Isolating as self-care?

[Nikki]

I've got some confusion going on about this. Don't know if it is "me", Celexa, post taper, or being sick with a couple of bacterial infections. Or all of the above?????

 

About two weeks back, a friend (over brunch) told me not to talk about my imipramine taper, she said it was old and no one really wants to hear it. The truth is, I never told her about it while I was going thru it. I basically didn't really talk to anyone, except a few who have my back covered. I felt bad. Like I lost a friend. I know I did not innundate her with it.

 

Post taper with the insomnia being so bad, I have stayed in on weekends to try and nap. This is Jupiter Florida. It is beautiful here and I haven't been enjoying the outdoors. I've been 'holed up.'

 

I am findig that I have trouble returning calls. I haven't really been making calls either.

I have had lots of issues lately, both physically/personally and don't want to be a broken record.

 

I have also been wondering about having outgrown two friends. You know, reaching a saturation point. Maybe that is healthy. They are not.

 

Other people are not responsible for my happiness. However I am going thru a spell here. I don't want to talk about being sick, I sound like Debbie Downer from SNK I don't feel well. I feel a complete lack of motivation. Everything is an effort, including emptying the dishwasher.

 

Can we talk about this and your experiences, thoughts.....so glad I found you all

[Jemima]

After I tapered off of Lexapro I seldom left the house for the first two or so months. It was a supreme effort to just get groceries or take the trash out. I know now that was due to high levels of Cortisolwhich caused super-sensitivity to light and noise, and a lack of sleep. Insomnia was a big problem. Often I was up all night and certainly didn't feel like bouncing out of bed bright and early and running errands. There were a number of times when I just stayed in bed for two or three days at a time.

 

Be easy on yourself. What you're going through is very likely due to withdrawal and it's probably best to do what feels right, even if that means missing some nice weather or postponing calls.

 

What has helped me a lot is following the suggestions in this Symptoms section regarding sleeping problems and Cortisol - sleep in a darkened room, wear a sleep mask, wear sunglasses in bright light (even if that's inside the house), and avoid computer use after sundown. These tips help a lot with insomnia and for me, once I was able to get a good night's sleep, other symptoms started to diminish, too.

 

Hang in there, do the best you can, and forget what you "should" do. Withdrawal causes a lot of sickness and it's just as legitimate as having the flu or worse. Things will get better.

[elizabeth11]

 

Post taper with the insomnia being so bad, I have stayed in on weekends to try and nap. This is Jupiter Florida. It is beautiful here and I haven't been enjoying the outdoors. I've been 'holed up.'

 

I am finding that I have trouble returning calls. I haven't really been making calls either.

I have had lots of issues lately, both physically/personally and don't want to be a broken record.

 

I have also been wondering about having outgrown two friends. You know, reaching a saturation point. Maybe that is healthy. They are not.

 

Other people are not responsible for my happiness. However I am going thru a spell here. I don't want to talk about being sick, I sound like Debbie Downer from SNK I don't feel well. I feel a complete lack of motivation. Everything is an effort, including emptying the dishwasher.

 

Can we talk about this and your experiences, thoughts.....so glad I found you all

 

Nikki-

As a person going thru the same thing, you sound incredibly "normal".

 

Insomnia that makes the waking hours difficult, being 'holed up', lack of motivation, doing anything feels like so much effort, more than you think you can muster, is EXACTLY how I feel too.

 

The feels of desperation to want to be 'normal', back to our old selves, is so strong. Acknowledging that we are sick, I think is important, to allow us to do what we need to do to stay as well as possible. When you are sick, you are giving yourself permission to be yourself which is a-okay.

 

If your friend is not able to help or be understanding, than the loss is hers.

 

You have plenty of friends that understand on the most personal level exactly what you are going through on this board. We're ready to help as much as we can!!

 

Elizabeth

[Whatever]

For six months I rarely went out of the house. Going to the grocery store took a lot out of me.

 

As for this person who feels inundated about your WD - if it were me I would end the friendship. Going through WD changed how I defined friendships. Many fell by the wayside and I have no regrets about it. Also it is perfectly normal to outgrow relationships. Especially as we grow older and obtain different kinds of responsibilities.

 

The reality is that you are sick, though some of your illness is from the WD it should be regarded just the same as any standard medical illness. And you should let you friends know that you are sick but don't go into any details.

 

I think that wanting to isolate is a typical symptom of WD.

[Barbarannamated]

Nikki ~

You put words to my feeling extremely well - I refuse to be that broken record b/c I feel like I did it for so long while ON ADs but unable to put anything into action presumably due to Antidepressant Apathy Syndrome (see thread Apathy vs Anhedonia)-

 

I was used to being outside every day b/c weather is generally good here in S Ca and to not get outside for a day used to be odd - now there are many days and weeks that go by and it feels so foreign to not get outside -

I'm definitely seeing a different side of friends - I suspect this may be most difficult for friends who only know how to 'do' things to help and not 'be' present and supportive when they don't see results of their efforts to help - ive asked a few friends just to drop me a brief email during their day and they absolutely don't get that someone in today's busy world might be so unbusy that a little message saying hi is significant -

Your friend sounds very selfish with strong issues of her own - im sorry that you've been hurt by her inability to deal with her own stuff - I've Really had to not talk about any of this with friends who are on antidepressants or have family on them - as much as I try to be gentle and try to talk about my individual case I'm sure my feelings of anger/wanting to protect others comes through -

I know I've talked about this issue before - I think I started a thread about Isolating - you can use SEARCH feature to find previous discussions - Solitary confinement vs Isolation is one

[alexjuice]

Nikki,

So well said. I know exactly how you feel.

 

I have some relationships that are strictly superficial and I don't talk about my health. These are, ultimately, probably bad relationships.

 

Also, I know I risk fatiguing my family so I try not to "over do" it with my day to day struggles.

 

We are in a tough situation. I accept that and also I know that isolation is not the answer.

 

I am working on ways to find support for myself. I don't know yet that I'll be successful.

 

But I totally, totally understand where you are coming from. It is very lonely for us, sometimes.

 

Alex

[Barbarannamated]

When I told a friend about my individual case she said "you should start a group online because there are probably other people who are going through similar things" - HA - got a good chuckle out of that one -

[alexjuice]

Yea, that's funny Barb. Not to hijack, but when I saw the "functional, integrative" doctor for my reflux last month she told me about the dangers of benzos. She said that there were forums on the internet about the dangers of psych meds and I should use google to try to find some to learn of the risks. Ha!

[Barbarannamated]

If they only knew …they might learn something …

 

Then there are ones who chastise such groups with comments like "if you talk with people in those groups you only see the people with problems" •

I say PLEASE tell me where to find people who have DC'd ADs easily because I'd love to know where the 'majority' of people who have no problems are (per the literature) - I personally know ALOT of people on ADs but not one who have been on for a period of time and DC'd without incident -

Heck yes- I realize that any 'support group' will tend to draw people who are having difficulty and are finding no support and DENIAL in the medical community -

Aaargh

[Nikki]

I made a typo.....It was supposed to SNL for Saturday Night Live with Debbie Downer...LOL

 

My friend has changed. She used to be there, and is no longer available. She is seriously addicted/obsessed with her former spouse who is a pedifile. She divorced when I did in 2003 and for the last 9 years cannot and will not stop talking about him or get herself into recovery. She ws traumatized. She can no longer allow us to speak without interrupting us, dominating the conversation about "Joe". He molested her younger brother & sister and remained married.

 

She is doing what she does because of where she comes from, and can't really see it as an issue.

 

When she told me not to talk about the taper, she then went on for an hour or so about that lunatic. Unfortunately she was one of the most compassionate and helpful friends ever. It has morphed into self absorption.

 

I guess I am feeling the loss.

 

I know that I was experiencing isolation to rest. No energy. The insomnia is gone, now it's the intestinal issue. These antibiotics have made me ill and scared. I feel like and old sack of bones who cannot stray too far frome a bathroom

 

A good friend reminded me to talk to myself the way I would a good friend. I have alot of work this week, hopefully I will be feeling better. Thank you.

[Shanti]

Oh yes, this is a big issue for me as well. My friends don't understand that I am SICK. I am too sick to chit chat on the phone or go anywhere. They take it so personally and I've dumped a couple of friends because of their selfishness in this. If they can't see that I either need support or simply to be left alone while I'm going through the roughest time in my life, then they aren't a true friend to me.

 

We had a discussion before about the phone issue but I can't find it. I rarely answer the phone and I don't return calls. For a while, I was even having panic attacks when the phone would ring. I don't anymore and I do answer the phone more, but I still have no qualms about just ignoring it when I don't feel like talking.

[drugged]

Seeing how many of us tend to isolate ourselves at some point or another for various reasons, it occurred to me to wonder if seeking isolation might be an instinctual way to provide self-care for a sensitized nervous system that is struggling to heal itself.  It seems reasonable that the less outside stimulation and stress the nervous system has to expend energy on the more energy is available for rebuilding damaged neurons.  

[Altostrata]

See prior discussion, above, of this topic.

[Giulietta]

This is such an important topic. I have always tended to be a bit 'self-isolating' because I am fairly introverted (even though most people describe me as very friendly) - however - I do see that as long as I am feeling OK - I am better to be out and mixing withi people. And I choose to be with  people I am comfortable with and who I know accept that I am not feeling well for one reason or another (I don't tell everyone I know I am tapering off these meds).

 

As Alex Juice (above) said, we are in a tough situation. We dont' want to over do with family (I haven't told all of my immediate family - let alone others), therapists are not a subsitute for friends. I think it's important that peole we care about and who care about us  - accept us for who we are. I know when I go out on a limb and let people know about this - I feel a sense of relief. I want people to understand why I don't often feel well, why I have to decline (maybe at the last minute) a social invitation, etc. If they don't - well, they are not my friend.

 

I may send a text to someone to let them know I am thinking of them - I don't often feel inclined to pick up the phone myself.

 

 

[marie123]

I have a very dear friend who I once asked to go to lunch because I needed someone to talk to about my health issues. I told her about my stuff but she just seemed annoyed and played it down. Recently she had asked me to lunch. After knowing her for over 25 years I knew something was wrong so we met for lunch. She has some serious health issues going on and I was there for her. I listened, I let her unload on me, and I gave her advice just like a good friend would. Only very close family and a couple friends know. I felt badly that she didn't even try hard enough to understand. I guess some illnesses are invisible so it's hard to "get it". 

 

I'm an introvert and like to isolate so a lot of times I'm okay with just being alone at home. I would like to be able to go to the gym a lot like I used to though, but I just don't have the energy.

Marie.