sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

[Tom37]

Not feeling too great myself but this setback won’t send you back to the beginning. Your nervous system is very fragile and can’t handle stress like a ‘normal’ one can. So you may not feel very good but it will get better and in time you will be able to handle the stress you can’t now. It’s not easy because we have to expose ourselves to stress at times and it’s hard to know what is ‘too much’ . Too much work, too much exercise, too much of anything.....hard finding that balance.

[sunnysideup69]

2 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Not feeling too great myself but this setback won’t send you back to the beginning. Your nervous system is very fragile and can’t handle stress like a ‘normal’ one can. So you may not feel very good but it will get better and in time you will be able to handle the stress you can’t now. It’s not easy because we have to expose ourselves to stress at times and it’s hard to know what is ‘too much’ . Too much work, too much exercise, too much of anything.....hard finding that balance.

It really is, Tom, ...I'm even wondering if I 'should' be jogging/running at the moment. I go twice a week. Also do some strength training at home. I think I'm bouncing back a bit today, still felt mildly panicky this morning but the tools on here/listening to Claire Weekes is really helping. Sorry you're not feeling too good. God, it's such a slog, isn't it? We're gonna come out of this with some serious psychological muscle, we're already developing it, in fact.

[sunnysideup69]

Feeling a bit better today, but my notes for yesterday are a bit ridiculous. NOT a typical day. Have just taken myself out for a walk and am feeling hungry, which is a good sign.

 

Notes for Wednesday 7th November

No timed notes today. Have been completely and utterly exhausted by the panic I created in myself about work stress. Lots of palpitations in the morning and early waking. Spent most of the day either sitting on the floor trying to seek telephone advice from work union, or sitting on the sofa, staring into space. Totally forgot to use any coping skills. Feeling awful. But at least there's a reason and it's not 'just' WD. You'll get a better set of notes tomorrow.

[Giulietta]

Hello Sunny,

 

I saw the note on @Erell's post - and I'm so sorry about your brother. I had a similar situation with my brother years ago - and my closest friend I lost in March this year. Anyway - I know she us in one of the starts looking down upon us. She knew of my situation and supported me.

 

30 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

My brother went into hospital with a stroke in mid August, just when I was at my worst, and they also discovered he had a brain tumour. I was only able to visit him once, never since. I felt terrible.

 

I am sorry not to have responded to your note earlier. I don't know how I missed it even though I follow you. Would you kindly @Guilietta me until until I figure this out? 

 

@Tom37 same here. I adjusted who I am following - I had to trim it down since I am indundated.

 

I am feeling terrible now and fairly not functional. NOt to hijack your thread.

 

It is frustrating - you feel like you've got a little wave and now this little set back. It will pass. That your boss continues to support you is a blessing.

2 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

No timed notes today. Have been completely and utterly exhausted by the panic I created in myself about work stress. Lots of palpitations in the morning and early waking.

 

Usually my case about the notes. I have such a wide variety of symptoms throughout the day that unless t hey are incapacitating or new - I dont' jot them down. Is your situation about the same? I am not able to look back at your logs.

 

Don't let work stress you out, worsen your health, or make it first. I wish I had stepped up for my needs in my previous jobs. One of my previous jobs -   I made decisions that favored my employer - while I sacrificed my needs.  I did not see the father of a dear friend in his final illness = and he had very much wanted to see me.  I put work first only to have my job (and department) elminated about 5 months later.

 

Again sorry. Today is off to a terrible start.

 

Hugs,

giuilietta

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Guilietta, sorry your day started badly, really hoping it has improved for you. Thanks for this kind message- yeah, it has been hard about my bro. I feel like we're going through parallel experiences, his stroke has left him confused and disoriented, as has my WD. I'm hopefully going to visit him in hospital one day soon. Looks like he will have to go into some kind of care home, he's not looking after himself too well.

 

It's sad. He's only 61. I'm the baby, at 50. 

 

My brainstorm seems to have calmed down today, was dodgy on waking with palpitations and anxiety, but I forced myself out for a walk, did some shopping, tried to think through my meeting with the boss and decided that I had vastly over reacted. God, WD brain is very trying. It's like the 'alarm system' seems to go off at the slightest trigger. Seem to have pulled myself out of the emotional spiral today, if you wait long enough, it seems to burn itself out.

Today, I've tidied up the flat a bit, going to give it a proper clean tomorrow, do some yoga. Very chilled out, calming things.

 

Anyway, waving at you from London. Winding down for bedtime. See you tomorrow xxxxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Giulietta]

Hello @sunnysideup69

 

Sounds like your day picked up - and you are relaxing now. I'm glad to know this. My dizziness and head turns abated around 11 a.m. and I had regained sufficient  balance and strength in my legs to walk about 11.30 a.m. This afternoon I was able to be out to local shops to do a few errands but coping with assorted emotional ups and downs. The activites distracted me from the ruminating.

 

You and your brother are it seems in parallel universes for lack of a better expression. Does your brother have family - children maybe?

 

So you are fabulous 50! I am fabulous 57 and the older of two. To be honest it often seems like I am younger of two.  

 

I often have to force myself to do things (now) and if I just do smaller things - rather than thinking about them in advance - I do better. Bigger things (like trips into the city) need a bit of planning  - so I have some control and fewer surprises.

 

On the other hand - unless I commit to taking a vacation - unless I buy the ticket - I may never go. This pre-dates WD and CT. I now can't imagine going more than 50 miles away. I used to pick up and go to the UK and Europe - and now could not dream of it. 

 

Well - that is a big goal to march toward.

 

2 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

It's like the 'alarm system' seems to go off at the slightest trigger. Seem to have pulled myself out of the emotional spiral today, if you wait long enough, it seems to burn itself out.

 

Exactly. Some days I'm able to be calm and reflective about a situation - and many times I over-react, catastrophize, what if, and ruminate on a number of cognitive distortions. At least I am wising up to it. Long way to go to improve though.

 

My neurologist often starts her response to my impassioned questions (read: catastrophizing, worrying and the like) with 'let's unpack this.' Most recently this was with the brain zaps - and were these seizures, what were then, etc.  It can be a good start to examine a situation.

 

What method(s) do you find help with this.

 

Well done on picking up your flat! @Erell and I have a running conversation about picking up our domiciles (and my nemesis: paperwork!).

 

Have a lovely and relaxing evening. I'm looking forward to watching a DVD after practicing 'presence'. Uusally I fall asleep but I keep trying.

 

Hugs,

Giuilietta 🤗

 

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Thursday 7th November restarted fish oil today, one capsule, 1200mg

 

Very disrupted sleep, still ruminating over work stress, awake at 4, back to sleep

 

5am up, palpitations and misery 4, feel exhausted

630 breakfast, feel a bit more appetite today, anxiety 4

7am Venlafaxine 75mg XR, anxiety 3, decide I need some fresh air today to clear my anxious head

8am warm bath, temperature dysregulation

9am out for a walk, don't want to go as jelly legs and a bit short of breath but feel better as soon as outside, mildly panicky 2 but gone in 5 mins

10am return home anxiety subsiding 2 and now work.rumination seems to diminish

11am ravenously hungry, hardly ate yesterday, eat lunch, take 1200mg fish oil

12 anxiety gone

Spend afternoon relaxing inside watching comedy, realising I really over reacted to work situ

1700 strength exercises at home

1800 eat supper, really hungry

Spend evening tidying around flat and listening to music, feeling calm.

2130 bed

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

15 hours ago, Guilietta said:

 

My neurologist often starts her response to my impassioned questions (read: catastrophizing, worrying and the like) with 'let's unpack this.' Most recently this was with the brain zaps - and were these seizures, what were then, etc.  It can be a good start to examine a situation.

What method(s) do you find help with this.

 

Hey @Guilietta, no, my brother doesn't have a family. He had quite a toxic 'partner' for a while who I felt made him feel very bad, but she has disappeared since his stroke and hospitalization, thank goodness. And he is so forgetful after his stroke and operation, he seems to have forgotten her.

 

I'm exhausted and achey and feeling crappy today. No major anx/dep, minor wobbles this morning, but I've got body aches/headache, and just feel under the weather. Am pretty sure though, it's not an actual cold, it's WD. Do you ever get this? Have still been out for a walk and to the shop, but I just feel like hibernating today, and resting. Have started a 30day 'sugar detox', not gonna eat refined sugar for a month, was getting into eating too much.

Texted my boss to let him know I'll be back next Wednesday, and got a lovely response, so I was definitely over worrying about nothing. Managed to exhaust myself this week. I think lots of rest for me this weekend. Gonna do Park Run tomorrow but then gonna rest up and watch movies etc.Nothing else in the calender for this weekend, so just going with the flow.

I like your neurologist's response to the catastrophising. The things I tend to do are distracting myself, if I can feel I'm falling into a catastrophe-hole; and also, trying to recognise that 'these are just thoughts and I don't have to believe them.' It kind of puts a distance between myself and the thought. Getting out and going for a good walk. Doing something physical, to try to break the mental loop. Legs up the wall yoga also really calms me down.

How ya doing today?

 

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Am curious- anyone out there- how many of you get flu like symptoms as part of WD? Am feeling rotten today. Got very stressed this week, felt a lot better yesterday emotionally, but today have aching muscles, jabbing pains, achey head, temp dysegulation. Go away, fake-flu.

I'm realising I was getting this a lot last year when I updosed Citalopram. There's no end to what these drugs do, is there?

 

Also, this is giving me a lot of comfort today.....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQtO6HXJfjw

 

[Giulietta]

Hello Sunny

 

Just a quick note - I know it's the end of your day. I have a family event today at the house - and it's stressful and  a lot of work.

 

3 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

how many of you get flu like symptoms as part of WD? Am feeling rotten today.

 

I have experienced a lot of congestion, runny nose, going through a box of kleenex for a number of days at a time. I knew that flu like symtoms were part of WD (or could be) but just observed this. The clincher is tht I live with people whom I would have expected to catch from me (older - not such good immune systems) - but they did not.  It was not allergies - which I have early spring and late fall (this was the summer).

 

Company just came. Will write more later.

 

I hope I get to chill and watch movies today too.

 

Giulietta

[sunnysideup69]

2 minutes ago, Guilietta said:

Hello Sunny

 

Just a quick note - I know it's the end of your day. I have a family event today at the house - and it's stressful and  a lot of work.

 

 

I have experienced a lot of congestion, runny nose, going through a box of kleenex for a number of days at a time. I knew that flu like symtoms were part of WD (or could be) but just observed this. The clincher is tht I live with people whom I would have expected to catch from me (older - not such good immune systems) - but they did not.  It was not allergies - which I have early spring and late fall (this was the summer).

 

Company just came. Will write more later.

 

I hope I get to chill and watch movies today too.

 

Giulietta

Hey @Guiliettait's 1730 here in London. Sending good wishes for your event xxxxx

I want this fake flu to go away, chat more later xxx

[Tom37]

Feeling like I have the flu or another type of illness has been a constant part of my waves and it’s what makes them so tough physically to deal with. I don’t get the aches or anything I just feel like you do when you have a bad stomach virus or something and you just are in a lot of discomfort and nothing takes it away. It’s hard to even go for a walk around the block yet pre wave I was walking up 5km tracks up a peak. But it’s so clear it’s wd as different than actually being sick. Just wish I knew what these symptoms meant and what stage my body was at in recovery.

 

Glad your feeling bit better about work situation. Being in a wave let alone wd makes everything that much more intense and for me it makes me doubt what I can do which just adds more problems but one thing I have found is you can do so much more than you think you can. Everything just seems to get blown out of proportion and then when the wave ends you can’t believe you stressed about it.

 

Have a good night.

[Giulietta]

Hello @sunnysideup69 - back to complete my message....

 

How did you do after (yesterday?)? It sounds like you did enjoyable things - walking, visiting the shops, but also stressful like communicating with your boss and starting a diet change. Hope you got to relax as well.

 

10 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Have started a 30day 'sugar detox', not gonna eat refined sugar for a month

 

Do you mean refined carbs?  A ketogenic diet (re: your youtube post)?

 

I wish you a ton of luck on your sugar detox!

 

I have comments about appetite, weight, and diet management - I don't want to hijack your thread on this so will write on mine about this (tomorrow).   I have started to read through on this subject in self-care.

 

10 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

if I can feel I'm falling into a catastrophe-hole; and also, trying to recognise that 'these are just thoughts and I don't have to believe them.'

 

Thank you for the tips about managing catastrophe holes. Great expression. 🤣 I am able to see other people's catastrophizing thoughts much better than being able to identify when I am falling into them.  Is catastrophizing  'what if'ing'?

 

3 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Just wish I knew what these symptoms meant and what stage my body was at in recovery.

 

Not that I am aware @Tom37. I wish I did. It would make planning something easier.

The day is nearly done, thank goodness.   After  picking up, cleaning up, and picking up -  I am tired of playing hostess and glad to have time to myself to focus on the positive and relax.

 

I you are having a restful sleep,

Giuilietta 🤗

[sunnysideup69]

10 hours ago, Tom37 said:

Feeling like I have the flu or another type of illness has been a constant part of my waves ....... But it’s so clear it’s wd as different than actually being sick. Just wish I knew what these symptoms meant and what stage my body was at in recovery.

Thanks @Tom37, I thought I had a cold several times on the Citalopram, and now twice on the Ven. But it never 'breaks', I'm just shivery and a bit achey  and generally have that feeling of malaise, as you describe. So I'm pretty sure it's WD, and yes it's always part of a wave.

I snuggled up on the sofa most of yesterday, fell asleep around 7pm, woke at 1030pm, went to bed and have now awoken at 5am. Tonnes of sleep.Very weird dreams.

Work stress definitely has knocked me into some kind of a wave again. How annoying.

Me too, I also wish I knew where I was in recovery. Still able to run5k twice a week, but honestly it's more of a gentle jog..try to get some strength exercises in at home also. Gonna get myself back to yoga on a Tuesday. Might join a gym in December and do some really gentle weights work.

Physically, at the moment, it's most often my stomach that is symptomatic....gurgly/ a bit painful/ indigestion/ dyspepsia. It's the thing that keeps coming back. I've even cut out the magnesium, cos I think I was reacting badly to it, even a little. I was making home made milk kefir and drinking it daily, have had a bit of a break. That seemed to ease my stomach a bit.

Anyway, hope your day has been an improving one and if not, take heart, it's coming. I'm just waking. Not sure what the day will bring this Saturday. Gonna jog and do the hoovering, thrilling stuff 😂

[sunnysideup69]

3 hours ago, Guilietta said:

Hello @sunnysideup69

 

How did you do after (yesterday?)? It sounds like you did enjoyable things - walking, visiting the shops, but also stressful like communicating with your boss and starting a diet change. Hope you got to relax as well.

🤣

Hey Guilietta,

Had a bit of a rough day yesterday, was just miserable on and off, with a few windows of feeling better here and there. Generally one of those days where I feel no optimism about the future/ I'm stuck like this etc. Had no energy in the afternoon, I just sat on the sofa under a blanket, and watched Peter Breggin MD on YouTube. I was scared to watch him before, he is a non-prescribing psychiatrist and I didn't feel ready to hear what he had to say about what psych drugs do. He's very good, and I found him to be highly compassionate.

By about 5pm my mood was a bit better but still exhausted, so stayed put. Around 7pm fell asleep. Woke with a start at 2230, took myself to bed. Now it's 5 30 am. I did wake briefly in the night, but fell asleep again.

Got a really nice, supportive message from my boss yesterday. I actually do like going to work, I only do 3 days per week, it gives me some sense of normality and contact with the world at large. It's just that my stress tolerance seems very low at the moment, and schools can be pressured and stressful.

First day of no refined sugar. So, no chocolate. I had been getting back into a chocolate habit. I don't eat white rice or bread, but I do like some roast potatoes 😋 Still feeling a bit 'meh' on waking today, but hoping this will improve as the day goes on, will maybe even have a tiiiiny bit more energy. Let's see.

Glad your event seems to have passed successfully yesterday. I'm intrigued. What kind of an 'event' is it?

Sending hugs 🤗

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Friday 8th November

First day of cutting out refined sugar

Not such a great day, still feels like part of a wave which has been occurring since about last Saturday/Sunday, brought on by work stress. Or rather, my reaction to work stress. Got lots of sleep though, which is pretty healing, so am glad of that.

 

4am awake, so listened to relaxation on YouTube

515 got up

545 anxiety 3, WD cold symptoms

615 breakfast

630 dizziness/pressure in forehead, this is pretty much daily, worse in a wave, and am sure it's from low Venlafaxine level in system. 

700 anxiety still 3 take Venlafaxine 75mg XR

710 warm bath

730 low mood 3

930 low mood briefly leaves but is back and forward with anxiety all morning, both around 3. I do get out for a walk and do some shopping. Do meditation when I get back.

1300 eat lunch, then 1200mg fish oil

All afternoon, feel exhausted and sad, hunker down on the sofa under a blanket watching Dr. Breggin on youtube

1700 feeling a bit better, eat some supper

1900 must have fallen asleep around now

2230 wake with a start feeling low 3, take myself to bed

 

It's been a really sludgy day, also it's getting a lot colder and I'm really finding it hard to adapt

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

I hope to pick up again soon, it's really tedious being in a wave. November has got off to a poor start so am hoping it can only get better...fingers crossed.

I'm having some ridiculous thoughts this morning, such as worrying about death of parents/siblings/moderators on surviving ads and then thoughts about getting sacked. Being lonely and miserable for the rest of my life. I'm almost laughing as I type this as it's so melodramatic.

One thing is different though, I'm not bugging anyone with questions about 'is this a wave?' That's a small improvement and implies a tiny degree of acceptance and trust, if only for five minutes. This morning, life still seems very dull, as if there will never be any excitement again....but then I remind myself on Thursday I had nearly a whole day of feeling better, minimal anxiety, and a really happy evening. And planning for the future.

Chin up, it's a wave. Provoked by getting overly stressed. Writing about it helps. Hope it's not too triggering for anyone following this thread.

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Ha! Evidence of the windows and waves subsystems switching on and off has just happened right here.....extraordinary. Woke up feeling really miserable. Suddenly, around 9am, it's like a switch flipped and I'm up, in my running gear and ready for a jog, feeling much brighter. A subsystem has suddenly flipped back on. Welcome relief, however long it lasts. Also noticing how much it's linked to weather, the sun came out an hour ago and my mood really improved with that.

[Erell]

Oh sunny, how sweet it is To read about this switch! ❤🤗 Enjoy it !

 

 

[Benzhelp]

2 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I hope to pick up again soon, it's really tedious being in a wave. November has got off to a poor start so am hoping it can only get better...fingers crossed.

I'm having some ridiculous thoughts this morning, such as worrying about death of parents/siblings/moderators on surviving ads and then thoughts about getting sacked. Being lonely and miserable for the rest of my life. I'm almost laughing as I type this as it's so melodramatic.

One thing is different though, I'm not bugging anyone with questions about 'is this a wave?' That's a small improvement and implies a tiny degree of acceptance and trust, if only for five minutes. This morning, life still seems very dull, as if there will never be any excitement again....but then I remind myself on Thursday I had nearly a whole day of feeling better, minimal anxiety, and a really happy evening. And planning for the future.

Chin up, it's a wave. Provoked by getting overly stressed. Writing about it helps. Hope it's not too triggering for anyone following this thread.

 

 

Hi sunnysideup69,

Thank you for your updates. 

Sorry you have being having a hard time recently. Hope things get better for you very soon <3 

The thoughts/feelings you describe are common even in non withdrawal for most people I think, but definitely can be more intense in withdrawal or with these drugs, can relate and sympathise.

Please be gentle with yourself. Doing things one loves/enjoys and are healing, helps shift the heavy vibes a bit to a lighter one. 

Glad you are seeing improvements, even small ones are a reason to rejoice. You are so brave.

Wishing you all the best on your Healing Journey, Sunnysideup <3

Blessings, Healing, Peace and Love <3

[sunnysideup69]

2 hours ago, Erell said:

Oh sunny, how sweet it is To read about this switch! ❤🤗 Enjoy it !

 

 

Thanks @Erell, thanks very much! A bit tired now, went for a jog, but definitely improved since yesterday. Hopefully on the way up again.

[sunnysideup69]

@Benzhelp, thanks so much for your kind words...this site is truly wonderful. 

And you're right, I never had such random intrusive thoughts until antidep withdrawal...ugh. It's really hard not to get sucked in, but thankfully, mood suddenly lifted and I've been feeling a wee bit better since around 10am. More energy than yesterday, so fingers crossed, the wave I've been experiencing this week is maybe easing up a bit.

I'm going to have a read of your thread, see you're drug-free now! Wow! That's amazing, well done and congratulations. It's a huge achievement.

Love to you x

[Giulietta]

Good day, sunnysideup!

 

You have been quite a prolific writer and very informative about your wide-ranging emotions and activities. It's nice to know that you have ended thing on an uptick, had a good night's sleep, got out for a jog and started your sugar detox, got a call from a supportive boss and I don't know what else I missed.

 

Bit of a read here...brevity is the soul of wit as Shakespeare said and apparently I am witless.

 

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Still able to run5k twice a week, but honestly it's more of a gentle jog..try to get some strength exercises in at home also. Gonna get myself back to yoga on a Tuesday. Might join a gym in December and do some really gentle weights work.

 

Good for you. I tell myself that some time on the treadmill is better than no time (I try 45 min of 4.5% incline at 3.5 mph every day - if I do NOTHING it's easy to break a good habit I worked hard to cultivate).  Have you tried using dumbells at night while watching TV, youtube or listening tno music? Again - even some are better than none. PHysical activity as much as much as we manage without exacerbating WD is so good for our brains.

 

3 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Also noticing how much it's linked to weather, the sun came out an hour ago and my mood really improved with that.

 

Quite. Have you started with your list of what to do for the many days of cloudy weather we are in for?  I have a light box but honestly can't say it helps. I wish I had not wasted the money.

 

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I actually do like going to work, I only do 3 days per week, it gives me some sense of normality and contact with the world at large. It's just that my stress tolerance seems very low at the moment,

 

Have you thought about tutoring? I don't know if there's much of a market for that or if it may be an easier situation. I have thought about going back to school for an MA - but it may not be a) of value for getting a better job and b) I can learn this on my own by reading. I had years ago wanted to teach the history of western civilization and developments during the age of enightment and the 2 WWs (the truth about them) - but there is not much of a call for that, very sorry to say. Too bad because the world could learn a lot.

 

5 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I'm having some ridiculous thoughts this morning, such as worrying about death of parents/siblings/moderators on surviving ads and then thoughts about getting sacked. Being lonely and miserable for the rest of my life.

 

I'm sorry you're having these thoughts but also glad you penned them. We are in a huge group of people with these thoughts - you were brave to mention them.  I experience the same about my parents, siblings, and dog - parents are 80. Dog is 14. I don't consider myself catastrohizing or what if'ing. As you said in your post - these negative thoughts repeat themselvees when we are tired and over-stressed. It is really hard to be rationale about what we know is part of the lifecycle. I ask myself how I will live without them - even when we have spats.  Maybe asking others how they accept and move ahead for us.

 

Any others worried about these losses and how people cope?

 

5 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I'm not bugging anyone with questions about 'is this a wave?' That's a small improvement and implies a tiny degree of acceptance and trust, if only for five minutes. This morning, life still seems very dull, as if there will never be any excitement again....but then I remind myself on Thursday I had nearly a whole day of feeling better, minimal anxiety, and a really happy evening. And planning for the future.

Chin up, it's a wave. Provoked by getting overly stressed. Writing about it helps. Hope it's not too triggering for anyone following this thread.

 

Well put. Your comments about asking if you are in a wave are not too triggering for me. I don't post more unless I have something to share, I'm in a bad way and need encouragement, feedback and support. I know others may need more support more than me  - and that we all handle how we are handling this differently.

 

I may be more lilly livered that others on SA but cannot bring myself to watch the best of people - Breggin, Whittaker and all - talk about the truth about ADs. Learning more than I know is triggering for me so that I am able to watch them. What I would watch:

• How many prescribers 💩 lose their licenses  to practice over this malpractice - temporarily or permanently
• Drug company BODs, management, and the legions of other 💩 (multiply by a factor of x) who know about these drugs are investigated and held accountable
• The FDA and EMEA, and regulatory agencies and legislators be investigated and held accountable
• How we can recover from WD and years of exposure to these drugs.

Yup. Can you tell I'm on (another) tear about this today. Maybe because I'm tired after yesterday and overly stressed.  I cannot accept this or get it out of my head - even on windows. 

 

Yesterday was a birthday party. A little bit of socializing goes a long way with me 🙄 (as @Gridley has mentioned - 3 hours is about it and that includes 'breaks'). Today I need to keep to myself and have some control over my life and do the errands I needed to yesterday. Tonight is dinner as a follow-on to tomorrow's party - but no cleaning involved. Yeesh. 

 

Will write about food for WD recovery on my page later (time permitting) and some questions maybe - so hope you will chime in about your sugar detox, etc.  Would love your comments. I know diet changes are stressful. Can you eat almonds or healthy fats instead? Or perhaps whole grain crackers (or digestives). Hee we have triscuits which are tasty (get the 'hint of salt' variety) with a little protein....yum...

 

Well, sweetie, here's to a good day in London. Freezing here 22 F at 6 a.m. (when I got up). This week low temps in the US are expected to set record lows. This is of course according to last night's weather forecast. 🤣

 

Giulietta

💗

 

[sunnysideup69]

@Guilietta,

Haha, your intro made me laugh. 

Hmm well, I haven't tried dumbells at home, but I do a set of exercises like sit ups etc. Still not sure about the gym.....but I did used to really enjoy lifting a bit of weight...so we'll see.

 

Yeah, also, I did tutoring, but to be honest, I prefer teaching in school, for some reason. I think with private tutoring, as people are paying you, they tend to dictate what they want you to teach a bit....and it's often exam prep, which I find really turgid.

 

You're right about the gloomy thoughts, too, we all have them....they just seem very shouty in my head when I'm in a bit of a wave. They seem a bit less this morning so that's a positive.

 

We've got early morning sun here so am gonna get myself out into it and finish this post later, hun. Have a lovely rest of your day and sleep well xxxxx

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Saturday 9th November

 

450 awake after restless sleep and dreams, awoke with palpitations

6am anxiety around 3

630 breakfast, dizzy as per usual

7am Venlafaxine 75mgXR, low mood is creeping in around 2/3

730 warm bath low mood/anxiety 3

900 beginning to feel better although tearful, take 1200mg fish oil

1000 switch flips in brain and I suddenly feel much better, no anxiety/depression, more energy

1030 out for a 5k run/jog

1230 eat roast lunch, morning has been okay with minor wobbles, anxiety 1/2

1500 quick shopping trip, brief anxiety/flatness spike around 1/2

 

The rest of the day, feeling pretty much ok, not happy but okay and getting on with everything

 

1900 fell asleep on sofa

2100 woke, no cortisol spike, eat a snack

2230 bed

 

[sunnysideup69]

Well, not out of wave yet. Despite an ok start to the day, I'm feeling pretty crap by midday. This has been going on since last Sunday now, really, with a reprieve on Thursday and also yesterday, which was good. I don't feel 'flu like' today but my body feels really weak and shaky, stomach out of sorts, anxiety is the main emotion. Horrible. Gah.

Slept quite badly last night, too, kept waking, so definitely something going on in my poor brains. Cooking lunch at the mo but will do some legs up wall yoga, later. Just typing here helps a bit.

Also, hyper sensitive to sound today. Started listening to a podcast this morning but I just couldn't bear the sound of the man's voice and had to turn it off.

[sunnysideup69]

Posting a lot today because I'm bored and wavey. I'm gonna list some things I've managed to do today even though I feel like absolute pants.

 

1. Did some meditation, made me feel briefly better.

2. Did legs up wall yoga, which was lovely.

3. Spoke to parents on phone and made their day, according to them.

4. Cooked myself a really nice lunch, even though anxious.

5. Reached out to people here and chatted.

 

Even though I feel bad, am getting through the day. Just got to let more time pass.

[Henryk12]

On 11/8/2019 at 12:03 AM, Guilietta said:

Hello @sunnysideup69

 

Sounds like your day picked up - and you are relaxing now. I'm glad to know this. My dizziness and head turns abated around 11 a.m. and I had regained sufficient  balance and strength in my legs to walk about 11.30 a.m. This afternoon I was able to be out to local shops to do a few errands but coping with assorted emotional ups and downs. The activites distracted me from the ruminating.

 

You and your brother are it seems in parallel universes for lack of a better expression. Does your brother have family - children maybe?

 

So you are fabulous 50! I am fabulous 57 and the older of two. To be honest it often seems like I am younger of two.  

 

I often have to force myself to do things (now) and if I just do smaller things - rather than thinking about them in advance - I do better. Bigger things (like trips into the city) need a bit of planning  - so I have some control and fewer surprises.

 

On the other hand - unless I commit to taking a vacation - unless I buy the ticket - I may never go. This pre-dates WD and CT. I now can't imagine going more than 50 miles away. I used to pick up and go to the UK and Europe - and now could not dream of it. 

 

Well - that is a big goal to march toward.

 

 

Exactly. Some days I'm able to be calm and reflective about a situation - and many times I over-react, catastrophize, what if, and ruminate on a number of cognitive distortions. At least I am wising up to it. Long way to go to improve though.

 

My neurologist often starts her response to my impassioned questions (read: catastrophizing, worrying and the like) with 'let's unpack this.' Most recently this was with the brain zaps - and were these seizures, what were then, etc.  It can be a good start to examine a situation.

 

What method(s) do you find help with this.

 

Well done on picking up your flat! @Erell and I have a running conversation about picking up our domiciles (and my nemesis: paperwork!).

 

Have a lovely and relaxing evening. I'm looking forward to watching a DVD after practicing 'presence'. Uusally I fall asleep but I keep trying.

 

Hugs,

Giuilietta 🤗

 

 

 

Please my head tilt upward ,turns sideways ,like shaking. You did say something about head turn abating . Please I’m scared I have cervicle

dystonia 

[Tom37]

When I’m in a wave I don’t really think too much about work or work stress to be honest. Im more focused on just getting through the day and getting done what needs to be done and sometimes just actually surviving the day. Probably get more concerned about the wave lasting a long time or my recovery going backwards meaning that I will have to stop working. 

 

One thing i do is try to reduce stress as much as possible and I learnt early on in wd that I cannot deal with confrontation like I use too and if I do it goes over in my mind over and over for a few days. On one occasion I thought a colleague would never speak with me again and hated me because of our conversation....I entered a wave just after it happened and my mind wouldn’t let go of it until the wave ended. I also avoid a couple of people who are very difficult to deal with as I don’t need the stress. Just have nothing to do with them as don’t need them in my life at all. 

 

I try to plan ahead and breakdown would could appear to be a difficult situations into a more realistic one. Break it down and take it one thing at a time until it’s done.

 

Work is never easy in a wave and i struggle big time some days and with wd you never know what is going to come back to bite you mentally in the future so I’m always mindful of that now in windows.

 

Not too sure about you but work has for the most part been good for me, it’s just the big waves where it can become very difficult.

[sunnysideup69]

2 hours ago, Tom37 said:

 On one occasion I thought a colleague would never speak with me again and hated me because of our conversation....I entered a wave just after it happened and my mind wouldn’t let go of it until the wave ended. I also avoid a couple of people who are very difficult to deal with as I don’t need the stress. Just have nothing to do with them as don’t need them in my life at all. 

 

Work is never easy in a wave and i struggle big time some days and with wd you never know what is going to come back to bite you mentally in the future so I’m always mindful of that now in windows.

Well, I've tended to avoid going to work, and I don't think it's helping me, as I'm pretty functional despite being in WD, even in waves eg I'm not bed bound.

I think I need to reframe work just as something that's going to help me get through the day, really.

I'm a cover teacher at school, part time, three days per week. I think this should be manageable this year. Still allows me four days to rest, if I need it. Cover teacher duty means teaching someone's class when they have time out for paperwork. Luckily, I have really nice people to cover this year. Noone especially tricky to work with, well, maybe just one, but only for an hour.

I'm a bit annoyed that recent work stress seemed to unsettle me, then send me into a wave. But perhaps the wave was coming, anyway....it's hard to know. I guess it's easy to get caught up in trying to figure out 'why' it's happening, when what matters is getting through it.

Anyway, appreciate your responding even though in a wave. Well done on work yesterday, sounds like it was tough but you handled it really well.  💪👊

[Tom37]

You never do know if the stress triggered the wave. For me they just generally happen when they want to happen. Only time I think I’ve brought one on was through to much exercise.

 

You just have to try to find the right balance which isn’t easy with the waves and windows we go through. Maybe try to put some things into place to avoid what does stress you out and hopefully it will work for you and make sure you always put yourself first and don’t be afraid to say no as we are limited in what we can do during this period.

[sunnysideup69]

Struggling a bit and fed up. Any motivational words appreciated.Since Saturday 2nd I have felt steadily worse, with a couple of almost full days reprieve. I guess this is a wave?

 

 

Notes for Sunday 10th November. Not a great day, still stressing and in a wave, not sleeping too well over last week. Dyspepsia all day around 4/3, anxiety all day around 4/3

 

445 fully awake after lots of disturbed sleep in the early hours

515 up, stuffy nose, itchy eyes

600 to 700 low anxiety on waking, gradually increases 3/4

700 take Venlafaxine XR with breakfast

730 warm bath

930 bit of a window, meditate and do odd jobs around flat

1145 window closes, peak of anxiety about 4, legs turn to jelly (after eating a handful of cashews. Weird.)

1330 eat lunch then take 1200mg fish oil

1345 feeling a bit better

1500 go out shopping, feeling anxious

1700 feeling better

1730 strength exercises

1830 supper, then feel tired and cold and shivery

2100 fire alarms go off in communal area and wake me up from dozing, anxiety increases again

2230 bed, feeling anxious

 

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Monday 11th November

415 awake, dyspepsia and anxiety 2/ 3

515 get up

630 breakfast, anxiety creeps up to 4, lots of gut discomfort

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR

730 warm bath anxiety still increasing

800 anxiety 5, dyspepsia 5, palpitations

I go for a walk and to the shops to try to walk off some adrenaline

900 beginning to feel better, anxiety goes, window opens

1230 window closes, anxiety spike, jelly legs...low blood sugar? Anxiety 2/3

1300 eat lunch, do meditation, out to shop

1630 from here, anxiety reduces to zero

1730 eat supper feeling good humoured and relaxed

1930 round about now, accidentally doze off on sofa

2330 wake and put myself into bed

 

Note to self; I think nuts and seeds are a bit hard on my digestion at the moment. Gonna go a bit easy on their consumption.

 

 

 

 

 

[Erell]

Hi dear Sunny !

 

Thank you for your encouraging words on my thread.

 

You must be at work,  just wanted to send you big hugs. Take good care of yourself and remember, the only thing that matter is your health ❤

 

🤗

[Giulietta]

Hello @sunnysideup69

 

Sorry not be around. I am trying to keep a low profile ad see if I don't spend time - my syptoms are better.The disadvatag is I cannot talk wtih y'all (as people who live in the southern US say). I am from the northeast so I find this expession a bit odd.... I had two housemates during my college years from the south. They also had someunique things - like shrimp gumbo, grits and otehr strange meals.  I used to say 'eat your grits and grit your teeth!.' Oh, and don't forget okra. They also fry everything! Don't ask me what got me on that roll.....maybe you got a few chuckles.

 

I would think being a subsitute teacher (what you call a cover teacher) would be stressful. Maybe British kids are a bit better behaved that US pupils. Doyou have a speciality - history, science, etc.?

 

It does sound like you might be in a wave and it is exhausting. We are in WD normal - and then plauged by rash of more acute symptoms.

 

I had a meeting with a 💩 MD this week. I handled it well but  now how to decide how to handle it. I thought of you.

 

I have plans to go out on Sunday afternoon and hope I am feeling well (as can be expected) to make the trip.

 

Hope things are looking better for you today.

 

Must dash.

 

Hugs. Your friend across the pond.

 

Giuilietta

[sunnysideup69]

Hello everyone, I'm still alive, just spending time offline. Sending love and good wishes x This was my first week of 3 full wekdays and it went well. However, I must insist on taking breaks etc. and not overwork.

 

Tuesday 12th November

Restless sleep, awake a few times, back to sleep

520 got up, anxiety about 2

630 breakfast

700 venlafaxine 75mg xr

1215 LUNCH, ANXIETY GONE, doesn't return

1800 supper

2000 bed

0000 awake, go back to sleep

 

Wednesday 13th November

Restless sleep, awake a few times, back to sleep

520 got up, anxiety about 2

630 breakfast

700 venlafaxine 75mg xr, dizziness until 745

1115 ANXIETY GONE, doesn't return

1220 lunch

1800 supper

2100 bed

 

Thursday 14th November

Restless sleep, awake a few times, back to sleep

520 got up anxiety 1

630 breakfast

700 venlafaxine 75mg xr anxiety gone

1215 LUNCH

1800 supper

2100 bed

 

Friday 15th November

Very wakeful sleep , return to sleep every time but feels disjointed, pretty much same pattern as above, today extra tired but am doing okay.