorly after taking fluoxetine in the morning, my guess is the amount is too strong for you. You might reduce by 0.25mg, see what happens.

 

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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getofflex

@Erell I am right there with you now.  I went into a wave at 1:00 AM this morning when I woke up with my feet feeling like they were on fire.  Very strange, this ADWD.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10 

Trazodone.  used 50 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, stopped

Xanax. used 0.5 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, stopped

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, multivitamin, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg, calcium

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sunnysideup69

Hey @Erell,

I just wanted to catch up on your thread and say hello and offer you a hug.

I'm sorry you're suffering so badly. I know very well how awful it is to feel you're making progress and then to have slipped backwards. Unfortunately, it's all part of the process. 

I also think that January to March are tough as we're in winter, our bodies have had enough of the dark. I believe this affects our mood anyway, so it can surely make WD worse. 

Also, it could simply be a wave. A long one, sorry to say. All part of healing from that Paxil devil. Unfortunately, it's a horrid drug to come off, but you've done it! And now your body is trying to restabilise.

It has taken me a LONG time to stabilise, but I have, and you will, too. I have no doubt about that.

You are doing everything you can and time will heal you. I know for myself that when I'm feeling crappy, I feel I should be doing X, y and z, making this change and that, to get better.....but actually, what helps most is just surrendering to how things are and letting time pass.

 

Sending you masses of love and hugs from London xxxxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 200mg Magnesium Glycinate

 

 

 

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  • Moderator

Hello dear folks,

 

I'm sorry for not answering earlier to your suggestions. 

I received many different advices and it was a bit triggering for my panicky mind.

No blame at all : I'm the one who asked for answers, and you are all an amazing bunch of generous people who are trying to help, and I can't thank you enough for your bright support ❤

 

I'm thinking carefully about the different options people suggested.

Ultimately, it has to be my decision and I have to take the responsability for it, I know that.

I just have lost trust in my instinct and have issues to know which is my inner voice and which is just fear voice. 

 

I'm also having some issues with coping skills.

I've read a lot about CBT and Claires Weekes this year. But I still don't know how to apply what I learn.

- CBT is about Exposure therapy. I find it interesting as anxiety and intrusive thoughts are big symptoms in my case.

In the meantime, I find that Exposure is often too harsh in WD : for example I've developed a strong agoraphobia and I Expose myself regurlaly to try to teach my brain. But with sensory overload, it's not just about anxiety : sounds, light, mouvements are often too much and I never know when Exposure is a good idea and when it's too much for someone in WD.

- Ultimately, Claire Weekes teach us Acceptance, float. I also often think about "capitulation, surrender " that Brassmonkey often talks about.

I'm learning and trying to "float" through symptoms. I think I manage to do it better with DR/DP, and sometimes with fear.

But I don't manage to apply it to the harm intrusive thoughts that appeared this year.

I don't feel like I can surrender to these thoughts, so I must confess that I'm mostly in fight/distraction/avoidance strategies with this symptom.

And honestly I don't know how to stop the fight/flight answer to these thoughts, as Exposure feel too much and I don't want to be a danger for people.

Perhaps this particular symptom is one "teacher" that Shep talks about, but I've not managed yet to learn from it.

 

 

 

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all and wish you a sweet and smooth day ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • Moderator
getofflex

Erell, I too distract myself from dark and intrusive thoughts.  I think that is a good thing, it's changing the channel. Please hang in there.  It's very difficult, I know.  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10 

Trazodone.  used 50 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, stopped

Xanax. used 0.5 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, stopped

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, multivitamin, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg, calcium

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SeekingMeaning

I agree that exposure therapy is too harsh for some of us.  I've never found any appeal in CBT.  ACT is the closest to CBT I can get.  But I also experience sensory overwhelm and I don't believe, certainly for myself, that it is good to push through that to excess.  I have some activities I will push on, for instance I try to ensure I turn up for the daily dog walk with my husband and two dogs.  That is safe, local, and though challenging, it's generally survivable.  Having made that my 'thing' I do not push myself to go to a shop.  That's just too much and thankfully my husband is willing to go for food and all else I do without unless I can get it online.  I don't feel bad about that these days though it has taken time to be at peace with this being me and it's ok to be me.

I am an old hand with dark intrusive thoughts.  Some of the tips I can share though, are applicable to my 'native' dark thoughts, the ones I have had troubling me for years.  When I was in WD hell a few weeks ago none of the strategies could rescue me so I appreciate how hard it is.

 

For self-harm imagery I would make it my practice to massage gentle lotions into the area of my body that the harm was ideated towards.

 

For harm to others, it helped me not to banish it with fearful reaction.  I tried to see it for what it is, the product of a person in extreme distress, pushed beyond their tolerance and wanting to lash out.  Similar to the self-harm repair idea it can sometimes help to deliberately turn towards opposite thoughts, images of doing kindness even if imagined rather than real actions.

 

For intrusive 'visions' I have of scenes of cruelty I have seen, on TV, heard about, whatever, that tend to replay to me almost out of the blue, I have mentally collected stories that tell the opposite picture, stories of people who have been kind and generous beyond all expectation.  Mother Theresa type stories.  Sometimes it can help to physically get up and move to a different seating place while I'm doing this, as a conscious marker for choosing a different point of view.

I hope something in that can reassure, support you.  I continue to wish for your healing. x

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. Stopped completely after joining this site and discovering it's psychoactive too.

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took.  Probably only ever had one pack of zopiclone for crisis period.

After seeing psychiatrist for first time I was put on sertraline, stopped lorazepam and reduced olanzapine to 2.5mg daily.  Limited improvement with sertraline led to increasing dose to 200mg daily sustained till March 2020.

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex, primarily looking for Riboflavin based on recommendations for Migraine treatment.  So successful I hardly ever took any over 2020 just occasionally to treat my extreme fatigue.

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Mar2021 experimenting with my Mg 500mg and CoQ as fatigue is pretty limiting.  No apparent side effects.

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Fallensoul

I also doubt exposure will work in a drug disrupted brain. It aren't your thoughts, it's drug induced.

 

I have also sensimotor ocd, and that only manifest when changing drugs, dose change or drug change, I never had this in my whole life.

This is one of my most tough, difficult and fearsome thoughts.

But when in a window, I cann't imagine that it scares me.

The difference in relativation is extreme in wd and is the keyfactor in coping these tough times.

 

But when this drugged state get/is less, then it can maybe speed up recovery. This is how it works with me, and probably I'm not the only one.

 

I also force myself to walk with the dog, and often I feel better after it.

But sometimes it can be to much, esp. just after wakeup I can't handle all the action.

 

 

1998-2020  Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week 2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct 2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Wellbutrin 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct 2020/08 Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine to 50mg, adverse effect, restless, panic, low mood, anxiety, fast taper down to 30 (plan is go to ~20 and hold and taper only parox. and benzo's and maybe Mirt if I sleep)

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night 2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3. 2021/04/18 M 2,4. 2021/04/24 Cl 22. 2021/04/29 M2,3, P5,28. 2021/05/8 Cl 21,5.

2021/05/9   M 2,2, P 5,22. 2021/05/12 Cl back to 22, everything on hold now to stabilise.

 

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  • Mentor

Hi Erell

 

One of the foundational principles of CBT is self-compassion and self-kindness.  Don't beat yourself up because you're not in a place to do major exposure therapy right now.  Congratulate yourself on managing some of your DP/DR sensations.  I've found one way to calm the flight or flight feelings is to spend a few minutes doing vipassana-style mindful breathing--just repeating the words "breathe in" and "breathe out" in rhythm with your breath.  Even if you spend just a few seconds concentrating on your breathing, it breaks the fear/fight thought pattern and calms the body.  Its a small start but the key is to do what you can.  Eventually the fears will fade and you'll be back in a solid recovery pattern.

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Rosetta

Exposure therapy? No, not in WD.  CBT made sense to me, theoretically, before I knew I was in WD.  I made progress with it when I was having very long windows after I had an adverse reaction to Paxil over 20 years ago.  At that time, I didn’t know I had PWS or that W&W were patterns in recovering from that.  
 

During a wave, I do not think it’s a good idea to deliberately think about or bring up ideas that are upsetting for you in WD.  The intrusive thoughts are traumatic enough.  Waves can be very long with short, fleeting windows in between.  Just the memory of working through CBT exercises on a difficult topic can make a wave more miserable, in my view.
 

I suppose that learning CBT during those windows would be useful, but I would use very silly examples to practice it rather than real-life problems.  Gaining understanding of the concept and practicing going through the steps with silly, harmless examples might be an option for you.  Later, when your system has calmed down, and you can cope much better, then thinking through the CBT steps about the subject matter of intrusive thoughts might be helpful. For now, it’s not going to help very much to resolve the issue because your brain isn’t stable.  
 

I’m not saying CBT is useless, but it might be more harmful than useful when withdrawal is at a high point.  It would be like telling someone without legs that she could run a marathon if only she could learn to control her thoughts through CBT.  Your brain isn’t responding normally to stimulus, and it is recognizing harmless stimulus as dangerous.  You could make progress during a window, if you have them, only to see it disappear during a wave.  I think it would serve you well over the long run, but at what cost?  Distraction is definitely the best way until withdrawal is much less intense.

 

Thinking of you, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Hi Erell

Just my two cents.

Last year, I did exposure therapy to treat my intrusives thoughts from mirtazapine w/d, and it wasn't a good idea.

When I was in a window, the exercice seemed useless to me, as I was no more afraid of my thoughts.

When I was in a wave, it was very painful, it exacerbated the thoughts. No fun.

When I realized I was losing my time ( and  money), I stopped it. Anyway, as the windows were longer and more frequent, there was no more intrusive thoughts.

I think for now, distraction and acceptance is the best thing to do.

I have found a mindfulness meditation specific for intrusive thoughts, and it helped me a lot. I try to do it everyday.

 

Je pense à toi très fort! On lâche pas, on va y arriver!

 

Anne-Marie

2008-2019: various ADs at various doses, initially for anxiety related insomnia.

2015: C/T Paxil - GP switch me to Mirtazapine and Pristiq. 2018: Switched Pristiq to Venlafaxine (For tapering)

2019-01: Stopped Venlafaxine after a 10 months taper. Updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

Summer 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine. Sept 2019, down to 30mg, hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg.

Tried escitalopram 10mg, C/T after 4 weeks. Tried Buspar, C/T after 5 days.

Jan 2020: Second mirtazapine weaning attempt, but end of january, big wave of symptoms, back to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: 50mg quetiapineXR, CT after 1 week. 21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Quetiapine 25mg  PRN since may 2019, March 2020 stopped.

Mirtazapine taper, from 45mg:  2020-10-21 43.88mg, 10-28 42.75mg, 11-04 41.63mg, 11-11 40.5mg, 11-24 41.6mg, 12-03 42.20mg, updose 2021–01-15 to 42,7 and holding.

Ativan prn since jan 2021. Became accidentally dep. March 2021.
2021-03-21 Ativan 0,29mg / 2021-03-28 0.28mg/ 2021-04-08 0.27mg/ 2021-04-26 0.25mg

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, D vit, Probiotic.

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

I feel an amazing sense of gratitude as I read your posts : THANK YOU ☀️

 

As I'm regularly wondering if Im trying enough, when I see that some people manage to work for example, regularly wondering if I should force myself more but in the meantime feel like often forcing just lead to more symptoms, it is very nice to read that you too find that Exposure can be too much.

 

And I agree : when symptoms fade, you don't even need Exposure because your CNS is simply able to do more.

I realise that : last time I felt better, on 1th January, I felt bored. And it was weird to feel bored. Because usually I don't have time to feel bored, I just feel overwhelmed.

And while feeling bored, I decided to call an old friend and take a walk with her. I wasn't thinking about Exposure, I was thinking about doing something that I wanted to do.

 

 

It's probably because I'm in a very long "wave" since January, same day every day, housebound, that I feel a pressure to feel a change, to be able to do more.

 

So ok, no more pressure to expose myself. I'm ill, unfortunately suffering from Paws and doing my best everyday. Its not much but it's my best.

And I'll keep on surfing as best as I can until feeling bored again.

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Rosetta

Are you unable to go for walks?  Do you live on a city or where you can’t avoid traffic and people to get from your house to a park?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Are you unable to go for walks?  Do you live on a city or where you can’t avoid traffic and people to get from your house to a park?

I'm lucky, and can take walks, I do it everyday, even if it's for 5 or 20 minutes, I need it.

And I'm also lucky because my parents live in the countryside, near a forest.

Almost everyday I go in the forest, walk, sit, listen to songbirds, watch insects, listen to the water sound in the little creek.

It's my safe place, my place to hide if needed, to cry if I don't want my family to hear me.

There are days when agoraphobia and terror spikes even in this "safe place" and I struggle to leave my room.

Other days where DR hits hard and the sky and the trees scare me, they look too weird. 

But I've started to hug them sometimes and it helps to ground.

Sometimes all the songbirds scare me and feels too much.

But still, I'm very lucky to have this place and my forest as been a lifesaver last months ☀️

It's the place where I try to ground/touch/smell/listen.

The place where I try to find energy and hope in nature, try to nurture myself to find the strenght to keep going.

 

(Oh I see that I might not use well the word "housebound". I consider the forest the same as the house as it is the garden of my parents'house.

I use "housebound" because I spend my days in the house and in the forest that goes with the house, I rarely manage to go elsewhere.

I'm very sorry if I've offended someone who lives in the city or don't have a garden and can't leave the house. It was not my intention and I'll be careful to not use this term in the future.)

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post

@Erell as mimi79 says at different stages in wd symptoms different things help and some things do not. And then factor in we are all different. With me walks in the woods is always good if my physical energy is there. Most of time being busy and doing things with positive friends and family does help me. But at different times during wd worse symptoms, then rest and relaxation. And being alone helps but it is rare for me.  Erell just do what you can when you can in moving toward your normal life pre wd. Hang in there! 

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml,

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@Erell oh yes laying down by a fast moving creek or river 👍 my favorite !!

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml,

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"I'm sorry for not answering earlier to your suggestions. 

I received many different advices and it was a bit triggering for my panicky mind."

 

Take small steps, one thing at a time. Start with least drastic then afterwards (re)evaluate and restore if necessary 🍀🦋🌤. 

  • I'm a 42 years old male
  • I've got a job in business and economics
  • I'm into sports, animals and nature
  • I started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety
  • I attempted several times to stop using Paroxetine, starting a few years after 2004
  • I found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper
  • I started using liquid Seroxat suspension in 2015/2016
  • From 20 mg to 12 mg, I went down 5-10%
  • From 12 mg down I was forced to take smaller steps (0,2 ml/4-6 weeks)
  • 09/2018 at 5,6 ml (11,2 mg) of Seroxat Suspension fluid
  • 11/2018 Switch back to 5,7 ml (11,4 mg)
  • Started trying the brassmonkey micro-taper method end dec 2018
  • Current dose 5,6 ml (11.2 mg) 4/2021 after >1 year of withdrawal issues (several food sensitivities and conflicts with painkillers, caffein, grapefruit, chocolate etc.)
  • First goal is to reach 10mg (2022)
  • Also reading about bridging/switching to fluoxetine
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Rosetta

Wow.  How wonderful to have that place.  Yet, I understand what you mean as I went through a period when leaving home was very hard.  I was terrified even to walk outside.  DR is scary until one gets used to it or some healing has happened that makes it less scary.  
 

Traffic is very upsetting for me.  That is not because of WD.  I think it is upsetting for everyone whether they realize that or not, but while in WD? Ugh.  It’s very lucky that you do not have to walk down a busy street to find nature.  Being able to walk in that forest will heal you.
 

I live on a dirt road and have a 56 acre park right across the road.  It’s lovely.  There are so many oak trees and sycamores and a year-round stream, but there are other people there.  If there is a cloud cover, I can hear the freeway.  The roads around the park are busy and do not have a low speed limit, except mine, but it is a little slice of heaven, nonetheless.  
 

Long waves take a toll.  Of course, you are doing enough.  Resting, walking and eating.  That is all you need to do.  I mean this.  If you feel better, you could do something extra as long as you are careful to not over do.  Let your brain heal.  That’s all you should be responsible to do.  My husband has been very good about taking care of me and telling me to “cool it.”  He understands what happened.  I’m very grateful for that.  I try to do things for him when I can, and, fortunately, that is more often these days.  There was a time when I couldn’t do much of anything, and if I tried, I made a mess, hurt myself, had a meltdown or all three!

 

All my best, Rosetta
 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Mentor
On 4/19/2021 at 12:53 PM, Erell said:

I'm very sorry if I've offended someone who lives in the city or don't have a garden and can't leave the house. It was not my intention and I'll be careful to not use this term in the future.)

Hi Erell

 

No offense taken!  😃  We live in an apartment in the middle of town but we can walk to the beach in about 15 minutes, and we often spend two hours walking along the shore.  Anything that connects us with nature is helpful.

 

Part of anxiety and OCD is blaming yourself for "offenses" that don't really exist.  You clearly didn't mean your comment in an offensive way and I think we call get that.  Look at it as another opportunity for some self-compassion and kindness.  Positive thoughts going your way!

 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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wantrelief

Hello lovely Erell - I have to agree with @Rosetta that you are doing what you can do. Your body/brain knows what it is doing and you will naturally do more when you feel like you want to. You also do so well using coping tools to get yourself through your days. There isn't much more that can be done....your brain is working hard in the background healing itself and getting back to homeostasis. Hang in there, Erell, you are doing really really well (even if you don't feel that yourself). :)

 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%)

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Thank you dears, really, I love reading you ❤

And thank you for thinking that I'm doing well : while living with people who would like me To do more, it is nice to read you.

I try my best to do things for them, but often don't manage to do all I would like and might look like a lazy person for those around me.

What a journey we are living right ?

 

@wantrelief : thank you dear, you're lovely for reminding me that my brain is doing his best to heal ❤

 

@mstimc : self love and compassion, thank you for the reminder. And glad you were not offended 😉

And you re absolutely right, I'm always afraid of hurting people, need to work on this...!

 

@Rosetta oh I'm so glad to read that your husband is supportive, this is a gift and you deserve it ☀️

And you made me laugh ...yes, try to do more, then mess while cooking, hurt yourself with the heath, then cry because of it...know this very well 😉

 

@Sebas : thank you, small steps ❤

I also know that you are thinking about a possible bridge to Prozac. 

Please don't think I'm the only example : I have been unlucky, but there are also examples of people it helped. 

Feel free to reach if you want.

 

@Heath : thankyou ! I'll send you big healing vibes while listening to the creek ❤

 

 

-------

 

I'm struggling a lot with intrusive thoughts and impulses. 

I'm so tired of being afraid of myself.

I'm not an angry person and don't even feel anger, and yet I have terrible ideas/thoughts and impulses.

I'm doing my best to Navigate with this since last summer. Had relief in December and thought it was gone for good ❤

And tortured 24/7 by the fear of loosing control, going insane and being a danger. 

It's like a constant feeling of going insane, mental but also very physical. 

 

I know that these are illusions from a destabilised CNS, never had this issue before my AD switch.

And yet I need someone telling me that I will never act, that I can't loose ground or touch with reality, that people stay in control even in WD. 

I don't manage to practice acceptance while feeling like it could lead me to madness.

 

How to deal with uncertainty, with the possibility of going insane ?

 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Longroadhome

You’re not going mad @Erell . Many many times I have felt the same. 
 

if you have not already I urge you to have a telephone consultation with Baylissa. You can do this without being a member . Just  login on her web baylissa.com and through to consultations. 
there’s no one better qualified to reassure you that the feelings you are having are normal in WD. Many of us have similar. 
you will not go insane. They will subside. 
 

I understand completely the terror of being consumed by WD impulses and thoughts. Please know you will NOT Lose it. It is the WD brain talking. Don’t be fooled. Nobody has ever gone insane from

WD.
you’re parents will not understand how could they? 
do whatever is needed to get through each day. 
and if that means doing very little so be it. 

Let  the thoughts come don’t fight them. It’s an injury to your brain and the symptoms is the brain in the process of putting things right.  
take 1 minute 1 hour 1day at a time. Get up each morning and put 1 foot in front of the other. Keep pushing forward . x
 

 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

April 2021   Pregabalin - 18mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Dear Erell,

 

I'm following your topic in the first place to help you through this tough period 🦋👊. Indeed i've also been reading about bridging, the specific topic alto made in 2011 is very helpful. Do you think you were stable (no withdrawal symptoms) when you started bridging in april 2020? I really think you should very carefully consider small adjustments. I changed my diet last week (avoid spices) and immediately noticed some positive changes. Have you considered tapering down primrose oil a little bit? Perhaps just a quarter, then evaluate. Like alto said the prozac could also be somewhat overwhelming. In bridging topic (p.3) i read a post about 5mg being almost as effective as 10 or 20mg but less side effects. I also understand you sticking to holding strategy after 8 months. Thats why i suggested tapering supplement cause it might be least drastic for short term. Like longroad said don't believe too much in your current thoughts cause they're misleading and just cognitive symptoms. I know from experience how real they may seem. Accept and ignore.

 

Have faith 🌲 (tree for hugging)

  • I'm a 42 years old male
  • I've got a job in business and economics
  • I'm into sports, animals and nature
  • I started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety
  • I attempted several times to stop using Paroxetine, starting a few years after 2004
  • I found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper
  • I started using liquid Seroxat suspension in 2015/2016
  • From 20 mg to 12 mg, I went down 5-10%
  • From 12 mg down I was forced to take smaller steps (0,2 ml/4-6 weeks)
  • 09/2018 at 5,6 ml (11,2 mg) of Seroxat Suspension fluid
  • 11/2018 Switch back to 5,7 ml (11,4 mg)
  • Started trying the brassmonkey micro-taper method end dec 2018
  • Current dose 5,6 ml (11.2 mg) 4/2021 after >1 year of withdrawal issues (several food sensitivities and conflicts with painkillers, caffein, grapefruit, chocolate etc.)
  • First goal is to reach 10mg (2022)
  • Also reading about bridging/switching to fluoxetine
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  • Mentor
2 hours ago, Erell said:

And yet I need someone telling me that I will never act, that I can't loose ground or touch with reality, that people stay in control even in WD. 

That's your anxiety and OCD demanding you pay attention to give them power.  They are selfish and want all your energy.  In WD, our thoughts take on a power of their own, but they are only as powerful as we let them be.  I sometimes suffer from episodes of heavy guilt over some pretty trivial things in the past, and I need to remind myself these thoughts don't make me a bad person.   I think we've all faced the fear of losing our minds during WD but you won't.  Try to remind yourself its your thoughts jumbled by and exaggerated by WD.  You will recover!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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16 hours ago, Erell said:

Thank you dears, really, I love reading you ❤

And thank you for thinking that I'm doing well : while living with people who would like me To do more, it is nice to read you.

I try my best to do things for them, but often don't manage to do all I would like and might look like a lazy person for those around me.

What a journey we are living right ?

 

@wantrelief : thank you dear, you're lovely for reminding me that my brain is doing his best to heal ❤

 

@mstimc : self love and compassion, thank you for the reminder. And glad you were not offended 😉

And you re absolutely right, I'm always afraid of hurting people, need to work on this...!

 

@Rosetta oh I'm so glad to read that your husband is supportive, this is a gift and you deserve it ☀️

And you made me laugh ...yes, try to do more, then mess while cooking, hurt yourself with the heath, then cry because of it...know this very well 😉

 

@Sebas : thank you, small steps ❤

I also know that you are thinking about a possible bridge to Prozac. 

Please don't think I'm the only example : I have been unlucky, but there are also examples of people it helped. 

Feel free to reach if you want.

 

@Heath : thankyou ! I'll send you big healing vibes while listening to the creek ❤

 

 

-------

 

I'm struggling a lot with intrusive thoughts and impulses. 

I'm so tired of being afraid of myself.

I'm not an angry person and don't even feel anger, and yet I have terrible ideas/thoughts and impulses.

I'm doing my best to Navigate with this since last summer. Had relief in December and thought it was gone for good ❤

And tortured 24/7 by the fear of loosing control, going insane and being a danger. 

It's like a constant feeling of going insane, mental but also very physical. 

 

I know that these are illusions from a destabilised CNS, never had this issue before my AD switch.

And yet I need someone telling me that I will never act, that I can't loose ground or touch with reality, that people stay in control even in WD. 

I don't manage to practice acceptance while feeling like it could lead me to madness.

 

How to deal with uncertainty, with the possibility of going insane ?

 

 

@Erell my heart aches for you. I have been following your progress, as your story is very similar to mine. Although I didn't do a Prozac bridge... instead my psych cold switched me from Paxil to Mirtazapine nearly 2 years ago. It was then that my already crumbling world (due to Paxil poopout), hit a new low and I have been suffering from akathisia and all the other mental torture you mention. They added Quetiapine and Benzos for a month or so to try and dampen things but that has no effect. I too have been frozen in fear not knowing what to do... questioning whether all of this horror is from the sudden cessation of Paxil, or rather, the Mirtazapine disagreeing with me. Always tortured in the question of do I hold (incase its paxil wd and will settle) or do I need to get off this new poison asap (and hope that once I reduce symptoms will ease). Knowing that if I choose the wrong path, I could descend further into hell. I have no room to go further down. I'm struggling with grief over my mums Alzheimers... I have next to no coping skills. There's no room for error. So I feel for you so very very much. I'm there with you. I did have one brief moment of hope yesterday (like you I seek success stories)... I watched a video on the FB group Inner Compass Conversations (check them out, they're great)... it was a video by Chris Page on healing while still on meds. It gave me hope. Check it out.

Sending healing vibes that we can find our way out of hell soon xxx

 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

 

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

Untitled document.docx

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  • Moderator
getofflex
On 4/19/2021 at 2:53 PM, Erell said:

Almost everyday I go in the forest, walk, sit, listen to songbirds, watch insects, listen to the water sound in the little creek.

It's my safe place, my place to hide if needed, to cry if I don't want my family to hear me.

Oh sweet Erell, that sounds wonderful.  I live in a city and wish I had a place like this.  I do drive out to the country for hikes in the woods when I can, and it is wonderful.  My heart hurts to hear what you are going through.  I continue to pray for you and think about you.  Please, please don't give up.  Someday, this will get better!  

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10 

Trazodone.  used 50 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, stopped

Xanax. used 0.5 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, stopped

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, multivitamin, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 3 mg, calcium

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  • 3 weeks later...

((Erell)). I’m sorry you cry.  Do you feel better afterward?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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@Erell

 

checking in you don’t have to reply just know I’m thinking of you


Keep going 

 

Keep using your coping skills

 

You managed yesterday and you can manage today

 

A beautiful tomorrow awaits you ..  peace tranquility and happiness

   

 

 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

April 2021   Pregabalin - 18mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Moderator

Hello, thank you for your support ❤

 

I Didn't reply earlier because my mind would have asked the same questions  😉

So I've printed posts and read them again when I feel like I can't keep going or when I feel like going insane.

Thank you very much, your insight and support really does help ❤

 

I'm not gonna lie, it's hard, really hard.

I spend all day long with awful thoughts and feelings. 

I just do my best to change the channel, walk, cook, be in the garden, breath, try to find safe spaces in my body, do my best to not react, focus on the sunny side of the street.

But everyday is like being kept in a horror movie, it's like if my mind is constantly torturing myself, playing over and over the worst movies, painfully hitting me with the worst.

I know all these are just illusions from an injuried CNS but it constantly feels so real.

Before my switch I didn't know someone could be tortured like this by his own mind.

 

I cry sometimes when everything is too much, and it does sometimes help.

 

I've also carefully tapered my Evening primrose oil dose from 1000mg to 500mg. 

I don't know if it has made a difference, I don't think so.

But it does feel good to lowering something.

 

I'm thinking about perhaps doing a 1% drop of my Prozac dose soon.

 

I'm really grateful for all those who share their stories and experience on SA, it really does help to hang on.

 

Take care ☀️

 

 

-----------

 

I just realised there was actually an important survey. If you feel strong enough, please take a look :

 

2021 IMPORTANT WITHDRAWAL SURVEY, PLEASE PARTICIPATE: https://uelpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0AR9IsQ61jsiXBk

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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4 hours ago, Erell said:

I spend all day long with awful thoughts and feelings. 

Oh Erell I am so sorry you are suffering so.  I know it sounds impossible but it will pass.  I felt the same as you are describing and it did change.

 

Whenever I read your posts, I greatly admire all you are doing to help yourself despite feeling so unwell.....it is very impressive!

 

Keep hanging on as you are doing.....you are going to okay.

 

Sending you lots of hugs ~ WR 💗

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%)

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I'm sorry to hear it is still so bad.

I also have a big dip after the last two paroxetine dose drops.

 

Crying sometimes help, I hope you start seeing better times soon, it cann't stay like this forever. Have faith!

 

1998-2020  Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week 2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct 2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Wellbutrin 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct 2020/08 Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine to 50mg, adverse effect, restless, panic, low mood, anxiety, fast taper down to 30 (plan is go to ~20 and hold and taper only parox. and benzo's and maybe Mirt if I sleep)

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night 2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3. 2021/04/18 M 2,4. 2021/04/24 Cl 22. 2021/04/29 M2,3, P5,28. 2021/05/8 Cl 21,5.

2021/05/9   M 2,2, P 5,22. 2021/05/12 Cl back to 22, everything on hold now to stabilise.

 

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Hello @Erell,

 

i want to say thank you for helping so many suffering members here in the forum.

 

Please take care of yourself in these tough times. I know you will get through

and come out in a much, much better place!

 

(And thank you for sharing the international withdrawal survey! Its an important next step, with highly respected withdrawal researchers, to make antidepressant withdrawal public around the globe. We need everyone's story.)

 

Greetings<3

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

2021 IMPORTANT WITHDRAWAL SURVEY, PLEASE PARTICIPATE: https://uelpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0AR9IsQ61jsiXBk

2021 IMPORTANT WITHDRAWAL SURVEY, PLEASE PARTICIPATE: https://uelpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0AR9IsQ61jsiXBk

 

non-native speaker of english

3-March 2020 started Mirtazapine 15mg
3-March to 6-april aprx cutting to 0 mg
6-April to 20-April -> ~ 7,5 mg,

21-April to 31-April -> 15 mg,

1-May to 13-May -> ~ 10 mg (approx),

15-May to 19-July -> 15 mg (psychosomatic clinic)
started taper with scale and file: 19-July 2020 -> 14 mg (-6,6%), 08-August -> 12 mg (-14,3 %), 27-August -> 10 mg (-16,6 %), 15-September -> 8 mg (-20 %, bad idea, heavy WD) 23-September -> 10.2 mg (+20 %, 102 mgpw) from here windows and waves...holding

 

Supplements: 2 x 250 mg magnesiumbiglycinate daily, low histamin diet

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  • Mentor

Thinking of you dear @Erell❤️

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

12/5 2021- 8.5 mg fluoxetine, holding 

 

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