Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Erell: struggling with paroxetine


Erell

Recommended Posts

 @Erell


Thinking of you, with respect x

 

 

 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment

Erell thank you for checking in on me.  Sorry to see you are suffering a lot. 

 

In regards to stabilization after changes taking a long time I can attest to that.  Looking back at my taper I had two major stabilization issues.  The first was after a moment of extreme anxiety my CNS got destabilized.  Instantly it changed my withdrawal symptoms from mild to moderate plus.  I did try to do some extended holds for a few months but never felt any relief.  Since I was able to tolerate it enough as a new normal I kept doing small decreases.

I then had a destabilization event when I had trouble adjust to a prescription refill.  Since it was fresher my body interpreted it as an updose.  

I tried to let my body adjust and stabilize, when unknowingly I should have done a decrease from the dosing issue.  That would have likely saved me a lot of trouble.

Trying to stabilize on the new refill didn't work and threw me into my worst period of destabilization.  I would call it extreme and completely debilitating.  I held for a few months to no avail and finally figured out that decreasing would likely help.  I did slow decreases and finally stabilized to a more comfortable level after 2 years.

 

I doubt those situations apply to yours or help you make any decisions going forward.  I do hope they can provide encouragement that even when we think we are at our wits end and not seeing progress it can come, albeit slowly.

As you saw from checking in on me I was able to finally stop taking the medication and am currently feeling better than I did throughout the entire taper and just prior to tapering.

 

Best of luck, it will get better!

40 yo Male. Started Paxil about 15 years ago. 10 mg (pill weight .125 - .129 g). 5 yrs wanted less side effects, doctor took me off Paxil over couple week period and put me on Wellbutrin. Not good. Went back on Paxil. Relieved my symptoms, but didn't work as well and more side effects. Severe reaction between Paxil and Zomig Summer of 2012. Head was affected during warmer days (cloudiness, confusion, pressure). Began 10% withdrawal 10/24/12.

Withdrawel helped many symptoms, but also added side effects: nausea, dizziness, tiredness. Hyper-anxiety started January 2014.

Went through a 2 year period of de-realization (2016-2018).  Rarely any windows.  
Current dose: 0.00 as of 4/10/21.  Made a lot of progress in my withdrawal symptoms the last 2 years of my taper.  I think doing a liquid taper helped stabilize things on the lower doses.  A lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly.  Hoping for even more improvement now that I am off.
My thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8909-rusty1-paxil-withdrawal-help-and-advice-welcome/#entry150222

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Mentor

Just read this beautiful poem, and wanted to send it to you dear @Erell

 

 A truth about you

 

Think about this,

You have the ability to survive 

anything,

 

That is why,

despite all the storms

made of pain and loss,

despite all the chaos

that you have had to endure

you are still here

and you are still going strong.

 

Thinking about you 💗

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

Link to comment

Hey lovely @Erell,

Thinking of you, sending hugs.

 

ALL I want to say is this: it's three years since my personal nightmare began. June 2018 was when everything went to s**t. It's nearly two years since I switched drugs.

Two years down the line from that disaster, I am happy, content and well ( yes, still some blips, but SO mild.)

 

I fully believe that this will be your experience. I know you know this, but stabilisation is coming. It's just frustrating in the meantime and not being able to predict a timeline.

 

Another thing; when I was in the thick of it, it seemed it would go on forever. Do you experience this? Time seemed to drag and lengthen and there was a constant worry about 'how long' this has gone on. And a kind of terror some days about how to fill the day. It really is like being stuck in a bad trip.

 

Now it all seems like a blip. Three years seems kind of....insignificant. I guess our brains are hardwired in some way to forget. Once you begin coming out the other side, this is what you have to look forward to.

 

Wanted to share those experiences with you, of course I can't predict your future, but I'd bet big money on those experiences being around the corner for you.

With lots of love, xxxxx

 

 

 

 

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

Link to comment
2 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Hey lovely @Erell,

Thinking of you, sending hugs.

 

ALL I want to say is this: it's three years since my personal nightmare began. June 2018 was when everything went to s**t. It's nearly two years since I switched drugs.

Two years down the line from that disaster, I am happy, content and well ( yes, still some blips, but SO mild.)

 

I fully believe that this will be your experience. I know you know this, but stabilisation is coming. It's just frustrating in the meantime and not being able to predict a timeline.

 

Another thing; when I was in the thick of it, it seemed it would go on forever. Do you experience this? Time seemed to drag and lengthen and there was a constant worry about 'how long' this has gone on. And a kind of terror some days about how to fill the day. It really is like being stuck in a bad trip.

 

Now it all seems like a blip. Three years seems kind of....insignificant. I guess our brains are hardwired in some way to forget. Once you begin coming out the other side, this is what you have to look forward to.

 

Wanted to share those experiences with you, of course I can't predict your future, but I'd bet big money on those experiences being around the corner for you.

With lots of love, xxxxx

 

 

 

 

Lovely update for Erell Sunny and everyone going through this x 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment

hi Erell, just passing by to wish you a good week, and send you all my suport.

 

 

Jan 2017: started paroxetine 20mg

Back and forth several times

 

Aug 2019: paroxetine 20mg and zolpiden 6,25

 

Oct 2020: cold turkeyd both paroxetine and zolpiden ( big crash now i am in)

 

Feb 2021: cold switch from paroxetine to venlafaxine( 37,5): didnt work at all

 

March 2021: decided to go back to paroxetine out of despair: venlafaxine 37,5; paroxetine 40mg and zolpiden 6,25( current medication)

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello dear friends

 

And oh thank you for your support and kind words, I always feel so blessed when I read you !

Where would I be without SA ?

I don't know and prefer not to imagine, all I know is Im glad I found such a safe place on my path ! ❤

 

I have a positive report : I think I might have had a window last Monday. I was not feeling good or completely "in reality", but for the first time since a looong time, it was easier to live, to do things, to be confident. I even trusted myself, the intrusive thoughts were lower and I KNEW I would never be able to hurt someone. It was good, so good to trust myself.

 

It was easy to use my positive affirmations into my routine because I was truly believing them.

I felt so confident I even start to imagine that perhaps I would be able to find a new job soon.

I was able to project myself in the future, had utterly forgot how it feels !

 

Unfortunately it Didn't last longer than a day, and last days it feels as restless and hopeless as ever.

 

I can utterly understand how easily a label like bipolar can be made : it describes perfectly WD and the windows and waves pattern!

Even myself I have issues to trust it was the same person who was smiling and trusting life during the afternoon last Monday.

 

I don't feel used to "windows and waves" as I feel like I live in a constant wave since a long time with moments that are somehow a bit more bearable.

I now can understand how weird it can be for people who experience extended windows and waves, this feeling to be a completely different person from one day to another.

 

I'm crying today to be honest, because I feel tired, restless and intrusive thoughts hit me all day with the usual fear of going crazy.

Fortunately, I wrote to myself last Monday. People, if you don't want to keep a diary, at least write something to yourself when you are feeling better  : it really helps to realise that it was real, that yes it can get better.

 

 I'll share another positive things thanks to the external point of view of my family, because sometimes you need others to realise things :

- my parents tell me that my face looks better, less drawn looking.

They also say that they can see some light in my eyes, a spark that had disappeared.

They also think that I'm less restless, "speed up" and more able to engage.

 

@sunnysideup69 : what an amazing update ! You so deserve this feeling better, I'm happy to read you !

I thank you deeply for sharing it with me, I'm gonna print this ❤

 

@Hanna72 : I love this poem, thank you. We survived all the storms, we know how, we just to keep doing ❤

 

@Rusty1 : thank you deeply !

Even if everybody's situation is unique, reading those ahead us is always a blessing ! ❤

I can tell my monkey mind : " see ? Another proof of healing!" 😉

 

@getofflex, @Longroadhome, @arbor, @mstimc,... : as always, Thank you ❤

I'll never say it enough! I still read your answers of last month about my fear of intrusive thoughts, of loosing control, and I always feel comfort and hope in your words.

 

To all, I send you big hugs, my love respect and support ❤

 

 

 

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Moderator

@Erell

 

I’m so glad you were able to experience a window, even though it was short lived. 

 

You are always in my thoughts.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you for sharing your journey, @Erell  Your insights along the way help illuminate the way for us all.  

Thinking of you--💗🙏😘

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022

Link to comment

Hey Erell,

 

I feel with you, when in wave, our relativation gets disrupted, its unbelievable how hopeless and steady/permanent  those feelings feel.

 

I just came out a wave, suddenly when I didn't except it at all, and all terms turned, it's insane as if all are laws of nature are reset.

 

I hope you get a window soon, we need windows at times to get through this.

 

I start too reckognise some tipycall lines in all this.

Stress turns to a sad mood after a while, sad mood tinker bad thoughs, and the spiral is complete.

 

Try to avoid as much stress as possible.

I know it sounds simple and I am far away from controling it, but I think it plays a keyrole in the proces.

 

Hang on.

1998-2020  Paroxetine 20mg, stopped working 2018/08 tapered down to 6mg now @ 1%/week 2019 /04      Lorazepam 3x1mg, 1x0,5mg night, Lormetazepam 0,5mg night
2019/05       Buspirone addition 3x5mg worked like wonders for one month, stopped ct 2019/12        Mirtazipine, first 2x10mg til 2021/2, no effect, now 3mg for sleep
2020/06       Wellbutrin 6 weeks, no effect stopped ct 2020/08 Lexapro, trying, to crossover, got crazy from 1 mg/day after 6 days, stopped
2020/11        Clomipramine to 50mg, adverse effect, restless, panic, low mood, anxiety, fast taper down to 30 (plan is go to ~20 and hold and taper only parox. and benzo's and maybe Mirt if I sleep)

2021/1         3x1000mg gaba, 3x10mg Lithium Orotate, 3x 1000mg L-Tyrosine,2-3 times 1x400mg magnesium citrate , 2-3 times 1x1000mg vit. C,1x15mg Zinc,

                     3 times 2mg Molybdeen Glycinate, 2 times 2000mg Omgea 3-6-9 and 1x16mg B6 (P5P) 2021/03/17  Gaba, Tyrosine and Lithium orotate to 3x1 tablet.

2021/03/17   Cl 30, P 5,8. 2021/03/20 Cl 28. 2021/03/23 M 2,7. 2021/03/25 M 2,6, Cl 26, P 5,7. 2021/03/28 Cl 25. 2021/04/1 P 5,6. 2021/04/07 Cl 24,P 5,5. 2021/04/08 Cl 23,5. 2021/04/13 P5,4

2021/03/26  Lor 3x0,9, 1x0,45 night, Lorm 0,45night 2021/04/13 CL 23, M 2,5. 2021/04/16 Cl 22,5, P 5,3. 2021/04/18 M 2,4. 2021/04/24 Cl 22. 2021/04/29 M2,3, P5,28. 2021/05/8 Cl 21,5.

2021/05/9   M 2,2, P 5,22. 2021/05/12 Cl back to 22, 2021/05/20 Lor 3x0,8, night 1x0,40 Lorm 1x0,40 2021/05/27 Cl 20(holding)2021/05/28 P5,15 (holding)2021/05/31 Cl 22 (holding)

2021/06/7   Lor 3x0,75 1x0,38 night, Lorm 0,38night 2021/11/7 P5

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@Erelli’m so glad you had the window, but I’m sad that it went away and the wave came back. I think about you and pray for you every day. I have a friend who prays for you too. Please hang in there. Lotta people on here care for you. I admire your strength courage optimism and ability to be so positive and supportive to other people even during your own pain and suffering.

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
  • Moderator

The first windows are such precious and fleeting things. It can be hard to recognize them when they happen but making note of them and cherishing them is very important. I'm so glad you had one, recognized it and made note of it. There will be more.

 

I still remember my first one. It happened about three years into my taper, lasted about fifteen minutes and I didn't realize that it had happened until several hours later. Now, after seven years I can still recall the feeling and the understanding that things were working and they would get better.

 

Having the people around see the positive changes is so important. We can be so micro-focused on the minute to minute, day to day feelings that we lose track of the big picture. Monica could always tell when I was having good days and bad because of my eyes. I could see it in the mirror too. Listless, dead "paxil eyes" was a sure sign that I wasn't doing well at the  moment, but they always "brightened" on my good days.

 

It looks like your WDnormal baseline is slowly improving, which is wonderful.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Erell even though it didn’t last as long as you would like it is a very good sign!  My family and extended family has  been able to tell when I’m coming into a wave or window in the past .
And@brassmonkey I just caught what you said about Paxil eyes! When I would visit my mom she would notice my eyes too! And yes I would look in mirror and I could tell. 
@Erell It’s a good feeling when we start planning future and doing more things in a window and then it is a bad feeling when that wave starts coming. When coming into a wave I have always tried to do something to stop it and just made the anxiety worse. Now days I try to just let it happen it’s hard and practice. hang in there for good things to come !

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

Link to comment

Oh Erell, I am so happy you experienced a window - this is wonderful news!  Your brain has proven it can right itself and what you experienced will happen again.  

 

I am so sorry you are in the thick of things again.  I am so glad you documented your experience here so you can look back on your post in times of despair and see what your future is really going to be like (not what your WD brain may be telling you)....and it is going to be even better! :)

 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

Link to comment

@Erell


Keep putting one foot in front of the other. 
You are incredibly brave and an inspiration to others that walk the same path,  as well as those that follow in the future. 
xx

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment

Erell!!!  That’s great!  How wonderful.  I’m so glad that you wrote down how you were feeling, too.  I’m thrilled for you!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello dear friends,

 

Oh, always so glad to read you and your comforting words !

 

Those "Paxil eyes" : yes, my family say that too ! And, apparently, I have a "special face wrinckle" on bad days.

 

And very glad that I came here to report my window in the beginning of June or I wouldn't believe it now !

 

I'm in a pretty hard wave, since 1.5-2 weeks I think. It started with the return of big fog in the brain and sleeplessness. I'm struggling this week with a "step back", you know when old intensity of symptoms or just old symptoms come back suddenly, all at the same time, and make you doubt of everything.

It re-activates some kind of a trauma I think, this weird mix hopelessness-restlessness-terror-irritability still have the power to scare me.

 

My brain is a duo currently  : one part  is trying to think "oh yay, wonderful, this big wave might mean an improved baseline to come" !

 

The other part, the one I try to not listen to, but the voice is louder, is doing his usual doom thinking.

This WD "doom-cloud" really is quite a beast : it is really hard to think otherwise, to remember that things can get better, that people do heal.

Kind of terrified and in strong doom feelings all day.

 

I realised this morning that my periods should come tomorrow or the day after, so I'm probably just in a WD hormonal chaos. That's what I'm hoping, it could mean I might get a bit relief soon 🙏

 

13/14 months since my Prozac bridge, still a way to go apparently !

I've read a lot, perhaps too much : I've seen several people reporting huge improvements at 18/24 months during their stabilisation process.

Even if I know every journey is unique, I hang on to the fact that I could see big improvements soon...!

 

Ok, will try to not ramble too much and stop here.

 

Sending big big hugs to all the amazing survivors, hang on ❤☀️

 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

@Erell

Couldn’t  be more proud of you if I tried!! 
Reading in-between the lines I detect a brave acceptance that wasn’t there at the start of your trauma/bridge. It’s plain to see along the road you have gathered strength whether you believe it or not.  I can feel  it in your words. 
Yes the time is going to come when you will see improvements. Look out for them, record your progress because those little critters will probably be minute to start with. We know how it works don't we!! 
Know exactly  what you mean about symptoms returning . It’s frustrating but very common. I have dry eyes back after a two year reprieve. But at least we know if they disappeared once  they will disappear again. 
 

We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other because after this journey is over we are going to be super confident, super happy, super resilient, super calm  and oh so ready to live the rest of our lives in  peace  and contentment . Nothing will ever come close to surviving WD Erell. Nothing. 

 Read a book, relax, watch tv, look forward to seeing friends and socialising. Feeling super confident at work knowing that you got through WD and so you can get through anything life throws at you. 
 

Life has a way of compensating. Patience is the key that unlocks the door and time the healer xx 

 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

@Erell you are incredibly strong and courageous.  In spite of feeling badly, your optimism, love, and perseverance shine forth!  I see so much strength in you.  I agree with long road home about brave acceptance!  These qualities that are being forged in you will serve you well for the rest of your life.  I'm very sorry you are having to go through so much difficulty though.  I'll continue to think about you and pray for you everyday.  I know how hard this is - I've been through it, and still go through it on some days.  I don't say too much about it, because it's just become a part of life for me, I guess that is acceptance as well.  

 

Take care, hang in there, and don't give up!  You are a major inspiration to me, and to many others on this forum.    

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Just adding my positive thoughts, Erell, and adding to the reminders of how much strength you have within you.   Each day is a day closer to recovery.  You will get there!

 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear @Erell I send you many hugs and good wishes.  Thank you for sharing your experiences.  

I will hold the thought of your symptoms improving.

Arbor 😘

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022

Link to comment

(((Erell))). It is so hard to fall back into a wave.  It’s like winning something and then being told it was all a big mistake, only worse.  
 

I used to describe windows and waves long before I found SA.  I said that I felt I was swimming in a canal such as the Suez Canal.  I swam across one lock while the water level dropped beneath me.  On the other side I would have to climb the wall to get out.  I could see the water level close to the top of the wall.  Climbing out would be quick if I could get there fast enough.  I was swimming against the current created by the water flowing out a point behind me. By the time I reached the wall, the water had dropped so far that I had a long climb ahead.  As I climbed, water rushed back in above my head, and washed me off the wall and back to the other side.  I would start to swim again as the water flowed out behind me.  That was what PWS felt like for me.  

 

I did not know at the time that there was a way to make headway.  I did not even know it was WD.  You are making headway, Erell.  You are climbing to the top of each wall.  You may have many to climb ahead of you, but you are not being washed away.  You are swimming in a strong current waiting for the time you can rest at the top of the next wall.  You don’t know when you will reach the top, but you know you will.  You will get that rest.  Keep swimming.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Brave Erell. Holding you in my prayers and thoughts.

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Oh, I'm so glad my post sounded strong and not triggering, I was scared of having made a negative post.

 

Thank you, thank you : I'm re-reading some part of my thread with your encouraging words because today is especially hard ❤

 

I'm struggling with these weird restless spikes, those who urges you and say "you can't keep going like this, it needs to stop now". It is as much physical as mental. Like a kind of 'mental aka'. It climbs and climbs and it is really hard to remember that it can subside again. Spending the day shaking in fear and a feeling of emergency.

 

I think this uptick took me by surprise as my 2 previous cycles were a bit easier, more bearable.

It always feels traumatic to fall back in old intensity. And despite practicing acceptance as best as I can, this intensity still turns me into a frightened child.

 

Time to read my favourite Success Stories and keep swimming as Rosetta said ❤

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Sending you (((hugs))) @Erell. Am praying your next window is very soon and a long one. And a much better baseline after this wave xxx

January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped.

 

 

 

Link to comment

(((Erell)))

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Dear @Erell

I have been reading trough your thread, to see if I can find any pattern with your intake of fluoxetine. Know these are only my observation and thoughts, I hope you dont mind. I just really think there must be something that can be done to ease your symptoms and make you stable. Your suffering is really heartbreaking and I wanted to let you know of my thoughts.

 

So I can see that in September 2020 Alto said her guess is that this activation is coming from fluoxetine and suggested a small drop. Have you considered trying a really small drop, like going to 6.9mg? I know its scary, I have been in your shoes, but I was thinking, it might be a risk worth taking. I know we are all different and how some doses affect me, dosent mean you will feel the same. I also wanted to let you know that when I reached 9 mg in fluoxetine, I called my doctor crying and really scared and told her I felt like I had consumed 10 coffees. Her suggestion was to up my dose, but I didnt. Now after I have reduced to 7.2 I dont have the boiling vein symptom anymore, might not be relevant but might also be. 

I can also see that your symptoms ramp up during your cycle. So if you would consider a tiny reduction you might want to wait till it passes. 

 

I just wish there was something I could say or do to help you out, no one should suffer like this. The only thing that I know for sure is that it will get better Erell, nothing lasts forever.

 

Strength is what we gain, from the madness we survive

 

Big hugs sent your way💗💗

 

 

 

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello,

 

@Hanna72 : I don't mind at all, in fact it is extremely generous from you to try to help me, thank you ❤

 

Well, this is exactly my dilemma since months

- I could be suffering from intense Paxil WD.

- I could be suffering because of too much Fluoxetine.

(or both 😉)

 

I've received a lot of advices, several people generously tried to support me by sending me private messages :

 

- 50% told me I needed to decrease Fluoxetine, that it sounded like activation from too much SSRI.

- 50% told me that my CNS is extremely destabilised by Paxil WD, that I need to do nothing for a looong time before considering a tiny drop, perhaps 2 years.

 

Exactly like the two voices in my head 😉

And I believe these two advices can be true : nobody can predict what Will help me the most.

If I chose to decrease my Fluoxetine, I will have to assume my responsabilities if things get worse,  and I don't know if I can handle a worsening.

 

This little drop of Fluoxetine is indeed in my mind, but I know I'm particularly restless and looking for quick fixes while having my periods, so I'll re-consider it when feeling a bit calmer. 

Damn hormones, would love to be a man these days !

 

And oh I hear you about the 10 coffees, I'm so glad you don't feel like this anymore !

 

Thank you again dear for your support, I appreciate it more than I can say ❤

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

I know its difficult, and my belief is that you are not looking for quick fix, you are mainly looking for stability and function, which should be our number one priority. 

I will send you a link, you probably have read it already, but I will send it anyway.

Its a graph on the occupancy of fluoxetine. There you can see clearly that even under 10mg the occupancy is quite high. So even though you do a tiny drop, it should not make alot of difference with the inhibitors, but might calm your system though physically.

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Relationship-Between-Striatal-Serotonin-Transporter-5-HTT-Occupancy-and-Dose-or-Plasma_fig2_8583114

 

 

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

Link to comment

Hello lovely Erell,

 

Oh I am so sorry you are struggling in a hard wave.  From what you describe it feels like a "step back" so the positive I take from this is that your baseline had improved.  So as hard as it is to be experiencing these old symptoms again, it is really good to know they weren't there or not as intense until recently.  This brings me hope you will get back to that better baseline (although I know it still isn't ideal by any means).

 

You are doing brilliantly, as always, hanging in and doing your best to get through this which you will.

 

Thank you for being here and for all of your supportive messages to me and others here.  

 

I am thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts and hugs,

WR

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello dear friends ❤☀️

 

A little update : 14 months after my Paxil to Prozac bridge and still struggling a lot, I've done a ~1.15% drop on Wednesday 23th June and I'm now taking 6.92mg Fluoxetine.

 

I tried to find a semblance of a middle way between the advices, between holding option and lowering option. So I've decided to do a tiny cut to test the water, see how my body reacts and if, perhaps, some of my symptoms may come from too much Prozac.

 

So far, after 15 days, I don't think it has made a difference. At least it gives me the feeling of moving forward, without taking too much risks.

 

I'll stay there for at least 6 weeks considering Prozac's half-life and will see then.

 

------

 

I'm struggling a bit these days with my daily life and the lack of progress in my abilities.

Since 14 months, I struggle with intense agoraphobia, intrusive thoughts and impulses and high sensitivity to sounds/lights/stimulations.

Because of these, I'm mostly housebound.

I force myself regularly, but even after 14 months it is still as hard as months ago, and I don't feel like I make progress on this side.

Going in the store to buy food, walking in the city, talk with people,...all these things still feel as terrifying and insurmountable as 14 months ago, despite keeping trying.

 

When I read testimonies and Success Stories, I see that people seem to manage to do more after this lenght of time, managing to force themselves, to override symptoms to go back gradually in the "real world".

I dream about going out, but I don't manage to leave the house.

 

I know we can't compare journeys, and I'm probably sensitive to people around me who dont understand why I don't manage to do more after months. 

 

But, still, I could use some examples to identify and find a bit hope because I'm starting to feel like I'll spend the next years traped between 4 walls.

 

Would some people who still felt housebound, agoraphobic after one year or more and saw progress agree to share with me ?

Or agree to share with me some links to stories that could resonate with my experience ?

 

I thank you in advance, and as always send all my support ❤

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Erell said:

When I read testimonies and Success Stories, I see that people seem to manage to do more after this lenght of time, managing to force themselves, to override symptoms to go back gradually in the "real world".

I dream about going out, but I don't manage to leave the house.

 

I know we can't compare journeys, and I'm probably sensitive to people around me who dont understand why I don't manage to do more after months. 

 

But, still, I could use some examples to identify and find a bit hope because I'm starting to feel like I'll spend the next years traped between 4 walls.

Hi Erell

 

If it helps, I felt much the same way in the middle of my taper and WD. Many people on the old PaxilProgress site seemed to be recovering at a faster pace than me.  My problems centered around health anxiety and guilt, but it was the same persistent feeling I wasn't making any progress.  And like you, I felt nobody other than my therapist could understand or truly support me. 

 

But I did make it through to recovery.  I can't say there was one day when I woke up and told myself "I'm better!" Rather, it was a slow realization that some of the things that would have sent me into a downward spiral no longer has as much an effect.  Once I recognized that, I was able to use my coping skills much better to manager intrusive and negative thoughts, and my recovery sped up a bit.

 

Be kind to yourself during this time and accept that it will take as long as necessary.  I know how difficult it is; we just get tired of feeling bad all the time.  But it will get better.  Take care!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Erell said:

 

When I read testimonies and Success Stories, I see that people seem to manage to do more after this lenght of time, managing to force themselves, to override symptoms to go back gradually in the "real world".

I dont agree with that erell or i may be from people who dont have the journey of feeling progress in, as time passes.

Iam more than two years in withdrawlas and still may feel like iam at the beginning of the journey. There are no rules and tiny changes, tiny things can affect your symptomts unexpectedley.

Of course it is hard to think you will be traped for more time but as i always tell you: you know nothing about future. Future may be much better than you expect it.

 

i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

Link to comment
  • Mentor

I agree with above statements. It doesn’t just happen it’s so slow you don’t hardly recognize it. Like mstimc I too have health anxiety and guilt in a wave. Continue to do what you can do . Hang in there Errel !

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

Link to comment

Yes it is slow and almost unrecognizable at times, but it does get better.

 

I had 2 years of derealization where I felt no improvement. However after 2 years things started slowly lifting away and one day it just felt like it was almost gone. Looking back it was hard for me to see how I made it from point A to B because the process was so slow and gradual I wasnt able to place many markers of it actually happening, until one day I realized it did!

Hope that makes sense.

 

Also, I dont think you choice to decrease your dose is a terrible idea.  I know the advice is when symptoms are bad to stay put. But I think sometimes doing a decrease can change things for the better. As you know there are risks and you chose a very small decrease so it shouldnt be overwhelming.

 

Best of luck!

40 yo Male. Started Paxil about 15 years ago. 10 mg (pill weight .125 - .129 g). 5 yrs wanted less side effects, doctor took me off Paxil over couple week period and put me on Wellbutrin. Not good. Went back on Paxil. Relieved my symptoms, but didn't work as well and more side effects. Severe reaction between Paxil and Zomig Summer of 2012. Head was affected during warmer days (cloudiness, confusion, pressure). Began 10% withdrawal 10/24/12.

Withdrawel helped many symptoms, but also added side effects: nausea, dizziness, tiredness. Hyper-anxiety started January 2014.

Went through a 2 year period of de-realization (2016-2018).  Rarely any windows.  
Current dose: 0.00 as of 4/10/21.  Made a lot of progress in my withdrawal symptoms the last 2 years of my taper.  I think doing a liquid taper helped stabilize things on the lower doses.  A lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly.  Hoping for even more improvement now that I am off.
My thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8909-rusty1-paxil-withdrawal-help-and-advice-welcome/#entry150222

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Dear @Erell

On 7/7/2021 at 11:38 AM, Erell said:

So far, after 15 days, I don't think it has made a difference. At least it gives me the feeling of moving forward, without taking too much risks.

This is great news, I am glad that it didn’t make things worse for you🙏
You so deserve a break sweet girl 💕

 

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy