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Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

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  • Mentor
mstimc

Hi Erell

Joining everyone else wishing you peace and healing.  Sending positive thoughts your way !

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Hey lovely @Erell, Thinking of you, sending hugs.   ALL I want to say is this: it's three years since my personal nightmare began. June 2018 was when everything went to s**t. It's nearl

That's very nice of you, but I have to confess...I have a terrible English accent 😅  It's easier for me to write rather than speak : while writing, I have all the time I need to think, find a tra

((((((((( @Erell ))))))))))) BIG CUDDLE from me to you    i know exactly how you feel. Every one of us going through this  or have been through this do.  @mstimcdescribes coping perfect

  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)

(((((((((( Erell )))))))) sending you huge cyber hugs, love, and care.  I'm really praying for you.  Please, hang in there, and don't give up!  I wish I was there with you and could bring you soup, and cover you with a blanket, and hug you.   

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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sunnysideup69

Sending you lots of love and support, @Erell. Everything will change.

Big hugs xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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You did good tapering down the PRO. Sometimes we have to see what knobs we can turn (as in: minor adjustments, then evaluate and/or adjust) for some relief. Since you're taking both fluoxetine, PRO and diazepam and possibly still in Paxil WD, it's difficult to predict which step would provide relief. Possible conflicts have to be minimalised. Although you were reluctant, nothing seems to have worsened and indeed CNS now has (just a bit) less to process. Keep going.

 

A change in fluoxetine normally takes some time before you notice anything (weeks instead of days) (cause of the long halflife). Keep that in mind.

 

Wishing you lots of strength from the Netherlands, tout a l'heure mon amie 😉

  • I'm a 42 years old male
  • I've got a job in business and economics
  • I'm into sports, animals and nature
  • I started using 20 mg Paroxetine (Paxil) in 2004 for stressrelated anxiety
  • I attempted several times to stop using Paroxetine, starting a few years after 2004
  • I found out in 2015 about paxil withdrawal symptoms and the 5-10% taper
  • I started using liquid Seroxat suspension in 2015/2016
  • From 20 mg to 12 mg, I went down 5-10%
  • From 12 mg down I was forced to take smaller steps (0,2 ml/4-6 weeks)

 

Switch to suspension/fluid

  • 09/2018 at 11.2 mg (5,6 ml) of Seroxat suspension
  • 11/2018 Switch back to 5,7 ml (11,4 mg)
  • Started trying the brassmonkey micro-taper method end dec 2018
  • 07/2021 Current dose 5,6 ml (11.2 mg) after >1 year of withdrawal issues (several food sensitivities and conflicts with painkillers, caffein, grapefruit, chocolate etc.)
  • First goal is to reach 5ml (2022)
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Longroadhome

@Erell


its so hard to see what lies at the other end of the tunnel when you’re  in the middle and it’s pitch black way up ahead..  When we’re driving through we can’t stop we have to rely on beacons of light carrying us forward  in order to safely navigate our way to the other end and out into the sunshine and safety. 
if you were to imagine your WD as the tunnel which part would you be in right now ? 
Well here’s the thing Erell .. it really doesn’t matter  as there’s only one way through and that’s by continually moving forward.
Look in your rear view mirror and see the navigation lights behind you. Look ahead and those same lights are there ahead to guide you. 
  Each one of those steering you towards the the end of the tunnel and beautiful forever sunshine. 
 

You are those lights behind you. You are those lights ahead of you. Now trust in that  light to carry you forward to a beautiful tomorrow x

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Moderator

Hello dear friends, 

 

I don't reply early to your posts because I try to not seek for reassurance too often and learn to find all I need inside my own self. Unlearn helplessness and learn to discover the strenght and skills I have inside ;) 
So I try to post not more than once a week on my thread.
But I wanted to thank you : even if I don't reply, I love reading your encouragements, and even print them ❤️ 


I have read stories of people who took two years to stabilise after several changes, so I understand it can take a very long time.
I've received many different advices between holding or starting a micro taper off Prozac as it is not helping, I'm still hesitating. So, holding as long as I don't feel strong enough to test the water.

 

What never cease to amaze me is the appearance of new symptoms : these days I struggle a lot with weird and intense irritability. I don't think there are specific triggers or reasons, it's more like "irritability attack" without a reason, it feels iatrogenic.

It's strange because it seems to spike everyday around 11am-noon.
I do my best to accept it and isolate when I need to, but have to admit this new symptom can be very distressing, especially while already struggling with intrusive thoughts and fearing to act.

 

On 5/14/2021 at 3:50 PM, wantrelief said:

Whenever I read your posts, I greatly admire all you are doing to help yourself despite feeling so unwell.....it is very impressive!

 

Thank you, your words are very comforting ❤️ I don't know if it's impressive...you know this absolute need to "do something", the emergency to do something to feel better ? 
Well, I just try to redirect this urge towards coping skills, because that's all I can do for now. 

But it's not easy. I would like to do more, but I'm still so agoraphobic, I just can do my best to try distract in my house.

Actually, your words are a good occasion to share my coping skills : rather than sharing my symptoms, I'll share the tools I try to practice, hope it might help someone

 

- Gratitude : I had stopped to practice gratitude because I was tired of not getting better. But I've started again this week and I think it makes a difference. Every evening, when I go to bed and start to fear the night, I focus on gratitude. Even simple things can be positive : the sunshine, having some appetite, ...

 

- Postive affirmations : the trick is, I think, to feel comfortable with your affirmations. If I'm feeling confident, I might use sentences like "I'm feeling more and more calm"/ "I'm healing more an more everyday", ... . But if things are too rough, I don't manage to believe these thoughts, so I use more simple affirmations like "I'm going to be ok, I'm going to be ok".
I read them many times during my bedtime routine and during the day, this way they print in my mind.

 

- Using my hands, my body. I don't often manage to distract while staying still, so I find activities to use my hands : gardening, walking, origami, ...anything that involves my body helps to distract or change the channel. 

 

- "Healing meditation" : I've found on youtube "healing meditations" where you visualise a healing light or energy coming in your body. I like it.

- Visualisation : same idea, I listen to audio and try to visualise myself healed, feeling peaceful. If I can't do it while staying still, I do it while walking, pretending I'm healed.

 

- ....

 

Take care everybody, and thank you for your support, really ! ❤️ 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication : 6.92mg Prozac (~1% drop from 7mg on 23 June 2021)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Mentor
mstimc
15 minutes ago, Erell said:

rather than sharing my symptoms, I'll share the tools I try to practice, hope it might help someone

These are great coping tool, Erell, and over time they will help reduce and eventually eliminate your symptoms.   There were many times during my WD and recovery I found myself repeating my affirmations throughout the day just to get through it.  Eventually, these positive practices will push the negative thought patterns out.  

 

I think irritability is a natural consequence of the frustrations we feel with our situation.  I, too. found myself much less patient during WD.   We just want it to be over with, and we get short-tempered when we feel we're not making progress.  But its temporary and will pass away, as will all your symptoms.

 

Thinking of you from Portugal!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Dear @Erell

Your resilience and determination amazes me every single time you post. What an amazing quality to have and I truly believe it will benefit you in the long run even if it might not seem like it now. 
About testing the waters with dosage change, do so only when you are ready. Your health and well-being needs always to come first. I know it’s scary, who wouldn’t be afraid after having been thrown into such a horrific situation. 

I need to remind myself often that this is not a race but a matter of patience and time,

 

Your strong and helpful presence on this forum has helped many including myself, so my gratitude goes out to you dear Erell today 🥰

 

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 

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  • Moderator

(((((Erell)))))              The symptom of irritability is so very, very hard!!!!!!!!  (Hard to stay in our own skin😬)  Hugs to your irritability as well💗

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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  • Moderator
getofflex
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Erell said:

I don't reply early to your posts because I try to not seek for reassurance too often and learn to find all I need inside my own self. Unlearn helplessness and learn to discover the strenght and skills I have inside ;) 

I'm working on this very same thing myself, especially in my physical non online life.

 

4 hours ago, Erell said:

I have read stories of people who took two years to stabilise after several changes, so I understand it can take a very long time.

I'm glad to know this.  What incredible patience this recovery journey can take.  

 

4 hours ago, Erell said:

I've received many different advices between holding or starting a micro taper off Prozac as it is not helping, I'm still hesitating. So, holding as long as I don't feel strong enough to test the water.

Sounds like a good plan.  I would do the same.  

 

Look at the amazing coping skills you are learning through this painful withdrawal.  You will come out of this with a deep inner strength and wisdom that few other people ever possess.  I, too, find it helpful to do things with my hands (cooking, gardening, cleaning, knitting) when I am in a wave and my brain is limited in it's function.  

 

I continue to think about you and pray for you every day.  Stay the course, and hang in there my friend!  😍💜  This too shall pass!  It may take time, but eventually it will come to an end. 

Edited by getofflex

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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Longroadhome

 @Erell


Thinking of you, with respect x

 

 

 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Rusty1

Erell thank you for checking in on me.  Sorry to see you are suffering a lot. 

 

In regards to stabilization after changes taking a long time I can attest to that.  Looking back at my taper I had two major stabilization issues.  The first was after a moment of extreme anxiety my CNS got destabilized.  Instantly it changed my withdrawal symptoms from mild to moderate plus.  I did try to do some extended holds for a few months but never felt any relief.  Since I was able to tolerate it enough as a new normal I kept doing small decreases.

I then had a destabilization event when I had trouble adjust to a prescription refill.  Since it was fresher my body interpreted it as an updose.  

I tried to let my body adjust and stabilize, when unknowingly I should have done a decrease from the dosing issue.  That would have likely saved me a lot of trouble.

Trying to stabilize on the new refill didn't work and threw me into my worst period of destabilization.  I would call it extreme and completely debilitating.  I held for a few months to no avail and finally figured out that decreasing would likely help.  I did slow decreases and finally stabilized to a more comfortable level after 2 years.

 

I doubt those situations apply to yours or help you make any decisions going forward.  I do hope they can provide encouragement that even when we think we are at our wits end and not seeing progress it can come, albeit slowly.

As you saw from checking in on me I was able to finally stop taking the medication and am currently feeling better than I did throughout the entire taper and just prior to tapering.

 

Best of luck, it will get better!

40 yo Male. Started Paxil about 15 years ago. 10 mg (pill weight .125 - .129 g). 5 yrs wanted less side effects, doctor took me off Paxil over couple week period and put me on Wellbutrin. Not good. Went back on Paxil. Relieved my symptoms, but didn't work as well and more side effects. Severe reaction between Paxil and Zomig Summer of 2012. Head was affected during warmer days (cloudiness, confusion, pressure). Began 10% withdrawal 10/24/12.

Withdrawel helped many symptoms, but also added side effects: nausea, dizziness, tiredness. Hyper-anxiety started January 2014.

Went through a 2 year period of de-realization (2016-2018).  Rarely any windows.  
Current dose: 0.00 as of 4/10/21.  Made a lot of progress in my withdrawal symptoms the last 2 years of my taper.  I think doing a liquid taper helped stabilize things on the lower doses.  A lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly.  Hoping for even more improvement now that I am off.
My thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8909-rusty1-paxil-withdrawal-help-and-advice-welcome/#entry150222

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Mentor
Hanna72

Just read this beautiful poem, and wanted to send it to you dear @Erell

 

 A truth about you

 

Think about this,

You have the ability to survive 

anything,

 

That is why,

despite all the storms

made of pain and loss,

despite all the chaos

that you have had to endure

you are still here

and you are still going strong.

 

Thinking about you 💗

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 

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sunnysideup69

Hey lovely @Erell,

Thinking of you, sending hugs.

 

ALL I want to say is this: it's three years since my personal nightmare began. June 2018 was when everything went to s**t. It's nearly two years since I switched drugs.

Two years down the line from that disaster, I am happy, content and well ( yes, still some blips, but SO mild.)

 

I fully believe that this will be your experience. I know you know this, but stabilisation is coming. It's just frustrating in the meantime and not being able to predict a timeline.

 

Another thing; when I was in the thick of it, it seemed it would go on forever. Do you experience this? Time seemed to drag and lengthen and there was a constant worry about 'how long' this has gone on. And a kind of terror some days about how to fill the day. It really is like being stuck in a bad trip.

 

Now it all seems like a blip. Three years seems kind of....insignificant. I guess our brains are hardwired in some way to forget. Once you begin coming out the other side, this is what you have to look forward to.

 

Wanted to share those experiences with you, of course I can't predict your future, but I'd bet big money on those experiences being around the corner for you.

With lots of love, xxxxx

 

 

 

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Longroadhome
2 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Hey lovely @Erell,

Thinking of you, sending hugs.

 

ALL I want to say is this: it's three years since my personal nightmare began. June 2018 was when everything went to s**t. It's nearly two years since I switched drugs.

Two years down the line from that disaster, I am happy, content and well ( yes, still some blips, but SO mild.)

 

I fully believe that this will be your experience. I know you know this, but stabilisation is coming. It's just frustrating in the meantime and not being able to predict a timeline.

 

Another thing; when I was in the thick of it, it seemed it would go on forever. Do you experience this? Time seemed to drag and lengthen and there was a constant worry about 'how long' this has gone on. And a kind of terror some days about how to fill the day. It really is like being stuck in a bad trip.

 

Now it all seems like a blip. Three years seems kind of....insignificant. I guess our brains are hardwired in some way to forget. Once you begin coming out the other side, this is what you have to look forward to.

 

Wanted to share those experiences with you, of course I can't predict your future, but I'd bet big money on those experiences being around the corner for you.

With lots of love, xxxxx

 

 

 

 

Lovely update for Erell Sunny and everyone going through this x 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Matheus

hi Erell, just passing by to wish you a good week, and send you all my suport.

 

 

Jan 2017: started paroxetine 20mg

Back and forth several times

 

Aug 2019: paroxetine 20mg and zolpiden 6,25

 

Oct 2020: cold turkeyd both paroxetine and zolpiden ( big crash now i am in)

 

Feb 2021: cold switch from paroxetine to venlafaxine( 37,5): didnt work at all

 

March 2021: decided to go back to paroxetine out of despair: venlafaxine 37,5; paroxetine 40mg and zolpiden 6,25( current medication)

 

 

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  • Moderator

Hello dear friends

 

And oh thank you for your support and kind words, I always feel so blessed when I read you !

Where would I be without SA ?

I don't know and prefer not to imagine, all I know is Im glad I found such a safe place on my path ! ❤

 

I have a positive report : I think I might have had a window last Monday. I was not feeling good or completely "in reality", but for the first time since a looong time, it was easier to live, to do things, to be confident. I even trusted myself, the intrusive thoughts were lower and I KNEW I would never be able to hurt someone. It was good, so good to trust myself.

 

It was easy to use my positive affirmations into my routine because I was truly believing them.

I felt so confident I even start to imagine that perhaps I would be able to find a new job soon.

I was able to project myself in the future, had utterly forgot how it feels !

 

Unfortunately it Didn't last longer than a day, and last days it feels as restless and hopeless as ever.

 

I can utterly understand how easily a label like bipolar can be made : it describes perfectly WD and the windows and waves pattern!

Even myself I have issues to trust it was the same person who was smiling and trusting life during the afternoon last Monday.

 

I don't feel used to "windows and waves" as I feel like I live in a constant wave since a long time with moments that are somehow a bit more bearable.

I now can understand how weird it can be for people who experience extended windows and waves, this feeling to be a completely different person from one day to another.

 

I'm crying today to be honest, because I feel tired, restless and intrusive thoughts hit me all day with the usual fear of going crazy.

Fortunately, I wrote to myself last Monday. People, if you don't want to keep a diary, at least write something to yourself when you are feeling better  : it really helps to realise that it was real, that yes it can get better.

 

 I'll share another positive things thanks to the external point of view of my family, because sometimes you need others to realise things :

- my parents tell me that my face looks better, less drawn looking.

They also say that they can see some light in my eyes, a spark that had disappeared.

They also think that I'm less restless, "speed up" and more able to engage.

 

@sunnysideup69 : what an amazing update ! You so deserve this feeling better, I'm happy to read you !

I thank you deeply for sharing it with me, I'm gonna print this ❤

 

@Hanna72 : I love this poem, thank you. We survived all the storms, we know how, we just to keep doing ❤

 

@Rusty1 : thank you deeply !

Even if everybody's situation is unique, reading those ahead us is always a blessing ! ❤

I can tell my monkey mind : " see ? Another proof of healing!" 😉

 

@getofflex, @Longroadhome, @arbor, @mstimc,... : as always, Thank you ❤

I'll never say it enough! I still read your answers of last month about my fear of intrusive thoughts, of loosing control, and I always feel comfort and hope in your words.

 

To all, I send you big hugs, my love respect and support ❤

 

 

 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication : 6.92mg Prozac (~1% drop from 7mg on 23 June 2021)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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  • Mentor
Frogie

@Erell

 

I’m so glad you were able to experience a window, even though it was short lived. 

 

You are always in my thoughts.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Moderator

Thank you for sharing your journey, @Erell  Your insights along the way help illuminate the way for us all.  

Thinking of you--💗🙏😘

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Fallensoul

Hey Erell,

 

I feel with you, when in wave, our relativation gets disrupted, its unbelievable how hopeless and steady/permanent  those feelings feel.

 

I just came out a wave, suddenly when I didn't except it at all, and all terms turned, it's insane as if all are laws of nature are reset.

 

I hope you get a window soon, we need windows at times to get through this.

 

I start too reckognise some tipycall lines in all this.

Stress turns to a sad mood after a while, sad mood tinker bad thoughs, and the spiral is complete.

 

Try to avoid as much stress as possible.

I know it sounds simple and I am far away from controling it, but I think it plays a keyrole in the proces.

 

Hang on.

1998-2020  Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week 2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct 2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Wellbutrin 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct 2020/08 Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine to 50mg, adverse effect, restless, panic, low mood, anxiety, fast taper down to 30 (plan is go to ~20 and hold and taper only parox. and benzo's and maybe Mirt if I sleep)

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night 2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3. 2021/04/18 M 2,4. 2021/04/24 Cl 22. 2021/04/29 M2,3, P5,28. 2021/05/8 Cl 21,5.

2021/05/9   M 2,2, P 5,22. 2021/05/12 Cl back to 22, 2021/05/20 Lor 3x0,8, night 1x0,40 Lorm 1x0,40 2021/05/27 Cl 20(holding)2021/05/28 P5,15 (holding)2021/05/31 Cl 22 (holding)

2021/06/7   Lor 3x0,75 1x0,38 night, Lorm 0,38night 2021/11/7 P5

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  • Moderator
getofflex

@Erelli’m so glad you had the window, but I’m sad that it went away and the wave came back. I think about you and pray for you every day. I have a friend who prays for you too. Please hang in there. Lotta people on here care for you. I admire your strength courage optimism and ability to be so positive and supportive to other people even during your own pain and suffering.

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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  • Moderator
brassmonkey

The first windows are such precious and fleeting things. It can be hard to recognize them when they happen but making note of them and cherishing them is very important. I'm so glad you had one, recognized it and made note of it. There will be more.

 

I still remember my first one. It happened about three years into my taper, lasted about fifteen minutes and I didn't realize that it had happened until several hours later. Now, after seven years I can still recall the feeling and the understanding that things were working and they would get better.

 

Having the people around see the positive changes is so important. We can be so micro-focused on the minute to minute, day to day feelings that we lose track of the big picture. Monica could always tell when I was having good days and bad because of my eyes. I could see it in the mirror too. Listless, dead "paxil eyes" was a sure sign that I wasn't doing well at the  moment, but they always "brightened" on my good days.

 

It looks like your WDnormal baseline is slowly improving, which is wonderful.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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@Erell even though it didn’t last as long as you would like it is a very good sign!  My family and extended family has  been able to tell when I’m coming into a wave or window in the past .
And@brassmonkey I just caught what you said about Paxil eyes! When I would visit my mom she would notice my eyes too! And yes I would look in mirror and I could tell. 
@Erell It’s a good feeling when we start planning future and doing more things in a window and then it is a bad feeling when that wave starts coming. When coming into a wave I have always tried to do something to stop it and just made the anxiety worse. Now days I try to just let it happen it’s hard and practice. hang in there for good things to come !

09/2000 paxil 20mgs, 06/2006 stopped Paxil crashed, 10/2006 progressed back up to Paxil 20mgs, 2012 -2013 Paxil 12 month taper crashed, 09/2013 Zoloft 50 - 100, 2015-2016 Zoloft taper crash, 2016 cymbalta, 01/2017   lamictal , 05/2017 Prozac 20 mgs, 06/2017 Prozac 40mgs, 02/2018 Prozac 20 mgs, 05/2018 Prozac 30 mgs, 11/2018 lexapro 10 mgs, 01/2019 lexapro 15 mgs, 12/07/2019 lexapro 13.75 mgs ,01/04/2020 lexapro 12.5 mgs, 02/08/2020 lexapro 11.25 mgs, 03/07/2020 lexapro 10 mgs, 07/25/2020 7.5mg pill&2.5ml liquid, 08/04/2020 5mg pill&5ml liquid, 08/17/2020 2.5mg pill 7.5 ml liquid, 08/24/2020 10 ml liquid lexapro, 09/05/2020 9 ml liquid lexapro, 10/05/2020 8.5 ml liquid lexapro,10/12/2020 9 ml, 04/17/2021 8.78 ml, 04/24/2021 8.56 ml, 05/02/2021 8.34 ml, 05/09/2021 8.10ml, 05/29/2021 8 ml, 06/15/2021 7.80 ml, 06/21/2021 7.60ml, 06/27/2021 7.40 ml, 07/03/2021 7.20 ml, 

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wantrelief

Oh Erell, I am so happy you experienced a window - this is wonderful news!  Your brain has proven it can right itself and what you experienced will happen again.  

 

I am so sorry you are in the thick of things again.  I am so glad you documented your experience here so you can look back on your post in times of despair and see what your future is really going to be like (not what your WD brain may be telling you)....and it is going to be even better! :)

 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%); 5/23/21: 6.85 mg (1.25%); 5/30/21: 6.8 mg (1.25%); 6/6/21: 6.7 mg (1.25%); 6/27/21: 6.6 mg (1.25%); 6.5 mg (1.25%); 7/11/21: 6.4 mg (1.25%); 7/18/21: 6.36 mg (1.25%)

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Longroadhome

@Erell


Keep putting one foot in front of the other. 
You are incredibly brave and an inspiration to others that walk the same path,  as well as those that follow in the future. 
xx

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Rosetta

Erell!!!  That’s great!  How wonderful.  I’m so glad that you wrote down how you were feeling, too.  I’m thrilled for you!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Hello dear friends,

 

Oh, always so glad to read you and your comforting words !

 

Those "Paxil eyes" : yes, my family say that too ! And, apparently, I have a "special face wrinckle" on bad days.

 

And very glad that I came here to report my window in the beginning of June or I wouldn't believe it now !

 

I'm in a pretty hard wave, since 1.5-2 weeks I think. It started with the return of big fog in the brain and sleeplessness. I'm struggling this week with a "step back", you know when old intensity of symptoms or just old symptoms come back suddenly, all at the same time, and make you doubt of everything.

It re-activates some kind of a trauma I think, this weird mix hopelessness-restlessness-terror-irritability still have the power to scare me.

 

My brain is a duo currently  : one part  is trying to think "oh yay, wonderful, this big wave might mean an improved baseline to come" !

 

The other part, the one I try to not listen to, but the voice is louder, is doing his usual doom thinking.

This WD "doom-cloud" really is quite a beast : it is really hard to think otherwise, to remember that things can get better, that people do heal.

Kind of terrified and in strong doom feelings all day.

 

I realised this morning that my periods should come tomorrow or the day after, so I'm probably just in a WD hormonal chaos. That's what I'm hoping, it could mean I might get a bit relief soon 🙏

 

13/14 months since my Prozac bridge, still a way to go apparently !

I've read a lot, perhaps too much : I've seen several people reporting huge improvements at 18/24 months during their stabilisation process.

Even if I know every journey is unique, I hang on to the fact that I could see big improvements soon...!

 

Ok, will try to not ramble too much and stop here.

 

Sending big big hugs to all the amazing survivors, hang on ❤☀️

 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication : 6.92mg Prozac (~1% drop from 7mg on 23 June 2021)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Longroadhome

@Erell

Couldn’t  be more proud of you if I tried!! 
Reading in-between the lines I detect a brave acceptance that wasn’t there at the start of your trauma/bridge. It’s plain to see along the road you have gathered strength whether you believe it or not.  I can feel  it in your words. 
Yes the time is going to come when you will see improvements. Look out for them, record your progress because those little critters will probably be minute to start with. We know how it works don't we!! 
Know exactly  what you mean about symptoms returning . It’s frustrating but very common. I have dry eyes back after a two year reprieve. But at least we know if they disappeared once  they will disappear again. 
 

We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other because after this journey is over we are going to be super confident, super happy, super resilient, super calm  and oh so ready to live the rest of our lives in  peace  and contentment . Nothing will ever come close to surviving WD Erell. Nothing. 

 Read a book, relax, watch tv, look forward to seeing friends and socialising. Feeling super confident at work knowing that you got through WD and so you can get through anything life throws at you. 
 

Life has a way of compensating. Patience is the key that unlocks the door and time the healer xx 

 

October 2004 Paxil 20mg - October 2018, 14 years

Nov 2018 Pregabalin - 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD

August 2019 Pregabalin - 2 x 25mg a day 

April 2020 Pregabalin - 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg 

June 2021   Pregabalin - 14mg,

October 2018 Paxil - 20 mg, November 15mg, December 10mg  

February 2019 Paxil- 7.5mg crashed, February 8.5mg, Nov 8mg 

March 2020 Paxil - 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, December 4.5mg 

January 2021 Paxil - 4mg, February 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • Moderator
getofflex

@Erell you are incredibly strong and courageous.  In spite of feeling badly, your optimism, love, and perseverance shine forth!  I see so much strength in you.  I agree with long road home about brave acceptance!  These qualities that are being forged in you will serve you well for the rest of your life.  I'm very sorry you are having to go through so much difficulty though.  I'll continue to think about you and pray for you everyday.  I know how hard this is - I've been through it, and still go through it on some days.  I don't say too much about it, because it's just become a part of life for me, I guess that is acceptance as well.  

 

Take care, hang in there, and don't give up!  You are a major inspiration to me, and to many others on this forum.    

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08

Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, calcium

suppl PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2.5 mg

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  • Mentor

Just adding my positive thoughts, Erell, and adding to the reminders of how much strength you have within you.   Each day is a day closer to recovery.  You will get there!

 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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  • Moderator

Dear @Erell I send you many hugs and good wishes.  Thank you for sharing your experiences.  

I will hold the thought of your symptoms improving.

Arbor 😘

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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Rosetta

(((Erell))). It is so hard to fall back into a wave.  It’s like winning something and then being told it was all a big mistake, only worse.  
 

I used to describe windows and waves long before I found SA.  I said that I felt I was swimming in a canal such as the Suez Canal.  I swam across one lock while the water level dropped beneath me.  On the other side I would have to climb the wall to get out.  I could see the water level close to the top of the wall.  Climbing out would be quick if I could get there fast enough.  I was swimming against the current created by the water flowing out a point behind me. By the time I reached the wall, the water had dropped so far that I had a long climb ahead.  As I climbed, water rushed back in above my head, and washed me off the wall and back to the other side.  I would start to swim again as the water flowed out behind me.  That was what PWS felt like for me.  

 

I did not know at the time that there was a way to make headway.  I did not even know it was WD.  You are making headway, Erell.  You are climbing to the top of each wall.  You may have many to climb ahead of you, but you are not being washed away.  You are swimming in a strong current waiting for the time you can rest at the top of the next wall.  You don’t know when you will reach the top, but you know you will.  You will get that rest.  Keep swimming.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Brave Erell. Holding you in my prayers and thoughts.

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 

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  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Oh, I'm so glad my post sounded strong and not triggering, I was scared of having made a negative post.

 

Thank you, thank you : I'm re-reading some part of my thread with your encouraging words because today is especially hard ❤

 

I'm struggling with these weird restless spikes, those who urges you and say "you can't keep going like this, it needs to stop now". It is as much physical as mental. Like a kind of 'mental aka'. It climbs and climbs and it is really hard to remember that it can subside again. Spending the day shaking in fear and a feeling of emergency.

 

I think this uptick took me by surprise as my 2 previous cycles were a bit easier, more bearable.

It always feels traumatic to fall back in old intensity. And despite practicing acceptance as best as I can, this intensity still turns me into a frightened child.

 

Time to read my favourite Success Stories and keep swimming as Rosetta said ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication : 6.92mg Prozac (~1% drop from 7mg on 23 June 2021)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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sunnysideup69

Sending you (((hugs))) @Erell. Am praying your next window is very soon and a long one. And a much better baseline after this wave xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

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Rosetta

(((Erell)))

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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