sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

[Giulietta]

11 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

meditation, fall asleep (no more meditation in the evening, unless it's directly when I arrive home)

2150 put myself to bed, fall asleep easily, some waking when dreaming but I think I manage about 7 hours, bit broken

 

If any consolation - even directly after dinner - when it was suggested to me - I drift in and out of sleep. I was told that our brains are too tired to concentrate - meaning concentrate on doing nothing - or focus on doing nothing. I may try earlier in the day - play it by ear when I am more relaxed and my mind is not darting here and there.

 

12 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Eat chocolate, oh dear

 

Enjoyed a delicious lemon/poppy seed scone (not the oversized American variety) - so don't feel so bad....

 

1 hour ago, sunnysideup69 said:

5 rhythms...it's a movement meditation practice. Feeling a bit nervous about going and it finishes when I'd normally be going to bed, but at least it will stop me from napping in the evening!

 

Positive expectations! It will be healthy and mindful and keep you from napping....

 

1 hour ago, sunnysideup69 said:

will respond properly to your lovely message tomorrow

 

No rush..... Glad work has gone well.

Hugs,

Giulietta

[sunnysideup69]

11 hours ago, thelegend said:

aounda like you are making progress, that is really good!

 

@thelegend, I really hope so....got a good feeling about this year. I've been struggling badly with destabilisation since May 2018, a year before I joined here. It's now January 2020, so some steadier state would be most welcome! Really enjoyed going out. I also know I'm improving because my outlook has suddenly become more optimistic, I know I'm going to recover eventually and taper off. Back in the throes of it, I told myself that, but WD makes it hard to believe it. You've kind of got to fake it until you make it, at that point.

 

WD is such an up and down process of worsening and getting better.

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Thursday 9th January 2020 ❤️ a window of a day ❤️ 

 

Probably woke around 400 then drifted in and out of sleep, alarm startled me at 5am

500 get up

600 minor anxiety, eat breakfast

700 anxiety around 2, take Venlafaxine 75mg XR and 1100mg fish oil

745 arrive at work, anxiety minimal 2/1

1000 feeling normal, I notice

1215 lunch

1630 arrive home, take a shower, eat a light supper

1915 arrived at 5 rhythms (movement meditation), see familiar faces - it's wonderful to be back here again and I'm happy

2215 arrive home, wind down with a herbal teac and go to bed

2245 bed

 

[thelegend]

Awesome, so great to get a window...enjoy it!!

[sunnysideup69]

4 hours ago, thelegend said:

Awesome, so great to get a window...enjoy it!!

Thank you @thelegend ❤️ 

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Friday 10th January 2020 ❤️ window, all day ❤️ 

 

445 awake

520 got up, no anxiety, mood is good, little bit achey from movement at 5 rhythms - feels good to have that ache again

700 Venlafaxine 

700 breakfast

800 warm epsom salts bath

1300 lunch

1530 gym exercises

1800 supper

2100 computer off, journalling and reading 

2150 bed 

Ideally, computer needs to go off at 2030 but am going to work towards that ❤️ This is my new bedtime routine, I'm going to diffuse some lavender oil during this last hour of the day and shower, also.

 

Also, have stopped the fish oil for a while. My skin has been breaking out a bit. I realised I've been eating quite a lot of oily fish/fats and wonder if my liver is having a hard time processing all the oil at the moment. Will experiment with leaving it out over January and see what happens and how I feel- ideally want to be getting omegas from food sources anyway. 

 

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Guys, just out of pure interest, how much sleep are you getting in WD? Mine can vary from 6 to 7 hours, sometimes broken, some times not. Eg last night, got 6 hours straight through, then a restless, in and out of REM remaining hour or so. Care to share?

Any tips for good sleep hygiene? I'm implementing a new routine.

[Giulietta]

On 1/10/2020 at 1:19 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

WD is such an up and down process of worsening and getting better.

 

Hello Sweetie,

 

I am thrilled you have enjoyed consecutive windows! And that you are enjoying going out. We  can be thankful to be getting our lives back. I am happy for you.  Yes, you wouldn't believe WD is an up and down process. No one else would either....

 

@thelegend same will happen for us. We need to 'roll with the punches'

 

About the sleep issues. Funny you shoudl mention. I had been doing well. Cortisol spikes resumed in a more severe state - not just feeling anxious - but tremors, high level of anxiety, and I don't kow what else. I got about 6.5-7 hours of sleep.

 

I have been advised to go to bed at the same time and a little later - so I am trying 10. I sleep inconsistently and am very happy if I get up only 1x and overjoyed if I get up only 1x.  I may get about 7.5 hours.

 

However on nights when I am not relaxed, on the computer too late even with blue light blocking glasses, and even reading, I tend not to sleep well.  My mind is too busy.  I toss and turn, wake up a few times,poor sleepl qualilty.

 

Sleep hygeine plan:

Meditate after dinner - or better if before dinner.

Lift some dumbells (try to keep the batwings at bay) and PT - before 7.30ish

May get on the computer until 8 - 8.30 or try and evaluate my day (this is a poor time as I can only get depressed about what I didn't get done..)

Change, brush teeth, etc.

Read for a bit and by then it's bed time.

 

What I hve been advised to do: a gratitude list and positive expectations every night.

 

Also - have positive expectations every night for 3 hours before you go to bed. It has been demonstrated that the brain remembers what it is thinking/feeling the last 3 hours. So I shoudl not look at my undone items, worries, etc.

 

Hugs,

G.

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Guys, just wondering what you make of this. Over the last week, my complexion has got a lot worse. I'm having breakouts of spots quite badly, especially around my mouth and chin and weirdly, also got some on my eyelids.

I think I'm gonna take my face to the GP next week to rule out anything else. But could this also delightfully be to do with WD /  switching drugs? Bloody annoying if it is......My skin also can't seem to decide if it's going to be dry or oily. 

I'm 3 years post menopause. Would have thought swinging hormones would've caused acne already, if they were going to.

However, I guess switching from one drug to another could well have caused some kind of hormonal blip.

I hate facing the world with a spotty face

[MissyE]

15 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I hate facing the world with a spotty face

My dear Sunny.  We've chatted about this before.  It's horrendous; I hate it and try to stop myself living in fear of it coming back.  As if we don't get anxious enough in WD we get to feel like an absolute spotty bugger too.  I had it on my chest, neck, back shoulders and even arms too.  Weird white heads and boild that hurt but would realease when k tried to squeeze them (I'm a picker for my sins, made it much worse).  I'm not menopausal  it's all WD related in my opinion.

I went to the gp and they diagnosed acne rosacea (I didn't realise it was WD then, not that the GPs would have believed me) and prescribed various things that didn't help, except advising me to stop using my Sonic complexion cleaner, which l concur was way too harsh for my sensitive skin; and keep things simple.  In the end l gave up on all the medical treatment. It made no real dent.  Also l now know antibiotics and AD don't mix.  I was on ABs for a good 9 months. 

I'd been to a tropic skincare party, but was very sceptical about their (or any other) products.  I've spent a fortune over the years for this and various other societally enforced flaws. 

However, my friend's skin cleared up, as had the Tropic ambassador's (her friend).  Also you get a 30 day money back guarantee.  Which l used with the face mask (I can't be a**ed with facemasks, but am can be a real sucker for a quick fix) also my Tropic ambassador is very good, so bit by bit l moved over (it's super expensive) because this seemed to calm it.  We're all different of course (my skin is different from theirs).  Currently my skin is ok 🤞.  Except my left eye has flared up a bit, underneath lid.  I put this down to having come off my antihistamine as well as AD WD.

I feel your pain.

I felt like a sweaty, greasy, flaky, spotty mess, especially at the gym which is my main social circle.  So humiliated.  My skin has never known if it's oily or dry.

I hope you find something to soothe and calm it.  Remember even though it sometimes feels like it, you're not alone.

🤗 Missy x

[Erell]

Hi dear Sunny, 

 

I see you have now some days with a full window all day, what a great progress ! see how much you're healing? 😃

 

37 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I think I'm gonna take my face to the GP next week to rule out anything else. But could this also delightfully be to do with WD /  switching drugs? Bloody annoying if it is......My skin also can't seem to decide if it's going to be dry or oily. 

 

I think that it is possible that all the answers you'll get is : yes, it can be related to WD  It seems that everything is possible in WD! You can go to the GP and maybe eliminate other possible issues.

I always had a dry skin, but in WD it is much worse!

 

Anyway, I'm so glad to come here and read about your windows ❤️

[sunnysideup69]

4 minutes ago, Erell said:

Hi dear Sunny, 

 

I see you have now some days with a full window all day, what a great progress ! see how much you're healing? 😃

 

I think that it is possible that all the answers you'll get is : yes, it can be related to WD  It seems that everything is possible in WD! You can go to the GP and maybe eliminate other possible issues

 

Thanks lovely @Erell, been thinking about you and wondering how your week went...yeah, I bet my GP will say antideps don't cause spots  Haha, we know better. They have also made my face really dry. Anyway. Gonna try to stop obsessing about my face now. Put it into perspective. I'm feeling better and more like going out, even with my skin doing weird things.

 

 

 

5 minutes ago, MissyE said:

My dear Sunny.  We've chatted about this before.  It's horrendous; I hate it and try to stop myself living in fear of it coming back.  As if we don't get anxious enough in WD we get to feel like an absolute spotty bugger too.  I had it on my chest, neck, back shoulders and even arms too.  Weird white heads and boild that hurt but would realease when k tried to squeeze them (I'm a picker for my sins, made it much worse).  I'm not menopausal  it's all WD related in my opinion.

 

 

Yes @MissyE, I reckon it's WD plus switching meds...my skin is showing what has happened inside. It's taken a while to catch up. Suddenly over December, my skin started doing odd things. Ugh! Hope it clears up soon. Will investigate Tropic. I tend to use a lot of Lush produce. It's so annoying that as I start to feel like I'm stabilising, my skin has a breakout. Skin now needs to stabilise, too! It shouldn't matter so much, but hell it does. Mine sounds equally weird as yours, tried to squeeze a spot and it was just watery and blister like. I don't think it *is* shingles, but I wanted to rule that out. Yeah, I don't think it's menopause either....think it's just another of the lovely gifts of WD/ antideps.

[sunnysideup69]

1 hour ago, Guilietta said:

 

Hello Sweetie,

 

I am thrilled you have enjoyed consecutive windows! And that you are enjoying going out. We  can be thankful to be getting our lives back. I am happy for you.  Yes, you wouldn't believe WD is an up and down process. No one else would either....

 

 

Also - have positive expectations every night for 3 hours before you go to bed. It has been demonstrated that the brain remembers what it is thinking/feeling the last 3 hours. So I shoudl not look at my undone items, worries, etc.

 

Hugs,

G.

 

 

 Thank you dear @Guilietta, consecutive windows have been a real blessing. I'm so grateful for them.Believe it or not, am also going out again tonight. Made the decision this afternoon...have spent so much of the last year and a half not socialising, now I'm really wanting company. I'm going to a 'sound healing' this evening.....by the delightfully named Dreamtime Orchestra. Singing bowls, gongs, shamanic drums....I think it's a lie down and meditate/listen affair.

 

Ooh that's interesting about the 3 hours before bed. I did some journalling last night before bed with gratitudes. Managed not to nap at all. Went to bed a little before ten, woke up at 4am....six straight hours, rather than a broken 4 then 3 or whatever I've been doing.  then dozed for another hour and a half. Going to be strict now about no sleeping before bedtime.

How've you been, hun? x

[sunnysideup69]

Good morning all. Contrarily, I am missing doing my diary online. I think I'm still going to do it. I'm in a relatively smooth patch again at the moment with windows/ not too severe symptoms. I think I want to keep logging entries until I've had a month of mostly windows, partly for SA online records; I know we're all different, but actually reading others progress reports has really helped me keep going.

Also, last three nights have not allowed myself to nap before bed. Last night, went at 2200 and didn't get up this morning until 600 !! I did wake a couple of times in the night, but I got back to sleep pretty quickly. It's always in my REM sleep that I wake up, which is interesting.....I read somewhere in psychoherapy training that one way to 'lift' someone's depression is by interrupting their REM sleep, there was some suggestion that depression is linked to spending too long in REM stages. This is also linked to negative rumination during the day...will try to find the source. We also know that antideps disrupt sleep architecture. Anyway...........

 

Notes for Saturday, 11th January, 2020 ❤️ Another good day, minor anxiety ❤️ main symptom is spots/eczema and a bit of rumination about them

 

Last night, bed at 2150, slept straight through until 400, six hours straight sleep. Then snoozed til 530

530 up

630 - 700 low anxiety, about 1/2

700 Venlafaxine 75mgXR

800 some ruminating about my skin, it's breaking out

930 return from 5k run, feeling good

945 warm bath

1345 minor dip in mood (still stressy about skin, tbh)

1430 lunch, then 1100mg fish oil. Have decided to resume. Doubt it's suddenly responsible for skin outbreak, and anyway, DHA and EPA are good for curbing inflammation.

1745 leave home to go out, get to tube and Jubile line is out from my stop....too much of a faff to get bus into Lonon, so I go home again.

1815 home again, start binge watching series on BBC iplayer, relax

2030 all screens off (proud of self), journal a bit and read Baylissa's book, it's really helpful

2150 bed

 

About the zits. Decided to reframe them as a further sign of healing and stabilisation. Body letting go of crap that it doesn't need. Main thing is, I'm seeing improvement in mood and outlook and if that comes with a few spots, I'll take it.

[sunnysideup69]

Hi @Gridley, bit worried about my skin. 

I've got a bit of a rash/sensitive facial skin. Pretty sure it's not acne as it's also on my eyelids.

 

You posted me a link to skin/acne/ hives before in this thread. Suppose I'm wondering if it could be an adverse reaction to the Venlafaxine?Although that would be strange, because it didn't happen straight away. Started the Venlafaxine (and hence straight switched from Citalopram )  in August and this hasn't started appearing until November, from about midway through the month.

Has gradually progressed from a strange rash under my left eye to being under my right eye also, corners of my mouth both above and below. Also faintly above top lip.

Nothing on cheeks or forehead. Haven't changed my diet radically or anything over the last few months. My skin feels kind of tingly and a bit sore...really does feel like some kind of allergy response.

 

I have a hunch that it's somehow connected to discontinuation of Citalopram. I know Citalopram is a mild antihistamine, so I guess when you stop it, you can have higher levels of histamine for a while? I know you're not gps, and I will go to the doc, but do you think it's possible it could be a rebound WD response to stopping the Citalopram, even 5 months out? GP will probably poo-poo that idea, but as we know, anything is possible........

Do adverse reactions to drugs tend to show up straight away? ie if it was a rash in response to Venlafaxine, wouldn't that have happened immediately? 

 

In other news, I'm actually beginning to feel a lot better. More consistent days of feeling ok  Weirdly, as my skin looks worse.

[Gridley]

2 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

bit worried about my skin. 

Sorry you're having this problem.

 

My guess it has more to do with Citalopram WD than adverse reaction to Vet.  I'm basing it mostly on the timeline.  Adverse reactions are more immediate, and this didn't show up for three months.  Three months is the time when WD symptoms often first appear, and three months (more or less) is the timeline from when you quit the Citalopram in September and when the symptoms first appeared in November.  Citalopram is mild when compared to its monster cousin, Lexapro, but still packs quite a wallop.

[sunnysideup69]

39 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Sorry you're having this problem.

 

My guess it has more to do with Citalopram WD than adverse reaction to Vet.  I'm basing it mostly on the timeline.  Adverse reactions are more immediate, and this didn't show up for three months.  Three months is the time when WD symptoms often first appear, and three months (more or less) is the timeline from when you quit the Citalopram in September and when the symptoms first appeared in November.  Citalopram is mild when compared to its monster cousin, Lexapro, but still packs quite a wallop.

Thanks @Gridley, yeah, that's what I was thinking.....I'm gonna go to the GP to rule out shingles, it's quite sore and a bit blistery. And the skin is a bit flushed. And aggravated by heat.....after I've eaten, after a shower etc.

 

You're right, quit the Cit in mid August and mid November the first appearance of this rash happened under my left eye. Bang on time, 3 months. Hope it goes away soon. It's quite sore and stingy. Weird that it isn't appearing anywhere else.....yet.

 

Have just looked at a pic of nerve endings in the face and, wouldn't ya know, the rash appears right at the ends of the major nerves. I reckon something is happening on the left side of my brain right now as I'm so rashy on the right side.

 

Also since mid November, have had an ulcer in my mouth that wont go away. Weird. Will get that checked with my face.

[sunnysideup69]

Oh those symptoms, they come and they go, they switch and they change.

 

I've got spots and rashes. BUT I'm sleeping a lot better. Hooray! Sleep is getting better because I'm not napping. Must have had about 7 hours at least, last night, probably 7.5, a bit restless in the end but better quality.

 

Currently, symptoms are mostly to do with skin, which is new. Not only have I got a spotty face, I've also got some weird sensations on my skin, like creeping, crawling flesh. Yesterday, my brain also 'shivered' a couple of times. I felt the whole thing tingling. It wasn't unpleasant, but it's new, certainly never had this before. And my face randomly flushes with heat. It's not the same as a hot flush, have had plenty of those. It's less whole body, more facial nerves.

 

However, overall and mood wise, I'm doing better. Yesterday felt a bit stressed about face, but then let it go. Like everything else, skin will heal. On the plus side, I've bought some nice Clinique cleanser. Might even treat self to a posh facial next month. Haven't done that in years.

 

Also had a really good cry, which was cathartic. Spoke to parents about bro. They went to see him in retirement home. He's not doing so well. Very withdrawn and in bed. He's also still having radiotherapy on his tumour....I don't know what to think about that. I'm going to make the effort to go and see him, soon. Maybe at the weekend. I think I could cope with it now. Dad warned me it's quite depressing, although the carers in the home are wonderful. Think I've begun grieving my brother already, have done for a while to be honest. We lost him to alcoholism years ago.

It was good to feel something and to cry. Also put my obsessing about spots into proportion. Nobody cares about my spots apart from me.

 

[sunnysideup69]

Ok, I wasn't going to continue notes, but have decided I will until I have a good stable month....not perfect, just WD normal. I'm making notes on paper, also, but it's kind of enjoyable making a record here and it keeps me feeling connected to people who actually understand. It's somewhere to place those dang symptoms that nobody else really understands....

 

Notes for Sunday 12th January 2020  ❤️ A decent day, WD normal ie mostly alright with occasional dips ❤️ 

 

Had about 7.5 hours of sleep, wakeful now and again but got back to sleep. Again, wakeful during REM sleep.

520 properly awake.

600 got up, made tea, still on two cups of Earl Grey, will try reducing to one next weekend

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR Anxiety around 2 this morning, still a bit obsessive about my spotty face

800 warm bath

 

This morning, I'm lesson planning for school, keeps my mind nice and occupied

 

1300 part 1 of lunch, plus fish oil 1100mg, decided it has nothing to do with spots and the rashy face is just WD, some slight increase in anxiety to about 3 but I think it's low blood sugar as am hungry, this then gradually reduces to 2, tension in arms and feeling a bit shaky

1400 lunch part 2 is ready

1430 call parents, sad news about brother's state, however I cope with the news okay....just last month, talking about my brother was sending me into a meltdown so this is progress

 

Rest of the day was okay. Set aside some time for grieving about brother. He is still receiving radiotherapy for his tumour. Feeling sorry and sad and a bit overwhelmed by his and my sister's health deterioration. But this is normal and proportional grief, although it does obviously make WD symptoms a bit more wobbly.

 

1800 supper and watch two episodes of The Greatest Dancer.

2030 screens off

2130 bed, really sleepy

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

I'm posting a lot this morning, seem to have verbal diarrhoea. But I just wanted to share some news that I think is good, as well as having shared the struggles.

 

Just had a look at my chart and, within the last 20 days, my state has been mostly WD normal (anxiety average about 2/ max 3) with a good chunk of windows. I've only had two days in that time which were extra wobbly and that's owing to lots of travelling in a short time and anticipating going back to work after the hols.

I've also made myself stick to a sleep schedule since last week and it's paying off. I'm waking feeling a bit calmer. Not perfect. But not awful, either.

 

I'm really grateful for this calmer patch. I can see progress across December, although it started off with a ten day wave. Gotta notice when you're feeling good, I think, and build on it.

Feeling slightly more wobbly this morning again, but I'm getting more confident that these days will pass - they do seem to be passing more quickly. Also digesting news about brother, it's bound to have an effect.

[Cocopuffz17]

That is awesome! It will keep getting better! Glad you are noticing the positive changes! All the best to you! 
 

Everyday that passes is another day closer to being healed! 

[sunnysideup69]

2 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

That is awesome! It will keep getting better! Glad you are noticing the positive changes! All the best to you! 
 

Everyday that passes is another day closer to being healed! 

 

Hey @Cocopuffz17, thank you! ❤️ 

[sunnysideup69]

hey @Gridley, thought I'd just update you on the skin thing....

So I went to the GP today.He said that it could be a stress reaction, or could be a reaction to the Venlafaxine showing up with some delay, but that it wasn't an adverse reaction so it was ok.

I deliberately asked 'Could it not be a WD reaction to stopping the Citalopram?' and he came out with the expected 'no, that wouldn't happen after three months, would have happened sooner.' *Sigh*....my money is still on delayed WD reaction, if you whip away an antihistamine type drug that I've been using since 2008, with only a one year break in 2015, then skin may well show some reaction, don't you reckon? Or brutally switching from one drug to another?

Ruled out shingles and anything more serious, though. 

[Gridley]

36 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Could it not be a WD reaction to stopping the Citalopram?'

I'd still go with the 3-month delayed Citalopram reaction.  Your doctor's reaction was priceless if it weren't so sad:  "No, that wouldn't happen after three months."  That's exactly when it could happen.

[sunnysideup69]

Just now, Gridley said:

I'd still go with the 3-month delayed Citalopram reaction.  Your doctor's reaction was priceless if it weren't so sad:  "No, that wouldn't happen after three months."  That's exactly when it could happen.

Exactly my thoughts @Gridley.....it's that constant denial of delayed WD, isn't it?? Gah!!!

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Monday 14th January 2020 ❤️ another ok day, ❤️ 

 

Some wakefulness but straight back to sleep

520 awake

600 up

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR and fish oil 1100mg

715 breakfast

Minor anxiety today, feel a bit fragile, digesting news about bro, emotional...this passes and morning is fine

 

1200 to 1300 slight dip in mood but recovers

 

1300 at friend's place, she has prepared lunch for me. Delicious. I cuddle her dog and anxiety is gone now.

 

1600 arrive home again

1700 gym exercises at home

1800 supper and relaxing

2000 meditation

2130 bed, fall asleep really fast

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Good morning! Today I woke up feeling HAPPY 

Thought it would be good to log that. Have a good day out there everyone.....or a good sleep, depending on your time zone xxx

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Tuesday 14th January 2020 ❤️ A day turned into a window ❤️ 

 

520 look at clock, just woken from an intense dream, heart is racing a bit. Anxiety at 2.

645 breakfast

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR plus 1100mg fish oil

800 Baylissa affirmations

830 anxiety still around 2, general inner wobbliness

945 arrive home from 5k run, tired but anxiety gone, take shower

1140 doc appointment about rashy skin

...he thinks it's stress....delayed reaction to Venlafaxine....which should clear. I ask whether it's could be Citalopram WD as it started bang on 3 months after discontinuation....he trots out the ususal 'oh no, wouldn't happen after 3 months....' So GPs are still denying delayed WD effects exist *sigh* I decide not to battle his opinion on this occasion.

1300 lunch Mood is now good, anxiety gone

1530 lunch part 2

 

This afternoon I do an hour of art! Been working on a large doodle.....haven't done anything to it since AGES, probably not since last June. It's good to do something creative with colour again.

1900 meditation, then spend evening listening to celery juice podcast by medical medium

2030 screens off and I begin reading, makes me really sleepy and I start to doze accidentally....

2130 I've dozed off but now I'm awake. Quickly tidy up and about 2140 am in bed, fall asleep

 

It's been a good day and it's really lovely to work on something creative again

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Wednesday 15th January 2020 ❤️  Today was a window ❤️ I'm getting longer strings of WD normal/window days ❤️ 

 ❤️ no anxiety, no depression, mood good ❤️ 

 

Today I woke up looking forward to work!

 

Woke in night, checked time, 3am, straight back to sleep

500 awoke slightly before and got up

545 breakfast

600 meditation

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR plus 1100mg fish oil

Leave for work in good spirits

 

1215 lunch

 

1730 arrive home after work/trip to supermarket

1800 supper, then more artwork, limited social media

2030 take a shower and then read, relax, start falling asleep as I'm reading

2130 bed

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Thursday 16th January 2020  ❤️ Window ❤️ 

 

Hello SA warriors. Very excited. Looking at my chart this morning, I realised that, out of the last 35 days, I've only had 5 bad days. The rest has been either WD normal, which has improved, or a window. This is progress ❤️ Dare I say it, but I might have reached some stability, after 18 months of struggling ❤️ Even though I'm still on meds and so it's a MEDICATED stability, I don't care, I'll take it. Am aware that a wave could take me out at any time, also, but have gained enough ground over the last month to know that I'm healing from big destabilisation/ kindling. The only downer at the moment is, my face is a mess....post WD spots and eczema, but those will heal as my nervous system heals. I've obviously got a way to go before tapering, I'd like at least three months of WD normal, plus at least three months extra, and then we'll see how things are. This time around, I'm in NO RUSH. I want off, but I know now how damaging it is to rush it.

 

Woke early, the restless sleep

455 looked at time 

500 up

600 breakfast

645 chills, very cold, neurocold, if that makes sense

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR plus 1100mg fish oil

 

Leave for work, bit tired, minor headache, mood still good

12 15 lunch

1530 go home

1730 gym exercises

1800 supper, listening to music

2030 shower

2100 listening to youtube podcast, fell asleep

2130 woke, took self to bed

 

 

Notes for Friday 17th January 2020 ❤️ another window ❤️ 

Woke about 430 then dozed til 500

 

600 breakfast

 

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR plus 1100mg fish oil

 

Leave for work

12 15 lunch

1530 go home

1800 supper, watching Netflix

2200 bed

 

 

I don't know which came first, improvement in mood, or beginning to do things I love.....went back to 5 rhythms last week and also have been doing more artwork this week. It relaxes me. Also, since mid December I have had regular meetups with friends for a coffee or a chat. Haven't been able to do much of that over the last 1.5 years...just didn't feel like it.

Am also becoming more aware that I really need to invest in some CBT therapy for myself, because using it on my obsessive thoughts/ruminations REALLY helps.

Going to head off to do Park Run this morning. Bit of cleaning/tidying this afternoon. Seeing a friend fo coffee in Central London tomorrow. Thinking I'd like to go to a gallery on Monday.

My God. I'm beginning to feel like living life again. Can't tell you how grateful I am for this feeling.

 

[Cocopuffz17]

Woohooo! This is amazing! I’m glad you are feeling better! All the best in continue success!

 

Everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed! 

[sunnysideup69]

6 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Woohooo! This is amazing! I’m glad you are feeling better! All the best in continue success!

 

Everyday that passes is one day closer to being healed! 

 

It is amazing! I'm so relieved to be feeling better. Just wish my skin would clear up.....but that will come as WD passes, I suspect. Thanks so much for your encouragement  We are getting there!

[Erell]

3 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

It is amazing! I'm so relieved to be feeling better. Just wish my skin would clear up...

Wouah! You're definitely getting there dear friend !!! 😙

Thank you for sharing these good news, you give a lot of hope !

Your skin Will also improve, it may take time, but as you now know, it Will eventually ❤

[sunnysideup69]

Notes for Saturday 18th January 2020 ❤️ Another window ❤️ 

Anxiety/depression free day ❤️ 

 

 

Woke about 300 then slept til 500

 

600 breakfast

700 Venlafaxine 75mg XR plus 1100mg fish oil

900 did park run 5k, got personal best of 33 mins 48 seconds

1145 lunch

1430 went shopping/did errands

spent afternoon watching Netflix

1700 supper

2200 bed

 

 

 

 

[sunnysideup69]

12 hours ago, Erell said:

Wouah! You're definitely getting there dear friend !!! 😙

Thank you for sharing these good news, you give a lot of hope !

Your skin Will also improve, it may take time, but as you now know, it Will eventually ❤

 

Thank you lovely @Erell! You are doing so well with work, checked your thread, absolutely fabulous! It's so good to begin to feel better and more like going out etc. I thought that would never happen...

Yeah, just have to be patient with skin. I'm on the Facebook Surviving Antideps page and posted about my skin there. I've currently got a mixture of a couple of spots and some dermatitis/eczema. I look like a teenager again.....anyway, someone on the group messaged me and reminded me that WD puts a lot of strain on the system, creates a lot of cortisol etc. so skin issues are normal. They had them and it cleared up.

Now I'm feeling better, I have to continue to look after myself and not start rushing around. I'm gonna take a good year to stabilise, I think, no more stress needed for a LONG time.

12 hours ago, Erell said:

Wouah! You're definitely getting there dear friend !!! 😙

Thank you for sharing these good news, you give a lot of hope !

Your skin Will also improve, it may take time, but as you now know, it Will eventually ❤

 

Thank you lovely @Erell! You are doing so well with work, checked your thread, absolutely fabulous! It's so good to begin to feel better and more like going out etc. I thought that would never happen...

Yeah, just have to be patient with skin. I'm on the Facebook Surviving Antideps page and posted about my skin there. I've currently got a mixture of a couple of spots and some dermatitis/eczema. I look like a teenager again.....anyway, someone on the group messaged me and reminded me that WD puts a lot of strain on the system, creates a lot of cortisol etc. so skin issues are normal. They had them and it cleared up.

Now I'm feeling better, I have to continue to look after myself and not start rushing around. I'm gonna take a good year to stabilise, I think, no more stress needed for a LONG time.

[MissyE]

44 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Now I'm feeling better, I have to continue to look after myself and not start rushing around. I'm gonna take a good year to stabilise, I think, no more stress needed for a LONG time.

Morning love.  I have a triangle of spots on my left cheek (like a therefore) near my mouth and spots and rashes around my mouth.  Saw them and thought of you 😘.  I don't feel as despondent this time.  I have my period too so WD on top of hormones.  I also have red under my nose like I'm a bloody coke head or have a cold all the time or both. I can't remember when this first came but it hasn't gone yet.

I'm using this window to spring clean my house and declutter.  First time exercise has gone on the back burner.  Only til I'm up to home baseline then I'll get back on it.  Still getting outside for fresh air.

The atmosphere here is gorgeous at the moment.  So much giggling and fun.  Mummy's mood really does set the tone for the family.  Have a good day.

Love Missy x